Archive for April, 2010

National Lampoon’s Pledge This!

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2010 by Mystery Man


When a dorm toilet explodes on the first day back to school, a group of misfit girlfriends are forced to leave their housing and search for a new home. They ultimately decide on pledging a sorority. However, not many sororities are normal at South Beach University. The girls decide to pledge the most popular and exclusive sorority at the university, Gamma Gamma, which is led by president Victoria English (Hilton).

While pledging the sorority, Victoria sends the girls to do a task: collect used condoms, while searching the park, the leader of the group Gloria bumps into Victoria’s boyfriend Derek (‘baby dick’ called by Victoria) and they become close. The only reason Victoria plans to let the freshmen pledge is to display diversity, which is a requirement for the “FHM Hottest Sorority In The Country” contest. From then on, Victoria declares war on the girls during “Hell Week” but ultimately lets them join, only to kick them out once they have won the contest. This angers the leader of the misfit freshmen, Gloria. Gloria decides to quite the sorority as do her friends. Derek and Gloria realize their feelings towards each other and seal it with a kiss.

Gloria’s ex-best friend, Kristen desperate for wanting to get into Gamma Gamma convinces Gloria to come back. Gloria and her friends come back but only to declare war on Victoria by sneaking into the Gamma Gamma house and stealing embarrassing photos and video footage of Victoria to show to everyone at the Gamma Gamma victory party. She also reveals to Victoria that she and Derek love each other and before kissing him says, “Pledge This!”. Victoria becomes embarrassed and eventually makes a public apology to the freshmen. The movie ends with a giant food fight at the Gamma Gamma party, and Victoria saying that she loved her cover of “FHM” so much she bought the magazine. Gloria becomes the president of Gamma Gamma the following year. And everyone is at peace.


Look, there’s no reason to even waste the time reviewing this. You see Paris Hilton is the star (and producer) of this thing…that should be a red flag.

Hilton does nothing more than parade around the entire picture making all the men in the cast act as if she’s the hottest thing on the face of the earth, which is far from the case. In most of the scenes, she’s not even the hottest woman on-screen.

The plot of this this is not a bad one, but rather is brought down by bad directing and acting. It is as simple as that. For me, it was a bit formulaic. It was quite obvious that it was the mean girl sorority against the rejects.

The filmmakers are suing Paris for not promoting this mess. I wouldn’t be proud of this crap either, but apparently, they added nude scenes to the unrated DVD release (it was never released in theaters, as originally planned), and she didn’t care for them. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m a red-blooded, straight male, but I belive the nudity kept this thing at least slightly interesting.

OK, it comes down to this. National Lampoon has steadily gone down in their movies since the days of Chevy Chase’s Vacation franchise. Van Wilder has been the only redeeming flick that has been released (that comes to mind) since then. Pledge This! is an insult to one’s intelligence. I can’t belive I sat through this entire thing. Having said that, it wasn’t as bad as Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, but its close. With every fiber of my being, I have to implore you to stay away from this flick. Unless you’re a fan of Paris Hilton, there really is no reason to waste 90 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back!

1 out of 5 stars

Planet 51

Posted in Animation, Comedy, Family, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2010 by Mystery Man


Outside the theater is the town of Glipforg on Planet 51, a world populated by little green aliens who live in a society reminiscent of 1950s USA. Lem (Justin Long) is a teenaged alien who has just gotten a job at the local planetarium museum, and his family and friends are excited about it. His best friend Skiff (Seann William Scott), a geeky alien teen who works at the local comic book store, is a huge fan of the “Humaniacs” films.

When Lem gets home, he asks his next door neighbor and friend, Eckle (Freddie Benedict) about Neera (Jessica Biel), who is Lem’s long-time crush. Lem’s family is holding a barbecue with the neighbors. Neera is at the barbecue, but when Lem attempts to ask her out, he keeps being interrupted by Neera’s hippie friend, Glar.

Meanwhile, a mysterious spacecraft pulls into orbit around Planet 51, sending out a blinking red signal. Down on the planet, under a hidden army base called “Base 9”, the aliens’ version of Area 51, there is a basement filled with artifacts from Earth. One artifact “wakes up” from the signal; it is a wheeled probe with artificial intelligence, named “Rover.” Rover breaks out of the basement and escapes to perform its primary mission: to find the astronaut. Its secondary mission is to collect rocks. The army becomes suspicious of Rover’s escape and begins to look into its activity.

Meanwhile, just as the barbecue starts, a spacecraft similar to the lunar module touches down right in Lem’s backyard. A NASA Astronaut (Dwayne Johnson), Charles ‘Chuck’ Baker, emerges. As Chuck plants the U.S. flag, he’s startled to step on an alien “rubber ducky” someone left on the ground. Everyone stares, and Chuck attempts to get back into his module – but Eckle is in his way, eager for an autograph. Chuck ends up running about, shocked at the revelation that he’s on an inhabited planet. Chuck goes into hiding, while the army arrives on the scene.

General Grawl (Gary Oldman) is at the head of the investigation, and consults Professor Kipple (John Cleese) on intelligence about the “alien invader.” The army then quarantines the area and has citizens start a local “civil defense” force to protect the citizens from becoming “zombies.”

Lem discovers Chuck hiding at the planetarium, and both are surprised to learn they speak the same language. Lem realizes this “alien” is no threat, and decides to help Chuck, though it costs him his job and a near arrest at the hands of the army. It becomes apparent that Chuck can’t go anywhere near his module, so Lem hides Chuck in his room for the night.

In the meantime, Rover locates Chuck. Chuck is very happy to see the robot when they reunite, though he tells Rover the probe was not helpful barely escape with Chuck before the general and his men search Lem’s room. The group somehow manages to sneak Chuck into the planetarium, and while there, Chuck admits to Lem that he never had “the right stuff.” He says that Lem was the one who had “the right stuff” all along, making risks and sacrifices just for a stranger. Chuck also shows Lem the star that Earth orbits, and how the universe is so much bigger than Lem had thought.

The next morning, the army brings in vehicles to take Chuck’s module to a secret location. Even the media isn’t allowed to tell where the spacecraft is going.

Lem and Skiff are at a loss for getting Chuck reunited with his craft, but they get an idea from the comic book store. The next night is the première of a new “Humaniacs” movie, and a costume contest will be held. Lem, Skiff, and Chuck disguise themselves as costumed fans, though Chuck gets pulled into the contest. Chuck then introduces some new music as part of the contest and teaches Lem on the spot how to dance. Things go well until Rover comes on the scene, and the aliens at the contest freak at the sight of him. Chaos ensues, and army soldiers start unmasking costumed fans, since they believe the “alien” is among them. General Grawl and Professor Kipple are there, and when the general points out that the alien is wearing a “uniform,” compared to the other costumed fans, Chuck’s United States Flag insignia is a dead giveaway.

Chuck is captured and unmasked for all to see. When Lem tries to defend Chuck and keep him from being taken away, General Grawl labels Lem a zombie, and Professor Kipple announces he will dissect both their brains. Chuck is not willing to drag Lem into this, so he pretends to “release” Lem from his control, and the crowd believes it. Both Chuck and Rover are locked into armored vehicles and taken away, and Lem is proclaimed a hero.

At Base 9, General Grawl attempts to get some answers out of Chuck, warning that if he tries taking over the minds of the soldiers in the room, a chain reaction will set off and everyone will shoot at each other and possibly be electrocuted. An acidental gunshot starts said chain reaction, but Chuck is not affected by it. General Grawl survives the electrocution and mistakes the fight as Chuck resisting his demands through his ‘zombies’, and allows Professor Kipple to have a go at dissecting Chuck’s brain.

Lem gets his job back at the planetarium and gets to speak on tv, but he cannot truly accept the honor. He feels terrible about Chuck and decides to do the right thing. He hotwires a car, and while he’s in the process, Neera comes to talk to him, admiring what he’s doing. Neera, Skiff, and Eckle join Lem as they go off to rescue Chuck. However, not only do they not know where the army took him, but they feel they can’t find the astronaut without Rover, who had also been taken by the army. But luck is on their side when the little robot shows up on the edge of town, revealing that he unscrewed all the bolts holding the armored vehicle in which he was imprisoned.

The teens have Rover act as a bloodhound, sniffing out Chuck’s trail, leading them to an abandoned gas station in the middle of the desert. They explore, and Skiff sees a “Coca-Cola” bottle in an old fridge, though when he tries to take it, it’s actually a hidden trigger that opens up the entrance to Base 9. Lem has Glar distract the soldiers guarding the base with his protest group while the rest of them sneak into the base.

In a laboratory, Chuck is strapped to a table while Professor Kipple gets ready to take his brain out. Lem and his friends break in through the ceiling, using Rover to scare away the scientists, technicians and guards. They release Chuck and immediately set off alarms by doing so.

Rover helps the group find Chuck’s ‘lunar’ module, which had been placed in a hangar, but General Grawl stops them. He warns that if the “alien” attempts to leave, the entire hangar will blow up, and reveals the place is rigged with bombs. Lem tries reasoning with Grawl, which in fact is a distraction to set off the bombs and use the confusion to help Chuck escape. Most of the soldiers flee the firestorm, and the General is knocked out amidst the falling debris. Lem, Neera, Eckle, Skiff, and Rover all get into the module, but Chuck decides he can’t leave the General to die, and rescues him from the fire.

To escape the growing firestorm, Chuck pilots the ship into orbit around the planet, allowing the alien kids to experience outer space. Kiff, Eckle, and Rover enjoy the weightlessness, General Grawl realizes that Chuck is friendly and hasn’t turned him into a zombie, and Lem finally gets to ask Neera out on a date.

Chuck pilots the module back to the planet’s surface, and although the army is ready to shoot as everyone walks out, the General stops them from shooting and says that Chuck is with him. Finally the aliens of Planet 51 get to see that Chuck is harmless and never intended to hurt anyone. Chuck lets Rover stay and become Skiff’s pet, and Chuck says goodbye to everyone on Planet 51.

After the credits Professor Kipple survived the explosion faced the two soldiers who previously encountered Chuck and Rover bring him down. Chuck leaves Planet 51 peacefully but the alien dog got on board his ship and became Chuck’s pet.


So, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that this what the world would be like if things were still like they were in the 50s. Not to shabby. Take a notice at how clean everything is. Not to mention not a single mention of crime anywhere. Hmm…maybe there is something to this.

Planet 51 derives its title from the “secret” alien site, Area 51. Its kind of funny that its called planet 51, coupled with Base 9 (their equivalent of Area 51), it is really like some sort of reversed version of our world.

There are plenty of gags in this film to keep the whole family interested, though some may be a bit over younger viewer’s heads, such as the dogs which resemble the alien from the Alien movies.

There aren’t many people who can pull off playing a cocky, egotistical, astronaut, but Dwayne Johnson does just that. Remembering the kind of character he played in the WWE ring as THe Rock, I’m not really surprised, and neither should anyone else. He can pull this off with ease without blinking.

This planet has a lot of similarities with Earth, but the biggest one has to be that the military is shoot first, ask questions later. I swear…these militaries are going to do this one day and end up getting the planet blown up!

The story here, though, is the one thing that I found a little on the weak side. There wasn’t anything wrong with the tale of an aastronaut crashing ona foreign planet and has to get back to his ship…blah, blah, blah. However,aside for the fact that this was a very predictable story, it just didn’t click for some reason. I’m not really sure why, either.

Critics have bashed this film. Whatever they say and didn’t like, I didn’t see. I almost loved this film. It had some issues here and there, but it is far from being a bad picture. Of course, I may be a little biased due to the 50s setting and all. It is quite possible that this film is just underrated and underappreciated. Critics are just looking for something to bash, and they made Planet 51 their scapegoat. It’s quite sad, actually. Having said all that, this is a good family film that is far from being a waste of time. AS with any film, some are going to like and some are going to hate it, but that’s the way of the world. We all have our opinions. For me however, I really liked this flick and recommend it to and everyone.

4 out of 5 stars

The Animal

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Mystery Man


Marvin Mange (Rob Schneider) is a meek, uncoordinated man who dreams of being a police officer like his dad was. Instead, Marvin just works as a trainee in the evidence room of a small town police station. He tries a few times to pass the physical test to become a full-fledged police officer, but he just can’t seem to finish the obstacle course.

One day, while left alone at the station, he receives a robbery call. With all of the real policemen out at a softball game, Marvin rushes to the scene himself. Along the way, he swerves to avoid a seal in the road and crashes over a cliff. He is critically injured, but is rescued by Dr. Wilder (Michael Caton), a mad scientist who puts Marvin back together using animal parts.

Days later, Marvin is returned to his normal life with no memory of what he has just been through. Suddenly, he’s full of life. He can out-run horses, mean dogs are now scared of him, and he doesn’t need his asthma medicine anymore. He thinks it’s due to his late-night TV purchase of “Badger Milk”, which is guaranteed in the ads to make him stronger.

One day at the park, Marvin meets Rianna (Colleen Haskell) while she’s out walking dogs from her animal shelter. His animal-like tendencies are slowly taking him over. When a frisbee is thrown in his direction, he can’t control himself, and he jumps to catch it in his mouth.

He goes to the airport to talk to his friend, Miles the security guard (Guy Torry), about his problem. While there, Marvin sniffs out a man trying to hide heroin in his rectum. For uncovering a drug smuggler, Marvin is declared a hero and is made a full-fledged police officer.

As days go by, Marvin’s animal instincts are becoming stronger and stronger. He often wakes up in strange places, and subsequently, hears about animal attacks that occurred in the middle of the night. Because of these attacks, Dr. Wilder believes that Marvin is out of control. The mad scientist confronts him, takes him to his barnyard laboratory, and explains about the grafts and transplants that saved and changed Marvin’s life, and gave him remarkable animal powers with certain problematic side effects.

Later at a party thrown by the Mayor (Scott Wilson), Marvin chases after a cat and destroys everything around him in the pursuit. Marvin is fired on the spot. During his reprimand, he hears something, jumps into the nearby lake and rescues the mayor’s son using powers derived from a sea lion and a dolphin. He is swiftly reinstated.

Chief Wilson (Edward Asner) questions Marvin about the late-night attacks on farm animals, because one of witnesses made a police sketch—and it is identical to Marvin.

Rianna goes to Marvin’s house, where he has barricaded himself inside. They spend the night together, but Marvin wants to be tied up so he can’t hurt anyone anymore. In the morning, he finds himself untied, because Rianna thought he looked uncomfortable. Suddenly, the police show up outside. Another attack had happened that night, and the police have come for Marvin. Rianna convinces him to run.

Marvin escapes to the woods, where a huge chase ensues. The police have organized an angry mob into a search party to catch Marvin. While running through the woods, Marvin finds Dr. Wilder. The scientist tells him that there was another “patient” of his that is out of control, and he is in the woods looking for it.

Sgt. Sisk (John C. McGinley) confronts Marvin, and is about to shoot him. Suddenly, the other “animal” jumps from a tree and knocks Sisk down. It’s Rianna. Now, the crowd finds them both together. One man (Adam Sandler) even exclaims, “You can do it. Cut his freaking balls off!” Miles is there also, and he takes the blame for everything. He has been claiming that there is reverse discrimination with him since he’s black, and that no one wants to hold him accountable for anything. Sure enough, once the mob thinks a black man was the responsible party, they don’t care anymore, and leave, one man (Norm Macdonald) saying “I’m never gonna be part of a mob to kill a black guy, I’ll tell ya’ that.”

Marvin and Rianna get married, and have a litter of children that each look like Marvin. While watching the television, they see Dr. Wilder win the Nobel Peace Prize. He says he owes it all to his fiancee, who happens to be the same woman from the Badger Milk commercial. When she turns around to kiss him, there is a large scar shown on her back, implying that Wilder performed the experiment on her as well.


I think I’m one of the few people around who actually like Rob Schenider’s movies. They aren’t the best, most thought-out, deep movies, but they are funny, and everyone needs a good laugh every now and then, right?

The Animal is a great outing for Schneider. With the exception of the Deuce Bigalow films, I think this is his best work.

The story about a hapless wannabe cop who works in the evidence room and inadvertently gets in an accident and is put back together with animal parts is awesome. Of course, with Schneider, you can count on lots of physical comedy, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get with this.

John C. McGinley was a bit over the top for my taste as Sgt. Sisk, but considering how he is in most of his roles, I really shouldn’t be surprised about this.

Colleen Haskell makes for a good female lead, especially when you consider she is not an actress, but rather a Survivor  cast off.

I didn’t particularly care for the two friends. I realize they didn’t really have any purpose other than to offer support for Marvin, but this film would have worked just as well without them, especially Guy Torry’s character who seemed to be obsessed with trying to debunk racial conspiracies. I know some people find this funny, but for me it didn’t work.

The comedy in this picture revolves almost exclusively around Schenider’s performance as an animal. He does an excellent job making the audience believe he was actually put together with animal parts, but I would have like to have seen more, but that’s just me.

I’ve read a ton of reviews about this flick, bashing the heck out of it, but at the same time saying it is still funny. You can’t deny this is a funny flick, but it is not worth bashing. Sure, it isn’t a great picture in comparison to other fine pictures, but do you actually except that from Rob Schenider? Seriously? When you see one of his films, you know what to expect, so if you’re interested, check it out.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Mannequin 2: On the Move

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on April 25, 2010 by Mystery Man


Flamboyant window dresser Hollywood Montrose (Taylor) has now been promoted to the head of Prince & Company’s visual display department. He takes on a new assistant, Jason Williamson (Ragsdale), who in times past was Prince William, the dauphin of the kingdom of Hauptmann-Koenig. One thousand years ago, he lost his beloved Jessie (Swanson) when an evil sorcerer (Kiser) turned her into a wooden icon, now known as the Enchanted Peasant Girl. As a tribute to Hauptmann-Koenig, the Enchanted Peasant Girl is being sent to Prince & Company for a window display. Jason awakens Jessie and the two get reacquainted, having a millennium of things to catch up on. But the evil sorcerer, now reincarnated as Count Gunther Spretzle, arrives on the scene to take Jessie (and a prize necklace) and hop a flight for Bermuda, with Jason as the only one who can stop him.


With the way Mannequin ended, one would think if they had to do a sequel, it would pick up the story where they left off, not come up with a new story altogether, but that what they did with Mannequin 2: On the Move.

The first thing I have to say about this flick is that the story is better than the original, but the acting is so terrible that it takes away from it.

Usually in films there is maybe one or two people who catch your attention with their performance. That is not the case here. While Meshach Taylor does light up the screen with his flamboyant Hollywood and Kristy Swanson makes you fall in love with her pure innocence, neither does enough to leave you wanting more.

When they first turn her into a mannequin, she is plastic. If I’m not mistaken, they didn’t have plastic in the middle ages. What’s worse is they were claiming this was wood. There was nothing that looked anything like wood about her.

The 3 security guys that were supposed to be protecting the peasant girl just seemed to be trying too hard to be funny. They have their moments, but just come off as second-rate hybrids of Hanz and Franz and the Keystone Cops.

The Count/Sorcerer doesn’t seem to have a place in this film as anything more than a bumbling villain. Not quite sure what was up with the mile with the giant hair coming out of it, though. It was kind of gross, if you ask me.

Above all this, is the love story between a guy and his mannequin. Unlike the first one, there aren’t gags of him taking her all over the place where to everyone but him she appears as a mannequin. She is fully real when she doesn’t have the necklace on.

When it comes down to it, this film isn’t that far below its predecessor. That being said, the issues in this film can’t be overcome by this viewer, and I’m sure many of you will feel the same way. I wanted to like this flick, I really did, but it just didn’t happen. I’ve seen plenty of worse films, but this thing had no business being this average.

3 out of 5 stars


Posted in Chick Flicks, Classics, Movie Reviews, Musicals with tags , , , , on April 24, 2010 by Mystery Man


Americans Tommy Albright (Gene Kelly) and Jeff Douglas (Van Johnson) are on a hunting trip in Scotland and become lost in the woodlands. They happen upon Brigadoon, a miraculously blessed village that rises out of the mists every hundred years for only a day. (This was done so that the village would never be changed or destroyed by the outside world.) Tommy falls in love with village lass Fiona Campbell (Cyd CharisseWhen he learns his love for Fiona will make it possible for him to remain in Brigadoon forever, he initially is willing to commit himself but backs down as the day ends and Brigadoon disappears. Back in New York City, he can think only of Fiona. He returns to Scotland. There, his great love causes Brigadoon to materialize before its appointed time. He crosses the bridge to the village and is united with Fiona forever.


I’m not entirely keen on the whole Scottish heritage thing. Not that I have anything against kilts and haggis and stuff, just not my cup of tea, so the fact that I willingly chose to watch  film that is knee-deep in the lore of the land, Brigadoon, is quite intriguing, to say the least.

Fact of the matter is, this musical includes one of my favorite musical songs, “Almost Like Being in Love”. Unfortunately, the rest of the songs in this flick are rather forgettable. The one song that does sort of stick in your head, “I’ll Go Home with Bonnie Jean”, is more of a dance number with some words. Don’t get me wrong, the music is quite well written, it just doesn’t stick with you long after the songs are over.

If you take out the music, you have quite an interesting story here. A mysterious town that only appears every 100 years, two hapless chaps who happen to stumble on it and one of them falls in love with a girl in town, the townspeople can’t leave without breaking the promise that allows them and the town to live on forever. All sorts of little ins and outs like that which make this story more in-depth than you would imagine, especially for the early 50s.

I’m sure you’ve all seen flicks from yesteryear and noticed that the backgrounds are nothing more than giant paintings. Well, other than the old Batman TV show, I’ve never seen such fake backdrops as in this flick. I don’t want to make it sound as if that’s a bad thing, it adds to the charm of the picture, but at the same time, you’d think they would have found a better way to make them look a bit more un-painting-like.

If you have a film with Gene Kelly, you can rest assured you’ll get some elaborate dance numbers. This flick is no exception. While not his best work, probably because he was also the choreographer, it still shows off his mastery of the dancefloor. Couple him with Van Johnson Cyd Charisse and this could have been a true dance masterpiece if they would have let it go that way.

So, what else can I say about this film. It’s not the best musical out there, but it doesn’t suck. As a matter of fact, its well above average. There is no lull in the middle, but the final 15 minutes or so seem a bit tacked on, but that could just be me. I would recommend this to anyone who loves musicals and those who don’t. There is singing, dancing, romance, comedy, intrigue…everything anyone could want.

4 out of 5 stars

Jennifer’s Body

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , on April 24, 2010 by Mystery Man


Insecure Anita “Needy” Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) and popular flag girl Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) have been best friends since childhood, despite having little in common. One night, Jennifer takes Needy to a local dive bar to attend a concert by indie rock band Low Shoulder. A suspicious fire engulfs the bar, killing several spectators, and Jennifer is taken by the band despite Needy’s attempts to stop her.Jennifer reveals to the band leader that she is a virgin, and the band uses her as a sacrifice to the demons, enabling popularity to their music. Jennifer’s body is quickly inhabited by a demon. Later that evening, Jennifer, covered in blood, appears in Needy’s kitchen and proceeds to eat food from the refrigerator. Unable to digest the matter, she vomits a trail of black fluid and then leaves in a hurry as Needy calls after her.

The next morning at school, Jennifer appears fine and shrugs off Needy’s concerns. While the small town is devastated by the numerous deaths caused by the fire, Jennifer seduces the school’s football captain, and then attacks him in the woods, where his bloodied corpse is found later. The band gains popularity due to their rumored heroism during the fire.

A month later, Jennifer is beginning to look pale and accepts an invitation by school punk Colin (Kyle Gallner), only to brutally kill him that night. While Needy and her boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons), engage in sex, Needy senses something dreadful has happened. She leaves in a panic and almost runs over Jennifer, covered in blood. She rushes home and finds Jennifer in her bedroom who initiates physical intimacy with her and soon explains what happened after the fire: Low Shoulder took her into the woods, and offered her as a virgin sacrifice to Satan in exchange for fame and fortune. However, although the sacrifice and greedy exchange were a success, Jennifer was not a virgin, and when the lead singer Nikolai (Adam Brody) murdered her, a demonic spirit took over her body.

The next day at school, as the town is stunned by Colin’s death, Needy goes to the school library’s occult section and surmises that Jennifer is a succubus; she is weakest when she is hungry, and must eat flesh in order to sustain her life and appearance. Needy tells Chip about her discoveries and warns him not to attend the dance. He disbelieves her and she subsequently breaks up with him in order to protect him.

Chip goes to the dance, hoping to meet with Needy, but he is intercepted by Jennifer, who seduces him and takes him to an abandoned pool house. Needy arrives there and finds Jennifer feeding on Chip. Needy tries to drown Jennifer and then helps Chip out of the pool. Jennifer, hovering in the air, attacks Needy but is later stabbed by Chip with a pool skimmer. Jennifer escapes while Needy watches her boyfriend die.

Needy goes to Jennifer’s home, enters through the window and attacks her with a boxcutter. Stabbing her in the heart, she kills her. Jennifer’s mother (Carrie Genzel) comes in and finds Needy with the boxcutter on top of her daughter’s body. Soon after, Needy is committed to an asylum. As she was bitten by Jennifer, she has obtained some of Jennifer’s supernatural abilities. Set upon revenge, she escapes the facility and hitchhikes a ride to the band’s hotel; there she finds and butchers them all.


Let’s face it, the on;y reason anyone would even think about watching this is to see Megan Fox. I must say that I fell into that trap, but at the same time I was curious about the film, as well.

I’m sure you’ve all read these reports on hote Megan fox cannot act. Jennifer’s Body was meant to erase that thought and prove she’s a credible actress. Good though, but t didn’t happen. Megan Fox comes off as robotic and desperate. She appears to be trying too hard to get the audience to care for her, as well as drum up some sympathy, but to no avail.

They say this is supposed to be a horror-comedy, but I didn’t find any humor in the film. As a matter of fact, it seemed as if they were trying too hard to be hip, but accomplished nothing but an epic fail.

The horror aspects of this flick do lean toward the plus side, but they don’t deliver on all cylinders. I belive this has to do with the strange mixed genre, but I just felt like they could have done so much better with it, especially since there was plenty to work with.

I didn’t quite get how/why Jennifer became a succubus. I know she explains it and all, but I think I missed something. That’s not a knock against that part of the film, as much as it is something that I missed.

Amanda Seyfried really is the perfect choice as the frumpy best-friend Needy. Some people may say that she was too hot to have this role. I’m nto one of them. While she is attractive in her own Susuan Sarandon wannabe way, but compared to Megan Fox, she did look homely, especially in that weird 80s inspired formal dress.

The story isn’t that bad, but is ruined by the bad acting of the cast. No one saves this film from its downfall into suckage, and that is such a shame because it starts out with such promise.

Critics ripped this thing a new one, and rightfully so. It just isn’t a good film. It tries too hard to be a hip and be a cult hit. It remains to be seen if it earns the latter. I try to find the good in every flick, and this film does have a few redeeming qualities, but in the end, I can’t bring myself to recommend this to anyone, except those that are juts die hard Megan Fox fan. Still, I suppose if you must watch this, you must.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Thank You for Smoking

Posted in Comedy, Independent, Movie Reviews, Spoofs & Satire with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2010 by Mystery Man


Nick Naylor is the Vice President and chief spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies and the protagonist of the film, which follows his career as a talking head for Big Tobacco. Naylor appears in public speaking engagements and on television programs defending the cigarette companies. Each week, he meets with Polly Bailey and Bobby Jay Bliss, lobbyists for the alcohol and firearms industries respectively, and refers to the trio as “the M.O.D. Squad” (“Merchants Of Death”). The antagonist of the film, Senator Finisterre (D-Vermont) (William H. Macy), advocates adding a skull and crossbones label to all cigarette packaging, attempting to ward off the American people from smoking. To deal with this PR nightmare, Naylor attempts to convince big wigs in the film industry to “put the sex back in cigarettes” by making actors smoke tobacco on screen (product placement). Nick also plans to appear before the U.S. Senate to fight the packaging bill. Amidst his plans, Naylor tries to build a better relationship with his son, Joey, and has an affair with Heather Holloway, a seductive reporter with a secret agenda of her own. When Naylor’s world seems to come crashing down, his true talent as a public speaker and strategist emerge.


Thank You for Smoking has been on my list of films that I’ve been putting off and putting off, but because of some weirdness wtith Netflix this week, it slipped in and I was able to watch it.

I’m going to get straight to the point with this. The film is a satirical look at how ridiculously over-the-top people have gotten with trying to curb smoking.

Aaron Eckhart has some of the best lines in the film. I’m not going to quote him, but let’s just say he says what we’re all thinking in regards to the witch hunt against tobacco companies.

Eckart leads a talented cast that includes William H. Macy, Katie Holmes, J.K. Simmons, and cameo appearances by Dennis Miller and Joan Lunden. Eckhart has all the suave and sophistication needed to pull off this role, and headline this flick. I won’t say he hold it together, though, because everyone contributes equally.

The L.A. segment if this film didn’t sit right with me. I know that his son is more or less learning what exactly his dad does for a living, but it still didn’t sit right with me that he took him out there with him. Also, the bribe of the Marlboro Man confused me a bit, but that may have been because I got a bit distracted by something else when he was convincing him.

While I didn’t love this picture, I did enjoy it. Was it worth the wait? Eh…I can’t say that, but it wasn’t a waste of time watching it, either. The subject matter alone should make you want to at least check it out, especially if you’re a smoker or have strong feelings about smoking. If you get the chance, check this out.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars