Hop

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

On Easter Island, a young rabbit named E.B. (Russell Brand) is intended to succeed his father, Mr. Bunny (Hugh Laurie), as the Easter Bunny. Intimidated by the calling’s demands, E.B. runs away to Hollywood to pursue his dream of becoming a drummer. Mr. Bunny sends his three ninja royal guards, the Pink Berets, to find his son. Meanwhile, Easter Chicks Carlos and Phil (Hank Azaria) plot a coup d’état against Mr. Bunny to take over the Easter organization.

Wandering through Van Nuys, E.B. is hit by Fred O’Hare (James Marsden), an out-of-work, job-hopping slacker (who is being pressured by his family to “get a job”) who was driving to his sister Sam’s (Kaley Cuoco) boss’s house he’s housesitting. Feigning injury, E.B. persuades Fred to take him in as he recovers, but when E.B. causes trouble Fred attempts to abandon him in the wilderness. E.B. persuades the human to help him by claiming to be the Easter Bunny, whom Fred saw in operation in his youth. The rabbit sees the Berets closing in on him and hides inside a business where Fred is having job interview. E.B. enjoys a successful recording session with the Blind Boys of Alabama as their substitute drummer, but ruins Fred’s job interview. In the process, E.B. gets a tip about a possible audition for David Hasselhoff, who invites him to perform on his show.

Afterward, Fred attends his adopted younger sister Alex’s (Tiffany Espensen) Easter school pageant with E.B. hiding in a satchel. E.B., alarmed that the Pink Berets have apparently found him due to the three bunny suit shadows on a wall and disgusted by Alex’s awful rendition of Here Comes Peter Cottontail, dashes out and disrupts the show. Fred feigns a ventriloquist’s act with the bunny’s cooperation as his dummy and they lead the show in singing, “I Want Candy”. Both his father, Henry (Gary Cole), and Alex, are angry about the upstaging but Fred is inspired to be the Easter Bunny himself. E.B. is skeptical but he agrees to train the human and finds that Fred has some genuine talent for it.

As the Pink Berets close in on him, E.B. prepares a decoy to fake his death and leaves for Hasselhoff’s show. The Berets see the decoy and, horrified that the human has apparently killed E.B., capture Fred and take him to Easter Island. Fred is held captive and confronted by Mr. Bunny and Carlos about killing E.B. Carlos pretends to be upset about E.B.’s death, silences Fred (who tries to reveal the truth of the decoy) and seizes control of the Easter factory.

Meanwhile, at the Hoff Knows Talent live show, E.B. is in his dressing room preparing for his performance but his reflection begins to berate him for leaving Fred. Just then a production assistant (also played by Russell Brand) arrives to tell him that he is next to perform. E.B. leaves his dressing room and begins to feel guilty about leaving Fred so he discusses the situation with Hasselhoff, who advises him to go back and help his friend. E.B. finds evidence of Fred’s capture and races back to the factory. He confronts Carlos, but is immobilized in gummi candy and tossed into the chocolate bunny carving line. Fred and Mr. Bunny are tied up with black licorice and are to be boiled alive. Fred manages to free himself and Mr. Bunny by eating away the licorice and E.B. survives by dodging the blades. Carlos, now a chick-bunny combination due to Easter magic, engages battle with E.B. and defeats him easily due to his size and then tries to lead the Egg sleigh out with Phil directing via lighted wands.

To stop the launch, E.B. improvises a drum session. Uncontrollably driven to dance to the beat, Phil provides the wrong signals, causing a crash and Carlos is subdued. After being defeated, Carlos is made to pull the Egg sleigh and Phil is made the new head of the Easter Chicks. E.B. and Fred are made co-Easter bunnies and take over the job. Fred’s family is now proud that he has a job and responsibilities.

In the post-credits, E.B. and Fred are in China delivering an Easter basket to the same woman who had previously attacked Mr. Bunny earlier in the film.

REVIEW:

I know what you’re going to say. Why am I reviewing Hop when Easter has come and gone already. I don’t really have an answer for that other than I just wanted to check out something animated.  I’m not so sure that it wouldn’t it have been a better choice to watch something…anything…else.

What did I like?

Story. We’ve heard billions of stories about Santa Claus, but the Easter Bunny hasn’t been so lucky. The only thing we get is that he hope around the world hiding Easter eggs and delivering baskets of candy. It was nice to see him get some exposure.

Real actors. The live actors did a great job, even with this subpar material, of making the audience believe they actually cared.

Easter. Everything you know and love about Easter, with the exception of the religious stuff, is somewhere in thie films. They even mention Peeps, well marshmallow chicks, but it’s the same thing. these just can’t mention an actual brand.

What didn’t work for me?

Russell Brand. This guy has worn out his welcome, as far as I”m concerned. For me, he’s funny in small doses, or as a specific character, such as Aldous Snow. This film is already struggling to keep my attention without him showing up and being his annoying self. I will say that the short 15 seconds where he encounters his live action counterpart was nice, though.

E.B. As with many films of this nature, the character we’re supposed to love is nothing more than annoying, which makes you want to hate them. This is especially true with E.B. since he costs Fred a job by screwing up his interview. Remember the days when a character like this would be all warm, nice, and not annoying?

Evil chicks. Now, I want to give them props for not making the villain some jealous sibling, but chicks? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? Why not a jealous Cupid or feud with leprechauns? Maybe some ornery veterans who don’t like Easter being such a big deal while Memorial day is just forgotten (ironic, isn’t it?). On another level, why did the chicks have to be Hispanic when everyone else sounds like they’re British? Something just seemed off about that to me.

I’m so glad I didn’t hop out to see Hop when it was originally released. I’m likely to come out of that theater demanding my money back. This film is bad, not horrible, but bad. I do not recommend it, but if you happened to come across it somewhere, it won’t be a loss to check it out. Hopefully, the next animated film I watch will be worth the time!

2 2/3 out of 5 stars

 

10

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

During a surprise 42nd birthday party for George Webber, a well-known composer of popular music, he finds himself coping badly with incipient middle age. When he catches a glimpse of a mysterious woman en route to her wedding, he is instantly obsessed by her beauty, and – despite the presence of his lover Samantha Taylor – follows the woman to the church where he crashes into a police cruiser and is stung by a bee. George visits the priest, and learns that the woman is Jenny Miles, daughter of a prominent Beverly Hills dentist. Later that night, Sam and George have an argument about George’s failure to give her the attention she needs, his use of the term “broad”, and the fact that he and his neighbor (a wealthy porn producer) watch each other perform carnal acts using telescopes. The final straw for Sam occurs when George makes a remark subtly impugning her femininity at which point Sam leaves in a huff.

The following day, George and Sam suffer a series of mishaps that prevent them from reconciling, including George spying on his neighbor until hitting himself with his telescope and falling down an embankment, causing him to miss Sam’s phone call. In addition, George schedules a dental appointment with Jenny’s father, and while in the dentist’s chair, subtly leads the dentist into disclosing that his daughter and her husband went to Mexico for their honeymoon. The examination also reveals a mouthful of cavities, requiring the dentist to spend the entire afternoon inserting fillings in George’s teeth. The after effects of the novocaine, which are aggravated by his heavy drinking immediately after, leave him completely incoherent and when Sam finally reaches him on the phone she mistakes him for a madman and calls the police. The police storm his house, but recognizing him they leave amicably. He visits his neighbor’s house to take part in an orgy just as Sam arrives at his house, and she spots him through his telescope, widening the rift between them.

Later, George impulsively follows the newlyweds to their exclusive hotel in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico. In the bar, George encounters an old acquaintance, Mary Lewis, who suffers from a lack of self-confidence because she blames herself for a series of failed relationships. When they attempt a fling that night, she interprets George’s inadequacy in bed as confirmation of her insecurities despite her better-than-average looks and easygoing disposition.

One hot day at the beach, George sees Jenny – suntanned and dressed in a one-piece swimsuit and her hair braided in cornrows - which furthers George’s obsession. He notices that David, Jenny’s husband, has fallen asleep on his surfboard. Pretending to inquire about renting a surfboard, George learns that beyond a certain point are powerful currents that can sweep a swimmer or surfer dangerously far from land. George rents a catamaran, clumsily but successfully rescues David, and becomes a hero. Both Sam and his songwriting partner see him on TV Network News and Sam tries to call him, but George (unaware that it is Sam) refuses the call. David, badly sunburned, stays in the hospital, allowing Jenny and George to spend time alone together, culminating in Jenny seducing him to the sounds of Ravel’s Boléro.

Although George is initially elated to find all of his fantasies being fulfilled, he is horrified when Jenny takes a call from her husband while in bed with him and casually informs him of George’s presence. He is even more confused when David responds with a complete lack of concern (he had called to thank George for saving his life). When Jenny explains their open relationship and mutual honesty, George is appalled; with the thrill of enjoying forbidden pleasures extinguished, he loses interest in Jenny and he heads back to Beverly Hills.

At the end of the film, he reconciles with Sam by demonstrating a new maturity and, taking an idea from Jenny, he starts Ravel’s Boléro on the phonograph and they make love with the music playing in the background. This is in full view of the neighbor’s telescope shortly after the neighbor has walked away in disgust, complaining that he has had enough of providing erotic entertainment to George and getting nothing in return.

REVIEW:

In all the classic films I’ve seen, the 70s seem to be an era that I tend to overlook. I don’t really know why, but that is just the way it is. In an effort to rectify this, I decided to give a film I’ve been putting off again and again a shot, 10. I’m sure you’ve heard of this film, or at least how it made a star of the perfect female specimen, Bo Derek (there is a reason this is called 10, after all).

What did I like?

Perfection. The title doesn’t lie. Bo Derek is a 10, maybe even an 11, as Dudley Moore’s character categorized her.. Kudos to the casting directors for going with an unknown actress, rather than trying to force a “name” actress whose looks were overrated.

Where is the cheese? Every romantic comedy I’ve seen has been pure cheese, but for some reason, this film breaks with tradition and actually presents a decent story without getting cheesy, or overly dramatic.

Classical gas. I’m a fan of classical music, so the whole scene where Jenny and George are discussing such classical composers as Ravel and Prokofiev was a sheer treat for me. I know it probably bored or confused just about everyone else that watched this, but it was one of the highlights of the flick for me.

Gratuitous natural debauchery. Like most men of today’s society, I am a fan of full, bouncy breasts. However, there is an abundance of naked women in this film, and every one of them has a cup size that is a small C or below, I would wager. Nothing wrong with that at all. Sometimes the natural way is the best way, though I do question the fact that there couldn’t have been one or two fuller cupped women around.

What didn’t I like?

Why? I will never question Julie Andrews’ acting talents. Hell, they even found a way to let her sing in this film without it becoming a musical. However, I just don’t see why they would choose her when they could have gone with someone else who seems to be more cut out for this kind of role. I’m sorry, I just didn’t care for her here.

Dudley do Wrong. I will never be president o the Dudley Moore fan club, of that there is no question. I did find his performance to be a bit more controlled that in those Arthur films, however. I still found him to be a bit grating. Hell, I’ll just say it…annoying. Can this guy play anything besides a rich guy who has everything and is in some sort of love triangle?

WWRD? When Ravel composed “Bolero” in the 1920s, I doubt he had in mind that it would be used as sex music, yet that is exactly what they have reduced it to. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to listen to it the same way again. They have literally ruined a truly great musical masterpiece, one that I spent quite some time studying in college.

Hair today, gone tomorrow. I have to wonder, why exactly Bo Derek had her hair in braids. If there is a flaw in her sheer perfection, that’s what it was. Why, oh why did they have to do that to her hair. Even more, why have it that way for the entire flick?!?

What did I ultimately think of 10? Well, it isn’t exactly a summer popcorn flick, but it is enjoyable. No, it isn’t laugh out loud funny, but there are scenes that will make you giggle, or at least smile. I liked it, but didn’t love it. Do I recommend it? Yes, there is no reason you shouldn’t at least give it a shot. Check it out sometime!

3 3/4 out of 5 stars