Dark Shadows

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 1760, the Collins family migrates to America from Liverpool and sets up a fishing port in Maine, naming it Collinsport. Some years later, the son, Barnabas (Johnny Depp), seduces his family’s maid, Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), who is a witch. When he tells her he doesn’t love or want her, Angelique kills Barnabas’ parents. Barnabas then falls in love with Josette du Pres (Bella Heathcote). In a fit of jealousy, Angelique bewitches Josette into leaping from a cliff to her death. Barnabas leaps after her in grief, but he survives because Angelique turns him into an immortal vampire. She rouses a mob to capture and bury Barnabas alive in a chained coffin in the woods and curses his family.

One hundred ninety-six years later, in the year 1972, construction workers accidentally free Barnabas from his coffin, who slakes his two-century hunger by feeding on and killing his rescuers. He makes his way back to his manor to find it inhabited by his dysfunctional descendants and their servants—the family matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer); her brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller); her 15-year-old daughter Carolyn (Chloë Grace Moretz); Roger’s 10-year-old son David (Gulliver McGrath); Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), David’s psychiatrist; Willie Loomis (Jackie Earle Haley), the manor’s caretaker; and Victoria Winters (Heathcote), David’s newly-hired governess and Josette’s reincarnation. Upon convincing Elizabeth of his identity by revealing a secret treasure room behind the fireplace, Barnabas is allowed to stay under the condition that he never reveal either the room or the fact that he is a vampire to the rest of the family. He must also pretend to be a distant relative from England who has come to restore the family’s business and reputation in town. He soon becomes very deeply attracted to Victoria, whom he briefly mistakes for his lost Josette, and immediately begins to pursue her.

As Barnabas helps revitalize the Collins’ fishery and manor, he is approached by Angelique, who has used her powers to establish a successful rival fishery called Angel Bay. She tries to win him back, later convincing him to make wild, passionate love with her, but he still rejects her, telling her that he loves Victoria instead. He restores his family’s name by inviting the entire town to a party at the manor featuring Alice Cooper, where Victoria reveals to Barnabas that her parents committed her to an insane asylum as a child because she could see and talk to Josette’s ghost. They kiss and confess their feelings to each other, unknowingly enraging Angelique who has witnessed the scene. Meanwhile, Dr. Hoffman has discovered Barnabas’ true nature after hypnotizing him. She convinces him to try to turn himself back to a regular human via blood transfusions, but her real intent is to use his blood to turn herself into a vampire to avoid aging. Upon discovering this betrayal, Barnabas drains her to death and dumps her body into the ocean. Barnabas catches Roger trying to find the secret room and exposes Roger’s lack of interest in his son. Barnabas then gives him a choice of either staying and being a good father to David or leaving the family. Roger chooses to leave, deeply wounding his son’s feelings. Soon afterward, Barnabas rescues David from a falling disco ball and stumbles into a beam of sunlight, burning his skin and exposing his secret to the horrified children and Victoria.

Later that night, Angelique calls Barnabas into her office, coaxes him into confessing Dr. Hoffman’s murder, and traps him in another coffin that she leaves in his family’s crypt. She then burns down the Collins’ canning factory and plays a recording of the murder confession to the police and gathered townsfolk, once more turning them against the family. Angelique leads the mob to Collinwood manor to arrest the family, but Barnabas is rescued from the coffin by David and he shows up at the manor and attacks Angelique in front of the mob, thereby exposing both his and her true natures. As the townspeople disperse, Angelique sets fire to the manor and admits her role in the family’s curse, including turning Carolyn into a werewolf and killing David’s mother at sea. Barnabas and the Collins family fight Angelique until David summons his mother’s vengeful ghost. The ghost gives a single scream which knocks Angelique into a chandelier. Before she dies she pulls out her heart and offers it to Barnabas; he refuses the heart and it shatters as Angelique dies. Barnabas then discovers that Angelique has bewitched Victoria into jumping off the same cliff Josette did. Barnabas arrives moments before Victoria is about to jump and breaks her hypnosis, but she reveals she wanted to fall. She pleads with him to make her a vampire so that they can remain together forever, but he refuses. She then casts herself off, forcing him to follow and bite her to save her life, and Victoria wakes up as a vampire. As the two kiss on the rocks in the waves, the film ends with an underwater scene showing a school of fish swimming away from Hoffman, who suddenly revives because she’s a vampire .

REVIEW:

In the 60s, Dark Shadows was a cult soap opera with supernatural themes, similar to one we had not that long ago called Passions. I don’t believe the soap was terribly popular, but it did last a few seasons and has gone on to become a cult favorite. If you are a fan of the series, you have my deepest sympathies for what Tim Burton has done.

What is this about?

Tim Burton’s take on the cult gothic soap follows a centuries-old vampire as he returns to his now-crumbling estate to meet his modern descendants. But what he finds is a house full of secrets and shadows.

What did I like?

Vision. I don’t think that there is a Tim Burton flick that I don’t instantly fall in love with the contrast of light and dark. Well, maybe Alice in Wonderland, but the rest are a nice mix of bright-colored backgrounds with dark stories and characters. This contrast even goes as far as the makeup. The ruby-red lips that Dr. Hoffman and Angelique are sporting, as well as Hoffman’s red hair really stand out in this macabre, dreary town.

Depp. I have to give it up to Johnny Depp, he really creates a vampire that could be frightening, and yet likable. He’s an unapologetic, bloodthirsty, vengeful, lecherous member of the undead and makes no apologies for it. This is a stark contrast to the vampires that have been polluting the screens the past few years. Depp also knocks it out of the park with his acting. I was expecting another character with that same British accent he uses eveyrtime he plays someone from across the pond, such as Jack Sparrow or Sweeny Todd.

70s and new blood. The 70s setting makes for quite some interesting experiences for someone who lived in the 19th century. It is quite the culture shock, especially when you see someone names Alice Cooper, who turns out to be “one ugly woman”. The infusion of two new, extremely attractive actresses, as opposed to the same ones we’ve seen over and over again, Eva Green (Angelique) and Bella Heathcote (Maggie/Victoria/Josette), not to mention the growing star of Chloe Grace Moertz.

What didn’t I like?

Change. I’m torn as to what I think of the change in tone from the original series. On one hand, I enjoyed it, as a film by itself. However, I did watch some episodes of the series this summer, and there were very few things that resembled this film, or vice versa. As I said before, if you’re a fan of the series, I feel your pain for what Burton did to something you truly love. At least they kept the supernatural aspect intact, and the comedy bits add a little spice to it.

Angelique. As much as I was drooling over Eva Green, I wasn’t too fond of the character, Angelique. She is one of those that does nothing but use her feminine wiles and witchcraft to manipulate the town into loving her and doing her bidding, but when Barnabas returns from the grave, she knows it could all very well end, ironically by one of her “creations”. The cracking porcelain face was a nice touch, though.

Pick a genre. One critic said that this film couldn’t decide what genre it wanted to be, horror, comedy, drama, etc. I have to agree, though it wasn’t as much of a distraction for me. I would have liked for it to go full on comedy since that is the direction they chose to go, with a few horror and dram a elements. This is based on a soap opera and deals with vampires, after all.

Ending. I won’t spoil the ending, but I will say that it sets up very nicely for a sequel. The problem is, they kind of tip their hat a little early by showing something they shouldn’t have while this particular character is getting killed. I guess that is more of a goof than a complaint…for now.

Dark Shadows provides some nice entertainment and will probably go on to be a cult favorite in years to come. The film was labeled as a flop this summer, but it came out the week after The Avengers, which went on to be #1 for like close to two months. I think this would have done better being released around Halloween. Do I recommend it? Yeah, this is one of those film you can start off your scary movie parties with as a warm-up, or if you’re into the horror comedy thing, couple this with something like Fido, This definitely worth checking out and is better than people give it credit for. Admittedly, I think I liked it more than I should have!

4 out of 5 stars

Wayne’s World

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Wayne Campbell (Myers) and Garth Algar (Carvey) are the hosts of Wayne’s World, a local Friday late-night cable access program based in Aurora, Illinois, where they ogle pictures of beautiful celebrity women, play air guitar and drums, and interview local people, indirectly making fun of them over the course of the interview. The program is popular with local viewers. One day Benjamin Kane (Lowe), a television station executive, is visiting a girlfriend (Ione Skye) who turns the TV to the show. When she tells him how many people watch the show, he instructs his producer Russell Finley (Kurt Fuller) to find out where the show is taped, telling him they may have an opportunity for a huge sponsorship.

Benjamin shows up next week in Wayne’s basement and introduces himself after the show ends. He offers to buy the rights to the show for $10,000 ($5,000 each) and to keep Wayne and Garth on for what he describes as a “huge” salary. Garth then covertly speaks to the audience, sensing he has a bad feeling that Wayne is selling out, but he is too shy to confront Wayne about it. Following the purchase of the show, it is quickly “reinvented”, complete with a weekly interview guaranteed to Noah Vanderhoff (Brian Doyle-Murray), the show’s sponsor. The first reinvented show is also their last, as Wayne holds up a series of cards with questions on the front and, unknowingly to Vanderhoff, insulting phrases on the back such as “Sphincter Boy” (with an arrow pointing at Vanderhoff), “He blows goats…I have proof” and “This man has no penis”, prompting Benjamin to call Wayne up to the control booth and fire him on the spot.

At the same time, Wayne’s blossoming relationship with hard rock vocalist and bassist Cassandra (Tia Carrere), the frontwoman of a band named Crucial Taunt, leads to a rift forming between Wayne and Garth. It erupts after Wayne walks out on the show, leaving Garth to a bout of stage fright for the rest of the show. The two separate, but later make up after Wayne breaks up with Cassandra following an argument between them over Benjamin.

While making up with Garth, Wayne remembers a limo belonging to record executive Frankie Sharp (Frank DiLeo) outside an Alice Cooper concert in Milwaukee. He also remembers that a security guard at the concert (Chris Farley) said that Sharp would be riding through Chicago later that day and forms a plan with Garth to get her back. With everyone in the donut shop helping, Wayne is able to convince Cassandra, who is at a video shoot directed by Benjamin, to leave the shoot with the band and head back to Aurora with him to perform on the show. Garth, meanwhile, hacks into a satellite system and is able to route the signal from the broadcast into the television set in Sharp’s limo. In the meantime, the police keep Benjamin at bay and leave him unable to enter the house until the show’s over.

Nearing the end of Cassandra’s song, Frankie Sharp and Benjamin enter the basement. Once the song is finished, Frankie says to Cassandra that it is the wrong time to sign her band, causing her to become infuriated with Wayne. Wayne is called small-time by Benjamin just before he leaves with Cassandra, and Wayne’s crazy ex-girlfriend Stacy (Lara Flynn Boyle) comes in to announce to Wayne that she is pregnant. Suddenly, an electrical fire starts from the broadcasting equipment and consumes the house. While Wayne walks out of the burned-down house with an injured Garth, Cassandra lies in paradise with Benjamin. Wayne and Garth then decide they don’t like that ending, and decide to do the “Scooby-Doo ending” instead. Wayne then pulls off Benjamin’s face, revealing that he is actually Old Man Withers, who then remarks, true to Scooby-Doo form, “And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you snooping kids!” After this, Garth imitates Scooby-Doo by saying “Good One, Shaggy.” Wayne and Garth then decide to do the “mega happy ending”, where Frankie gives Cassandra a six album record deal, Wayne and Cassandra kiss, Russell and the crew member who keeps saying “I love you” get together, while he announces how he discovered that “platonic love can exist between two grown men”, Noah is glad people are seeing him in a new light after he started sponsoring Wayne’s World, Benjamin realizes being successful doesn’t get you everything, and Garth finally gets his dream girl (Donna Dixon).

REVIEW:

Those of us that were growing up in the late 80s-early 90s may remember a time when Saturday Night Live was actually funny. A focal point of those shows was a sketch featuring two guys and their basic cable TV show. Little did anyone know that this little sketch would go on to be a big hit movie, Wayne’s World!

Now, this film, like the sketch, doesn’t have a “plot”, but there is a bit of a story for those that just have to have one.

I really think the fact that this story was forced upon them in order to make a “successful” film actually took away from the picture. The best and most memorable Wayne’s World sketches are those where the guys just went off the cuff.

Sadly, this film didn’t have that feeling, but rather that of a product that was taken over by greedy corporations, similar to the way it is depicted in the film. Maybe that was done on purpose, but I can’t be for certain.

There is a nice, fun, vibe that goes on throughout this picture, especially with some of the toungue-in-cheek jokes, such as the blatant product placement and of course, the stuff we’ve come to know and love from the sketches.

I think this is the film that introduced me, and I’m sure many other people of younger generations, to Queen. The most memorable scene in here is in the car when they sing “Bohemian Rhapsody” and then start head banging. Yes, that’s even more memorable that Tia Carrere is a bikini…but not much.

The cast is hilarious. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey continue to show what great chemistry they have.

Tia Carerre is great not only as the token eye candy, but as a strong female lead here, as well.

Rob Lowe is about as slimy as one can get, which makes him the perfect villain for this picture.

Oh, how I remember these days when comedy films were actually funny and didn’t try to make any kind of political statement or masquerade as a drama. This, I think, is the reason I love this film so much. Not to mention the fact that it cracks me up everytime I see and brings back that 90s nostalgia. I highly recommend it to all of you that haven’t seen it. You don’t know what you’re missing!

4 out of 5 stars

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonley Hearts Club Band

PLOT:

The original Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band performed during WWI in France, as the Allies’ “most effective weapon.” Their melodies cheered troops engaged in battle and stopped hostilities, leading to their receiving the coveted Golden Eagle Award. Back at their hometown of Heartland, they continued performing through the Roaring ’20′s, the Depression, and through another Great War, until the demise of the bandleader in 1958. He left his magical instruments to the town of Heartland. These items have the power to make dreams come true, and as long as they remained in the town’s possession, humanity would live happily foreverafter. He left his wholesome grandson, Billy Shears, (Peter Frampton) his Golden Eagle and musical legacy. The town’s venerable mayor, Mr. Kite (George Burns) tells the tale of the new Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club band, consisting of Billy, his best friends, Mark, Dave, and Bob Henderson (The Bee Gees), and managed by his jealous stepbrother, Dougie Shears (Paul Nicholas).

The new band debuts in their wholesome small town one sunny summer day, introduced by money-hungry Dougie. Dave, Mark, and Bob start off the performance, joined by Billy after he shares a brief moment with his sweetheart, Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina). Townsfolk of all ages instantly take to the boys, who receive a telegram from Big Deal Records requesting a demo tape, with the promise of big success. Mr. Kite briefly imagines himself as a superstar, performing a number in the town square, alone except for two little girls who join his jaunty dance.

The town’s magical weather vane picks up a strange signal, the arrival of Mean Mr. Mustard (Frankie Howerd). His mission: to Take Over Heartland. He is apparently directed by the FVB, who reminds him: We hate love; We hate joy; We love money. The band is recording their demo tape at a farm near town as he arrives. Back in Hollywood, Big Deal’s B.D. Hoffler (Donald Pleasence) hears the tape and begins his plan to sign them to his label. The band is summoned to Hollywood immediately, giving Billy and Strawberry scant time for tender goodbyes. They share one night in the farm’s hayloft before the band’s hasty departure.

Arriving in L.A. by Big Deal’s private jet, the band is welcomed personally by B.D. and his sexy assistant, Lucy (Dianne Steinberg). They are transported by stretch El Camino to B.D.’s mansion, where the naive bandmates are immediately corrupted by liquor, drugs, and women. Later that evening, the intoxicated boys are duped into signing B.D.’s exploitive contract. The next morning they commence recording sessions, leading to instant superstardom with sold-out concerts, intense media coverage, and enormous record sales. During their rise to success, B.D. requires Lucy and her backup singers, the Diamonds (Stargard) to control the band by exerting their evil and sexual influence.

Back in Heartland, Strawberry pines for Billy while Mr. Mustard steals the magical instruments from Mr. Kite’s office at City Hall. Mustard begins his mission to deliver the instruments to various villainous characters. Without the protection of the instruments, Heartland instantly degenerates into a den of iniquity.

Strawberry leaves home in pursuit of her beloved Billy, leaving her parents heartbroken in her absence. Mr. Mustard’s robots alert him and his Brute (Carel Struyken) of Strawberry’s departure. When she arrives in L.A., she sees a billboard showing Billy and the rest of the band, next to another featuring Lucy and the Diamonds. Both billboards come to life. The women’s seductive performance lures the men into their embrace, horrifying the distraught Strawberry. When she momentarily turns away, the billboards return to their inanimate states.

The next day, Strawberry arrives at the band’s recording session, witnessing some flirtatious glances between Billy and Lucy. B.D. and Dougie try to get rid of her, but she is able to get in and explain the treachery that has befallen Heartland. Mr. Mustard arrives moments later, and the band accosts his van in an effort to recover the stolen instruments. The van’s computer indicates the first instrument went to Dr. Maxwell Hammer (Steve Martin), a cheerfully deranged and money-driven physician. Billy, Mark, Dave, Bob, and Strawberry make haste to Dr. Hammer’s office and retrieve Sgt. Pepper’s silver cornet after a non-contact fight sequence. They find the drum in the van, then seek Father Sun (Alice Cooper) for the tuba. In his Orwellian lair, he drums the message, “We Hate Love; We Hate Joy; We Love Money” into the heads of militant young cadets. The band and Strawberry retrieve the tuba, but Billy is injured by an electrical shock. Back safely in the van, Strawberry lovingly tends to the unconscious Billy. He dreams of her, then revives at the sound of her beautiful singing.

Mark Henderson, working at the van’s computer, causes a malfunction and cannot retrieve the location of the final missing instrument. Heartland continues to deteriorate into desperate circumstances. B.D. is forced to cancel several tour dates, but Dougie suggests a huge benefit concert to save the town.

One day, as the townsfolk drudge through the town, bewildered at its delapidated state, they are surprised by the arrival of a singing and acrobatic troupe, anchored by Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band and the lovely Strawberry Fields. Mr. Kite, along with the rest of the town, is cheered at this fortunate turn of events. B.D., Dougie, and Lucy are pleased at their business cunning in exploiting the situation for financial gain. Dougie and Lucy go into City Hall, where the day’s proceeds are stored and load up a wheelbarrow with several bags of money. They transfer the money into the van’s refrigerator as Earth, Wind and Fire perform the evening show for the town, Billy and the Hendersons enjoy front-row seats. Mr. Mustard and the Brute get to town and find the van. They kidnap Strawberry and drag her into the van, then drive off. Dougie and Lucy manage to hide in the van without being discovered. The band sees the departing van and sets off in hot pursuit via the town’s hot air balloon.

Mustard was headed for FVB Central with the recovered instruments where the evil genius would suppress the magical instruments and make the world safe for his legions. Unless the band could arrive first and stop them. Mustard, who has admired Strawberry all along, attempts to woo her via serenade in her bound-and-gagged state. Soon, the balloon comes into view, and Dougie and Lucy try to escape the van with some of their lot., They are discovered and led into FVB Central along with Strawberry, then tied up and forced to endure a performance by FVB - Future Villain Band (Aerosmith). Billy and the Hendersons break into the complex and wrestle FVB into submission, killing the evil genius (Steve Tyler). Unfortunately, Strawberry falls to her death in the struggle.

Back in Heartland, the cleaned-up town mourns the loss of Strawberry Fields, who lies in state in a coffin of clear glass engraved with Heartland’s signature hearts. Billy, Dougie, and the Hendersons are all pallbearers. Mr. Kite questions whether it was worth the loss in order to restore the town. Leaving the church after her service, Billy sadly walks off for some time alone, remembering the good times he shared with Strawberry. He then attempts suicide by jumping from a rooftop. As he falls, the Heartland Weather Vane (Billy Preston) comes to life and returns him to the rooftop. Billy Shears is not only saved, but apparently cured of his depression by this surprising turn of events.

The Magical Weather Vane then changes Mr. Mustard and the Brute into a bishop and a monk; Dougie and Lucy into an altar boy and a nun. Next, he brings a hale and hearty Strawberry Fields back to life. She runs to Billy and they embrace warmly in a fairy tale ending.

The townsfolk are joined by dozens of celebrity guests of 1970′s fame for a rollicking and joyful finale, in a tribute to the cover of the original Beatles album that inspired the film.

REVIEW:

I’ll admit that I was very disappointed with this film from the get go. I tend to look at the film’s trailers before I watch them, and to find out that The Beatles did not appear in this film, kind of took me out of it. Although, I will say Aerosmith and Earth, Wind,  Fire were a suitable stand-in for me, but just not the same. When you expect to see The BEatles, you want to see The Beatles.

That was just the start of my disappointment. This thing is a rock opera. The few films of this genre that I’ve been privy to watch have not done it for me. As a matter of fact, they struggle to keep my attention. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is no exception.

I’m not a huge fan of The Beatles, but I do really like their music. One of the reasons I even bothered to watch this was my hope that there would be plenty of music. True, there was plenty of it, but it was done in such a way as to not keep my interest.

I don’t want to make it seem like the film is without its good points. The casting of popular music acts of the time, such as The Bee Gees, Earth, Wind, & Fire, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, etc., was great. It was kind of like a passing of the torch, if you will. Also, George Burns, who was the only one to speak in the entire film, served as a great narrator.

Although some may find the cheesiness of the flick a bit off-putting, I actually liked it, but that’s just my taste.

I really wanted to like this film, if not love it, but just can’t. This was just not what I expected. It’s not without its good points, but for me, the negatives outweigh the positives. I can recommend this to you, but be aware that the only remnants of The Beatles are covers of their songs. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band isn’t totally awful, but I felt it could have been served better as a musical rather than a rock opera. Dialogue works wonders!

2 1/2 out of 5 stars