Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

PLOT:

The film begins with the sentencing of Jean-Baptiste Grenouille (Ben Whishaw), a notorious murderer. Between the reading of the sentence and the execution, the story of his life is told in flashback, beginning with his abandonment at birth in a French fish market. Raised in an orphanage, Grenouille grows into a strangely detached boy with a superhuman sense of smell. After growing to maturity as a tanner’s apprentice, he makes his first delivery to Paris, where he revels in the new odors. He focuses on a girl selling plums (Karoline Herfurth) and startles her with his behavior. To prevent her from crying out, he covers the girl’s mouth and unintentionally suffocates her. After realizing that she is dead, he strips her body naked and smells her until the scent fades. Afterwards, Grenouille becomes haunted by the desire to preserve scents forever.

After making a delivery to a perfume shop, Grenouille amazes the Italian owner, Giuseppe Baldini (Dustin Hoffman), with his ability to create fragrances. He revitalizes the perfumer’s career with new formulas, demanding only that Baldini teach him how to convert scents into perfume. Baldini explains that all perfumes are harmonies of twelve individual scents, and may contain a theoretical thirteenth scent. He also tells a story about a perfume discovered in an Egyptian tomb that was so perfect that it caused everyone in the entire world to briefly believe they were in paradise the moment the bottle was opened. When Grenouille discovers that Baldini’s method of distillation will not capture the scents of all objects, such as iron chains and dead animals, he becomes depressed. After receiving a letter of presentation written by Baldini, Grenouille leaves to learn a different method in Grasse. En route to Grasse, Grenouille realises that he has no scent of his own, and is therefore a cipher. He decides that creating the perfect smell will prove his worth.

Upon arrival in Grasse, Grenouille catches the scent of Laura Richis (Rachel Hurd-Wood), daughter of the wealthy Antoine Richis (Alan Rickman)and decides that she will be his “thirteenth scent”, the lynchpin of his perfect perfume. Grenouille finds a job in Grasse under Madame Arnulfi (Corinna Harfouch) and Dominique Druot (Paul Berrondo) assisting with perfumes and learns the method of enfleurage to capture essential oils. After some experimenting with the general principles of enfleurage, he tries the method of distillation on a cotton-picker, which fails. After this, he attempts another method on a prostitute who refuses to carry on with the procedure and he kills her in order to get her scent. He succeeds in preserving the scent of the woman by shaving off her hair, covering her in animal fat, and then distilling the fat. Grenouille embarks on a killing spree, murdering beautiful young virgins and capturing their scents. He dumps the womens’ naked corpses around the city, creating an uproar that threatens to tear the city apart. After completing preserving the first twelve scents, Grenoille plans his attack on Laura. During a church sermon against him it is announced that an innocent has confessed to the murders. Richis remains unconvinced and flees the city with his daughter. Grenouille tracks her scent to a roadside inn and sneaks into her room that night. The next morning, Richis discovers Laura lying dead in her bed.

Soldiers capture Grenouille moments after he finishes preparing his perfume. On the day of his execution, he applies a drop of the perfume to himself. The executioner and the crowd in attendance are speechless at the beauty of the perfume. They declare Grenouille innocent before falling into a massive orgy. Richis, still convinced at Grenouille’s guilt, threatens him with his sword. Before managing to attack he becomes overwhelmed by the scent, falls to his knees and embraces Jean-Baptiste as his “son”. The town awakens and decides that the godly Grenouille could not have been the murderer. Walking out of Grasse unscathed, Grenouille has enough perfume to rule the world, but has discovered that it will not allow him to love or be loved like a normal person. Disenchanted by his aimless quest and tired of his life, he returns to the Paris. Meanwhile, Druot is convicted for the murders and hanged, since it was his backyard where the clothes ang hair of the victims were found. In Paris, Grenoille returns to the fish market where he was born and dumps the perfume on his his head. Overcome by the scent and in the belief that Grenouille is an angel, the nearby crowd devours him. The next day, one final drop of perfume falls from the open bottle, lying undisturbed on the ground.

REVIEW:

I have no problem telling you that this film is one of those creepy, “artsy-fartsy” types. In other words, this is not for everyone. Some will like it, others won’t. I happen to fall in the latter.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer is based on the novel of the same name and centers around olfactory genius Jean-Baptiste Grenouille’s quest to replicate the scent he once sniffed off a plum girl in France. The scene in which he meets her is quite creepy. I mean, this guy, covered in all kinds of funk and muck from working in the tannery, walks up behind her and all of a sudden just starts sniffing her. A little while later, he tracks her down and basically accosted her in her little cubby hole thing and in the process of keeping her quiet, kills her. All for a scent!

As dark as this film is, the narration, done by John Hurt, seems to go a total different direction, and sort of resembles the tone of something like the Nanny McPhee or Pushing Daisies narration. Nothing wrong with, mind you, it just seemed rather odd. Having said that, the contrast was nice.

Casting for a film such as this could not have been easy, but powerhouses such as Dustin Hoffman and Alan Rickman take their relatively small roles and make magic out of them (as if we would expect less?).

The true challenge came from Jean-Baptiste Grenouille. This guy had to be naive and creepy, without making it seem that way. I have to commend the guy for pulling it off. However, the guy was supposed to be French, yet his British accent was as prominent as the nose on Dustin Hoffman’s face. Did they not have a dialect coach to teach this guy?

As I said, I didn’t like the film, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good picture. It just wasn’t my cup of tea. I recommend to those of you that like this type of suspense drama and period pieces, or those that like these “artsy-fartsy” flicks. The rest of us can go find something more interesting.

3 out of 5 stars

Robocop 2

PLOT:

RoboCop is slowly coming to grips with the loss of his former life as Alex Murphy. Though he attempts to reach out to his family, he eventually realizes he can never return to them. When he finally sees his wife, he tells her that the face was placed on him to honor Alex Murphy.

OCP’s current plans also come into focus: they attempt to have Detroit default on its debt, so that OCP can foreclose on the entire city, take over the city government, demolish the old city, and put up a planned community development, Delta City, in its place. As part of this plan, OCP forces a police strike by terminating their pension plan and cutting salaries. As RoboCop is property of OCP and cannot strike, this measure increases his duties as the city sinks further into chaos and terror.

Meanwhile, the Security Concepts division of OCP continues to sink millions into the development of a more advanced “RoboCop 2″. However, each project ends in disaster; once the officers realize what they have become, they immediately turn suicidal. They deduce that Murphy only survived because of his exceedingly strong sense of duty, and his moral objection to suicide as an Irish-Catholic. The scientists decide they need someone similar, like a criminal with a desire for power and immortality, regardless of the cost.

Throughout the city, a new designer drug named “Nuke” has been plaguing the streets. The primary distributor, Cain, believes that Nuke is the way to paradise, and is obsessed with power. He is assisted by his girlfriend Angie, his still-juvenile apprentice Hob, and Officer Duffy, a corrupt police officer. Having learned of Cain’s involvement with Nuke from Duffy, RoboCop confronts him and his gang at an abandoned construction site. However, RoboCop is rendered immobile and disassembled; the pieces are then left in front of the Detroit Police Station.

OCP, reluctant to foot his massive repair costs, ignores his fellow police officers insistence that he be repaired. RoboCop is saved when Dr. Juliette Faxx, an OCP psychologist, takes charge of the new RoboCop team. She argues for his importance as a figure of the community, and creates a list of over 300 new directives to be added to his program. Murphy is ultimately powerless to refuse the new commands, and is rendered unable to take aggressive action against criminals, even to defend himself. After the original RoboCop team explains what to do about this, Murphy shocks himself with a power cable to erase all of his directives. He then leads the striking officers off the picket line to attack Cain’s hideout. Cain is badly injured in the battle and is taken to the hospital. With Cain immobilized, Hob takes control. Faxx, having decided that Cain is perfect for the RoboCop 2 project, arrives at the hospital and switches off his life support. Later, while displaying the new RoboCop 2 (Cain) to the head of OCP, Faxx demonstrates how he may be pacified through a canister of pure Nuke.

Meanwhile, Hob arranges a secret meeting with the Mayor, offering to bail out the city’s debt to OCP, but only if he agrees to a hands-off policy regarding the distribution of Nuke. Since this would hinder OCP’s attempts to take over the city, they send RoboCop 2 in to kill everyone. While the mayor escapes through a sewer drain, all attendants, including Hob, Angie and two city councilmen, are slaughtered. RoboCop arrives late, only in time to find and comfort a dying Hob, who tells him about what happened.

During the unveiling of Delta City and Robocop 2 at a press conference, the OCP President unwittingly presents a canister filled with Nuke. Cain escapes control, destroying the control device that arms his weapons, and opens fire on the crowd. RoboCop arrives, and the two cyborgs battle throughout the building, eventually falling off the roof and into an underground facility. As the rest of the police force arrives and engages Cain, RoboCop heads back to the OCP building to get the canister of Nuke. Upon seeing the canister, RoboCop 2 immediately ceases fire and takes it. While distracted, RoboCop jumps onto his back, punches his way through to Cain’s brain, and crushes it.

The Chairman of OCP, executive Johnson, and OCP lawyer Holzgang discuss the companies liability for the massacre, and decide to scapegoat Faxx, claiming that she acted without company support in designing RoboCop 2. Lewis complains about how the OCP executives will escape legally unscathed, but RoboCop reassured Lewis and tells her to be patient.

REVIEW:

Following the events of the original Robocop, Robocop 2 should have been an automatic smash, right? Well, not quite.

First off, there was some sort of change at the top, so we don’t have the same director or writers (I think). Second, the story doesn’t gel.

Don’t gret me wrong, having Robocop tackle both the war on drugs as well as the corruption in the city government works, but something about doing them both didn’t quite sit right with me. I think it was more to do with how these are two totally unrelated things that somehow get loosely connected through the use of the same leader, but they could have had that going on from day one and made it that much super.

Violence is something that you should expect from a late 80s-early 90s action flick, especially this, so I don’t wanna hear that all the shooting was too much. If you think this is too much, go watch a war movie!

The action could be better. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but Robocop moves so stiff and doesn’t appear available to run. This brings to question how does he chase down criminals? Sure, it looks like he catches all of them, but you can’t tell me there aren’t more tan a few who have simple run away. Roocop dos miss once in a while.

The casting is pretty much consistent with the first film, although I have to say that newcomer Gabriel Damon, who plays the kid that’s the second in command. He commands such a presence on the screen, you’d think he was a bonafide leading man.

As far as cop flicks go, this one is not going to be basking in the same glory as the original. However, it is worth a watching just to complete the trilogy. It isn’t as bad a critics make it out to be, but rather quite enjoyable. I could have down without the onslaught of technical attacks on Robosop. For some reason, I ws under the impression that all the armor and stuff was meant to protect him, and that what is left of his human side had enough free will to allow him to not seem so robotic. I guess this is worth a viewing, but if you really want to see a good action flick, there are plenty of alternatives.

3 out of 5 stars

Assasination of a High School President

PLOT:

Bobby Funke (Reece Thompson) is a less than popular high school sophomore with a dream to get into Northwestern University’s summer journalism program. Although Bobby claims he’s a great writer, he’s never finished an article for St. Donovan’s School Newspaper. The editor-in-chief Clara, (Melonie Diaz), assigns Bobby to do an article on Paul Moore, the student body president. Bobby attempts to get an interview, but is unable to get a story out of Paul and is bullied by Paul’s friends. Paul is the star of the basketball team and on a game night, Paul takes a fall and injures his knee. The next morning Principal Kirkpatrick (Bruce Willis) discovers the SATs have been stolen from a safe in his office. Kirkpatrick rounds up his “usual suspects” of high school misfits along with Bobby to question them. The group is innocent but Kirkpatrick warns them all to watch their step.

When senior Francesca Facchini (Mischa Barton) solicits Bobby’s help tracking down the set of stolen SATs, Funke uncovers a story. He sets on a large scale investigation and links Paul Moore to the crime. He writes an article pointing the finger at Paul. Kirkpatrick forces Paul to open his locker and the SATs fall out. As a result of his sleuthing, Funke becomes one of the most popular kids at St. Donovan’s. Clara decides to submit Funke’s article to Northwestern which earns Bobby a scholarship to the summer program. Funke wins the respect of everyone from Principal Kirkpatrick to the kid that farts on him in Spanish class and Francesca takes Funke to homecoming. As Funke’s popularity grows so do his suspicions. Paul confronts Bobby, proclaiming his innocence, stating that he got into Cornell but decided to take the test again to see if he could get a better score. Funke begins to wonder if the president really stole the SATs or if he’s just a pawn in a conspiracy.

Funke investigates even deeper into the lives of Paul’s shady friends, all members of the Student Council. He discovers their involvement with drug dealing. The Student Council had actually stolen the SATs along with other tests throughout the year, modifying the marks of the best students to make them doubt their test-taking abilities and turn to the Student Council for performance-enhancing Adderrall and other speed-like medications. Funke says that while Paul wasn’t a part of the scam, group ringleader Marlon Piazza (Luke Grimes) has Paul framed to avoid being caught. Funke also finds out that Francesca lead him along the entire time to keep him from finding out the truth. Francesca and Marlon, step-siblings, are revealed as lovers.

Funke confronts the group in the principal’s office. Marlon threatens to have Funke thrown out the window and frame it as a suicide, but his threat and confession are heard on the school’s intercom system. When Funke entered the room, he secretly turned on the microphone; Funke’s friends save him from being thrown out the window and Kirkpatrick rushes into the office, followed by the student body and Francesca. Francesca attempts to gain Funke’s trust again, only to be shut down and left to deal with Kirkpatrick’s punishment.

REVIEW:

Every now and then, a movie comes along that has the potential to be a truly great film, but just isn’t executed well. This is either due to bad directing, acting, or hat have you. Assassination of a High School President falls into that very category.

My expectations for this film weren’t very high. I mean, this wasn’t a bad film, mind you, but there just wasn’t anything to keep my interest.

The story was a great one, and in the right hands could have been a thing fo greatness, but the filmmaker was not the person to handle this. For some reason, this film noir story was set in a current high school setting. That right there should have tipped me off that the rest of this film was not going to be worth watching.

Most of the cast is unknowns, such as Luke Grimes, Reece Daniel Thompson, Melonie Diaz, etc., who do a great job with their parts that may very well led them to better things.

Bruce Willis’ character, that of a shell-shocked former military man who served in Desert Storm but is now a principal. Not exactly the usual work you’d expect from Willis, but he eats up the screen in each scene he’s in.

Mischa Barton doesn’t work for me as the hottest girl in school. Maybe a popular girl, but that’s stretching it ab it. I always thought she couldn’t act on The O.C., and this just further proved my point. On the other hand, she doesn’t look so anorexic here.

So, what is the verdict for Assassination of a High School President? Lots of potential, good story, decent cast, but none of these things help to make this film worth watching. It is such a bore than you don’t even question why it was indefinitely put on hold from a release in theaters, but instead went direct to DVD. I guess what I’m saying is don’t waste your time.

2 out fo 5 stars

Orchestra Wives

PLOT:

Connie Ward (Rutherford) is a young woman who marries Bill Abbott (Montgomery), a trumpet player in Gene Morrison’s (Miller) swing band (Miller’s character was given a name with initials that matched Miller’s so that the band could use their monogrammed stainless-steel bandstands). She soon finds herself at odds with the cattiness and petty jealousies of the other band members’ spouses. Her discomfort is exacerbated by a flirtation between Abbott and Jaynie (Bari), the band’s female vocalist. When Ward eventually walks out on Abbott, their split releases so many other tensions among the musicians and their wives, leader Morrison is forced to break up the orchestra. Ward and the band’s pianist Sinjin (Romero) then work behind the scenes to reunite the band, which also produces a reconciliation between Ward and Abbot [with additional help from Connie's father (Grant Mitchell)]. The re-formed band has a series of hit recordings and all ends happily.

REVIEW:

It doesn’t get much better than the music og Glenn Miller, does it. Orchestra Wives is full of Miller’s masterpieces…and there is an actual movie in there somewhere.

The story is quite good, to be honest with you. An innocent fangirl meets the object of her affection who asks her to marry him. Then we get the lowdown on the life of the wife of an orchestra member.

As the film progresses, we learn that there is typical cattiness and jealousy among the women, but that’s a given considering how they’re on the road for what I think they said was 35 cities in 29 days or something. That is bound to mess with one’s head and maybe even their hormones.

The little bit of marital drama near the end makes sense considering how whirlwind their 2 day (and that’s stretching it) courtship was. Howver, the end of the film left me wanting more. Usually, that’s a good thing, but the way this film ends just didn’t satisfy me.

The cast is superb.

George Montgomery plays a good lead trumpet player, although his skills at acting like he was playing suck. As an actual trumpet player, I think I know a thing or two about this subject. No one has made it as believable as Antonio Banderas in The Mambo Kings, and even he was obviously faking. That point aside, his acting is similar to those of leading men of this era. That is he didn’t rely on some kind of special effects or great script (not saying this is a bad one), but rather his own talent.

Ann Rutherford portrays a naive fangirl to Bill Abbott; eventually becoming his wife. Her performance here is good, but I came away thinking she could have done more. The one time we really get to see her flex her chops is in the scene which results in her inadvertently breaking up the band. The rest of the film she is behind the scenes, tagging along.

Cesar Romero’s character is so suave, yet obvious comic relief. He has the machismo you would expect from a jazz musician of this day. At the same time you can’t help but laugh at his cheesy lines that get him rejected at every turn. I wish there would have been more of him.

Glenn Miller is apparently more than a band leader and brilliant composer/arranger. He also can do a bit of acting. Granted, all he had to do here was read some line as if he were saying them, and go by a different name, but that’s still acting and something you don’t see too often from musicians (with a handful of exceptions).

Orchestra Wives is a bit more serious that comparable films of this genre and era, but not so much that it gets all Citizen Kane-like.  Unfortunately, though, the film is dependent on the music of Glenn Miller and his orchestra to keep it going, as proven by the recurring theme of “At Last” that is played ad nauseum every chance they get. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being dependent on Miller’s music, but it overshadows the story a bit. Luckily, the main character is in the band, so it works.

As a lover of swing and especially Glenn Miller’s music, this was one of those films that was a real treat for me. I’m not sure if you have the same tastes as me, but if you do, then you’re sure to enjoy this every step of the way. If you’re not into jazz and such, then this may not be the film for you, but there is still a great story that is worth seeing. This film gets a very high recommendation from me to you.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

I Love You, Man

PLOT:

Peter Klaven, a real estate agent, just got engaged to Zooey Rice. Zooey is ecstatic about the engagement and calls her friends to tell them about it, but Peter does not seem to have anyone special he’d like to share the good news with. While visiting his parents, it comes out that Peter is more adept at getting along with women, instead of having any male friends. After overhearing Zooey’s friends voice their concerns over the matter, Peter realizes he needs to find male friends in order to have a best man for his wedding.

Peter attempts to go on “man dates” with several men, which all end in failure, due to his general lack of knowledge in regards to “being a man”. Feeling rejected, Peter is about to give up, when during an open house at Lou Ferrigno’s mansion, he meets Sydney Fife, an investor who (admittedly) is attending the showing simply to pick up divorced women. The two hit it off very well, despite having different personalities, and exchange business cards. Later, Peter calls Sydney, and they go out for drinks.

The two continue to hang out more, and Sydney eventually invites Peter into his “man cave,” a space in his garage where he keeps a big-screen TV, his collection of musical instruments, and various other belongings. Peter and Sydney quickly bond over their mutual fanhood of the band Rush, and start meeting frequently for jam sessions. Peter finally introduces Sydney to Zooey at their engagement party, but Zooey’s opinion of Sydney sours when he makes a very awkward and inappropriate toast.

The next night, Peter is watching TV with Zooey, when Sydney calls and talks Peter into going to see Rush live. Zooey reluctantly agrees to join them, but feels ignored while Peter and Sydney are bonding during the concert. The next day, while shopping for tuxedos, Sydney asks Peter why he is marrying Zooey, and also asks for an $8,000 loan. After some thought, Peter decides to loan Sydney the money, and later grants him the honor of best man at his wedding.

Zooey, meanwhile, has become suspicious of Sydney, especially after he gets into a fight with Lou Ferrigno, possibly causing Peter to lose exclusive sales rights to Ferrigno’s house. Peter tells Zooey that he lent Sydney money and asks her if she knows why they are getting married. Hurt and angry, Zooey leaves to stay at her friend’s house.

When Peter leaves for work that next morning, he learns that Sydney has used the $8,000 loan to purchase several ridiculous billboard advertisements for Peter’s real estate business. Peter confronts Sydney, and decides to end their friendship. Peter then patches things up with Zooey, explaining to her that he is nervous but ready to get married.

Peter discovers that Sydney’s billboards worked after he starts receiving more clients and offers on the Ferrigno house. Peter feels bad about fighting with Sydney but doesn’t re-invite Sydney to the wedding. Before the wedding, Zooey sees Peter upset, so she calls and invites Sydney, who is already on his way to the wedding. Just before the vows are to be taken, Sydney makes a dramatic entrance. He informs Peter and Zooey that he is, in fact, a successful investor and returns the money he borrowed from Peter, stating that the billboards were the couple’s wedding present. Peter and Sydney declare their platonic love to each other, and Sydney assumes the role of best man

REVIEW:

With a title like I Love You, Man, one would assume this is some kind of flick about gay men, but you would be sadly mistaken because, in fact, this is a film about the relationship between two straight males who become best friends.

I have a little bit of a soft spot for this film, actually. No, I didn’t love it, but it did touch me. Like the main character, Peter, most of my friends, especially the ones I’m close to are female. I haven’t had a true male best friend since I was a wee little tyke. I’m sure there are more guys out there like me who feel the same way, but are just afraid/ashamed to admit it.

The comedy is what really drives this film. There are moments of slapstick, gross out/phart jokes, high brow, senical, and just plain physical comedy. However, with all those various types, each done very well, I might add, none really seemed to leave a lasting impression. As a matter of fact, if not for Jason Segal’s character, this film might have very well fallen flat.

The cast is pretty good. I have a bit of trouble believing that Jamie Pressly would marry Jon Favreau, though.

Paul Rudd plays the straight man to perfection, but I just don’t think he has enough to carry a film on his own. He just seemed uncomfortable the whole time. It was sort of like he wanted someone else to take over and be the lead. To this point, his character suffered.

Jason Segel single-handedly saves this flick. Seriously, if you take Segel out, this is a very dull flick. His comedic timing and manchild ways make this thing enjoyable. The drama at the end was a waste, but I guess there had to be some sort of conflict, right?

Rashida Jones’ hotness is wasted here, as well as her talent. She started off the film as the understanding fiancée, but as the film progressed she became this unlikable, jealous bitch. The ironic thing is that she is the one that suggested Peter find a best friend! Still, things manage to right themselves and she became likable (as if anyone can hate her).

Is I Love You, Man worth the time to watch? Well, yes and no. I mean it is a funny movie, and a definite break from all those typical rom-coms where some chick is running around pining for Mr. Right who happens to be right in front of her face…blah, blah, blah. However, the entertainment factor of a film like this, which is supposed to be a comedy, is low. So, sure you can watch this right now, or wait awhile. I’m sure it’ll pop up on TNT or TBS or something as one of their weekend movies.

4 out of 5 stars

The Haunting in Connecticut

PLOT:

Set in 1987, the story centers on Matthew Campbell (Kyle Gallner), who is being treated for cancer in a hospital in Upstate Connecticut. After seeing the effect the long commute has on Matt, his family rents a nearby house, which they learn was previously a funeral home. They discover a mortuary room in the basement and the family begins experiencing violent and supernatural events that the parents initially blame on stress and hallucinations from Matt’s treatment. Matt also experiences visions from the perspective of a young teenager from the 1920s named Jonah (Erik Berg). Matt contacts a minister he met at the hospital for assistance with his paranormal experiences.

The minister informs Matt that the visions and supernatural encounters are likely a result of the previous occupant’s occult activities (including séances and necromancy). The Jonah character is discovered to be the ghost of a psychic medium involved in the previous owner’s activities and presently bound to control the “spirits” within the house.

The film comes to its climax when Matt learns the source of the haunting and tries to rid the house of the undesired spirits

REVIEW:

There was a time when horror movies were more about the idea of something bad happening or had happened, and didn’t show every gory detail. Don’t get me wrong, I like some gore and stuff just as much as the next guy, but The Haunting in Connecticut just didn’t work for me.

The main reason I say this is because they could have made this more of a psychological thriller, of sorts, rather than a jump scare horror movie. Jump scares are fine every now and then, but after a while they get old and lose their impact, as you can tell by watching this film.

I won’t deny this film its creepiness factor, however. It was quite the creepfest, however, I will go to bed tonight and sleep peacefully, totally forgetting everything about this flick. A good horror flick would have me sleeping with the lights on. Whatever happened to those?

Apparently, this is based on a true story. Now, I don’t know how much of what we saw on film actually happened, but the writing seemed a bit herky-jerky. What I mean by that is they didn’t seem to center on a specific plot point and stick with it. For instance, they want us to feel sorry for the kid that has cancer. They show him numberous time vomiting and in the hospital getting tests and scans and whatnot. Other times, they focus on the family’s money problems. At one point, they shift to the dad’s drinking and what seems like a rift in the marriage. All this can leave a viewer scratching their head and wishing for some point in the story to grab onto and get an understaninding and real feeling for these characters, which we don’t get.

Having said that, I don’t want to make it seem as if these actors don’t do all they can to bring them to life. However, I felt that Virginia Madsen was a bit overdramatic in her role. Of course, being a mother of a ding cancer patient son, the overemotion she showed is acceptable, now that I think about it.

Amanda Crew, who plays the cousin and live-in babysitter seems a bit out of place here. That could be because they didn’t really give her anything until the climax at the end, and even that wasn’t much.

Elias Koteas actually has the juiciest role as the cancer patient preacher who takes the evil out of the house. I was quite impressed.

Martin Donovan was your typical horror movie dad until they threw that random drinking problem in there for one scene. I’m sure they intended to go somewhere with that, but since they didn’t, it seemed out of place, and really took away from his character, for me.

Kyle Gallner actually pulled off being a dying kid with cancer quite well. I did think he did seem a bit emotional at times, but if you were given a certain amount of time to live, I’m sure you’d be the same.

The Haunting in Connecticut ultimately fails to deliver a 1,2 punch that a horror flick should. In this day and age where horror is also about the psychological aspect, it just didn’t deliver. As far as the historical aspect, well, it appears they did that justice, but I didn’t feel sorry for these actors, nor do I feel anything for the people who actually lived through this, which is a shame, because this film should have made me feel something. I can recommend this above average horror flick to those out there that like this kind of stuff, but it just didn’ work for me.

3 out of 5 stars

Blood and Bone

PLOT:

When ex-con Isaiah Bone (Michael Jai White) gets out of prison, he immediately seeks out a room to rent and gets involved in LA’s underground fight scene. Along the way, he destroys the area’s best fighter, who is under the control of a local mob boss named James (Eamonn Walker). When Bone refuses the mob boss’s request to fight on the international circuit, it sets off a powerful battle between the two, amidst some surprising revelations about what drove Bone to get involved with James in the first place.

REVIEW:

In a film I watched a few weeks, ago, Blood and Bone was one of the trailers. I had heard nothing about before or since, but after watching it this evening, I have to say this film should get much more publicity.

The underground fighting scene can be a brutal..er…scene. This picture doesn’t tackle it head on or glorify it, but rather uses it as a plot device.

The fighting here is top-notch. It is not very often that you get actual fighter doing fighting scenes instead of actors and stunt doubles. It is quite obvious that the fighters knew what they were doing, as these scenes were 100% believable and didn’t look like some badly staged WWE event.

I think I would have liked a bit more of the final fight involving the swords or the confrontation with the top international fighter, but hey, beggars can’t be choosy, right?

As far as the plot goes, I would have liked to have a bit more info on Bone, such as why was he in prison, how did he know where Danny’s wife and son were, etc.

Michael Jai White again proves he is not someone you want to mess with. I find him to be underrated, both as an actor and action star. He seems superhuman at times with his kicks and punches and the lack of emotion given to this character actually works.

Eamonn Walker made a good villain. He has the look of a wealthy mob boss-type, but given his body type, the audience was led to think we’d get to see him in the “ring” with Bone. True, they do finally battle, but it is a bit of a letdown from what one would expect.

When all the smoke clears, Blood and Bone is a good action flick, especially for a straight to DVD release, but it does lose the audience’s interest at times, which is probably why it wasn’t released in theaters. Having said that, it was still fun to watch, if for nothing else but the superb fight scenes and touching story. I can highly recommend this to everyone, especially those of you that are into fight flick and UFC/MMA type stuff.

4 out of 5 stars

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

PLOT:

This film takes place in the city of Rome sometime during the reign of Emperor Nero. Pseudolus (Zero Mostel) is “the lyingest, cheatingest, sloppiest slave in all of Rome”, whose only wish is to buy his freedom from his master’s parents, the henpecked Senex (Michael Hordern) and his dominating wife Domina (Patricia Jessel). When he finds out that his master, Senex’s handsome but dim son Hero (Michael Crawford), has fallen in love with Philia (Annette Andre), a beautiful virgin courtesan from the house of procurer (buyer and seller of beautiful women) Marcus Lycus (Phil Silvers) next door, Pseudolus makes a deal: he will get the girl for Hero in return for his freedom. Unfortunately, the virgin has been sold to the great Roman soldier, Captain Miles Gloriosus (Leon Greene), who even now is on his way from conquering Crete to claim her as his bride. Pseudolus blackmails his overseer, Hysterium (Jack Gilford) into masquerading as the corpse of Philia to fool the captain, but things go wrong at every turn.

In the end, the boy gets the girl; Senex’s next-door neighbor Erronius (Buster Keaton) finds that Philia and Miles Gloriosus are in fact his long-lost children; and Pseudolus gets his freedom, a beautiful concubine to be his wife, and a dowry of 10,000 minae, compliments of Marcus Lycus

REVIEW:

I remember the theater department in college putting this show on. Now, it wasn’t this lush musical, but rather an intimate closed setting version. Still, it was quite entertaining and I seem to recall everyone loving it. Such a shame that this film adaptation didn’t work as well.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum appears to be making an attempt to take the classic Roman tale and infuse it with the popular comedy of that time, that of  Mel Brooks. Please note that Brooks has nothing to do with this film. It just seems as if they were influenced by his comedy.

With that formula, I was expecting a laugh riot, but instead, I got a snorefest. Don’t get me wrong, there are some moments here and there.

For instance, the introduction of the courtesans made me sit up and take notice, as did a couple of the jokes here and there, but not much else.

They say this is a musical, but I find it hard to categorize it as such. The songs are few and far between. From what I’ve read, they cut most of them out. That may have been the downfall of this picture. When you take the music out of a musical, you all but strip it of its life force, as this picture proves.

I can’t say that the acting is over-the-top, but at the same time, I can’t say that it was subdued. Other than Michael Crawford, it seems that everyone was trying too hard, and it was painful to watch at times.

When all the dust clear and you wake up from the coma that this film induces when you watch it, it is apparent that it could be much worse. While not great, being boring doesn’t constitute a bad film. however, they should replace funny in the title with boring because this film, while containing a few funny moments here and there, is more on the snoozefest side. I cannot in good faith recommend this, unless you’ve seen the stage play and just want to see what the film interpretation is like.

3 out of 5 stars

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

PLOT:

As a cub, Alex the Lion was called Alakay and was the son of Zuba, the alpha lion. Though Zuba tries to teach Alakay to be a hunter, the cub is more interested in dancing, and is captured by poachers when Makunga, Zuba’s rival, challenges Zuba to a fight for the position of alpha lion. Alakay is forced into a crate, and though Zuba tries to rescue his son, he is shot in the ear and fails. The crate falls into the ocean where it drifts to New York. There, Alakay is renamed Alex and sent to the Central Park Zoo where he grew up, meeting Marty, Melman, and Gloria. The events of the first film are then described through a series of news flashes.

In the present time, Alex, Marty, Melman, Gloria, King Julien, Maurice, the chimpanzees, Skipper and his fellow penguins board a repaired airplane in the hopes of using it to fly back to New York. Mort tries to board the plane but King Julien doesn’t want him on board and locks him outside. The plane takes off and starts with a relaxing journey. Alex later spots Mort clinging to the wing of the plane and waves to him (causing Mort to wave back and fall off the wing into the sea). The plane soon ends up crash-landing in continental Africa when it runs out of fuel. In Africa the animals are amazed to find more of their kind. Alex is reunited with Zuba and his mother. Marty quickly fits in with a herd of zebra who all look, sound, and talk exactly like him. Melman takes on the position of witch doctor amongst the animals. Gloria, interested in finding a mate, attracts the attention of a smooth-talking but shallow hippo named Moto Moto.

Meanwhile, the penguins set about repairing the plane. They carjack several jeeps from New Yorkers on vacation under “Operation Tourist Trap”, leaving the tourists stranded and lost in the jungle. Taking charge of the group is Nana, a tough old woman known for having beaten up Alex before he was first shipped out of New York in the first film, reminding them that they are New Yorkers and survivors.

The next morning Mort washes up on the shore of Africa and sets off to find King Julien, chased by a hungry shark.

Unfortunately, life in Africa is not as wonderful as it first seemed. Makunga, still determined to take the position of alpha lion, reminds Zuba that Alex must complete a traditional lion coming-of-age challenge that he did not complete. Alex, thinking that the challenge is a dance contest (it is actually a fight) competes against the strongest lion, Teetsie (who was recommended by Makunga) and loses quickly. To avoid being forced to banish his own son for failing, Zuba relinquishes his title as Alpha lion. Makunga immediately takes the position and banishes Alex and his family, much to Zuba’s anger at Alex. Marty, meanwhile, begins to feel upset that all of the zebras are exactly the same as him, leaving him with nothing unique. Melman is happy as a witch doctor until he learns that he has the same spot that had apparently caused the previous witch doctor to die. Melman is also upset about Gloria dating Moto Moto, as Melman has secretly loved her for a long time. Gloria goes on a date with Moto Moto, in a lake, and quickly realizes that he only loves her for her body.

The next day, the animals are in a panic when they discover that the watering hole has dried up. Determined to make up for his earlier failure, Alex and Marty decide to risk being shot by hunters and leave the reserve to discover what has happened. The pair discover that the stranded New Yorkers, under the instruction of Nana, have dammed up the river and built a primitive civilization. Alex is subsequently captured by a trap, causing Marty to abandon him to seek help. Meanwhile, Zuba hears from Makunga what Alex did and goes to rescue him.

Back on the reserve, King Julien suggests that the animals sacrifice one of themselves at the volcano to appease the water gods and regain their water supply. Believing that he will die soon, Melman volunteers to be sacrificed. Gloria stops him just in time and Marty arrives to tell them about Alex. The trio, the penguins, and several chimpanzees use the newly-fixed plane to execute a rescue.

However, Alex has already managed to rescue both himself and his father by dancing for the New Yorkers, who quickly recognize him from the zoo. The other animals arrive to pick them up with the plane, and together they all destroy the dam, freeing the water.

Meanwhile, back at the volcano, King Julien complains to Maurice about the sacrifice plan not working (“The science seemed so solid”). Mort turns up and is overjoyed to see King Julien, although Julien is less than thrilled to see him. The shark that was chasing Mort also arrives but falls into the volcano, completing the sacrifice (with Maurice saying “I hope the gods like Seafood”) and causing King Julien to think that he brought back the water.

As the watering hole restores, Makunga angrily reminds Alex and Zuba that all this won’t change anything. However, Alex manages to remove Makunga from power by tricking Nana into attacking him, and she drags him back to the other marooned tourists. Zuba steps down from being Alpha Lion, giving the position to Alex, but Alex in turn refuses, resulting in both father and son becoming the leaders.

The movie ends as Skipper marries a bobble-head hula doll from the plane and leaves on a honeymoon in Monte Carlo with the chimpanzees, and a huge tub of diamonds and gold, leaving Alex, Marty, Melman, and Gloria to happily remain in Africa with Alex’s parents.

REVIEW:

It isn’t very often that a sequel lives up to or surpasses it’s predecessor, but Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa happens to do just that.

The original Madagascar is one of the best animated films I’ve seen to come out of a studio not named Pixar, and the sequel takes everything that worked for that film and improves on it.

When you set out to set a CGI animated film in the lush landscapes of Africa, you better be ready to get the details down to the last..um…detail. The animators did an excellent job of making the audience belive they were in Africa. Did I happen to mention they did this without the use of 3D?

The relationship between the characters is just as magical as the first, though there is a bit of staleness between Alex and Marty. What I mean by that is in the first film Marty got his panties all twisted about something Alex did or didn’t do and the same happens here. If/when they make a third film, they need to not use this plot device a third time. On the flipside, Melman’s love for Gloria and his fear of telling her is still there, but it is cute, so I have no issues with them using it again.

The comedic timing of these actors is great. There are no jokes that would go over a kid’s head, yet at the same time the film doesn’t seem so dumbed down that older viewers would be bored to tears.

The voice casting is terrific. Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sacha Boren Cohen, and Cedric the Entertainer all reprise their roles and are joined by Alec Baldwin, will.i.am, Sherri Shepherd, and the late Bernie Mac. None of them give anything less than their best. Having said that, a herd of Chris Rock zebras is a nightmare!

Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa is good fun for the whole family. The humor, animation, and everything about this flick make it quite enjoyable for everyone. I would have liked for there to have been more of the penguins, but since they have their own show now, I guess I shouldn’t complain. I highly recommend this to everyone, so go check it out!

5 out of 5 stars

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

PLOT:

In the decade of 2080, on a lunar colony called Little America a retired smuggler called Pluto Nash (Eddie Murphy) visits an old friend, club owner Anthony Frankowski (Jay Mohr). Nash tells Frankowski to rename himself and change his singing style and Frankowski decides to rebrand himself Tony Francis. A few minutes later Nash is leaving the toilets when he finds Frankowski’s creditors Gino (Burt Young) and Larry (Lillo Brancato) trying to kill Frankowski by forcing him to ingest battery acid. Nash knows one of the assailants and suggests he should buy the club himself. Nash also reveals that being a nightclub owner has been a longtime wish of his.

Seven years later, “Club Pluto” has become a successful business, frequented by many socialites. Its staff consists of Nash himself, a Hispanic assistant, and an android robot named Bruno, an obsolete model 63 deluxe (Randy Quaid). His obsolete status is a constant gag. Meanwhile, Frankowski has become a stage performer, under the name of Tony Francis, and has become interplanetary famous despite his inability to sing.

One night, Nash is approached by a young woman called Dina Lake (Rosario Dawson), who has become stranded on the Moon and desires to earn money by which to pay for transport to Earth. Because her father “Nicky Sticks” was a friend of Nash’s she seeks help from him by offering her skills as a singer. Nash instead gives her a job waiting on tables at his club and allows her to remain after its nightly closure to the public. During the same night Nash is visited by messengers of a mysterious entrepreneur called Rex Crater who wishes to buy Club Pluto. Nash refuses, and Rex Crater’s minions set off a bomb in the club. Nash, Dina, and Bruno escape and begin to investigate Rex Crater of whom no-one seems to know anything. Nash learns, from Rowland (Peter Boyle) a retired policeman who is a friend of his mother’s, that Rex Crater is never seen outside of a penthouse in the city of Moon Beach and that he was in contact with a geneticist, called Runa Pendankin, who specialized in cloning before her death. Her skills were renowned after she created an entire basketball team using Michael Jordan’s DNA, called the Air Jordans, before human cloning was declared illegal when she left earth and set up on the moon

Nash and Dina visit Doctor Runa Pendankin’s ex apprentice, Mona Zimmer (Illeana Douglas), who operates a cosmetic surgery station. They pose as a married couple attempting to revitalize their attraction for one another by having their figures altered. After viewing and adapting several examples of Zimmer’s bodily shapes and contour styles they pretend to be the police when Zimmer accepts a bribe to do the work without a police permit. Nash reveals that they have come for information regarding Doctor Pendankin’s dealings during her last days. Zimmer, being intimidated by Nash’s bluffs, reveals that shortly prior to her death Doctor Pendankin had worked for or with a Terrestrial criminal who had the initials WZW inscribed on his briefcase.

Nash and Dina return to the hotel and meet Nash’s mother Flura Nash (Pam Grier). They are attacked by Rex Crater’s assassins, who have tracked them to the hotel. After hijacking a limo with a holographic chauffer named James (John Cleese) Nash takes Dina and Bruno to an abandoned mine working which he used as his smuggler’s refuge.

At the hideout, Nash mounts an Internet-based search for any Terrestrial criminal with the initials “WZW”. When this yields nothing, Dina suggests that the initials are in fact MZM, having been seen upside-down by Mona Zimmer. Nash searches for MZM and discovers a criminal called Michael Zoroaster Marucci. Nash suspects that Michael Marucci and Rex Crater are one and the same. He is contacted by his mother who tells him that Rowland has been murdered and that he needs to leave the moon but shortly after the hideout is attacked by Rex Crater’s agents. A chase ensues and the heroes escape using Nash’s patented Rail-hopping technique jumping across a canyon. Their car is damaged and soon after they leave the area it explodes causing them to be presumed dead.

They are eventually rescued and taken to Moon Beach by Felix Laranga (Luis Guzmán) a smuggler who idolizes Pluto Nash. They infiltrate Rex Crater’s casino/hotel. Bruno ends up running foul of a robot slot machine whose lever he breaks off to stop it bothering him. When Bruno is taken away by security Nash sends Dina to get Bruno out and pay for the damages to the robot slot machine. Nash meets with Francis the former owner of Club Pluto who attempts to help them. Nash asks Tony if there was a way up to Rex Crater’s penthouse. While Francis is talking in an elevator he tells Nash that the only way up is to jump onto the top of Crater’s private elevator to the penthouse. Nash asks Tony if there’s a Plan B. When they leave the elevator Rex’s assistant Belcher (James Rebhorn) and some men tell them surrender is Plan B. Nash is stunned by an appliance similar to a Tazer as is Francis. Meanwhile, Dina approaches the security at the place where the robots are locked up. When the guard tells Dina that the repairs on the robot slot machine aren’t done yet. Bruno manages to talk to the guard knocks him out. Just then Dina and Bruno are captured by Rex Crater’s agents and taken to him.

Once woken by Belcher Nash accuses Rex Crater of being Michael Marucci (played by Alec Baldwin). Rex Crater reveals himself to be a clone of Nash, created by Runa Pendankin from Nash’s removed appendix, to act as public face of Michael Marucci’s illegal activities. Crater admits he killed Marucci and Pendankin. When his henchmen arrive and see both Rex and Nash, Rex kills his two henchmen for being “incompetent jackasses” and has their bodies removed. He and Nash fight while the others are uncertain which is which. Nash shoots Bruno leading Belcher (who assumes that Nash would not damage his own robot) to shoot Rex. Nash orders Crater’s men to leave and reveals his identity to Dina by speaking of her employment to him and punches Belcher unconscious. Bruno was wearing a bulletproof shirt and as Crater has Nash’s memories he awakens as he also was wearing a bulletproof shirt. He attempts to garotte Nash, but is thrown through a window and dies.

The movie ends with the heroes celebrating in the rebuilt Club Pluto

REVIEW:

So, everyone the consensus seems to be that The Adventures of Pluto Nash is one of the worst films ever made. I have to say that after watching it this afternoon, I cannot agree.

This film is a tale of ex-con Pluto Nash, who lives in the future on a colonized moon where he runs a nightclub that a wealthy tycoon wants so that he can bring gambling to that part of the moon. Simple plot,right? Then you throw in the singer, fresh off the bus…or shuttle, in this case, who wants/needs a job and because of certain circumstances, has latched onto Pluto, if for no other reason than to make sure she stays alive.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think if you’re going to have a film set on the moon, then you should take advantage of the sci-fi aspect and have some fantastical cratures…androids don’t count. I mean, if you look at something like Total Recall, they have humans, aliens, martins, and everything in-between on that base on Mars. Would it really have been that hard to do the same on Mars?

As an action comedy, this isn’t too bad, though, I think it suffers from trying to be too much in the vein of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise. I don’t blame them for going there, though. Murphy hasn’t has a decent hit since the second of those films.

There could have been more comedy here, for my taste. It seems as if Murphy was too busy trying to play the straight man and Randy Quaid was supposed to be the comic relief. That formula just didn’t gel.

Eddie Murphy is still a funny guy, but this was not the picture to showcase his comedic talents. However, he is still an over the top performer and can handle the action roles.

Rosario Dawson is drop dad gorgeous here, which apparently is all they cast her for, since she didn’t really have any meat to her part, except for being fresh off the shuttle and needing a job.

Randy Quiad and Luis Guzman are great as comic relief.

There are good and bad parts to any film. I don’t see why everyone is so down on this one. I actually liked it. Granted, it wasn’t the best comedy I’ve seen and chances are that if given the chance of watching this or something else, I’d pick the other. However, it was still not a waste of time and worth watching if for nothing else than to prove it isn’t as bad as everyone says it is, because it really isn’t. So, why not give it a try. You may hate it and you may love it.

3 out of 5 stars

Adventureland

PLOT:

t is the summer of 1987 and James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) has just graduated with a comparative literature degree from Oberlin College. He is looking forward to touring Europe for the summer and going to Columbia University for graduate school in journalism when his parents (Wendie Malick and Jack Gilpin) announce they won’t be able to help him financially.

James looks for summer jobs, but can only find one, at Adventureland, a local amusement park in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where his childhood friend Frigo (Matt Bush), who has a habit of punching James in the testicles, works. James is hired immediately by the assistant manager, Bobby (Bill Hader), and is assigned to the games area. He meets some of his co-workers: the dry and sarcastic Joel (Martin Starr), Bobby’s wife and manager of Adventureland, Paulette (Kristen Wiig), Sue O’Malley (Paige Howard), Mark (Mark Miller), Lisa P. (Margarita Levieva), and the park’s repairs technician Mike Connell (Ryan Reynolds), who is a part-time musician and claims to have once jammed with Lou Reed.

James meets another games worker, Emily “Em” Lewin (Kristen Stewart), after she saves him from being stabbed by a disgruntled customer. She later invites him to a party at her house. During the party, Em invites him to join her in the pool. After the party ends, it’s revealed that Em has been having an affair with Connell, although he is married. James goes out to a bar for a drink with Em, and while they are talking at the bar, Em is surprised to learn James is still a virgin. Connell arrives at the bar and Em wants to leave, so they go to one of Pittsburgh’s three rivers close to one of the city’s bridges where James kisses her. The following day, James tells Connell about his strong feelings for Em, which Connell reports to Em. Em later tells James she wants to take it slow.

The next morning, Lisa P. asks James out on a date, but only lets a few people know. After James returns from the date, he learns Em had called to tell him that she regrets having rejected his feelings on their past date. James gives Em some of his marijuana to bake pot cookies to cheer her up. After a pot-induced game-playing streak, Joel is attacked by an angry customer who learns the games are rigged. When Em steps in, the customer pushes her and James defends her by punching him in the balls. The customer’s friend starts chasing James who hides in Bobby’s office, who then scares the customer off by threatening him with a baseball bat. Em tells James that she doesn’t want to lose him.

Joel sees them walking together and decides to quit. James tries to talk him out of it but Joel is angry at James for dating Lisa P. when he already loves Em. James wants to be honest and tells Em about the night he went out with Lisa P. Shocked by his honesty, Em goes to Connell’s house that night to end their affair. Prompted by Frigo, the park’s mentally challenged parking official tells James he saw Em and Connell doing “push-ups without any pants on” in the back of Connell’s car a few weeks earlier. James goes to Connell’s Grandmas house with Frigo and sees Em leaving, having just broken up with Connell. When James confronts Em, she is so shocked to see him there that she becomes tongue-tied and does not explain; James becomes angered by the assumed betrayal, and leaves after Em calls herself an “idiot”. Later, James tells Lisa P. about the affair, but asks her not to tell anyone.

Lisa P. tells her friend Kelly, and soon everybody in the park has found out and Em quits. James is heartbroken and drunkenly crashes his dad’s car into a tree and passes out. The next morning, his mother wakes him up and tells him that he has to pay to fix all the damage. After getting his last paycheck, Connell tells James that he has not spoken to Em since she quit. James doesn’t have enough money to go to graduate school, but heads for New York anyway. In New York City, James waits outside Em’s apartment. She’s surprised to see James waiting for her and is reluctant to talk to him, feeling she has ruined everything between them. James tells her that he sees her in a different way than she sees herself, that he sees the girl who saved him from getting knifed, the girl who stood up for Joel, the girl who introduced him to psychotropic cookies, and the girl who doesn’t make apologies for herself. Touched, Em brings James up to her apartment. Once there, James gets out of his wet clothes, and finds she still has an Adventureland shirt. They kiss and begin to take their clothes off as the film ends, and James presumably finally loses his virginity to Em.

REVIEW:

When this film was first announced, I thought it was some sort of film based on the attraction at Disneyland. I was somewhat right. Adventureland is based on a theme park, but not in Disneyland.

I had heard that while this was a comedy, it was also a critic’s favorite. Translation- it isn’t very funny.

That doesn’t mean this isn’t a good film, though. It does make a few failed attempts at comedy, they just don’t pan out.

This film works best when playing up the drama aspect of these college grads and soon-to-be grads who have to spend their summer working at a cheaply run theme park and their lives.

I have to say this…how does anyone find Kristen Stewart attractive? On top of that, why do studios keep hiring her? She can’t act. Granted, she’s nowhere near as bad as Megan Fox, she’s just a bad actress. When the Twilight franchise ends, chances are so will her career.

As expected, when you put a bunch of young adults together, there is going to be some attraction. Even in a crappy theme park like Adventureland, this is the case.

Jesse Eisenberg is just not leading man material. In Zombieland and Cursed, he was able to pull off being the male lead because the film wasn’t primarily focused on him. However, in Adventureland, it is quite obvious that he is the “star”.  Don’t get me wrong, the guy tries, but he fails. He doesn’t have the charisma to carry a picture…even as a nerdy loser.

I’ve already mention Kristen Stewart’s appeal being overrated and her lack of acting talent. I’m still perplexed how anyone can pick her over Margarita Levieva, though. As Lisa P., she is the goddess of Adventureland. A girl who every guy wants to be with and every girl wishes she were. I will say that she did seem to be a bit Jersey-ish. I don’t know if that was on purpose or not. One thing is for sure, though. I was wishing for more of her and less of just about everyone else.

Sad part of this film is the best acting came from the older cast members. Ryan Reynolds does what he does best, but he gets to flex his acting chops a bit here as he acts as a friend/mentor to James and lover to Em. Bill Hader and Kristin Wiig aren’t as funny as they could be, but I belive that has more to do with the way this film was written, rather than anything they did.

Adventureland fails in the comedy aspect and should not be categorized as such, but they insist this is a comedy. It does however succeed in the teen drama (even though everyone here is in the early 20s or above). The story is a good one, though not great. I wasn’t totally bored, though I was sort of wishing the film would’ve moved along at a faster pace, rather than plod along the way it seemed to do, especially after James gets settled in at Adventureland. I suppose I can recommend this, but I’m not enthusiastic about it.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Drillbit Taylor

PLOT:

Ryan (Troy Gentile) and Wade (Nate Hartley) are two boys starting high school. On the first day of school, Ryan and Wade witness two bullies, Filkins (Alex Frost) and Ronnie (Josh Peck), attack a geek, Emmit Oosterhaus (David Dorfman) by shoving him into his locker. Wade intervenes. Filkins and Ronnie begin endlessly targeting Ryan, Wade, and Emmit.

Wade suggests hiring a bodyguard. They place an ad on the Internet, and end up selecting Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Taylor pretends to be a martial arts expert and mercenary, but is really a homeless beggar who showers at a public beach and eats out of a dumpster. His real intention of becoming their bodyguard was to rob them and use the money to buy a ticket to British Columbia.

Drillbit tells the boys to find some common interests and become friends with Filkins and Ronnie. Ryan challenges Filkins to a rap battle, but gets carried away and ends up humiliating Filkins. As an angry Filkins ambushes Ryan, Wade and Emmit, the boys try using a tactic Drillbit taught them, but it ultimately fails.

The boys are furious with Drillbit’s teachings but Drillbit defends himself. The boys decide to bring him to school as a substitute teacher. Drillbit meets a fellow teacher, Ms. Zachey (Leslie Mann), and they start a relationship.

One morning as his mother (Lisa Lampanelli) is driving him to school, Ronnie sees Taylor taking a shower at the beach; his mother reveals that he is a homeless man. Ronnie tells Filkins. Filkins finds the boys and ends up punching Drillbit.

Later on at Wade’s house, they catch Drillbit’s homeless friends stealing everything in sight. Taylor confesses that his real name is Bob and he went A.W.O.L. from the U.S. Army. Enraged, the boys fire Drillbit, who later recover all of Wade’s possessions and placed them back before Wade’s parents return home. Unfortunately, the boys accidentally let slip about Drillbit. Their parents take things up with the principal, who contacts the police. Filkins plays innocent and charms all the adults.

Filkins continues to ridicule the boys after Drillbit’s disappearance. Tensions finally burst when Filkins interrupts Wade’s attempt to ask Brooke Nguyen out. Without realizing what he was doing, Wade challenges Filkins to a fight.

Ryan and Wade arrive at Filkin’s house that night, where he is hosting a party. Wade and Ryan maintain the fight for awhile until Emmit, who initially refused to fight comes to help.

Drillbit then shows up and tries to talk Filkins down. Filkins punches Drillbit, who continued to take punches without a fight until it is revealed Filkins is not a minor. Drillbit quickly begins fighting and momentarily defeats Filkins. Within minutes, the police arrive and Drillbit flees for fear of prosecution. Filkins wakes up and throws a samurai sword at the boys, but Drillbit catches it. He saves them and ends up losing half of his pinky finger in the process.

Filkins is arrested and shipped off to Hong Kong where his parents are living.

Drillbit gets sent to prison and to the hospital for the pinky finger, but ends up being released within three weeks.

REVIEW:

3 geeky kids about to start high school become te target for the school bully. He makes their life so horrible that they have to go out and hire a bodyguard. The only one they can afford, though, happens to be a bum. I think you can pretty much guess what happens from there on out.

Yes, Drillbit Taylor is about as predictable as what time the church bells ring every hour, but it isn’t without its moments.

First off, the relationship and chemistry Drillbit has with the boys is apparent from the first meeting, and save for the time where they hate him, it gets better and better. The bully actually looks like a bully and his lackey looks like a lackey. Although, neither one of them looks like they belong in high school.

There are plenty of comedic scenes, but they seem sort of…how shall I say this…copied. What I mean by that, is that a lot of the humor between these 3 boys, is similar to the dynamic of the guys in Superbad, only it doesn’t work as well.

The skinny geek wants to be normal. The fat kid wants to be liked by everyone, and the other one just wants the two of them to accept him. This blatant rip-off didn’t work for me, and if this would have been a film based on their characters alone, it probably would not have been a very good one.

However, Owen Wilson, who I think is getting a bit too much exposure for his talents, is the star. He does his thing, playing the kind of character his is known for. Nothing really special about that. Much in the same way Matthew McCounaghey just shows up as himself, Wilson does the same thing and makes screen magic happen.

Danny McBride plays a douche of a friend to Wilson, but given the circumstances his character is under and all, it makes sense, but at the same time, you have to question if he had a moral compass.

Leslie Mann has never been hotter than she is here. Although, just having a random English teacher as a character seemed a bit odd. I think it would’ve made more sense if she would have been the boys’ teacher, but that’s just my opinion.

Drillbit Taylor was actually better than I thought it would be. I was expecting this to be one of those films that tries to hard to be hip and funny. Yes, it has those moments, but the good parts outweigh those. The cast does a great job of becoming likable, except the fat kid. I actually think I liked the bully more. The verdict for this film is that it is worth a viewing or two, but there is no need to rush seeing it.

4 out of 5 stars

Derailed

PLOT:

Protagonist, Charles Schine (Clive Owen), is an advertising executive married to a schoolteacher in Chicago, whose tale is being written down in pencil in a notebook. The introductory scenes reveal Charles’ marriage deteriorating due to both parents having busy careers, further stressed by their adolescent daughter’s poorly controlled diabetes.

While on a commuter train, Charles encounters an alluring woman named Lucinda (Jennifer Aniston) when she pays for his forgotten fare. She is also married and has a daughter, whose wallet picture she shows him. Their mutual attraction grows, and the two begin meeting more frequently. Ultimately, the two are intent on consummating their affair in a shady hotel. While Charles and Lucinda are having sex, an armed man later named as Philippe LaRoche (Vincent Cassel) bursts into the hotel room, beats Charles and brutally rapes Lucinda. Charles and Lucinda agree not to report the crime, as they do not want their spouses to learn of the affair. Shortly after the incident, Charles is blackmailed by LaRoche, who threatens to kill Charles’ family if he doesn’t pay $20,000, which Charles promptly pays. But a month later, the attacker calls again, this time demanding $100,000—and calling from Charles’ house. Charles rushes home to find LaRoche visiting with his wife Deanna (Melissa George) and daughter Amy (Addison Timlin), posing as a business associate and, much to his disgust, being exceptionally pleasant to his family.

Winston Boyko (RZA) is Charles’ co-worker who works in the mailroom; he admits to killing a man while in prison. Charles tells Winston about LaRoche and asks for advice. Winston offers to scare LaRoche away in return for 10% ($10,000) of LaRoche’s demand. As they prepare to approach LaRoche in Winston’s car, Winston shows Charles the shank (make-shift knife) he used in prison; he gives it to Charles for good luck. However, LaRoche is a step ahead, and shoots Winston dead through the window in his car. The murder is almost discovered by a couple of corrupt cops flirting with a prostitute named Candy (Georgina Chapman) and Charles barely escapes being implicated in the murder. He attempts to clean up the crime scene by driving the car into Lake Michigan, but the car gets stuck on the shore and Charles flees at the sound of approaching police sirens.

The next day, Charles is questioned by detective Franklin Church (Giancarlo Esposito), who also happens to be Winston’s uncle, about his coworker’s murder. Later, Charles receives a call from LaRoche: He has Lucinda at gunpoint, and will kill her and his family if Charles doesn’t bring the $100,000 immediately. Charles does so by taking money from an account meant to provide for the daughter’s medical treatment; the payoff complete, he and Lucinda say a tortured goodbye. Later that night, Charles confesses to his wife that he spent the money they had been saving for seven years. Although he is not shown confessing the affair, it is suggested that he does when he says, “I’ll tell you everything. And it’s not just about the money.”

Before meeting with Detective Church to tell the whole story, Charles decides he has to let Lucinda know. He stops by her office, but when he asks for Lucinda, the receptionist points to a black woman who is the actual Lucinda Harris and it is revealed that the woman whom Charles met on the train is really a woman called Jane and she was just impersonating Lucinda Harris. Wildly suspicious that Jane might have been kidnapped again by LaRoche, Charles immediately goes to her condo to check if she is there. Upon arriving, he encounters a real estate agent selling the unit; she hands him a sales brochure whose cover is the same as the “wallet picture” Jane showed him at their initial train ride. Now intent on confronting her, Charles goes to the same train station where they met and waits. After some time, Jane steps out of the train and leaves the station, with Charles in pursuit; she eventually meets up with LaRoche by a shiny black limousine and kisses him amorously: Jane and LaRoche are actually lovers. Charles is dumbfounded, conned and betrayed as it becomes clear that Jane wasn’t actually raped by LaRoche at all. It is also revealed that Jane doesn’t have a daughter and everything she told Charles was a lie.

Charles tracks Jane to the restaurant where they used to have dinner, where he sees her with another married scam victim. Jane calls LaRoche and his henchmen Dexter (Xzibit) to let them know they’re heading for the same hotel. Charles follows them back to the hotel, where she, LaRoche and Dexter are setting up yet another mark. Jane and the guy go inside the room and begin foreplay; Charles waits for LaRoche to approach that room, and knocks LaRoche unconscious before he enters. Charles breaks in with an unconscious LaRoche in his hands; Jane is shocked by Charles’ sudden arrival and denies their acquaintance when asked by her intended victim. Charles shoots LaRoche and demands his money back; Dexter then enters the room and a gunfight ensues in which everyone but Charles is shot and killed. Charles wipes his prints from the guns and slips away. As he’s leaving, he sees his old briefcase; he reclaims it and finds that it still has his $100,000.

The next day, Charles gets busted at work for embezzling the $10,000 that he paid Winston before his murder and is sentenced to six months of community service teaching at a prison. During one of his classes, Charles starts to go through the homework and chooses a blue booklet with “Sidetracked” scribbled on the front in black pen. He reads on and finds out that it is about him: the story at the beginning of the movie. In conclusion, the booklet orders Charles to go to the laundry room—where he finds LaRoche, who survived the gunfight, waiting for him. LaRoche bemoans Jane’s death and taunts Charles, threatening to continue interfering with Charles’ life and family. When LaRoche slyly asks Charles if his daughter is available, Charles assaults LaRoche. During the fight, LaRoche tells Charles how lucky he felt when he realized Charles was teaching the class; Charles then informs LaRoche that he specifically chose this prison, and stabs LaRoche to death with the shank given to him by Winston.

As he leaves the laundry room, Charles encounters Detective Church who tells him that LaRoche killed three people (two in Paris, France, and one in New York). This number is increased to five with the murders of Winston and the other married scam victim. Charles then claims he was attacked and acted in self defense. Church is suspicious, but has no evidence upon which to do anything other than let Charles go, so he can return home to his wife and daughter

REVIEW:

*SIGH* I don’t know what it is, but I may be getting burned out on these suspense dramas. With that said, I don’t want to make it sound like I didn’t enjoy Derailed. I just wasn’t really into the film the way I normally immerse myself in the movies I watch.

This film started off in a manner similar to Unfaithful. This is fine and good if this was going to be some sort of adultery drama, but that’s not the case. This film is about blackmail and extortion…and a little bit of adultery.

It took entirely too long for this film to get going. I mean, it was great developing the characters and all, but there comes a point when you just have to move the story along and that didn’t happen until about halfway through.

There is quite an interesting twist that happens near the end and may very well blind side the audience. I know that I didn’t see it coming, but a the same time it was welcome.

None of the characters in this film are worth caring about, except maybe the daughter, who is suffering from Type I diabetes and has rejected 3 kidneys. Everyone else has some kind of moral issue that just makes them downright unlikable.

These characters are deep, but the most intersting ones, are those that we don’t know much of. Winston, played by RZA, and the criminals, Lafourche and his right hand man, Dexter, played by Xzibit.

Most of the time we are used to seeing Clive Owen kicking butt and taking names and Jennifer Aniston being the total girl next door hottie she is, but this film all but flips the script on them both. Owen doesn’t really takes matters in his hands very well, and Aniston, while still smoking hot, is more of a sex vamp.

Derailed doesn’t really derail anywhere, but the ride isn’t exactly smooth, either. I would have liked for there to have been more of the relationship between Charlie and Winston. Those were some of the best scenes in the film, if you ask me. While I won’t be busting my butt so see this film again, I can recommend it to anyone that is interested in these type of films.

4 out of 5 stars