Bernie

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In small-town Carthage, Texas, local assistant mortician Bernie Tiede (Jack Black), a beloved member of the community, becomes the only friend of the wealthy, recently widowed Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine), who is widely considered cold and unpleasant by the other townsfolk. Tiede, in his late 30s, and the elderly Nugent quickly become inseparable, frequently traveling and lunching together, though Tiede’s social life becomes hindered by Nugent’s constant and sometimes abusive need for his attention.

Tiede murders Nugent after growing weary of the emotional toll of her possessiveness, persistent nagging and non-stop putdowns. For nine months, Tiede takes advantage of her poor reputation to excuse her absence with few questions while using her money to support local businesses and neighbors. Finally, Nugent’s stockbroker becomes concerned by her absence and enlists the help of her estranged family by using Tiede’s neglect of payments previously agreed upon by the family. This results in an authorized police search of her house that concludes with the discovery of her body in a meat freezer.

The local district attorney, Danny Buck Davidson (Matthew McConaughey) charges Tiede with first-degree (premeditated) murder. Tiede is arrested and he soon confesses that he killed Nugent while claiming her emotional abuse as a mitigating circumstance. Despite this confession, many citizens of Carthage still rally to the murderer’s defense, with some even asserting that Nugent deserved to die. Frustrated, Davidson successfully requests a change of venue to the town of San Augustine, 50 miles away, to avoid selecting a biased jury. Despite the absence of evidence of premeditation, Tiede is found guilty as charged and imprisoned for life.

REVIEW:

Bernie is a true story, ya’ll. I kid you not, the first title card we see says, “you are fixin’ to see a true story”. The fact that it was written like that should tell you that this is not going to be some heavy-handed true life drama like other true stories we’ve seen over time.

What is this about?

In this black comedy inspired by a true story, affable Texas mortician Bernie befriends the small town’s wealthiest widow and then kills her. But despite the suspicious nature of her death, no one wants to think anything but the best of Bernie.

What did I like?

Different. I’m not exactly a huge fan of Jack Black. I find his comedy too…something…for my taste. So, the fact that he was starring in this film was a bit of a red flag for me, but he actually did a real good job. Apparently, others thought so too, because he was nominated for Best Actor Golden Globe. Stepping out of the box was good for Black. Maybe he should do it more often and continue to grow as an actor, rather than keep retreading on his tired schtick (which has been improved upon by Zach Galifianakis).

Townsfolk. Judging by the end credits, it seems that the townspeople used for the documentary setting of this are perhaps real people from Carthage, TX. Just like any other small town, they are quite the colorful bunch of characters. The little anecdotes they provide really spice things up.

76 trombones. The classic song from The Music Man, “76 Trombones” is performed by Bernie and his little theatre troupe. As a huge of the musical, it isn’t the best version, but it isn’t the worst. A very respectable version of it, if I say so myself. I wonder who thought to put that in there, because it was a stroke of genius!

What didn’t I like?

Lowlife. Bernie is so loved in this town that it seems as if no one really cared that he allegedly murdered this woman, plus she wasn’t exactly Little Miss Sunshine. Listening to the testimonies, all the people loved him, even when they were talking smack about him, but there was this one guy, the D.A., played by Matthew McCounaughey who, in today’s vernacular, is a “hater”. He’s so anti-Bernie that he gets the trial moved to a different town just so that he can get a win. That’s some low-level, dirty handed tactics, but he is a lawyer.

Don’t call me Shirley. It seems like every film I see Shirley MacLaine in nowadays, she’s playing the bitter old woman character. Don’t quote me on this, but I believe this can be traced back to Steel Magnolias. Ouizer was a great character, don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to wonder if she’s not like this in real life now because of all these rather unpleasant women she’s been on screen.

Mix and match. Two things bother me about this flick. First, they show the real Bernie Tiede at the end, and Jack Black doesn’t look anything like him. Truthfully, that isn’t that big of a deal, but I have to wonder if Black is doing a caricature of Bernie, or if he really is like this. Since we never hear him talk, one can’t really say. Second, the tone of the film is a bit of an issue. It starts off as a bit of a comedy, then turns into a legal drama of sorts. Personally, I think this film would be better served sticking with the dark comedy angle, rather than turning into Law & Order: Carthage, TX.

Bernie is one of those films that gets talked about but no one remembers even hearing about it when it was in theaters. I don’t even recall seeing a trailer for it, though I might have seen a poster in passing. All this is really a shame, because, truth be told, this is a good and enjoyable film. Yes, it has a few issues and is likely to turn some people off, but I would definitely watch it again. Check it out sometime!

3 3/4 out of 5 stars

Sweet Charity

PLOT:

Charity Hope Valentine (Shirley MacLaine) works as a taxi dancer along with her friends, Nickie (Chita Rivera) and Helene (Paula Kelly). She longs for love, but has bad luck with men being robbed and pushed off a bridge in Central Park by one ex-boyfriend. She meets famous actor Vittorio Vidal (Ricardo Montalban) and has a complicated, but pleasant evening with him.

After failing to find a new job through an employment agency, Charity meets shy Oscar Lindquist (John McMartin) in a stuck elevator. They strike up a relationship, but Charity does not reveal what she does for a living. When she finally does tell Oscar, he initially seems to accept it, but finally tells Charity that he cannot marry her.

The optimistic Charity faces her future, alone for the time being, living hopefully ever after.

An alternate ending found on the Laserdisc and DVD versions picks up after Oscar leaves Charity. Oscar starts to go crazy in his apartment and, feeling suffocated, goes for a walk in the park. He sees Charity on their bridge in Central Park and thinks she is going to jump. Racing to rescue her, he trips and falls in the water. Charity jumps in after him, but can’t swim so Oscar rescues her. Oscar realizes Charity is the only breath of fresh air in his life, proposes again, and she accepts. Fosse thought the ending was too corny, but filmed it in apprehension that the studio would demand a happy ending. In the end, though, they agreed with Fosse and kept the original bittersweet ending from the stage version.

REVIEW:

 For the casual musical fan, Sweet Charity may or may not ring any bells, but you are sure to know a couple of the songs. At least that’s how it was with me.

The last couple of musicals I’ve watched didn’t exactly blow me away with their music. Sweet Charity didn’t either, but at least the songs were memorable. With catchy tunes such as the “Hey, Big Spender!”, “If They Could See Me Now”,  and the showstopping “Rhythm of Life”, this film’s music really caught my attention.

The story is a nice, yet bittersweet tale. I mean, here have young Charity, a girl who works in a nightclub (for lack of a better term) and just has horrible luck with man. For goodness sakes, the first guy we see her with was married and pushed her off of a bridge! The guy whom she seems to be destined for leaves her at the proverbial alter, and the man of her dreams locks her in a closet all nigh, though that was a special circumstance.

Shirley MacLaine gives, arguably, her best performance here. As with most of today’s older actors, it is hard to look at her at this young age and then see her today, as she is almost unrecognizable, but it is indeed her. No wonder she has been around as long as she has.

Ricardo Montalban was born to play the cocky actor, but it is a shame his role was such a limited one. I would have liked for him to have had a longer scene or come back at the end.

John McMartin made a good match for MacLaine as Oscar Lindquist. He really sold all the quirks and issues this guy had.

One thing that I didn’t like about this film was the melancholy ending. I preferred the alternate ending, but I’m one of the handful of folks left in this world who actually like happy endings and not these sad, depressing type of things.

Final verdict on Sweet Charity? Well, there are better musicals out there, but this is still a fun film to watch. The story really captivates you, and I dare anyone to come away not feeling for Charity by the film’s end. Sure, this isn’t a must-see, but it is a definite should-see.

4 out of 5 stars

Valentine’s Day

PLOT:

In Los Angeles, florist Reed Bennett (Ashton Kutcher) proposes to his girlfriend Morley (Jessica Alba) who accepts, much to the surprise of Reed’s closest friends Alphonso (George Lopez) and Julia Fitzpatrick (Jennifer Garner). Morley changes her mind and leaves Reed later in the day. Alphonso tells Reed he and Julia knew it would never work out between him and Morley, and Reed wishes they had told him. On an airplane to Los Angeles, Kate Hazeltine (Julia Roberts), a captain in the U.S. Army on a one-day leave, befriends newly single Holden Bristow (Bradley Cooper). Kate and Holden chat, play a backgammon, and tell jokes. When the plane lands, and Kate has to wait hours for the taxi, Holden offers his limousine, which Kate accepts, as she only has one day to spend with her family before she has to come back into the army.

Julia, an elementary school teacher has fallen in love with Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey), but does not know that he is married. Reed finds out when Harrison orders flowers for his wife and girlfriend (Julia). Harrison tells her that he needs to go to San Francisco for a business trip. Wanting to surprise him, Julia buys a plane ticket to San Francisco. Reed quickly comes to the airport and warns Julia, and she refuses to believe it and gets on the plane. She goes to the hospital where he said he would be, and inquires after him. The nurses at the counter reveal to her that he is married and tell her the name of the restaurant where he and his wife will be dining that evening. As she teaches the owner’s son, the owner allows her to dress as a waitress. Julia makes a scene at the restaurant, and gives back the toy Harrison gave her that morning. Harrison’s wife, Pamela, becomes suspicious when Julia makes a comment referring to Harrison’s ability to juggle, and Harrison is seen eating pizza alone in a condo later on that evening, implying that Pamela has left him right after Julia’s scene. One of Julia’s students, Edison (Bryce Robinson), orders flowers from Reed, to be sent to his teacher. There is a delay in the delivery of flowers, but Edison insists that Reed delivers the flowers the same day. They are for Julia; however, she suggests to Edison to give the flowers to a lonely girl in the class who also has a crush on him, which he does.

Edison’s babysitter Grace (Emma Roberts) is planning to lose her virginity with her boyfriend Alex (Carter Jenkins). The planned encounter goes awry when Grace’s mom discovers a naked Alex in Grace’s room rehearsing a song he wrote for Grace on his guitar. Meanwhile Edison’s grandparents, Edgar (Hector Elizondo) and Estelle (Shirley MacLaine) are facing the troubles of a long marriage. Grace explains to them that she wants to have sex with Alex, and says, “It’s not like I am going to sleep with one person for the rest of my life.” This upsets Estelle and leads to her telling Edgar about an affair she had with one of his business partners. The affair was while he was away, and it didn’t last long. Although she is deeply sorry for what she did, Edgar is deeply upset. Grace’s high-school friends, Willy (Taylor Lautner) and Felicia (Taylor Swift), are experiencing the freshness of new love, and have agreed to wait to have sex. On Valentine’s Day, Willy gives Felicia a large white bear that she carries around with her everywhere and Felicia gets him a gray running t-shirt (which was his) and ironed the number 13 on the back for “good luck”. They are interviewed on the news and advertise their love and support for each other.

Sean Jackson (Eric Dane), a closeted gay professional football player, is contemplating the end of his career together with his publicist Kara (Jessica Biel) and his agent Paula (Queen Latifah). Kara, a close friend of Julia’s, is organizing her annual ‘I Hate Valentine’s Day’ party, but is becoming interested in sports reporter Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx) who has been sent out by his producer Susan (Kathy Bates) to cover Valentine’s Day because of a lack of sports news, and they share their mutual hatred of Valentine’s Day. Paula has hired a new receptionist named Liz (Anne Hathaway) who has started dating mailroom clerk Jason (Topher Grace). Jason is first shocked when Liz turns out to be moonlighting as a phone sex operator. Liz only does this because she has a student loan to pay off, has no insurance, and is completely broke. Jason decides that her job is too much for him to handle, but eventually comes back to the relationship after seeing Edgar forgive his wife, Estelle.

Sean comes out on national television, and Holden (who is Sean’s lover) goes back to him. Kate goes home to greet her son Edison. Willy drops Felicia off at home after a date and they kiss goodnight. Kelvin and Kara hang out at Kelvin’s news station where they later kiss, Alphonso dines with his wife, Grace and Alex agree to wait to have sex, Edgar and Estelle retell each other their marriage vows and kiss in the theater, Jason goes back to Liz and they decide to keep a bond together but to also “keep it simple”, Morley is shown walking her Border collie while trying to call Reed and the movie closes with Julia and Reed beginning a relationship.

REVIEW:

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that people either love to celebrate or hate. Depending on your views on the holiday (not to mention your current dating status and whatnot), the same could be said for hat you will think of Valentine’s Day.

There are two things that really stuck out to me in this picture. First, there was the fact that just about any and everyone in Hollywood that had some time was in here. Second, there are many similarities to Love, Actually.

In case you didn’t already know, this is a sappy, romantic comedy, chick flick that deals with a group of people and their (apparent) intertwining lives on Valentine’s Day. Each person has their own quirks and whatnot, such as the 5th grader boy who has a crush on someone in his class, the mailroom worker who had met a girl a couple of weeks ago, yet has no idea she’s a phone sex operator, the recently engaged florist, the cheating husband, etc.

Each of these characters is developed in such a way that we actually feel their pain and successes. I was actually amazed at how the director manged to get them all decent amounts of screentime without diluting their characters.

One thing that really struck me as astounding, especially in this day and age, is that there was hardly any talk of sex. I think there may have been a couple of subtle hints, and then there was the whole sex operator thing, but for the most part, as with all Gary Marshall films, this is a wholsome film, something we rarely get these days.

One would think that the younger actors would stand out, but that is not the case. Well, let me take that back the Taylors (Lautner and Swift) stunk up the joint. At least Lautner kept his shirt on. Personally, I think that if you’re going to have someone debut in such a large role (considering the large ensemble cast, this was) as Swift, then you should pair her up with a better actor. Lautner, though he tries, is nothing more than some abs, and Swift should stick to torturing the world with country music, but while she’s at it, she needs to eat a sandwich or 10!

Of all these stories in this film, I have to say that the best one was the interaction between Hector Elizando and Shirley MacLaine. There is just something about older people who have been in love all these years that just really gets me,

If I did have an issue with this film, it had to have been the music. The songs they chose were great, except the country ones at the end, but they were all covers of the originals. With the exception of the Indian version of Strevie Wonder’s “Singed, Sealed, Delivered”, I think these should have all been the original. Of course, that could just be the purist in me speaking, but it really irks me when I hear someone do a cover of a perfectly good song. The original was good enough when it was first released, what makes people think it isn’t good enough now? Thank goodness they didn’t mess with the Glenn Miller tunes that were playing in Hector Elizondo’s car.

I thought when I watched this that it was going to be one of those pictures that had too big of a cast, but as I said, it was amazing that they all got decent screentime. I’m not a big Valentine’s Day fan, and can imagine that if I were to watch this on V-Day, I’d have been sick, but any other day, it is a cute picture. Romance and comedy abound, as well as great performances from this all-star cast. If you’re in a sappy mood, check this one out.

4 out of 5 stars

Rumor Has It…

PLOT:

In 1997, Sarah Huttinger, an obituary and wedding announcement writer for the New York Times, travels to Pasadena for her sister Annie’s wedding accompanied by her fiancé Jeff Daly. At a pre-wedding party, Sarah learns from her grandmother Katharine that her mother Jocelyn ran off to Cabo San Lucas to spend time with her prep school classmate Beau Burroughs the week before her wedding to Sarah’s father Earl. Jeff points out Sarah’s parents were married just short of nine months before her birth, leading her to wonder if Beau might really be her biological father. Sarah also discovers her grandmother may have been the inspiration for Mrs. Robinson, an infamous character in the novel The Graduate.

After the wedding, determined to find out more about Beau and her mother’s past, Sarah decides to fly to San Francisco, where Beau, now a highly successful and very wealthy Silicon Valley Internet wizard, is addressing a seminar. She meets him and he admits to the affair, but assures Sarah he couldn’t be her father because he suffered blunt testicular trauma while playing in a high school soccer game and as a result is sterile. The two go out for drinks, and the following morning Sarah awakens in Beau’s bed in his Half Moon Bay home.

Although guilt-stricken by her behavior, Sarah allows Beau to convince her to be his date at a charity ball, where she meets Beau’s son. Beau explains his wife wanted a biological child and was artificially inseminated to become pregnant. Mollified, Sarah kisses Beau and is caught by Jeff, who has returned to California to find her. Following an ensuing argument, Jeff leaves her.

Dejected, Sarah returns to visit her grandmother, who flies into a rage when she learns Beau has slept with her. The two learn Annie suffered an anxiety attack while flying to her honeymoon and wants to talk to Sarah. Sarah tells her sister about the relationship three generations of Richelieu women have had with Beau. She reassures Annie she truly is in love with her husband Scott and in doing so realizes she’s ready to marry Jeff.

Earl reveals to Sarah he always knew about Jocelyn and Beau’s affair. Despite Beau being an adventure to her, Jocelyn returned to Earl because she loved him and he was someone with whom she could build a life. On the night she returned, Sarah was conceived. This explained the date difference between her birthday and her parents wedding.

Determined to win Jeff back, Sarah returns to New York City and tells her fiance of her feelings. They reconcile on the condition if they ever have a daughter, she won’t be allowed anywhere near Beau. The film ends with Sarah and Jeff’s wedding.

REVIEW:

This was really a cute movie. One of those typical romantic comedies, but it leaned more on the comedy than it did on the romance.

Meg Ryan may have been the romantic comedy queen at one time, but Jennifer Anniston seems to be just as good at these type of films. There’s just something about her that makes her the perfect fit for film in the genre.

Kevin Costner and Shirley MacLaine are two seasoned actors who add a nice bit of credibility to this film, though the thought of them sleeping together is a bit disturbing.

Mark Ruffalo comes off as a bit annoying throught this film, as he does in most of the films he’s in.

Mena Suvari is underused in this film. I know that Jennifer Aniston is the star, but they could have given her a few good scense here and there. At least she had that one good crying scene.

For me, romantic comedies are hit and miss. Sometimes I like them, and other times they’re just too sappy and borderline chick flicks. This one falls into the category of those that I like.

The relationship between Aniston and MacLaine is truly remarkable, especially since the mother has apparently passed away. It becomes even stronger when Costner comes into the picture. Of course, the fact that he’s slept with 3 generation of this family’s women doesn’t say much for him.

The film moves along at a nice pace. There is, of course, the sappy romantic happy ending at the end, but that is to be expected from this sort of film. There is even a shot of Jennifer Aniston’s sideboob for the guys. So, there’s something for everyone to enjoy!

4 out of 5 stars

Steel Magnolias

PLOT:

The action centers around Truvy’s beauty parlor and some women who regularly gather there. The drama begins on the morning of Shelby’s wedding to Jackson and covers events over the next three years, including Shelby’s decision to have a child despite having Type 1 diabetes and the complications that result from the decision. We also get a glimpse of the unlikely friendship between Clairee and Ouiser; Annelle’s transformation from a shy, anxious newcomer in town, to a partying woman, then to a religious fundamentalist; and Truvy’s relationships with the men in her family. Although the main storyline involves Shelby, her mother, and Shelby’s medical battles, the underlying group-friendship among all six women is prominent throughout the drama.

REVIEW:

I was in elementary school when this movie was filmed, but I lived about 2 hrs away from Natchitoches, LA, so it was big news that a big movie such as this was being filmed so close, especially with big names such as Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, and Dolly Parton. Years later when I went to college in Natchitoches, there is still talk and buzz about the filming.  Especially from those that were extras in the film and had some screen time and the houses and buildings that were used in the film.

Everytime I see this film, I’m reminded of Natchitoches, but this is a review about the movie, not a trip down memory lane.

This is an ensemble “chick flick” that mixes drama with bits of comedy that keep what could be a very depressing film from getting, well…depressing. I think it is for that reason that I will willingly watch thing film…aside from the fact that its set in Natchitoches.

Each woman gives a powerful performance, especially Julia Roberts and Sally Field. I do wish they would have said exactly what caused Shelby’s death. We assume it’s a mixture of her diabetes and strain from the kidney transplant, but it is never said for certain.

The men are pretty much non-existent in this film aside from an occasional line here and there, but like I said before the film centers around the women, the “Steel Magnolias.”

I recommend this film for those girls out there who want a good cry and something to cuddle up and watch with their man. Guys, I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to suck it up. There is some shootin’ and drinkin’ that goes on, though.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars