The Sea Hawk

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film begins with King Philip II of Spain (Montagu Love) declaring his intention to destroy England and after this “puny rockbound island as barren and treacherous as her Queen” is out of the way, he believes that world conquest will follow: he says his great wall map, one day, “will have ceased to be a map of the world; it will be Spain.” He sends one of his courtiers, Don Alvarez (Claude Rains), as his ambassador to allay the suspicions of Queen Elizabeth I (Flora Robson) about the great armada he is building to invade England. In England, some of the Queen’s ministers plead with her to build a fleet, which she hesitates to do in order to spare the purses of her subjects.

The ambassador’s ship is captured en route to England by the Albatross and her captain, Geoffery Thorpe (Errol Flynn). Don Alvarez and his niece, Dona Maria (Brenda Marshall), are taken aboard and transported to England. Thorpe is immediately enchanted by Dona Maria and gallantly returns her plundered jewels. Her detestation of him softens as she too begins to fall in love.

Don Alvarez is granted an audience with the Queen and complains about his treatment; Dona Maria is accepted as one of her maids of honour. The “Sea Hawks”, a group of English privateers who loot Spanish ships for “reparations” appear before the Queen, who scolds them (at least publicly) for their piratical attacks and for endangering the peace with Spain. Captain Thorpe finally appears and proposes a plan to seize a large caravan of Spanish gold in the New World and bring it back to England. The Queen is wary of Spain’s reaction, but allows Thorpe to proceed.

Suspicious of Thorpe’s expedition, Lord Wolfingham (Henry Daniell), one of the Queen’s ministers (and a secret Spanish collaborator), sends a spy to try to discover where the Albatross is really heading, but to no avail; the courtiers are told that Thorpe is going on a trading expedition up the Nile River in Egypt. Upon visiting the chartmaker responsible for the chart for Thorpe’s next voyage, Don Alvarez and Lord Wolfingham determine that he is really sailing to the Isthmus of Panama and order Don Alvarez’s Spanish captain to sail ahead to set up an ambush. When the Albatross reaches its destination, part of her crew seizes the caravan, but they fall into a well-laid trap and are driven into the swamps. Thorpe and a few others survive and return to their ship, only to find it in Spanish hands. Thorpe and his crew are returned to Spain, tried by the Inquisition, and sentenced to the galleys for the rest of their lives. In England, Don Alvarez informs the Queen of Thorpe’s fate, causing his niece to faint. The Queen and Don Alvarez exchange heated words, and she expels him from her court.

On the Spanish galley, Thorpe meets an Englishman named Abbott who was captured trying to uncover evidence of the Armada’s true purpose. Through cunning, the prisoners take over the ship during the night. They board another ship in the same harbor, where an emissary has stored secret incriminating plans. Thorpe and his men capture both and sail back to England with the plans in hand.

Upon reaching port, Thorpe tries to warn the Queen. A carriage bringing Don Alvarez to the ship which, unbeknownst to him, Thorpe had captured, also brings his niece. Don Alvarez boards the ship and is held prisoner, while Captain Thorpe, dressed in the uniform of a Spanish courtier, sneaks into the carriage carrying Dona Maria, who has decided to stay in England and wait for Thorpe’s return. The two finally declare their love for each other, and Maria helps Thorpe in sneaking into the palace. However, Lord Wolfingham’s spy, who had escorted the ambassador and his niece, spots Thorpe and alerts the castle guards to stop the carriage and take Thorpe prisoner. Thorpe escapes and enters the Queen’s residence, fending off guards all the while. Eventually, Thorpe runs into Lord Wolfingham and kills the traitor in a sword fight.

With Dona Maria’s assistance, Thorpe reaches the Queen and provides proof of King Phillip’s intentions. Elizabeth knights Captain Thorpe for his gallantry, with Dona Maria present, and declares her intention to build a great fleet to oppose the Spanish threat.

REVIEW:

I was asked earlier this year to maybe think about throwing in some classic swashbuckler films, preferably with Errol Flynn. So, to honor that request, I dug out one of Flynn’s not-so-well-known pictures, at least to modern audiences, The Sea Hawk. I have to say that this film left me underwhelmed compared to similar pictures of the time.

What is this about?

Hired on by Queen Elizabeth (Flora Robson), buccaneer Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe (Errol Flynn) loots and pillages the Spanish fleet and the New World colonies while sailing the high seas, but is stopped in his tracks when he attacks a vessel and lays eyes on beautiful Doña Maria (Brenda Marshall). Thorpe is captured, but escapes to warn England of the advancing Spanish armada in director Michael Curtiz’s swashbuckling adventure.

What did I like?

Swashbuckling. In the heyday of cinema, an action flick like this didn’t require gigantic set pieces and huge explosions to be impressive. Instead, the focus was on the acting, story, and most importantly, the action. A simple, choreographed, sword fight went a long way towards making a film memorable, believe it or not. Flynn was one of the best, at least that I’ve seen, at making these fights exciting and not come off as a couple of guys dancing with toy swords.

Fake. Audiences back then may not have realized it, but today we look at the set of this film and pick apart every obvious fake prop, from the pool the boats are in to the painted backdrop, to the styrofoam rocks. Thing is, though, I actually like stuff like that. There is a certain charm, if you will, that is one of the reasons I like old films so much better than the new ones. The fake props show imagination. Something that typing in a couple of program sequences into a computer will never show.

What didn’t I like?

Pacing. It seems with all classic action films, they are longer than they need to be with very slow pacing. With that in mind, they usually tell a great story, I just wish there was something to light a fire under them and get things going to the last 10-15 minutes when things pick up and we get some action.

Music. Please note that my issue with the music is not that it is bad, but that this is literally just recycled from another film starring Flynn, Captain Blood. You know, the one they watch in The Goonies, remember? If this was a sequel, I would have any issues. Look at the Star Wars and Harry Potter franchises, they recycle music all the time, but its all in the same universe, if you will. As far as I can tell, these are two totally different films that have the same music.

When I decided to watch The Sea Hawk this evening, I didn’t know what to expect, other than some kind of pirate/privateer film starring Errol Flynn. For what it is, one can’t really complain, but it doesn’t compare to previous Flynn films I’ve seen. There is a drop off in terms of quality and entertainment that hampers this, but it still is worth checking out sometime. For me, it wasn’t great, but it has some pretty good moments near the end.

3 1/3 out of 5 stars

From Russia with Love

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

SPECTRE’s expert planner Kronsteen devises a plot to steal a Lektor cryptographic device from the Soviets and sell it back to them while exacting revenge on Bond for killing their agent Dr. No. The Spectre Number 1 puts ex-SMERSH operative and Number 3 Rosa Klebb in charge of the mission. Klebb recruits Donald “Red” Grant as an assassin, and Tatiana Romanova, a cipher clerk at the Soviet consulate in Istanbul, as an unwitting pawn, as Romanova thinks Klebb is still working for SMERSH.

In London, M tells Bond – agent 007 and sometimes simply ’007′ – that Romanova has contacted their “Station ‘T’” in Turkey, offering to defect with a Lektor, which MI6 and the CIA have been after for years – but Romanova said she will only defect to Bond, whose photo she has allegedly found in a Soviet intelligence file. Bond then flies to Istanbul, where he meets station head Ali Kerim Bey. 007 is followed from the airport by an unkempt man in glasses and by Red Grant. The next day, after Kerim Bey’s office is bombed, Bond and Kerim Bey spy on the Soviet consulate, where Kerim Bey sees rival agent Krilencu. At night, Kerim Bey and Bond go to a rural gypsy settlement, which suffers an attack by Krilencu’s men, who wound Kerim Bey and nearly kill Bond, who is saved by a hidden Red Grant. On the following night, Kerim Bey kills Krilencu with Bond’s sniper rifle. When Bond returns to his hotel suite, he finds Romanova in bed waiting for him, unaware that they are being filmed by SPECTRE.

The next day, Romanova heads off for a pre-arranged rendezvous at Hagia Sophia. The bespectacled man who followed Bond to the airport tries to intercept Romanova’s floor plan of the Soviet consulate, but is killed by Grant. Upon finding the body, Bond takes the floor plan, and brings it to Kerim Bey to devise their invasion. After stealing the Lektor, Bond, Romanova, and Kerim Bey escape with the device on the Orient Express. On the train, Kerim Bey and a Soviet security officer named Benz are killed by Grant, who makes it appear as if they killed each other. At Zagreb, Grant leaves the train and boards it again to meet Bond, pretending to be agent Nash from “Station ‘Y’”. He drugs Romanova at dinner, then overcomes Bond. Grant taunts him, boasting SPECTRE has been pitting the Soviets and the British against each other, and claims that Romanova thinks that “she’s doing it all for mother Russia”. Grant also mentions the film of Bond and Romanova at the hotel suite, saying that after both are killed, Grant will plant it in her handbag along with a forged blackmail letter so it looks like it was a murder-suicide. Bond tricks Grant into opening Bond’s attaché case in the manner that detonates its tear gas booby trap in his face, allowing Bond to attack him. In the ensuing struggle, Bond eventually manages to stab Grant with the knife hidden in the attaché case, and strangles Grant to death with his own garrotte. At dawn, Bond and Romanova leave the train, hijack Grant’s getaway truck, destroy an enemy helicopter, and drive to a dock, eventually boarding a powerboat.

Number 1 is very unhappy, and summons Kronsteen and Klebb. He reminds them that SPECTRE does not tolerate failure, and brings in agent Morzeny to then execute Kronsteen with a poisoned spike in the toe of his shoe. Number 1 tells a frightened Klebb that she now has total control of the mission and has one last chance. Klebb sends Morzeny after Bond with a squadron of SPECTRE’s boats. Morzeny nearly catches Bond, but the agent sets his pursuers’ boats on fire with a signal flare. Bond and Romanova reach Venice and check into a hotel. Rosa Klebb, disguised as a maid, attempts to steal the Lektor. She gets the drop on Bond, and attempts to kill Bond with both a gun and her poisoned toe-spike, but ends up being shot by Romanova. Riding in a gondola, Bond throws the film of him and Romanova into the water as they are rowed away.

REVIEW:

I’m hoping that by the time the next James Bond film comes out, I will have watched them all. There is still awhile before that happens, though. From Russia with Love is the second in the franchise and one that many people rank as on of the best, especially of the older films. Is it worth of such high praise, though?

What is this about?

James Bond is back — and so are the bullets, beauties and bad guys. You’ll be shaken and stirred by Sean Connery’s second outing as 007, which finds him paying the price for his previous adventure when SPECTRE seeks revenge for Dr. No’s death.

What did I like?

Gadgets. One of the things that the Bond franchise is known for is the gadgetry. In Dr. No, we didn’t really get to see any, but that was the first film and didn’t have as much of a budget. In Bond’s second outing, the studio upped the ante and allowed for the gadgets to be seen and used. I’m sure that in subsequent films, these devices will take on an even bigger role.

Tale of revenge. With the death of Dr. No in the previous film, one has to have known that there would be repercussions for Bond. At its core, this film is a vengeance movie. The villains are motivated by one thing and one thing only…avenging their fallen comrade. There is a little bit of world domination in there, as well.

Script. I have to take a moment to praise the script. Not only is there snappy dialogue, but it has its comedic moments without changing the tone of the film. It takes some real talent from both the actors and the writers to accomplish such a tremendous feat, one that has allowed this film to stand the true test of time.

What didn’t I like?

Editing. I didn’t really notice any editing issues until the very last scene when Bond is on a boat. While he is talking, there is a sudden camera shift. For such a well-crafted film, this mistake is unforgivable. Sure, it may seem like a small thing, but it is more than noticeable. How did they let this slip through to the final film?

Too many cooks in the kitchen. A common problem with films that involve criminal organizations is that they tend to focus on too many of them. For what it is worth, that problem isn’t as bad as in some superhero flicks, for instance. With that said, there were just too many villainous forces at work here. All that was really needed was the mysterious leader, the arch-villain carrying out the plan, and a “named” henchman.

From Russia with Love provided me with a good enough time, but I didn’t feel like it was something that I’ll be looking back and saying it was one of the best Bond pictures. I do think that more of what we know Bond for today was set up here than in its predecessor. Do I recommend this? Yes, there is no reason to not check this out, unless you are one of those dumkopfs that has an aversion to old movies or films that have a lighter tone. Check this out when you get the chance!

4 out of 5 stars

Easter Parade

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 1912, Broadway star Don Hewes (Fred Astaire) is buying Easter presents for his sweetheart, starting with a hat and some flowers (“Happy Easter”). He goes into a toy shop and buys a cuddly Easter rabbit, after persuading a young boy to part with it and buy a set of drums instead (“Drum Crazy”). Hewes takes the gifts to his dancing partner, Nadine Hale (Ann Miller), who explains that she has an offer for a show that would feature her as a solo star. Don tries to change her mind and it looks as if he has succeeded (“It Only Happens When I Dance With You”), until Don’s best friend, Johnny (Peter Lawford), turns up. Nadine reveals that she and Don are no longer a team and it becomes obvious that Nadine is attracted to Johnny.

Angry, Don leaves to drown his sorrows at a bar. Johnny follows him and tries to persuade him to talk to Nadine, but to no avail; Don brags that he does not need Nadine and that he can make a star of the next dancer he meets. After Johnny leaves, he picks out one of the girls dancing on the stage, Hannah Brown (Judy Garland), and tells her to meet him for rehearsal the next day. Hannah then performs a duet, singing a musical number with a member of the band (Norman S. Barker) on trombone, “I Want to Go Back to Michigan.” The next morning, Don tries to turn Hannah into a copy of Nadine, teaching her to dance the same way, buying her dresses in a similar style and giving her an “exotic” stage name, “Juanita.” However, Hannah makes several mistakes at their first performance and the show is a fiasco.

Hannah meets Johnny, who is instantly attracted to her and sings “A Fella With An Umbrella” while walking her to her rehearsal with Don. At the rehearsal, Don, realizing his mistake, decides to start over from scratch by creating routines more suited to Hannah’s personality. Hannah sings “I Love A Piano” and she works out a dance routine with Don that proves much more successful than their earlier performance. The duo, now known as “Hannah & Hewes”, are shown to be performing “Snookie-Ookums”, “The Ragtime Violin”, and “When That Midnight Choo-Choo Leaves For Alabam’” in a montage of their performances.

At an audition for Ziegfeld Follies, where they perform “Midnight Choo-Choo”, they meet Nadine who is starring in the show. Hannah realizes that Nadine was Don’s former dancing partner and demands to know if they were in love. Don hesitates and Hannah runs out of the rehearsal where she encounters Johnny. Later, Don meets Hannah back at the hotel and reveals that he turned down the Ziegfeld offer, believing that Hannah and Nadine do not belong in the same show. Johnny soon arrives and takes Hannah out for dinner at which, after a comical routine by the waiter, Johnny reveals that he has fallen in love with Hannah. While Hannah does like Johnny, she admits she is actually in love with Don; she also admits to deliberately making mistakes when they rehearse so she can be with him longer. She and Johnny continue to have a close friendship.

Meanwhile, Nadine’s show opens and Don goes to see it (“Shakin’ The Blues Away”). He is the only member of the audience who seems unimpressed. Later on, Don goes to see Hannah and tell her that they will be starring in another show and invites her to dinner to celebrate. Hannah goes to dinner at Don’s, only to have him suggest a dance rehearsal. She is immediately upset and turns to walk out, telling him that he’s “nothing but a pair of dancing shoes” and that he doesn’t see her as a woman, but as a dancing aid. Hannah is particularly annoyed that Don doesn’t notice her new clothes and all the effort she has made for him. She tries to leave, but Don stops her and kisses her. Hannah then plays the piano and sings “It Only Happens When I Dance With You,” after which Don realizes he is in love with Hannah and they embrace.

The couple take part in a variety show, with a solo by Don (“Steppin’ Out With My Baby”) and then comes the most famous musical number in the film (“A Couple of Swells”), in which Don and Hannah play a pair of street urchins with vivid imaginations. Don and Hannah go out to celebrate after the show and end up watching Nadine perform. Nadine is mad with jealousy when the audience gives Don and Hannah a round of applause as they come in. Nadine is the star dancer in “The Girl On The Magazine Cover.” The song features an ingenious stage act, in which women appear against backdrops that look like the covers of contemporary magazines. Nadine herself appears on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar. Afterwards, she insists that Don perform one of their old numbers with her for old times’ sake, as she tries to win Don back – “It Only Happens When I Dance With You (Reprise).” When Don reluctantly agrees, Hannah becomes upset and runs out.

She ends up at the bar where she and Don first met. There she pours out her troubles to Mike the bartender (“Better Luck Next Time”). Later, when Hannah returns to her apartment, she finds Don waiting for her. Don tries to explain that he was forced to dance with Nadine, but Hannah thinks Don used her to make Nadine jealous and win her back. Don tells Hannah he’ll wait all night for her to forgive him, but just before Hannah opens the door, Don is kicked out of her building by the house detective. The next morning Hannah is telling Johnny about her and Don’s misunderstanding. Johnny says if he loved someone he would let her know it, implying that Hannah should forget the argument and be with Don. Hannah realizes that Johnny is right and goes to meet Don for their date for the Easter Parade.

Meanwhile, Don has been receiving various gifts at his apartment that morning, such as a rabbit and a new top hat, unaware that they’re from Hannah. She arrives unexpectedly at his house, as if the argument never happened. Don is a little confused by this turn of events, but decides to go out with Hannah anyway. As they walk in the Easter parade, photographers, echoing a scene with Nadine from the beginning of the film, take their pictures and Don proposes to Hannah (“Easter Parade”).

REVIEW:

Yes, I know that I’m a little late with Easter Parade since Easter was about a month ago. That isn’t my fault! Blame Netflix and their waiting system. Still, it was nice to finally get this classic musical in, since this is a watch that was long overdue.

What is this about?

Judy Garland and Fred Astaire sing and trip the light fantastic to 17 Irving Berlin tunes in this romantic classic. The simple plot concerns a hoofer (Astaire) who teams with an inexperienced chorus girl (Garland) in order to show up his former dance partner, Nadine (Ann Miller).

What did I like?

Dance, dance. Avid followers of this blog know that I have a tremendous respect for the works of Gene Kelly. As it turns out, this was supposed to have been his role, but he had to pull out because of an injury, but talked Fred Astaire out of retirement. I don’t know about you, but I’d say that was a pretty even trade. If you can’t have Kelly, Astaire is just as good, and some would argue better. The dancing scenes with him are superb, but do you really expect anything less?

Costumes. Set in the early 1900s, costumes are something that has to be top-notch. The design and scope of these outfits does not disappoint. Then again, this is an old Hollywood musical, back then they cared about putting on a show, rather than impressing a bunch of old fuddy duddy Oscar voters.

Music. Irving Berlin wrote great songs for this musical. A couple of standouts for me were “Steppin’ Out with My Baby” and the titular “Easter Parade”, but there are a bevy of other tunes to please the viewers auditory senses. Make no mistake, though, not all these songs are the greatest thing since sliced bread, but most will have you humming them for days after the end credits roll.

What didn’t I like?

Love story. There is a bit of a love story that wants to be front and center but, as with every Fred Astaire film I’ve seen, it pushed back until the very end. I believe the film could have benefited from allowing some quality time with these characters exploring their feelings for each other, rather than suddenly realizing in the last couple of minutes.

Not in Kansas, anymore. Judy Garland is a great actress. We all know that, but this isn’t her best work. Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t an indictment of her ability, but rather the way this character is written. She just isn’t given much to do. Garland deserves more, or they should have gotten a lesser actress for this role.

Overall, Easter Parade was a pretty good time. It wasn’t the best musical I’ve seen, and I felt that had Gene Kelly actually been able to star in it, it would have been that much better. This is a film that should be seen by everyone, so maybe next year around Easter, how about giving it a shot?

4 out of 5 stars

The Wiz

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

A Thanksgiving dinner brings a host of family together in a Harlem apartment, where a 24-year-old schoolteacher named Dorothy Gale (Diana Ross) lives with her Aunt Em (Theresa Merritt) and Uncle Henry (Stanley Greene). Extremely introverted, she has, as Aunt Em teases her, “never been south of 125th Street”, and refuses to move out and on with her life.

While Dorothy cleans up after the meal, her dog Toto runs out the open kitchen door into a violent snowstorm. She succeeds in retrieving him, but finds herself trapped in the storm. A magical whirlwind made of snow – the work of Glinda, the Good Witch of the South – materializes and transports them to the Kingdom of Oz. Upon her arrival, Dorothy smashes through an electric “Oz” sign, which falls upon and kills Evermean, the Wicked Witch of the East. As a result, she frees the Munchkins who populate the playground into which she lands; they had been transformed by Evermean into graffiti for “tagging” the park walls.

Dorothy soon meets the Munchkins’ main benefactress, Miss One, the Good Witch of the North (Thelma Carpenter), a magical “numbers runner” who gives Evermean’s powerful silver slippers to her. However, she desperately wants to get home. Miss One urges her to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City and find the mysterious “Wizard” who she believes holds the power to send Dorothy back to Harlem. The good witch and the Munchkins then disappear and she is left to search for the yellow brick road on her own.

The next morning, Dorothy happens upon a Scarecrow (Michael Jackson) made of garbage, whom she befriends. The two of them discover the yellow brick road and happily begin to follow it together; the Scarecrow hoping the Wizard might be able to give him the one thing he feels that he lacks — a brain. Along the way to the Emerald City, Dorothy, Toto, and the Scarecrow meet the Tin Man (Nipsey Russell), a turn-of-the-century amusement park mechanical man, and the Cowardly Lion (Ted Ross), a vain dandy banished from the jungle who hid inside one of the stone lions in front of the New York Public Library. The Tin Man and Lion join them on their quest to find the Wizard, hoping to gain a heart and courage, respectively. Before the five adventurers reach the Emerald City, they must face obstacles such as a crazy subway peddler (a homeless man) with evil puppets in his control and the “Poppy” Girls (a reference to the poppy field from the original story), prostitutes who attempt to put Dorothy, Toto, and the Lion to sleep with magic dusting powder.

Finally reaching the Emerald City (an analogue of the real-life World Trade Center plaza), the quintet gains passage into the city because of Dorothy’s ownership of the silver shoes and marvel at the spectacle of the city and its dancers. They gain an audience with the Wizard (Richard Pryor), who appears to them as a giant fire-breathing metallic head. He will only grant their wishes if they kill Evillene (Mabel King), the Wicked Witch of the West, who runs a sweatshop in the sewers of New York City. She learns of their quest to kill her and sends out the Flying Monkeys (a motorcycle gang) to kidnap them.

After an extended chase, the Flying Monkeys succeed in capturing their prey and bring them back to Evillene. She dismembers the Scarecrow, flattens the Tin Man, and tortures the Lion in hopes of making Dorothy give her the silver shoes. When she threatens to throw Toto into a fiery cauldron, Dorothy nearly gives in until the Scarecrow hints to her to activate a fire sprinkler switch which she does. The sprinklers put out the fire but also melt Evillene. She is flushed down into her toilet. With Evillene herself gone, her spells lose their power: the Winkies are freed from their costumes (revealing humans underneath) and their sweatshop tools disappear. They rejoice in dance and praise Dorothy as their emancipator and the Flying Monkeys give her and her friends a triumphant ride back to the Emerald City.

Upon arriving back at the Emerald City, the quartet takes a back door into the Wizard’s quarters and discovers that he is a “phony”. The “great and powerful Oz” is actually Herman Smith, a failed politician from Atlantic City, New Jersey, who was transported to Oz when a balloon he was flying to promote his campaign to become the city dogcatcher was lost in a storm. The Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion are distraught that they will never receive their respective brain, heart, and courage, but Dorothy makes them realize that they already have these things. Just as it seems as if she will never be able to get home, Glinda, the Good Witch of the South (Lena Horne), appears and implores her to find her way home by searching within and using her silver shoes. After thanking Glinda and saying goodbye to her friends, she takes Toto in her arms, thinks of home and the things she loves most about it and, after clicking her heels, finds herself back in her neighborhood. She, now a changed woman, carries Toto back to their apartment and closes the door.

REVIEW:

How many people in 1978, were wondering what it would have been like to have an African-American version of The Wizard of Oz, complete with a funky soundtrack? Well, whoever those people were, they got their wise with The Wiz.

What is this about?

Motown’s Oscar-nominated take on L. Frank Baum’s ageless tale stars Diana Ross as Harlem schoolteacher Dorothy, who exits a family gathering to search for her lost pooch, Toto, gets caught in a blizzard and is transported to the magical land of Oz.

What did I like?

Different. Whether you love or hate the direction the filmmakers went with this story, you can’t deny that this is the same tale we all know and love. Everything is here, the yellow brick road, wicked witch, the friends along the way, flying monkeys, Oz, etc. I guess this was just a different time, when things didn’t have to be changed for the sake of change.

MJ. It should come as no surprise, but Michael Jackson was arguably the best thing about this film. I’m not too crazy about his being the Scarecrow, but you can’t deny that he is quite entertaining, including arguably the best song of the film. On the acting front, one has to wonder why Michael wasn’t in more films. He obviously had the talent, but I guess the scripts weren’t right.

What didn’t I like?

Music. With a couple of exceptions and the funky 70s vibe going on throughout, the music in this film is quite painful to listen to. The songs are forgettable, with the exception of “Ease on Down the Road” and “I’m a Mean Old Lion”, and just make you wonder what Motown was thinking allowing these songs to see the light of day.

Too old. Diana Ross was not mean to play Dorothy. She is too old, and it shows, but somehow she got the role and caused a director change before filming started because of it. I won’t say that Diana has no chops, because she does, as we say in Lady Sings the Blues, but let’s be real…this is a role for someone younger.

Waste of talent. A couple of things bothered me. First, if Diana Ross is going to be in this thing, then let the woman sing. As it is, she sings 1 1/2 songs, and that’s it! If this was because she wanted to do more acting, then that is one thing, but this is a musical, let her flex those pipes. At this point in time, she was one of the best around. Second, Richard Pryor, who is still one of the funniest comedians to take the stage doesn’t really get to be funny. Similar to Diana, if you’re gonna cast someone like that, then let them do what makes them special, not just have them there reading some lines!

I remember the first time I saw The Wiz. I wasn’t too crazy about it because it felt like a bad acid trip gone horribly wrong. My opinion has not changed, but after recently seeing Oz: The Great and Powerful, I was inspired to watch it again. Would I suggest this to anyone? That is a hard one, but I have to say no, as there isn’t enough going for it to merit a recommendation. That being said, there are a some moments in here that are enjoyable. That’s what Youtube is for, right?

3 3/4 out of 5 stars

Babes in Toyland

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film begins as if it were a stage play presented by Mother Goose (and her wise-cracking, talking goose companion, Sylvester) about two nursery rhyme characters, Mary, Mary Quite Contrary and Tom the Piper’s Son, who are about to be married. At the same time, the miserly and villainous Barnaby is hiring two crooks, Gonzorgo and Rodrigo, to throw Tom into the sea and steal Mary’s sheep, thus depriving her of her means of support, and forcing her to marry Barnaby instead. (Mary has just come into a huge inheritance of which she is obviously unaware, but somehow–it is never explained how–Barnaby knows about it and intends to get it for himself.) After bopping Tom on the head with a hammer and tying him in a bag, the two henchmen, dimwitted Gonzorgo and silent Roderigo, pass by a gypsy camp. They decide to sell Tom to the Gypsies instead of drowning him in order to collect a double payment.

Gonzorgo and Roderigo return and tell Mary, Barnaby, and the citizens of Mother Goose Land that Tom has accidentally drowned. They show Mary a phony letter in which Tom tells her that he is abandoning her for her own good and that she would be better off marrying Barnaby. Mary, believing she is destitute, reluctantly accepts the proposal from Barnaby. Barnaby unknowingly arranges for the same gypsies that have Tom to provide entertainment for the marriage. Tom, disguised in drag as the gypsy Floretta, reveals himself and Barnaby pursues the frightened Gonzorgo and Roderigo, furious at their deception. One of the children informs Mary of some sheep tracks leading into the Forest of No Return.

The children, still eager to find their sheep, sneak away into the forest to search for the missing sheep. The trees of the forest come to life and capture them. Tom and Mary follow and find the children in the forest telling stories about the live trees, which, at the moment, seem like ordinary ones. They camp out for the night, and in the morning the trees once again come to life and inform the family that they are now in custody of the Toymaker in Toyland. Excited by this, the group happily continues on, escorted part of the way by the trees.

Through the windows of The Toymaker’s house they watch the Toymaker’s rather incompetent apprentice, Grumio, present a new machine that makes toys without any manual labor. Overjoyed, the Toymaker speeds up the machine to such a high rate that it explodes, destroying every toy in the factory. The family comes in and offers to help make more toys in time for Christmas.

Grumio also presents another invention, one that shrinks things down to toy size, and if it were used on anything more than once, the shrunken object would disappear completely. Barnaby, who had been spying on everyone, shrinks down the Toymaker and Tom. When Barnaby’s henchmen see him threatening to give Tom two servings of the shrinking formula, they abandon Barnaby and run. They, too, are shrunken to toy size and locked up with Tom in a birdcage.

Barnaby awakens Mary and starts a marriage ceremony threatening to destroy Tom if she resists, and to destroy the Toymaker if he refuses to marry the couple. While the Toymaker delays the marriage Tom sneaks away with the help of Gonzorgo and Roderigo, and returns with an army of toy soldiers to fight Barnaby. Barnaby easily demolishes the toy soldiers, and is about to obliterate Tom with another dose from the shrink gun, but Mary destroys it with a toy cannon. The liquid splatters all over Barnaby, and shrinks him to Tom’s new size. He is challenged to and engages in a sword duel with Tom which he loses. (Whether or not he is killed has been debated; in the film, Tom seems to stab him and he falls with a scream from a great height into a toy box, from which he never emerges nor makes any sounds as if he were trying to escape. Movie tie-ins, however, showed him merely backing into a giant chest accidentally and then being imprisoned in the birdcage in which he once imprisoned Tom.)

After the fight is over, Grumio once again presents a new invention, this time returning people to their original size. It is promptly used on Tom, The Toymaker, Gonzorgo and Roderigo, but not on Barnaby. Tom and Mary are married and everyone lives happily ever after

REVIEW:

On Monday, we lost a true screen legend in Annette Funicello. Babes in Toyland may not be her most memorable work, but I have already run through all the beach films that are currently available.

What is this about?

Composer Victor Herbert’s operetta comes delightfully to life in this 1961 fantasy starring Annette Funicello as Mary Contrary, whose fiancé, Tom Piper, (Tommy Sands), is abducted by a pair of goons. It seems that dastardly Mr. Barnaby (Ray Bolger) — who covets Mary and her inheritance — dispatched the thugs to get Tom out of the picture. When the dim-bulb duo double-crosses the boss, it sets off a search for Tom and a slew of comical chases.

What did I like?

Fairy tale. With all the re-imaginings and whatnot going on with fairy tales today, it is very hard to remember what the innocent stories are like. Thank goodness this film was made at a time long before this unfortunate fad started, or was even conceived. Seeing all these fairy tale characters, actually it was more nursery rhyme peoples, living together in a community and acting as you or I is something that we just don’t expect to see.

Mad Hatter. Ed Wynn was a comic genius during his day. The timing in his delivery and jus screen presence was enough to make him a star, but his voice, facial expressions, and physical comedy are what kept people coming back to see him. From what I’ve seen of the guy, this is some of his finest work, short of The Mad Hatter, which was nothing more than a voice.

Barnaby. The villain here is one twirly mustache away from being the epitome of a stereotypical villain. He’s dressed in black, will do anything it takes to steal the girl, lives in a castle up on the hill, has a big hat, etc. Ray Bolger does a great job bringing this guy to life and not taking it too serious. He seems to be having fun as the bad guy. Almost as much fun as he did in previous roles he’s played. Kudos to anyone that can tell me what iconic character he’s played.

What didn’t I like?

Imitators. There is a version of this film that stars Laurel & Hardy. I’m not sure if they play the same characters, but there a couple of guys that are obviously trying to fill in as some sort of ersatz Laurel & Hardy, and not very well, mind you. Also, as with the beach films, Tommy Sands is Annette’s love interest. This is the guy they seem to pair her with when Frankie Avalon isn’t available.

Music. Apparently, Disney changed many of the song, even going so far as to take many out. This rarely end well, and in this case, I think it really hurt the film as there isn’t a single selection here that is memorable. As a matter of fact, after the first couple of tunes, I was getting annoyed with all the singing. Not a good sign for a musical!

Annette. If I wouldn’t have gotten this specifically for the purpose of seeing Annette Funicello, this might not have been so obvious, but I wasn’t really impressed with her acting. She seemed to be a scared little schoolgirl and not because that is what her character called for her to be. I won’t say she sucked, because I’ve seen much worse acting, but I think it is safe to say she may be a little overrated, at least in this film.

Babes in Toyland is a film that many people seem to hold in high regard. I really don’t see why. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty to like about this film, but for me it was nothing special. Maybe one just has to be in the right mindset to enjoy this, and coming off the last film I watched, it just wasn’t meant to be. I would say that this is something you should see, as it is apparently one of the great pieces of cinema that should not be missed.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Jack the Giant Killer

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the Duchy of Cornwall of fairy tale days, the sorcerer Pendragon (Torin Thatcher) plots to gain power by abducting the Princess Elaine (Judi Meredith). To that end, he has fashioned a magic toy that is actually Cormoran the giant, and which is given to the Princess. When Cormoran seizes Elaine he takes her to a ship, but before it can sail a brave farm lad named Jack (Kerwin Mathews) slays the monster and rescues Elaine. In gratitude, King Mark (Dayton Lummis) makes Jack her protector and entrusts him to safely guide her to a convent across the sea. Pendragon learns of the plan and sends his witches to intercept Jack’s ship. Elaine is captured, while Jack and his friend, Peter (Roger Mobley) are cast overboard. An old Viking, Sigurd (Barry Kelley), rescues the two and introduces them to Diaboltin (Don Beddoe), a leprechaun imprisoned in a bottle. With the help of his new allies, Jack rescues Elaine from Pendragon’s castle. As the friends flee, Pendragon sends a two-headed giant called Galligantua along their path but Diablotin summons a monster from the sea to defeat it. As a last resort, Pendragon transforms himself into a dragon, but Jack slays him in a tense battle. With evil routed at last, all sail away to live happily ever after.

REVIEW:

Ah…the wonders of stop-motion animation! There is just something about it that warms my cold, dead heart. Jack the Giant Killer doesn’t have this technique in leaps and bounds, as I was lead to believe, but there are quite a few creatures to behold.

What is this about?

Kerwin Mathews stars as Jack, a courageous hero who rescues a princess (Judi Meredith) from the evil clutches of the wizard Pendragon (Torin Thatcher) in this Nathan Juran-directed film that melds live action with Fantascope special-effects photography. Pendragon wants to be king of Cornwall and decides the only way is to force the present ruler’s daughter to marry him, but his plans are foiled when Jack slays Pendragon’s henchman.

What did I like?

Design. The design of the characters really caught my attention. The stop motion creatures are what they are, but the film’s main antagonist, Pendragon had quite the intriguing look. I wonder if this was inspired by or was the inspiration for Marvel Comics’ villainous Baron Mordo, the archrival of Dr. Strange. When you look at him, you can’t help but think so.

Lucky Charms. Leprechauns in the movies I’ve seen aren’t exactly handing out hearts, horseshoes, rainbows, clovers, and blue moons, but rather torturing poor souls and causing mischief. This is why I felt it was a nice change to see one of these on the side of good. Too bad he could only grant 3 wishes. I would have liked to have seen what else his magic could have done.

Stop-Motion. As I mentioned in the opening, I love stop-motion animation. To me it is a very pure form of creating creatures. This isn’t the best use of the technique, but it is still a sight to behold. The giants, sea creature, and final dragon are years ahead of their time.

What didn’t I like?

Special effects. Other than the stop motion, I can’t say that I was impressed with the special effects. Not being sure of how big the budget was on this, I can’t really comment on that, but it did seem to be quite cheap looking. The scene where the witches appear is nothing more than a different filter put on the camera lens. The magic from Pendragon is just some cheap theatrics. I didn’t really care for them and thought they could have done much better.

Plot. I had trouble about halfway through keeping up with what was going on because things got so befuddled. Luckily, everything returned to a steady calm, but there had to have been a better way to get through that oh-so-dreaded middle part of the film without totally losing the audience.

Jack be nimble. Kerwin Matthews wasn’t quite a believable leading man as I’m sure the studio expected him to. Yes, he did a decent job as Sinbad in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, but if I recall that one correctly, it wasn’t the best of the franchise, so that isn’t saying much. I give the guy props for trying, and you can tell there was some actual talent there, this just wasn’t the best choice for him.

For those that don’t know, that movie that came out a couple of months ago, Jack the Giant Slayer is apparently a remake of Jack the Giant Killer. I detest and despise remakes with every fiber that is my being. Do I think this film deserves to be bastardized with a remake? No, but I am curious to see what they did with it. As far as if this is worth watching? Eh…it isn’t that great, to be honest. You’d be better off checking out one of the old Sinbad movies, rather than this, but this might keep you busy for a little over an hour, if you really want to watch.

3 out of 5 stars

The Man Who Laughs

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Taking place in England in the year 1690, The Man Who Laughs features Gwynplaine, the son of an English nobleman who has offended King James II. The monarch sentences Gwynplaine’s father to death in an iron maiden, after calling upon a surgeon, Dr. Hardquannone, to disfigure the boy’s face into a permanent grin. As a title card states, the King condemned him “to laugh forever at his fool of a father.”

The homeless Gwynplaine is seen wandering through a snowstorm and discovers an abandoned baby girl, the blind Dea. The two children are eventually taken in by Ursus, a mountebank. Years pass and Gwynplaine falls in love with Dea, but refuses to marry her because he feels his hideous face makes him unworthy. The three earn their living through plays highlighting the public’s fascination with Gwynplaine’s disfigurement. Their travels bring them before the deceased King’s successor, Queen Anne. That is when Queen Anne’s jester, Barkilphedro, discovers records which reveal Gwynplaine’s lineage and his rightful inheritance of his father’s position in the court.

Gwynplaine’s deceased father’s estate is currently owned by the Duchess Josiana and Queen Anne decrees that the royal duchess must marry Gwynplaine, as its rightful heir, to make things right. Josiana, who knows who Gwynplaine is, arranges a rendezvous and is sexually attracted to, but also repelled by the “Laughing Man” image. Gwynplaine, who has been made a Peer in the House of Lords, refuses the Queen’s order of marriage and escapes, chased by guards. He finds Ursus and Dea at the docks, sailing from England under banishment, and joins them on the boat.

REVIEW:

Other than recently rewatching The Artist a few weeks ago, it has been quite some time since I last watched a silent film. Figuring it was about that time, I decided it was time to do something about that, thus I watched The Man Who Laughs.

What is this about?

In this classic horror film based on a novel by Victor Hugo, Gwynplaine (Conrad Veidt), the son of an aristocrat, is kidnapped for political reasons and then disfigured by a gypsy surgeon, who leaves the boy’s face paralyzed in a contorted smile. He finds refuge in a traveling theatre troupe, but his lineage is eventually discovered, and he soon finds himself being pulled back into the social and political world he was taken from as a boy.

What did I like?

Story. Based on the novel of the same name, this is a film that brings it to life without resorting to mutating the source material just to make it more interesting. As far as I know, the only real change is less of the wolf, Homo, and the ending, which is more morose in the book than the film, very similar to another novel/silent film The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939).

Legacy. Conrad Veidt may not be well-known by today’s audiences, but you are sure to know a couple of characters that have been influenced by characters he has portrayed on screen, Jafar and the Joker. The character he plays here, Gwynplaine, is the basis for the Joker. Going even further, as I was watching the film, I noticed just about every incarnation of the Clown Prince of Crime, from the comics to Heath Ledger, played out. Whether that was some subconscious thing in the back of my head, or just various parts that influenced the various Jokers is debatable, but there you go.

Emotional. There is a real emotional resonance about this film, mainly tied into Viedt’s tragic portrayal of Gwynplaine. Part of this can be traced back to Hugo’s writing, who has also made us feel for characters like Quasimodo and the Phantom of the Opera, but it takes someone with real talent to bring life into a character on the big screen…in a silent film, on top of that!!! This is something we just don’t get from today’s films.

What didn’t I like?

Genre. There seems to be a great discrepancy regarding what genre this should fall in. Some say horror, some say melodrama, some say thriller. I vote for that drama/thriller. I can get the horror thing, especially if you were seeing this for the first time when it was released in 1928, but other than the creepy permanent grin, there really isn’t anything that can deemed horror in my eyes. Now, if you get creeped out by that Soundgarden video for “Black Hole Sun”, then yeah, you might want to put this in the horror bin, but I don’t really think many people would go that route.

Transition. If I’m not mistaken, this is one the last silent films, as “talkies” were on the horizon. You can hear those elements on display here as there are sound effects, and some vocals (just people screaming…which you can barely make out). This is more of a personal complaint, as I’m sure this blew people’s minds when it was initially released, but for me, when I watch a silent film, I want to enjoy the silence.

The Man Who Laughs sounded like some kind of flick that would have us following a sadistic supervillain-type. At least that’s was my first impression upon hearing it. I was wrong, but delightfully so, as I enjoyed this film immensely. I won’t recommend this to everyone, though. Not all people are into silent cinema, and that’s ok. If you are, however, then you should most definitely check this out. It is a must-see!

4 out of 5 stars

Dr. No

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

John Strangways, the British Intelligence (SIS) Station Chief in Jamaica, is ambushed and killed, and his body taken by a trio of assassins known as the “Three Blind Mice”. In response, British agent James Bond—also known as 007—is summoned to the office of his superior, M. Bond is briefed to investigate Strangways’ disappearance and to determine whether it is related to his cooperation with the American Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) on a case involving the disruption of rocket launches from Cape Canaveral by radio jamming.

Upon his arrival at Kingston Airport, a female photographer tries to take Bond’s picture and he is shadowed from the airport by two men. He is picked up by a chauffeur, whom Bond determines to be an enemy agent. Bond instructs him to leave the main road and, after a brief fight, Bond starts to interrogate the driver, who then kills himself with a cyanide-embedded cigarette.

During his investigation in Strangways’ house Bond sees a photograph of a boatman with Strangways. Bond locates the boatman, named Quarrel, but finds him to be un-cooperative. Bond also recognises Quarrel to have been the driver of the car that followed him from the airport. Bond follows Quarrel and is about to be beaten by him and a friend when the fight is interrupted by the second man who followed Bond from the airport: he reveals himself to be CIA agent Felix Leiter and explains that not only are the two agents on the same mission but also that Quarrel is helping Leiter. The CIA has traced the mysterious radio jamming of American rockets to the vicinity of Jamaica, but aerial photography cannot determine the exact location of its origin. Quarrel reveals that he has been guiding Strangways around the nearby islands to collect mineral samples. He also talks about the reclusive Dr. No, who owns the island of Crab Key, on which there is a bauxite mine: the island and mine are rigorously protected against trespassers by an armed security force and radar.

During a search of Strangways’ house, Bond found a receipt, signed by Professor R. J. Dent, concerning rock samples. Bond meets with Dent who says he assayed the samples for Strangways and determined them to be ordinary rocks. This visit makes Dent wary and he takes a boat to Crab Key where Dr. No expresses displeasure at Dent’s failure to kill Bond and orders him to try again, this time with a tarantula. Bond survives and after a final attempt on his life, sets a trap for Dent, whom he captures, interrogates and then kills.

Having detected radioactive traces in Quarrel’s boat, where Strangways’ mineral samples had been, Bond convinces a reluctant Quarrel to take him to Crab Key. There Bond meets the beautiful Honey Ryder, dressed only in a white bikini, who is collecting shells. At first she is suspicious of Bond but soon decides to help him, leading them all inland to an open swamp. After nightfall they are attacked by the legendary “dragon” of Crab Key which turns out to be a flame-throwing armoured tractor. In the resulting gun battle, Quarrel is incinerated by the flame-thrower whilst Bond and Ryder are taken prisoner. Bond and Ryder are decontaminated and taken to quarters before being drugged.

Upon waking they are escorted to dine with Dr. No. He reveals that he is a member of SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion) and plans to disrupt the Project Mercury space launch from Cape Canaveral with his atomic-powered radio beam. After dinner Ryder is taken away and Bond is beaten by the guards.

Bond is imprisoned in a holding cell but manages to escape through a vent. Disguised as a worker, Bond finds his way to the control centre, a multi-level room full of high-tech instrumentation with an atomic reactor set into the floor, overseen by Dr. No from a command console. Bond overloads the nuclear reactor just as the American rocket is about to take off. Hand-to-hand combat ensues between Bond and Dr. No; the scientist is pushed into the reactor’s cooling vat, in which he boils to death. Bond finds Ryder and the two escape in a boat just as the entire lair explodes.

REVIEW:

I cannot believe how big of a shock it has been to some of my friends that I have never seen a James Bond film. One of my resolutions this year was to see at least a couple of them, and what could be better than to begin with the one that started it all 50 years ago, Dr. No?

What is this about?

Sent to locate a colleague who’s vanished in Jamaica, debonair Agent 007 — in the first of the James Bond films — finds villainous scientist Dr. No plotting to derail the U.S. space program and take over the world.

What did I like?

Beginning. All legends have a beginning, and Bond is no exception. All the benchmarks that have come to be synonymous with Bond over the years are present. We get to hear his now infamous intro, “Bond…James Bond”, watch as all he drinks are vodka martinis shaken, not stirred, and then of course, there are the women. Gorgeous doesn’t begin to describe them!

Plot. If I’m not mistaken, subsequent Bond films go into a rather campy turn, but this one plays it straight, much like what I hear Daniel Craig has been doing with his interpretation. Personally, I think the more straightforward approach works to start this franchise off and establish the character.

Villain. A great bad guy is something that is often overlooked when one thinks of what makes a good hero. Dr. No is a great villain with a great back story and sadistic tendencies. There have been many duplicators, but only one originator. It is too bad that we don’t get more of him, but perhaps that is why he works so well. This guy is also responsible for influencing characters such as Dr. Klaw (from Inspector Gadget), Dr. Evil (from the Austin Powers franchise…note that they have the same suit), among others.

What didn’t work?

Looks can kill. Ursala Andress is a knockout in that white bikini. Other than Raquel Welch in that cave girl bikini, I think this is one of the most prominent bikini scenes of classic, if not all, cinema. It is just a crying shame that she didn’t have the acting chops to back it up. I get the feeling that they were trying to hide her inability to carry a scene, but it just wasn’t working.

Legacy. We all know about the Bond legacy and have our own ideas for what we expect. Me, I was looking for campiness and fancy gadgets, but didn’t get that. Does it hurt the film? No, but I can see some people having issue with it. A curse of this film being around so long, I’m afraid.

Dr. No serves as a great introduction to the Bond franchise. I wasn’t in love with this film, but did enjoy it, especially once it ratcheted up in the last 30 minutes. I highly recommend this to anyone looking to get started with Bond. It is always best to start from the beginning, and this starts with a bang!

4 1/4 out of 5 stars

Bathing Beauty

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In Los Angeles, popular songwriter Steve Elliott (Red Skelton) prepares to marry Caroline Brooks (Esther Williams), who has pledged to give up her job as a college swimming instructor once she has wed. Likewise, Steve plans to quit his songwriting career, even though New York producer George Adams (Basil Rathbone) has already hired him to write new songs for a water ballet show.

When George overhears Steve discussing his “retirement” with Caroline, he vows to prevent the marriage and enlists Maria Dorango (Jacqueline Dalya), an aspiring actress posing as a Latin-American singer, to help him. Moments after a justice of the peace pronounces the redheaded Steve and Caroline man and wife, Maria rushes in, claiming that Steve is her husband and the father of her three redheaded children, which she has paraded in at that moment. Although Steve pleads his innocence, Caroline storms off in a rage and returns to her teaching post at Victoria College in New Jersey. A determined Steve and his friend, Carlos Ramirez, follow her there, but are denied entrance to the all-female school.

Later, in a New York nightclub, Steve meets drunken lawyer Chester Klazenfrantz (Donald Meek) and learns that Klazenfrantz has been hired to change the charter of Victoria College, which has never officially designated itself as all-female. Armed with this information, Steve returns to Victoria and insists on applying for admission. Unaware of Caroline’s relationship to Steve, Dean Clinton (Nana Bryant) suggests to the faculty that he be admitted for a two-week probationary period, during which time they would give him 100 demerits, which would qualify him for expulsion before Parents Day.

Once enrolled, Steve tries to speak with Caroline, but she refuses to listen to his explanations and tells him she is seeking an annulment. Later, in music class, stodgy Professor Hendricks (Francis Pierlot) attempts to discredit Steve, whose presence on campus has created a furor among the co-eds, by ordering him to write his own version of the Scottish ballad Loch Lomond and teach the next day’s class. With help from several talented students, Carlos, the music teaching assistant (Ethel Smith), and Steve’s friend Harry James and his orchestra, Steve meets Hendricks’ challenge and is awarded an “A.”

That night, Steve visits Caroline at her house, but is turned out after Willis Evans (Bill Goodwin), a conservative botany professor who is in love with Caroline, arrives. When Caroline realizes that Steve is hiding in her closet, spying on her, she commands Willis’ Great Dane, Duke, to guard the closet door, while reminding Steve that unless he is in his room in five minutes, he will be expelled for breaking curfew. With only seconds to spare, Steve manages to trick the dog long enough to escape back to his dingy basement room. Steve is then visited by George, who threatens to vilify him in the press unless he finishes his songs. When Steve swears deadly revenge on the person who hired Maria, however, George backs down and offers to help Steve do his homework. Concerned about the approaching Parents Day, Dean Clinton, meanwhile, commands Steve’s professors, who have penalized him with only fifty-five demerits, to bear down on him. To that end, Mme. Zarka (Ann Codee), Steve’s ruthlessly strict ballet teacher, forces him to wear a tutu and dance with the co-eds, but Steve once again rises to the occasion.

A now desperate Dean Clinton asks Caroline to go out with Steve and ensure that he arrives back at Victoria after the curfew. Caroline agrees, but during the evening, Steve convinces her of his innocence, and as they drive back to school, the newlyweds make plans to return to California together. Unknown to Caroline and Steve, Maria is on campus, looking to expose George, who has been trying to get rid of her, to Steve. At the same time, a campus sorority descends on Steve’s room, hoping to initiate him, and Jean Allenwood (Jean Porter), another co-ed, shows up with news that her parents and Dean Clinton are on their way over to inspect his room. As Steve desperately hides all the women in two closets and keeps Caroline from discovering Maria, George unexpectedly arrives. Although Steve succeeds in hiding George and himself and fooling Dean Clinton and the Allenwoods, Maria soon makes her presence known to Caroline, who once again leaves in a fury. Later, Steve promises to write songs for George’s water ballet show on condition he make Caroline the star. George agrees, and after Maria is finally able to tell Caroline the truth, Caroline happily reunites with Steve, who then gives George a thrashing.

REVIEW:

A few weeks ago, the Olympic competition committee ruled that wrestling would no long ber an Olympic sport. I may be mistaken, but synchronized swimming is still recognized as one. How is this possible? I have no idea, but what I do know is that Bathing Beauty is the film responsible for many of the synchronized swimming scenes we see parodied today.

What is this about?

When Caroline’s (Esther Williams) wedding to Steve (Red Skelton) is interrupted by a woman claiming to be Steve’s wife, the furious bride returns to single life as a college swim instructor. Attempting to win her back, Steve enrolls as the school’s only male student.

What did I like?

Music. Netflix has this classified as a musical, but I don’t think it should be there. However, there is some great music to be heard here from the likes of Harry James, Helen Forest, Ethel Smith, and Xavier Cugat. I’m a huge fan of big bands and hearing these great musicians in their prime was a real treat. As a bonus, Harry James performed one of his signature tunes, “Trumpet Blues and Cantabile” and Xavier Cugat, who many know as the guy Ricky Ricardo hated on I Love Lucy (in real life, Cugat was Desi Arnaz’s mentor). Man, I could listen to this stuff all day!

Splish splash. I’m no fan of synchronized swimming, but I will admit that the final water ballet scene was quite the spectacle. It was hard to look away as those girls were doing their thing. To be that precise in the water had to have taken hours and hours of rigorous practice. One can’t help but respect them for that.

What didn’t I like?

Red. I like Red Skelton’s comedic stylings, but he seemed to be a hamming it up a bit too much for the camera which was quite distracting. His character would actually have been quite likable, if not for the filmmakers decision to have him overreact to the camera. Such a shame really, but maybe that was just the thing that worked during that era.

Investigate. At the wedding, some random chick shows up with three redheaded children and says she is his wife which, as you can imagine, infuriates Esther Williams’ character and causes her to overreact and storm off, without thinking and investigating. Seems to me that it would be quite obvious this was some kind of setup, but that’s an outsider looking in, I suppose.

Bathing Beauty is a feel good film that was released in the hot summer months. Who doesn’t enjoy seeing swimming and water in those hot summer months? Couple that with some great music and a fairly decent plot and this film isn’t half bad. That being said, I’m not so sure I would recommend it, mainly because it didn’t appeal to me as much as I expected it to. You’ll have to make your own decisions on this, though.

3 3/4 out of 5 stars

Road to Bali

PLOT:

George and Harold, American song-and dance-men performing in Melbourne, Australia, have to leave in a hurry to avoid various marriage proposals. They end up in Darwin, where they take jobs as pearl divers for a prince. They are taken by boat to an idyllic island on the way to Bali, (the location is unclear, but possibly in the Maluku Islands). They vie with each other for the favours of exotic (and half-Scottish) Princess Lala, a cousin of the Prince. The hazardous dive produces a chest of priceless jewels, which the prince plans to claim as his own.

After escaping from the prince and his henchmen, the three are shipwrecked and washed up on another island. Lala is now in love with both of the boys and can’t decide which to choose. Following further romantic complications, the boys participate in a traditional marriage ceremony, both thinking they’re marrying Lala. In fact, she’s being unwillingly married to the already much-married King while they end up married to each other.

Displeased with two men being married to each other, the volcano god initiates a massive eruption. After escaping it, the three end up on yet another beach where Lala chooses George over Harold. Undaunted, Harold conjures up Jane Russell from a basket by playing a flute and thinks that he’s going to get her, but she too rejects Harold, and George walks off with both Jane and Lala. Harold is left alone on the beach, demanding that the film shouldn’t finish and asking the audience to stick around to see what’s going to happen.

REVIEW:

It is rather strange that I’m beginning a franchise with the final film, but seeing as how I’m undecided about watching the others, it won’t make that much of a difference in the long run. Those  familiar with Family Guy may notice that once or twice a season, Brian and Stewie will go on an adventure somewhere. These are based on films such as Road to Bali and its predecessors.

What is this about?

The sixth and final Road movie (and the only one in color) that Bing Crosby and Bob Hope made for Paramount finds the boys acting as scuba divers in the South Pacific. It’s not long before the pair winds up on a tropical island with — who else? — Dorothy Lamour, a princess with treasure troubles.

What did I like?

Put them together. Bing Crosby and Bob Hope were stellar performers on their own, but together these guys were comic gold. They also must have been a financial success too, or else the studio would not have made six of these films. Crosby has comedic acting chops and that velvety smooth baritone voice of his, while Hope was, and still is, a god of comedy, with a decent enough singing voice to carry a tune. Truthfully, his voice may not have been that bad, but compared to Crosby, well, that’s like taking some pee-wee football player and have him do the whole tryout process with the college boys at NFL pro days.

Cameos. There are a number of cameos that should be noted, but none take away from the film’s proceedings. As a matter of fact, Humphrey Bogart’s cameo is nothing more than footage from The African Queen. Maybe someone should think about bringing back the gag cameo idea, that is if celebrities don’t think they need to be paid those exorbitant fees for maybe 10 seconds of screentime.

Self-aware. In one scene, a branch that Hope and Crosby are leaning on falls down into the river, at which point Bing says, “shouldn’t we be falling” and Hope follows it up by saying, “[sic] the studio can’t afford to let anything happen to us.” This is the mentality prevalent throughout most of the picture, all the way to the last scene before the credits roll.

What didn’t I like?

Volcano. In the 60s, it seems like anytime Americans were on the island, then they were automatically sacrifices for the volcano deity. This was made in 1952, so that wasn’t common, but I have to wonder, especially since it uses stock volcano footage, if this was one of the first to get the ball rolling with that device. Personally, I didn’t really see the need for the volcano god. It served no real purpose in moving the story forward.

Color. I’m not sure if it was the quality of Netflix streaming, my TV, or what have you, but the color seemed a bit off. It was like a new shirt that has been washed so much that the color is still intact, but when you see something the exact same color, you can tell it isn’t as brilliant as it once was. Now, the reason for this weird coloring could be something related to technology of the time, but I’m not sure.

Road to Bali is a film that Netflix has been trying to get me to watch everytime I log on. It is always one of the first things that pops up, so finally I caved in. Was it worth it, or should I have gone with another flick? Well, I enjoyed it, but I doubt that I will remember what it was about in t-minus 15 minutes. That is not to say that is wasn’t good, just nothing special. Truthfully, other than the cameos, there is nothing here that will catch your attention. As much as I would love to say you have to see this, I think it is better if you just skip it.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

A backwoodsman named Adam Pontipee and his new bride Milly agreed to marry despite knowing each other for only a few hours. On returning to his cabin in the mountains, Milly is surprised to learn that Adam is one of seven brothers living under the same roof.

The brothers have been named alphabetically from the Old Testament and in chronological order are: Adam, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel, Ephraim, Frank (short for Frankincense, the Old Testament having no names beginning with F), and Gideon. All of the brothers have red hair and are well over six feet tall, except Gideon, who is younger and shorter than his brothers.

Milly teaches Adam’s rowdy, ill-behaved younger brothers manners and social mores. She also shows them how to dance. At first, the brothers have a hard time changing from their “mountain man” ways, but eventually each comes to see that the only way he will get a girl of his own is to do things Milly’s way.

They are able to test their new manners at a barn-raising, where they meet six girls they like — Dorcas, Ruth, Martha, Liza, Sarah and Alice — and, fortunately, the girls take a fancy to the brothers as well. However, the girls already have suitors from the town, who jealously taunt the brothers into fighting during the barn-raising. At first the brothers try to resist and remember Milly’s teaching, but Adam refuses to let himself be pushed around by the rival suitors, who he sees as cowards taking advantage of his younger brothers. The rival suitors finally go too far when they attack Adam, which provokes Gideon into fighting back and a fierce brawl ensues wherein the brothers dominate their physically weaker rivals. Although the brothers do not start the fight, they are banished from the town after destroying the barn in the process.

Winter arrives, with the six younger brothers pining for their girls. Adam reads his brothers the story of “Sobbin’ Women” (taken from Plutarch’s story of the Sabine Women) and tells them that they should stop moping around and take whatever action is necessary to get their women back.

Aided by Adam, the brothers kidnap the girls, then cause an avalanche so that they cannot be followed by the townspeople. They have, however, forgotten to kidnap a preacher. Milly is furious at Adam, as are the girls at having been kidnapped. Milly consigns the brothers to the barn “with the rest of the livestock” while the girls live in the house. Adam, surprised and offended by Milly’s reaction, leaves for the trapping cabin further up the mountain to live out the winter by himself.

Months pass, and the girls vent their frustration and resentment by playing pranks on the brothers, such as hitting them with snowballs that have rocks in them. By spring the girls have forgiven and fallen in love with the brothers, who are now allowed to court them. Milly gives birth to a daughter, Hannah. Gideon rides to the cabin to inform Adam about his daughter’s arrival and asks him to come home. Adam refuses to do so, saying that he had said he would return home only when the snow had melted enough and the pass was open once more to traffic.

Having time to think about his baby daughter, Adam returns home in the spring just as the pass is opening and reconciles with Milly. As a newly responsible father, he has become aware of how worried the townspeople would be about what has happened to the girls. Realizing he was wrong to tell his brothers to kidnap the girls, Adam tells his brothers that they need to take the girls back to their homes in the town, but his brothers do not want to do so.

The girls do not want to return to their homes, either — they all want to stay at the farm with their new suitors and thus go and hide so that they will not be taken back home. When Milly discovers that the girls are not in the house, Adam tells his brothers to go after the girls and bring them back.

The townspeople arrive, with the intention of taking vengeance against the brothers for the kidnappings. Upon finding the brothers trying to force the girls to return, the fathers get the wrong impression, believing their daughters are being assaulted, and charge to their rescue. Alice’s father, who is a preacher, hears baby Hannah cry in the distance, and worries that the baby might belong to one of the girls. The fighting is finally sorted out, with the fathers, and other townsmen, rounding up the brothers and announcing that they intend to hang them.

Alice’s father asks the girls whose baby he heard. They all decide, simultaneously, to claim the baby as their own. This misinformation gives the girls and the brothers their fondest wish — the townspeople insist that all six couples marry immediately in a shotgun wedding

REVIEW:

On the surface, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers sounds like some kind of mail-order nuptial scam, or at least it did to me. Truth is, it couldn’t be further from that somewhat taboo subject. This brings to question, would it have been better going that route?

What is this about?

Set on a ranch in the Oregon Territory, this rousing musical tells the story of Adam (Howard Keel) and his six unruly brothers. Adam marries Milly (Jane Powell), who’s appalled by the motley crew and takes it upon herself to tame them. Longing to become husbands like their brother, the boys go into town and kidnap six lovely women for themselves. Not without chaos and uproar, the boys and their wives eventually find happiness.

What did I like?

Soundstage. These days, if a film is set anywhere but on location, people call it cheesy, unrealistic, cheap, etc., and immediately begin to spew hatred towards it, no matter the quality. For me, I love these old films that are obviously shot on some Hollywood studio lot. For one thing, there is a more intimate atmosphere which allows for the actors to feel more comfortable and give better performances (I’m not going to mention the fact that they were more talented back then). Second, take a look at these backgrounds sometime. It takes some real talent to paint those things and make them look so realistic.

Men were men. One of my female friends and I were talking about how gender roles have changed so much over time. Both of us are old souls trapped in today’s society. Leave it to us and the men would be out doing the working and women would be home as the doting housewife. I don’t mean that come off as some kind of chauvinist, but just take a look at the women in this film. They are the housewife types, doing the cooking, cleaning, knitting, etc., but they also don’t take any mess from the men. Speaking of the men, it is good to see some mountain men that have brains, as opposed to just being mindless brutes, like we usually see in cinema.

Strengths. The brothers and the brides were not actors when they were cast. As a matter of fact, only Russ Tamblyn, who played Gideon, and Julie Newmar, who was Dorcas, went on to successful careers, most notably as Riff from West Side Story and Catwoman from the 60s TV show, Batman, respectively. The thing I noticed, though, is that in all the dancing, singing, and fighting scenes, it seems as if the less capable were relegated to the rear. Genius on the part of the filmmakers, if you ask me, as this allows them to showcase the strengths of the cast and not showcase the weaknesses.

What didn’t I like?

Music. It isn’t that the music is bad, nor is it forgettable, but it didn’t really do anything for me. I expected at least one or two of these songs to get my blood flowing, and that just didn’t happen, which is a crime. There are a couple of rip-roaring tunes in there, but they just don’t cut the mustard, and I really hate to say that.

Little brother. Being a little brother myself, I know what it is like to get picked on by older siblings, but poor Gideon is always getting picked on and bailed out of trouble. It was almost as if they didn’t think he could do anything on his own. As I type this, though, I wonder if that is why he became the most relatable character. That is a thought, to be sure.

Dance. The brides are all dancers, but with the exception of the actual dance, I don’t believe they did any dancing. Mostly, they sat up in the house with Jane Powell’s character, knitting and getting stir-crazy. I would have liked for them to have had a song/scene where they show what they are made of. After all the boys had a couple of fight(dance) scenes.

AFI regards Seven Brides for Seven Brothers as one of the greatest musicals of all time. While I’m not quite sure I would put it in that elite company right now, I can see the potential and believe that after some time I could garner a fondness for this competent musical romantic comedy. All the pieces are here, romance, action, comedy, deception…all that was needed is murder and you have what some may consider the perfect film. For me, I enjoyed it immensely, but felt that with a few minor tweaks this could have been even better. I do think that this is a must-see before you die, though, so check it out!

4 out of 5 stars

Splash

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

As an eight year-old boy, Allen Bauer (David Kreps) is vacationing with his family near Cape Cod. While taking a sight-seeing tour on a ferry, he gazes into the ocean and sees something below the surface that fascinates him. Allen jumps into the water, even though he cannot swim. He grasps the hands of a girl who is inexplicably under the water with him and an instant connection forms between the two. Allen is quickly pulled to the surface by the deck hands and the two are separated, though apparently no one else sees the girl. After the ferry moves off, Allen continues to look back at the girl in the water, who cries at their separation. She then dives underwater again, showing her mermaid’s tail. Allen comes to believe the encounter was a near-death vision hallucination, but his bond with the mermaid proves so strong that his subsequent relationships with women invariably fail as he seeks the connection he felt with the mermaid.

Years later, Allen (Tom Hanks) is a co-owner of a wholesale fruit and vegetable business in New York City with his womanizing older brother Freddie (John Candy). Depressed after his latest breakup, Allen returns to Cape Cod, where he briefly encounters eccentric scientist Dr. Walter Kornbluth (Eugene Levy) and again falls into the sea. He wakes up on a beach where he encounters a beautiful naked woman (Daryl Hannah) who, unknown to him, is the mermaid he met as a boy (her tail transforms into legs when it becomes dry). He instantly becomes attracted to her as she had again saved him from drowning. After kissing him, she dives into the sea and leaves Allen to return home. Kornbluth, while diving in order to seek proof of strange sea creatures, also encounters the mermaid in her sea form, causing him to become obsessed with finding her again.

The mermaid finds Allen’s wallet that he dropped in the water and decides to find him in New York. She comes ashore naked at the Statue of Liberty, where she is remanded for indecent exposure much to the dismay of a group of visitors. Gaining information from Allen’s wallet, the mermaid gets released into his care. She picks up English from watching television all day and chooses the name Madison from a Madison Avenue sign. Madison is vague about where she comes from and tries to distract Allen from asking questions about her country of origin. She tells Allen that she will be in New York for “six fun-filled days when the moon is full” and if she stays longer, she can never go home again (the reason for this is unexplained, though in the Special Features of the 2004 DVD edition, there is a reference to a deleted scene in which Madison has visited a sea hag and made some sort of bargain).

Despite Madison’s occasional unusual behavior, she and Allen fall in love. Meanwhile, Kornbluth, realizing that the naked woman at Liberty Island was the mermaid he had encountered, pursues the couple, trying to expose her as a mermaid by splashing her with water. Many attempts are unsuccessful and Kornbluth ends up with multiple injuries, including a badly broken arm and whiplash. When he finally does so, Madison is taken in by government scientists led by Kornbluth’s cold-hearted former colleague and rival Dr. Ross (Richard B. Shull) for examination. However, Kornbluth regrets his actions after he learns that Madison is due to be studied and dissected, as he just wanted to prove that he wasn’t crazy.

Allen is, of course, shocked by Madison’s secret and when he denies his love for her, Freddie lashes out at him, telling his brother how happy he was with her. Finally, Allen confronts a guilt-ridden Kornbluth at the dentist, who agrees to help him.

Impersonating two Swedish scientists, Freddie and Allen enter the lab with Kornbluth and manage to smuggle Madison outside. Madison makes it back to the ocean and tells Allen that he can survive under water as long as he is with her. Allen realizes she was the young mermaid he had met so long before. The United States military arrive to recapture her for research ignoring Allen’s demands to let her be free. Although Madison warns him that if he comes to live in the sea he can’t return, he jumps into the water after her and they elude their pursuers. Together they swim along the ocean floor toward what appears to be an underwater kingdom.

REVIEW:

These days, it seems as if vampires, werewolves, and now zombies are all the rage, but in the 80s, that title belonged to mermaids. Splash was a major reason for that, followed a few years later by The Little Mermaid. Maybe they’ll make a comeback soon, who knows?

What is this about?

In Ron Howard’s first directorial hit, Tom Hanks stars as workaholic Allen Bauer, who’s convinced he can’t fall in love until he’s rescued from a boating accident by the woman of his dreams — a mermaid named Madison (Daryl Hannah). But if the world discovers Madison’s secret, it will be sink or swim for the duo.

What did I like?

Mermaid. Two things about mermaids. First off, the last mermaids I saw in a movie were in the last Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and they weren’t exactly the loving, innocent type, but rather ruthless killing machines, except the one they took into captivity, of course. Second, mermaids are typically beautiful creatures, and a young Daryl Hannah was certainly fitting of that description. In the water, she really did look like a mermaid. I read somewhere that when she was a little girl learning to swim, she learned to do so with her legs together, similar to the way they had to be in the fin. So, one can say, this is a role she’s been groomed for since childhood.

Brothers. Tom Hanks and John Candy play brothers. Hanks is the one who finds himself in love with a vampire, but it is Candy who is a scene stealer. Let’s not overlook that these are both accomplished comedians and that chemistry they have is great. Having said that, I never really bought that they were from the same gene pool, especially looking at their younger versions, but when you have talent, that is something that can be overlooked very easily.

Love story. Make no mistake, for all the comedic moments that this film has, it is first and foremost a love story. Not just any love story, but a pretty good one, at that. I’m sure the more jaded of you out there will say something about how cheesy and cliché’ it is, and that is your opinion. For me, someone who has been known to have a “black hole where my heart is”, it worked.

What didn’t work?

Doctor, Doctor. Eugene Levy plays this rather shady scientist fellow who doesn’t reveal what it is he is looking for. He manages to catch a glimpse of Madison and he begins obsessing over proving that mermaids exist, even risking bodily harm to do so. Levy is a great comedic performer, but I felt like this was a character that should have been played a bit more straight, or if they wanted to go the full-on comedic route, then he should have been that way from the beginning.

Mythology. I’m not really up on my mermaid mythology, but I do know that they weren’t exactly wiped out by anything, which brings to question why it is that we don’t see any other mermaids. Even in the flashback scene at the film’s beginning, she is a little girl mermaid and not an adult mermaid in sight (not to mention the guy that saves Allen somehow doesn’t see her…but that’s a topic for another time). At the end of the film, we do see an underwater city, but that’s it. I don’t know, I just felt as if there should have been maybe a jealous merman chasing her…maybe even a crab, seagull, and flounder watching over her (kudos if you get that reference).

Water. A bit of inconsistency bothered me a bit. When Madison gets in the tub to be a mermaid again, she had to make it salt water, yet when Dr. Kornbluth sprayed her, it was just regular water (we assume). So, the question is, is it the water that makes fin out or does it have to be salt water? My belief is she can survive in salt water, but regular water will eventually kill her, as we see when she’s in the military tanks. I could be way off and/or over thinking it, though.

Splash is a product of its time, and a really good one at that. It is no wonder so many people have such fond memories of watching this. Personally, I prefer my mermaids to be animated, headstrong Disney princesses, but Madison isn’t bad, either. The few problems I have with the film are really nitpicky. I see no reason why you shouldn’t see this as soon as you can. I highly recommend it!

4 1/4 out of 5 stars

Phantom from Space

PLOT:

Federal Communications Commission (FCC) investigators arrive in the San Fernando Valley after what appears to be a UFO crashes, causing massive interference with teleradio transmissions. During their investigation they receive witness reports of what appears to be a man dressed in a bizarre outfit. Their investigation uncovers that this is a being from outer space who is invisible. They start a massive manhunt, causing a public panic over the invisible alien running loose.

REVIEW:

Finishing up my sci-fi project a while back, I never got around to watching Phantom from Space. It isn’t like I was avoiding this film, I just didn’t have the time, but I did leave it in my queue so that I would be able to watch it at some later point in time.

What is this about?

After crash-landing on Earth, a mysterious alien (Dick Sands) accidentally kills two people and realizes he must flee. He is invisible, but the spacesuit he needs to wear so he can breathe is not, forcing him to make a dangerous choice. With the authorities closing in, the extraterrestrial peels off his suit and becomes impossible to see, but can he don his gear before succumbing to the toxic atmosphere?

What did I like?

Radiation. Of all the sci-fi alien films I’ve seen, I don’t seem to recall any of them playing up the radiation angle. What I mean by that is, these beings from other planets can’t very well be safe for us to be near, based on the fact that can’t breathe our atmosphere, for instance. Seeing humans wary of getting near the creature was a nice change of pace that I more than welcomed.

Narration. The narration really wasn’t necessary, except maybe for the very beginning, but for some reason I liked it. I can’t really tell you if it was the guy’s voice and delivery or if it was the odd way it was placed in the story. Out of nowhere this guy would start talking and it just didn’t make much sense, but I guess it was cheaper than getting title cards.

Motive. We’re not really sure what the true motives of this alien are. As with most aliens that come to our planet, the government automatically assumes they are a threat and cause them to go on the defensive. I swear if that were to happen in real life, we’d all end up getting vaporized a la Mars Attacks…all because some trigger-happy, prejudiced military commander is all gung-ho about the mantra “shoot first, ask questions later”. It seems as if they guy just wants to get back to his planet. He can’t be faulted for that, can he?

What didn’t I like?

Unsatisfied. By the time the film started rolling the credits, I didn’t feel like I knew anything about what had happened in the past 75 minutes. This is something that rarely happens unless a film is bad and/or boring. This was neither, but it did have a feeling of treading water, which it really shouldn’t have what with all the pieces it has.

Budget. Obviously, this wasn’t a big budget picture. The lack of funding shows, especially since I was watching something that had clips from The Invisible Man the other night. Comparing the two would be like apples and oranges. Same genre, but the similarities end there. I wish the filmmakers would have been more creative in hiding their budget shortcomings, but at the same time I don’t think it would have bothered me it I wouldn’t have been reaquainted with other invisible filming from around this time.

Dog. I’m no fan of dogs, so the fact that the stupid dog plays such an important role later on in this film just didn’t fly with me. Couldn’t they have gotten a cat or bird to do the same thing? Why must it always be a dog that does things like this? There are other domesticated animals around, people!

What is the final verdict on Phantom from Space? Well, it is what it is. There isn’t anything special about this, at least nothing that you can’t see done better in other films, with better acting. That being said, please don’t think this is a horrible film, because it is far from it. I just feel that for all it tried to do, it came off very flat. I cannot recommend this, but I also can’t steer you away from it, either.

3 out of 5 stars