The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful

 

PLOT:

The Old West meets soft-core sexploitation in this action-packed adventure starring buxom beauty Nicole Sheridan as Annie, a cocktail waitress whose life takes a surprising turn when she learns she’s inherited the Devil’s Ring casino. Targeted by a band of outlaws looking to get their hands on her “property,” Annie receives some unexpected help from beyond the grave when the ghost of Calamity Kate (Belinda Gavin) emerges to wreck shop.

REVIEW:

 I won’t even waste my time giving this thing a full review, because I already wasted 78 minutes that I’ll never get back on this mess.

I was in the mood this morning for something bad, admittedly, but I wasn’t expecting this wannabe porn. Yes, I said wannabe porn, because that is what you get here.

A title like The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful leads one to believe that they are going to see a parody of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, right? Wrong!!!

The only similarity between the two films is the title, though I guess you can say they are set in the west.

Going back to the porn point. This film, I belive was meant to be one of those late-night HBO, Cinemax type of things. It is like the director was trying to leave the porn industry for “bigger and better things”, but couldn’t get away from what he knows best.

Seriously, the numerous sex scenes go on for quite sometime. To top that off, the only thing that distinguishes them from actual porn scenes is not being able to see pubic regions, which are usually quickly covered up by their hands.

I don’t need to tell you that the acting is horrible. I’m pretty sure you seen, or at least heard about how bad these type of films are.

The plot seems like it was some elementary student’s creative writing project that some third-rate Hollywood writer got their hands on and added some sex scenes…and that’s being generous.

It isn’t very often that I come across a movie so bad that I want to turn it off, but this falls into that category, without a question. This thing isn’t as bad as Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, but it is painfully close. If you know what’s good for you, stay away from this. I already made the sacrifice for you. When the highlight of a non porn flick is the sex scenes, then you have some issues. Just forget this thing even exists!

1 1/2 out of 5 stars

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2 Responses to “The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful”

  1. […] this is not some western themed porn that I watched, nor is it another horrific spoof like The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful. Instead, The Naked Spur is just a good, old-fashioned […]

  2. […] I know that I’ve said movies such as Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, MILF, and The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful were the absolute worst films ever, but they are nothing compared to this. I can’t believe I […]

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