Wieners
PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):
Fran Kranz stars as Joel, a guy who has recently been dumped by his girlfriend (on the advice of an abusive television therapist Dr. Dwayne, played by Darrell Hammond), sending him into a spiral of depression. His two friends, Wyatt (Kenan Thompson) and Ben (Zachary Levi), take him on a road trip to lift his spirits and take revenge on Dr. Dwayne. The friends take their trip in Wyatt’s van, which he has customized into a cross-country hotdog stand in an attempt to impress Oscar Meyer and get a job with them. On the way, they encounter an elderly nymphomaniac couple who had a sexual intercourse in front of them. After being dropped off, they realized their wallets are stolen by three women, leaving them with only ten dollars delivered to Wyatt in a 15-year-old birthday card from his grandmother. They use this money to enter en into a hot bod contest, which Ben had a flashback on which his mother constantly yells at him to work hard in competition. After getting advice from a man Walrus Boy, he wins, getting $10,000 for the prize. As they approach their destination, Joel abandons his friends in a fit of hopelessness, winding up drunk in a back alley. His childhood tormenter, Drake Hanswald (Andy Milonakis), appears in a hallucination, and Joel watches helplessly as his younger self is tormented by Drake and all of his other classmates. Realizing that he needs to change his situation and stand up for himself, Joel returns to his friends just in time to save them from the hippies who had previously stolen Wyatt’s hood ornament. The next morning they go to the studio where Dr. Dwayne’s show is filmed and sneak in. After beating up Dr. Dwayne’s decoy, the real Dr. Dwayne appears, revealing that he intentionally caused Joel’s breakup to motivate Joel to take a stand for himself. He also reveals that he has found a rich man that Wyatt had saved from a life of drugs, who is willing to finance Wyatt’s Wieners. Ben makes a speech to the audience and accepts his homosexuality. Now that the friends have all achieved what they needed, they head home, and we learn that Wyatt’s Wieners became the 4th most successful pre-packaged meat company in the U.S. and that he lives in a hotdog-shaped house with his dachsund named Beyonce. Ben went on to become a successful lawyer and cologne designer, and that he currently lives with his “roommate” Johnathan and his two cats. Joel invented “unpantsable” pants, and the three friends take the Wienerwagon on a road trip every year to spread cross-country happiness.
REVIEW:
As usual, I have found a film that few, if any, have even heard of. Usually, when I do this, said picture is about as horrible as one can get. Is this the case with Wieners?
Well, the plot of tis film is 3 loser friends…well, 2 are losers, the other is the semi cool guy who keep them out of trouble. You know the type. Anyway, one of the losers is in funk because he was dumped on national television by his fiancée. The other loser has been rejected by Oscar Meyer 12 times, so he goes out and buys a wiener truck so that he can go around the country selling hot dogs in an attempt to prove himself to the company. Needless to say, this leads to many random adventures, occurrences, and what not along the way.
I have to say that while I thought this was going to be the most horrific films I’ve seen in the past few months, it did have some moments that had me laughing out loud. That being said, it also had some moments that were just like WTF?!?
Having a nice concept just isn’t enough. The script just didn’t work for me, neither did the cast. On their own, they may have worked better, but the chemistry of the three leads didn’t gel. On top of that, Darrell Hammond’s Dr. Dwayne seems to be a watered down mutation of his Bill Clinton impression with a sprinkle of Dr. Phil. Don’t even get me started on Jenny McCarthy’s over the trop random appearance…or why they even go to see their old teacher in the hopes of getting some.
There is also this rivalry with some kind if vegan truck that results is the hood ornament being stolen (and somehow it learns to talk along the way). I’m still pondering whether this was good or bad.
Final verdict on Wieners? Well, now I want a hot dog, that’s for sure. The film itself is surprising in that it isn’t totally horrible, but at the same time, it could have been so much better. There are enjoyable elements, and you are sure to at least get a chuckle here and there, but then there are moments that will remind you why you haven’t heard of this film before now. Do I recommend this? Eh…if you just want a semi-raunchy comedy, then sure, go ahead, but don’t go out of your way to see it.
2 3/4 out of 5 stars
