Female Vampire

PLOT:

The plot revolves around Countess Irina von Karlstein (played by Lina Romay), a mute woman who needs sex like a vampire needs blood in order to stay alive forever. When new victims are found fatally drained of potency, forensic scientist Dr. Roberts consults his colleague, Dr. Orloff, who confirms that a vampire is responsible. Meanwhile, Irina is confronted by a poet who believes he is destined to become her lover and join her among the immortals.

REVIEW:

It seems as if the vampire craze that gripped the country, if not the world, is over and has thankfully been replaced by the far superior subject, superheroes! I am still a fan of vampires, though, especially female vampires. It seems like every vampire film we see focuses on the male specimens, but what about the other sex? This is where Female Vampire comes in.

What is this about?

To ensure her survival, an undead countess drains the life force from her prey. Meanwhile, she stirs a poet’s passion — and the coroner’s suspicions.

What did I like?

Suck it. We all know that vampires suck blood. That is how they survive. Until True Blood, we were mostly led to believe that they had to bite out necks in order to gain sustenance (they also take from the thigh and wrist on that show) . Now, thanks to this film, we have a new twist on how vampires get blood and, considering the nature of these creatures, it makes sense. Oral sex! Yes, that’s right. Our titular character has goes down on her victim and then when she’s had her fun, she drains them.

Lina Romay. The first person you see in this picture is Lina Romay, wearing only a hood of some sort walking in the woods towards the camera. Nudity aside, you cannot deny that this was a beautiful woman. Also, she doesn’t speak in the picture. When she does interact with someone it is through a series of nods and facial cues. Does that mean she’s a good actress? I wouldn’t go that far, but to pull of a non-speaking role like this does require some talent, other than just walking around with no clothes on all day.

Hood ornament. There are a few scenes where the Countess is riding around the countryside. As she is doing so, we get to look out the window and notice a hood ornament (remember those?) in the shape of a bat, I believe. Not just any bat, though. This one has wings that actually flap as the car moves. That isn’t a big thing, nor does it really have anything to do with the film, but it did catch my attention.

What didn’t I like?

Skin flick. As a red-blooded, straight male, I would be lying if I said that I was not interested in seeing an attractive woman walk around for nearly 2 hours giving head to both men and women. If that was all this was, then we’d have a porn film, so there is (allegedly) a plot somewhere in here which I will touch on next. The scenes in which Romay does her vampire thing seem to get longer and longer as the film goes on, until they just seem like filler. I almost turned this off because it had literally turned into a skin flick, and that isn’t what I signed up for when I decided to watch.

Plot? You know that plot that I just mentioned? Well, there really isn’t one. This is all about Romay and her insatiable appetite. We get hints at plot, such as the coroner who wants to prove the existence of vampires, the poet who is madly in love with (this story line seems to get the most airtime), and the reporter who wants to interview her about her family. None of these go anywhere, though, leaving one to wonder, why even bother?

Silence. I think I am one of the few people around today who genuinely enjoys silent film, and not in an ironic, hipster way, but as entertainment. Because of this, the main character’s inability to speak, as well as the sparse dialogue (which is in French, btw) in the film, didn’t bother me in the least. However, I am curious as to why she can’t speak. Is that some kind of vampire thing in this “world”? Did she have some kind of accident? Vampires aren’t known for having any imperfections, so this is an odd thing.

Final verdict on Female Vampire. Well, first off, it is obviously a product of its time. Every female vampire film that I’ve seen, excluding the Underworld franchise has been from the 70s and is just shy of being porn. This one, though, has to be near the bottom of the barrel, because the story and plot are there, but as soon as it gets going, cut to an oral sex scene. Do I recommend this? No, it is best that you not waste your time. I already wasted mine.

2 out of 5 stars

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One Response to “Female Vampire”

  1. […] I have seen, the only time this has varied was in a movie where they fed on energy and recently in Female Vampire where the titular character got her sustenance through oral sex. I’m always up for a new […]

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