Little Monsters

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Lonely after moving away from friends, Brian finds himself blamed for several things he apparently has not done. A quart of ice cream is left in the cupboard, Brian’s bike is left on the driveway (causing his father to crash into it on his way to work). Brian insists he is innocent and blames his brother, Eric, who claims to have seen a monster the night before. As revenge, Brian snatches Eric’s lunch and tosses it out the window, hitting Ronnie Coleman, the school bully who boards the bus and antagonizes Brian.

Brian soon befriends a blue-skinned monster named Maurice. Over the course of several nights, Maurice shows him a fun time in the monster world beneath Eric’s bed. It consists of every child’s dream: all the junk food and video games they want, and no adults to tell them what to do. It also has innumerable staircases leading to the spaces beneath children’s beds, from which the monsters cause trouble. Maurice and Brian have fun making mischief in other people’s homes, and Brian feels he has found a true friend at last – although Brian seems to be changing. He learns that he is turning into a monster, as his body parts shrink when the light hits him.

This changes Brian’s mind about Maurice and he saws off the legs of all the beds in the house. Due to Maurice’s failure to convert Brian (all monsters are former children), Eric is kidnapped by Snik (another monster) through the couch bed in the living room. Brian enlists the help of his friends. Gathering an assortment of bright lights, they enter the monster universe in search of Eric. “Zapping” various monsters along the way, they march to the master staircase, where Boy, the ruler of the monster world, resides. Boy offers to let Eric go if Brian agrees to convert, but Brian refuses. The bright lights are destroyed and they are all placed with Maurice in a locked room. They manage to escape by turning Maurice into a pile of clothes (via an improvised light) and slide him through the door crack. They re-arm themselves with more powerful light and destroy Boy, explode Snik (who later puts himself together), and rescue Eric.

The kids appear to have lost until Maurice appears with a flamethrower. He sets Snik ablaze, allowing Brian and the others to escape. Unfortunately, they find that they cannot return home because the sun has risen. Faced with the prospect of turning into monsters if they do not return to the human world by sunrise, the children travel in the monster world from the Eastern time zone to Malibu where the sun has not risen yet and they manage to escape. Brian and Maurice share a heartfelt goodbye, and Maurice gives Brian his bomber jacket to remember him by.

REVIEW:

Please excuse the crudity of this review, it’s been a long day, and I’m half asleep.

Little Monsters is a film that was released when I was a youngster, but I don’t seem to recall it. That happens, though.

So, this film is about a kid who moves around alot and doesn’t really have any friends in his new town (been there, done that, got the T-shirt). His little brother is seeing monsters under the bed, which leads him to ask his big brother to protect him. This is where we meet the monster, Maurice, and the film takes off.

I would love to say that I found this film interesting, bt fact of the matter is, it started out slow, picked up a little steam, then fizzled out before it could really get anywhere.

The good parts of the film happen when Brian meets Maurice. In typical 80s fashion, there is a montage of their pranks and whatnot, as well as some time actually spent letting the audience know what they’re doing, and throw in some bonding between the two of them.

There is also a fairly cute subplot about the slight crush Brian has on his classmate, Kiersten.

On the negative side, this film seemed like it was trying to be  a kid-friendly Beetlejuice. Ironically, I think this one has more strong language.

Monsters aren’t exactly supposed to be the easiest to get along with, with the exception of the ones in Monsters, Inc., of course, but these were just downright annoying, especially Maurice.

 The film’s climax is not the payoff one would expect from a climax. It just serves to throw in some gross out effects and nothing more.

The casting of both Savage brothers is about the only good thing I can say about the cast, though I will say these kids didn’t seem like they were child actors, but rather kids who were literally picked randomly out of classes and told to be in this movie.

When all is said and done, Little Monsters should and could have been better. I’m sure there are some out there who have fond memories of this flick. We all have movies from our childhood that we love, bt everyone else seems to not care for as much. With me, that title falls to The Adventures of the American Rabbit. Having said that, though, I just am not a fan of this film. I wonder if I had seen this as a kid, though, would my opinion be different. Should you check this out? Sure, but don’t go in with high hopes.

3 out of 5 stars

Funny Farm

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Andy Farmer (Chevy Chase), a New York sports writer who moves with his wife, Elizabeth (Madolyn Smith) to the seemingly charming town of Redbud, Vermont, so he can write a novel. They do not get along well with the residents, and other quirks arise such as the Farmers being given funeral bills for a long-dead man buried on their land long before they acquired the house. Marital troubles soon arise from the quirkiness of Redbud as well as the fact that Elizabeth was critical of Andy’s manuscript, while secretly getting her ideas for children’s books published. They soon decide to divorce, and entice the town’s residents with a $15,000 donation to Redbud, as well as a $50 cash bonus to whoever would appear as a friendly small town person in the presence of prospective home buyers visiting the area, which causes everyone in Redbud to join in on the charade of remaking their quirky town into a Rockwellesque small town. The townspeople’s charade dazzles a pair of prospective buyers, who make the Farmers an offer on the house; however, Andy declines to sell, realizing that he genuinely enjoys small-town living. He and Elizabeth decide to stay together and stay in Redbud, much to the chagrin of the locals, who are now angry that they lost their promised money. Ultimately, the mayor does not hold the Farmers liable for the $15,000, as the sale of their house did not occur, which had been the deal that the donation would occur after sale. However, because the people did do their part of appearing like friendly small-town folk, Andy decides to pay everyone in Redbud their $50, which helps to significantly improve his standing among the townspeople. The film ends with Andy taking a job as a sports writer for the Redbud newspaper, and Elizabeth, now pregnant with their first child, has written multiple children’s stories.

REVIEW:

 Don’t we all know at least one person who we believe should be sent to the funny farm? Well, if they were being to sent to the one here in Funny Farm, then they most definitely would be on the verge of having to go the real one.

This film deals with Chase’s character, Andy Farmer, who has just retired from sports journalism, bought a house in the country, and is supposed to be writing a novel. If you’re familiar with Chase’s work before he became the old guy we see on Community these days, then you are more than aware that he is the master of physical comedy. This is no exception.

As with his exploits in National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise, Chase is next to oblivious as to his surroundings, or at the very least, doesn’t care about injuring himself. He also has a unbelievaly hot wife, though this one doesn’t compare to Beverly D’Angelo.

The thing that makes this film enjoyable is that the townspeople are just as colorful as Chase’s character. Those of us that grew up in small towns know that there are some colorful folk to be met. well, this film just takes that to the extreme, if you will.

I mean, seriously, a sherif that hasn’t passed his driving test and a mailman that gets drunk and throws the mail…ok, the mailman part is more believable, but you get the idea.

While I thoroughly laughed for most of this film, it suddenly got all serious and lost my attention when they brought in the whole drama of Chase lying to his publisher about his wife’s book being his, which led to her wanting a divorce. Sure, that was a way to really tap into the comedic talents of the townspeople, but it just didn’t really fit in there for me. I’m for some, it may have been a perfect break, bt not I.

What is my final verdict of Funny Farm? Well, it is no National Lampoon’s Vacation (or any of the others in the franchise), but it does have the same sense of hilarity and Chevy Chase acting like a big buffoon. I don’t highly recommend this, but I do say that it is worth watching if you get the chance.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Love Ranch

PLOT:

 Set in the late-1970s, depicting larger than life personalities living on the edge, ‘Love Ranch’ stars Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci as Grace Bontempo and Charlie Bontempo, the husband and wife team who own and run Nevada’s first legalized brothel.

Their lives are suddenly altered when Armando Bruza, a husky, world famous heavy weight boxer from South America, played by Spanish actor Sergio Peris-Mencheta, is brought to the Ranch to train as part of Charlie’s ever-expanding entrepreneurial empire. Plans quickly go awry when Bruza comes between Grace and Charlie as an unforeseen love triangle develops that erupts into uncontrollable passion and murder.

REVIEW:

 So, I just finished watching what very may have been one of the top 5 worst movies in my life, in The Last Airbender. Now it is time to turn my attention to a bit of drama. This can’t be anywhere near as bad as that was, right?

Apparently, Love Ranch is based on a true story about a brothel owner in Nevada and his wife who runs off with a prize-fighter.

That is the basic plot of this film, but there is also some other stuff going on here, such as the infidelity of the husband with various women in the brothel they own, the development of the relationship between the wife and the boxer, nad then the characterization of each of the girls, as well as the cat fights.

In theory, a film about a brothel, complete with infidelity and the like should be very interesting, right? Well, this one just didn’t seem to cut it. At times, it felt like it was making too hard of an effort to capture that indie vibe, and at others it seemed as if it were just trying to be something like Boogie Nights or 54, which it most definitely isn’t.

The development of these characters is slow, but at least we are allowed to feel or not feel for them, although it sort of feels as if we are forced to feel sorry for Helen Mirren’s character. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll love Helen Mirren no matter what, but the way the tone of this film was leaning, it was almost swayed more towards her side of the story. At least that’s how I saw it.

Speaking of Mirren, everyone is wondering how she ended up in this…a film that is obviously beneath her. Apparently, she is married to the director. So, I guess that explains it. Normally, I love Helen so much that I wold drink her dirty bathwater, but here she looked her age and this script didn’t even let her shine, which is something extremely hard to do, as she and Meryl Streep are arguably the two best actresses around today.

I read somewhere that Pesci look like Johnny Cash here. In the outfits they have him wearing here, as well as his aged face, I can’t argue. Also, his character seems to be very similar to the one he played in Goodfellas, though, arguably not as messed up in the head.

I wish we could have seen more of Gina Gershon. Her character seemed to have given this film a little something it needed, and that is a person of interest.

Love Ranch may sound like it should have been some sort of porn flick, but it is a serious drama. I didn’t have high expectation for this film. As a matter of fact, I didn’t have any, but considering the bas taste left in my mouth by The Last Airbender,  could have watched Megan Fox and Kristen Stewart take acting lessons and it would have been interesting. However, while this film has some moments here and there that make it worthwhile, it never really made me want to keep watching, or watch again, except for the gratuitous Helen Mirren nipple shot a little past halfway through the flick. I’m sure there are those of you out there who will eat this kind of film up, and that’s great. My recommendation, though, is to not waste your time with this below average snorefest.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Last Airbender

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Fourteen-year-old Katara (Nicola Peltz) and her fifteen-year-old brother, Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), are near a river at the South Pole. While hunting, they discover an iceberg that shoots a beam of light into the sky. Inside of the iceberg is a boy named Aang (Noah Ringer) and a flying bison named Appa. Unknown to them, Aang is the long lost Avatar – the only person on the planet able to “bend” all four elements. One hundred years have passed since the Fire Nation has declared war on the other three nations of Air, Water and Earth in their attempt to conquer the world.

Zuko (Dev Patel), an exiled prince of the Fire Nation, is on a quest to find the Avatar and bring him as prisoner to his father, Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis). Seeing the light that appeared from Aang’s release, Zuko and some Fire Nation soldiers arrive at the Southern Water Tribe to demand the villagers hand over the Avatar. Aang reveals himself as he surrenders himself to Zuko on the condition that he agrees to leave the village alone. On the ship, Aang is tested by Zuko’s Uncle Iroh (Shaun Toub) to confirm him to be the Avatar. After being informed that he is to be their prisoner for passing the test, Aang escapes using his glider and flies to his flying bison brought by Katara and Sokka. Aang and his new friends visit the Southern Air Temple and he learns that he was in the ice for a whole century and that the Fire Nation wiped out all Air Nomads, including his guardian, Monk Gyatso. In despair, he enters the Avatar state and finds himself in the spirit world where he encounters a dragon spirit that tells him to make his way to the Northern Water Tribe to master Water Bending.

While at a small Earth Kingdom town controlled by the Fire Nation, Aang’s group is arrested because Katara tries to help a young boy from a patrol. They incite a rebellion by reminding the disgruntled Earthbenders that earth was given to them. Katara is given a Waterbending scroll that she uses to perfect her Waterbending and help Aang learn as they make their way to the Northern Water Tribe and liberate more Earth Kingdom villages in the process.

During a side track to the Northern Air Temple on his own, Aang is betrayed by a peasant and captured by a group of Fire Nation archers, led by Admiral Zhao (Aasif Mandvi), a Fire Nation Admiral appointed by the Fire Lord. However, a masked marauder, the “Blue Spirit”, helps Aang escape from his imprisonment. Zuko is the masked vigilante, and Zhao realizes this. He arranges to kill the prince. Zuko survives the attempt on his life with Iroh’s help. He sneaks aboard Zhao’s lead ship as his fleet departs for the Northern Water Tribe to capture the Avatar. Upon arriving, Aang’s group is welcomed warmly by the citizens of the Northern Water Tribe. Immediately, Sokka befriends the Northern Water Tribe princess, Yue (Seychelle Gabriel). After a few agreements, a waterbending master, Pakku (Francis Guinan), teaches Aang waterbending.

Soon, the Fire Nation arrives and Zhao begins his attack while Zuko begins his search for the Avatar on his own, capturing Aang as he enters the spirit world to find the dragon spirit to give him the wisdom to defeat the Fire Nation. Returning to his body, Aang battles Zuko before Katara freezes him. As the battle escalates, Iroh watches Zhao capture the moon spirit Tui, which with its water spirit counterpart had assumed the form of a fish. Despite Iroh’s pleas, Zhao kills Tui to strip the Waterbenders of their powers and abilities to Waterbend. Yue explains to everyone that the moon spirit gave her life, willing to gave it back as she dies in the process. With the tables turned, Zhao is drowned by Waterbenders after Zuko and Iroh leave him to his fate. Aang uses the ocean to drive the armada back. Aang now fully embraces his destiny as the Avatar as he, Katara and Sokka prepare to continue their journey to the Earth Kingdom to find an earthbending teacher for Aang. The Fire Lord learns of the defeat, and he appoints his daughter Azula (Summer Bishil) to capture the Avatar

REVIEW:

 You know it is never a good sign when they make a live action version of a show, bt can’t even use its real name, for whatever reason. Not that it would have helped any, but there was no reason this film shouldn’t have taken the title, and its rightful name, away from Avatar. After all, it is actually called Avatar: The Last Airbender.

If you’re a fan of the cartoon, then I warn you to stay away from this film as much as possible, as it will rape your memories of that great show. Granted, I only watched a couple of episodes, so I can’t say I was a fanboy, but I do know enough about the series to know that they basically mutated it into this weird abomination.

I’m going to start with the good parts of this film. The special effects are mind-blowing, but given the fact that you have to show people bending elements and such, they had better be, right?

The plot has points that are similar to the show, which is a plus, but the parts that are different are the reason this film fails…correction…EPIC fails!

Now, to the bad parts…let’s start with the worst part of this film…the cast. They are all so wooden. How can anyone actually get behind or against these characters. I was indifferent towards them the whole way. The only one that actually seemed to be showing any real effort was Aasif Mandvi as thee vil Commander Zhao and Shaun Toub and Uncle Iroh. They actually seemed to be in it to win it, whereas everyone else either knew this was a bad film and was just collecting a check, or they were really bad actors. On top of that, they totally changed the chaterization of Sokka. Say what you will, but there needed to be some comic relief in this snorefest, and it just wasn’t there…and was severely missed!

Now, I believe in my review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, I touched on the “whitewashing” of Hollywood. As bad as it was in that film, it is almost as bad here. The only difference is that they didn’t cover them in dark makeup to make them look like another nationality.

The stories on which this is based are of Asian persuasion…Chineese, if I’m not mistaken, so why is it, exactly, they couldn’t find some Asian actors to play these major roles? I do give them credit for at least making the Firebenders all the same race, but the fact that everyone else was white is quite disturbing. It makes one wonder what it is Hollywood has against other races. On top of that, there aren’t any big name actors in this film, so it wouldn’t have been that hard to just pull some kid off the street, have them read the script, and say that they’re Aang. I don’t know, I guess I’m just a sucker for sticking as close to the source material as one can, and when there is deviation from it, I get so infuriated!

The story never seems to gain a real foothold in what it wants to do, and it seems as if they were trying to fit in as much unnecessaryness as they could. On top of that, they had to throw in that love story, which may not have been that bad, except it never really developed.

On top of all this, the audience, or at least I, never really got into the picture. It was like this was made for only those that made it to watch, and everyone else didn’t matter. While that may not have been the case, that was the feeling I got from watching this.

Sure, the final battle was epic, but could you actually keep up with all the characters? This is a complaint that people had about the first Transformers movie, but at least there, the action made up for it. This thing was just a jumbled mess that was more or less thrust upon us to end an otherwise dull movie.

Finally, this thing was released (not sure if ti was filmed ) in 3D. Now, I watched this on DVD at home, so I can’t really comment on whether the effects looked good or bad in “brilliant 3D” (not the sarcasm), but I didn’t see anything that would’ve made me glad I shelled out the extra bucks for the rented glasses.

There is a reason this film won the award for worst picture of 2010…over Sex & the City 2, of all films. It just plain sucks! Is it the worst film ever? No, bt it is pretty bad, especially when you factor in how capable of a director M. Night Shaymalan is. How could he actually put his name on this epic failure, I’ll never know. I warned you fans of this series to stay away, but now I have to implore everyone to not waste your time with this. Trust me, it is not worth it. You’d be better served plucking every hair follicle from your body one by one! Shyamalan wants to comepete the trilogy, bt there is a reason it hasn’t been greenlit (and hopeflly won’t) be, yet.

1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Dumb and Dumber

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) is a simple-minded limousine driver in Providence, Rhode Island, who becomes infatuated with his passenger, Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly), as he drives her to the airport. Mary is heading home to her family in Aspen, Colorado, but leaves a briefcase at the airport. Lloyd notices, and retrieves the briefcase before a pair of thugs arrive to pick it up, dashing ahead of them to snag the briefcase. Lloyd is unable to catch Mary in time, and is left on the ramp of the airport with briefcase in hand (after having run off the end of a jetway).

Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), Lloyd’s roommate, is in the pet grooming business, and has recently spent his life savings converting his van (a 1984 Ford Econoline) into a “sheepdog.” Both Lloyd and Harry quickly lose their jobs due to preventable accidents, and the two are distraught over their situation. Thinking Lloyd is a “professional” hired by the Swansons, or perhaps an FBI agent, the thugs exact revenge on Harry and Lloyd. Shortly after returning home, Lloyd and Harry are alarmed by the thugs at their door, one of them being armed. Believing them to be debt collectors, the two escape through their back window with the briefcase. While the pair are out looking for new jobs, the thugs behead Harry’s pet parakeet. After they return home, Lloyd goes out to purchase some beer and other goods, but ends up getting robbed by “a sweet old lady on a motorized cart.” Unhappy with life in Providence, Lloyd insists to Harry that they should leave their messed-up lives in Providence behind and head for Aspen to return the briefcase to Mary. Harry is at first skeptical of the idea, but agrees to do so after being persuaded by Lloyd. They leave the next day, and the thugs learn of their intentions and pursue the two Aspen-bound men.

On their way to Aspen, Harry and Lloyd have several misadventures. They stop at a diner for food, and Harry gets his burger spat on by a fellow patron named Sea Bass (Cam Neely) after Harry unintentionally threw a salt shaker at him. Harry and Lloyd try to reconcile with Sea Bass and his friends by offering to buy them all beers, but Lloyd decides to put the beers (as well as some other items) on Sea Bass’ account and they manage to escape, but Lloyd really needs to urinate and pees in empty beer bottles only to be briefly pulled over by a police officer (Harland Williams) in Pennsylvania – he mistakes the urine to be alcohol and drinks some. The two then drive off while the cop coughs nauseously. Meanwhile in Aspen, Mary explains that she left the briefcase in the terminal on purpose to be given to the thugs as a ransom to save Mary’s husband who’s been held hostage. Days later, Harry and Lloyd pick up one of the thugs, Joe “Mental” Mentalino (Mike Starr), who says that his car broke down, and the other thug, J. P. Shay (Karen Duffy) follows them. Mental intends to kill Harry and Lloyd by spiking their rest-stop hamburgers with rat poison, but when Harry and Lloyd secretly feed him atomic peppers and mistake the poison for Mental’s ulcer medication, they feed it to him instead, inadvertently killing him. Later that night, Lloyd runs into Sea Bass and Harry accidentally sets his foot on fire while pumping gas. Harry rushes into the stall Sea Bass and Lloyd are in and knocks Sea Bass unconscious. The two wind up separating when Lloyd accidentally takes a wrong turn and drives them to Nebraska instead of Colorado, which inadvertently helps them avoid a road block set up by feds. With the van virtually out of fuel and Harry being infuriated by Lloyd’s mistake, he begins walking home, but Lloyd is able to trade the van for a small scooter, he catches up with Harry and the two proceed to Aspen.

Unable to remember Mary’s last name or locate her in the phonebook, the two spend a cold night in a park. They end up in a scuffle, and in the process discover that the briefcase is filled with the huge sum of cash. The two decide to spend it “responsibly” and keep track of all expenditures with “I.O.U.’s,” but they end up living extravagantly: they check-in at a luxury hotel, buy a Lamborghini Diablo and other gifts. Having found out that Mary will host an international preservation society they have full body makeovers, and get expensive, gaudy candy-colored tuxedos (sky-blue for Harry, tangerine for Lloyd) complete with matching top hats and canes. Lloyd tries to use the money to woo Mary before revealing he has the briefcase, but Mary ends up befriending Harry, whose stupidity she mistakes for intentional humor. Harry and Lloyd both mistake Mary’s friendship with Harry as a romantic interest. This belief leads to friction between the two friends (which includes Lloyd putting laxatives in Harry’s tea).

One night, Lloyd heads to Mary’s house to reintroduce himself and do it better. He also asks her to come with him to his hotel to return the briefcase of money. Shortly after the two are found by the man behind the kidnapping, Nicholas Andre (Charles Rocket), a long time confidant of the Swanson family, who holds the two in the hotel room at gunpoint. When Lloyd reveals all the money is gone, replaced with I.O.U.’s, the kidnapper becomes vexed and handcuffs Mary and Lloyd on the bed. Harry comes in the hotel room and is also put on the bed. As he purchases a one-way airplane ticket to Amsterdam via telephone while holding Mary, Lloyd, and Harry at gunpoint, Harry demands to Andre that he shoot him. Andre does, and as Lloyd is about to be killed, Harry emerges again and shoots a gun at Andre, but misses all the shots. The FBI intercede, and it is revealed that the FBI was aware of Nicholas’ presence and the kidnapping scheme, and equipped Harry with a gun and a bulletproof vest as he entered the hotel. As the Aspen Police arrest Andre and Shay, Mary is reunited with her husband, much to Lloyd’s dismay, who did not realize Mary was married. Lloyd has a vision of himself murdering her husband, but it is interrupted when Mary introduces her husband to him.

With no money, their expensive gifts returned, and their scooter having broken down after leaving Aspen, the two begin to walk home. Along the way, they inadvertently turn down a chance to be oil boys for Hawaiian Tropic bikini models directing them instead to a nearby town. They then walk off together, saying to each other how two lucky guys will get to tour all over the country rubbing down the girls before shows. Harry reassures Lloyd that “Someday we’ll get our break too, we’ve just got to keep our eyes open”. And the two walk away arguing about a “You’re It” game.

REVIEW:

 So, here is it Saturday. If you a loyal reader of this blog and pay attention to when I post, then you are probably wondering why I’m this isn’t a western, sci-fi, or other classic film. Well, there a couple of reasons for that. First, I’m taking a short hiatus from westerns…could be a week, could be 6 months….who knows? Second, I just was in the mood for a good comedy today.

Was this a good comedy, though? I’m not so sure about that, but it did have me rolling on the floor at points.

Dumb and Dumber lets us follow these two…shall we say intellectually challenged…individuals as they attempt to cross the country and return a brief case to its rightful owner. They have no idea what the true purpose of the briefcase is, though.

This is one of those gross out comedies that was so prevalent back in the mid-90s. If you’re easily offended by fart jokes, or a guy sitting on the toilet, etc., you best not even bother watching this film. Having said that, I was expecting more. Hard to belive, but I actually found this quite tame.

The comedy seemed to be gross out or nothing. What I mean by that is that if they were trying to push the proverbial envelope and gross the audience out, then they weren’t really doing a good job with the comedic aspect of this film.

Now, maybe I’ve just lost my funny bone or something, but most of this film did not make me laugh, when by all means, it should have at least garnered a chuckle. I did find the gross stuff funny, but who wouldn’t? However, the few funny lines that weren’t related to the gross stuff did nothing for me, except for the final scene.

Jim Carrey was obviously cast here for two reasons. The first being that this is the kid of role that he could, and does shine in. The other being they wanted to capitalize on his fame from the Ace Ventura movies.

Jeff Daniels plays a nice foil to Carrey’s “dumber” character, but there are times you wonder which is which.

Lauren Holly was perfectly cast as the object of their affections, but switching her out with Karen Duffy wouldn’t have hurt, that’s for sure.

The antics that these guys get into going across the country is what truly gets the film moving, but it seems that when they get to Colorado, things hit a brick wall and they are more or less relegated to meaningless gags to fill up some time until the truth can come out about the briefcase.

Dumb and Dumber isn’t the best Carrey comedy I’ve seen, but I see why people love this film so much. Having said that, I won’t tarnish it by even thinking about that sequel/prequel. For those of you, like me, that are just in the mood for a good comedy, check out Dumb and Dumber and forget about everything else that might be going on in your life. You know what they say, “Laughter is the best medicine!”

4 out of 5 stars

Life With Father

PLOT:

In late nineteenth century New York a Wall Street broker likes to think his house runs his way, but finds himself constantly bemused at how much of what happens is down to his wife. His children are also stretching their wings, discovering girls and making money out of patent medicine selling. When it comes to light he has never been baptized and everyone starts insisting he must do so, it all starts to get a bit too much.

REVIEW:

With the death of Elizabeth Taylor this week, I figured it was the opportune time to watch one of her earlier films, especially since this has been on my list for quite some time.

Life With Father apparently is the true story of Clarence Day. Yeah, I’d never heard of him, either, but apparently this guy was famous enough to have a statue erected in his honor.

The plot of this film revolves around Clarence, who is a very staunch traditional sort of man and his resistance to change, even though his family is ready to move on to bigger and better things.

Now, that is an oversimplification of what happens in this picture, but it is the gist of it.

The character, Clarence, reminds me of the dad from Mary Poppins, only more extreme. This guy is borderline caveman, if you ask me…not someone I particularly care for.

The children are your typical kids who fear, yet respect their father. Unfortunately, there is nothing memorable about these characters.

As a matter f fact, that goes for the whole cast. With the exception of a very unlikable William Powell as Clarence Day, the whole cast just seems rather flat.

Yes, I know you would like for me to say that Elizabeth Taylor’s star outshined everyone in this picture, but I can’t say that, mainly because she’s only a supporting character. However, we must remember that this one of her first roles, so the greatness that Liz achieved in films such as Cleopatra, is still on the horizon. Everyone has to start somewhere, and this was one of those that got her started.

They say this film is a comedy, but I didn’t really find anything funny about it. I’m not really sure if this is because it wasn’t funny, or if it should have just been labeled as a drama, but it is what it is, and that is not funny.

Is this film any good? Well, I’ve sen much better. However, my main reason for even bothering to watch this flick was to honor the memory of Elizabeth Taylor. So, it served its purpose. However, if you’re wondering what I thought of this as an actual film, then I have to say that it really isn’t worth the trouble. Strangely enough, this film did win nomination for Academy Awards for Best Actor in a Leading Role (William Powell), Best Art Direction-Set Decoration, Color, Best Cinematography, Color and Best Music, Scoring of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture. So, it does have some credibility. I just didn’t care for it. You’ll have to be the judge for yourself, though.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

All-Star Superman

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Dr. Leo Quintum and his P.R.O.J.E.C.T. Team are exploring the Sun when they are sabotaged by a booby-trapped, genetically enhanced Lex Luthor clone. Superman saves the day, but it turns out that his body has been overdosed with solar radiation that not only gives him new powers but now is slowly killing him. Luthor, having orchestrated the death of Superman while under the employment of General Sam Lane, is arrested thanks to Clark Kent’s article and sentenced to death.

Deciding to keep his impending death a secret from the public, Superman reveals his secret identity to Lois Lane because he wants to spend his remaining time with her. Though Lois was unable to accept it after years of him keeping the truth of his identity as Clark Kent from her, Superman takes her to the Fortress of Solitude. During this visit, Superman’s secretive behavior and indirect exposure to alien chemicals heightens Lois’ paranoia to the point of attacking Superman with a kryptonite laser. However, seeing the radiation has now made him immune to green kryptonite, Superman is able to calm her down and reveals that his secret was that he has been preparing her birthday present: superpowers for 24 hours.

Now as a Superwoman, she and Superman stop an attack by Krull in Metropolis just as Samson and Atlas arrive. Flirting with Lois, and showing a newspaper that reads “Superman Dead, by Clark Kent”, Samson is revealed to be the one who stole jewels from an Ultra-Sphinx that he gave to Lois. Answering the Ultra-Sphinx’s unanswerable question to save Lois, Superman then defeats Atlas and Samson in a double arm-wrestling match before spending the rest of the day with Lois as her powers fade. Later, Kent meets Luthor for an exclusive interview at Stryker’s Island. However, Superman’s energy causes the Parasite to free himself and causes havoc in the prison. Clark stops him while not revealing his secret identity, with Luthor disclosing his respect for Clark as both a journalist and a regular person. He then reveals a tunnel from his cell for Clark to escape with the help of Nasthalthia, his delinquent niece. Though Clark asked, Luthor states that he has no desire to escape as long as Superman dies before he does.

Two months later, after taking the city of Kandor to a new planet to thrive, Superman finds Metropolis has been repaired with Kryptonian architecture, and Earth has been protected by Bar-El and Lilo, Krypton’s first astronauts, survivors, and Superman’s relatives. But, to his dismay, the two have less altruistic goals and intend to turn Earth into a new Krypton. However, Bar-El and Lilo begin showing signs of illness: the two had passed through the remnants of Krypton and thus were saturated with kryptonite. To save them, Superman places the two within the Phantom Zone at their request until a cure can be found.

After settling his affairs in order, Superman proceeds to finish his last will and testament. By then, having reprogrammed one of Superman’s robots to get the formula he used to give Lois super powers, Luthor succeeds in making a super serum for himself and tricks the executioners in having him drink it. Escaping, he meets up with Nasthalthia below one of his lairs to continue his plans. Superman finishes off his final entry in the Fortress of Solitude when he learns of Luthor’s secret ally: Solaris, the tyrant star computer, which betrayed Luthor by tampering with Earth’s sun and turned it blue. With his robots, Superman engages Solaris in space. All seems lost until Superman’s pet Sun-Eater sacrifices itself to weaken the tyrant star which allows Superman to destroy Solaris. Clark returns to the Daily Planet, very ill, to submit his article until he falls dead. As the staff tries to save him, the super-powered Luthor arrives and attempts to kill Lois when Clark comes to and fights off Luthor with a gravity gun. Though the gun is destroyed and he is powerless against Luthor, Superman actually intended the weapon to warp time for Luthor so that his powers burn out early. As his powers fade, Luthor briefly sees the world as Superman sees it, and weeps as he gains a small measure of understanding of the universe and everyone in it before realizing his spare serum was taken by Superman who destroyed it.

With Superman’s body starting to turn into pure energy, he and Lois embrace one final time and he proclaims his love for her once and for all. He takes off, flying into the Sun as his solar-radio consciousness begins to overtake his body as he enters the Sun and thus saves the day for the last time. One year later, a memorial service is held for Superman. Only Lois does not attend, believing Superman is not dead and will return after he is done fixing the sun. Quintum visits Luthor in his death row cell. Now enlightened from his ordeal and accepting his impending death, Luthor presents Quintum with the only thing that could redeem him for his actions over the years, a formula to recreate Superman’s genetic structure through a healthy human embryo. Inside the Sun, Superman, now a solar being, is activating and making machinery within.

REVIEW:

I actually hadn’t planned on watching another superhero flick this week, since Netflix surprised me with Marvel Knights: Black Panther last week. Well, they did it again this week with All-Star Superman!

I’m actually not quite sure I like this entry into the DC Animated Universe. I can’t really put my finger on it, but this film just didn’t quite capture me the way previous entries such as Wonder Woman, Green Lantern: First Flight, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Superman: Doomsday and Justice League: The New Frontier managed to do. I don’t know if was because this film was darker and more serious or what, but it just didn’t make me want to rush out and buy it or read the original comic, that’s for sure.

The film has a simple premise that revolves around Superman being tricked by Luthor to rush into space and save a spaceship from crashing into the sun. In the process, he is exposed to so much solar radiation that while his powers have increased, he will also soon die. The rest of the film is spent with him tying up the proverbial loose ends, if you will, and then concludes with the tradition confrontation between hero and villain.

Doesn’t that sound like an exciting film? It really should have been, but much like the Man of Steel’s live action incarnations, this film suffered from a lack of action. I’m sorry, but I want to see Superman throw down with some baddies. I know he’s a peaceful guy, and I respect that, but there comes a point where you can’t just have him holed up in the Fortress of Solitude sewing clothes all day, which is something he actually does here.

Speaking of the costume, what was the deal with the half cape Superman was sporting here? It reminded me of Captain Marvel (Shazam!). Just my opinion, but I think Superman should always have a full cape. I’m just saying.

While I’m on the design thing. Not a fan of the way he was drawn. He seemed like Lex Luthor from the 90s animated series and Li Shang from Mulan. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but the heroic look that one would expect Superman to have just wasn’t there, at least for me.

Aside from the design, though, the animation was pretty good. I’m always glad to see hand drawn animation, especially done at such a high level (even if there were obvious computer generated images).

The few action scenes that were in this film weren’t half bad, and kept the film from falling into some kind of morose, dark, brooding territory reserved from the heavier Batman stuff.

Speaking of the Caped Crusader, I do belive this is the first Superman movie I’ve seen since Superman Returns that he doesn’t appear in.

I don’t want to make it seem like I totally hated this film, because I really didn’t. I just expected something…more.

The voice casting was quite interesting, to say the least. As much as I applaud them for going after actors that are known, as opposed to your traditional voice actors, I have to wonder if they are only doing this in an effort to bring in some who wouldn’t otherwise watch. I’m sorry, bt I don’t know how well that would work. I mean, Christina Hendricks is known for 2 things…neither of which is her voice. That isn’t to say she doesn’t do a decent job as Lois Lane.

I’ve never read this particular comic/graphic novel, so I don’t know all the details, just what was told to me by my Superman fanatic friends, but it just seemed as if they were trying to shove too many characters in here at one time. Granted, from what I hear, this series lasted for about 3 years, so that was a lot of ground to cover in 71 minutes. Having said that, it seemed as if they were trying too hard to fit all the characters in that they could.

I won’t complain about Parasite or Solaris, they actually made sense in their short window of screen time, though Polaris apparently has a bigger role in the comics. My beef is with the underdevelopment of the characters of Atlas and Samson and even more so with Lilo and Bar-El.

To me, it just seemed as if they could have been developed a bit more, instead of just randomly showing for a few minutes and then forgotten just as soon as you can snap your fingers. Viewers may have differing opinions on this, and that’s fine, but I’ve said my piece.

Don’t even get me started on how disjointed this whole thing seemed to be. It was like a series of episodes with little to nothing connecting them, but they still smooshed them together in hopes of making a S’more (pardon the bad analogy, but you get the idea).

In conclusion, All-Star Superman wasn’t what I was expecting, but it was a decent entry into the DC Animated Universe. I won’t be rushing to see it again, but that doesn’t you shouldn’t check it out, just don’t expect too much. Personally, I’m hoping their next outing, Green Lantern: Emerald Knights is makes up for this setback. Feel free to check out my friends’ review over at Fortress Takes for another take on this disappointment.

3 out of 5 stars

Vice Raid

PLOT:

Police Sgt. Whitey Brandon works for the Vice Squad and is determined to beat corruption in the city. He encounters Carol Hudson who is working as a model. She is sent to frame him and succeeds. Carol’s sister comes to visit and is raped and bashed by a hoon who knows Carol. Carol, desperate for revenge, enlists the help of Brandon to fight the thugs who attacked her sister.

REVIEW:

As much as I love classic cinema, it may be hard to belive that I have never seen one that stars, or even has, Mamie van Doren in it. This is why I decided to check out Vice Raid this afternoon, so that I can rectify that situation immediately.

If you’re like me, then you more than likely have never even heard of this film, so let me fill you in on what it is about.

In the era in which this film was made, it appears that transporting working girls across state lines was illegal…not sre if that is still the case today, though. As with any crime drama, the crooks have someone on the force working for them, but are having trouble with that one cop who can’t be bought. This is where they bring in Mamie van Doren’s character, so that she can frame him. After this is done and he is out of a job, a series of events happens that lead to her turning on the crime family and seeking out the aid of the cop.

That’s a cliffnotes version of the film, but you should be able to get the idea.

The good parts about the film involve the curvaceous Mamie van Doren. While she’s no Marilyn, and definitely no Jayne, she does have some acting chops to go with those killer curves of hers. This is a character with some depth to her, and I honestly don’t think her bombshell contemporaries could have pulled it off.

One would think that this is a boring flick. Truth be told, if you can’t look past the black and white classic cinema aspect of this film, then you shouldn’t be watching it, anyway. No, it isn’t boring, but at the same time, there aren’t any shootouts or violent confrontations, if that’s what you are looking for.

The bad parts involve the pacing of this film. The literally spend an hour developing on the cop, played by Richard Coogan, and touching on the “dilemma” of prostitution, as well as introducing other characters, none of which get as much fleshing out as Coogan’s, not even Mamie.

Another part that I didn’t seem to care for was the film’s climax. Van Doren’s sister is raped and beaten and suddenly she turns to the cop and he takes her in just like that. I know that in a situation like that you’ll do whatever it takes. That’s fine and dandy, but it just seems like they could have alluded to a switch early on, or gradually have her showing more and more favoritism, if you will, towards him.

On that rape note, it may seem like an everyday thing nowadays, but remember that this film was released in 1960. Rape wasn’t as willy nilly a topic as it is today, nor was it portrayed as freely, so the fact that it played sch a prominent role in this film is something to be mentioned.

I wasn’t quite what to make of this film when it started, especially since Netflix says this is a B-movie comedy. B-movie I can see, bt comedy? If this was meant to be a comedy, then it failed, because I didn’t laugh one bit. I think that was just some bad categorizing, though.

Vice Raid is one of those classic films for those of us that are really into the classics, and not for those that think every classic film is like Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, etc. I’m sure for those of you that are into crime dramas, you’ll enjoy this, but for the general viewing public I would only recommend with caution. Those who are spoiled by today’s violent, special effects laden, overpriced movies will be severely disappointed. For the rest of us, watch and enjoy.

3 out of 5 stars

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

When Halloween and Friday the 13th fall on the same day, “The Killer” begins a murder spree. The first victim, Screw, dies from electrocution via a bug zapper. The killer, feeling disappointed that he wasn’t the cause of her death, lights up a cigarette, leading to the melting of his Jason Voorhees mask into a Scream mask. The next day, Dawson (a “new kid”) signs up to Bulimia Fall High School, meeting his set of friends for the film (Boner, Slab, Martina and Barbara) who later accuse Dawson of being the killer himself after discussing Screw’s murder.

A reporter named Hagitha Utslay immediately claims Dawson is the Killer and has already written a pop-up book called “Dawson is a Murderer” that has become a best-seller. Meanwhile, security guard Doughy is investigating the murders due to the fact that The Killer’s costume was stolen from the mall.

The students then begin receiving notes from The Killer, each one bearing a message telling them that I Know What You Did Last Summer (except Dawson initially). They each flashback to a time in which they struck a deer while joyriding and dumped its body at the docks, this reveals the connection between the events and their link with the “new kid”.

They decide to hide, Slab proposes his house in the abandoned woods after school. As they leave, Dawson tells the group to “watch their backs” until then. As they leave the table, various signs are stuck to their backs, including a target, and one reading “I love Stab Wounds”.

Each character is killed but failed to be killed by the killer. The killer is revealed to be Doughy’s evil twin cousin Hardey. He is then shot by Hagitha. At the end, he comes back to life and is shot to death by Doughy, ending his murder spree. As the credits end, “Bulimia Falls has a new and improved killer” that kills his victims with ninja like tactics.

REVIEW:

There was a time when spoofs ruled the movies, especially if they were horror spoofs. How else do you explain why Scream and Scary Movie have become sch lucrative franchises? 

Well, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (is that title long enough for you?) follows the same track and turns everything we know about horror flicks into one big long joke (which is what they really are anyway, right?)

Much in the same way the first two entries in the Scary Movie franchise did, this film borrows heavily from the plot of I Know What You Did Last Summer, but also spoofs Scream, which is a spoof in itself.

The problem with this film isn’t in the plot, though, but rather the fact that they seem to be trying too hard. What I mean by that is they shoehorn in so many puns and references that after a while it just stops being funny…almost to the point that its annoying.

Normally, I’m all about spoofs, but this one just didn’t seem to do anything for me. With the exception of the girl of my dreams since I first saw her on Saved By the Bell, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Tom Arnold, and an interesting character played by Coolio (the couple of minutes we see him on the screen), this cast just seems to be stiff and not sure if they want to play this serious or go all out for laughs.

I guess when all is said and done, audiences have been spoiled by such great spoof comedy like Airplane. Long titles don’t necessarily mak a good film. Anyone remember Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood? While this film has its moments, it just never develops even footing, and loses steam for most of the second half, which cases the audience to not even really care about the ending. I can’t, in good faith, recommend this to anyone, but I can say that it is not horrible.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Goodfellas

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) admits, “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster,” referring to his idolizing the Lucchese crime family gangsters in his blue-collar, predominantly Italian-American neighborhood in East New York, Brooklyn in 1955. Wanting to be part of something significant, Henry quits school and goes to work for them. His Irish-American father, knowing the true nature of the Mafia, tries to stop Henry after learning of his truancy, but the gangsters threaten the local postal carrier with dire consequences should he deliver any more letters from the school to Henry’s house. Henry is able to make a living for himself, and learns the two most important lessons in life: “Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut,” the advice given to him after being acquitted of criminal charges early in his career.

Henry is taken under the wing of the local mob capo, Paul “Paulie” Cicero (Paul Sorvino) and his associates, the lethally paranoid Jimmy “The Gent” Conway (Robert De Niro), who loves hijacking trucks, and the psychotic Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci), an aggressive armed robber with a hair-trigger temper. In late 1967 they commit the Air France Robbery, marking Henry’s debut into the big time. Enjoying the perks of their criminal life, they spend most of their nights at the Copacabana with countless women. Henry meets and later marries Karen (Lorraine Bracco), a Jewish girl from the Five Towns. Karen is initially troubled by Henry’s criminal activities, but is soon seduced by his glamorous lifestyle. When a neighbor assaults her for refusing his advances, Henry pistol-whips him in front of her. She feels aroused by the act, especially when Henry gives her the gun and tells her to hide it.

On June 11, 1970, Tommy (with Jimmy’s help) brutally beats and kills Billy Batts (Frank Vincent), a mobster with the Gambino crime family, for insulting him about being a shoeshine boy in his younger days. However, Batts was a made man, meaning that he could not be touched without the consent of his Gambino family bosses. Realizing that this was an offense that could get them all killed, Jimmy, Henry, and Tommy need to cover up the murder. They transport the body in the trunk of Henry’s car and bury it upstate. Six months later Jimmy learns that the burial site will be developed, forcing them to exhume the decomposing corpse and move it.

Henry begins to see a mistress named Janice Rossi (Gina Mastrogiacomo), setting her up in an apartment. When Karen finds out, she goes to Janice’s apartment building to confront her, but is not let in past the front door. She then confronts Henry, points a revolver at his face, and threatens to kill both of them, demanding to know if he loves Janice. Karen cannot bring herself to kill him and an enraged Henry threatens Karen with the gun and says he has bigger concerns, like being murdered on the streets. Henry goes to live in the apartment with Janice. Paulie soon directs him to return to Karen after completing a job for him; Henry and Jimmy are sent to collect from an indebted gambler in Florida, which they succeed at after beating him. However most of the crew are arrested after being turned in by the gambler’s sister, a typist for the FBI.

In prison, Henry sells drugs to support his family on the outside. Soon after he is released in 1978, the crew commits the infamous Lufthansa heist at John F. Kennedy International Airport. Henry further establishes himself in the drug trade after seeing its high potential for profit, and convinces Tommy and Jimmy to join him. This is despite Paulie’s warning him to not deal in drugs. Things turn sour when the participants in the Lufthansa robbery ignore Jimmy’s command to not immediately buy expensive things from their share of the stolen money; Jimmy has them all killed one by one. Then Tommy is killed for the murder of Billy Batts, after being fooled into thinking that he is going to be made.

By 1980 Henry is on the cusp of making a big deal with his drug associates in Pittsburgh. A nervous wreck from his cocaine usage and insomnia, he runs around trying his best to get things organized. However, this does not stop him from being caught by narcotics agents and sent to jail. On his release Karen tells him that she flushed his hidden drugs – $60,000 worth of cocaine – down the toilet to prevent the FBI agents from finding it during their raid. Henry and his family are now virtually penniless. Paulie feels Henry betrayed him by dealing in drugs. He gives Henry $3,200 but breaks all association with him. Henry realizes he, himself is to be hit when Jimmy asks him to perform a hit in Florida. Henry decides to enroll in the Witness Protection Program to protect himself and his family. Forced out of his gangster life, he now has to face living in the real world: “I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook”.

Titles explain that Henry was subsequently arrested on drug charges in Seattle, Washington but has been clean since 1987. Paul Cicero died in Fort Worth Federal Prison of respiratory illness in 1988 at 73. Jimmy, as of 1990, was serving a 20-year-to-life sentence in a New York State prison

REVIEW:

When I was growing up, I watched Animaniacs every day. One of my favorite segments was the Goodfeathers, which was obviously based on this film. It may be hard to believe, but this is my first time seeing this flick. Now that I have, I bet that if I were to go back and watch those old episodes, some of the jokes and references would make much more sense.

So, it appears that Goodfellas is based on a true story. I did not know that. Obviously, the names have been changed to create “characters”, but what they did is still the same.

The plot of this film is pretty much the life of one Henry Hill and his life with the Mafia, for lack of a better term. Hill encounters a slew of colorful characters throughout the film, including his two best friends, Tommy and Jimmy (who could not be more opposite of each other). As the film progresses, Henry gets sent to prison and gets into drug trafficking which leads to a pivotal choice at film’s end.

Initially, I had avoided this film because I thought it was just another heavy drama, but it turns out that this film was actually quite interesting, despite its lengthy runtime (2hr 26 min).

The pacing of the film is just what it needs. They don’t spend too much time on any one aspect of their lives, and things keep moving forward until, before you know it, the film is over, and you’re wishing for more.

I would have liked for there to have been some more gunplay, rather than just random shootings, but that could just be my obsession with westerns clouding my brain and wanting it to happen in every movie I watch these days.

Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, and Joe Pesci have great chemistry together. De Niro and Pesci’s characters are polar opposites of each other and Liotta is the happy medium between them. All 3 give great performances.

Paul Sorvino is the consummate mob boss. As I was watching him, I couldn’t help but think they based Fat Tony from The Simpsons partially on him. I could be wrong, though.

Lorraine Bracco was quite the looker back in the day…and still is. She also had some serious acting chops to go with those looks. I wish there could have been more of her, but hey, beggars can’t be choosy, right?

Let the debate begin. Which is the better crime family movie…Goodfellas or The Godfather (you can substitute parts II or III, if you prefer). For me, The Godfather is the better picture, but Goodfellas is more entertaining. That’s not a knock against either picture, just a statement of my opinion.

Should you watch this film? Well, of course! You are sure to enjoy the ongoing escapades of these characters and find yourself wondering hos much of this actually happened and how much was made up. This a definitely a must see before you die film!

5 out of 5 stars

Carmen Jones

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Set during World War II, the story focuses on Carmen Jones, a vixen who works in a parachute factory in North Carolina. When she is arrested for fighting with a co-worker who reported her for arriving late for work, foreman Sgt. Brown assigns young soldier Joe to deliver her to the authorities, much to the dismay of Joe’s fiancée Cindy Lou, who had agreed to marry him during his leave.

While en route, Carmen suggests she and Joe stop for a meal and a little romance, and his refusal intensifies her determination to seduce him. When their army jeep ends up in the river, she suggests they spend the night at her grandmother’s house nearby and continue their journey by train the following day, and that night Joe succumbs to Carmen’s advances. The next morning he awakens to find a note in which she says although she loves him she is unable to deal with time in jail and is running away.

Joe is locked in the stockade for allowing his prisoner to escape, and Cindy Lou arrives just as a rose from Carmen is delivered to him, prompting her to leave abruptly. Having found work in a Louisiana nightclub, Carmen awaits his release. One night champion prizefighter Husky Miller enters with an entourage and introduces himself to Carmen, who expresses no interest in him. Husky orders his manager Rum Daniels to offer her jewelry, furs, and an expensive hotel suite if she and her friends Frankie and Myrt accompany him to Chicago, but she declines the offer. Just then, Joe arrives and announces he must report to flying school immediately. Angered, Carmen decides to leave with Sgt. Brown, who also has appeared on the scene, and Joe severely beats him. Realizing he will be sentenced to a long prison term for hitting his superior, Joe flees to Chicago with Carmen.

While Joe remains hidden in a shabby rented room, Carmen secretly visits Husky’s gym to ask Frankie for a loan, but she insists she has no money of her own. Carmen returns to the boarding house with a bag of groceries, and Joe questions how she paid for them. The two argue, and she goes to Husky’s hotel suite to play cards with her friends. When she draws the nine of spades, she interprets it as a premonition of impending doom and descends into a quagmire of drink and debauchery.

Cindy Lou arrives at Husky’s gym in search of Carmen just before Joe appears. Ignoring his former sweetheart, he orders Carmen to leave with him and threatens Husky with a knife when he tries to intervene. Carmen helps Joe escape the military police, but during Husky’s big fight, Joe finds Carmen in the crowd and pulls her into a storage room, where he begs her to return to him. When she rebuffs him, Joe strangles Carmen to death just before the police arrive to apprehend him for desertion.

REVIEW:

 A few years ago, I watched The Wiz, a take on the classic tale of The Wizard of Oz, but with an all African-American cast. While that film wasn’t near the masterpiece that the original The Wizard of Oz was, the songs kept it interesting, not to mention the fact that it Michael Jackson and Diana Ross. Unfortunately, though, Carmen Jones doesn’t have any real star power to mask its shortcomings.

This film is a take on Bizet’s iconic opera, Carmen. They don’t really change much of the story, from what I can tell. Well, let me take that back, they don’t change the idea behind much of the story. Everything is still the same, but its just modernized (this was released in 1954, with the original stage production starting in 1943).

Each of the songs is taken from Bizet’s score, but they cover up his gorgeous music with, and I use this term lightly, words. What I mean by that is…take for instance the song that everyone knows, or has at least heard from Carmen, “Habanera”. In the film, this is sung by Carmen and is renamed “Dat’s Love”. Yes, I said dat.

Believe it or not, that isn’t the worst tune, but if I keep going on about that, this review is likely to turn into a rant. Just know that, the music is 50/50 here. Bizet’s music is still here and as great as it has always been, but it is unnecessarily covered up by these words. I really have to wonder what Oscar Hammerstein was thinking when he penned this libretto!

Now, I could sit here and praise this film, but other than its use of an all African-American cast, I really didn’t see anything to make me want to say that it was great.

The acting was so-so, but Dorothy Dandridge, as Carmen was a standout, for most of the film. Harry Belafonte seemed out of his element, or at least that’s how he came off to me. Maybe that’s just his mannerism on the screen.

The rest of the cast is just there filling out the necessary supporting roles. None of them really bring anything to the table.  This is really a shame, when you consider that there is some talent in the supporting roles, including Pearl Bailey, but it is what it is.

In college, I studied the opera, Carmen, and despite not being able to understand the foreign language, found it interesting. I did not get that same feeling with Carmen Jones. There were times where I felt this thing was an insult to Bizet, and others where I was constantly looking at my watch and seeing how much time was left before it was over. This is really a shame because this should have been a really great film. Instead it just ended up as a subpar, below average film that, for me, is forgettable. Sure, this is one of the most  ”culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” (according to the Library of Congress), and it gets my respect for that, but it just wasn’t up my alley.

3 out of 5 stars

In Old California

PLOT:

Boston pharmacist Tom Craig comes to Sacramento, where he runs afoul of local political boss Britt Dawson, who exacts protection payment from the citizenry. Dawson frames Craig with poisoned medicine, but Craig redeems himself during a Gold Rush epidemic.

 

REVIEW:

 

I must apologize for the crudity of this review. Once again, I’m in a rush.

 

Most of us know John Wayne as the rough and tough cowboy gunslinger from almost all of his other films, yet here in In Old California, he is a simple pharmacist who has moved out from Boston in hopes of starting his own business. Now, he’s not some wimpy pharmacist, make no mistake about that, but he just isn’t the John Wayne we’re all familiar with.

 

So, as you can tell by the title, this film is set “in old California” and revolves around Wayne’s character, who has just arrived from Boston on his way up to Sacramento, a beautiful women, her fiancée, and some lesser characters.

 

As far as westerns go, this one doesn’t really ignite interest in the genre, but that doesn’t mean it is a bad film. If you’re just being introduced to westerns, though, this is not the one for you. On the other hand, this is a great way to be introduced to John Wayne as a pure actor, if you’re a fan. What did I ultimately think of this film? Well, it has its moments, but nothing to make me sit up and take notice. For me, it came off as average to above average. You may have a different opinion, but I wouldn’t necessarily rush out to see this one.

 

3 out of 5 stars

Marvel Knights: Black Panther

PLOT:

The first full six episodes of the series have been aired on Australia’s ABC3. In North America, the six episodes were planned to be split in two making a total of twelve episodes.However, only three episodes were released before the show was removed from online stores.

• Episode 1: In a top-secret Washington meeting, Intelligence Agent Everett Ross briefs the government on the history of the Black Panther, the warrior king of the African nation, Wakanda. Meanwhile on the other side of the world, Prince T’Challa wins an annual Wakanda tournament, and becomes the Black Panther. Meanwhile, a disastrous man machine hybrid is built.
• Episode 2: Having been crowned the new Black Panther, T’Challa must contend with jealousy in the royal court while searching for the man who murdered his father. Unbeknownst to him, a deadly assassin named Klaw is assembling a team of super-villains to attack Wakanda.
• Episode 3: A young T’Challa travels to Egypt and encounters Storm of the X-Men. While preparing to attack Wakanda, Klaw recalls how he assassinated the previous Black Panther.
• Episode 4: Juggernaut and the Black Knight spearhead the attack on Wakanda, and the Black Panther learns the truth about his father’s murder.
• Episode 5: With Wakanda under siege from Klaw’s team of super-villains, the Black Panther confronts the Black Knight in aerial combat; Princess Shuri must defend herself against the deadly Radioactive Man.
• Episode 6: Klaw has taken control of Wakanda, and the Black Panther races against time to save his nation from destruction.

REVIEW:

 Finally, a movie about the Black Panther! Wait, this isn’t a movie…it’s actually a 6-episode series that apparently aired on BET. I knew it was too good to be true. However, if you watch these episodes back to back, it plays out just like a movie. Best we’re gonna get right now, I’m afraid.

These episodes area bit of an origin tale of one of the, I don’t want to say obscure…lesser known is probably the better term…characters in the Marvel universe. While not being the exact origin, at least the one that I am familiar with, for those that aren’t necessarily familiar with this character, it is a good introduction.

One of the great things about this series has to be the theme song. It seems to be a lost art these days to have a great theme. I think the only current memorable theme is the song for The Big Bang Theory. Now, while you won’t leave humming the theme to Black Panther, it is well written and fits the tone of the show and the way they portray his character.

The voice casting is almost perfect. Djimon Hounsou is perfect as T’Challah. If they were to ever get off their asses and make a Black Panther movie (rather than needless reboots of characters like Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, etc…and a strange, unnecessary prequel to the X-Men), he would be perfect. Alfre Woodard and Kerry Washington really sell their parts well. I’m not really sold on Jill Scott as Storm, nor the performances of Adrian Pasdar and Kevin Michael Richardson as Captain America and Wolverine, respectively, but given their limited time on the screen, I’ll let it slide.

The story here in the best thing about this DVD. It is one of the better superhero plots I’ve seen in quite some time, but with the good, comes the bad.

If you’re expecting traditional, hand-drawn animation, you’re going to be greatly disappointed. Marvel Knights: Black Panther uses motion comic animation. Some people like this, but I am not a fan. To me, this is just a lazy way of doing things. On the other hand, at least they did actually animate the characters a little, rather than have them move like cardboard cutouts, as in the Jonah Hex feature of Superman/Shazam: The Return of Black Adam DVD. Had they done that, I’d be ready to go postal on these so-called “animators”.

There is a bit of the plot that never made sense to me. It it possible that I just missed the explanation, but I am not a fan of the way America just wanted to invade, er, assist Wakanda. I know this is supposed to be a bit of an exaggeration and all, but they could have at least given a reason. What made it worse is that they kept going back to that war room meeting and it just confuses the audience more and more. I could go off on some political tangent here, but I won’t. Just know that this was not one of my favorite aspects of the story.

Character design is hit or miss with me. The heroes are mainly hit, but the villains…not so much. For starters, Klaw is supposed to have blue skin. Now, in this continuity, that may be different, but I’d have prefered the classic Klaw. On the flipside, this version of Batroc was better than the version I know from the comics, and it was good to have the good old, classic Juggernaut, but did they really have to keep trying to shoehorn in his line from X-Men: The Last Stand? You know the line, “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”

Many familiar faces from the Marvel universe appear here, such as the Captain America (as I mentioned before) and the X-Men, especially Storm. You may remember the meeting between Cap and the Panther from Ultimate Avengers 2. This time around, though, I think they showed it closer to what actually happened in the comic. That isn’t my complaint, though.

I have issue with the way the X-Men were portrayed as more or less comic relief in the brief scenes they appeared. Something just wasn’t right about that. I know that they were doing everything they can to pump up the Panther and all, but last I checked, Cyclops wasn’t the joking type, neither was Wolverine. Nightcrawler, I can accept, though.

My final beef with this film is why was it on BET? Someone said that Luke Cage fit more into the BET atmosphere than Black Panther. From what I know about him, I’m inclined to agree. Just because Black Panther is African doesn’t mean he belongs on BET. On top of that, from my friends that do almost nothing but watch BET, this never aired here in the US, but only in Australia. What’s up with that?!?

I have to admit that while this was really a lot better than I was led to believe it would be, the animation is such a huge turnoff for me that I almost didn’t finish watching! That point aside, it is always good to get some new blood, if you will, out there in the superhero community. There is only so much that can be done with the usual suspects. Hopefully, this will open up the door for lesser knowns such as She-Hulk, Alpha Flight, Iron Fist, Luke Cage, Moon Knight,  and Sub-Mariner, just to name a few. So, is this worth watching? Well, for me it is above average, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it again, but, yes, it is worth the 2 hrs to watch all 6 episodes…if you can get past the motion comic animation.

3 out of 5 stars