Mac and Me

PLOT:

A wheelchair-bound boy helps to reunite an earthbound alien with its extraterrestrial family in this shameless rip-off of Steven Spielberg’s E.T.. Separated from his parents shortly after arriving on planet Earth, a Mysterious Alien Creature (MAC) quickly strikes up a friendship with lonely Eric Cruise (former Easter Seals spokesman Jade Calegory). New to town and in need of a pal after losing his father, Eric discovers just how amazing the universe can be when mischievous MAC takes him on the adventure of a lifetime.

REVIEW:

Around the same time E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was released, some studio, had the brilliant idea of coming up with their own cute alien who befriends a lonely boy. This formula was tweaked a bit and worked really well years later in Flight of the Navigator, but Mac and Me is nothing more than a wannabe.

I won’t beat around the bush, this is by no means a good movie, but it does have some moments here and there that will keep you at least from wondering why you even bothered watching it in the first place.

The heartbreaking story of Mac and his family will tug at your heartstrings, but the levity that occurs between the time he is separated and hides out with the Cruises and the reunion with his parents.

As with every alien movie, the government wants to do nothing more than capture, dissect, study, and cover up the existence of said aliens. There is no exception here, and these guys serve as nothing more than a nuisance, really, rather than some sort of villains.

I will say, though, that the short dance sequence at McDonald’s was entertaining, but the scene shortly afterwards where Mac and Eric are fleeing the scene was almost straight out of E.T. Hell, I found myself half expecting them to take off and fly.

I must comment on the design of these mysterious alien creatures (MAC). If you remember sea monkeys, that is pretty much what these things look like. Somewhere I read that they were inspired by the alien creatures from the movie Ice Pirates, but I haven’t seen that yet.

So, what is the final verdict on Mac and Me. It is bad, but could be worse. As I said before, it seems to be nothing more than blatant rip off of E.T. coupled, as well as an advertisement for McDonald’s and Skittles. Ironically, when I was little, I got Skittles and Reese’s Pieces mixed up all the time. Should you see this? If you’re in the mood for a good family alien movie and can’t find E.T., then yes, otherwise, there is no real reason to see this.

2 out of 5 stars

Tekken

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the year 2039, after World Wars have destroyed much of civilization as we know it, territories are no longer run by governments, but by corporations; the mightiest of which is the Tekken Corporation, which controls North America. In order to placate the seething masses of this dystopia, the corporation’s Chairman/CEO, Heihachi Mishima, sponsors the King of Iron Fist Tournament, or Iron Fist – in which fighters battle until one is left standing, who in turn will receive a lifetime of stardom and wealth.

Jin Kazama has been raised in relative peace by his mother, Jun. She has trained him in many styles of martial arts and has been very much a mentor to him, yet mysteriously never speaks of Jin’s father, simply claiming he is dead. Now a rebellious teenage street fighter and contraband runner, Jin witnesses the death of Jun during Tekken’s crackdown on insurgents in Tekken City’s slum area referred to as the Anvil. Grieving the loss of his beloved mother and feeling guilty that he had not been there to protect her, Jin swears revenge. In the ruins of his former home, he finds a Tekken Fighter I.D. belonging to Jun among his late mother’s belongings. Intrigued, he sets off to the Open Call, which allow the masses in the Anvil to pick a fighter for the tournament. After defeating the disgraced fighter Marshall Law, Jin gains sponsorship from former boxer Steve Fox and is hailed by the masses as “The People’s Choice”.

Upon entering the heart of Tekken City, Jin meets and befriends mixed martial artist Christie Monteiro. After witnessing former intelligence agent Raven overpower Capoeira fighter Eddie Gordo in the very first match, Jin wins his match against Miguel Caballero Rojo, nearly killing him in a fit of rage. Heihachi’s son and right-hand man, Kazuya, is impressed and offers Jin a place in Tekken Corp., but Jin flatly refuses. Later that night, after sneaking out with Christie and visiting a nightclub where they flirt and bond, Jin is attacked by the assassin sisters Anna and Nina Williams, who are acting on the orders of Kazuya, who is scheming to take over Tekken Corp and now sees Jin as a possible obstacle. Jin survives the assassination attempt, thanks to Christie’s interference. Steve and Christie both attempt to dissuade Jin from continuing in the tournament, as his life is in danger. Against their wishes, Jin vows to win Iron Fist and kill Heihachi. Meanwhile, Kazuya blackmails the tournament’s current champion Bryan Fury into killing Jin in a match or be exposed as a cyborg, effectively banning him from the tournament for life.

During the quarter-finals, Jin is matched up against the mysterious swordsman Yoshimitsu. Heihachi, taking a shine to this young fighter, deems that this match be reserved for the semi-finals and attempts to change the order. He is stopped by Kazuya, who has gained control of the Jackhammers, or Jacks (high tech soldiers used for peacekeeping and insurgent destruction). Kazuya then has Heihachi imprisoned and orders the match to begin, effectively seizing control of Tekken. Jin narrowly defeats Yoshimitsu, thanks to Heihachi tripping a security alert in the arena. Following the match, Kazuya orders all of the fighters to be detained. He later tells the imprisoned fighters that the rules have changed, wherein they must fight to the death in order to advance. Jin, Christie, and Steve launch an escape along with Raven and Heihachi. Unfortunately Raven is wounded and recaptured, but the rest make it out to the Anvil.

In the Anvil, Heihachi reveals to Jin the true nature of his origin, explaining that many years ago, Kazuya raped Jun and attempted to kill her, effectively making Kazuya Jin’s long-lost father. She survived Kazuya’s assault, but Heihachi found her first and took her out of Tekken City to keep her alive. Heihachi also states that now Jin could potentially become the next chairman of Tekken Corporation and that the corporation’s true purpose is to restore order to the chaos-ridden world and help the people rise again, though Jin expresses disagreement and emanates distrust upon being told this. Heihachi entrusts Jin with the task of defeating Kazuya, but soon after, he and his party are located by Jacks and engage in a quick firefight that results in the death of Steve, and the recapture of the rest. Before taking Jin and Christie back to Iron Fist, Kazuya orders the Jacks to execute Heihachi.

Back in the tournament, an injured and dispirited Jin is forced to fight against Bryan, who had beaten and killed Sergei Dragunov in his last fight, in the finals while Kazuya holds Christie captive in the control room. At first he is outmatched, but inspired by memories of his mother and her teachings, Jin triumphs after a bloody struggle and kills the cyborg. Angered, Kazuya enters the tournament himself, armed with two half moon axes in hand, and begins the final match. The weaponless Jin is battered and seems on the brink of losing, but is saved when Christie escapes, shooting the Jacks guarding her and creating a distraction. This allows Jin to wound and pin down Kazuya, who baits Jin by claiming that he remembers Jun and how “she put up quite a fight”. Kazuya taunts him into inheriting the Mishima Curse (Heihachi imprisoned and killed his father and Kazuya murdered Heihachi), but Jin refrains from killing his father, stating that he is a Kazama, not a Mishima. Christie comes down to the stage and declares Jin the new Iron Fist Champion. Elated, the crowd both in and outside the arena cheer for him. When Christie asks where he will go, he replies that he will go back home to the Anvil. He walks out of Tekken City’s gate and, in a scene reminiscent of Tekken 5, he is saluted by the Jacks – symbolizing his role as the new CEO of Tekken Corp. Jin walks the streets of the Anvil, a crowd follows him. A voiceover from Christie explains that Jin’s victory made the Kazama family name synonymous with hope amongst his people in the Anvil, but that the true legacy of Tekken is only beginning.

In a post-credits scene, a wounded Kazuya walks by the holding cells back at the arena, as the scene shifts back to Heihachi’s execution. A Jack is forcing Heihachi to kneel at gunpoint. His final words are: “I am Mishima Heihachi. I…am…Tekken.” He then commands the Jack to obey, and the Jack does so. Heihachi lives, ready to take back Tekken.

REVIEW:

I’m not too familiar with the Tekken game series. I seem to recall playing it a couple of times in the arcade, but nothing more than that. I’ve always been more of the Mortal Kombat or, to a lesser extent Soul Caliber type of guy. So, when I found out they were making a video game of this very popular franchise, I was curious, but I had my reservations. After all, I had just watched the horrid Street Fighter movie not too long before.

I think you know how this film plays out. We meet the hero, something traumatic happens, he enters a tournament, gets beat down, falls in love with the hot fighter, and then goes on to win the whole thing in dramatic fashion. Yes, it follows that exact formula, without even a slight variation. The difference, though, is that this film seems to focus more on the fighting than anything else.

I’m not quite sure that is a plus or negative. On one hand, I’m glad they chose to emphasize the action above some sappy story they attempted to shoehorn in to make a “better movie”. On the other hand, though, it sort of felt like they were trying too hard to make it feel like the game, and that was a real turn off for me.

The setting of the film, in some dystopian future, didn’t really seem to work. I’m not too familiar with the game, as I said before, but something tells me this isn’t right. It is sort of like the weird setting in Masters of the Universe, and I believe we all know how well that worked, don’t we?

I will say that the fight scenes are sightly impressive, but I’ve seen better. This flick seems to be more concerned with trying to be some sort of MMA advertisement that a film based on a popular video game series. Does this mean it is a bad film? No, not necessarily, but this just isn’t really worth the time to watch. At least, I didn’t find it worth the time. So, I cannot, in good conscious, recommend it, but rather I have to say that it best to be avoided.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Wieners

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Fran Kranz stars as Joel, a guy who has recently been dumped by his girlfriend (on the advice of an abusive television therapist Dr. Dwayne, played by Darrell Hammond), sending him into a spiral of depression. His two friends, Wyatt (Kenan Thompson) and Ben (Zachary Levi), take him on a road trip to lift his spirits and take revenge on Dr. Dwayne. The friends take their trip in Wyatt’s van, which he has customized into a cross-country hotdog stand in an attempt to impress Oscar Meyer and get a job with them. On the way, they encounter an elderly nymphomaniac couple who had a sexual intercourse in front of them. After being dropped off, they realized their wallets are stolen by three women, leaving them with only ten dollars delivered to Wyatt in a 15-year-old birthday card from his grandmother. They use this money to enter en into a hot bod contest, which Ben had a flashback on which his mother constantly yells at him to work hard in competition. After getting advice from a man Walrus Boy, he wins, getting $10,000 for the prize. As they approach their destination, Joel abandons his friends in a fit of hopelessness, winding up drunk in a back alley. His childhood tormenter, Drake Hanswald (Andy Milonakis), appears in a hallucination, and Joel watches helplessly as his younger self is tormented by Drake and all of his other classmates. Realizing that he needs to change his situation and stand up for himself, Joel returns to his friends just in time to save them from the hippies who had previously stolen Wyatt’s hood ornament. The next morning they go to the studio where Dr. Dwayne’s show is filmed and sneak in. After beating up Dr. Dwayne’s decoy, the real Dr. Dwayne appears, revealing that he intentionally caused Joel’s breakup to motivate Joel to take a stand for himself. He also reveals that he has found a rich man that Wyatt had saved from a life of drugs, who is willing to finance Wyatt’s Wieners. Ben makes a speech to the audience and accepts his homosexuality. Now that the friends have all achieved what they needed, they head home, and we learn that Wyatt’s Wieners became the 4th most successful pre-packaged meat company in the U.S. and that he lives in a hotdog-shaped house with his dachsund named Beyonce. Ben went on to become a successful lawyer and cologne designer, and that he currently lives with his “roommate” Johnathan and his two cats. Joel invented “unpantsable” pants, and the three friends take the Wienerwagon on a road trip every year to spread cross-country happiness.

REVIEW:

As usual, I have found a film that few, if any, have even heard of. Usually, when I do this, said picture is about as horrible as one can get. Is this the case with Wieners?

Well, the plot of tis film is 3 loser friends…well, 2 are losers, the other is the semi cool guy who keep them out of trouble. You know the type. Anyway, one of the losers is in funk because he was dumped on national television by his fiancée. The other loser has been rejected by Oscar Meyer 12 times, so he goes out and buys a wiener truck so that he can go around the country selling hot dogs in an attempt to prove himself to the company. Needless to say, this leads to many random adventures, occurrences, and what not along the way.

I have to say that while I thought this was going to be the most horrific films I’ve seen in the past few months, it did have some moments that had me laughing out loud. That being said, it also had some moments that were just like WTF?!?

Having a nice concept just isn’t enough. The script just didn’t work for me, neither did the cast. On their own, they may have worked better, but the chemistry of the three leads didn’t gel. On top of that, Darrell Hammond’s Dr. Dwayne seems to be a watered down mutation of his Bill Clinton impression with a sprinkle of Dr. Phil. Don’t even get me started on Jenny McCarthy’s over the trop random appearance…or why they even go to see their old teacher in the hopes of getting some.

There is also this rivalry with some kind if vegan truck that results is the hood ornament being stolen (and somehow it learns to talk along the way). I’m still pondering whether this was good or bad.

Final verdict on Wieners? Well, now I want a hot dog, that’s for sure. The film itself is surprising in that it isn’t totally horrible, but at the same time, it could have been so much better. There are enjoyable elements, and you are sure to at least get a chuckle here and there, but then there are moments that will remind you why you haven’t heard of this film before now. Do I recommend this? Eh…if you just want a semi-raunchy comedy, then sure, go ahead, but don’t go out of your way to see it.

2 3/4 out of 5 stars

The Lone Ranger

PLOT:

Set in the American Southwest, the territorial governor enlists the help of the Lone Ranger to investigate mysterious raids on white settlers. Native Americans who ride with saddles. Wealthy rancher Reese Kilgore (Lyle Bettger) wants to expand his land to include Spirit Mountain sacred to local tribes. The Lone Ranger realizes these events are related to encourage a war between settlers and natives to scare settlers away so they won’t discover the rich silver deposits on Spirit Mountain.

REVIEW:

It may come as a surprise to some of you out there, but I have actually never seen an episode of Thr Lone Ranger. When I chose this film from instant streaming today, I thought it was a series of episodes, but, as it turns out, this is the first foray on the big screen for the maked rider.

Some people may say that this plays out as nothing more than an extended episode, but if you look at almost every film that came from TV series that were airing at the time, almost all of them play out that way. Remember the 1966 version of Batman?

I really liked the simplistic story here. Nothing too fancy or complicated, just cowboys and indians fighting over land with the Lone Ranger and Tonto doing what they can to keep the peace and, ultimately, save the day.

Yes, that’s all there is to this. See, nothing fancy, but this is The Lone Ranger. Did you really expect something along the lines of How the West Was Won? If so, then you obviously are not familiar with 60s television series.

In the end, The Lone Ranger is one of those pictures that one would have seen in this era at a Saturday afternoon matinee. It isn’t one of those Earth-shattering pictures, nor is it one of these overhyped, CGI laden, overproduced pictures we see these days. It is just good fun, and I highly recommend you check it out.

4 out of 5 stars

Mary Poppins

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film opens with Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews) perched in a cloud high above London in Spring 1910. The action descends to Earth where Bert (Dick Van Dyke), a Cockney jack-of-all-trades is performing as a one-man band at a park entrance, where he suddenly senses that his good friend is about to return. After the show, he breaks the fourth wall and introduces the audience to the well-to-do but troubled Banks family, headed by the cold and aloof George Banks (David Tomlinson) and the loving but highly distracted suffragette Winifred Banks (Glynis Johns).

The Banks’ latest nanny, Katie Nanna (Elsa Lanchester), quits out of exasperation after the Banks children, Jane (Karen Dotrice) and Michael (Matthew Garber) run off in pursuit of a wayward kite. Mr. Banks returns home from his job at the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, and Mrs. Banks reveals the children are missing. A policeman (Arthur Treacher), arrives with the children, who ask their father to help repair their damaged kite, but he dismisses them and advertises for an authoritarian nanny-replacement. Jane and Michael draft their own advertisement asking for a fun, kind-hearted and caring person, but Mr. Banks tears up the paper and throws it in the fireplace. Unnoticed, the remains of the note float up the dark chimney.

The next day, a queue of elderly and disagreeable looking candidates await at the door. However a strong gust of wind blows the queue away and Mary Poppins floats down, held aloft by her magical umbrella, to apply. Mr. Banks is stunned to see that this calmly defiant new nanny has responded to the children’s ad despite the fact he destroyed it. As he puzzles, Mary Poppins employs herself and begins work, saying that she will stay for a trial period of one week, before deciding if she will take a permanent position. The children face surprises of their own: Mary possesses a bottomless carpetbag, and makes contents of the children’s nursery come to life and tidy themselves (by snapping her fingers).

The trio then meet Bert, who is a close friend of Mary, in the park at work as a screever, where Mary uses one of his chalk pavement drawings as a gateway to an outing in an animated countryside. While in the drawing, the children ride a Merry-Go-Round while Mary and Bert enjoy a stroll though the countryside, during which Bert dances at an outdoor bistro with four penguin waiters. Mary and Bert join the children on the Merry-Go-Round, from which the horses break loose and take their riders on a trip through the countryside. As they pass by a fox hunt, Bert manoeuvres to save an Irish-accented fox from the bloodhounds. Finally the quartet finds themselves in a horse race, which Mary wins. It is here that Mary first employs the nonsense word “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” The outing is interrupted by a rainstorm, which washes away the chalk drawing and returns the travellers to the park pavement.

That evening, the children ask Mary how long she’ll stay with them. With a sombre expression, she replies, “I shall stay until the wind changes”. The next day, they all visit Bert’s jovial Uncle Albert, who floats whenever he laughs, and join him in a tea party in mid-air (though Mary finds it childish and ridiculous).

Mr. Banks grows increasingly irate with his children’s stories of their adventures, but Mary effortlessly inverts his attempted dismissal of her services into a plan to take his children with him to the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, where he is employed. On the way there, as they pass the bank, the children see “The Bird Woman”, and they want to feed the birds, but George will have none of it as he expresses his uninterest in what Mary Poppins says and orders his children to “come along” and not mention her name for the rest of the day. Upon arriving at the bank, Mr. Dawes—Mr. Banks’ extremely elderly employer—aggressively tries to persuade Michael to invest his money in the bank to the point of actually snatching it out of his hand without waiting for his permission. When Michael protests, the other customers misunderstand, and start a run on the bank that forces the bank to suspend business. The children flee and wander into the slums of the East End of London. Fortunately, they run into Bert, now employed as a chimney sweep. He takes them safely home, explaining that their father does not hate them, but that he has problems of his own, and that unlike the children, has no-one to turn to but himself.

At home, a departing Mrs. Banks employs Bert to clean the family’s chimney and mind the children. Mary Poppins arrives back from her day off and warns of the dangers of this activity, but is too late as the children are both sucked up the chimney to the roof. Bert and Mary follow them and lead a tour of the rooftops of London that concludes with a joyful dance with Bert’s chimney-sweep colleagues. A volley of fireworks from the Banks’ eccentric neighbour, Admiral Boom, who mistakes them for Hottentots, sends the entire gathering back down the Banks’ chimney. Mr. Banks arrives home, forcing Mary to conclude the festivities. Banks then receives a phone call from work ordering him to return immediately for disciplinary action. As Mr. Banks gathers his strength, Bert points out that while Mr. Banks does need to make a living, his offspring’s childhood will come and go in a blink of an eye, and he needs to be there for them while he can. The Banks children approach their father to apologize, and Michael gives Mr. Banks his tuppence in the hope that it will make things all right. Banks gently accepts the offering.

A somber and thoughtful Mr. Banks walks alone through the night-time streets, for the first time noticing several of the buildings around him, including the cathedral and steps on which the woman was sitting earlier. At the bank, he is formally humiliated and sacked for causing the first run on the bank since 1773 (it is stated that the bank supplied the money for the shipment of tea destroyed in the Boston Tea Party). However, after being at a loss when ordered to give a statement, Mr. Banks invokes Mary Poppins’ all-purpose word “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” to tweak Mr. Dawes. He gives Dawes the tuppence, tells the old man one of Bert’s and Uncle Albert’s jokes and raucously departs. Dawes mulls over the joke, finally “gets it” and floats up into the air, laughing.

The next morning, the wind has changed direction, and so Mary must depart. Meanwhile, the Banks adults cannot find Mr. Banks, and fear that he might have become suicidal. However, Mr. Banks, now loving and joyful, reappears with the now-mended kite and cheerfully summons his children. The greatly relieved Mrs. Banks supplies a tail for the kite, using one of her suffragette ribbons. They all leave the house without a backward glance as Mary Poppins watches from a window. In the park with other kite-flyers, Mr. Banks meets Mr. Dawes Jr., who says that his father literally died laughing. Instead of being upset, the son is delighted his father died happy, and re-employs Mr. Banks to fill the opening as partner. Her work done, Mary Poppins takes to the air with a fond farewell from Bert (who was selling kites), telling her not to stay away too long.

REVIEW:

Someone actually suggested this one to me in the spring, but certain personal events put it on hold indefinitely. Today, I finally get the chance to make good on that promise.

Along with the classic hand drawn animation films of its heyday, one the Disney studios greatest productions had to be Mary Poppins.

This is everything one wold expect from a Disney film. It has bright, brilliant colors, great songs, a heart warming story, and that Disney magic. All of which have allowed it to withstand the test of time.

I was not aware, but should not be surprised, that Mary Poppins was actually a book. I suppose I should go the library and check it out. On that note, another nanny that has gained some popularity in recent years has been said to be Mary’s sister, and that is Nanny McPhee. Now, I don’t know how true or false this is, nor do I care to speculate on it, but I will look into it and see. My suspicion, though, is that they are two similar characters and people just want them to be related for some strange reason.

The songs in this film are great. Often times, a musical will have those 1 or two songs that you’ll be singing months after you watch, and the rest will be forgotten soon after they are over. Well, almost all of these songs are sure to be stuck in your head, with a couple of exceptions, and those aren’t necessarily bad, just not as catchy.

When Who Framed Roger Rabbit? was released, they all said it was the first to mix live action with cartoons. Well, those same people need to look at the scenes that take place in the sidewalk chalk art. Unless I’m seeing things, it looks very much like humans interacting with cartoons, in a cartoon world, no less!

As I said before, I have not read the book, but if this story is anywhere close to the source material then it will be a good read, because the audience can’t help but be enthralled by the plights, exploits, and adventures of each member of this cast, and how they all interact with each other.

It appears, though, that Disney altered the characterization of Mary Poppins. I’ve read that she was supposed to be a bit cruel and stern…ironically like the nanny she replaces or yo cold even go so far as to say Nanny McPhee, if you’d like.

I would have liked a bit more emphasis on the mother, but that’s just a personal preference, rather than a slight against the films. Also, the staff seems to be great comic relief. Using them a bit more might have been a good idea, as well.

Julie Andrews at this time was fresh on the scene. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, this is her big screen debut. What a debut, huh? Just think, though, things just went up from here, even if she has spent the majority of her career as either a nanny or in her later years as some sort of regal figure, such as a queen.

Dick Van Dyke is constantly getting flack for his cockney accent. People are saying that it ruins the film. Personally, I like it. His accent works for his character and throws a bit of spice into a cast that all seem to have the same cookie cutter British accent.

So, what is the final verdict on Mary Poppins? Well, this is hands down one of the best non animated Disney films. I think only Old Yeller is anywhere near as good. With a few minor exceptions, I have to say that this film is, to quote Mary Poppins, “Practically perfect in every way”.

5 out of 5 stars

Super 8

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the summer of 1979, Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney), a 14-year-old boy living in the fictional town of Lillian, Ohio, has lost his mother in a factory accident. Louis Dainard (Ron Eldard) comes to the wake, but Joe’s father, Deputy Jackson Lamb (Kyle Chandler), takes Dainard in handcuffs. It is later revealed that Jackson blames Dainard for the former’s wife’s death because he was absent during his shift and she had to fill in for him.

Four months later, Joe’s friend Charles Kaznyk (Riley Griffiths) convinces Dainard’s daughter Alice (Elle Fanning) to be the protagonist’s wife in his low-budget zombie movie on Super 8 film. Both Joe and Charles secretly have crushes on Alice. Alice appropriates her father’s car and takes Joe, Charles, Preston (Zach Mills), Martin (Gabriel Basso), and Cary (Ryan Lee) to an old train depot where the group plans to film a scene.

During the shoot, Joe watches a pick-up truck drive onto the tracks and place itself in the path of an oncoming train, causing a massive derailment. Something breaks open one of the train car’s doors and escapes. In the aftermath of the accident, the kids find the wreck littered with strange white cubes. They approach the truck and discover Dr. Woodward (Glynn Turman), their biology teacher, behind the wheel of the truck, who purposefully sabotaged the train. He instructs them to never talk about what they saw; otherwise, they and their parents will be killed. Moments afterwards, the U.S. Air Force, led by Colonel Nelec (Noah Emmerich), arrives to secure the crash site while the kids flee the scene.

Over the next couple of days, strange phenomena occur: numerous town dogs run away; kitchen appliances, car engines, and power lines vanish, and people begin to disappear. The Air Force deliberately starts a wildfire (Operation Walking Distance) outside of town, giving them a pretext to evacuate the entire town to a nearby base. Upon arriving at the base, Joe finds Dainard, who tells him that a creature abducted Alice. Joe, Charles, Cary, and Martin sneak back into town and head to their school, where they break into Woodward’s stash of confiscated items, thinking he may have hidden documentation about the creature that might help them save Alice. In the papers, film, and audio recordings, they discover that the government imprisoned an extraterrestrial (played by Bruce Greenwood in motion capture sequences) who crashed on Earth in 1958. The alien only wished to rebuild its ship, using the shapeshifting white cubes and return home, but it was instead imprisoned and tortured by the Air Force, who sought to seize its technology. One film shows Woodward, a researcher at the time, being attacked by the alien. This physical contact caused him to form a telepathic bond with the alien, through which he learned that it only wanted to go home. Woodward derailed the train to free it from captivity.

Colonel Nelec and his men storm the school and capture the boys. They place the children on a security bus and head back to the Air Force base, but the alien attacks the bus on the way. Nelec and his men are killed, while Joe and his friends escape. The kids head through the town, which is now under heavy fire from malfunctioning military equipment as the military attempts to battle the alien. In the confusion Martin is injured and Charles stays behind with him while Joe and Cary go to find Alice. They find the alien’s subterranean lair near the cemetery where Joe’s mother is buried, along with several missing people who have been trapped there by the alien, which has apparently kept them for food. The town’s missing electronics are there, too, formed together to create a giant electromagnet underneath the base of the water tower. Joe manages to rescue Alice, but, as they escape, the alien grabs Joe, who tells the creature that it can still live on even after painful events. The alien understands Joe’s meaning through their tactile telepathic connection and lets go of him, allowing him and his friends to escape.

Shortly after, all the cubes (which break free from Air Force transport trucks) as well as loose metal from around the town are attracted to the town’s water tower. The cubes begin to align and a ship begins to take form around the water tower, which the alien then enters. Joe’s metal locket, which contains a picture of him as a baby with his mother, is also drawn towards the tower, and, after a moment, he decides to let it go, finally putting the past behind him. Everyone watches as the ship takes off toward space.

During the end credits, the full movie that Charles and his friends were working on, titled The Case, is shown, with an epilogue in which Charles asks the film festival judges to select his movie, before he is assaulted by a zombie played by Alice.

REVIEW:

This is going to be a bit of a short review, as I am pressed for time.

Super 8 may have flown underneath your radar this summer, what with all the superhero flicks that we have been privy too, but this flick is one of those that may very well have been underrated.

A throwback to the time when sci-films were more about good filmmaking rather than non-stop CGI, this film does something that films in every genre seem to have forgotten over time, and that is entertain the audience.

The plot isn’t half bad. A tale about some kids making a movie and all of a sudden a big explosion happens that derails a freight train carrying some sensitive government stuff (which of course they want hidden from the public). This all leads to some alien stuff that is the basis for the whole picture.

For the most part, the acting is forgettable, but I guarantee you will be blown away by young Elle Fanning, especially her exposition before the train scene. She left my jaw on the floor.

The special effects here are actually not half bad. They add to the experience, rather than divert from the film, the way so many do these days, which is always a plus in my book.

So, the final verdict on Super 8 is that it isn’t half bad. The throwback aspect of it really makes the film worth watching, but it does drag down for a good chunk of the film while it attempts to develop the plot heading into the climactic final scene. Would I recommend this? Yes, it is a worthwhile sci-fi flick that all can enjoy.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Spartacus

 

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Slaves work in the Roman province of Libya. Spartacus (Kirk Douglas), a burly Thracian, comes to the aid of an old man who has fallen down. A Roman soldier whips Spartacus and tells him to get back to work, only to be attacked and bitten on the ankle. For this, Spartacus is tied up and sentenced to death by starvation.

Lentulus Batiatus (Peter Ustinov), a lanista (an impresario of gladiatorial games), arrives looking for recruits for his gladiatorial establishment. He inspects several slaves before finally settling on Spartacus, recognizing his unbroken spirit, along with his good health and physical condition. Batiatus purchases Spartacus and several others, then sails for Capua where his gladiatorial training camp is located. The trainer, Marcellus (Charles McGraw), immediately tries to provoke Spartacus into giving the trainer a reason to kill the Thracian as an example. Spartacus also befriends another gladiator, Crixus (John Ireland).

After several scenes showing gladiator training and life at the school, Crassus (Laurence Olivier) arrives with some companions, wishing to be entertained by watching two pairs of gladiators fight to the death. Spartacus is selected along with Crixus, an Ethiopian named Draba (Woody Strode), and another gladiator named Galino.

Crixus and Galino are the first to fight, and Crixus slays him. Spartacus is next. He duels the mighty Draba and is defeated. Draba, however, refuses to kill him, instead throwing his trident into the elevated spectators’ box and leaping to attack the Romans. During his climb to the box, a guard throws a spear that lands in Draba’s back, wounding him at the feet of Crassus, who quickly dispatches the slave and prepares to depart.

As Crassus leaves, he purchases the pretty slave woman, Varinia (Jean Simmons). Spartacus and Varinia have fallen in love, and in frustration at his loss and the overseer’s callous treatment, Spartacus begins a successful uprising. The gladiators eventually take Capua and all the surrounding districts. Many local slaves flock to the insurgents. Spartacus outlines his plan to escape by sea from the port of Brundisium, aboard the ships of the Cilician pirates, whom he plans to pay from the slaves’ plunder.

In the Senate of Rome, plebeian senator Gaius Sempronius Gracchus (Charles Laughton) cunningly manipulates Crassus’s protege and friend Marcus Glabrus (John Dall) into taking six cohorts of the Garrison of Rome out to crush the revolt, leaving the way open for Gracchus’s ally, Julius Caesar (John Gavin), to take command of the garrison during Glabrus’ absence. In the meantime, Crassus receives new slaves as a gift from the governor of Sicily. Among them is Antoninus (Tony Curtis), a former children’s tutor from Sicily. Crassus intimidates him during a bath with homoerotic allusions causing Antoninus to run away to join Spartacus.

Spartacus and Crixus review some new recruits, assigning them positions according to their skills. Antoninus, who is among them, identifies himself as a poet and illusionist. Later, he entertains the slave army, but he is determined to be a soldier, indirectly commenting on the relation between politics and art. Spartacus is reunited with Varinia, who had escaped from Batiatus, only to end up the property of yet another master.

A humiliated Glabrus returns to Rome, with only fourteen other known survivors of the attack. After a senate hearing, Crassus is forced to banish Glabrus from Rome for his carelessness.

Rome keeps sending armies to put down the rebellion, but Spartacus defeats them all; one such defeat at Metapontum costs the Romans 19,000 men. Crassus resigns from the Senate, supposedly to share the disgrace of his exiled friend Glabrus. However, Gracchus suspects that he is merely waiting for the situation to become so desperate that the senators will make him dictator, thus neutralizing Gracchus’s rival plebeian party. Gracchus, for his own purposes, maneuvers to help the slaves to escape in order to deny Crassus his opportunity. A disgusted Caesar betrays Gracchus, however, and Crassus reaches deep into his own pockets to defeat the plan.

When the former slaves reach the coast, they discover that the Cilicians have been bought off by Crassus. Spartacus finds himself trapped between three Roman armies (Pompey in Calabria, Lucullus in Brundisium and the legions of Crassus in Rome). The Roman deployment has maneuvered Spartacus into a position where he can be trapped between two Roman armies, and his only other choice is to fight his way through to Rome itself, a strategy with little chance of success. Meanwhile, the Senate gives Crassus the sweeping powers he desires. In parallel scenes, Spartacus harangues the slaves, while Crassus warns against the elimination of patrician privileges. Batiatus is hired by Crassus to help him identify Spartacus after his expected capture, and is in turn promised the dealership of the survivors of Spartacus’s army after its defeat.

The climactic battle begins with Spartacus leading his troops, men and women, against Crassus and his own legions. During the fighting, the slaves initially enjoy some success, but later on Crixus is killed, and the slave forces are overwhelmed by the arrival of the armies of Pompey and Lucullus. The battle results in the total defeat of the rebel army, heavy casualties on both sides, and the capture of many survivors, including Spartacus and Antoninus. Crassus promises the captives that they will not be punished if they will identify Spartacus or his body. Spartacus and Antoninus stand up, but before Spartacus can speak, Antoninus shouts “I’m Spartacus!” One by one, each surviving slave stands, shouting out “I’m Spartacus!” Crassus condemns them all to be crucified along the Appian Way from the battlefield to the gates of Rome, against Batiatus’s wishes. He saves Antoninus and Spartacus for last, recognizing the former and recalling the latter’s face and name from his visit to Capua. The slaves are marched along the Appian Way, where, one by one, they are crucified.

Crassus arrives and orders Spartacus and Antoninus to duel to the death, too impatient to wait for the next day’s celebrations in which the pair was to figure, and furious at Spartacus’s refusal to confirm his identity, Crassus declares that the winner will be crucified. Each man tries to kill the other, to spare his companion a slow, agonizing death on the cross. After killing Antoninus, Spartacus is informed that Varinia and her son are slaves of Crassus, and he is then crucified by the walls of Rome. Crassus admits to Caesar that he now and for the first time fears Spartacus, who has become a martyr, even more than he fears Caesar himself, foreshadowing events to come.

Meanwhile, Batiatus sees that the revenge of Crassus denies him the promised lucrative auction of the surviving slaves. Varinia and her first born son, recovered from the battlefield, are taken to Crassus’ home. Crassus tries to use Varinia as a love slave, and he unsuccessfully tries to woo her. In his last act before committing suicide, the disgraced Gracchus generously hires Batiatus to steal Varinia from Crassus, then grants freedom for her and her son, personally writing out manumission documents for them. Before they leave, Varinia kisses Gracchus in gratitude. After they leave, Gracchus examines two daggers, looks at one and says “Hmm… prettier”. Grabbing one dagger and putting down the other, he goes into the adjoining room, closing the curtains behind him as he leaves, and commits suicide offscreen.

Batiatus and Varinia leave for Gaul via the Appian Way and find Spartacus hanging on the last cross by the road, not quite dead. Varinia shows Spartacus their newborn son, vowing that he will grow up a free man, promises to tell her son, “Who his father was, and what he dreamed of,” and bids Spartacus a final farewell. With one last breath, Spartacus’s head slumps back, and Varinia gets back onto the wagon and rides on.

REVIEW:

Before such films as Gladiator, 300, and the recent Immortals, there was the epic masterpiece Spartacus!

Revered as one of the great historical epics in cinematic history, in the past couple of years it actually has fallen by the wayside due to the HBO Spartacus series, which features a grittier, more violent, and above all, more hedonistic view of the same events.

It is no fluke, however, that this film brought home a few Oscars. Say what you will about the Academy as it stands today, in this era, they actually recognized great films (and the quality was much better back then, mind you.)

Now, at 184 minutes, this does seem to drag on a bit. Even the most dedicated film viewer will get a bit antsy viewing, but there is overture and entr’acte to break things up. Does the length affect one’s view on the film?

Well, for me, I though there were a few things they could have done without, but, at the same time, I see why they were included. Still, there are those out there that aren’t as understanding and forgiving as I.

Often time, I say that if you’re expecting sweeping a great story and sweeping cinematography, then you should look elsewhere. Well, this is one of those films that you should look to if you’re into that sort of thing.

Yes, some of the backgrounds are obviously shot on a soundstage, which, unlike most people, I don’t have a problem with, but the scenes that are of the beautiful countryside are breathtaking. Not to mention those times when they pan out and show the entire slave army vs. the Romans.

In this day and age, as we’ve seen in other films that have used massive military units, armies consist of the cast, a handful of extras, and then a ton of CG. Back in this time, though, every single member of those armies was a real person.

Granted, I’m no proponent of CG, but you honestly can’t tell me that it looks better to have a computer generated version of these soldiers, and you especially can’t tell me it is cheaper to use a computer to create them, than it is to give them a few bucks. I’m just saying.

The story, now let me be clear on this, is a weak point for me. Now, I say this because I was actually watching the HBO Spartacus this morning, so there was a bit of conflicting stores there, and I couldn’t help but compare and contrast. However, if I were to have not watched that show this morning, then I’m sure it would not have been a weak link.

Everything you need for a great story is here. The characters are well developed, the damsel in distress falls for the hero, deception, deceit, action, and a love story. What more does one want?

While this is a historical drama, it is not without its action. Granted, the action is one the scale as the more recent Greek/Roman films that we’ve seen, but it is still there. The climactic battle is well worth the wait, as is the final battle Spartacus endures before he is hung on a cross. Well, I should take that back. That one isn’t the greatest, but just that moment makes it feel as if it is better than it actually is.

There really is not a weak link in this cast. They all turn in superior performances that will leave you wondering why actors were able to actually act back then and seem to just fumble through stuff these days.

So, what is my final verdict on Spartacus? Well, on the surface, this epic seems to be a near perfect film, but it does have a few flaws here and there. However, none of them are large enough for me to acknowledge. My issue, though, is that at just a smidge over 3 hours long, the pacing wasn’t a bit more brisk. I actually lost interest in places. Still, I have to say that this is one of those films one should see before they die.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Ever After: A Cinderella Story

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the early 19th century, the Grande Dame of France (Jeanne Moreau), an elderly aristocrat, summons the Grimm Brothers and proposes to tell them the real story of the little cinder girl. The lady claims that Cinderella was really a young woman named Danielle de Barbarac. She reveals a portrait of Danielle and a glass slipper, and proceeds to tell the story.

Danielle de Barbarac is a young girl who lives in a manor with her widowed father, Auguste, whom she adores. When Danielle is eight, her father marries the haughty Baroness Rodmilla de Ghent (Anjelica Huston), who has two daughters about Danielle’s age. Soon after, Auguste dies. Rodmilla is envious of Danielle, and treats her like a servant after Auguste’s death.

Ten years pass. The Baroness has fallen into debt. Marguerite, her spoiled older daughter, has grown to be cruel, arrogant, and bad-tempered; while the younger, Jacqueline, is kindhearted, soft-spoken, and constantly overlooked. In the orchard one day, Danielle encounters a man attempting to steal her father’s old horse. She pelts him with apples, knocking him to the ground, and is horrified to learn that the man is Henry, the Crown Prince of France. Henry explains that his own horse was lamed in his attempt to escape stifling royal life. He forgives Danielle in exchange for her silence, and rewards her with money.

In the nearby woods, Henry rescues an old man’s prized possession from a band of gypsies who stole it. The man turns out to be Leonardo da Vinci and the possession is the Mona Lisa. Henry’s parents, the king and queen, have summoned Leonardo to the court. He and Henry become friends.

Danielle resolves to use the money to rescue Maurice, an old family servant whom Rodmilla had sold. While her step-family is out of the house, Danielle dons a noblewoman’s dress and goes to court. She finds Maurice about to be shipped to the Americas, and demands his release. Prince Henry sees this and is impressed with Danielle’s intellect, strength of character, and beauty. Danielle refuses to tell Henry her name, though eventually she leaves him with the name of her mother, Comtesse Nicole de Lancret.

Meanwhile, the Baroness schemes to match Marguerite with Henry, even as Henry is enthralled with the mysterious “Nicole.” Henry and Danielle meet up several times and have passionate arguments about Utopia, class conventions, responsibility, and freedom. She challenges him to use his position for a greater good. At one point, they stumble on the gypsy camp, and after they are accosted, Danielle rescues Henry in an uproarious turn of events that wins them the gypsies’ goodwill. Danielle and Henry share their first kiss by the gypsy campfire that night. However, Henry knows that unless he chooses a wife before the upcoming masquerade ball, his parents will marry him to a Spanish princess.

When Danielle’s family receives their invitation to the ball, they lament their failing fortunes and lack of fancy clothes. The Baroness proposes that Marguerite should wear Danielle’s mother’s wedding dress and the matching glass slippers, which were stored away for Danielle’s wedding. Danielle discovers them however, but when she retaliates against Marguerite for mocking her dead mother, she is punished with a severe whipping and having her treasured copy of Utopia burned. Through this, she gains a confidant in Jacqueline.

Danielle decides her idealized view of her relationship with Prince Henry is futile, and that she must break it off. She meets him again as they had planned, but her courage fails her as Henry misinterprets what she says and declares his love for her. Danielle, on the verge of tears, bids him farewell and flees.

Just before the ball, the Baroness discovers the interludes between Danielle and Henry, and her masquerade as the Comtesse de Lancret. The Baroness then informs the Queen that “Nicole” has gone to marry another, and the Queen in turn tells Henry. The Baroness also forbids Danielle from attending the ball.

On the day of the ball, the Baroness and Marguarite accuse Danielle of hiding the dress and slippers. After shouting that she would rather die than see Margurite wear her mother’s gown, Danielle is locked in the larder. Her childhood friend Gustave asks for help from Leonardo, who frees her by unhinging the door. He also encourages her to go to the ball and tell Henry the whole truth, saying that the Prince’s love for her will be enough to overcome convention. The servants give Danielle her mother’s dress and slippers, which they had hidden from Marguerite, and Leonardo gives her a pair of wings.

Just as the King and Queen are about to announce Henry’s engagement to the Spanish princess, Gabriella, Danielle arrives at the ball. Henry is overjoyed, but the Baroness rushes forward and tears off one of Danielle’s wings, accusing her of plotting to entrap the Prince and revealing that she is a commoner. Danielle tries to explain but Henry is humiliated and refuses to listen, calling her an imposter. Devastated, she runs away, losing one of her slippers. Leonardo picks up the slipper, and reprimands Henry for abandoning Danielle, and the principles he claimed to espouse, when she risked everything for him.

Henry stubbornly refuses to consider the truth until he is about to be married. As the wedding begins, the Spanish princess sobs uncontrollably, imploring her parents to allow her to marry her commoner lover. Henry bursts out laughing, and the wedding is called off.

Henry rushes out of the church to find Danielle only to learn that she has been sold to a vile landowner, Pierre Le Pieu. He sets off to rescue her. At his castle, Le Pieu threatens Danielle, now a servant in shackles, with sexual advances. She turns the tables on him and threatens him at sword-point; in exchange for his life he frees her. She walks out of the castle just as Henry arrives. He begs for her forgiveness, telling her he’s been looking for the woman who left behind the glass slipper the night of the ball. He asks her to marry him as he slips it on her foot, and she accepts.

The Baroness and her daughters are summoned to court, assuming that Henry plans to propose to Marguerite. Instead, Rodmilla and Marguerite are asked if they have ever lied to the Queen about Danielle’s engagement. The Baroness makes feeble excuses, while Marguerite tries to save herself by blaming her mother. The ladies turn to Jacqueline for corroboration, but she stands up for herself and refuses to lie for them. The Queen strips the Baroness and Marguerite of their titles and tells them that they will be shipped to the New World colonies, unless someone pleads for them. Danielle steps forward and is introduced as Henry’s wife. Danielle asks that Marguerite and the Baroness be sent to work in the royal laundry for the rest of their days as a fitting punishment. Jacqueline, who had always been kind to Danielle, is spared punishment. She marries the captain of the royal guard, whom she met at the ball.

The Grand Dame reveals to the Brothers Grimm that she is Danielle’s great-great-granddaughter, and, as evidenced by the glass slipper and Da Vinci’s portrait, not only did they live happily ever after, but the story is indeed true.

REVIEW:

I love Drew Barrymore, especially before she went and became all anorexic like she is these days. Somehow, I had let Ever After: A Cinderella Story slip by me, though. The little woman, though, felt the need to watch it tonight, so there you have it.

I have to say that this was not to my liking at all. That is not to say that this is a bad film, I just didn’t care for it.

First off, they took the Cinderella story and made it seem as if it was a historical event, rather than a fairy tale. I applaud them for taking this risk, but they could have done it with a little more…something. This just seemed to drag on and was extremely heavy on the drama, even for a drama.

The characters all seem rather 1 dimensional, with the exception of Drew Barrymore and Anjelica Houston’s. Each of these people just seem to be floating around in a world that seems like it could use something, anything, interesting to happen. I also didn’t quite understand why they put Leonardo da Vinci in here, except for they needed him to bring some sort of credibility, for lack of a better term, to the historical aspect.

In the end, there are going to be those that really love this film. I would wager that most of those people are going to be of the female persuasion. For me, I think that if you want this story told the way it was meant to be and not just another lifeless drama, then you’d be better served watching Ella Enchanted or, even better, Disney’s Cinderella (animated or musical).

3 out of 5 stars

Once Upon a Time in the West

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film portrays two conflicts that take place around Flagstone, a fictional town in the American Old West: a land battle related to construction of a railroad, and a mission of vengeance against a cold-blooded killer. The main storyline revolves around a struggle for Sweetwater, a piece of land near Flagstone containing the region’s only water source. The land was bought by Brett McBain (Frank Wolff), who foresaw that the railroad would have to pass through that area to provide water for the steam locomotives. When railroad tycoon Morton (Gabriele Ferzetti) learns of this, he sends his hired gun Frank (Fonda) to simply intimidate McBain to move off the land, but Frank instead kills McBain and his three children, planting evidence on the scene to frame the bandit Cheyenne (Robards) and his gang. By the time McBain’s new bride, Jill (Cardinale), arrives from New Orleans, the family is dead and she is the owner of the land.

Meanwhile, a mysterious harmonica-playing gunman (Bronson), whom Cheyenne later dubs “Harmonica”, pursues Frank. In the film’s opening scene, Harmonica kills three men sent by Frank to kill him, and, in a roadhouse on the way to Sweetwater, he informs Cheyenne that the three gunfighters he killed appeared to be posing as Cheyenne’s men. Sometime later, Harmonica kills two men sent by Frank to kill Jill.

Back at Sweetwater, construction materials are delivered to build a railroad station and a small town. Harmonica explains to Cheyenne that Jill will lose Sweetwater unless the station is built by the time the track’s construction crews reach that point, and Cheyenne puts his men to work building it.

Meanwhile, Frank turns against Morton, who wanted to make a deal with Jill. Frank’s betrayal is made easy by the fact that Morton is crippled. After having his way with her, Frank forces Jill to sell the property in an auction. He tries to buy the farm cheaply by intimidating the other bidders, but Harmonica arrives, holding Cheyenne at gunpoint, and makes a much higher bid based on his reward money for delivering Cheyenne to the authorities. After rebuffing another intimidation attempt by Frank, Harmonica sells the farm back to Jill. At this point, some of Frank’s men try to kill Frank, having been paid by Morton to turn against him, but Harmonica helps Frank kill them in order to save that privilege for himself.

After Morton and the rest of Frank’s men are killed in a battle with Cheyenne’s gang, Frank goes to Sweetwater to confront Harmonica. On two occasions, Frank has asked Harmonica who he is, but both times Harmonica refused to answer him. Instead, he mysteriously quoted names of men Frank has murdered. The two men position themselves for a duel, at which point Harmonica’s motive for revenge is revealed in a flashback: When Harmonica was a boy, Frank killed his older brother by tying a noose to the top of an arch, placing it around the brother’s neck, and forcing Harmonica to support his brother on his shoulders with a harmonica in his mouth. Harmonica draws first and shoots Frank, and when Frank again asks who he is, he puts the harmonica in Frank’s mouth. Frank nods weakly in recognition and dies.

With Frank dead, Harmonica and Cheyenne say goodbye to Jill, who is supervising construction of the train station as the track-laying crews reach Sweetwater. Cheyenne collapses almost immediately, revealing that he was shot by Morton while he and his men were fighting Frank’s gang. The work train arrives, and the film ends as Jill carries water to the rail workers and Harmonica rides off with Cheyenne’s body towards the horizon.

REVIEW:

A picture by the director of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Once Upon a Time in the West actually shares little in common with that film.

For starters. this is a much darker, grittier, film, and is also not part of the  “Dollars” trilogy. Is this a positive or negative experience? Well, I’ll leave you to make that decision.

The story about a loner seeking revenge on the man who killed his brother is quite formulaic, especially for a western, especially when you throw in the random hot chick, and yet, for some reason it didn’t take me out of the film.

There is an issue with this film, and it is quite a big one, at least for me, and that is the pacing. I abhor film that take forever to move along. Well, this one really drags on. Sure, this is done to really develop the characters, and we American viewers just aren’t used to this kind of filmmaking, especially in this day and age, but it still is quite slow going. I kept wanting it to hurry up and move along. No wonder this thing was just shy of being 3 hours long!

The music isn’t as great as I would’ve liked, but the fact that each character has a specific leitmotif was really interesting, especially the haunting harmonica theme of Harmonica. Still, I wish all of these tunes worked as well.

Each of the characters are very well played by this masterful cast, but I was most impressed by Italian actress Claudia Cardinale, who played Jill. There is just something about an Italian actress playing an American in the old west. Maybe someone should consider putting Monica Bellucci in a western sometime soon.

When all the dust clears, Once Upon a Time in the West is one of those films that is worth watching, but not something that you’re going to drop everything to see over and over again. Yes, it is well made, but save for the last 30 minutes or so, it just doesn’t capture the audience the way most westerns do. That being said, I would still recommend this, just not highly.

3 3/4 out of 5 stars

 

Anastasia

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film was loosely based on the true story of a former inmate in a German asylum who became known as ‘Anna Anderson’ and whose story made headlines for decades. However, the Russian monarchist movement never backed Ms. Anderson, nor did she ever meet with the Dowager Empress, played by Hayes. The script plays with the question of Anna/Anastasia’s identity.

Ten years of turmoil have passed since the teenage Anastasia and her sisters and brother were presumably killed. Does the refugee Anna who has turned up in Paris have the bearing, speech, and intimate knowledge of the imperial family that the real grand duchess would have? Or is she merely an apt pupil of General Bounine (Brynner), a recovering amnesiac with a striking resemblance who has been cleverly groomed by the émigré general to stake a claim to 10 million pounds left by the Tsar in an English bank? In a series of encounters with former familiars and members of the imperial court, Anna begins to display a confidence and style that astonish her skeptical interlocutors, yet retains our sympathy by seeming more interested in recovering her own identity than the imperial bank account. In a tour de force climactic meeting with the Empress in Copenhagen, Bergman and Hayes take the measure of each other, alternately projecting imperial self-possession and the anguish of family longing. Meanwhile Bounine has become increasingly jealous of the attentions the fortune-hunting Prince Paul pays to Anna. At a grand ball at which her engagement with Paul is to be announced, the Empress has a private word with Anna/Anastasia, who subsequently elopes with Bounine.

While the film does not reveal whether Anna really is the Romanov princess, a series of subtle hints throughout appear to suggest that she is. The gradual realisation of her true identity is juxtaposed upon the romantic interest that develops within Bounine, who in one of his speeches declares to Anna / Anastasia that he cares for who she is and not what her name is.

Hayes summons all her stage experience to deliver the celebrated last line, summing up the film’s poignant exploration of identity and role-playing. Asked how she will explain the vanishing of her supposed granddaughter to a ballroom full of expectant guests, she declares, “I will tell them that the play is over, go home!” The film closes with the regal figure of the Dowager Empress on the arm of Prince Paul, descending the grand staircase.

REVIEW:

In 1997, there was a non-Disney animated film of the same name released. It had very little, if anything, to do with this piece of cinematic glory.

For some reason, I had always thought that Anastasia was just another princess such as Cinderella, Snow White, and other fairy tale types. It turns out she was in deed a real person. Methinks after I finish this review, I’ll go read up on her.

It turns out that this film takes some liberties with the history, but then again, don’t all biopics? Just think of Amadeus, Ali, Immortal Beloved, and Radio, Rudy for examples. None of which are exactly what happened in their respective subject matter’s history. Yet, that might very well be the thing that keeps them interesting.

This story here seems like it wants to off into the realm of becoming a love story, but it never makes it that far, that might be because of some controversy with Mother Russia, but I could be wrong.

Pacing of this flick could have been better. Parts seem to drag on, but at least the scenes where she is learning how to be Anastasia move along quite nicely.

The chemistry between Yul Brynner and Ingrid Bergman is quite magical. I always find it amazing how the chemistry in films of this era was done so much better than in the stuff studios shill these days.

In conclusion, Anatasia isn’t half bad of a film, albeit a bit slow. Should you see it? Well, if you’re into a film that shows a skewered reality that surrounded Anastasia, this is for you. If not, but you’re in the mood for a Yul Brynner film in his native tongue, check out The King and I. This is an above average film, but you’ll probably forget about it soon after viewing.

4 out of 5 stars

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Four years after the incident at Jurassic Park, John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has lost control of InGen to his nephew, Peter Ludlow (Arliss Howard). Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) publicized the incident, but disbelief has destroyed his academic reputation. Hammond summons Malcolm to his home and tells him about Isla Sorna, known as “Site B”, where the dinosaurs were engineered and nurtured for a few months, before they were moved to Isla Nublar, the location of the park. They were abandoned in “Site B”, after a hurricane. Hammond asks Malcolm to join a team that will travel to “Site B” and will help him stop Ludlow from exploiting the site for InGen, and to help leave it as a nature preserve. Malcolm initially refuses, but agrees after learning that his girlfriend, paleontologist Sarah Harding (Julianne Moore), is part of the team and is already there, while the others will meet her after three days.

Malcolm meets the team of people he will join: vehicle engineer Eddie Carr (Richard Schiff), and documentary producer Nick Van Owen (Vince Vaughn). Shortly after arriving on the island, they find Sarah. Sarah attempts to take a close-up picture of a baby stegosaurus. Its parents attack Sarah, protecting their baby. Sarah survives, hiding in a log. At camp, they discover Kelly (Vanessa Lee Chester), Malcolm’s daughter, had stowed away on the trailer. Malcolm tries to get Kelly home, but they are interrupted by the arrival of an InGen team led by Ludlow which they spot chasing and capturing several dinosaur species such as Parasaurolophus, Pachycephalosaurus, Gallimimus and Mamenchisaurus, identified by InGen paleontologist Dr. Robert Burke (Thomas F. Duffy). That night, Nick (who reveals to the team that he is a member of Earth First) and Sarah sneak into the InGen camp to free the dinosaurs which causes a huge commotion as a Triceratops destroys the camp of InGen and the dinosaurs escape, leading InGen tracker Roland Tembo (Pete Postlethwaite) to blame his second-in-command Dieter Stark (Peter Stormare) for the failure.

Roland wishes to capture an adult male Tyrannosaurus by luring it to the cries of its injured offspring. During the commotion caused by the fleeing dinosaurs, Nick frees the baby and takes it to the trailer so Sarah can set its broken leg, frightening Kelly, making her ask Malcolm to go into the “high hide” which is Eddie’s lift that goes above trees. While Kelly, Malcolm, and Eddie are in the lift, they hear the T-rex in the distance, making Malcolm call the trailer to tell Nick and Sarah that the T-rex is near. Nick goes to answer the phone but Sarah needs his help, making him refuse to answer. Malcolm decides to head to the trailer before the T-rex gets there, which he does. Later, a scouting Eddie sees the Tyrannosaurs headed for the trailer, and heads for the camp to save the group. The team gives the adult Tyrannosaurus its child, but moments later it and its mate push one half of the double trailer over a cliff with the group inside. Eddie connects a rope to the trailer and tries to pull the trailer back up using one of the SUVs, but he is attacked and eaten by the tyrannosaurs. The trailer falls off the cliff, and explodes, but its occupants hold on to the rope, only to be rescued by the InGen team. With the communications destroyed in the attacks, both groups team up to reach the old InGen compound’s radio station. Stark dies when he is separated from the group and devoured by a pack of Compsognathus, one of which he had tried to shock with a cattle prod earlier.

At night, the Tyrannosaurus comes across the group’s camp. It pokes its head into Sarah and Kelly’s tent. One of the team workers sees the Tyrannosaurus and screams, waking up the rest. As they all flee with the creature in pursuit, Carter is crushed by it and Dr. Burke is eaten by the dinosaur while Roland manages to tranquilize its mate. The fleeing team passes through a field of tall grass and are picked off by velociraptors, leaving few survivors. Nick reaches the compound, but Malcolm, Sarah, and Kelly are attacked by raptors and go into hiding. Nick manages to call for help after reaching the radio station. After a fight with the raptors, they reunite with Nick, and fly away in a rescue helicopter that Nick had contacted earlier. Flying away, they spot the caged Tyrannosaur and Ludlow preparing to ship it and its child back to the mainland. However, Roland resigns his post after his friend Ajay’s death in the raptor attack.

When the ship carrying the dinosaur arrives in San Diego, it crashes into the dock. Ludlow and some guards investigate the boat, find the entire crew dead. A guard opens the cargo hold, thinking there might be some crew members below (despite Malcolm’s warnings), inadvertently releasing the Tyrannosaurus, which escapes into the neighborhood, then into the city, and creates havoc. Realizing that the creature will likely come for its infant, Malcolm and Sarah ask Ludlow where the infant is. He reveals to them that it is hidden in the Jurassic Park amphitheater. They rush to the amphitheater to get the baby. They lure the adult with the baby and run back to the boat. Ludlow tries to intervene, but is trapped in the cargo hold and devoured by the Tyrannosaurus. Malcolm and Sarah manage to tranquilize the adult before it can escape again and seal it in the hold. By morning, Kelly watches television reports of the cargo ship on its way back to Site B, surrounded by a convoy of naval vessels. The program breaks away to an interview of restored InGen Chairman John Hammond, who explains that the island will now be left alone as a natural reserve so the dinosaurs can live free of human interference, and says “Life will find a way” (Malcolm had used this sentence in the first film).

REVIEW:

I’ve always thought that if you were going to make a sequel, let it move the story forward, or else don’t bother. Does The Lost World: Jurassic Park do that, or was this nothing more than a cash grab?

Well, seeing as how Michael Crichton, was all but forced to write a sequel novel so that they could make this film, I’d say this was a cash grab.

This film is much darker, and arguably scarier, than the first film. The change in tone does nothing but make things more confusing, at least for me it did.

Jurassic Park was a film that left the audience in amazement, what with the sweeping cinematography, magnificent dinosaurs, and the majestic music. All these pieces came together to make that film the huge success that it still is today.

With this film, the plot is sort of the same thing, but they more or less took a page out of King Kong. They bring the dinosaurs back to the mainland, away from the place where they haven’t been bothered at all, only to use them as a spectacle, and it backfires on them. What goes around, comes around, eh?

I actually don’t have that much of a problem with borrowing that plot device, since it makes sense. My main issue with the film is how they did some wonky writing. What I mean by that is that none of the characters are written in a way so that we feel anything for them, save for Dr. Hammond, and maybe Sarah.

Even the villains are just there. Hell, there is one guy that just seems to want to be a sadistic douche and torture a pack of tiny dinosaurs. Something that comes back to get him later on. Nothing wrong with that, but those were his only two scenes. It was like they just shoved them in there, but for what reason?

This may be more of a criticism of Crichton, than the filmmakers, but why on earth would you build the film around the cynical Malcolm, especially when you consider he isn’t even really a scientist, but rather a theorist. Then we have the issue with his daughter. You may notice a slight difference in skin color. This is fine, and I’m sure they didn’t want anyone to notice it, but curiosity makes one wonder about her mother, or if she was just adopted, or something else.

The acting in this film is quite inferior to its predecessor. It would be easy to blame the script, but I actually think that this is just bad acting, even by such talented thespians as Julianne Moore and Peter Stormare.

Yes, Julianne Moore is in here, but there is a reason you never hear her talk about this role. Sure, it is a strong female lead and all that jazz, but other than that, she’s might as well be as cliché as any other strong woman we’ve seen running around the jungle. The only thing missing was her being all sweaty and wearing a tank top, short shorts, and boots.

If there was a bright spot for this cast, it had to be Vince Vaughn, who brought some much needed levity to what would otherwise be a dark and nearly unwatchable picture.

The special effects are vastly improved from the original. Amazing what 4 or 5 years can do, huh? Add on the use of different dinosaurs, such as the stegosaurus (my favorite), and you can’t help but stare in awe and wonder if these prehistoric creatures actually looked this way when they ruled and roamed the earth.

The action in this unnecessary sequel seems to be, shall we say, forced upon us. That is, it seems as if they put in action scenes just to appease the public, not move the story along. Not only is this obvious, but it hurts the story, at least in my opinion.

So, what is the final verdict on The Lost World: Jurassic Park? The story is not bad (could be better), neither are the special effects, but the rest of the film is hit or miss. This makes it nothing more than just an average flick. Such a shame when you consider how amazing the first was. Do I recommend seeing this? Well, if you’re watching the whole trilogy, then you have no choice, but for everyone else, I would say that if you must see it, catch it on AMC or some other station on TV. Chances are it’ll be on sooner or later.

3 out of 5 stars

Nobel Son

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Eli Michaelson (Alan Rickman), a self-involved chemistry professor, learns he has been awarded the Nobel Prize. After verbally abusing his wife, son, colleagues, and nominal girlfriend, he heads off to Sweden with his wife, Sarah (Mary Steenburgen), to collect his award. His son, Barkley (Bryan Greenberg), misses the flight.

Barkley Michaelson has chosen to study not chemistry but anthropology, and this perceived failure triggers constant torrents of abuse from his father. His missing the flight, though, is the apparently innocent result of having been kidnapped by the deranged Thaddeus James (Shawn Hatosy), who claims to be Eli Michaelson’s son by the wife of a former colleague. Thaddeus successfully obtains a ransom of $2 million, which he then splits with Barkley, who, it appears, has orchestrated the kidnapping to obtain money from his father.

Shortly after Barkley’s release, Thaddeus rents a garage apartment from the Michaelsons and begins to charm Eli with his knowledge of chemistry. Barkley undertakes a campaign of psychological terror aimed at Thaddeus and his girlfriend, performance artist City Hall (Dushku). This ultimately results in the death of Thaddeus and commitment to a mental hospital for City.

Meanwhile, Barkley kidnaps Eli and threatens to expose the scientific fraud that lead to Eli receiving a Nobel prize that he did not deserve. Eli’s long suffering wife, Sarah, demands a divorce while praising her son for his devious behavior.

In the final scenes, Sarah, Barkley, and Sarah’s police detective boyfriend, Max Mariner (Pullman) are seen on a tropical beach. Mariner appears to have been in the dark through most of the movie, but has figured out towards the end that he wants to be with Sarah and can live with the theft of $2 million from her scoundrel husband. Eli is seen in his classroom unrepentantly flirting with another student. He has lost his wife, son, and the money, but it’s unclear whether he still has his Nobel Prize.

REVIEW:

Someone in this household has an obsession with Alan Rickman, so in order to appease her, we watched this film, Nobel Son, this evening.

Labeled as a thriller, this film somehow flies off into dark comedy territory. The twisted tale involves things such as a professor having many sordid encounters with his students, fingers being chopped off, mind games, and a hint of cannibalism.

If any of these things make you squirm, then this is most likely not the film you should be watching. Having said that, there are some parts that will entertain even the most hardened of skeptics and the story involving a son with his daddy issues really keeps one interested.

The kidnapping aspect of this film seems to be a major part of the film, but after the son is retrieved, it seems to be all but forgotten, but a rather interesting plot twist sort of makes up for it.

Alan Rickman shines as the slimy, egotistical professor. He may be a classically trained Shakespearean actor, but these dry humor roles are what really allow him to shine.

The rest of the cast is just there as a compliment to him, except for the actual star of the picture, Bryan Greenberg, who is more or less there to be the focal point of the picture.

Although he isn’t bad in this role, chances are 5 minutes after the credits roll you’ll have forgotten all about him and that really is the big problem with this picture. Outside of Rickman and the twisted nature of this picture, it is quite forgettable.

The final verdict on Nobel Son is that it is nothing more than an average film that doesn’t know whether it wants to be a thriller/suspense film or comedy. If it would have been able to actually decipher the genre it wanted to fit in, then maybe it would have been able to be more coherent in its writing. That being said, it isn’t that bad of a film, just not one that you should go out of your way to watch. If you’re a Rickman fan, though, you’re more than likely enjoy.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Batman: Year One

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Bruce Wayne returns home to Gotham City from training abroad in martial arts, man-hunting, and science for the past 12 years, and James Gordon moves to Gotham with his wife, Barbara, after a transfer from Chicago. Both are swiftly acquainted with the corruption and violence of Gotham City, with Gordon witnessing his partner Detective Flass assaulting a teen for fun.

On a surveillance mission in the seedy East End, a disguised Bruce is propositioned by teenaged prostitute Holly Robinson. He is drawn into a brawl with her pimp and is attacked by several prostitutes, including dominatrix Selina Kyle. One of the two reporting police officers shoot and take him in their squad car, but a dazed and bleeding Bruce maneuvers his handcuffed hands in front of himself, and demands the police get out. The cops try to subdue him, but the ensuing struggle causes the police car to careen out of control, and flips. Bruce flees, but not before dragging the police to a safe distance. He reaches Wayne Manor barely alive and sits before his father’s bust, requesting guidance in his war on crime. A bat crashes through a window and settles on the bust, giving him inspiration.

Gordon works to rid corruption from the force, but on orders from Commissioner Gillian Loeb, several officers attack him, including Flass, who threatens Gordon’s pregnant wife. In revenge, Gordon tracks Flass down, beats and humiliates him, leaving him naked and handcuffed in the snow.

As Gordon becomes a minor celebrity for several brave acts, Batman strikes for the first time, attacking a group of thieves. Batman soon works up the ladder, even attacking Flass while he was accepting a bribe. After Batman interrupts a dinner party attended by many of Gotham’s corrupt politicians and crime bosses, including Carmine “The Roman” Falcone, Loeb orders Gordon to bring him in by any means necessary.

As Gordon tries in vain to catch him, Batman attacks Falcone, stripping him naked and tying him up in his bed after dumping his car in the river. Assistant district attorney Harvey Dent becomes Batman’s first ally, while Detective Sarah Essen and Gordon, after Essen suggested Bruce Wayne as a Batman suspect, witness Batman save an old woman from a runaway truck. Essen holds Batman at gunpoint, but Batman disarms her and flees to an abandoned building.

Claiming the building has been scheduled for demolition, Loeb orders a bomb dropped on it, forcing Batman into the fortified basement. A trigger-happy SWAT team led by Branden is sent in, whom Batman attempts to trap in the basement. They soon escape and, after tranquilizing Branden, Batman dodges as the rest open fire, barely managing to survive two bullet wounds. Enraged as the team’s careless gunfire injures several people outside, Batman beats the team into submission and, after using a device to attract the bats of his cave, escapes amid the chaos. Selina Kyle, after witnessing him in action, dons a costume of her own to begin the life as costumed thief Catwoman.

Gordon has a brief affair with Essen, while Batman intimidates a drug dealer for information. The dealer comes to Gordon to testify against Flass, who is brought up on charges. Loeb blackmails Gordon against pressing charges with proof of his affair. After bringing Barbara with him to interview Bruce Wayne, investigating his connection to Batman, Gordon confesses the affair to her.

Batman sneaks into Falcone’s manor, overhearing a plan against Gordon, but is interrupted when Catwoman, hoping to build a reputation after her robberies were pinned on Batman, attacks Falcone and his bodyguards, aided by Batman. Identifying Falcone’s plan as the morning comes, the uncostumed Bruce leaves to help.

Gordon tries to rebuild the relationships with his family after Essen leaves Gotham. While leaving home, Gordon spots a motorcyclist enter his garage. Suspicious, Gordon enters to see Johnny Vitti, Falcone’s nephew, and his thugs holding his family hostage. Gordon shoots the thugs and chases Vitti, who has fled with the baby. Bruce Wayne, on a motorcycle, also rushes to chase Vitti. Gordon blows out Vitti’s car tire on a bridge and the two fight, with Gordon losing his glasses, before Vitti and James Gordon Jr. fall over the side. Bruce leaps over the railing and saves the baby. Gordon realizes that he is standing before an unmasked Batman, but says that he is “practically blind without [his] glasses,” and lets Bruce go.

Gordon ends with a final monologue: “It turns out that Flass had more evidence than we could keep track of. If there’s one good thing Flass ever did, its put Loeb behind bars. Now, I have been promoted to captain. This guy just threatened to poison the reservoir. Calls himself ‘The Joker’. Got a friend coming over to help. Should be here any minute.” Gordon is standing on a rooftop in the final two sentences, implying that his “friend” is Batman.

REVIEW:

For those of you not familiar with the Batman mythos, Batman: Year One was a graphic novel that told the story of what it was like in that first year as the bat. If I’m not mistaken, elements of that book were used in or as the basis for Batman Begins.

No, this is not an origin story. As a matter of fact, the film starts with Bruce Wayne returning from his 12 yr absence from Gotham City. If you must call this an origin story, it does seem to center on James Gordon, but he only goes from Lt. to Capt., still  a ways from commissioner.

I have to say that I like the animation style they used for this film. It is reminiscent of the 90s Batman cartoon. Actually, now that I think about it, it might be closer to The Batman which aired in the middle part of the last decade.

While I liked the animation, I do have one qualm. Where was the color in the eyes? What I mean by that is each of the characters seemed to have flesh colors corneas. I can live with this, but at the same time, it sort of seemed as if the ink and paint department ran out of white or something.

The story is a little watered down from the pages of the book, which is fine. I mean, this is supposed to be a bit more “universally friendly” than the dark, violent version that can be found in the original format (which you should check out if you get the chance). Did this dilute the impact this film should have had? I don’t really think so. The parts that were taken out and/or changed to appeal to a broader audience. As one review stated, “… a stellar adaptation…almost verbatim at times”.

I read somewhere that this was a very violent adaptation. Truth be told, I think the 90s animated series was more violent. That being said, I think this is probably the darkest animated version of the bat to date that I’ve seen (I hear Gotham Knights is pretty close to the Christopher Nolan version, though).

The voice casting is ok, but I wasn’t impressed. I guess I’m just spoiled with Kevin Conroy as Batman, but at least Benjamin McKenzie didn’t feel the need to do the Christian Bale thing with his voice.

It has been some time since I’ve read this, but I don’t particularly remember the Catwoman angle being such a major part of it. I guess they figured it would be something viewers would want to see more of. Having said that, her short (a special feature on the DVD) isn’t half bad, though it doesn’t quite have the same punch as some of the other DC animated shorts.

So, chances are, unless you’re a fan of comic book films, you couldn’t give a flip about this. That point aside, you might want to check this out. You’d be surprised at the depth of these characters and the story, as well. Batman: Year One is actually a damn good animated flick. It isn’t perfect, but it is worth watching!

4 out of 5 stars