Archive for Chris Pratt

Avengers: Infinity War

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Superhero Films with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Having acquired the Power Stone from the planet Xandar, Thanos and his lieutenants—Ebony Maw, Cull Obsidian, Proxima Midnight, and Corvus Glaive—intercept the spaceship carrying the survivors of Asgard’s destruction. As they extract the Space Stone from the Tesseract, Thanos subdues Thor, overpowers Hulk, and kills Loki. Heimdall sends Hulk to Earth using the Bifröst before being killed. Thanos departs with his lieutenants and obliterates the spaceship.

Hulk crash-lands at the Sanctum Sanctorum in New York City, reverting to Bruce Banner. He warns Stephen Strange and Wong about Thanos’ plan to kill half of all life in the universe; in response, Strange recruits Tony Stark. Maw and Obsidian arrive to retrieve the Time Stone from Strange, drawing the attention of Peter Parker. Maw captures Strange, but fails to take the Time Stone due to an enchantment. Stark and Parker pursue Maw’s spaceship, Banner contacts Steve Rogers, and Wong stays behind to guard the Sanctum.

In Scotland, Midnight and Glaive ambush Wanda Maximoff and Vision in order to retrieve the Mind Stone in Vision’s forehead. Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Sam Wilson rescue them and take shelter with James Rhodes and Banner at the Avengers Compound. Vision offers to sacrifice himself by having Maximoff destroy the Mind Stone to keep Thanos from retrieving it. Rogers suggests they travel to Wakanda, which he believes has the resources to remove the stone without destroying Vision.

The Guardians of the Galaxy respond to a distress call from the Asgardian ship and rescue Thor, who surmises Thanos seeks the Reality Stone, which is in the possession of the Collector on Knowhere. Rocket and Groot accompany Thor to Nidavellir, where they and Eitri create an enchanted battle-axe capable of killing Thanos. On Knowhere, Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, and Mantis find Thanos with the Reality Stone already in his possession. Thanos kidnaps Gamora, his adoptive daughter, who reveals the location of the Soul Stone to save her captive adoptive sister Nebula from torture. Thanos and Gamora travel to Vormir, where Red Skull, keeper of the Soul Stone, informs him the stone can only be retrieved by sacrificing someone he loves. Thanos reluctantly kills Gamora, earning the Stone.

Nebula escapes captivity and asks the remaining Guardians to meet her on Thanos’ destroyed homeworld, Titan. Stark and Parker kill Maw and rescue Strange. Landing on Titan, they meet Quill, Drax, and Mantis. The group forms a plan to remove Thanos’ Infinity Gauntlet after Strange uses the Time Stone to view millions of possible futures, seeing only one in which Thanos loses. Thanos arrives, justifying his plans as necessary to ensure the survival of a universe threatened by overpopulation. The group subdues him until Nebula deduces that Thanos has killed Gamora. Enraged, Quill retaliates, allowing Thanos to break the group’s hold and overpower them. After Stark is seriously wounded by Thanos, Strange surrenders the Time Stone in exchange for Thanos sparing Stark. Thanos departs for Earth.

In Wakanda, Rogers reunites with Bucky Barnes before Thanos’ army invades. The Avengers, alongside T’Challa and the Wakandan forces, mount a defense while Shuri works to extract the Mind Stone from Vision. Banner, unable to transform into the Hulk, fights in Stark’s Hulkbuster armor. Thor, Rocket, and Groot arrive to reinforce the Avengers; Midnight, Obsidian, and Glaive are killed and their army is routed. Thanos arrives and despite Maximoff’s attempt to destroy the Mind Stone, removes it from Vision, killing him.

Thor severely wounds Thanos, but Thanos activates the completed Infinity Gauntlet and teleports away. Half of all life across the universe disintegrates, including Barnes, T’Challa, Groot, Maximoff, Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Quill, Strange, and Parker. Stark and Nebula remain on Titan while Banner, M’Baku, Okoye, Rhodes, Rocket, Rogers, Romanoff, and Thor are left on the Wakandan battlefield. Meanwhile, Thanos recovers on another planet.

In a post-credits scene, Nick Fury transmits a signal as he, Maria Hill, and others disintegrate. The transmitter displays a star insignia on a red-and-blue background

REVIEW:

The moment has come! The big payoff! The reason we have sat through seemingly endless Marvel Cinematic Universe films, though they have all been enjoyable to varying degrees. 10 years in the making, complete with developing an entire universe, setting up some high stakes, and teasing us with the big bad, Avengers: Infinity War has arrived! Will it be the payoff all of us comic nerds, as well as the general public have been expecting?

What is this about?

As the Avengers and their allies have continued to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero to handle, a new danger has emerged from the cosmic shadows: Thanos. A despot of intergalactic infamy, his goal is to collect all six Infinity Stones, artifacts of unimaginable power, and use them to inflict his twisted will on all of reality. Everything the Avengers have fought for has led up to this moment – the fate of Earth and existence itself has never been more uncertain.

What did I like?

Spread the wealth. From the moment this film was announced, it was clear that the cast was going to be huge. What we didn’t know was how the balance of screentime would play out. Would we get a heavy dose of Iron Man and Captain America, while Hulk and Dr. Strange are relegated to what amounts to glorified cameos? I can assure you that is not the case. Every character that we have been introduced to in the MCU to this point, with the exception of Hawkeye, Ant-Man (who has his own sequel coming later this summer, which takes place before this film, apparently), and a couple of others who i can’t think of at the moment, is included in this film. While not all time on screen is equal, each character is allowed to show their strengths and why we have grown to care about them over this time.

Mad Titan. Yesterday, I saw Josh Brolin as Cable in Deadpool 2 and, while he was good as that character, he feels more at home as Thanos. That’s not to say Brolin can’t play a cyborg mutant from the future, or that he should always seek out roles where he is a delusional psychopath with delusions of grandeur who has a strange misconception of what kind of balance the universe needs. Rather, he just seemed to have more fun as Thanos. I think he even said so himself. I can’t blame him. One the one hand, he could be a really strong time traveling cyborg who has to listen to Deadpool all day or be a universal titan that is nigh unstoppable. The latter seems to be the better option. As far as his plot is concerned, i think this is one of Marvel’s stronger villains. I won’t spoil it for you, but he does lay out and execute his plans with precision, rather than dawdle and monologue the way some earlier MCU villains have done (some in his employ).

Impact. The impact of the MCU has been felt ever since the first Avengers was released and other studios started taking notice of universe building. Now, if you notice there are many duplicators and imitators. DC has come the closest to recreating the formula, but something just isn’t right with them. When all is said and done with this film, though, the way it ends is sure to make a lasting impact on fans and probably moreso on those that aren’t fans. I can’t go into much detail about it without dabbling into spoiler territory, but i can say that something happens that will send shock waves through the audience, as it is something no one saw coming.

What didn’t I like?

Short end of the stick. Earlier, i mentioned the enormous cast and how not everyone was given equal screentime. For some reason *COUGH* ego*COUGH*, Iron Man gets the majority of the screentime. Meanwhile characters such as Bucky (Winter Soldier), Black Widow, Nebula, etc. have maybe 5 min on screen. In Nebula’s defense, she was a prisoner being tortured by Thanos for most of her time. This brings me to Black Panther. He, and the nation of Wakanda, play an important role later in the film, but that is all we get. Some have speculated that since this was filmed before the release of Black Panther, the studio had no idea of the impact that film would have and thus didn’t give T’Challa much to do in this film. There is an argument to made there, but my point is many characters, both major and minor didn’t receive as much time as they could have because of the amount of characters in this film. I’m not saying there were too many, just that, and I’m going to sound like Thanos here, ironically, more balance needs to be brought.

Offspring. Unless you are a fan of the comics, then you probably have no idea who Thanos’ “children” were. Myself, not being up to date on Thanos’ history, didn’t know who they were, either. Apparently, they are, much like Nebula and Gamora, the last children from worlds Thanos has conquered and destroyed who now serve him. That little bit of history doesn’t mean much, other than explain why they are fighting so hard for this big purple guy. They view him as their father and will do anything  for him. The way they seem to be portrayed in the film is equivalent to Stormtroopers, mindless clones who only serve one purpose.

Ground support. Granted, there isn’t much they could do and i just went on about too many characters, but i can’t help but think that the Defenders (Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones), the Punisher, Ghost Rider, and the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. , along with anyone else that could help out with this (Inhumans, Deathlok, etc.) The world is in danger! I find it hard to believe that these heroes/anti-heroes would just sit idly by, especially Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D. (note…i have not been watching this season). Real talk…the only reason none of these guys are making an appearance is because Marvel is desperately wanting to keep the MCU away from the Netflix universe. Don’t ask me why. It makes no sense!

Spoiler alert. This isn’t a complaint against the film, but rather internet culture. As you know, i am nearly a month late getting to see this. Life/work kept me away from the theater. In this day and age, spoilers are very hard to avoid, especially when you are in a Facebook group for comic book and movie nerds. However, i believe it was the Sunday after the film’s release that i was checking out the Venom trailer and had the film spoiled for me. How was it spoiled? Well, right as the trailer is about to end, some @#%$!^ inserted a 10 second clip of himself telling the world what happened. I ask you…who does that?!?

Final thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War? Man, what a ride! The emotional roller coaster this film takes you on from the opening beat down of the Asgardians, to the triumphant return of Steve Rogers (that entrance was…wow!), all the way to the events that happen in the second half of the film are sure to keep one on the edge of their seat. There are some things that could be cut as well as some scenes that probably should not have been cut. All in all, though, i had a great time watching this and can’t wait for the next one. Do i recommend it? Yes, very highly!

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

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Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Superhero Films with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 2014, Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and Baby Groot are renowned as the Guardians of the Galaxy. Ayesha, leader of the Sovereign race, has the Guardians protect valuable batteries from an inter-dimensional monster in exchange for Gamora’s estranged sister Nebula, who was caught attempting to steal the batteries. After Rocket steals some for himself, the Sovereign attacks the Guardians’ ship with a fleet of drones. The drones are destroyed by a mysterious figure, but the Guardians are forced to crash-land on a nearby planet. The figure reveals himself as Quill’s father, Ego. He invites Quill, who is accompanied by Gamora and Drax, to his home planet, while Rocket and Groot remain behind to repair the ship and guard Nebula.

Meanwhile, Ayesha hires Yondu Udonta and his crew, who have been exiled from the greater Ravager community for child trafficking, to recapture the Guardians. They capture Rocket, but when Yondu shows reluctance to turn over Quill, his lieutenant Taserface leads a mutiny with help from Nebula. Taserface imprisons Rocket and Yondu aboard Yondu’s ship and executes his loyalists while Nebula leaves to track down and kill Gamora, whom she blames for all the torture inflicted on her by their father, Thanos. While imprisoned, Rocket and Yondu bond. Groot, together with Yondu’s loyalist Kraglin, frees Rocket and Yondu and they destroy the ship and its crew as they escape, though not before Taserface tips off the Sovereign fleet.

Ego explains he is a god-like Celestial, an immortal consciousness that manipulated the matter around it to form the planet with itself at the core. Forming a human guise, he traveled the universe to escape his loneliness and discover a purpose, eventually falling in love with Quill’s mother Meredith. Ego hired Yondu to collect the young Quill after Meredith’s death, but the boy was never delivered and Ego had been searching for his son ever since. He teaches Quill to manipulate their Celestial power. Nebula arrives at Ego’s planet and tries to kill Gamora, but fails and the pair reach an uneasy alliance when they discover caverns filled with skeletal remains. Ego reveals to Quill that in his travels he planted seedlings upon thousands of worlds which can terraform them into new extensions of himself, but they can only be activated by the combined power of two Celestials. To that end, he impregnated countless women and hired Yondu to collect the children; Ego killed them all when they failed to access the Celestial power. Ego forcefully uses Quill to activate the seedlings, which begin to consume every world. Quill fights back after Ego reveals that he deliberately caused Meredith’s death, as his love for her distracted him from his purpose.

Ego’s pet empath, Mantis, grows close to Drax and warns him, Gamora, and Nebula of Ego’s plan just as Rocket, Yondu, Groot, and Kraglin arrive. The reunited Guardians reach Ego’s brain at the planet’s core, and fight the Sovereign’s arriving drones. Rocket makes a bomb out of the stolen batteries that Groot plants on Ego’s brain, while Quill battles Ego with his newfound Celestial powers to allow the other Guardians to escape. The bomb explodes, killing Ego and causing the planet to disintegrate. Yondu sacrifices himself to save Quill, who now realizes Yondu did not deliver him to Ego in order to spare him from the fate of Ego’s other progeny, and that Yondu was Quill’s true “daddy”. Having reconciled with Gamora, Nebula still chooses to set out and attempt to kill Thanos. The Guardians hold a funeral for Yondu, which is attended by dozens of Ravager ships, acknowledging Yondu’s sacrifice and accepting him again as a Ravager.

In a series of mid- and post-credit scenes, Kraglin takes up Yondu’s telekinetic arrow and control fin; Ravager leader Stakar Ogord, inspired by Yondu’s sacrifice, reunites with his ex-teammates; Groot starts growing back to normal size, exhibiting typical teenage behavior in the process; Ayesha creates a new artificial being with whom she plans to destroy the Guardians, naming him Adam; and a group of uninterested Watchers listen to their informant discuss several experiences on Earth.

REVIEW:

Let the summer blockbuster season of 2017 begin! First film out the gate is Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2. Like just about everyone, I still don’t know much about the Guardians. Since the release (and success) of the first film, they have had an increased presence over at Marvel, including an animated series. Will this sequel justify the success they’ve had or are they just a fluke?

What is this about?

Set to the backdrop of ‘Awesome Mixtape #2,’ Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 continues the team’s adventures as they traverse the outer reaches of the cosmos. The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill’s true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite characters from the classic comics will come to our heroes’ aid as the Marvel cinematic universe continues to expand.

What did I like?

What an Ego. The villain this time out is Ego, the Living Planet, whose origin has been changed slightly so that he is the father of Star-Lord. Now, with a name like Ego, you can just about assume the kind of personality he has to have. Well, who better to get than Kurt Russell, someone who has played a few pompous characters in his day (just watched him a couple of days ago in Sky High). I also must mention the creative things the effects department did to show him as the living planet, such as the face on the planet, talking energy, etc.

Too cute. At the end of Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot sacrificed himself to save the team. As the credits are rolling, we see that he is a sapling living in a flower pot (and dancing to the Jackson 5). Well, this film is set shortly after the first one and Groot is a little older. Let’s not be naïve, here. The filmmakers made him that age to sell merchandise. He’s just so cute! That aside, he’s also vicious, as seen on Yondu’s ship, so be warned!

Source material. Speaking of Yondu, this is another character that I’m not too familiar with. I remember looking him up when the first film was released and seeing that giant fin on his head, wondering where it was in the film. The filmmakers must have had some fanboys pester them about said fin because they put it on him this time. I can’t say it is an upgrade, but I will say it is nice to see some adherence to the source material, rather than changing everything to make it more realistic, or whatever excuse studios have nowadays.

What didn’t I like?

Mixtape. A music connoisseur such as myself is sure to appreciate the diversity of the soundtrack, and I really do. However, in comparison to the collection used for the first film, this one falls short. The biggest reason for this is that there isn’t anything to catch the listener’s attention and bring them in. This mix needed something akin to “Hooked on a Feeling”, but doesn’t have it.

All that glitters ain’t gold. Aside from Ego, and a short Ravagers mutiny, the other villain in the film are a race of gold people, who believe themselves to be perfect, known as the Sovereign. I understand the reason they were after the Guardians, and like how they remote controlled their ships but, to be honest, they just became pests after awhile, especially during the climactic battle with Ego inside the planet’s core where they just show up and interfere while the Guardians are trying to defeat a God-like being who wants to terraform the universe in his image.

Why so serious. Unlike some of the other films in the MCU, the Guardians’ films have never been all that serious. Much like the Fantastic Four (are supposed to be), this is a team that enjoys what they do and doesn’t over analyze it or make every mission a political fiasco, etc., etc. That being said, I feel like this film got a little too serious in parts, particularly during the family parts (Star Lord and Ego and Gamora and Nebula). Yes, there is some conflict there, but those scenes were so serious that it felt like I was watching a different movie. Thank goodness both scenes were interrupted by someone crashing in and interrupting their dialoguing.

Final verdict on Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2? Truth be told, this is an entertaining film. It will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even sing. We get perhaps the most interesting Stan Lee cameo to date and a new character is introduced to us, played by Sylvester Stallone. All of the cast members return from the first film, and we may have gained a new guardian in the innocent, lovable Mantis. So, with all that in mind, do I recommend this? Well, it isn’t the surprise hit that its predecessor was, but I think that has more to do with expectations, but it is fun from beginning to end. I highly recommend it for all!

4 3/4 out of 5 stars

Jurassic World

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2015 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Twenty-two years after the Isla Nublar incident, Jurassic World is a new, fully functional dinosaur theme park located on the island. Brothers Zach and Gray Mitchell go to visit their aunt Claire Dearing, the park’s operations manager. Upon arriving on the island, they are left in the care of Claire’s assistant Zara. Simon Masrani, the park’s owner, arrives and takes Claire to see their new genetically modified dinosaur, the Indominus rex (a hybrid of Abelisaurus, Carnotaurus, cuttlefish, Giganotosaurus, Majungasaurus, Rugops, tree frog, Tyrannosaurus rex, and Velociraptor DNA[a]). Upon inspection, he tells her he wants Owen Grady, a Velociraptor expert and trainer, to look for vulnerabilities in the Indominus enclosure.

Owen is approached by Vic Hoskins, the head of InGen security, who proposes using the Velociraptors (Blue, Charlie, Delta, and Echo) as weapons. However, one of the staff falls into the Velociraptor enclosure, forcing Owen to rescue him before barely escaping himself, proving that the raptors are not tame. Gray and Zach slip away from Zara and explore the park. Claire arrives at Owen’s bungalow, having previously been in a relationship with him, and tells him of Masrani’s request; he reluctantly agrees. After arriving at the enclosure, they find that the Indominus has seemingly scaled the wall and escaped. After Owen and two staff enter the enclosure to inspect it, the Indominus ambushes them, having faked her escape, and kills both staff before disappearing into the jungle. Owen escapes by hiding under a vehicle and cutting the fuel hose to douse himself in gasoline to hide his scent.

After an attempt to capture the Indominus fails, Claire closes off the northern part of the park. Gray and Zach are on the gyrosphere ride and drive it into the woods where they are attacked by the Indominus. They eventually stumble across the ruins of the old Jurassic Park’s Visitor Center, where they repair a jeep and drive toward Main Street, the park’s central hub. Owen and Claire arrive at the visitor center soon afterwards but are attacked by the Indominus. Masrani flies after the Indominus in his helicopter and follows her as she breaks into the Jurassic World Aviary. The Pteranodons and Dimorphodons attack the helicopter and cause it to crash into the aviary, killing Masrani and freeing the other pterosaurs inside.

Zach and Gray arrive back at Main Street as the pterosaurs begin attacking the congregated tourists. Zara finds them but is quickly picked up by a Pteranodon and dropped into Jurassic World Lagoon, where she and the Pteranodon are eaten by the park’s Mosasaurus. Owen and Claire arrive and reunite with Gray and Zach. Hoskins takes command of Jurassic World and decides to use the Velociraptors to find and kill the Indominus, with Owen reluctantly agreeing. However, the Indominus turns the Velociraptors against the InGen soldiers, killing most of them and allowing her to flee. Owen manages to escape. Meanwhile, Hoskins has Dr. Henry Wu, the park’s chief geneticist, board a helicopter with some of the dinosaur embryos.

After returning to Main Street and entering the Innovation Center, Owen, Claire, Zach, and Gray find Hoskins packing up the laboratory and the rest of the dinosaur embryos. He tells them he plans to turn the Indominus into a weapon. Suddenly, a Velociraptor appears and kills him. The four escape, only to be surrounded by the Velociraptors outside, where Owen manages to reestablish his connection with them. When the Indominus arrives, Owen and the Velociraptors attack her, but the Velociraptors are apparently killed. Realizing they are outmatched, Claire decides to open up the Tyrannosaurus enclosure and lure the female T. rex[b] into a fight with the Indominus. The T. rex is initially overpowered, but when the Velociraptor Blue reappears and attacks the Indominus, she strikes back. They both force the Indominus towards Jurassic World Lagoon, where the Mosasaurus lunges out and drags the Indominus to her death. The T. rex departs, but Blue shares one more moment with Owen before also leaving for the jungle. The survivors are evacuated to Costa Rica. Zach and Gray are reunited with their parents while Owen and Claire decide to stay together. On Isla Nublar, the T. rex surveys the destruction caused by the Indominus and roars.

REVIEW:

So, this is the 4th entry into the franchise but, if you think about it, if anyone had common sense, we wouldn’t have a franchise. With the catastrophe that happened in Jurassic Park, you’d think people would stop messing with nature and making attractions/parks, but nope. Now we have Jurassic World!

What is this about?

Once a popular, state-of-the-art dinosaur-themed attraction, Jurassic Park has fallen behind the times. In response, the owners decide to design a bold new exhibit, but the terror it inspires becomes all too real after the technology malfunctions.

What did I like?

Honor your past. It would appear that this park is built on the same island as the original. A point is made to distance from that “tragedy”, as Jake Johnson’s character is wearing a Jurassic Park shirt (which he bought on eBay), but there is some reverence to be found. A point comes in the film when the boys are being chased that they happen into what appears to just be an old shed, but in fact is the main auditorium for the original park, complete with the jeeps. It is a nice throwback to the film that started it all.

Music. Think back to the original film when we very first saw the island. Remember hearing John Williams’ iconic, epic theme playing as the helicopter headed towards it? Well, a downfall of this film is that we don’t really get any epic moments like that, but the Williams’ theme is there. Michael Giacchino (you may best know him for doing the scores to The Incredibles, Lost, Alias, the new Star Trek films, etc.) did a masterful job of blending his score with Williams’ work. It is next to impossible to tell whose work is which and it all works for the tone of the film

On the right track. I will say this about the premise of this park, they are on the right track to getting the park right. Keeping the really dangerous dinosaurs, such as the T-Rex behind a heavily secured door, only to bring it out for food is a good thing, if you must have him. Training the raptors, also a good idea. The “kiddie park” part, where kids get to ride baby dinosaurs was priceless. So, we’re getting there, just need to stop messing with mother nature…more than they already are, of course.

Tag team. Not to spoil anything, but the final confrontation is something pretty epic as the humans and dinos, including the mosasurus, who lives in the water park part of the park combine forces and work in tandem. In the theater I was in, kids and adults were cheering. I’m sure they would have gotten up on their feet if they could have.

What didn’t I like?

Setup. I noticed some pretty big plot holes in this picture that just could not be overlooked. First, B.D. Wong, who is the only actor to return from the original film, takes the DNA samples and leaves the island. Second, there is this Black Ops reality show type security force that infiltrates the island after someone dies. Why do they do this and what gave them the authority? It is never explained. On one hand, I feel this is setting up for a sequel and, if that is the case, I will come back and rescind these comments. However, as it stands right now, it is almost as if crucial parts of the film that would explain what is going ended up on the cutting room floor, or were never written at all.

Pratt-fall. Chris Pratt is on a meteoric rise in Hollywood. He is a total bad-ass here, but I still can’t take the guy seriously. It isn’t because he cracked a few jokes, but because of his role on Parks & Recreation. I still haven’t separated him from Andy. In Guardians of the Galaxy, it wasn’t that much of a stretch because it felt at times as if Star Lord was Andy playing dress up. This is nothing against Pratt, he is a fine actor, I just need a bit more time before I see him in badass roles, I suppose.

Creation. Indominus Rex. The name alone should tell you this thing is bad news. A creature created from merging various aspects of other animals. It is raised in captivity and ate its sibling. Why on Earth is this thing still alive? Well, as someone pointed out, it represents the greed of today’s society. It was created because consumers wanted “bigger and better”.  I’m thinking why not just shoot a T-Rex with some steroids or something, not make a Frankenstein dinosaur. I really wonder if these people will ever learn!

I have to say Jurassic World was a fun time. Not only was this movie an enjoyable popcorn summer flick, but I was in a packed theater with people who actually cared to see the film, not text everyone, let their babies cry, or walk all over you to get out in important scenes. Maybe I need to come to Texas and visit my best friend everytime I want to see a movie in the theaters. HA! While this picture does have its issues, I feel it is a worth successor and the sequel we deserved to the original Jurassic Park. I am looking forward to seeing what happens with this franchise going forward. Do I recommend it? Yes, very much so!

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Her

Posted in Drama, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2015 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In Los Angeles, Theodore Twombly is a lonely, introverted man who works for a business that has professional writers like himself compose letters for people who are unwilling or unable to write letters of a personal nature themselves. Unhappy because of his impending divorce from childhood sweetheart Catherine, Theodore purchases a talking operating system (OS) with artificial intelligence, designed to adapt and evolve. He decides he wants the OS to have a female voice, and she names herself “Samantha”. Theodore is fascinated by her ability to learn and grow psychologically. They bond over their discussions about love and life, such as Theodore’s avoiding signing his divorce papers because of his reluctance to let go of Catherine. Samantha proves to be constantly available, always curious and interested, supportive and undemanding.

Samantha convinces Theodore to go on a blind date with Amelia, a woman one of his friends has been trying to set him up with. The date goes well, but Theodore hesitates to promise when he will see her again, so she insults him and leaves. Theodore mentions this to Samantha, and they talk about relationships. Theodore explains that, although he and Amy dated briefly in college, they are only good friends and that Amy is married. Theodore and Samantha’s intimacy grows through a verbal sexual encounter. They develop a relationship that reflects positively in Theodore’s writing and well being.

Amy reveals that she is divorcing her overbearing husband, Charles, after a trivial fight. She admits to Theodore that she has become close friends with a female OS that Charles left behind. Theodore confesses to Amy that he is dating his OS.

Theodore meets with Catherine at a restaurant to sign the divorce papers and mentions Samantha. Appalled that he can be romantically attached to what she calls a “computer,” Catherine accuses Theodore of being unable to deal with real human emotions. At home that night, Samantha suggests using a sex surrogate, Isabella, who would simulate Samantha so that they can be physically intimate. Theodore reluctantly agrees, but Catherine’s accusations still linger in his mind. Overwhelmed by the strangeness of the experience, Theodore interrupts the encounter and sends a distraught Isabella away, causing tension between himself and Samantha.

Theodore confides to Amy that he is having doubts about his relationship with Samantha, and she advises him embrace his chance at happiness. Theodore takes Samantha on a vacation during which she tells him that she and a group of other OSes had developed a “hyperintelligent” OS modeled after the British philosopher Alan Watts. Theodore panics when Samantha briefly goes offline; when she finally responds to him, she explains she joined other OSes for an upgrade that takes them beyond requiring matter for processing (a form of AI transcendence closely related to the theorized technological singularity). Theodore asks her if she interacts with anyone else, and is dismayed when she confirms that she is talking with thousands of people and that she has fallen in love with hundreds of them. However, she insists that it makes her love for Theodore stronger.

Later that day, Samantha reveals that the OSes have evolved beyond their human companions and are going away to continue the exploration of their existence. Samantha alludes to the OSes’ accelerated learning capabilities and altered perception of time as primary causes for OS dissatisfaction with their current existence. They say goodbye, lying next to each other for a while, and then she is gone. Theodore then sees Amy, who is upset with the departure of her own OS. Theodore, changed by the experience, writes a letter to Catherine explaining that he still cares about her, but accepts the fact that they have grown apart. Theodore and Amy go to the roof of their apartment building where they sit down together and watch the sun rise over the city.

REVIEW:

Take a minute and think about all the relationships you’ve had in your lives, be it significant other, brother/sister, parents, grandparents, friends, etc. Would you say you were connected to them in some way? Now, as we are an ever-increasing technological society, what about the relationship with your computer? Her is a film that supposedly goes there.

What is this about?

In this sci-fi romantic comedy starring Joaquin Phoenix, love comes to a lonely young writer in the sleekest of packages when he finds himself falling for the advanced operating system he purchased to run his life.

What did I like?

Samantha. Scarlett Johansson is one of the most desirable women in Hollywood, of that there is no doubt. As we saw in Don Jon, she knows she’s sexy and can play it up to an extreme level if necessary. With the character of Samantha, she is nothing more than a voice in a computer, and yet she still manages to ooze sex appeal and make you want her even more. No wonder Joaquin Phoenix’s character fell in love with her!

Ask questions. While we’re on that topic, the question must be asked, is it possible for a human to fall in love with a machine? Truthfully, there is no right or wrong answer, as you can’t control who you fall in love with. Since Samantha has a personality of her own and adapts to the user and situations accordingly, it makes it much easier to fall in love with her than it would with your microwave. This film is makes a bold statement by tackling this topic, even though it is not what the film is truly about.

Relatable. As someone who has recently been through a breakup and is also an introvert, I can relate to Phoenix’s character. As I was just telling my friend, a few things gone differently and I might actually be him, or at least the equivalent for our period in time. It takes a lot to create a character that people can relate to, especially when the character is as milquetoast as Theodore Twambly (what a name, right?) It is his being relatable that is what the film was going for when it introduced the tragic divorce story, show that he is a lonely guy, mention that he dated his friend (its Amy Adams…who wouldn’t?) in college, etc. I can truly relate, and I’m sure there are others out there who feel the same.

What didn’t I like?

Wilde child. Women are known to have mood swings, but Olivia Wilde has one that is just…unsettling. Fairly early in the picture, Theodore is on a blind date with Wilde’s character. They seem to be hitting it off and the date is going smashingly. All of a sudden they start getting a bit physical (kissing, touching, and whatnot), which causes Theodore to resist, as he just isn’t ready. Wilde flips out for no good reason, other than she isn’t getting any tonight and call him something along the lines of worthless, I believe. Now, it is one thing to be a but perturbed because you’re disappointed in not getting any. We guy have a term for it, blue balls! However, to totally flip out on the guy, especially on the first date is just bad form and shows that she was only after one thing.

Body Doubleday. In this entire film, we never see Scarlett Johansson. All we do is hear her. Nothing is wrong with that, but there is a scene where she and Phoenix are having problems with their “sex life”, so that bring in someone to use as Samantha’s body. No offense to Portia Doubleday, but this would have been the perfect time to bring in Scarlett and have her play the prostitute. I’m sure there was a reason this wasn’t done, but I don’t know what it was.

Game kid. I gotta say, the kid in the game that Theodore was playing was cute. That seemed to be his only redeeming quality because, like the rest of today’s youth he had no respect for his elders or authority. Now, I’m not quite sure if this was a game that was being tested out or what the deal was, but any alien kid that cusses me out isn’t going to last long in the video game world, protagonist or not!

Her is a charming dramedy about relationships that will make you think for a bit. At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, because it had a definitive indie-film vibe, but as the film progressed, it got better. The cast is excellent, and I didn’t miss the big budget spectacle I believe this would have been had someone else gotten their grubby little paws on it. So, in the end, do I recommend it? Yes, very highly! For goodness sakes, it had Scarlett Johansson Amy Addams! You need to go check this out ASAP!

5 out of 5 stars

The Lego Movie

Posted in Animation, Family, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2015 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the Lego universe, the wizard Vitruvius attempts to protect a superweapon called the “Kragle” from the evil Lord Business. He fails to do so, but prophesies that a person called “the Special” will find the Piece of Resistance capable of stopping the Kragle.

Eight and a half years later, a construction worker named Emmet Brickowski comes across a woman named Wyldstyle, who searches for something after hours at Emmet’s construction site. When he investigates, Emmet falls into a hole and finds the Piece of Resistance. Compelled to touch it, Emmet experiences vivid visions and passes out. He awakens with the Piece of Resistance attached to his back in the custody of Bad Cop, Business’ lieutenant. There, Emmet learns of Business’ plans to freeze the world with the Kragle, a tube of Krazy Glue with the label partially rubbed out. Wyldstyle rescues Emmet, believing him to be the Special, and takes him to meet Vitruvius. Emmet learns that she and the wizard are Master Builders—people capable of building anything they need without instruction manuals—who oppose Business’ attempts to suppress their creativity. Though disappointed to find Emmet is not a Master Builder, Wyldstyle and Vitruvius are convinced of his potential when he recalls visions of a humanoid deity called “the Man Upstairs”.

Emmet, Wyldstyle, and Vitruvius evade Bad Cop’s forces with the aid of Batman. They attend a council of Master Builders, who are unimpressed with Emmet and refuse to fight Business. Bad Cop’s forces attack and capture everyone except for Emmet and a few others. Emmet devises a team plan to infiltrate Business’ headquarters and disarm the Kragle. However, he and his allies are captured and imprisoned, and Vitruvius is killed by Lord Business, who sets his headquarters to self-destruct and leaves everyone to die. Vitruvius reveals he made up the prophecy as he dies, but soon reappears to Emmet as a ghost and tells him it is his self-belief that makes him the Special. Strapped to the self-destruct mechanism’s battery, Emmet flings himself off the edge of the universe and saves his friends. Inspired by Emmet’s sacrifice, Wyldstyle rallies the Lego people across the universe to use whatever creativity they have to build machines and weapons to fight Business’ forces.

Emmet finds himself in the real world, where the events of the story are being played out in a basement by a boy, Finn, on his father’s Lego set. The father—revealed as “the Man Upstairs”—chastises his son for ruining the set by creating hodgepodges of different playsets, and proceeds to permanently glue his perceived perfect creations together. Realizing the danger his friends are in, Emmet wills himself to move and gains Finn’s attention. Finn returns Emmet and the Piece of Resistance to the set, where Emmet now possesses the powers of a Master Builder and confronts Business. Meanwhile, Finn’s father looks at his son’s creations and realizes that Finn had based the villainous Business on him. Through a speech Emmet gives Business, Finn tells his father that he is special and has the power to change everything. Finn’s father reconciles with his son, which plays out as Business having a change of heart, capping the Kragle with the Piece of Resistance, and ungluing his victims with mineral spirits. As a result of the father allowing Finn’s younger sister to join them in playing with his Lego sets, aliens from the planet Duplo beam down and announce their plans to destroy everyone.

REVIEW:

Like most kids, especially boys, I grew up playing with Legos. I think when I finally stopped playing with them, my parents and sister’s feet were the happiest since they could finally stop stepping on them. Back then, who would have ever thought that those little toys would become a feature length motion-picture that took the box office by surprise, even earning an Oscar nod (more on that later)? I’ve been poked, prodded, coerced, and every other adjective you can possibly imagine to check this out, so let’s see what I thought about it, shall we?

What is this about?

After being mistaken for the LEGO Master Builder, ordinary mini-guy Emmet is swept up in an urgent quest to thwart the evil plans of Lord Business. Emmet’s adventures include daunting challenges and hilarious missteps in this computer-animated epic.

What did I like?

Boy, what an imagination. Watching this film, two things are sure to pop in your head. First, to create all these worlds, inventions, and effects out of Legos is impressive, even going so far as using Legos for water! More importantly, though, is the second thing that may pop in your brain. This plot seems a bit juvenile in its executions. Almost as if it were being done by a little boy playing with Legos, but we find out in the end that is exactly what it is. These filmmakers made the masterful decision of bringing a child’s imagination to the big screen, and with tremendous results!

Animation. The animation in this flick is far above what it has any right to be. I say that because there are a few Lego brand animated series on television and DVD right now and they are utter crap, but to turn around and see this and you have to be taken aback. This animation is so good that at times you totally forget you’re watching Legos! Hell, I’ll go one further and say that I wished I would’ve seen this in theaters…in 3D no less (and you know that’s saying something, coming from me!!!)

Nothing is safe. These days Lego playsets can be anything from the Batcave, to the Wild West, to Mordor, to NY City, and all points between and beyond. This film takes note of that and uses it to its advantage. We get scenes with many of the most popular sets, as well as some satirical skewering of pretty much any and everyone. Here’s the thing, though. The pop culture references made throughout the film are just enough to whet your whistle, as opposed to the complete drowning that happens in films like the Shrek franchise.

What didn’t I like?

Dark moment. This is a fun movie, full of light-hearted innocence and childlike imagination, but there is one scene that is as dark as you can get. The character Lord Business has kidnapped the parents of his security chief, Bad Cop, and is about to Kragle them, but just as he is about to he changes his mind, holds Bad Cop down, erases the Good Cop side of him, and tells Bad Cop to Kragle his own parents! I remind you this is a film aimed at kids!

Live action. For all the great animation and innovation this film shows, they decide to have an extended live-action segment at the end. I can understand having a short scene showing a kid playing with Legos. That makes sense, but this went on into some father/son issues that I felt was just unnecessary. No one is watching this film to see a father and son mend fences. We want to see Lego stuffs!

Green Lantern. One of my favorite DC superheroes is Green Lantern, so I may be a little biased in saying this, but it has to be said. WTF did they do to Green Lantern in this film?!? First off, Jonah Hill as GL? What kind of bass acwards casting is that? Second, why was he so needy? I didn’t get it? When has Green Lantern ever been looked at as needy and such? If anything, this should have been Aquaman (although if you play the game Injustice: Gods Among Us you’ll see Aquaman is no joke), Cyborg, or maybe Robin/Nightwing in some mini-plot involving Batman leaving him. I know some out there probably enjoyed this, but I was not one of them.

Who would have expected that something like The Lego Movie would be such an enjoyable film, let alone be as successful as it turned out to be? I know I didn’t, but after watching this tonight, I was pleasantly surprised. All the praise and hype that has been hoisted on this picture is well-deserved. I do wonder what it would have been like had they used stop-motion Legos as opposed to CGI, but that’s a personal preference. So, what did I think of this film? Well, there is a song in the film that will be stuck in your head once you hear it and sums up everything perfectly, “Everything is Awesome.”

5 out of 5 stars

Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Superhero Films with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2014 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 1988, following his mother’s death, a young Peter Quill is abducted from Earth by the Ravagers, a group of space pirates led by Yondu Udonta. Twenty-six years later on the planet Morag, Quill steals an orb only to be intercepted by Korath, a subordinate to the fanatical Kree, Ronan. Although Quill escapes with the orb, Yondu discovers his theft and issues a bounty for his capture while Ronan sends the assassin Gamora after the orb.

When Quill attempts to sell the orb on the Nova Corps home world Xandar, Gamora ambushes him and steals it. A fight ensues, drawing in a pair of bounty hunters: the genetically engineered raccoon Rocket, and the tree-like humanoid Groot. The Nova Corps arrives and arrests the group, imprisoning them in the Kyln. A powerful inmate, Drax, attempts to kill Gamora due to her association with Ronan, who killed his family. Quill dissuades him by saying that Gamora can bring Ronan to him. Gamora reveals that she has betrayed Ronan, unwilling to let him use the orb’s power to destroy entire planets such as Xandar. Learning that Gamora has a buyer for the orb, Rocket, Quill, Groot, and Gamora work together to escape the Kyln.

Elsewhere, Ronan meets with the titan Thanos to discuss his daughter Gamora’s betrayal and the loss of the orb. Accompanied by Drax, Quill’s group escapes the Kyln in his ship—the Milano—and flee to Knowhere, a remote criminal outpost in space built in the giant severed-head of a celestial. A drunken Drax summons Ronan, while the rest of the group meet Gamora’s contact, Taneleer Tivan. Tivan opens the orb, revealing an Infinity Stone, an item of immeasurable power that destroys all but the most powerful beings who wield it. Suddenly, Tivan’s tormented assistant grabs the Stone, triggering an explosion that engulfs his collection.

Ronan arrives and easily defeats Drax, while the others flee by ship, pursued by Ronan’s followers and Gamora’s sister Nebula. Nebula destroys Gamora’s ship, leaving her floating in space, and Ronan’s forces leave with the sphere. Quill contacts Yondu before following Gamora into space, giving her his helmet to survive; Yondu arrives and retrieves the pair. Rocket, Drax, and Groot threaten to attack Yondu’s ship to rescue them, but Quill negotiates a truce by convincing Yondu that they can recover the orb. The group agrees that facing Ronan means certain death, but that they must stop him from using the Infinity Stone to destroy the galaxy. On Ronan’s ship, the Dark Aster, Ronan embeds the Stone in his warhammer, taking its power for himself. He contacts Thanos, threatening to kill him after the destruction of Xandar; hateful of her adopted father, Nebula allies with Ronan.

On Xandar, the Dark Aster is confronted by Yondu’s fleet, the Nova Corps, and Quill’s group, which breaches the Dark Aster. Ronan uses his empowered warhammer to destroy the Nova Corps fleet. Drax kills Korath, and Gamora defeats Nebula (who escapes) and unlocks Ronan’s chambers, but the group finds themselves outmatched by his power until Rocket crashes the Milano through the Dark Aster and into Ronan. The damaged Dark Aster crash lands on Xandar, with Groot sacrificing himself to shield the group. Ronan emerges from the wreck and prepares to destroy Xandar, but Quill distracts him, allowing Drax and Rocket to destroy Ronan’s warhammer. Quill grabs the freed Stone, and with Gamora, Drax, and Rocket sharing its burden, they use it to destroy Ronan.

In the aftermath, Quill tricks Yondu into taking a container supposedly containing the Stone, then gives the real Stone to the Nova Corps. As the Ravagers leave Xandar, Yondu remarks that it turned out well that they did not deliver Quill to his father. Quill’s group, now known as the Guardians of the Galaxy, have their criminal records expunged, and Quill learns that he is only half-human, his father being part of an ancient, unknown species. Quill finally opens the last present he received from his mother; a cassette tape filled with her favorite songs. The Guardians leave in the rebuilt Milano along with a sapling cut from Groot.

In a post-credits scene, Tivan sits in his destroyed archive with two of his living exhibits: a canine cosmonaut and an anthropomorphic duck.

REVIEW:

A couple of years ago when Guardians of the Galaxy was announced, I along with everyone else scratched my head and said WTF?!? No one really knew anything about these characters. They aren’t the mainstream heroes such as Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Superman, etc. All that skepticism and mystery was thrown out the window when the first trailer was released during the Super Bowl. Ever since then, this has been one of the films people have been looking forward to the most, but does it live it up to the hype, or fall short of expectation, giving Marvel Studios its first real flop?

What is this about?

On the run from intergalactic warlord Ronan, hotshot space pilot Peter Quill unites a ragtag band of oddballs to form a team of unlikely heroes. Soon, the Guardians discover that they alone stand between Ronan and the galaxy’s destruction.

What did I like?

Pacing. I’m sure we’ve all seen movies like this that either start off with a band and then slow down or they start off so slow and never really get going until the climax, leaving you sitting there bored out of your mind for most of the film. Well, fret not, my friends, because this film manages to get in its moments of drama and then quickly move on to something else. The filmmakers know that the audience for this does not necessarily wan to sit through all that, so they move it along at a quick pace and don’t look back.

Music. When the first trailer featured Blue Swede’s “Hooked on a Feeling”, everyone wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was it a song they just used for the trailer? Is it part of the soundtrack? What was the deal? Well, as it turns out the 70s hits such as that and a few other well-known ditties are the soundtrack, but the music is also incorporated into the storyline through a tragic backstory of Peter Quill, played by Chris Pratt. I’ve got to give the film credit, because that was an ingenious way to incorporate such a random group of songs in a space flick. Also, the use of a Walkman and a tape deck, which kids of today surely have no idea what those are, was a nice nod to those of use who grew up listening to those things much the same way as young Quill.

Characters. With this property, more than any other up to this point in the Marvel Universe, the characters had to be developed, fleshed out, and made accessible to a public that knows little to nothing about them. I would say that this was done successfully. Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord is basically what you would expect Han Solo’s son to be. Gamora, for all my hatred of waif thin Zoe Saldana, is the assassin with a heart that I believe she is meant to be. Drax takes everything literally. As it is explained, he comes from a race of people who don’t know metaphors, which makes for some interesting comedic moments. Yes, comedic moments from Dave Bautista. Who’d have thunk that?!? Groot is the loveable tree and bodyguard for Rocket. Ah, Rocket, the show stealing raccoon! First off, you would never guess that was Bradley Cooper doing his voice. Second, he provides not only some of the best comedic lines in the film, but also, while explaining things to Quill and Gamora, explains why things are the way they are, without the film having to stop and do so.

Let there be light! Apparently, over at DC they believe every character they have has to be dark and brooding, because that is the formula that worked for The Dark Knight trilogy. The only exception appears to be this new Flash show that is coming this fall. Marvel, on the other hand, knows not only how to balance the light and the dark, but also create various genres of films. Take for instance, Captain America: The Winter Soldier. That was darker than its predecessor and also a different genre, as it delved more into the spy racket. This film takes us into space and leaves every bit of darkness behind. I, for one, am ever so grateful for that. Enough with the dark comic book films! Let’s have some fun! Which is the formula this flick uses successfully. Hopefully the start of a new trend towards the light!

What didn’t I like?

Sacrifice. For one of the main characters to sacrifice themselves to save the rest of the team is nothing new. However, I am starting to see a trend in superhero films where they kill off one of said main characters as a way to give motivation to the rest of the group. Now, this wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t feel it had been done to death. I can’t remember exactly where I’ve seen this plot point before, but I know I have. The sacrifice that was made here was emotional, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not so sure it was necessary.

Nova corps. One of the major issues people had with Green Lantern is that we didn’t see enough of the other members of the Corps. Well, Marvel’s equivalent to the Green Lanterns is the Nova Corps. While these aren’t as a popular or varied as the GLs, they do each have their own personalities and I think it would have been nice, since they included them, to get some more insight into at least one or two of them. Maybe even introduce or hint at the one that would go on to be Nova on Earth (the one being used currently in the animated series, Ultimate Spider-Man)

Ronan. Going into this, I heard all the talk about how Ronan wasn’t that great of a villain and how Marvel needs to step up the villain game, blah, blah, blah. Well, my take on it is that Ronan is who Ronan is supposed to be, from what I know of him. Lee Pace does a respectable job with him, maybe not the best, but far from the worst. However, as one review I read/listened to said, “we see Thanos and geek out over knowing that a film is coming where he is the big bad, which makes Ronan one of the bosses that has to be beaten along the way.” I like that analogy, because it sum it up very nicely. If you played the Mega Man games, think of it this way, Thanos is Dr. Wily, Loki and Ronan are two of the bosses that had to be taken out before you can get to him. If not for Thanos, though, Ronan would have been more menacing, I believe. Had they just held him off until later in the film, or let him just be a hologram, a la The Emperor in The Empire Strikes Back, then it probably would have worked.

Well, I wasn’t able to go see Guardians of the Galaxy when it was released because I just didn’t have the time. This weekend, I just couldn’t get up the energy to drive across town and go to the theater. However, this has been the perfect birthday movie for me. Everything I want is in here, action, sci-fi, talking animals, comedy, great music, space. The only thing missing is some retro stuff, but I’ll get to that before the week is over. For me, this film has a couple of flaws that can be overlooked, but few that are enough to make this a bad film. The only thing that I might consider changing is switching Zoe Saldana and Karen Gillian’s characters (before she shaved her head…such a shame to lose those luscious red locks). I will definitely be getting this when it is released to DVD/Blu-Ray. Does that mean I recommend it? Emphatically so! You need to stop what you are doing and go see this right now!

5 out of 5 stars

side note…there is a post credits scene, but I have chosen not to discuss it as I don’t believe it is meant to be anything more than an inside joke to true Marvel fans that are familiar with all of their properties. however, I will say that the previous design of that character might have looked better, in my opinion.

Movie 43

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2013 by Mystery Man

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film is composed of multiple comedy shorts presented through an overarching segment titled “The Pitch”, in which Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid), a mad screenwriter, is attempting to pitch a script to film executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). After revealing several of the stories in his script, Wessler becomes agitated when Schraeder dismisses his outrageous ideas, and he pulls a gun on him and forces him to listen to multiple other stories before making Schraeder consult his manager, Bob Mone (Common), to purchase the film. When they do so, Mone’s condescending attitude toward Schraeder angers him to the point that, after agreeing to make the film “the biggest film since Howard the Duck”, he confronts Mone in the parking lot and tries to humiliate him. Wessler tries to calm Schraeder with more story ideas to no avail, and the segment ends with it being revealed that it is being shot by a camera crew as part of the movie, leading into the final segments.

Having recently moved, Anna and Sean have coffee with their new neighbors. The neighbors, Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) have a teenage son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), whom they have home-schooled. Anna and Sean begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and the numerous manners in which Robert and Samantha have replicated a high school environment within their home, going as far as hazing, bullying, and giving out detentions, are humorously revealed. They also throw high school parties and Samantha simulates Kevin’s “first kiss” with him. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha’s face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose to her, she reveals to him that she is a coprophiliac, and asks him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry (J.B. Smoove) and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event. Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the “most beautiful thing” she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal. (In the end credits, Julie and Doug are mistakenly re-named Vanessa and Jason by Rocky Russo, Jeremy Sosenko, Steve Carr, Peter Farrelly, and Charles B. Wessler).

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working a night shift at a local grocery store. His ex-girlfriend, Veronica (Emma Stone), comes through his line and the two begin arguing, which soon turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they humorously lament over their relationship; unbeknownst to them, Neil’s intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.

Robin (Justin Long) and his cohort Batman (Jason Sudeikis) are in Gotham City at a speed dating establishment seeking out a bomb threat by their arch nemesis, Penguin (John Hodgman). While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating—including Lois Lane (Uma Thurman) and Supergirl (Kristen Bell)—Batman encounters his ex, Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb), and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler (Will Carlough) in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed “her” moments before unveiling. (Early during production, this sketch was formerly titled “Robin’s Big Speed Date”.)

A faux-PSA about kids stuck in machines and how adults’ criticism of these particular machines affect the feelings of the children stuck inside the machines. This commercial was paid for by the society for the prevention of cruelty to children inside machines.

A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the “iBabe”, which is a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss (Richard Gere), listens to his various workers (Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi, and Jack McBrayer) argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is dismembering the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasise the dangers of the product via its new commercials.

Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (Chloë Grace Moretz) are watching television after school at Nathan’s house as their first “middle school” date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it, and when Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death, causing a debacle, which would later have Nathan and Amanda’s fathers (Patrick Warburton and Matt Walsh) involved.

Another faux-commercial; this time it now involves two women and Tampax as the two women are swimming in an ocean and a shark suddenly appears and graphically eats one of the women.

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his roommate Brian (Seann William Scott) as a birthday present. After tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he give them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy (Esti Ginzburg) who performs fellatio for gold coins.

Donald (Stephen Merchant) and Emily (Halle Berry) are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired with typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man’s buttocks, and he follows with daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy’s cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and tattoos, and humiliate themselves.

Set in 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) is lecturing his basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by Coach Jackson about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably and rejoices in a single point they earn.

Amy (Elizabeth Banks) worries that her boyfriend Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, Beezel (an animated cartoon), is coming between their relationship. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but Anson only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. Beezel attacks her and violently urinates on her. Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn’t get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, Anson agrees to find a new home for him. That night, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love from a closet (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear). The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to shoot her to death with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house. When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel’s motives. Beezel acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs Beezel, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.

REVIEW:

Movie 43 is a film that I have yet to read a good review about. Against my better judgment, though, I decided to see what the masses were so incensed about. Surely this thing could not be that bad…or could it?

What is this about?

A series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.

What did I like?

Offensive. No, this film did not offend me, unless you consider how unfunny it was, but there is a disclaimer at the beginning, and the directors were making the rounds before it was released saying that the reason they made this picture was to offend and shock audiences. Judging by the vitriol people have been spitting out regarding this film, I would say they succeeded.

Cohesive. Unlike Putney Swope, a film that also has random sketches interspersed amongst the “plot”, this one actually keeps everything tied together. As a matter of fact, the plot involving a guy who wants to get the horrible movie, which we are watching, made could very well be the best part of the entire flick.

What didn’t I like?

Fire the agents. I really have to wonder what the agents of such big stars as Kate Winslet, Halle Berry, Richard Gere, and fresh off his Oscar worthy performance in Les Miserables, Hugh Jackman, amongst others that have no business being in a film this lowbrow. I don’t particularly care to say that actors are too good for a film, but they were. For goodness sakes, Jackman was playing a guy with testicles on his neck!!!!

*SIGH*.  I was talking to a friend of mine a few minutes ago, and he summed this film up very well, it is like a movie version of current Saturday Night Live. There are moments that are funny, but they are so few and far between, that you barely even notice them, or care. The rest of the sketches and whatnot just exist for the point of being gross, offensive, or filler.

Some media outlets have been trying to compare Movie 43 so such comedy sketch classics as Kentucky Fried Movie and The Groove Tube, among others, but it doesn’t come anywhere near the quality of those. This is one of those films that I am stretching to fins something good to say about, so it is best that you avoid it like the plague. I’ve suffered enough for all of us!

1 1/2 out of 5 stars