Primitive Love

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

“Doctor” Jayne Mansfield is in Italy to show a peer her documentary about mating customs from around the world while at the same time having to deal with two bellhops who have an idea or two about mating with Jayne

REVIEW:

Jayne Mansfield is a goddess. It really is a shame that her career went down the tubes and she was relegated to film work in Italy. Many of these films were not that great.Primitive Loveis one of these subpar outings.

I’m a huge Jayne Mansfield fan, but even I had trouble finding something good about this. Even Jayne’s little strip tease at the end couldn’t make up for it. The major issue with this film, though, is that is more of a documentary with secondary plot around it. Kind of like the Disney film, Saludos Amigos.

The footage they use is ok, but you have to wonder how bad off the studio was to not be able to come up with something better than this, or an actual movie!

I will say though, Jayne looked hot as always and the comedic duo of Franco and Cicci, while annoying at times, did keep this film watchable.

I don’t know, this is another bad film of Jayne’s I’ve seen. I still hold pat to the belief that she is a better actress than Marilyn, but I can now see why she isn’t as popular. Primitive Love seems to be just something she agreed to for a paycheck without actually reading the script beforehand. I can’t recommend this to anyone, unless you’re like me, a huge Jayne Mansfield fan…and even then, I’d be hesitant. This is not a good film, but as bad as it is, it still is better than some of the horrid thing that are released these days.

2 1/3 out of 5 stars

Justice League: Doom

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film revolves around Vandal Savage’s plot to exterminate the greater part of the human population and start a new civilization. To ensure that the Justice League is unable to stop him, Savage hires Mirror Master, who hacks into the Batcomputer and steals contingency plans devised by Batman to incapacitate his League teammates should they ever go rogue. Savage assembles a group of supervillains with personal vendettas against the heroes and pays them richly to simultaneously attack the members of the League using these plans, albeit altered to be lethal.

The villains each do their part to take out the Justice League:
Batman is informed by Alfred Pennyworth that the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne have been exhumed and are missing. When Bruce Wayne arrives at his parents’ graves, he is ambushed by Bane. The emotional distraction is enough to grant Bane the upper hand and render his adversary unconscious. Bruce is then placed into his father’s coffin which is reburied. He wakes up to the horrifying prospect of dying of asphyxiation next to his father’s corpse.
The Martian Manhunter (in his human identity of John Jones) is celebrating his birthday with his colleagues from the police force. He receives a drink from a mysterious woman (who is actually Ma’alefa’ak in disguise). The drink is laced with magnesium carbonate, which is poisonous to Martian biology. The Manhunter’s body is capable of curing itself, but only by sweating out the magnesium which is highly flammable. Ma’alefa’ak uses a lighter to set his enemy on fire (J’onn’s only weakness), leaving him to burn alive without the possibility to extinguish the flames.
Wonder Woman is attacked by Cheetah who scratches her arm, sending nanomachines into her bloodstream. The microscopic machines attach themselves to her brain stem and begin broadcasting directly into her visual and auditory sensors. This fools Wonder Woman into thinking that everyone she sees is a duplicate of Cheetah. The illusion is designed to exploit her competitive nature, by sending her into a never-ending battle. Since she would never surrender, she will force herself to fight until her body gives out, thanks to the drugs the nanomachines were carried in, causing her to suffer an epileptic seizure or a heart attack.
The Flash is lured into a trap by Mirror Master who pretends to be robbing a train. The villain then uses a hologram of an elderly woman to create the illusion that he had a hostage. The whole scenario is only intended to trick the Flash into placing his arm into a booby trap that attaches a bomb to his wrist. The bomb will explode and kill everyone within three miles if the hero tries to remove it or if he does nothing. The only way to prevent the explosion is to run and never decelerate, but even the Flash cannot run forever.
Green Lantern is called upon by the FBI to deal with a group of terrorists who have taken hostages into a salt mine. However the truth is that both the terrorists and the hostages are sophisticated androids. The entire setting is part of a complex deception that fools Green Lantern into thinking that innocent lives are lost due to his overconfidence. The hero is also exposed to a synthesized version of the Scarecrow’s fear gas that undermines his will. Finally, Star Sapphire shows up and exploits his fears convincing him that he does not deserve the power he wields. Green Lantern renounces his ring without which he cannot escape from the collapsed salt mine. The weakened hero resigns to his fate.
Superman is lured to the roof of the Daily Planet by a disillusioned former employee named Henry Ackerson, who aims to commit suicide by either jumping off or shooting himself. Superman tries to talk him out of it, and appears to have succeeded, when Ackerson unexpectedly shoots the hero instead. It is then revealed that the suicide ploy was meant to trick Superman into lowering his guard, that the former employee was being impersonated by Metallo, and that the bullet was made of Kryptonite, the only material that can harm Kryptonians. A fatally wounded Superman falls from the top of the building.

Batman comes close to accepting his fate but, motivated by the memory of his father’s murder, is able to dig his way out of the grave. He soon realizes that the League has been attacked using his own contingency plans. With help from Cyborg, he saves his teammates one by one.

The Justice League retreats to the Watchtower, where Batman reveals that he was the real mastermind behind the attacks, having studied the others for physical and psychological weaknesses. However, he also had a contingency in place should the Batcomputer ever be hacked: a tracing algorithm hidden in his files. This enables the League to track down the Legion of Doom.

The villains are subdued, but the heroes fail to prevent Savage’s scheme to orchestrate an apocalyptic cataclysm with a powerful solar flare. Using information obtained by Cyborg, Batman devises a last minute plan and the League barely manages to save the Earth. The World Court sentences the immortal Vandal Savage to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

In the aftermath of their victory, the Justice League votes to add Cyborg to their roster. Superman calls for a vote on Batman’s continued membership in the team, following the revelation of the latter’s breach of trust. However, Batman defends his plans and expresses no regret over his actions, resigning himself before the vote can be held.

In the final scene, Superman entrusts Batman with the Kryptonite bullet, agreeing with the concept of having safeguards in place should the League members ever fall to villainy or mind control – but not without first questioning him about Bane’s attack. It is revealed that exhuming the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne was entirely Savage’s idea. Superman asks Batman why he wouldn’t create a contingency plan for the event that he himself might go rogue. Batman replies he did; saying “It’s called the Justice League”.

REVIEW:

Before all the talk of The Avengers kicks into high gear next weekend, I figured this would be the perfect time to check out their DC counterpart, the Justice League by watching their newest release Justice League: Doom. Hate to disappoint some of you, but don’t hold your breath for a live action Justice League film anytime soon, for numerous reasons I won’t bother mentioning, other than saying Christopher Nolan has said his Batman “doesn’t play well with others”.

Putting that thought aside, this film has almost everything you would want from your Justice League films. What worked?

Voice acting. As someone who is a big fan of the DC Animated universe, I always love it when they bring in the best known voices such as Tim Daly as Superman, Bruce Conroy as Batman and newer voices that have made names for themselves such as Nathan Filion as Green Lantern. There is something to be said about continuity. Such a shame these people can’t always reprise these roles. Some of the people who follow them aren’t close to stacking up.

The story. This comes from a story arc in the comics that I’m not too familiar with, but they seem to do a goof job condensing what was no doubt a lengthy series into a full length animated feature. Sure, I can imagine that things were left out, but it doesn’t seem to make for a less entertaining tale.

Cyborg. Sure, we all know about the big characters, Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and The Flash (no clue where Aquaman and Hawkman were, though), but it is good to bring in some new blood. Most people are familiar with him from Teen Titans, but just as Robin is a different character in Young Justice than the one in that show, the same goes for Cyborg. Take your pick of which you prefer, but they are both great. Unfortunately, I kind of get the feeling they stuck him in there to be the “token black guy” (although, it appears that Martian Manhunterfills that role in his human form).

The villains. These aren’t exactly the arch-enemies, but they are pretty high up on each hero’s villain board. Having said that, it is good to get a break from the likes of Lex Luthor, the Joker, Sinestro, and their ilk.

What didn’t work.

Character design. For some reason, every character seemed to look alike. Bruce Wayne looked exactly like Superman, for instance, and they both had that Young Justice design that I don’t really have a problem with, but just didn’t seem to work here. Also, Wonder Woman’s headband thingy seemed to come down a bit far on her forehead. That just irked me.

Pacing. The pacing is fine, but in the last 10-15 minutes, there seems to that feeling of we need to hurry and wrap this up. Such a shame since things were moving along at such a nice steady tempo. I actually think they could have taken a few more minutes to develop the final conflict(s) a bit better.

Justice League: Doom definitely goes down as one of the best DC Animated films. There is very little that is wrong with this picture. If there are studios plotting to unleash a live action Justice League film on us, then they should get some ideas from this. I highly recommend this to all the superhero lovers out there. It is a must see!

4 3/4 out of 5 stars

This is the Army

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In World War I, the musical Yip Yip Yaphank is a rousing success. During the show, it is learned that the troop has received its orders to ship off to France, and thus the end number is changed so that the soldiers march through the theater with their rifles and gear and out into the waiting convoy of trucks. Jones kisses his new bride on the way down the aisle.

In the war, several of the soldiers in the production are killed. Jerry Jones is wounded in France, by shrapnel during a German artillery barrage. He loses the full use of one of his legs, ending his career as a dancer and must walk with a cane. Nevertheless he is resolved to find something useful to do. Sgt. McGee and Pvt. Eddie Dibble,the bugler also survive.

Twenty-five years later, with World War II raging in Europe, Jones’ son Johnny enlists in the Army shortly after Pearl Harbor is attacked. He tells his sweetheart that they cannot marry until he returns, since he doesn’t want to make her a widow. He grudgingly accepts the order to stage another musical, just as his father did. The show goes on tour around the United States and eventually plays in front of President Roosevelt (Jack Young) in Washington, D.C.. During the show, it is announced that the Washington, D.C. performance will be the last night, and that afterwards the soldiers in the production will be ordered back to their combat units.

Johnny’s erstwhile fiancée, who has since joined the Red Cross auxiliary, appears at the show. During a break in the show, she brings a minister and convinces them that they should marry – which they do, in the alley behind the theater, with their fathers as witnesses.

REVIEW:

During WWI and WWII, it was very common for studios to forgo conventional films in favor of military propaganda type flicks and package features. This is the Army is somewhat of a mixture of those two sub-genres.

There isn’t much to be said about this film, really. There is a plot, but it is not even worth mentioning. The star of the film is the music of Irving Berlin and his love for the men and women who were serving overseas.

I believe I read that this film was his idea. Of  course, there is also the little matter than this is a mixture of two of his musicals.

While still on the topic of Berlin, he makes an appearance at the film’s end singing a haunting tune, “Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning”. Sometimes it is great to see the composer perform his own work.

Something else that should be noted is that a young Ronald Regan, who was actually in the Army at the time has a small role in this film.

I do have an issue with the way this film presents itself. At first, it seems like your usual musical, military film, but as it goes on, the plot thickens into some odd drama that takes away from the great music of Berlin, and just ruins the picture for me.

This is the Army isn’t something to go out of your way to see, but it is decent enough. No, I don’t recommend it, but that isn’t because of it being a bad film, but rather because today’s audiences won’t relate or enjoy something like this. Yes, it is a shame, but there you go.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars