Kindergarten Cop
PLOT:
The taciturn, stubborn, autocratic, violent Police Detective John Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has pursued drug dealer Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson) for years. He finally arrests Crisp for murder, but is unable to convict him due to the refusal of a witness named Cindy (whose boyfriend Danny was shot and killed by Crisp) to identify the killer. After Kimble psychologically humbles Cindy, Crisp is identified in a police line-up. Kimble, accompanied by Detective Phoebe O’Hara (Pamela Reed), is then ordered to go undercover in Astoria, Oregon, to find Crisp’s ex-wife Rachel and their son, who are hiding from him, and offer her a deal to testify against Cullen. Since their appearance is not known to them, O’Hara is to act as the substitute teacher of the son’s kindergarten class at Astoria Elementary School while Kimble has to track down the identity of the mother, who is believed to have stolen money from Crisp.
Kimble becomes passionately fond of his student Dominic’s mother Joyce (Penelope Ann Miller), who also works at the school. Joyce, like many other of the students’ mothers, is on terms of estrangement from her husband, so that she will not speak of him. This excites the suspicions of Kimble. In a conversation with the gradually more trusting Joyce, Kimble learns that Joyce and his quarry Rachel are one and the same, and conveys this to O’Hara.
Crisp is released from jail when his attorney arranges for his mother Eleanor (Carroll Baker) to poison Cindy, who is the only witness. When they receive the news of Cindy’s death and Crisp’s release, Kimble and O’Hara tell Joyce the truth of their mission. She tells them that she never stole any money, but that Crisp wishes to control Dominic. She then leaves in a rush. Kimble attempts to track them down, to find that Dominic has gone without the knowledge of his mother to plant toy lasers in a radio-transmitter tower. Dominic has been raised believing that his mother has enemies, identified only as the “bad people”; to quell his own feelings of helplessness, he has made these toys and now wishes to put them into action. Kimble, remembering this, is able to retrieve Dominic. Joyce and Kimble share a kiss, as a sign of her gratitude and his protection.
During the next day, at the school, a newly arrived Crisp deliberately causes a fire in the library, which triggers the school fire alarm and initiates an evacuation as a diversion for the rest of the school children, and thus abducts his son; the other children, who have been put on the alert by O’Hara, see him and he flees. While Kimble searches for them, a frightened Dominic attempts to escape his kidnapper. Outside, O’Hara attempts to get in the building, but is kept outside by the firefighters. She takes her revolver out of her purse and runs around to the back of the school to get in, but is struck by Eleanor’s 1989 Buick Century, after which Eleanor steals her gun. In the school’s locker room, Kimble and Crisp fight over Dominic. When Kimble has the upper hand, Crisp threatens to kill his son. Just as Crisp is about to shoot Kimble, Kimble’s tame ferret emerges from Dominic’s shirt, where he had been concealed, and bites Crisp on the neck (earlier, Kimble told the children that ferret doesn’t bite), causing Crisp to shoot Kimble in the leg. Kimble grabs his gun and kills Crisp by shooting him three times in the chest. Dominic, Joyce, and the ferret escape.
Eleanor enters and threatens the wounded Kimble. As she is about to kill him, an apparently intact but injured O’Hara enters and knocks her unconscious with a baseball bat. Eleanor is arrested, while the unconscious Kimble (much to the sadness of the children) is hospitalized. During his recovery, O’Hara and her chef fiancée announce their marriage, inviting him to it.
While Kimble recovers, he comes back to the school to visit his kindergarten classroom. While he is visiting, Joyce sees him and kisses him in front of all the kids. Other Reviewers have said the Kimble returns as a full time teacher of his Kindergarten class, and leaves the police force. This is due to the fact that O’Hara needs to ask where to send the wedding invite (California or Astoria), even though his assignment in Astoria has finished. And also, when the school principal (Linda Hunt) says to Kimble as he re-enters the classroom “They’re all yours”, and hands him his teaching whistle, whereupon Kimble is given a hearty welcome back by Phoebe and his pupils.
REVIEW:
Cops go undercover all the time, but not many, if any, of them look like Arnold Schwarzanegger. Can you imagine being a kindergartner and this giant, scary dude suddenly becomes your teacher?
Even a big tough guy like Schwarzenegger can get overwhelmed by a bunch of 6 yr olds. Part of this is because he isn’t exactly a big kid loving person and only took this job because his partner was too sick to start the assignment. As John Kimble, Schwarzenegger exhibits his typical hard, tough guy exterior. That is, until he is softened up by his unexpected compassion for the kids and fellow teacher Rachael, played by Penelope Ann Miller.
Miller is a beautiful woman, no question. I remember my elementary school teachers having a similar look (something happened around jr. high…they all became a bunch of old women instead). Aside from her beauty, she isn’t a bad actress either. This really shows when Kimble tells her he’s a cop and she has to show all the emotion of being lied to, concern for her son Dominic, and fear.
Richard Tyson is a total unknown to me. As a matter of fact, I think this is the only thing he’s known for. As Cullen Crisp, he seems to be a bit unstable, as well as being a mama’s boy. Crisp is hell-bent on getting his son back, since Rachael ran off with him and will do anything he can to see that happen. He even attacks a man in the street for a toy car set for the boy (who he doesn’t even have possession of). When he finally does manage to get his hands on Dominic, he appears to be driven insane because he doesn’t recognize him as his father. This guy is a total nutcase.
Pamela Reed brings in some comic relief as Kimble’s partner, Phoebe. Phoebe was originally supposed to be the kindergarten teacher, since she has the teaching experience, but caught some sort of stomach flu on the plane,and well, the rest is film plot. Reed has a memorable scene where she feigns an Austrian accent (which is actually thicker than Arnold’s). This film would not be as entertaining without her.
The kids in the class each have their own little quirks. Would you expect less? There is one diamond in the rough, though. Look for a young Odette Yustman as Rosa.
Is there any reason to dislike this film. I’m sure critics, naysayers, and those that are nit-picky can find something. Me, I liked it. I don’t love it, but that doesn’t mean I won’t willingly watch it again. That’s my opinion, though. You have to make you own assessment.
4 out of 5 stars
