Archive for the Horror Category

The Babysitter

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

The Babysitter, directed by McG, follows Cole (Judah Lewis), who is madly in love with his babysitter Bee (Samara Weaving). She’s cool and awesome in all the ways Cole is not. One evening while Bee is babysitting, Cole witnesses the unthinkable. Now he must survive a night full of first kisses, first broken hearts, and first encounters with homicidal maniacs (played by Bella Thorne, Andrew Bachelor, Robbie Amell, and Hana Mae Lee).

What people are saying:

“There are a few good pop-culture gags here, but it is the strong central performances of [Samara] Weaving as the hottie and Lewis as the nerd that elevate this to more than just an exercise in ironic B movie-making.” 3 1/2 stars

“Perhaps the most infuriating element of The Babysitter is that it feels like a horror movie made by someone who doesn’t necessarily like horror movies, and is taking this odd opportunity to sort of laugh at the genre.” 3 stars

The Babysitter has much to be desired from a screenplay perspective, with the lead child actor providing a serviceable performance. The plot is a bit choppy, but the way the film gets its theme right allows it to work. It sits better as a thriller rather than a horror, but there’s enough gore to make you think otherwise. There are an excessive number of experimental techniques used, (They use the ‘Hugo Stiglitz’ freeze-frame with the guitar riff about 5 times in underwhelming moments), but it keeps the experience refreshing. It’s on the better side of Netflix output.” 3 1/2 stars

“This movie plays like a teenage wish-fulfillment fantasy which can’t decide whether to be funny or scary, and fails to be either. It tries to be ironic about the genre, but only manages to be cliche. The Actors actually do a good job with a severely lacking script.” 1 1/2 stars

“When the film works, it’s a lot of fun, there’s a particular scene where Robbie Amell’s character tries to help the main kid face his bully literally seconds after Robbie tried to kill him and it’s kind of amazing. It’s the kind of joke that really works and if all the jokes had been like that we’d have something here. The film can be enjoyable, everything from the 30-minute mark onward isn’t that bad and I will admit that I laughed at a fair few moments but the films inability to remain consistent and it’s bizarre visual choices just make it a confusing watch in the end. Not a bad watch because there’s still something here that’s fun, but it’s confused and needed a lot more work.” 3 stars

Yoga Hosers

Posted in Comedy, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

15-year-olds Colleen Colleen are on their smartphones constantly, sing in a small band and take yoga classes. They will do just about anything to receive an invitation to a senior party. But when they discover the leader of a Nazi splinter group has been raising an army of monsters beneath the store where they work, they team up with a legendary man-hunter to stop the world-threatening uprising.

What people are saying:

“Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose, Yoga Hosers represents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith’s once-promising career.” 1 1/2 stars

“(Kevin) Smith seems to have soured to the idea of making films for anyone outside his circle of fans, podcast co-hosts, and family members. Yoga Hosers, the latest feature-length podcast digression from Smith, proves how small that circle really is.” 2 stars

“If you are not familiar with Kevin Smith’s podcasts; Smodcast and Hollywood Babble-on then, this movie will probably have you scratching your head and wondering what the hell Kevin was thinking when he made it. If you do listen to his podcasts, especially Hollywood Babble-on, then you’re in on the joke. Lots of inside jokes and Ralph Garmin manages to work in all his best impressions which might be the best work Al Pacino has done in a while. Hoo Ahh. Kevin Smith plays the Bratzis which could only exist because of recreational drug use and it’s just plain silly but still O.K. Then there is Johnny Depp. The best part of his character is keeping up with his mole count and catching some of his Jack Sparrow homage. That’s the best part of the movie is catching the inside jokes, references to podcasts, and other Kevin Smith films. Lots of Canadian jokes but nothing mean spirited and the closing version of “Oh Canada” rocks” 5 stars

“I am a huge Kevin Smith fan and I also generally enjoy stupid humor. That said, this was an hour and a half of my life I can never get back. I am not writing a review to slam Kevin Smith, I really love him and respect his work, I am writing it as a warning to others not to waste their time, literally. It didn’t have the feel of Smith’s work, it appeared to only be a vehicle to get his and Depp’s daughter into the industry. I don’t see either one of them getting any work from this, and I feel like it was an insult to Smith, even though it’s his film. If you’re like me and think, hey, it can’t be as bad as everyone says…think again, please. ” 1 star

“This movie, in the sense of being a serious movie, is not. You look at it like that and you’re going to have a bad time eh. You have to watch it like you would watch a B horror film that is meant to be a B horror film, like Jack Frost or Poultrygeist. You can’t lump this film in with Clerks or Chasing Amy, it’s not aboot that Kevin Smith. This film goes with Tusk, it’s aboot letting go of being serious and making something fun. If you like Doom Generation, Knights of Badassdom, Zombeavers and the like, you will love this film.” 5 stars

Get Out

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Now that Chris and his girlfriend, Rose, have reached the meet-the-parents milestone of dating, she invites him for a weekend getaway upstate with Missy and Dean. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he could have never imagined.

What people are saying:

“Funny, scary, and thought-provoking, Get Out seamlessly weaves its trenchant social critiques into a brilliantly effective and entertaining horror/comedy thrill ride.” 4 stars

“What makes Get Out more than just a slam-bang scarefest is that, in its own darkly satiric way, it is also a movie about racial paranoia that captures the zeitgeist in ways that many more “prestigious” movies don’t.” 5 stars

“I had high hopes and high expectations for this film, knowing little about it prior to watching. Quick review: Overhyped Not a horror, lacks tension building and atmosphere and falls flat Not a thriller, just weird. Not a comedy, one dude playing a stereotype with 7 minutes of screen time does not make this a comedy. Acting is decent Early attempts at effecting the audience with the score showed promise but failed to deliver. Story failed to shock/suprise. (People should have been able to see the story coming) Too heavy handed, felt like one of those films in Jr High that tried to be extra cool while telling you that underaged drinking is back mmmmkaay. Summary: It’s a pretentious and condescending movie that failed more often than it succeeded and the fact that people were blind to it because of its social cause is disheartening. If people (over)like it and give it extra stars because of who made it and his world view, they are doing a disservice to the film community, the audience, the actors and producers. Encourage films to be great on their own and take the “everyone gets a trophy for trying” gloves off.” 1 star

“This was a superbly executed horror film. The chilling moments were chilling. The laughable moments were intentional, because typically when you’re laughing during a horror film, we all know you are not laughing with, but at the film. The acting was flawless: from Daniel Kaluuya to Catherine Keener, the actors brought so many levels to their performances. I was especially impressed with Keener and Bradley Whitford’s ability to go from warm, parental figures to subtly menacing to their ultimate terrifying performance.  The fact that they were able to include the old hypnosis trope, and make it fresh and horrifying in 2017, was worthy of applause in and of itself. I am so impressed with Jordan Peele and his first foray into horror. He managed to make a suspenseful horror film that also made you think. I applaud Mr. Peele, the cast, and crew. Best film I’ve seen in quite some time!” 5 stars

Get Out is surprisingly eloquent when it comes to criticizing the topic of modern racial tension, but made it a bit funny, too. Jordan Peele is able to balance the horror elements and his usual comedic tone quite well. As it progresses, the premise seems more ridiculousness, but the reality of the situation is grounded and effective. And much like the main character, you find the rest of the cast predictably sketchy, but you believe the slight of terror they give off. It’s pretty entertaining and while we may never experience this, there’s probably something in the film that makes us think about the things we deal with surrounding us.” 5 stars

Teeth

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on October 28, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

What people are saying:

“Smart, original, and horrifically funny, Teeth puts a fresh feminist spin on horror movie tropes” 4 stars

“Teeth is both different enough from the usual teen trash to earn itself distinction and bold enough to go where other horrors wouldn’t dare venture.” 3 stars

“I must begin by saying that if male frontal nudity bothers you… especially when it comes into contact with toothed female parts… then just skip this movie altogether. If you can handle those kind of visuals, have a twisted taste for gore, or if you’re recently a woman scorned this movie is highly entertaining! Teeth may truly be for those who enjoy horror spoofs. I think this would fit nicely into those films aired on USA Up All Night during the 80s-90s… but generally better because the quality is fantastic and the acting is great — something similar movies lack. The humor throughout the movie was very dark and campy, which I consider to be a good thing and one reason I rated the movie so highly. Last but not least, for all you guys out there that watch scary movies so your girl will grab onto you for dear life, avoid this movie at all costs. ” 4 stars

“I watched this movie with my then-boyfriend, thinking we’d have a fun night with a corky dark comedy. I say “then-boyfriend” because we aren’t together anymore. I’m not saying that this movie ended our relationship, I’m just saying is that for a stretch of time we were dating, then one day we watched this movie, and now we’re not dating. Whether or not this movie was the direct cause of our not dating anymore, I’m not sure. One thing is certain though, we did not have sex afterward.” 1 star

“A film about a vagina with teeth, what’s there not to enjoy? A lot actually. This was a terrible film in all aspects. I’ve never been a horror type of fan although ironically my favourite film is alfred hitchcock’s psycho but seriously, who came up with this idea? It’s just a really weird film that I’ve wanted to see for a while due to some critics giving it decent reviews.. However I don’t get why at all. The acting, the story, the everything is terrible.” 1/2 star

Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde

Posted in Classics, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on October 26, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

An African-American scientist develops a formula to regenerate dying liver cells, but it has the unfortunate after-effect of turning him into an albino vampire with a mania for killing prostitutes. A tough police lieutenant investigating the murders discovers the existence of the dual-personality killer, and determines to bring him in.

What people are saying:

“Blaxploitation classic tells the story of Dr. Henry Pryde (Bernie Casey) who is working tirelessly to find a cure for liver disease. He develops a serum that shows potential but, he can’t perfect it without human experimentation. After a failed test on a dying woman, Henry decides to test the serum on himself. The result transforms the valiant doctor into a super strong, violent tempered… white man. Directed by Blacula‘s William Crain, this 70s horror treats it’s story with respect despite how silly it is and Crain, as with Blacula, gets good performances out of his cast that also includes Rosalind Cash (The Omega Man) and Marie O’Henry as Pryde’s love interest, a local hooker named Linda. Sadly, Larry LeBron’s script from an idea by Lawrence Woolner doesn’t nearly make as much use of the classic story it’s based on as did Blacula, nor is Crain able to give this film the Gothic flavor and style he did with that film. It’s pretty much a generic monster movie with Mr. Hyde stalking and killing Linda’s fellow hookers and their pimps and the police trying to find and stop the killer. The obvious blaxploitation elements are present but, seem a bit forced here as opposed to Blacula where they were just part of the characters and their life at that point in time. Still the film does have that 70s nostalgia and is worth a look for those interested in the blaxploitation era of filmmaking. Also noteworthy as, the Mr. Hyde make-up effects on Bernie Casey are by the legendary Stan Winston.” 2 1/2 stars

“Intriguing and entertaining, the film suggests — visually and thematically, if not in so many words — that being white causes a person to become aggressive, brutal and evil, and that the very state of whiteness is a state of corruption.” 3 1/2 stars

“The black Dr. Henry Pride (Bernie Casey) takes a formula that turns him into an evil white man. Here’s another blaxploitation film but this one here is actually pretty good thanks in large part to the very good performance by Casey. The film is over the top in every way possible from the non-stop Kung Fu fighting to the wonderfully funny pimp. The first scene where the evil white guy is about to get jumped by three hoods is priceless.”1 1/2 star

“We watched this on YouTube and found ourselves to be compelled by this ‘so bad it’s good’ 70s flick. Some of the acting in this film is near awful, LOL. (You will recognize the main character.) However, the storyline makes up for it. In addition, it has a funky soundtrack and some moments that are funny if you pay attention to all the little nuances and subtleties.” 3 1/2 stars

“Just so people realize, this film’s title is misspelled. Dr. Black & Mr. Hyde has a great trailer, but the movie itself could’ve been better. VERY strange to see Stan Winston, Johnny Pate, and Tak Fujimoto all worked on this movie, however. Crazy as hell. Fun for blaxploitation B-movie weirdness, and definitely better than Blackenstein. But it’s no Blacula.” 2 1/2 stars

The Beast Must Die

Posted in Classics, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on October 24, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

In this little horror film, a wealthy sportsman (Calvin Lockhart) invites a house full of guests to a big-game hunt that he’s devised. He’s sure that one of the guests is a werewolf, and he intends to stalk it, find it, and kill it. As a film viewer, you are alerted at the outset that a mystery awaits and that clues will be unveiled that can point to the identity of the werewolf. In fact, near the conclusion, the film has inserted a 30-second interlude during which you must decide, once and for all, who the hunted beast is. This film is based upon a story by James Blish titled There Shall Be No Darkness.

What people are saying:

“The non-anthology output of Amicus Productions tended to be hit-and-miss, but The Beast Must Die is an interesting if lightweight horror-mystery hybrid from the studio.” 3 stars

“The Beast Must Die is worth a look, as long as you enjoy unintentionally campy kitsch from the swinging 70s and werewolf myths.” 3 stars

“Unbelievably nonsensical, this film has two things (only two) going for it: a cast that’s game, and the “Werewolf Break,” an absurd concept that is, somehow, kind of cool.” 2 stars

“this film is just fantastic. it’s about five genres within one – a blaxploitation, an exploitation, a lowbudget, made for television-looking, british, mystery, werewolf movie. that itself is quite the feat. and on top of it all, it has a werewolf break. perhaps the most genius idea in the history of cinema, they tell you at the beginning that, right before the end of the film, they will pause everything so that you, the audience, can spend thirty seconds finalizing your guess as to who the werewolf is. this is pure camp fun. watch this with friends and you are guaranteed a great time.” 4 1/2 stars

“Undemanding and completely silly fun where the audience is asked towards the end to guess the identity of the werewolf. A hopeless lead with an equally hopeless gun aim is determined to find out which of his guests are a furry killer. Dig that score too, no atmospheric chills here, the emphasis is on funky percussion! Big dumb fun.” 2 1/2 stars

An American Werewolf in London

Posted in Classics, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on September 13, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

After surviving a vicious werewolf attack that left his friend dead, an American backpacker in London becomes a murderous werewolf himself. Prowling the streets of London, he learns that his living-dead victims will wander in limbo until he’s dead.

What people are saying:

“…curious but oddly endearing mixture of horror film and spoof, of comedy and shock, with everything grist to its mill including tourist Britain and the wedding of Prince Charles. The special effects are notable and signalled new developments in this field” 4 stars

“Not just gory but actually frightening, not just funny but clever, ‘American Werewolf…’ has its flaws, but these are outweighed by the film’s many, mighty strengths.” 4 stars

“Once the audience realizes that the movie is not meant to be taken seriously it has already reached the halfway point of the film. Up until this point, it is difficult to connect with the two lead characters because of their frustratingly idiotic decisions and dialogue. However, once the film finally reveals itself as a form of satire, the previously dumbfounding scenes, as well as the the rest of the film, can be seen as intentional and oddly charming. All the parts of good black comedy are there, along with some stellar practical effects and designs that still hold up today. However, the film struggles with delivery and seems almost unfinished.” 3 stars

“I’m disappointed after watching this movie. I thought it was going to be way better. Way to many dreams about the dead brother, and Wolf Nazis. Also for some reason a nurse takes some one who clearly is mental home with her, and fell in love with him. Everyone is also a jerk in this movie, and all children can say is “No.” The first 15 minutes of this film was epic though. Also it was entertaining, and good I’m just disappointed.” 3 stars

“If it weren’t rated R, this movie would be worthy of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Nearly everyone in here is either unlikable, a moron, or both. The special effects were awful (from the blood, to the make-up, to the Halloween store bought masks/costumes), and people didn’t behave in believable ways. Ex: “We are 2 American tourists, back-backing in a strange country, at night, in the cold. Let’s leave the pub, and hike off in the middle of the night. And let’s ignore the warnings of everyone in the pub, and hike though the middle of the moors, instead of sticking to the road”. Or “This man is not only a patient of mine whom I know virtually nothing about, but is also apparently very delusional. I think that I’ll take him out of the hospital (against doctors’ orders) for a stroll, tell him that I live alone, then take him up to my apartment and have a one-night stand with him” Or “The ghost of my dead friend who was killed by a monster, warned me that unless I kill myself, I’ll turn into a werewolf and kill people. his warning came true, but I still won’t kill myself, no matter how many people I kill”. Teen Wolf was better than this. ” 2 stars

Cooties

Posted in Horror, Independent, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

When a cafeteria food virus turns elementary school children into killer zombies, a group of misfit teachers must band together to escape the playground carnage. The film stars Elijah Wood (The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings), Rainn Wilson (“The Office”), and Alison Pill (“The Newsroom”) as teachers who fight to survive the mayhem while hilariously bickering in an uncomfortable love triangle on the worst Monday of their lives.

What people are saying:

“Just stupid! Elijah Wood must be hard-up for work to take this role. 10 year old kids (4th grade) using awful language. Gore abounds and the brief attempts at humor (it’s billed as a comedy) are so lame! I found no “sanving graces” in this film. The rental company (who do not allow their name to be used in “reviews”) said their “best guess” for my rating would be 3.2 stars. Not even close!” 1 star

“I had a lot of fun watching this movie. The jokes were funny, the scares were scary, and the gore was gory. Pretty much what it says on the tin, an altogether satisfying film.” 4 stars

“Fun premise, but dumbed-down script with very few laughs. I *hope* they were going for the look and feel of a 1980’s B-movie. What I liked were the zombie kids – pretty disturbing as a concept and the young actors are pretty creepy as a swarm of zombies. But the story of survival just keeps looping around on itself as the teachers try and find a way out and the ending is not satisfying at all….it just ends. Save for the presence of some good comedic character actors, this just felt rushed and cheap.” 2 stars

“As it stands cooties is neither scary nor funny. It’s a bad zombie movie as well with being a bad horror comedy. The movie has a good cast with a few somewhat entertaining performances, but the script is awful and the story goes nowhere. The Gore is over-the-top fake looking and ridiculous.” 1 1/2 stars

“This is watch it by your self late at night trying to fall asleep movie. Nothing really good or too bad about it. Has some funny parts but other times you wish it was more of a 40 minute single tv episode and have it get to the point.” 2 1/2 stars

Unfriended

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Six high-school friends are chatting through Skype when they receive a message from their former friend Laura Barns, who committed suicide after watching a footage in Internet showing her completely wasted. They believe it is a troll, but soon they learn that something supernatural is happening. Further, their dirty little secrets are exposed while they are mysteriously murdered one by one.

What people are saying:

“Unfriended adds a novel 21st century twist to the horror genre that transcends its silly storyline and slow pace with a smart, tension-packed script that manages some legitimate chills to go with its timelessly relevant social subtext.” 3 1/2 stars

“Perhaps director Gabriadze and writer Nelson Greaves intended to create a Social Media “Scream” and a commentary on cyber-bullying, but “Unfriended” comes across as disdainful of millennials. ” 2 stars

“Wow, now this is one scary movie, I was practicly sweating after finishing this movie. There’s a lot of anticipation as well as a ghoulish and creepy little story, and a new found footage style, using Skype, I found that to be clever. It’s well done and it’s definitly one scary movie, not just disturbing, but actually SCARY!!! Recommended !!” 3 1/2 stars

“It’s original and definitely watchable, but Unfriended doesn’t sell itself well. After a while I was rooting for the killer. These stupid teenagers lose their s— over the lamest things. Buncha whiners.” 2 stars

“It’s definitely very realistic in terms of its execution in dealing with technology and its format of being shown through computer screens, but as with a lot of found footage films, while it sets up very realistically, it dives too much into wanting to scare its audience rather than letting the restrictions of its concept drive the scares more naturally and subtly. The acting isn’t bad, it’s more so the directing trying to do too much near the end of the film.” 2 stars

Krampus

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on November 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

When his dysfunctional family clashes over the holidays, young Max is disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas. Little does he know, this lack of festive spirit has unleashed the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers. All hell breaks loose as beloved holiday icons take on a monstrous life of their own, laying siege to the fractured family’s home and forcing them to fight for each other if they hope to survive.

What people are saying:

“A very fun Christmas horror movie that deserves a viewing from those looking to have a darkly good time around the holidays. Original in many ways, Krampus may suffer from its numerous undeveloped characters, but for what it tries to accomplish, it succeeds.” 3 stars

“It starts promising with a wicked intro, and the latter half is actually quite funny/cool….but overall the dialogue is just so bad that it’s hard to take seriously, or to laugh. The ending makes up for it a bit…but overall it was hugely disappointing with terrible acting (Mainly all the kids minus the main one). It had so much more potential.” 3 stars

“I saw this in theaters last year and I was blown away. Take something as simple and lovable as Santa Clause and give it a dark twist. It feels like something straight out of the 80’s. Characters you hate and love, and an overall sense of terror when things don’t turn out the way you expect.” 5 stars

“A masterful throwback to eighties horror comedies like Gremlins, and might I dare say even better. The creature effects and designs on the monsters are all fantastic. All the characters feel flushed out and are each given little moments to shine and have interests and personalities. It would be so easy to just set most of these people s cannon fodder, but thankfully this movie is better than that. A fun addition to the genre of both terror and laughs, and that’s hard to do.” 4 stars

“A fascinating premise and awesome creature designs stand out in this very intriguing holiday horror film. Unfortunately the script and acting are only mediocre and the film restrains from going full force into the campiness which holds it back from being truly memorable. Still a solid creature feature that may go into my Christmas movie watch list.” 3 1/2 stars

American Mary

Posted in Horror, Independent, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on September 4, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

“Twisted Twins” Jen and Sylvia Soska are back with their stunning follow-up to the indie hit Dead Hooker in a Trunk. AMERICAN MARY is the story of a medical student named Mary who is growing increasingly broke and disenchanted with medical school and the established doctors she once idolized. The allure of easy money sends a desperate Mary through the messy world of underground surgeries which leaves more marks on her than the so-called freakish clientele. Appearances are everything.

What people are saying:

“A very interesting watch… American Mary has a few weak points, but MANY strong points. Worth a look for some great cinematography, strong main performances, and solid direction. American Mary is a bloody-good time” 4 stars

“American Mary may be very entertaining, but it also leaves viewers with plenty to dissect, right from the first word of its provocative title… one of the very best films at this year’s FrightFest, and practically guaranteed a lasting cult status.” 3 stars

“A Lot of great moments and ideas but it Never fully commits to being either a horror film or a black comedy and the direction feels aimless at times.” 3 stars

“If American Psycho could launch Christian Bale’s career, can we please see more of Katharine Isabelle after this? The subject matter and treatment of women, especially the entire culture of body modification, is done extremely well and the Soska Sisters have staked out a desperately needed perspective in horror. Now if only they had a story to match… the first half plays out like a sizzling-hot biography of an unlikely underground surgeon, then the second half turns all the promising momentum back on itself and collapses into a murderous row of dominoes. While half-baked, it’s far more interesting than the average slasher.” 2 1/2 stars

“Gore, shock factor, brutal scene that made me feel very uncomfortable. It touches on every subject to turn your stomach.” 1/2 star

Little Dead Rotting Hood

Posted in Horror, Independent, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

For years, the old woman in the woods has secretly kept the wolves of the forest at bay. But when the woman dies, the creatures suddenly attack the residents of a nearby small town. As more and more people turn up dead, the townsfolk discover something far more sinister than wolves lurking in the backwoods and fight to save their home from evil by waging a bloody battle against the ruthless creatures. But as the wolves begin to overpower the town, only the woman’s granddaughter may have the key to stopping the bloodbath before it’s too late.

What people are saying:

“I liked this movie quite a lot more than I expected. Being that its an Asylum film, my expectations were very low, so I was very pleasantly surprised by the whole thing, including the acting of some of the stars (two actors that I always really enjoy are in this film). I’m glad I took a chance and watched it. The CGI affects aren’t the best in the world, but ignoring that, its a decent film to watch with some popcorn and your favorite soda. I even hope they make a sequel. ” 4 stars

“Special effects were above average, Acting was really quite good, Plot was actually believable, Scenery was lovely, Gore level was acceptable, The few scenes of nudity actually fit in with the story line and were not just there for the sake of seeing a naked woman! A pleasant surprise from some of the rubbish and total crap that is floating around these days!” 4 stars

Not terrible but pretty cheesy, something u would definitely see on syfy channel.” 3 stars

i feel bad for Eric Balfour (as well as the guy who played his deputy). you can tell he is a decent actor, who just got involved in a super bad choice of a film. the film is not as deplorable as many of its’ “C” rated fellows (“C” meaning “worse than a B movie), since it wasn’t horrible in EVERY aspect of film, but still didn’t quite claw its way out of the category of “i have some money, & zero knowledge of how to make a movie; but i’ve always WANTED to make a movie, so i’ll just press record and see what happens…” A college class project at best.” 1 star

I thought the movie was …” Horrendously Terrible “!!! How can a girl …” ANY GIRL “!!! , continue an audible conversation with another , after having had half of her neck & throat ripped open??!! The so called werewolves are nothing more than ” Black ( C.G.I. ) Mutts ” !!! The transformations ” Full Of Cheese ” , it was just a complete waste of my money!! No Where Near being worthy of my esteemed movie collection!!! The last ” Wolfman ” was waaayy better !!!” 1 star

The Brainiac

Posted in Classics, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , on July 28, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

This outrageous Mexican horror gem opens in the 17th century, where Spanish Baron Vitelius is being sentenced to death for heresy, thanks to his reputation as a Casanova and practitioner of the black arts. Before his death, he curses the bloodlines of the Inquisitors — a curse heralded by the appearance of a comet, which Vitelius declares will mark his vengeance when it passes again. Flash forward 300 years to the swinging ’60s, where the comet does more than just appear in the sky — it slams into the Earth, releasing a brain-sucking demon with a forked tongue, which then transforms into the shape of Vitelius.

What people are saying:

“A mysterious man with magical powers (which are never explained) is burnt alive by the Spanish Inquisition, then returns 300 years later to wreak his vengeance on the descendants of the celibate clergymen who condemned him. Fast moving Mexican silliness that’s famous (and worth seeing) for the ridiculous (but kind of creepy) monster with the three foot long forked tongue.” 2 1/2 stars

“You MUST see this movie!” It’s strange. It’s hilarious. It’s an absolute must see. What are the odds that a movie known as The Brainiac would prove to be so gleefully insane?” 4 stars

“It takes itself so seriously and actually sort of works at times as a slow burning, Dracula-esque horror film. What makes the whole thing fall into B-movie hilarity is the ridiculous monster. It’s like the fly crossed with the devil. It’s so bizarre seeing this movie building up suspense and drama (and it’s heavy on the dialogue by the way) only to flush that down the toilet real quick with the costume they used. The problem is this movie falls kind of in the middle somewhere. It’s not bad in a Plan 9, let’s riff this movie kind of way. Whenever the monster isn’t on screen it’s just fairly generic (almost a bit past its time) horror b-movie. When the monster is on screen it does fall into the Plan 9 territory. But overall it is just stuck in the middle and not good, but not that bad, and definitely not that funny.” 2 1/2 stars

“It’s the kind of outrageous movie that it’s impossible to get mad at. This is a movie that’s so ridiculously goofy that, if it were to come out today, it would torn to shreds, but because it came out in a time, it’s a movie for that time. However, it is definitely good for some corny thrills on a late October night.” 4 stars

“Pretty wild Mexican horror. You can’t call it good, but it’s entertaining.” 3 stars