Police Academy: Mission to Moscow

PLOT:

Russian mafia boss Konstantine Konali is laundering money under the guise of a legitimate business.

The business is a highly addictive video game that allows him to bring down almost any security system controlled by a computer on which the game has been played, with a string of major robberies as the result.

Desperate to nail Konali, Russian Commandant Alexandrei Nikolaivich Rakov sends for help from America. Rakov decides to bring in someone he met at a police convention—Commandant Eric Lassard (George Gaynes).

Lassard briefs his team about the mission in Russia, then they head to Moscow. Along with Lassard in Moscow are Sergeant Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), Sergeant Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf), Captain Debbie Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), Cadet Kyle Connors (Charlie Schlatter), and Captain Thaddeus Harris (G. W. Bailey).

As they plan to nail Konali, he has cooked up a new scheme—create an even more addictive form of the Game, a version that can bring down absolutely any computer security system in the world, including the systems that protect the databases that belong to world powers.

REVIEW:

You know, one wold think that with the last film in a franchise, they would bring back all the pieces that made it work in the first place. Instead, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow takes away Hightower and Hooks and then transports them all to Moscow. They already jumped the shark when Mahoney left and they moved everything to Miami, so this was more of the shark coming back to get them. A definite nail in the coffin of the franchise, that’s for sure.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is nowhere near as bad as it’s predecessor Police Academy 6: City Under Seige. Whereas that film seemed more like the animated series, this one felt like they were actually trying and succeeded in parts, and in others…not so much.

The plot is actually not bad, if this was a serious cop flick, bt for the Police Academy movies, it seemed a bit to serious, especially considering how that Russian was still somewhat of a taboo subject at the time this was released.

Not to mention, the whole criminal plot about the Russian mafia and taking over the world with “the Game” was barely touched on, save for a mention here and there, but they never really went anywhere with it. Really a disappointment since they could have flown with it.

I do wonder though, why it is they choise to use Game Boys with no game in them as the apparent gaming device. Seems just like the studios being cheap or perhaps it could have been some random joke. That wold make sense and fit the m.o. for this franchise.

The returning cast does what they do best, though they all seem to just be going through the motions at this point. It is really quite sad to see them in this state.

On the flip side, we do get a nice villain in Ron Perlman. Not quite sure if I buy his Russian accent, but then he spoke a bit of Russian in Hellboy, if I recall.

Christopher Lee doesn’t have a huge role here. As a matter of fact, he is really nothing more than a cameo, but it is good to see him away from his usual villain role, and he does a pretty good job in this comedic turn as a guy who is, more or less, the Russian equivalent to Cmdt. Lassard.

Well, it appears that I have now completed the Police Academy movies. As a franchise, it is ok, but it degenerates over time. I suggest sticking to the first 2 or 3…maybe 4, but after that, you’re just wasting your time. As far as Police Academy: Mission to Moscow goes, well…as I sad before, it is better than its predecessor, but doesn’t live up to the original Police Academy. It just isn’t the worthy ending the franchise should have received. Although, the end credits scene was nice. I recommend this with trepidation. If you’re a fan of the franchise, then you’ll love it, but for the common viewer, you’re better tracking down one of the earlier films.

2 3/4 out of 5 stars

Police Academy 6: City Under Seige

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The police must investigate a series of robberies along a strip of land in the city. The Mayor (Kenneth Mars) assigns Captain Harris (G.W. Bailey) and Lt. Proctor (Lance Kinsey) to the case, but while on stakeout the Wilson gang manages to slip through their fingers. The Mayor wants Harris and Proctor to work with Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) on apprehending the gang. Lassard assembles a seven-man team consisting of Hightower (Bubba Smith), Tackleberry (David Graf), Jones (Michael Winslow), Hooks (Marion Ramsey), Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), Fackler (Bruce Mahler), and Lassard’s nephew, Nick (Matt McCoy). After distributing flyers as to the information of the Wilson gang and getting nowhere, Nick stumbles upon a paper heading of an antique diamond heading to a museum, and gets an idea to use it as bait: however the robbers nab the diamond anyway by cutting a hole in the truck and escaping through the sewer system. McCoy then decides to go undercover to get information regarding a possible hideout, but Harris decides to go undercover to get a confession. It turns out that Harris goes undercover as a window washer at a tall building, for which he has a fear of height, and gets a confession of himself on tape after Proctor accidentally knocks him over the balcony. The robberies are committed by a group of three dimwitted criminals who do not seem to be able to do this on their own, and it is revealed they are being guided by a literally shadow figure known as the “Mastermind”, who speaks to the three behind a wall of glass and uses a voice distortion device. He devises a plan to get the cops out of the way. Commandant Lassard and his men are later suspended after drugs are planted in Lassard’s locker, pending an investigation. The gang decides to clear his name by nabbing the gang and the ringleader. Accessing data files from a computer, Nick deduces that the robberies are occurring along a bus route, thus intentionally lower property values in that part of the city. They also learn that someone must be ‘leaking’ information to the bad guys, which is why they are always one step ahead of the Police Academy. The Police Academy force finds and does battle with the Wilson gang, while Nick chases the leader. A pursuit follows, which leads to Commissioner Hearst’s (George Robertson) office. It is revealed that the Mayor is the “Mastermind” and that Captain Harris has been unwittingly leaking information during his daily meetings with the Mayor. Hearst apologizes and reinstates the force, and a plaque is given to honor the officers’ bravery the next day. As the movie closes, Harris is sitting in a chair when a string tying the balloon float is cut, lifting his chair and floating him up into the air as he shouts Proctor’s name.

REVIEW:

Well, here we are on the 6th entry into the Police Academy franchise. I wish I could say that they’ve gotten progressively better, but that just isn’t the case. If anything, they’ve gotten worse.

I’m not going to even waste time on writing a lengthy review of this one, because, for the most part the plot is the same. The only difference is that there is no academy to be seen in this film, and the primary villain is an evil mastermind who isn’t seen (if you were a fan of Saturday morning cartoons in the 80s, you may recognize his voice).

Everything else is the same. The film opens with Harris and Proctor doing something make Lassard look bad, but it backfires. We meet the criminals. Then we find out what the major plot point of the film is. Then we get some hijinks from the officers, mostly directed towards Harris. Of course, we have to have a scene with Tacklberry and his triggerhappiness, Jones and his sounds, Hightower being intimidating, Hooks being the shy little violet she is, Fackler being the complete klutz he is, and of course one (2 in this one actually) where Callahan is making men faun all over her. Finally, we spend the last 30 minutes or so chasing after the villains, only to conclude with some sort of awards ceremony that is culminated with more hijinks directed at Harris.

So, as you see, the formula hasn’t changed. I’m not really one to mess with something if it works, but there comes a point when you need to change something.

This may actually be the strongest plot of the series, but that plus is negated by all the above mentioned repetition.

Needless to say, this is not may favorite entry into the franchise. Having said that, I think it was stronger than its predecessor. There just is too much recycled material. You know what they say, “You can’t beat a dead horse”. Well, they’re definitely beating the hell out of this horse. I’m tempted to not even bother with the last entry in the franchise and just say stop after #3, because that’s about where they jumped the shark, but then my OCD would get the better of me. That’s neither here not there, just know that this is not a horrible film, but everything has been done before, and better, in previous entires. The villains are the high point, especially Mastermind, so if you musty see it, there’s the selling point.

2 out of 5 stars

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Captain Harris finally finds the goods he needs to push Commandant Eric Lassard out at the Police Academy: he is one year late for mandatory retirement. But before he retires, Lassard is chosen as “Police Officer of the Decade”, and brings his favorite graduates—Sgts. Hightower, Jones, Tackleberry and Hooks, Lt. Callahan, and new graduate Officer Thomas “House” Conklin—to the National Police Chiefs Convention in Miami Beach to celebrate with him. While there, they meet his nephew, Sgt. Nick Lassard of the Miami Police Department. The fun is complicated when he unwittingly takes a bag belonging to jewel thieves containing stolen merchandise.

As the jewel thieves try to get the bag back, and Captain Harris tries to prove to Commissioner Hurst that he’s the right man to replace Commandant Lassard, the usual hijinks ensue, including Lassard trying to guess the annual procedural demonstration. When the jewel thieves kidnap Commandant Lassard, he goes willingly, thinking it is indeed the procedural demonstration. It launches a negotiation, which Captain Harris botches, getting himself captured as well. A chase across the Everglades ensues to rescue the oblivious Commandant. At a ceremony at the end of the film, Commisioner Hurst announces that Commadant Lassard will be allowed to continue his duites as Commadant until he sees fit to retire himself, much to Harris’ chagrin.

REVIEW:

You know that old saying “jumping the shark”? Well, this would be that moment for the Police Academy franchise, as well as the true downturn for it, as well.

So, this is the fifth film in the series, and I swear they are getting more formulaic and worse.

This one involves Cmdt. Lassard being honored for his work at the Police Academy by receiving an award down in Miami. Of course, Cpt. Harris has his own scheme and brings the matter of Lassard’s age to the attention of the Commissioner.

Once arriving in Miami, Lassard manages to switch bags with some criminals who had just stolen some rare jewels from the museum and were going to sell them to a foreign party.

From here, you can pretty much guess the plot. Hijinks and pranks involving Harris and Proctor, touching moment somewhere in there, and of course, they all go after the crooks. Nothing has changed.

Well, I say that, bt Steve Guttenberg is nowhere to be seen thanks to his scheduling conflicts with Three Men and a Baby. It is debatable as to whether this hurt this picture or helped the other. I think it was a matter of both. I mean, think about it…Mahoney on Miami Beach? Can you just imagine the possibilities?!?

As far his “replacement”, Matt McCoy just doesn’t stack up. The guy appears to be trying, but comes off as wooden, especially in comparison.

The rest of the cast does pretty much the same thing they’ve been doing for 5 films now. The only exception is that Callahan, played by Leslie Easterbrook, has a little bit of an expanded role here. Of course, with that body and the setting of Miami, are you surprised?

The bumbling villains, led by Renee Aberjonois, are the perfect foils for these bumbling officers, but make you wonder what would happen if they came across an actual serious villain.

In the end, Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach is walking that fine line of subpar-ness that many upper-numbered sequels tend to do. Some new blood is definitely needed for this franchise, otherwise they will all be like this one or worse. I only recommend this for two things: a) Callahan in Miami, as well as many other bikini clad beauties and b) if you’re watching the entire series, then you can’t very well skip over this one. Otherwise, there really is no point in wasting your time.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Police Academy

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

A newly-elected woman mayor of an unnamed city has announced a policy requiring the police department to accept all willing recruits, effectively abolishing fitness requirements, educational levels, and medical standards. Not everyone in the police force is happy about the new changes.

Carey Mahoney is an easygoing man who has repeatedly gotten himself in trouble with the law when standing up to arrogance. Mahoney is forced to join the police force as an alternative to jail; a proposal by Captain Reed who has been lenient on Mahoney because of knowing his father, who was also a policeman. Mahoney reluctantly agrees to this, deciding that he will get himself thrown out as a loophole. However, the chief of police, outraged by the mayor’s lowered requirements, decides that the new cadets should be forced to quit rather than being thrown out. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris, who trains the cadets, agrees with the plan and employs tactics to make their lives as miserable as possible so that they do in fact quit. Mahoney tries many schemes to get thrown out as he cannot quit, since as part of the deal he made with Captain Reed, if he quits, he will be sent to jail. But toward the middle of the film he decides to stay for good, having fallen in love with another cadet, Karen Thompson (Kim Cattrall).

While in the academy, Mahoney becomes friends with fellow cadets Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf), and especially Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith), a giant of a man who is actually quite shy and keeps away from violence by and large. Mahoney helps Hightower prepare for the critical driving test, and after he passes, Hightower is very thankful to Mahoney. Unfortunately, the quit policy does not apply to Hightower, who gets himself kicked out of the academy because of an incident: After the hated cadet Chad Copeland racially insults his friend and fellow cadet Laverne Hooks, an angered Hightower lifts and turns over the police car in which Copeland is seated.

Shortly after this, Mahoney gets involved in a lunchroom brawl caused by Cadets Copeland and Blankes, and takes the blame for throwing the first punch, which finally gives Lt. Harris the green light to expel his most despised cadet. Before Mahoney actually leaves the premises, however, a major riot breaks out downtown. The resulting police emergency forces the cadets into real action for the first time. During the riot, a tough outlaw manages to steal two cadet revolvers from Copeland and Blankes. The outlaw grabs and disarms Lt. Harris by surprise, taking the officer to the roof of a nearby building as a hostage. Mahoney, despite his past troubles with Harris, dodges gunfire and climbs to the roof in a rescue attempt. This attempt fails and Mahoney is taken as a second hostage. Just as both hostages are about to be killed, it is none other than Hightower who suddenly appears on the rooftop in civilian clothes. The former cadet, who went back to his old job at a nearby florist just minutes earlier and left his shop because of the riot, manages to fool the hostage taker that he is a fellow crook. When asking whom the hostage-taker should shoot first, Hightower points at Harris, before knocking the hostage-taker out with a massive punch, thus rescuing Mahoney and Harris just in time.

Mahoney and Hightower both graduate from the academy along with the other passing cadets, and for their rescue of Lt. Harris and capture of his kidnapper, both receive the academy’s highest commendation ever bestowed upon a cadet. Commandant Lassard invites the two honorees to say a few words at the ceremony, and when Mahoney steps to the podium he suddenly stammers as he glances down and sees a prostitute concealed within, realizing that Commandant Lassard has taken subtle revenge for one of Mahoney’s earlier pranks when he was trying to get himself kicked out.

REVIEW:

Those of us that grew up in the 80s are more than aware of the antics of Cadet Mahoney and his cohorts. I’ve finally had the chance to start my review of this hilarious franchise. So, why not start with the first Police Academy?

I think you can assume what the plot is, but for those of you not able to figure it out, it basically involves these random people from all walks of like coming to the police academy because of the mayor’s new policy which allows them to not deny any applicant, regardless of physical condition, sex, etc.

The majority of the film follows them during various training sequences and allows us to get to know each of their characters, but the last quarter of the film finds them doing actual police work before they graduate from the academy.

Say what you will about films from this era, you can’t deny that they really had some great comedy writing, something that seemed to have become a lost art these days. I say that because, if you think about it, there really isn’t anything that has been released in the last few years anywhere near as hilarious as this film.

One of the biggest selling points about this flick has to be the characters. Besides Mahoney, who can forget Jones, the man who can make any sound/voice; Hooks, the mousey little lady; Tackleberry, the overeager, trigger-happy military vet; Sgt. Callahan, blonde, busty, athletic, etc. These characters, along with the others, make for a great ensemble cast.

I could sit here and tell you about each of the actors in here, but really the only one you need to know is that a young Kim Cattrall appears and, of course, Steve Guttenberg, who is the star of the film.

I’m not sure if this is the best entry in the Police Academy franchise, but it is definitely a great introduction to it. If you’re nostalgic for some good old 80s comedy, look no further, or if you just want to watch a good comedy, here you go. This is a high recommendation from me to any and all.

4 out of 5 stars