Archive for January, 2018

Chappie

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

In the near future, crime is patrolled by an oppressive mechanized police force. But now, the people are fighting back. When one police droid, Chappie, is stolen and given new programming, he becomes the first robot with the ability to think and feel for himself. As powerful, destructive forces start to see Chappie as a danger to mankind and order, they will stop at nothing to maintain the status quo and ensure that Chappie is the last of his kind.

What people are saying:

Chappie boasts more of the big ideas and visual panache that director Neill Blomkamp has become known for — and, sadly, more of the narrative shortcomings” 3 stars

“It is rare that I find a movie so bad that I turn it off in the first 20 minutes, but this movie had no redeeming qualities at all. The acting was terrible. Middle school students could’ve written a more interesting plot line. There are just too many things wrong with this movie in just the first 20 minutes to even list them here. I don’t normally write reviews like this but this movie was so bad, it’s insulting that they’d expect consumers to pay for this.” 1 star

“There’s material in Chappie for a worthwhile motion picture but too little is explored by Blomkamp to make this worth a trip to a theater.” 3 stars

District 9 redux. This movie could have been about 1/3 shorter, and without all of the faux, hip-hop, “Souse Offrika” gangsta stuff, mon. Plot line was just fair. Hugh Jackman was really slumming and phoning it in during this movie, as was Sigourney Weaver. Dev Patel was just okay. No more Neill Blomkamp movies until he grows up.” 2 stars

“Neill Blomkamp always does a good job blending sci-fi elements with social commentary in all of the films he has made so far. I feel that Chappie does this well for the most part. I enjoyed the action scenes in this movie and for the most part, had a good time with it. That being said, it is definitely the weakest of Blomkamp’s entries so far. It lacks focus at times and has some ridiculous plot elements. I also thought the inclusion of Die Antwoord in this movie was completely uncalled for and their performances did not come off as authentic. Their delivery of dialogue came off as a bit silly at times, but to be fair, this is probably why they don’t typically act in movies. I still think this is ultimately a fun, fast-paced, and creative movie that definitely has some big ideas. I feel it had the potential to be a great one, but instead, it is a good movie that I would still say is very underrated.” 3 1/2 stars

Sing

Posted in Animation, Family, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

In a city of humanoid animals, a hustling theater impresario’s attempt to save his theater with a singing competition becomes grander than he anticipates even as its finalists’ find that their lives will never be the same.

What people are saying:

Sing delivers colorfully animated, cheerfully undemanding entertainment with a solid voice cast and a warm-hearted – albeit familiar – storyline that lives up to its title.” 3 1/2 stars

“The plot may be shopworn, with not much aimed at adults, but the film’s message that collaboration can reap greater rewards than competition is appropriate for all ages.” 5 stars

“Totally blown away. I was not expecting much, but was surprised by how well this movie was done. Animation: some of the best. Good use of lighting, shadow, fur effects. The body language and facial expressions totally fit. This could have been a mediocre movie, but you can tell they put lots of work into this film. Engrossing. Not a film you could read a newspaper while getting the gist of it, like some films. There are many movies I can like, yet never care to watch again; but, this one I could watch again. I would recommend you see this at least once.” 5 stars

“What an absolutely charming film! I was surprised to find some of the better known names who lent their voices to these characters….would never have guessed that Buster Moon was Matt McConaughey, for example – his normal Texas twang was nowhere to be found, and that was a charming surprise! But the animation was wonderful and I was totally engaged from beginning to end. Not for kids only!” 4 stars

“It’s cold outside, it’s Sunday night, we’ve got popcorn, me and my two boys are curled up on the sofa. As film nerd Dad it basically doesn’t get any better than this, and it definitely doesn’t when you’ve got a real gem of a film like this one. The songs are great, the gags are good and the story is moving with some wonderful characters. None of the actors feel like their phoning it in with the voice work, hell this is probably McConaughey’s best work since ‘True Detective’. This really is great, had both of my boys up on their feet dancing and singing along by the end and one of them is currently in a plaster cast! Had me with a huge grin on my face. Bravo, Garth Jennings.” 4 stars

Trailer Thurday 1/25

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on January 25, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

The Oscar nominations were released this week and many fans are outraged over the omission/snub of one of last year’s big hits. I haven’t seen this yet, but i do want to share the trailer for The LEGO Batman Movie

Trailer Thursday 1/18

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on January 18, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

Down here in Louisiana, we are currently experiencing the effects of a winter storm…quite tame by storm standards, but us southerners aren’t prepared for such things, even if the same thing happened a few years back. *SIGH*

This week’s trailer is sure to heat things up, once you see the gorgeous Bo Derek in this trailer for 10

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

The pop culture phenomenon SHARKNADO blows into town this summer… and this time, the shark-infested storms pick up wind as the world braces for the inevitable – a global shark takeover. Will our chainsaw-wielding hero Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) and partner in crime April Wexler (Tara Reid) save the world from this jaw snapping-nado…again?

What people are saying:

“The basic premise has remained resolutely the same: scenes of C-grade actors getting chomped to bits by D-grade CGI sharks mixed together with enough jokey references to other, generally better movies to allow film buffs to distract themselves.” 1 1/2 stars

“Somehow, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming pulls the franchise back from the brink and returns it to what it’s supposed to be: fun to watch.” 4 stars

“Long time Sharknado fan. Give to Ian for committing to his character. But each one gets worse than the last. Robot April is beyond silly, right wing leaning comments, the utter lack of chemistry between the family members, and cringe worthy one liners. One saving grace are the landmarks becoming weapons. At least that was well done. Loved Sharknado 1-2. Somebody should’ve suggested stopping after Sharknado 3-4.” 1 1/2 stars

“A welcome surprise after the previous 2; It manages to be much better paced, and, similarly to the second one, it embraces total constant absurdity and manages to be one of the more entertaining of the series.” 3 stars

“This movie continues further into be so horrible, ridiculous, and stupid that is entertaining, enjoyable, creative, and glorious. Not the best, but great. Sharknado was originally a cheesy shark movie with a tornado, but this franchise has gone berserk. All hell breaks lose in this movie, but I love how this ends and cant wait for Sharknado 6, this movie honestly seems like a set up for sharknado the final chapter or something. This movie was hilarious and great with all it’s bad movie elements, but it is obvious they acknowledge that and go for it. I still like the story somewhat and the characters even though it is mostly ridiculous.” 3 stars

Uncle Buck

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

In this cheerful, lightweight comedy, excruciatingly clumsy, disorganized, and messy Uncle Buck Russell (John Candy) becomes the screens most unlikely babysitter since Clifton Webb in Sitting Pretty. While their parents are away, eight-year old Miles (Macaulay Culkin), six-year old Maizy (Gaby Hoffman) and their teen-aged sister, Tia (Jean Kelly) are left in the care of Buck. Surprisingly, the very inept Uncle Buck entertains the younger children who come to love him and earns the respect of Tia when he rescues her from her worthless boyfriend. However, in doing so, Buck nearly loses his long-time girlfriend Chanice (Amy Madigan).

What people are saying:

“…an agreeable comedy that benefits substantially from Hughes’ undeniable gift for seamlessly blending laughs with drama.” 3 1/2 stars

“This is a straight foreword John Candy 80’s comedy. If you are a fan of Candy and his silly antics you will love this movie. The acting is fantastic. The story is not entirely believable but where it strays off that road it is for the sake of laughs. ‘Uncle Buck’ is a touching comedy/drama speckled with laugh-out-loud scenes and covered in tongue-in-cheek humor about parenting. If you are looking for a lighthearted feel good comedy that is mostly wholesome check this out” 4 stars

“It’s a goofy movie, but also extraordinarily sly, unafraid to permit generous screentime to bizarre jokes and situations of slack guardian supervision.” 4 stars

“As only John Candy could, this movie takes you from laughing out loud to crying through the poignant scene. The screenwrite then brings you back from the abyss with a final round of robust laughter. I can’t imagine anyone watching this movie without immediately looking up every movie John Candy ever performed in. He was truly a master!” 5 stars

“Irresponsible, cigar smoking, gambling black sheep uncle Buck is his brother’s last resort to look after his teenage daughter and two younger children. Buck starts out not being liked but by the end he’s a stand up guy. This comedy isn’t very interesting and is a result of a thin storyline and thin screenplay. The writer’s had a good idea but that’s about it.” 1 star

Trailer Thursday 1/11

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on January 11, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

This week’s trailer is something a little different. I came across this movie poster before the holidays and was intrigued. The movie doesn’t look that interesting to me, save for the scantily clad women, but maybe some of you will have an appreciation for it

The Canyons

Posted in Drama, Movie Reviews, Thrillers/Mystery with tags , , , , , , on January 4, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

While calculating young movie producer Christian makes films to keep his trust fund intact, his actress girlfriend, Tara, hides an affair. But a chance meeting thrusts them into a violent, sexually charged tour through the dark side of human nature.

What people are saying:

“Film noir, absolutely, although in mix of styles that mainly go back to the eighties Michael Mann movies. I don’t understand why anyone would be complaining about the acting, it’s minimal with a dash of natural. The awkward conversations could have done with a slower pace. S*x is the currency of power and trust is the currency of love of what people believe it is. That’s as far as this film goes thematically, it’s neither superficial nor deeply layered. The film starts and ends with shots of derelict abandoned places, like cinema theaters. The world as a rotten stage, and people playing sad parts. And still, this is a chill film, for when you don’t need to remember what you were watching the night before. ” 3 stars

“A tale of young, vapid, sexually insatiable Z-listers in Hollywood had the credentials to be deliciously awful fun but almost every time something tawdry (and potentially interesting) is about to happen, the film pulls its punches and leaves the action.” 3 stars

“This film was doomed from the start when they cast James Deen in the lead part as some kind of cool tough guy when he comes across as a wimp and a geek. He looks a lot like Anthony Weiner former politician from New York. Face the facts the only reason anyone rented this film is because they were told they would see Lohan nude. The most shocking thing about this film is that Paul Schrader directed it, why? This is really a story about nothing!” 1 star

“A perfect depiction of the underbelly of the entertainment industry & Hollywood. Actors doing anything for work, people saying they’ll do something when they never actually do…boring, sad, disturbing, and dull are the elements The Canyons combines perfectly into a raw and deeply meaningful film. Also, the best performance Lindsay Lohan has ever had. She’s better in this than in The Parent Trap, I’m not kidding.” 5 stars

“This fecal lump came & went out of circulation quickly and quietly, like a phart in an elevator. “James Deen” is cast strictly for “let’s get an Adult-film dude to give us some street cred” and he does the same eyebrow-lift & smirk schtick that got him a following among emotionally stunted hairy-palm dudes, which he learned at the Sasha Grey Academy of Fake Cool, and Lohan looks one OD away from the pearly gates. And that’s the good news. The script and acting are stillborn on the operating table. Schraeder’s got a track record that can afford him some mistakes, but this one will forever loom the largest and fetid on his resume’.” 1 star

Trailer Thursday 1/4

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on January 4, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

Happy New Year, everyone!

For this week’s trailer, I thought I’d with a true classic. Perhaps you’ve heard of a little film know as Casablanca?

Yoga Hosers

Posted in Comedy, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

15-year-olds Colleen Colleen are on their smartphones constantly, sing in a small band and take yoga classes. They will do just about anything to receive an invitation to a senior party. But when they discover the leader of a Nazi splinter group has been raising an army of monsters beneath the store where they work, they team up with a legendary man-hunter to stop the world-threatening uprising.

What people are saying:

“Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose, Yoga Hosers represents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith’s once-promising career.” 1 1/2 stars

“(Kevin) Smith seems to have soured to the idea of making films for anyone outside his circle of fans, podcast co-hosts, and family members. Yoga Hosers, the latest feature-length podcast digression from Smith, proves how small that circle really is.” 2 stars

“If you are not familiar with Kevin Smith’s podcasts; Smodcast and Hollywood Babble-on then, this movie will probably have you scratching your head and wondering what the hell Kevin was thinking when he made it. If you do listen to his podcasts, especially Hollywood Babble-on, then you’re in on the joke. Lots of inside jokes and Ralph Garmin manages to work in all his best impressions which might be the best work Al Pacino has done in a while. Hoo Ahh. Kevin Smith plays the Bratzis which could only exist because of recreational drug use and it’s just plain silly but still O.K. Then there is Johnny Depp. The best part of his character is keeping up with his mole count and catching some of his Jack Sparrow homage. That’s the best part of the movie is catching the inside jokes, references to podcasts, and other Kevin Smith films. Lots of Canadian jokes but nothing mean spirited and the closing version of “Oh Canada” rocks” 5 stars

“I am a huge Kevin Smith fan and I also generally enjoy stupid humor. That said, this was an hour and a half of my life I can never get back. I am not writing a review to slam Kevin Smith, I really love him and respect his work, I am writing it as a warning to others not to waste their time, literally. It didn’t have the feel of Smith’s work, it appeared to only be a vehicle to get his and Depp’s daughter into the industry. I don’t see either one of them getting any work from this, and I feel like it was an insult to Smith, even though it’s his film. If you’re like me and think, hey, it can’t be as bad as everyone says…think again, please. ” 1 star

“This movie, in the sense of being a serious movie, is not. You look at it like that and you’re going to have a bad time eh. You have to watch it like you would watch a B horror film that is meant to be a B horror film, like Jack Frost or Poultrygeist. You can’t lump this film in with Clerks or Chasing Amy, it’s not aboot that Kevin Smith. This film goes with Tusk, it’s aboot letting go of being serious and making something fun. If you like Doom Generation, Knights of Badassdom, Zombeavers and the like, you will love this film.” 5 stars

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his luck Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill fortune blowing even more strongly when a crew of deadly ghost pirates led by an old rival, the terrifying Captain Salazar, escape from the Devil’s Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea…including him. His only hope of survival lies in finding the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that gives its possessor total control of the seas.

What people are saying:

“Dead Men Tell No Tales isn’t as good as the first three films, but it’s better than the fourth film…it has mostly good performances, and a couple of great ones. It has fantastic visual effects, lots of humor that works, a lighthearted feel and sense of fun, and many terrific action set pieces to make your eyeballs pop out.” 4 stars

“Is this really only the fifth entry in the Pirates film franchise? It feels like the 50th. Except for Javier Bardem, who brings a dollop of fresh mischief to this paycheck party, Dead Men has all the flavor of rotting leftovers.” 1 star

“Dead Men Tell No Tales found its way back to the original Pirates movie, but lacked anything fresh. Jack was back (mostly), but the movie’s two new protagonists (Carina and Henry) feel like the B-team compared to Will and Elizabeth. The plot and finale also struggled to live up to the quality of the original’s. A fun movie that is better than Pirates 3 and 4 for sure.” 4 stars

“I’m a fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. But even with that bias, I have to admit this is a pretty mediocre movie. There’s no plot, really: the whole movie is basically a couple of groups of people chasing each other to get to the Trident of Poseidon first, which will allow its possessor to rule the seas. Since a slow chase on the oceans is not enough to fill 2+ hours, we get a bunch of throwaway exposition on irrelevant backstory stuff related to bad blood between Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) and Jack Sparrow. There’s not much humor, no real plot twists or surprises, and certainly no creativity or depth to the dialogue. There are some large-scale fights/battles, but since it’s CGI, it’s all rather sterile and uninvolving. Bardem and Depp do make the most of their scenes, but that’s about it. Let’s hope the next installment brings more of the fun and inventive storytelling that made earlier POTC films so much fun.” 3 stars

“What else can be said about the latest movie in the long in the tooth Pirates of the Caribbean movie series. In this installment: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Feminist Diaries, a never before mentioned undead pirate is trying to kill Johnny Depp (in his return to Captain Jack to pay his alimony) . Jack needs to find a never before mentioned artifact to save himself. Luckily he encounters a belligerent sharped tongue shrew of a woman, who woman-splains for two hours. Along the way we meet yet another of Jack’s relatives , and get cameos and supporting roles from various cast members. Jack Bardem as Jack new nemesis was quite good. The new couple was trash. The effects, as always were spectacular. The undead shark scene was something the Sci-Fi channel wishes it could do during shark week. Unfortunately the movie is weighed down by more ‘disney diversity’. As usual all the men are dumb, and the women are smart. All the men (almost) are bad, the women are good. The men are weak, the women strong. Men are coward, women brave. Plus the movie is far two violent for younger kids. Summer trash.” 2 stars

La La Land

Posted in Movie Reviews, Musicals with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Written and directed by Academy Award nominee Damien Chazelle, LA LA LAND tells the story of Mia [Emma Stone], an aspiring actress, and Sebastian [Ryan Gosling], a dedicated jazz musician, who are struggling to make ends meet in a city known for crushing hopes and breaking hearts. Set in modern day Los Angeles, this original musical about everyday life explores the joy and pain of pursuing your dreams.

What people are saying:

“La La Land breathes new life into a bygone genre with thrillingly assured direction, powerful performances, and an irresistible excess of heart” 5 stars

“If Gene Kelly, Woody Allen and Steve Martin had a chance to collaborate, the result might be La La Land, the remarkable new movie by precocious young writer/director Damien Chazelle.” 4 stars

“I loved, loved, loved this movie! At first I wasn’t sure but it definitely had me hooked by the end. Ryan and Emma are so good together and I had goose bumps and tears by the end. I don’t love musicals with never ending song and dance numbers but this wasn’t that way at all. It was magical, fun, endearing, sad, happy, true to life and fantastical, and yes, it does provide those fluttery, over-whelming feelings of new love.” 5 stars

“I cannot understand the widespread appeal of this film. Neither protagonist makes the subtle nuanced decisions of adult life; the mid-way compromises of relationship-making. The choreography is nothing on the scale of the musicals of old. These are two great actors undercut by an underdeveloped script and serving the poorly executed concept of reviving the musical genre.” 2 stars

“Most of my reviews bring up something about clichés, as Hollywood seems to be badly plagued by them. The clichés in this film are different, however. They are more of nostalgic clichés, the ones that give you that fluttery feeling in your stomach, help you escape, and help you feel. And, oh my, do they make this movie beautiful! The best way to describe “La La Land” is that it is a love song. It is a love song to the ‘dying’ art of classical jazz music. It is a love song to the touching and heartfelt boy-meets-girl romance stories. It is a love song to the revolutionary spectacles of musical films that brought in the new age of cinema. It is a love song to the struggling artists that are stuck between dreams and reality. “La La Land” is gorgeous, fun, romantic, tragic, and sweet, all in one. Bravo!” 5 stars