Revisited: Pulp Fiction

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The Diner
“Pumpkin” (Tim Roth) and “Honey Bunny” (Amanda Plummer) are having breakfast in a diner. They decide to rob it after realizing they could make money off the customers as well as the business, as they did during their previous heist. Moments after they initiate the hold-up, the scene breaks off and the title credits roll.
Prelude to “Vincent Vega and Marsellus Wallace’s Wife”
As Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) drives, Vincent Vega (John Travolta) talks about his experiences in Europe, from where he has just returned: the hash bars in Amsterdam, the French McDonald’s and its “Royale with Cheese”. The pair—both wearing dress suits—are on their way to retrieve a briefcase from Brett (Frank Whaley), who has transgressed against their boss, gangster Marsellus Wallace. Jules tells Vincent that Marsellus had someone thrown off a fourth-floor balcony for giving his wife a foot massage. Vincent says that Marsellus has asked him to escort his wife while Marsellus is out of town. They conclude their banter and “get into character”, which soon involves executing Brett in dramatic fashion after Jules recites a baleful “biblical” pronouncement.

Vincent Vega and Marsellus Wallace’s Wife

The “famous dance scene”:[12] Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) do the twist at Jack Rabbit Slim’s.
In a virtually empty cocktail lounge, aging prizefighter Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) accepts a large sum of money from mobster Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), agreeing to take a dive in his upcoming match. Vincent and Jules—now dressed in T-shirts and shorts—arrive to deliver the briefcase, and Butch and Vincent briefly cross paths. The next day, Vincent drops by the house of Lance (Eric Stoltz) and his wife Jody (Rosanna Arquette) to purchase high-grade heroin. He shoots up before driving over to meet Mrs. Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) and take her out. They head to Jack Rabbit Slim’s, a 1950s-themed restaurant staffed by lookalikes of the decade’s pop icons. Mia recounts her experience acting in a failed television pilot, “Fox Force Five”.

After participating in a twist contest, they return to the Wallace house with the trophy. While Vincent is in the bathroom, Mia finds his stash of heroin in his coat pocket. Mistaking it for cocaine, she snorts it and overdoses. Vincent rushes her to Lance’s house for help. Together, they administer an adrenaline shot to Mia’s heart, reviving her. Before parting ways, Mia and Vincent agree not to tell Marsellus of the incident.
Prelude to “The Gold Watch”
Television time for young Butch (Chandler Lindauer) is interrupted by the arrival of Vietnam veteran Captain Koons (Christopher Walken). Koons explains that he has brought a gold watch, passed down through generations of Coolidge men since World War I. Butch’s father died of dysentery while in a POW camp, and at his dying request Koons hid the watch in his rectum for two years in order to deliver it to Butch. A bell rings, startling the adult Butch out of this reverie. He is in his boxing colors—it is time for the fight he has been paid to throw.

The Gold Watch

Butch flees the arena, having won the bout. Making his getaway by a cab, he learns from the death-obsessed driver, Esmarelda Villalobos (Angela Jones), that he killed the opposing fighter. Butch has double-crossed Marsellus, betting his payoff on himself at very favorable odds. The next morning, at the motel where he and his girlfriend, Fabienne (Maria de Medeiros), are lying low, Butch discovers that she has forgotten to pack the irreplaceable watch. He returns to his apartment to retrieve it, although Marsellus’s men are almost certainly looking for him. Butch finds the watch quickly, but thinking he is alone, pauses for a snack. Only then does he notice a machine pistol on the kitchen counter. Hearing the toilet flush, Butch readies the gun in time to kill a startled Vincent Vega exiting the bathroom.

Butch drives away but while waiting at a traffic light, Marsellus walks by and recognizes him. Butch rams Marsellus with the car, then another automobile collides with his. After a foot chase the two men land in a pawnshop. The shopowner, Maynard (Duane Whitaker), captures them at gunpoint and ties them up in a half-basement area. Maynard is joined by Zed (Peter Greene); they take Marsellus to another room to rape him, leaving a silent masked figure referred to as “the gimp” to watch a tied-up Butch. Butch breaks loose and knocks out the gimp. He is about to flee when he decides to save Marsellus. As Zed is sodomizing Marsellus on a pommel horse, Butch kills Maynard with a katana. Marsellus retrieves Maynard’s shotgun and shoots Zed in the groin. Marsellus informs Butch that they are even with respect to the botched fight fix, so long as he never tells anyone about the rape and departs Los Angeles forever. Butch agrees and returns to pick up Fabienne on Zed’s chopper.

The Bonnie Situation

The story returns to Vincent and Jules at Brett’s. After they execute him, another man (Alexis Arquette) bursts out of the bathroom and shoots wildly at them, missing every time before an astonished Jules and Vincent return fire. Jules decides this is a miracle and a sign from God for him to retire as a hitman. They drive off with one of Brett’s associates, Marvin (Phil LaMarr), their informant. Vincent asks Marvin for his opinion about the “miracle”, and accidentally shoots him in the face.

Forced to remove their bloodied car from the road, Jules calls upon the house of his friend Jimmie (Quentin Tarantino). Jimmie’s wife, Bonnie, is due back from work soon and he is very anxious that she not encounter the scene. At Jules’ request, Marsellus arranges for the help of Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel). “The Wolf” takes charge of the situation, ordering Jules and Vincent to clean the car, hide the body in the trunk, dispose of their own bloody clothes, and change into T-shirts and shorts provided by Jimmie. They drive the car to a junkyard, from where Wolf and the owner’s daughter, Raquel (Julia Sweeney), head off to breakfast and Jules and Vincent decide to do the same.
Epilogue
As Jules and Vincent eat breakfast in a coffee shop the discussion returns to Jules’s decision to retire. In a brief cutaway, we see “Pumpkin” and “Honey Bunny” shortly before they initiate the hold-up from the movie’s first scene. While Vincent is in the bathroom, the hold-up commences. “Pumpkin” demands all of the patrons’ valuables, including Jules’s mysterious case. Jules surprises “Pumpkin” (whom he calls “Ringo”), holding him at gunpoint. “Honey Bunny” (whose name turns out to be Yolanda), hysterical, trains her gun on Jules. Vincent emerges from the restroom with his gun trained on her, creating a Mexican standoff. Reprising his pseudo-biblical passage, Jules expresses his ambivalence about his life of crime. As his first act of redemption, he allows the two robbers to take the cash they have stolen and leave, pondering how they were spared and leaving the briefcase to be returned to Marsellus, finishing the hitman’s final job for his boss.

REVIEW:

The film that put Tarantino on the map, no disrespect to his previous outings, was Pulp Fiction. Nothing of its kind had been seen up to that point, and truth be told, nothing like it has been done successfully since then, save for imitators and parodies (remember Plump Fiction?)

What is this about?

Weaving together three stories featuring a burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner and a washed-up boxer, Quentin Tarantino influenced a generation of filmmakers with this crime caper’s stylized, over-the-top violence and dark comic spirit.

What did I like?

Throwback. While this film may have been set in modern times (early 90s), it had a definitive retro vibe to it in terms of filmmaking, which can be attributed to Tarantino’s love of cinema. There are subtle hints to classic films all over the place, I won’t bother to mention them for fear I’d be here all day, but they are there. I even recently read in a variety of sources that Bruce Willis was cast because “he had the look of a 50s era actor”.

Quotes. I’m sitting here watching this and e-mailing my best friend quotes back and forth. Yes, there are tons of films that are quotable, but those in this picture just seem to be on a different level.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been messing around with someone and then suddenly go all Jules on them when they say what. Watching the first  season of American Horror Story, everytime the “rubberman” came out, I couldn’t help but say “bring out the gimp”! Ah, good times….good times!

Soundtrack. If you read my review for Django Unchained, then you may recall my disdain for the use of some of the music in there at inopportune moments that didn’t quite fit the tone of the picture. That isn’t a problem here. As a matter of fact, I believe this may be Tarantino’s best work with the soundtrack cues. The opening scene with the transition from Dick Dale’s “Misirlou” to Kool & the Gang’s “Jungle Boogie”, complete with radio static is a masterful piece of paying attention the small details that ends up being very well appreciated by the audience, and that’s just the start of what turns out to be some great old school. In college, I often would just pop in the tape, yes I said tape, and enjoy. Man, I wish more films would have a soundtrack as enjoyable as this one, the kind that has a little something for everyone.

Look who it is. Up to this point, John Travolta had largely disappeared from public view. I believe he had done a few films that flopped, but this is responsible for rejuvenating his career, and rightfully so. That is not to forget some of the other stars in here, with the exception of Willis and to an extent Jackson, weren’t household names at the time.

Violent comedy. As with most Tarantino films, there is plenty of violence to go around. Truth be told, I think this probably his most family friendly flick. Also, the moments of comedy sprinkled in here and there add in a nice flavor that is much appreciated, especially with some of the heavy stuff that the film can get into, particularly the last act/chapter.

What didn’t I like?

Weinsteins. I was reading how the Weinsteins pretty much wanted every role, with the exception of Keitel’s, to have gone to someone else. For instance, Vincent Vega, which was originally supposed to be Michael Madsen’s Vic Vega from Reservoir Dogs (which I will be revisiting at some point in the future), they wanted to be played by Daniel Day-Lewis, for Ringo, they wanted Johnny Depp or Christian Slater, and for Mia Wallace, they wanted Meg Ryan or Holly Hunter. Jules was written with Jackson in mind, but it almost went to someone else, Paul Calderon, who coincidentally plays the bartender. Not knowing how these choices would have worked, I can’t say if it was good or bad, but you be assured that they wouldn’t be the same which, in turn, may have affected not only how we view this film, but Tarantino’s whole career.

Shuffle. I’m torn on this, because on the one hand the nonlinear story line makes this picture unique, on the other hand, if this your very first time watching, or if you don’t pay attention, you could be totally confused as to what the hell is really going on. Just a matter of personal preference and/or taste, I suppose.

Marvin. Poor Marvin, he gets his head blown off. Two things about this. First, why was Travolta turned around with a loaded gun pointed at his face in the first place? Second, and this may just be me, but does it just seem that Marvin was there for the sole purpose of being shot in the face? He really serves no other purpose. I bring this up, because he is supposed to be the inside man at the place where the briefcase is, but all he seems to do there is open the door. I almost want to say they should have given him something more to do in order to make him more of a sympathetic character when his face gets blown off.

Jackrabbit slims. I’ve done my research on this. As of the time I’m writing this, there are no Jackrabbit Slim’s restaurants that actually exist, at least like the movie. There are a few here and there, but I don’t know if they are the same. The closest thing to this that is around is a place called Johnny Rocket’s. Man, I really wish someone would open a real life Jackrabbit Slim’s. I’d be there every night (probably in the Jayne Mansfield or Gene Kelly sections)! That isn’t a shot against the film, just something about the culture it has created.

As Pulp Fiction drew to a close, I was truly saddened. Not because something broke my heart, but because a good film had to end. I guess that old adage is true, “all good things must come to an end”. I highly recommend this to everyone, but be warned. A real good friend of mine in college said he could never finish it. I’m not sure why that was, whether it was the violence, language, or what, but it just goes to show you that as great as this film is, it isn’t for everyone. At any rate, if you haven’t checked this out already, then you really should!

5 out of 5 stars

Django Unchained

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Django (Jamie Foxx) and his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington) are sold at a slave auction. While Broomhilda is sold to an unknown buyer, Django is bought by the Speck brothers (James Remar and James Russo). When Django and a number of slaves are being transported across the country, the Brothers are confronted by Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), a German bounty hunter who uses his former profession as a dentist as a cover for his bounty hunting activities. Schultz frees Django and kills the Speck brothers. He reveals that he sought out Django because Django can identify the Brittle brothers—Ellis, Big John and Little Raj—a band of ruthless killers with a price on their heads. Schultz and Django come to an agreement: in exchange for helping locate the Brittle brothers, Schultz will free Django from slavery entirely and help him rescue Broomhilda from Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), a plantation owner who is as charming as he is brutal. On his plantation, Candyland, male slaves are trained to fight to the death for sport, while female slaves are forced into prostitution. Django agrees, and the two go after Candie and the Brittle gang. Shultz confesses that his profession of bounty hunting is opportunistic but he also mentions to Django that he “despises slavery”.

After hunting down and killing the Brittle brothers, Schultz takes on Django as his associate in bounty hunting. Django is initially uneasy about his newfound role, but soon proves himself to be a talented bounty hunter. After collecting a number of bounties over the course of the winter, Schultz and Django confirm that Calvin Candie is Broomhilda’s current owner. After scoring an invitation to Candyland, they devise a plan where the two of them pose as potential purchasers of one of Candie’s slave fighters in order to reach Broomhilda. Upon their arrival, Schultz introduces Django as his equal, which causes hostility at Candieland, where racist attitudes are considerably more pronounced than on other plantations. They are shocked to witness Candie execute a slave by having attack dogs tear him apart, but quickly come to an agreement to purchase a fighting slave. Schultz improvises on their plan and also purchases Broomhilda, claiming that as a fortuitous coincidence he noticed that Broomhilda speaks German and felt that she would help alleviate his nostalgia for his mother tongue.

The plan goes awry when Candie’s head slave Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson) realises that Schultz and Django are more interested in Broomhilda than purchasing a fighter. Correctly deducing that Django and Broomhilda are husband and wife, Stephen informs Candie, who, armed with this information, demands $12,000 for Broomhilda or else he will kill her in front of Django. Left with no other choice, they agree, but Candie’s humiliating behaviour enrages Schultz, who kills him after the paperwork finalising the sale is completed. Schultz is shot as Django tries to escape Candyland, slaughtering most of the household before being subdued. As punishment, Stephen arranges for Django to be sent to a coal mine and worked to death. En route to the mine, Django convinces the slave drivers that he is a bounty hunter, showing them the handbill from his first kill as proof of his claims. Once freed, he kills the slave drivers and rides back to Candyland.

Once inside the plantation, Django continues his slaughter of the household, planting dynamite as he goes. He leaves Stephen alive inside the mansion and takes the certificate of freedom that Candie signed for Broomhilda as part of the purchase agreement before his death. Finally free, Django and Broomhilda ride away from Candyland as the dynamite explodes, killing Stephen and wiping Candyland off the map.

REVIEW:

This time last year, there were three movies that I was super excited to see. One of them got pushed back to the coming spring, while another went on to be the summer’s and one of the year’s biggest hits, The Avengers. Then we have Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino’s ultra violet, controversial, spaghetti western. A flick that I’ve been looking forward to since I found out what it was about.

What is this about?

Former dentist, Dr. King Schultz, buys the freedom of a slave, Django, and trains him with the intent to make him his deputy bounty hunter. Instead, he is led to the site of Django’s wife who is under the hands of Calvin Candie, a sadistic plantation owner.

What did I like?

No fear. Earlier this year, when Red Tails came out, the African-American community all but crucified George Lucas for basically making a film about how they were treated when he wasn’t of the same race. The same kind of thing is going on here with Tarantino and his handling of slavery and people’s attitudes during the time, but I’ll get to that a little later. Personally, I don’t care what color the filmmaker is, as long as he makes a good film. Tarantino is one of the few in Hollywood with the balls to try this.

Leo. I remember when he was nothing more than a recurring guest star on Growing Pains. Now, Leonardo DiCaprio is a bona fide movie star, arguably one of the biggest names in Hollywood. He turns in a great performance as Calvin Candide, the sadistic plantation owner. Not only is his performance over-the-top, in terms of southern charm, but the intensity he brings to the table (figuratively and literally) is something that we haven’t really seen from him before. A critic I was reading the other day said that this is the performance of his career and that this could possibly get him that Oscar nod, if not for the controversy this film is steeped in.

Story. Quentin Tarantino has never been known as someone who can’t tell a great story. Look at his other films, if you question his story telling. You can argue the point that this may very well be his best work, in terms of storytelling, and many would agree with you. I’m not sure where I stand on that, but it definitely is up there. He really knows how to mix comedy and the more serious tones that were taken in parts. The yin and yang, if you will, make for an entertaining time.

Jackson Waltz. Christoph Waltz is one of the actors who has really gained fame here in the last few years, along with the likes of Tom Hardy, Michael Fassbender and, to a lesser extent, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. As we saw in The Green Hornet, he does have some comedic chops to go with his immense acting talent. While Jamie Foxx’s character is a man of few words, Waltz takes lead and carries the film, until the time when Foxx grows some balls and gets excited about “getting paid for killing white folks”. Samuel L. Jackson (how can this be a Tarantino film without him?) gets to really flex his more comedic chops as the head house slave. I really think they didn’t even write some of these lines and he just ad-libbed most of his lines.

Bloody. Let me be perfectly clear on this. If you cannot stomach seeing people get their heads blown off and copious amounts of blood, then there really is no reason for you to be watching. I’m not one for blood and gore, but when it is over the top as it is here, I’m all for it, plus this is a western, so I was loving it from the get go. I know some people are going to say that the gushing blood was too much or that it was unrealistic, but for me, it was perfect! There are plenty of other “real” things going on in this film.

What didn’t I like?

Length. Every one of Tarantino’s films has been way too long for its own good and this is no exception. Someone needs to get ahold of that man and shake him until he stops dragging these things out so. There was no need for this to be nearly 3 hours long when he could have very well just cut out a good 30-45 minutes worth of useless filler.

Big Daddy. Don Johnson was a great southern plantation owner, not as good as DiCaprio, though, but I have to wonder why this career comeback he’s on has him playing these racist characters. First, he was all about killing Mexicans in Machete, and now he’s all about owning slaves.

Music. Tarantino is known for not using original music for his films, which is fine. It actually sets him apart, but there is a scene here where they are riding through the countryside, but they play some kind of rap song. I’m not a big rap fan in the first place, but this really seemed like it was out of place, even more so in a western. If he wanted to use that song, then the credits would have been the place to use it.

N word. The elephant in the room is the frequent use on the N-word. Tarantino is known for using it in every one of his films, but for some reason he tries to pull a Randall from Clerks 2 and apparently take it back, since he uses it some 200 or so times. There have been some critics tearing the use of the word. Spike Lee, he of such upstanding racial views, has said he is boycotting because it offends his ancestors. While I don’t particularly care for using it so many times, this is a movie about slavery, so you can’t expect it to be used a few times. Also, if two prominent African-American actors don’t have any issues with it, then why is everyone making such a big deal about it? The N word is one of those that stirs up lots of emotions and Tarantino should have known better than to use it so much.

Django Unchained has been one of the films here at the end of the year that has become a critics’ darling, along with Les Miserables. I totally enjoyed the hell out of this film, with its mix of action, comedy, suspense, drama, and a slight love story. I would love to recommend this to everyone, but I can’t. This just isn’t the flick for everyone, as it has a few elements that are sure to offend. For those of you that aren’t easily offended, though, I highly recommend it. As a matter of fact, why aren;t you rushing out to see it right now?!?

5 out of 5 stars

The Avengers

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson), director of the espionage agency S.H.I.E.L.D., arrives at a remote research facility during an evacuation. The commander there, agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders), explains that the Tesseract, an energy source of unknown potential, has activated and opened a mysterious portal. Through it, the exiled Asgardian Loki (Tom Hiddleston) steps. Loki takes the Tesseract, and uses his abilities to control the minds of several S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel including agent Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner), as well as physicist consultant Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard), in order to aid in his getaway.

In response to the attack, Fury reactivates the Avengers Initiative. Agent Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johannson) is sent to India to recruit Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), while Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg), approaches Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and requests that he review Selvig’s research. Fury himself approaches Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) with an assignment to retrieve the Tesseract from Loki. During his exile, Loki encountered the Other (Alexis Denisof), an alien conqueror who, in exchange for the Tesseract, offers Loki an army of the alien race called the Chitauri in order for him to subjugate Earth.

Rogers, Stark and Romanoff travel to Stuttgart, Germany, to apprehend Loki, who is recovering iridium needed to stabilize the Tesseract’s power and demanding that the civilians kneel before him. After a battle with Captain America and Iron Man, Loki surrenders and is escorted back to a S.H.I.E.L.D. plane. However, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Loki’s adoptive brother, arrives and attempts to free Loki to reason with him. Stark and Rogers confront Thor, and Loki is eventually returned to the Helicarrier, a flying aircraft carrier, and placed in a cell designed to hold the Hulk.

The Avengers are divided, both over how to approach Loki and the revelation that S.H.I.E.L.D. planned to harness the Tesseract to develop weapons as a deterrent against hostile extraterrestrials. As the group argues, Barton and Loki’s other possessed agents attack the Helicarrier, disabling its engines in flight and causing Banner to transform into the Hulk. As Stark and Rogers try to restart the damaged engines, Thor attempts to stop the Hulk’s rampage, and Romanoff fights Barton. During this fight, a blow to the head knocks Barton unconscious, breaking Loki’s mind control. Loki escapes, killing Agent Coulson as he does so, and Thor and the Hulk are each ejected from the ship.

Fury uses Coulson’s death to motivate the Avengers into working as a team. Stark and Rogers realize that simply defeating them will not be enough for Loki; he needs to overpower them in a very public way so as to validate himself as ruler of Earth. Using a device built by Selvig, Loki uses the Tesseract to open a portal to the Chitauri fleet over Manhattan, summoning a Chitauri invasion.

The Avengers rally in defense of New York, but quickly realize they will be overwhelmed as wave after wave of Chitauri descend upon Earth. With help from Barton, Rogers and Stark evacuate civilians, while Banner transforms into the Hulk again and goes after Loki, beating him into submission. Romanoff makes her way to the portal, where Selvig, freed of Loki’s control, reveals that Loki’s staff can be used to close the portal.

Meanwhile, Fury’s superiors attempt to end the invasion by launching a nuclear missile at Manhattan. Stark intercepts the missile and takes it through the portal toward the Chitauri fleet before running out of power and plummeting back to Earth, but the Hulk catches him as he falls. Thor escorts Loki and the Tesseract back to Asgard, while Fury notes that the Avengers will go their separate ways until such time as a new world-threatening menace emerges.

In a post-credits scene, the Other confers with his master3 about the attack on Earth. In a second post-credits scene, the Avengers — gathered at a shawarma restaurant — eat in silence.

REVIEW:

What a way to start the summer movie season!!!

Over the past four or so years, we have been getting teasers for this great team up of all the Marvel superheroes (Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America). Many people had their doubts, but The Avengers hit theaters with, pardon the pun, a vengeance.

Yes, I know there are other Marvel heroes (Blade, The Punisher, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, Spider Man, the X-Men, and Elektra), but there are a host of reasons why they weren’t chosen for this film, mainly being that Iron Man was the beginning of the official Marvel Studios era, and most of those films were made before. Also, there is the little fact that with the exception of Daredevil and on occasion certain X-Men and Spider-Man, none of these are actually Avengers. While on the topic of Spider-Man, he has a film coming out in July, so ol’ webhead is a little busy.

Ok, now that we’ve got that out of the way, what say we talk about this film, eh?

I can only think of one word to really explain how I felt coming out of this film…geekasm! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as a comic book geek from days gone by, seeing some of my favorite characters on the big screen together and certain things that I thought would never happen, such as the helicarrier lifting off was a true delight.

3D is not my friend, as anyone who reads this blog will tell you, but I shelled out the extra bucks for the rental glasses and, I hve to say, this did not disappoint. I can’t say there is anything that you just have to see in 3D, but seeing it in 3D doesn’t hurt.

So, what works?

Direction. Joss Whedon does a great job with such a major undertaking. Can you imagine the amount of pressure that was on him with this picture? He does a gret job balancing the action and comedy, as well as making sure no one character takes over the film. Let us not forget how he delivers on this story, as well!

Bruce Banner/The Hulk. Some early reviews of this film have said he was the best part of it for them. I’m not a real big Hulk fan, but if they were to actually make a Hulk movie with this version, I’d be the first one to buy a ticket. Mark Ruffalo not only does a great job, and arguably the best ever job, as Bruce Banner, but he literally plays the Hulk. He did the motion capture for him, rather than just some CGI as his predecessors did. Don’t kid yourself. Can you really see Edward Norton taking the backseat role that he would have had to? Hell, the guy rewrote The Incredible Hulk just so he could get more screentime. Funny thing is, I actually didn’t think Ruffalo would work as the Hulk. See what happens when you assume something before it actually happens?

Loki. In Thor, we were introduced to this guy, and saw that he can be a pretty evil bad ass. Here, he takes that and multiplies it by 10. He really comes into his own and the Norse god of mischief, and has some great lines. However, his best scene may be with the Hulk!

Nick Fury. No matter which incarnation of Nick Fury we see in media, the one thing people always ask is what does the guy actually do besides sit around barking orders. Well, we get to see him in action during the heilicarrier scene. I just noticed something about Jackson’s portrayal of Fury, though. He appears to be wearing his coat from Shaft. On another side note, for those that don’t know, Fury actually started his career as a leader of Army commandos in the comics, but similar to the way the first Green Lantern (Alan Scott) is detached from just about all Lantern history, so is this part of Fury’s history, or at least it was during my day. They may have brought it into his backstory by now.

The helicarrier. I mention how this was one of those moments that we geeks have been wishing would finally come to fruition on the big screen. Well, the liftoff, anyway. Some of you may recall that there is a helicarrier in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, flown by an eye patch wearing commander of a secret organization. This one, though, is 100 times as awesome (and Nick Fury is 1000x the Colonel Frankie was).

Character development. Over the course of the film, we see each of these characters grow, as well as their relationship with each other. Honestly, though, did you expect anything less. The Avengers are not exactly best friends, unlike the Justice League (not counting Batman), but they come together for the common good.

Supporting characters from other films. It was good to see some characters from the other films pop up, one of them playing somewhat of a major role. It ties things together. There is even a picture of Natalie Portman’s character, Jane, when Thor is brought aboard.

Balance. The mixture of action and comedy strikes a nice balance that, quite honestly, only these Marvel films have been able to do. Hell, Nolan doesn’t even try with his Batman movies, though it looks like he may with Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises, which it rather ironic, since he made the Joker such a serious character. Anyway, I appreciate Marvel for realizing that not everyone wants to be depressed when they come out of the theater, but rather feel like they’ve gotten their money’s worth by mixing things up.

Cast. The cast is almost without flaw. How often has it been said that comic book films do one thing wrong that they never seem to learn from, which is have too many characters. This film proves, that no matter how many characters you have, each of them can get a decent amount of screen time and not feel like something the studios forced in at the last minute, like Venom in Spider Man 3.

Pacing. At nearly 2 1/2 hours long, you would think the audience would be bored and nearly out of it by the time you get to the denouement. However, with the exception of the rather slow beginning, the film gradually builds toward an awesometacular climax that makes it worth the wait. You don’t even realize that its been 2 hrs before you get there.

The final battle. This is what we came to see, a giant mashup of all these superpowered (with Black Widow and Hawkeye) individuals fighting to save the world. When the fight starts, it jumps around a lot, but that’s because you have everyone in different parts of the city, thanks to Captain America’s orders. Whedon is smart enough to realize that the audience doesn’t want to stay focused on what Thor is doing the whole time, but move on over to see what Iron Man is doing, then Hawkeye and Black Widow, etc, etc.

What didn’t work?

Hawkeye. Why is it Jeremy Renner couldn’t put on Hawkeye’s purple uniform? What, is he too good to wear a mask?

Cobie Smulders. I know that Maria Hill isn’t exactly the warmest of characters, but Smulders just doesn’t do anything to justify her being cast as this characters. As a matter of fact, if there was a weak spot in the picture, it was her. Perhaps she should just stay as the semi-hot friend on How I Met Your Mother. It turns out, though, that Whedon has a thing for her as an actress, so I’m sure this wont be the last we are forced to see of her.

Captain America’s costume. Remember Captain America: The First Avenger? Cap’s costume was authentic and believable. That was set in the 40s. Fast forward 70 yrs and they give him a new suit that looks like nothing more than some kind of cheap pajamas. On top of that, they kept taking his hood/helmet off. I don’t know whose fault this is, but it is a pet peeve I have with superhero films. If you’re gonna don the mask, then wear the thing. If you read any issue of any masked hero, then unless said face coverage has been severely damaged and/or stolen, they are not always taking their masks off, so why do they keep doing it these movies? My guess is the ego of these actors that play them, but considering how Evans has no issue wearing the mask all through his movie, this was probably more of a Whedon thing.

The Chitauri. As far as alien invasion forces go, these guys were not half bad, except it would have been nice to learn a little more about them, other than they think the Earth is week and have somehow teamed up with Loki to invade the Earth.

The Whedon death syndrome. When Whedon was first hired to direct this film, someone said that he was known for killing off pivotal characters. I thought maybe he’d avoid that with the material, since it isn’t part of the “Whedon-verse”. However, a certain character is killed off, and it leaves you wondering why. Best I figure is that they’re going to start pushing Maria Hill hard, especially since she’s actually in the books (a fairly major character, btw) and he isn’t.

The Avengers won one of my awards last year for most anticipated film. As of right now, it is a front-runner for movie of the year! The mixture of action, comedy, great characters, and a great story make for a great film. This is what I expect from my superhero movies. Spider-Man and Batman have some big shoes to fill, as do the rash of sequels that are sure to lead up to The Avengers 2, which hopefully will bring in characters such as Wasp, She-Hulk, Black Panther, Namor, Power Man & Iron Fist, Vision, Ms. Marvel, etc., but we’ll see. In the meantime, what are you waiting for? Go see this awesome film ASAP!!!

5 out of 5 stars

Die Hard with a Vengeance

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

On a summer morning in New York City, a bomb detonates destroying the Bonwitt Teller department store. Later, a man calling himself “Simon” phones Major Case Unit Inspector Walter Cobb of the New York City Police Department, claiming responsibility for the bomb. He demands that suspended police officer Lt. John McClane (Bruce Willis) be dropped in Harlem, wearing a sandwich board that says “I hate Niggers”. Harlem shop owner Zeus Carver (Samuel L. Jackson) spots McClane and tries to get him off the street before he is killed, but a gang of black youths attack the pair, who barely escape. Returning to the station, they learn that Simon is believed to have stolen several gallons of a bi-chemical agent explosive. Simon calls again demanding McClane and Carver put themselves through a series of “games” to prevent more explosions.

McClane and Carver are instructed by Simon to travel to Wall Street station 90 blocks south, within 30 minutes to stop a bomb planted on a Brooklyn-bound 3 train. McClane succeeds in locating and throwing the bomb off the train but it detonates, causing the rear car on the train to derail, demolishing many of the station’s support columns. FBI agents tell McClane that Simon is Simon “Peter” Gruber (Jeremy Irons), brother of the Hans Gruber killed by McClane in the first film. The agents believe Simon wants revenge on McClane for his brother’s death. During the debriefing, Simon calls again claiming that another bomb is planted in one of the city schools, and is sensitive to police radio signals. As McClane and Carver are forced to complete more riddles to identify the school, the police organize a citywide search of schools, and shut down the police radio band.

While playing at Simon’s games a chance remark by a shoplifter makes McClane realize that they are being distracted to keep them away from Wall Street, and Simon’s revenge motive is a cover for a heist. Returning downtown, he finds Simon’s men disguised as policemen and security guards have raided the Federal Reserve Bank and made off with $140 billion of gold bullion in 14 stolen dump trucks. After killing Simon’s henchmen at the bank, McClane trails the dump trucks to an aqueduct in the New York City Water Tunnel No. 3, capturing one of the trucks, but Simon destroys a cofferdam flooding the tunnel; McClane is thrown clear and regroups with Carver. They continue to follow the dump trucks to a tanker, but are captured attempting to board. The police locate and attempt to evacuate the school they think the bomb is in (which is the one Carver’s nephews attend), but McClane and Carver find that Simon has instead used the remaining explosive to rig the tanker to explode, which would send the gold to the bottom of the sea. Simon leaves the tanker, leaving McClane and Carver tied up next to the bomb, but they manage to escape the doomed ship just before it detonates.

As they regroup with the police and have their wounds tended to, McClane theorizes that there was no gold on the ship, which ultimately proves correct as it was replaced with scrap metal, and Simon has likely escaped. While phoning to make amends with his estranged wife Holly, McClane realises an aspirin bottle given to him earlier by Simon gives an address in a bordertown of Quebec. McClane alongside the Royal Canadian Mounted Police raid the warehouse where Simon and his men are preparing to distribute the gold. Simon escapes in a helicopter, attempting to shoot McClane from the air, but McClane shoots a power line which hits the helicopter and destroys it. Carver joins McClane and convinces him to finish his call to Holly at a nearby pay phone.

REVIEW:

The third film in the Die Hard franchise takes us someplace new…away from Christmas! Yes, film fans, Die Hard with a Vengeance finally has our anti-hero, John McClane nearly getting killed trying to save the day on a day other than December 25th, but is it worth watching?

Having seen what thing guy can do in the previous films, one has to wonder what else can they do to him? Well, how about we bring in a sadistic, Riddler type villain, who just happens to be the brother of the antagonist from the first film? Couple that with explosive mixtures and a plot to steal the gold from the New York Federal Exchange Bank.

Other than that, things are pretty much the same. McClane is just doing his thing, but gets roped into being the hero by no fault of his own. Well, this time, the crooks actually ask for him specifically. It is his “reluctant partner” who gets roped in by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but still wanting to do the right thing.

The action is what you would expect from this franchise, which is a good thing in this case. Other than the riddles and explosions, I was actually a little disappointed, though. It seemed like they were trying to do something the first two didn’t, but for some reason, it felt like they should have been following the formula set forth by its predecessors. I know that sounds a bit confusing, but there it is. I can totally see these soldiers holding up somewhere and keeping hostages, one of which is McClane who is going to end up saving the day.

All in all, Die Hard with a Vengeance is a pretty good film. Is it the best in the franchise? I won’t go that far, but it is pretty good. From what I hear, it is far better than the one that follows. If you’re looking for that mixture of fun, comedy, violence, and romance, well, you’ll get most of it here, with the exception fo the romance. Give it a shot sometime!

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

 

Jurassic Park

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Eccentric billionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough), CEO of InGen, has recently created Jurassic Park: a theme park populated with dinosaurs cloned from the DNA extracted from insects preserved in prehistoric amber.

After a park worker is fatally attacked by a dinosaur, Hammond’s investors, represented by their lawyer Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero), demand that experts visit the park and verify that it is safe. Gennaro invites Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), a mathematician, while Hammond invites paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and paleobotanist Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern). They are joined on the island by Hammond’s two grandchildren—Tim (Joseph Mazzello) and Lex Murphy (Ariana Richards). Hammond asks Malcolm, Grant, and Sattler what their thoughts are about having recreated dinosaur species. The three of them engage in an intense philosophical debate about the ethics of having cloned extinct dinosaurs with Gennaro being the only one to express optimism. The group sets off to explore the park while Hammond observes his guests along with Head Technician Ray Arnold (Samuel L. Jackson) and his game warden, Robert Muldoon (Bob Peck).

The head computer programmer, Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight), is secretly in the employ of one of InGen’s corporate rivals, and has been paid to steal fertilized dinosaur embryos. During his theft, Nedry deactivates the park’s security system, allowing him access to the embryo storage. During the exploration, Dr. Sattler spots a sick Triceratops and the group gets out to investigate. With a storm heading in, everyone gets back into the cars except for Dr. Sattler, who stays with the park doctor to look after the animal. The rest of the group, who have been stranded in the park due to the system shutdown, are attacked by the Tyrannosaurus, which kills Gennaro. Grant and the children are able to escape.

Meanwhile, a fleeing Nedry crashes his jeep. He decides to attach a winch on the front of his jeep to a tree that will pull him to the road and help him reach the dock. As he’s attaching the winch to the tree, he encounters a dilophosaurus which kills him.

Ellie and Muldoon try to find Alan and the children, but to no avail. Then they find Ian under the demolished bathroom. As they try to look for the children deep inside the jungle, Ian realizes the Tyrannosaurus is near. He orders Ellie and Muldoon to flee, with the Tyrannosaurus chasing after them. The three of them are able to escape in their jeep.

Meanwhile, Alan and the children climb up a high tree to avoid the Tyrannosaurus, and in a distance from the tree, they can see a family of “Brachiosaurus”.

Back at the Visitor’s center, being unable to decipher Nedry’s code to reactivate the security fences, the group decides to take the drastic measure of rebooting the entire park’s computer and electrical network. Arnold refuses at first by worrying that the park’s network might not come back on at all, But Hammond pressures him by saying that people are dying. Arnold, along with Ellie, Hammond, Muldoon and Malcolm, shut down the park’s grid and retreat to the emergency bunker, from where Arnold heads to the maintenance bunker to reboot the system. When he doesn’t return, Ellie and Muldoon decides to head for the bunker. At the same time, Grant and the children discover a nest full of hatched eggs, indicating the dinosaurs are breeding on their own.

As Muldoon and Ellie proceed to the maintenance bunker, Muldoon notices Velociraptors in the bushes making him notify Ellie that they are being hunted. Muldoon gets killed by a raptor, while Ellie makes it to the bunker and restarts the park’s systems. After Ellie turns the park’s systems back on, she almost gets killed by a raptor hidden within some cables; she then discovers Arnold’s mutilated remains and narrowly escapes the raptor. At the same time, Tim, Lex and Grant climb an electrified fence out of the park’s animal zone and Tim is nearly killed upon the reactivation of the electricity.

Grant and the children head for the visitor’s center; he leaves them alone in the restaurant while he reunites with Ellie and the others. The kids manage to eat something until they see a raptor’s shadow through a stained glass window. They head to kitchen, in which the raptor opens the door making it into the kitchen, in which another raptor accompny’s it. The kids escape two raptors before reuniting with Grant and Ellie. Lex is able to assist getting the park’s security systems working from the control room. Grant contacts Hammond and tells him to call the mainland for rescue, but the two raptors find the group and attack.

The group flees through the vents, only to be cornered in the entrance hall by the raptors, who prepare to strike. However, the Tyrannosaurus breaks into the main hall and attacks the raptors, allowing the foursome to escape outside where they are rescued by Malcolm and Hammond. Hammond and the others escape via helicopter. Hammond takes one last look at Jurassic Park, before boarding the helicopter. As the helicopter flies away, Grant watches a flock of pelicans gliding over the sea.

REVIEW:

It came to my attention last week that I had actually watched the Jurassic Park films after I had started this blog, but for some reason, I never reviewed them. Oh well, it happens, right?

When this film was released, I was a junior high kid and in awe of dinosaurs and the whole span of this film. Not to mention the heroic music that only John Williams could deliver. Now, some 20 years later, that feeling hasn’t waned at all.

I’ve long been against CGI, and will probably always be, unless it is used to animate Transformers or create explosions, but the great way it was put to use here in order to create these prehistoric creatures really shows you what they can do with the technology when they actually sit down and take their time with it, as opposed to today where they juts take like 5 minutes, draw something and paste it on the some film.

The plot here, I believe follows very closely with the book, but don’t quote me on that. A hot topic, to this day, is whether or not dinosaurs could be resurrected using blood found in mosquitos trapped in amber.

I’m no scientist,but I would imagine the answer would be no. As they say in the film, there would be missing parts of code, and I just don’t see how using a frog’s DNA to fill in the gaps would work. Kudos to whoever thought of the idea, though. It was bloody brilliant.

If you’ve read any of my western reviews, you know that I”m big on scenery. If ever there was a film that deserved an award for just the magnificent location, or what have you, Jurassic Park would be it. The scene where they fly in takes your breath away. I remember seeing that on the big screen and nearly being brought to tears by its beauty.

With any film of this nature, there has to be some sort of plot meant to throw a monkey wrench in everyone’s plans. In this case, it is a rival company that has hired the compter technician to steal dinosaur embryos and bring them back to him.

I’ve seen this flick many a time, and always wondered why there was this random espionage, for lack fo a better term, plot going on. I think today was the first time I saw the scene that explained it.

This is one of those films where the cast, as great as it is, takes a back seat to the amazing special effects and story.  I actually have no issue with any part of this cast, except maybe Jeff Goldblum’s character. I still wonder exactly what his branch of science actually is, as opposed to the others who were actual acclaimed paleontologists.

I guess him being a different branch was just that…different, and he also gave a different vibe than the stoic demeanor of the others.

There is a majestic beauty that goes along with the dinosaurs, as well as a fear factor when one sees a Tyrannosaurus Rex charging at you in the middle of the night, but there is also this one bit of irony this film has that you cannot overlook.

Early on, they are threatened by T-Rex, but near the end when the kids are trapped in the kitchen by the velociraptors, it is the same T-Rex that tears the roof of and eats the raptors. How ironic, right? That has to be one of my favorite scenes of the film, hands down!!!

Jurassic Park holds a special place in my heart for being able to bring dinosaurs back and make them cool again. This film was released in 1990, or somewhere around there, and is still as relevant today as it was back then. Talk about a film standing the test of time! I more than highly recommend this one. You should have this on your see before you die list. Hell, why haven’t you seen it already?!?

5 out of 5 stars

The Other Guys

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Nerdy detective Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell) is a forensic accountant who is more interested in paperwork than hitting the streets. Tough, but dim-witted Detective Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) has been stuck with Allen as his partner ever since he shot Derek Jeter during the World Series. Allen and Hoitz receive no respect from the other officers, namely detectives Martin (Rob Riggle) and Fosse (Damon Wayans, Jr.), who trick Allen into firing his gun in the office (a “desk pop”), and Captain Gene Mauch (Michael Keaton) leaves him with a wooden practice gun as punishment. Terry detests Allen’s extreme cautiousness, choice of music, and is baffled by and infatuated with his beautiful wife Sheila (Eva Mendes). They both idolize cocksure detectives Chris Danson (Dwayne Johnson) and P.K. Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson), who are considered the city’s best policemen even though they frequently cause millions of dollars in property damage catching criminals. During a pursuit of a group of jewelry robbers, Danson and Highsmith die when they jump off a 20-story building to continue pursuit, after agreeing to “aim for the bushes”. The two were mourned by the police force as heroes despite their odd deaths, and Martin and Fosse are in line to fill their shoes.

Allen and Terry begin to investigate a scaffolding permit violation by multi-billionaire David Ershon (Steve Coogan), but wind up uncovering a much bigger plot by Ershon to cover his losses to his client Lendl Global, and Allen and Terry agree to put aside their differences to solve the case. Lendl CEO Pamela Boardman (Anne Heche) hires a team of mercenaries led by Roger Wesley (Ray Stevenson) to make sure Ershon pays her back, and to make sure no one stops him from doing so, creating a roadblock for Allen and Terry.

During their investigation, Allen confides in Terry about his college life running a dating service, though refusing to admit that he was a pimp as Terry correctly points out. When his life spiraled out of control, he was sent to the hospital where he met Sheila, and he promised himself and Sheila that he would never get out of control again. However, when having dinner one night with Sheila, she tells Allen that she’s pregnant, causing Allen’s old dark personality to re-emerge, and she kicks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Terry tries and fails to reconnect with his ex-fiance Francine (Lindsay Sloane), who walked out on him due to his reckless behavior.

Their investigation comes to a halt when Ershon’s attorney learns of his plan to cover his losses, leading Wesley to kill him and make it look like a suicide. Mauch splits up Allen and Terry, sending Terry to traffic and Allen to patrol. Allen still tries to solve the crime on his own, even though Terry thinks it is a dead end, having settled into traffic. After learning that the jewelry robbery that Danson and Highsmith died over was staged so that Wesley and his team could break into Lendl’s accounting firm next door to alter their records, he finally gets credible evidence and earns his gun back. Allen then convinces Terry to rejoin him.

They go to Mauch, who admits he’s been holding off on the case because Ershon has high-profile connections that could ruin Mauch, and he allows them to finish the case off-the-books. They go to an investment meeting Ershon is having and realize that the $32 billion Ershon seeks, initially believed to be coming from the New York Lottery Office, is really coming from the New York Police retirement fund. They escape with Ershon to his private apartment, and Ershon tells them that the money for the pension fund is already in his account, ready to be transferred to Lendl’s account. Allen and Terry make amends with their respective significant others the night before.

In the morning, they drive to the bank to stop the transfer, evading Wesley’s team, groups of Chechen and Nigerian investors Ershon owes money to, and police officers who are told Allen and Terry have gone rogue. They reach the bank and halt the transfer, but Wesley arrives and shoots both officers. Mauch finally arrives with police backup, rescuing the two and arresting Ershon and Wesley. Ershon’s arrest leads to a stock market crash and the subsequent federal bailout of Lendl. Wesley is charged with the murder of Ershon’s attorney. Terry gets married to Francine, although he is still infatuated with Sheila. Allen and Terry believe that the true heroes are the ones who make the world a better place, not the ones who appear in the newspaper or on TV. The film ends with a peacock flying by the screen in reference to Terry’s remark, “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly,” as Terry and Allen drive off.

Figures and statistics relating to Ponzi schemes, Bernie Madoff, and TARP bailouts are shown during the ending credits. When the credits finish, a short scene is shown where Terry tells Allen a joke over dinner at a restaurant.

REVIEW:

I’ll be the first one to admit that, while I enjoyed most of The Other Guys, some of it was just too overt the top or confusing, even for me.

That being said, I didn’t hate this film the way some critics and bloggers seem to be doing. At the same time, I’m not going to praise it as an “upgrade from the failed Kevin Smith film, Cop Out. He really should take notes.“

So, what is The Other Guys about? Well, we have two desk cops (there for different reasons), who suddenly get the chance to step up, thanks to a certain unexpected accident involving the “supercops” played by Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. After said accident, we go one a series of events with Ferrel and Wahlberg. Hilarity ensues. Oh, and there’s also this little plot thing about a Ponzi scheme.

There are some hilarious moments in this film, mostly involving the banter and chemistry between Ferrell and Wahlberg, who work surprisingly well together. Add in Steve Coogan as a comedic villain, if you will, and the formula works.

A recurring joke throughout the film is how Ferrell’s character can keep attracting these super hot women, such as his wife Eva Mendes. I found myself asking the same thing, but anything can happen in the movies, right?

The cast is full of hilarious actors and, for lack of a better term, A- list actors. Each one has great chemistry with the rest of the cast and doesn’t try to outshine the other, with the exception of Ferrell and Wahlberg, for obvious reasons.

There is a little bit of action here and there. After all, this is a cop flick. Is it worth mentioning? Well, other than just that its there, not really.

In the end, The Other Guys is one of those films that some will love while others will leave scratching their heads. I thought I’d be one of the former, but ended up as one of the latter. Does that mean I didn’t like the picture? By all means, no. I just think I need to see it again before I go adding it to my collection. Should you see it? Sure, it won’t hurt you to have a laugh, will it?

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

 

xXx

PLOT:

An NSA agent on a mission infiltrates the concert where Rammstein is performing only to be killed by an operative of Anarchy 99: a rebellious Eastern European underground group. After losing one of their own, NSA operative Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) gets the OK to run a project to find the right person to infiltrate Anarchy 99; since conventional NSA agents are too obvious to the ex-military Anarchy 99, Gibbons feels that a more brutal style of agent is called for in this instance to escape detection.

Xander Cage, (Vin Diesel), is a law-breaking extreme sports enthusiast, with a propensity for rebellious behavior. After crashing California senator Dick Hotchkiss’ Corvette, in response to the senator championing a cause to ban all controversial videogames and music, Cage’s hideout is raided by a SWAT Team and he is tranquilized. Cage wakes up the next morning in a diner. As he groggily tries to familiarize himself with his surroundings, he notices things are out of place and is not surprised during a fake robbery attempt. After Cage quickly foils the “robbery”, Gibbons informs him that the whole scenario was part of a test and that he passed. Cage tells Gibbons that he’s not interested in this “test” and is once again tranquilized as he attempts to leave. Cage later wakes up in the payload of a U.S. Marines C-123 cargo plane along with two other criminal types similar to Cage. The plane’s cargo door opens, and Cage, along with the others, are dumped in Colombia and taken captive by a Colombian drug cartel after stumbling upon a cocaine plantation. Later, the cartel leader (Danny Trejo) arrives and attempts to interrogate the three who, believing the scene to be another NSA setup, jokingly refuse to cooperate. As the drug lord begins to use torture tactics, Cage realizes that this scenario is real and frees himself and the others as the Colombian Army raid the plantation. As Cage attempts to escape, he is captured by camouflaged NSA agents.

The next morning, Gibbons arrives and mentions that exposing the Colombian drug cartel was another part of the test. Xander is then given a choice by Gibbons: work for him or serve a lengthy prison term for his misdeeds. He grudgingly chooses government employment.

xXx goes undercover in the Czech Republic in order to find out more about “Anarchy 99″ and in particular their leader Yorgi (Marton Csokas), a Russian ex-soldier who has a grudge against authority and society in general, and indeed all political ideologies, both left wing and right wing. Fitting right into the dark yet lavish and tempting underworld inhabited by the group, Xander finds himself drawn to Yorgi’s apparent girlfriend Yelena (Asia Argento), who turns out to be an abandoned agent of the Russian intelligence agency, the Federal Security Bureau, and he negotiates a political asylum deal with Gibbons to save, and secure her a new life in America. However, Anarchy 99 turns out to be a terrorist faction, planning a series of chemical weapons attacks on major world cities by utilizing a high speed automated sea-faring and river-faring drone named Ahab. The chemical weapon is referred to as “Silent Night”, and the formula has been missing since the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. Silent Night is made of everyday chemicals that in combination are lethal. After killing millions the chemicals are designed to harmlessly disperse in water. Yorgi’s ultimate aim is cause chaos and lawlessness across the entire world, bringing civilization to an anarchic end and destroying the system that killed so many of Anarchy 99′s old military comrades for no reason.

Xander, with Yelena continuing to act as a double agent, learns that Ahab is equipped with a device designed to travel to highly populated areas where it can deploy its biological missiles and continue on its world-ending journey by submerging in the ocean. An agent-turned-criminal Milan Sova (Richy Müller), unaware of Yorgi’s ultimate plans, finds Xander’s methods so extreme – Xander having exposed him as a spy during the initial infiltration attempt and subsequently shooting him with fake bullets to gain Yorgi’s trust – that he defects in support of Yorgi, and Yelena is forced to kill him, but she reveals that she is an undercover agent as well. Then, Xander arranges an operation with the Czech special forces to raid the remote castle, which Yorgi and Anarchy 99 have been using as their base and laboratory. Xander is then captured. Soon, the Czech police arrive, blowing up the mansion, and in the chaos Yorgi and Kirill escape. Xander and Yelena go after them,& Xander kills Kirill using a heat seeking rocket, which was caused ironically by Kirill’s habit of smoking. After Xander shoots and kills Yorgi, Xander speeds along winding roads, and parasails onto Ahab as it speeds down the Vltava River towards Prague, capital of the Czech Republic, with a population of well over a million. Xander finally destroys the drone and the chemicals onboard as he quips, “Welcome To The Xander Zone!”

The film ends with Xander on vacation with Yelena in Bora Bora as agent Gibbons jokingly informs him that because of his actions during the film, he has passed “The Test”, the “Gibbons Test”. He also says that he needs him for another assignment, as “something else has come up”. Cage ignores this as he and Yelena go for a swim.

REVIEW:

 Believe it or not, in all the movies I’ve seen in all my years on this Earth, I had never seen xXx. At least not in its entirety, until this afternoon. As much as I’ve heard folks brag about how awesome this thing is, though, you’d think I would have already seen it, though.

This action/adventure flick seems to be geared towards those that are heavy into the extreme stuff. Of course, if I’m not mistaken, at the time this was made/released, the X-Games were either just starting to becoming mainstream, so it makes sense to have a big budget action flick featuring those types of stunts, right?

The extreme stunts are what keep this film moving forward, because the plot gets bogged down in the bad accents and horrendous accents (if they were real…yikes!). Not to mention, that most of the first half of this film is meant to set up the second half of nonstop action.

I’m totally ok with this, except for the fact that there really was nothing interesting going on during that time but nonstop talking. I might as well have been watching 7th Heaven or The View if all I wanted to hear was talk, talk, talk.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t watch an action flick to see the people talk for an hour, even if it is about the major plot device and a subplot that was kind of interesting. Having said that, though, once the second half of the film kicked in, the film picked up and was quite enjoyable.

I’m not really a fan of the plot of this film. It seems to me like they could have used this for a James Bond remake/reboot. Yes, it is that corny, and yet I couldn’t look away.

Vin Diesel must have gone to the same acting school that Megan Fox and those Twilight annoyances went to, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be anything but wooden. Granted, it worked in the Riddick movies because of his character, but here, it just seemed as if the guy could have at least tried to give xXx a hint of a personality.

Marton Csokas was a great villain, though I didn’t buy the accent, which really hurt his performance for me.

Samuel L. Jackson was a bit subdued here, kind of like he is in the Iron Man movies. Come to think of it, Agent Gibbons is quite similar to Nick Fury. The mangled face, though, made him look like he should have been a Dick Tracy villain.

Asia Argento tries to be an integral part of the film, she really does. However, she comes off as being nothing more than eye candy trying to be important, thus getting in the way.

There are two parts to my opinion of the scenery. The scenes around Prague are breathtaking and show the real beauty of the city and up in the mountains. On the other hand, the club scenes looked like they were lifted from Blade with the red filter replaced with blue.

Two scenes that really caught my attention in this flick are the climactic scene on the river and the avalanche. The river scene was intriguing because well it is one of those will he save ___ in time. This could very easily been reduced to some stock footage and bleu screen effects,bt it appears as if the filmmakers went all out to get these shots, and it worked.

The avalanche was just a breathtaking sight. As much as I deplore the apparent need to have everything in 3D these days, had this film been released these days, this would have been on of those that would have been in awesome with the added 3D. If you’ve ever seen Mulan, then picture that avalanche in real life and that is pretty much what you got here…without the huns, of course.

All in all, xXx provides the viewer with enough excitement at the end to offset the drowsy “talkie” first half. Sure, that is important enough to set up the action packed second half, but they could have found a more interesting way to do so, in my opinion. Still, I can recommend this. Trust me, there are plenty of much worse films out there and you can do way worse than this. As a matter of fact, you may actually enjoy xXx.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Farce of the Penguins

PLOT:

Samuel L. Jackson narrates the story about a group of male penguins that make a 70 mile trek to go to their breeding grounds where females are waiting to have sex with them. These penguins include Carl (Bob Saget) and Jimmy (Lewis Black), two friends who talk about relationships and other things as they meet new characters including Marcus (Tracy Morgan), a penguin who likes to kid around and brag about his huge penis (an illogical point, since penguins do not have penises and instead have cloacas), and Steve the snowy owl (Jonathan Katz), who gives Carl advice on his life in a Freudian kind of way while billing him for the two quick sessions. Meanwhile Melissa (Christina Applegate) and Vicky (Mo’Nique) argue about men and other women who bother them as they wait for their mates to arrive to the breeding grounds.

REVIEW:

I don’t really know where to start on this review of Farce of the Penguins. The title pretty much says it all. This is nothing more than farce/parody of March of the Penguins.

I’ve seen previews for this film in many of the DVDs I’ve been watching lately and finally just broke down and decided to check it out, especially since I was in the mood for a good laugh. The problem is, this film doesn’t really deliver as many as you would think.

Maybe it’s just me, but if something has farce in the title, then I expect there to actually be comedy. This film does not deliver on that front, but rather is just a slightly amusing version of March of the Penguins, only with celebrity voicings of the penguins and not just a documentary.

The good parts of the film include the all-star voice cast (Bob Saget, Lewis Black, Whoopi Goldberg, Christina Applegate, Samuel L. Jackson, etc.) and the fact that this film never really takes itself seriously.

On the negative side of things, you can only listen to some neurotic rambling for so long before it just gets annoying, and for me, that’s all this ended up being. This could have very well been a romantic comedy script adapted to penguins.

Is this worth viewing? Well, let’s just say there is a reason that this was releases direct to DVD. Does that mean it’s bad? No, but at the same time it’s not that great. It’s worth a viewing if you’re into these type of films, but otherwise, my suggestion is to just find something better.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Black Snake Moan

PLOT:

The film centers around two main characters: Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson), a deeply religious farmer and former blues guitarist, and Rae (Christina Ricci), a young nymphomaniac. Lazarus’s wife has left him for his brother, which has left him a bitter and angry man. Rae’s boyfriend Ronnie (Justin Timberlake) leaves for deployment with the 1960th Field Artillery Brigade, Tennessee National Guard, and in his absence she has bouts of promiscuity and drug use. During one of Rae’s binges, Ronnie’s friend Gill (Michael Raymond-James) tries to take advantage of her. She laughs at his advances, comparing him unfavorably with another man, and he severely beats her. Believing she’s dead, Gill dumps Rae by the side of the road and drives away.

Lazarus discovers Rae in the road the next morning and brings her home to nurse her back to health. Over the course of several days, Rae, delirious with fever, occasionally wakes up and tries to flee from Lazarus. He ties her to the radiator with a heavy chain to keep her from running away. After Rae regains her wits, Lazarus announces that it is his spiritual duty to heal her of her sinful ways and refuses to release her until he does so. Rae makes several attempts to escape, but eventually comes to tolerate her position. Lazarus buys her a proper dress to wear, plays guitar for her, and feeds her home-cooked meals. Lazarus’s pastor and close friend, R.L. (John Cothran Jr.), visits Lazarus at his house and discovers that Lazarus is imprisoning Rae. The pastor tries to reason with Lazarus and the group shares a meal.

Meanwhile, Ronnie returns to town after being discharged from the National Guard due to his severe anxiety disorder. While searching for Rae, who has disappeared, he meets Gill, who informs him that Rae cheats on him whenever he is out of town. Ronnie attacks Gill, steals his truck, and continues searching for Rae.

In the morning, Lazarus frees Rae, having decided that he has no authority to pass judgment on her. Rae chooses to stay with Lazarus of her own will. Later, Rae and Lazarus take a trip into town, where Rae confronts her mother (Kim Richards) about the sexual abuse  she suffered at the hands of her mother’s partner. Meanwhile, Lazarus has formed a budding romance with the local pharmacist, Angela (S. Epatha Merkerson). He plays a blues concert at a local bar, which Rae attends. Ronnie spots Rae and follows her to Lazarus’s house. He confronts the pair with a pistol, but Lazarus talks him down and summons the pastor. Ronnie and Rae decide that they are stronger together than apart and get married. While driving away, Ronnie suffers a panic attack and Rae begins to break down, but together they overcome their afflictions.

REVIEW:

With a title like Black Snake Moan and soundtrack filled with the blues, the tone for this film is set for some superb acting, if executed well.

This film is apparently based on a book of the same name. One of these days, I may go to the library and check it out.

Samuel L. Jackson is what you would expect from him, although he is a bit subdued…for him. He obviously has some pain from things that happened to him, which we find out in song form later in the film, that leads to him being the grumpy old man. Somehow, it works for him, but I have to wonder…what was up with the hair?

Christina Ricci looks hotter than ever in this role. Of course, that could be because she’s running around little to no clothing on for a good 95% of the picture. The way she writhes around is quite impressive. It takes talent to act like you’re more or less possessed and in pain, not to mention the emotional depth her character requires. Ricci has come a long way since being Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family, not to mention she has become a lot more comfortable with taking her clothes off on camera since Prozac Nation. There is one scene here where she just rips her top off and throws herself at a guy.

Justin Timberlake, having conquered the music world by bring sexy back a few years ago and giving us all a “Dick in a box”, tries his hand at acting. With many singers, they flop, especially if they try drama, but Timberlake does a pretty nice job. I think he has a future on the big screen, especially if he keep picking up roles of this caliber.

A couple of TV stars pop up here. S. Epatha Merkson is here as a pharmacist that is sweet on Lazarus, played by Samuel L. Jackson. You may know her better as Reba , the mail lady from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Also in the cast is Michael Raymond-James. Like Merkson, he’s not a household name, but you may know him as the murderous Rene from the first season of True Blood. His accent still leaves a lot to be desired, however.

I won’t lie to you, the main reason I watched this was to see Christina Ricci run around next to naked for most of the film, but after watching it, I must say that it was actually the story that kept me captivated more than her tight body. Dramas aren’t my first choice of film, so for me to recommend this film so highly is out of the ordinary, but it blew me away. There are a few things that could have been better, but that goes for any and every film. Black Snake Moan is a must see for any film fan.

4 out of 5 stars

The Man

PLOT:

A man named Andy Fiddler (Eugene Levy) is in his bathroom, preparing a speech. He works for a dental supply company, and lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He will soon be giving a speech to investors in Detroit, and is very nervous.

At Detroit, ATF agent Derrick Vann (Samuel L. Jackson), whose partner was recently murdered, is trying to retrieve some guns that were stolen from a federal armory, and are soon to be sold. After a visit to his informant Booty (Anthony Mackie) (who is later gunned down), he sets up a buy. He is to go to a diner and be reading a USA Today. Unfortunately, Andy is in the diner, and his favorite newspaper is USA Today. A menacing Englishman (Luke Goss) sits next to him and hands him a paper bag with “his taste” in it then leaves. Andy pulls a cell phone out of it, then a gun, which the waitress sees and thinks Andy’s holding the place up. That’s when Vann walks into the diner and cuffs him. Soon, Vann realizes that the gun traffickers mistook Andy for him, and drags Andy along with him. The cell phone that Fiddler receives rings, with the menacing Brit, whose name we later find out is Joey, is on the other end of the line. He wants “Turk” (the pseudonym that Vann used when setting up the buy) to drop $20,000 dollars in a certain trash can. Vann reveals that he has the money, and needs Fiddler to drop it.

Andy tries to perform the drop plain and simple. Unfortunately, a homeless guy screws this up, and the traffickers just drive by. Andy gets another call asking him what happened. He tells them that there were complications. Joey says he will call back in about an hour. Meanwhile, Andy tries to get away, only to have Vann graze him with a gunshot to the rear. Before Vann picks him up, Andy gets word to 9-1-1 via the cellphone, running a make on Vann’s license plate numbers. Vann then suggests Andy use the taco sauce in his glove compartment to ease the pain of the bullet wound. Andy’s 9-1-1 call proves effective and a group of squad cars pull them over, much to Vann’s dismay, and he is furious at Andy for running a make on his plate. The police discover that Vann is ATF and move aside.

Vann tells Andy that he is going to make a stop at a friends house. The “friend” is a gun dealer that Vann knows named Manny Cortez. He finds Manny shot dead on his toilet seat. The killer was Joey. At the same time, Andy, who is handcuffed to the passenger door, attempts to drive the car with one hand. Vann chases after him in a car he “borrows” and eventually pulls him over.

When back in the car, Andy complains that he is hungry. Vann takes him to a burger joint, where Fiddler complains that red meat doesn’t agree with him, but he eats the burger anyway. Back in the car, Fiddler gets extremely gaseous. After quickly exiting the car, Vann gets a call from his ex-wife Dara (Rachael Crawford), who reminds him about his daughter Kate’s (Tomorrow Baldwin Montgomery) dance recital in a few hours. Vann takes a quick break from the gun busts for this brief visit. On the way there, Andy teaches him how to curb his use of the “f” word.

When they arrive, Vann explains to Kate that he’s on assignment, and can’t come. She is dismayed. Then Andy shows Kate some pictures of hisfamily. Vann gets distracted when the phone that Joey gave to Fiddler rings.

Joey says he wants to meet Turk in a restaurant, where they will make the exchange. However, Joey says he wants $500,000 for the whole batch. Vann goes to his confiscated items buddy Santos (Horatio Sanz), who eventually gives into his requests. They head to the restaurant, and Andy enters. Fiddler sits down with Joey and discusses the deal. After some inquests by Joey about how he got the money so fast he throws Joey the money saying it means nothing to a powerful trafficker like him. He also gives Joey back the cell and tells him that he makes the calls now. When Andy tells Vann what he did, he is furious, but Andy explains that they now get to decide where the meeting takes place, and get backup there. He also tells Vann that they should let Joey simmer for a bit before calling him. Fidler suggests that they go to Vann’s daughter’s dance recital, which they do.

After that, they leave and call Joey. They arrange for a meeting which they attend with no backup. Upon meeting Joey and his cronies, Joey asks who Vann is. Andy tells him that Vann will do anything that is told. After an embarrassing confession to this by Vann, they are taken to Joey’s residence, where, for some reason, they are put in the pool. Joey tells them that he still thinks Vann is a cop. Vann admits this, and tells them that he is betraying the service to make some money. Joey is convinced, and Vann takes Andy to his hotel, and they say goodbye.

The next day, Andy gives his speech, and it goes well. When he exits the building, Internal Affairs agent Peters (Miguel Ferrer) grabs him and throws him in a surveillance truck. They tell him that Vann was lying to both him and them, and that he is actually trying to buy the guns and killed Booty, Cortez, and Vann’s partner himself. They need him to wear a wire and get a confession out of Vann.

Meanwhile, back at ATF offices, Vann is suspended for his actions of the past day, and his boss (Susie Essman), distrustful of Andy from the start, tells him that Andy was setting him up. At the same time, Andy, now wired, enters Vann’s office and says they need to talk. Vann says that they should talk in his car. Vann starts driving to the exchange with Andy in tow. Recognizing Andy’s nervousness, Vann asks him straight out if he’s wired. Andy admits he is but doesn’t reveal whose wire it is.

They enter the barn where the exchange is going to go down. After Joey asks where the money is, Vann tells him he’ll show the money when Joey shows him the guns. Joey is skeptical and pulls a gun on Vann. That’s when the police enter, after hearing everything through Andy’s wire. Joey and most of his goons get mowed down, and Vann gets shot in the buttocks. Andy says he will get the taco sauce. Both men are (presumably) cleared of all charges.

The next day, Vann, disabled from the bullet wound and walking with a cane, is accompanying Fiddler to his flight back to Milwaukee. They are in the elevator when Vann hears a noise. He enquires what Fiddler had for lunch…a steak sandwich (more red meat). Some nuns enter the elevator afterwards. After Fiddler has caused them severe discomfort with his gas, Vann and Fiddler go through security, where the guards insist that Vann have a body cavity search, since he still has a bullet in his rear. They go to find someone to search him. Vann says he doesn’t want that kind of a search done, and he and Fiddler say their friendly goodbyes. The cavity search team arrives and Vann (in a joking reminder to Andy of who was really running things) directs them to Andy, who was already on his way. They approach Andy and, against his protests, haul him off-screen for the cavity search while Vann chuckles over it.

REVIEW:

I don’t know about you, but I don’t necessarily think Samuel L. Jackson when it comes to comedy, especially buddy comedies. Don’t get me wrong, the guy has had some memorable one-liners in his career and tends to be the kid of guy that will lighten things up in a more dramatic film. However, in the last two films of this nature that Ive seen him in (the other being Soul Men), he hasn’t done half bad. Personally, I think he does a better job playing the comic foil than the straight man, but that’s a matter of personal preference.

Euegene Levy may be one of the only actors around who can make a career out of playing roles in which the character is put in uncomfortable situations and turns them into comedy gold. Let’s face it, being in a diner where a federal agent is supposed to intercept a gun smuggler but gets mistaken for you isn’t exactly the best possible situation, but Levy takes it and makes the most of it. He really plays up the cultural differences between he and Jackson as well as the naivete of his character.

Luke Goss, who is best known to most people as Prince Nuada from Hellboy II: The Golden Army, is a villain worthy of mention. He is the typical arms dealer type…cruel, sadistic, heartless. I found his performance quite a contrast to the two leads, not just because of his British/Australian accent, but because he seemed to be so at east with his character.

This film could be better if they didn’t try so hard to be…or not be…a typical buddy comedy. It just seemed as if they were doing all they could to not follow the mold, but at the same time they were. If not for the red meat toilet humor near the end, I would be rating this lower.Quite sad that it takes a fart joke to up a film’s rating, when you think about it. This is just one of those films that, while not one to rush out and rent, is worth a look if you get the chance, but even then, don’t expect too much.

3 out of 5 stars

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

PLOT:

The Galactic Republic is on the verge of collapse as a result of the Clone Wars, which have been waged between the Republic and the Separatists for three years. In a surprise move, General Grievous, commander of the Separatist Droid Army, kidnaps Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and attempts to escape. During a battle over the planet Coruscant, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker lead a mission to rescue the Chancellor, who is being held captive on Grievous’s flagship. There they confront Count Dooku in a lightsaber duel; at the end of the duel, Anakin hesitantly kills Dooku at Palpatine’s urging. The Jedi free the Chancellor and attempt to escape the battle-torn flagship, but Grievous traps them inside and escapes. Anakin pilots the collapsing flagship to safety on Coruscant. There, Anakin reunites with his wife, Padmé Amidala, who reveals that she is pregnant. Anakin is overjoyed with this news until he begins having recurring nightmares of Padmé dying in childbirth, similar to the visions he had of his mother before she died. Anakin resolves to prevent these visions from coming true.

Palpatine, concerned about the Jedi’s motives, places Anakin on the Jedi Council to be his eyes and ears. Meanwhile, the Jedi Council has begun to suspect Palpatine of corruption and orders Anakin to spy on him, while also denying the young Jedi the rank of Jedi Master out of additional distrust of him. Under Palpatine’s influence, Anakin begins to grow distrustful of his fellow Jedi, and is intrigued when Palpatine mentions the power to prevent death, an ability only gained through the dark side of the Force. Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is sent to the planet Utapau where he engages and kills General Grievous. Back on Coruscant, Palpatine reveals himself to Anakin as the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, who has been controlling both sides of the war. Anakin reports Palpatine’s treachery to Jedi Master Mace Windu, who engages and subdues the Sith Lord in a lightsaber duel. Believing that Sidious is his only hope to save Padmé, Anakin intervenes and literally disarms Windu before he can execute Sidious, allowing the Sith Lord to kill the Jedi Master. Palpatine takes advantage of Anakin’s emotionally drained mind to submit him to the dark side and becomes Sidious’s new apprentice, Darth Vader.

Darth Sidious initiates a pre-programmed directive within all clone troopers to kill their Jedi commanders, while Vader kills all the Jedi within the Jedi Temple, Knights, Padawans, and Younglings alike. Obi-Wan and Yoda survive the extermination, and meet up with Senator Bail Organa, who brings them to the Jedi Temple while Palpatine reorganizes the Republic into the Galactic Empire, with himself as Emperor. Vader, meanwhile, heads to the volcanic planet of Mustafar, where he slaughters the remaining Separatist leaders. Within the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan witnesses security footage of Anakin’s massacre as Darth Vader. Yoda tells Obi-Wan that they must kill the Sith Lords if they are to restore peace. Obi-Wan begs Yoda to send him to kill the Emperor, but Yoda tells him to confront and kill Vader; Obi-Wan isn’t strong enough to face the Emperor and he must accept that the friend he had known and loved as a brother is gone forever.

Obi-Wan meets with Padmé, who refuses to believe that her husband has fallen to the dark side. She travels to Mustafar to be with him, unaware that Obi-Wan has secretly stowed aboard. Once she confronts Vader, however, she realizes that Obi-Wan was telling the truth. Spotting Obi-Wan within her ship, Vader accuses Padmé of betraying him and uses the Force to strangle her into unconsciousness. Obi-Wan and Vader engage in an epic lightsaber duel across the volcanic facility and over a river of lava. Finally, Obi-Wan gains the upper hand and, acting on a critical misjudgment from his former friend, swiftly dismembers Vader. Vader slides down a bank of volcanic ash and bursts into flames, while Obi-Wan picks up Anakin’s lightsaber and leaves him to die. Obi-Wan escorts the injured Padmé to the asteroid Polis Massa where he regroups with Senator Organa and Yoda, the latter of whom has gone into self-imposed exile after dueling Darth Sidious to a stalemate. Meanwhile, Sidious finds his maimed apprentice and takes him back to Coruscant to revive him.

Padmé gives birth to twins, a boy named Luke and a girl named Leia, and dies, but not before insisting to Obi-Wan that there is still good in Anakin. Meanwhile, Sidious has Darth Vader rebuilt in black cybernetic body armor to keep him alive. When Vader asks for Padmé, Sidious tells him that she died as a result of Vader’s anger. This revelation breaks what remains of Anakin’s spirit, and he screams in torment. He is last seen at Sidious’ side, overseeing the construction of the Death Star. With Anakin’s children the last hope for the galaxy, Obi-Wan, Yoda and Organa agree that they should be hidden and separate from one another. Leia is taken to Alderaan to be raised by Organa, while Obi-Wan takes Luke to Tatooine to live with his uncle Owen and aunt Beru.

REVIEW:

I really don’t think there has been a movie charged with having to accomplish as much as this one. It had the unenviable task of filling in the time span between Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and Star Wars. During this time, it had to be explained how Yoda and Obi-Wan ended up being the only remaining Jedi and how they ended up in exile, how did Anakin become Darth Vader, how did Palpatine age so much and become the Emperor, how did the Death Star get built, and a multitude of other questions. Many of these questions are answered, but the last 20 minutes or so seem rushed into trying to tie up all the loose ends that weren’t answered already.

On more than one occasion it has been said that Hayden Christiansen has ruined the saga with his bad acting. I won’t go so far as to say that, but he is very robotic and unfeeling in his delivery. Having said that, it is my belief that George Lucas picked him as Anakin for this very film. The lack of humanity is perfect for Anakin’s turn to the dark side.

Ewan McGregor brilliantly portrays the conflict Obi-Wan feels as he must face his pupil and possibly kill him. His empassioned exlamations after chopping off his limbs says it all. I think the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, Alec Guiness would be proud of McGregor’s turn with this character.

Natalie Portman doesn’t really have much to do in this picture except walk around hugging Anakin everytime he walks into the room. That is, until he chokes her into unconsciousness before the climactic battle with Obi-Wan. As the film draws to a close, though, she gives birth to Luke and Leia, and shows off her real talent for emotional depth as she portrays the pain of Anakin breaking her heart and giving birth to twins.

Samuel L. Jackson had it written into his contract that when Mace Windu died, he wouldn’t die as “a bitch”. From what I’ve read and know, Windu is quite the master swordsman, so his final battle with Senator Palpatine was no surprise, though I don’t think being shot of a window by Palpatine playing ‘possum as a ploy to get Anakin to defend him was how he wanted to die.

I think of all 6 Star Warsfilms, this is the one that spends the least amount of time in space. That doesn’t take away from the great battles that are had, though. Yoda vs. the Emperor, Obi-Wan vs. General Grievous. Mace Windu vs. Senator Palpatine, and of course Obi- Wan vs. Anakin.

While many characters make their last appearance here (Count Dooku, Viceroy Gunnry, Padme), we are introduced to some new ones (General Grievous, Darth Vader, the Wookies), some that will be very prominent as the saga moves forward.

As the film concludes, we see Anakin getting fitted with his Darth Vader apparatus, as Padme is giving birth. As the helmet goes down and locks into lace, you can hear the strains of the “Imperial March” and then with a lock and a hiss, there is a moment of silence followed by Vader’s unforgettable breathing pattern. I tell you this gives me chills every time, especially when I saw it in theaters. Those same chills came to me when James Earl Jones took his rightful place as Vader’s voice.

As far as the prequels go, this and Clones battle for the honor of being my favorite. I wish the ending wasn’t so rushed and crammed. To me, it makes it seem as though they just wanted to get everything done and out of the way in those few minutes. The lightsaber duels are epic, especially the climactic battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin. I would have liked to have gotten a bit more Padme, but that’s just my personal preference.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Jackie Brown

PLOT:

Set in Los Angeles in 1995, Jackie Brown (Pam Grier) is a flight attendant for a small Mexican airline, the latest step down for her career in the airline industry. Despite the low pay, the job enables her to smuggle money from Mexico into the United States for Ordell Robbie (Samuel L. Jackson), a gun runner under the close watch of the ATF.

Ordell learns that another of his workers, Beaumont Livingston (Chris Tucker), has been arrested and, fearing that he will talk to authorities in order to avoid jail time, Ordell arranges for Beaumont’s bail and murders him. Acting on information Beaumont had indeed shared, ATF agent Ray Nicolette (Michael Keaton) and LAPD Detective Mark Dargus (Michael Bowen) catch Jackie as she arrives in the US with Ordell’s cash and some cocaine that Brown was unaware was stashed along with the cash. She initially refuses to deal with Nicolette and Dargus, and is sent to jail on possession of drugs with intent to sell.

Ordell, sensing Jackie may be just as likely to inform as Beaumont had been, arranges to bail her out. He returns to Max Cherry (Robert Forster), the same bail bondsman he used to arrange Beaumont’s release, to bail out Brown. Cherry arranges for Jackie’s bail and, only partly masking his physical attraction, offers to help her determine her legal options. Later that night, Ordell shows up at Jackie’s house, presumably to eliminate her, but using a gun she stole from Cherry, she cuts a deal whereby she will pretend to help the authorities while still managing to smuggle $500,000 of Ordell’s money, enough to allow him to retire.

To carry out this plan, Ordell employs several others, a woman he lives with, Melanie Ralston (Bridget Fonda), Louis Gara (Robert De Niro), his friend and former cellmate, and a naïve Southern girl, Sheronda (Lisa Gay Hamilton). With Jackie’s help Nicolette arranges a sting to catch Ordell, though Jackie and Ordell plan to double cross him by diverting the actual money before Ray makes an arrest.

Unbeknownst to Ray or Ordell, Jackie plans to deceive them both with the help of Max in order to keep the $500,000 for herself. After a dry run, during which Ray could observe the operation, the stage is set for the actual event. Set in an LA mall, Jackie stops in a dressing room before the official exchange to swap bags with Melanie and Louis, supposedly passing off the $500,000 under Nicolette’s nose, but in fact only giving Melanie $50,000 and leaving the rest behind in the dressing room for Max to later pick up. Jackie then feigns despair as she calls Ray out from hiding and claims Melanie took all the money and ran.

Though angered, Ray leaves assuming Ordell has escaped with the money through little fault of Jackie’s. Melanie grows on Louis’ nerves, leading him to shoot and kill her in the parking lot while making their escape. When Ordell later discovers that Louis has only delivered $40,000 (Melanie having taken $10,000 for herself after being tricked into doing so by Jackie) Ordell kills him, now understanding that Jackie took his money. Max and Jackie ultimately lure Ordell back to Max’s office to claim his money. Jackie yells out that Ordell has a gun and Ordell is shot by Nicolette who was hidden in the office. The movie ends with Max saying no to Jackie’s invitation to come with her as she leaves the country with Ordell’s money and the two part after a kiss.

REVIEW:

This film was billed as Quentin Tarrantino’s follow up to Pulp Fiction. The operative word there is follow up, not sequel. A common misconception is that that these are pretty much the same film. Other than a few references and both starring Samuel L. Jackson, there is nothing tying the two together…not counting Tarrantino himself, of course. Jackie Brown has a darker tone, with less humor, and if you don’t pay attention, can be more confusing than it’s predecessor.

Pam Grier stars in the title role. For the longest time, I thought the title was a reference to her film Foxy Brown. I’m not sure of Pam’s age, but one thing is for sure, she’s still a total hottie. Despite her hotness, though, she can really act. IT takes some serious acting chops to pull off a character who double crosses everyone and smiles while doing it.

Samuel L. Jackson lights up the screen as Ordell Robbie, a gun smuggler (with a ponytail and weird Fu-Manchu beard). Jackson owns this character, as he does all his roles. WE first meet him on the couch just rambling on to Robert De Niro’s character about guns. As the film progresses, though, he becomes more of the violent gangster we know he really is.

Speaking of De Niro, one would expect a big name actor like him to have a huge role, but he takes a small, but major role as Louis, Ordell’s homeboy from Detroit, who seems to have smoked himself retarded. Do I really need to tell you anything about Robert De Niro? No, but I do wish his character would have been a bit more representative of his talents. Now that I think about it, maybe he was.

Robert Forester comes in as the bail bondsman who seems to tie this whole thing together, but still doesn’t quite understand what is going on. Forester maintains his gruff, solemn demeanor, even at film;s end after he gets a bit flustered by a kiss from Jackie.

Michael Keaton, Bridget Fonda, and Chris Tucker all have small, yet important roles. Keaton even reprises his role in Out of Sight. The importance of that, even though it’s only a cameo, is that the two films have nothing to do with each other excerpt being based on the same novel. There are even different directors.

This film is mostly people walking around cussing each other out, Ordell bailing them out of jail, and Robert forester and the cops trying to stay one step ahead of him. This goes on for 2 1/2 hours, but there is just something about it all that keep your attention, maybe it’s the cast, maybe it’s the fact that you don’t know exactly what is going to happen, maybe it’s morbid curiosity, I don’t know.

I’ll be the first to admit that it took me a couple of times of watching this to actually understand what was going on, and even now I still get bit over-queried. It is important to remember, though, that with Quentin Tarrantino films, one has to fully open their mind. After you do that, everything will make sense.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

PLOT:

Ten years have passed since the invasion of Naboo, and the Galactic Republic is experiencing a crisis. Former Jedi Master Count Dooku has organized a Separatist movement against the Republic, making it difficult for the Jedi to maintain the peace. The Republic contemplates creating an army to assist the Jedi, prompting Senator Padmé Amidala, former Queen of Naboo, to return to Coruscant to vote on the matter. Upon her arrival, she narrowly escapes an assassination attempt. Shaken by the close call, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine assigns Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and his apprentice Anakin Skywalker to protect her. That night, another attempt on the Senator’s life is made, though Obi-Wan and Anakin foil the plot and subdue the assassin, who is permanently silenced by her mysterious employer when the Jedi force her to reveal vital information. Returning to the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan is assigned to investigate the identity of the assassin’s killer, while Anakin is assigned to escort and accompany Senator Amidala to her homeplanet of Naboo. Anakin, who has grown infatuated with Padmé, relishes the opportunity to spend time with her, though Padmé resists her feelings toward him, as that would go against the moral codes of their careers as a Jedi and a senator, respectively.

Obi-Wan’s investigation leads him to the remote planet of Kamino, where he discovers that an army of clones is being secretly produced for the Republic. Obi-Wan deduces the clones’ template, a bounty hunter named Jango Fett, is the killer he’s looking for. After unsuccessfully trying to capture him, Obi-Wan tracks him down to the planet Geonosis. Anakin, meanwhile, has grown troubled with recurring nightmares about his mother, whom he had left behind on Tatooine when he set off to become a Jedi, in grave danger. In defiance of his orders to remain on Naboo, Anakin convinces Padmé to accompany him to Tatooine to save his mother. There he finds her abducted and beaten by Tusken Raiders, and she dies in his arms. Anakin succumbs to his grief and rage, slaughtering the entire Tusken community.

On Geonosis, Obi-Wan learns it was Nute Gunray who authorized the assassination attempt on Senator Amidala, and that the Separatists are in development of a new droid army. Obi-Wan relays this information via hologram to Anakin, who transmits it to the Jedi Council, though Obi-Wan is captured mid-transmission. While Anakin and Padmé head to Geonosis to rescue Obi-Wan, Chancellor Palpatine is granted emergency powers to organize the clone army and send them into battle. Shortly after arriving on Geonosis, Anakin and Padmé are captured and sentenced to death along with Obi-Wan. Preparing for what could be their final moments, Padmé finally reveals her feelings for Anakin. The three are pitted against savage beasts, though they manage to hold their own before Jedi Master Mace Windu arrives with a team of Jedi to assist them, engaging and decapitating Jango Fett in the brief battle. After a heated struggle, Jedi Master Yoda arrives with the clone army and collects the surviving Jedi.

As a large battle erupts between the Republic’s clone army and the Separatist’s droid forces, Count Dooku attempts to escape. Obi-Wan and Anakin corner him in a hangar and engage him in a lightsaber duel, but he outmatches and defeats them with his mastery of the dark side of the Force, cutting off Anakin’s arm in the process. Yoda engages Dooku in a fierce duel, though Dooku manages to escape once more, taking the plans for a new “ultimate weapon” to his Sith master on Coruscant. The Jedi are now uncertain of what will become of the Republic, now that the Clone Wars have begun. Chancellor Palpatine oversees the launching of massive clone trooper forces. Meanwhile, Anakin, with a new cybernetic arm, secretly marries Padmé on Naboo, with C-3PO and R2-D2 as witnesses.

REVIEW:

I’ve noticed that a trend in trilogies is for the second film to be the best of the 3. Attack of the Clonesfits that stereotype perfectly.

As good as Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menacewas, it was rooted more in drama, rather than action. Having said that, critics of the first film said there was no romance. To this day, I don’t understand why there just needed to be a romance, but they got their wish with this film as Anakin and Padme share a forbidden love. Aside from the love story, we get lots more action and more wondrous, vintage Star Wars creatures and locales, such as Kamino, a watery planet inhabited by tall, white creatures with very long necks (and 6 pack abs).

Critics have panned the acting in this film, especially Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin. I find it hard to disagree with them. Christensen, though, is like Keanu Reeves and Ryan Philippe, devoid of emotion and depth. Having seen Hayden in other works outside of these films, I know that it his talent that is lacking, and not the character or script. Still, he doesn’t totally suck in the role. After all, Anakin is slowly but surely turning to the dark side. The one spark of emotion we get is in his most emotional scene following the death of his mother, and even that is barely a tilt one way or another from normal.

Natalie Portman returns as Padme Amidala, who is now a Senator, rather than queen. It must be some kind of weird custom on Naboo for the women to have those weird hairdos, because her hair, although tones down from the first film, is still constantly being mutated into weird shapes. She obviously has some real acting talent, and as the film goes on, we start to feel as if she’s human and not a droid like R2-D2 and C-3PO. It seems as if she was uncomfortable in the early scenes, but as she gained confidence with her character, her acting gets better. This could also have something to do, or not, with her wardrobe that shows her bare midriff.

Ewan McGregor comes into this film with a full beard as an attempt to put the fans more in the mind of Alec Guiness’ Obi-Wan. I’d say this was a mistake, but it actually makes him look older and more believable than he was in the first film.

The highlight of the film for me, has to be the lightsaber/force battle between Yoda and Count Dooku. Longtime Star Wars fans know Yoda best as a feeble old muppet creature who is very wise. This battle with Dooku, albeit short, is impressive, because we really get to see that he can use the skills he teaches young Jedi. Also, we get to see the other Jedi knights in action, including Mace Windu.

Yoda has a line in Return of the Jedi, I believe that says, “action, adventure…a jedi craves not these things.” Well, if you’re watching this film, then you crave action, adventure, a little romance and a little comedy. That’s a nice little mixture, isn’t it? No wonder this is the best of the prequel trilogy.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars