Archive for James Corden

Trolls

Posted in Movie Reviews, Animation, Family with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2017 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Inspired by the beloved troll dolls that have entertained kids for decades, this animated tale follows the always-happy Princess Poppy and her grouchy survivalist companion Branch as they embark on a journey that takes them into an unfamiliar world.

What people are saying:

“combines the barely-there characterization and irritating cutesiness of The Smurfs and Jelly Jamm with the hideous character design and awful pop covers of Strange Magic” 3 stars

“”Trolls” combines dreadful kindergarten humor (one troll poops cupcakes) with a feeble plot, much padded with high-fructose-corn-syrup versions of pop and R&B classics.” 1 1/2 stars

“Cute and colorful with some great voice work from an all-star cast and some of the dialogue is definitely geared towards the adults in the audience. The synthesized music gets a bit cloying after a while and the nod to Cinderella is…well…what it is. As it goes it’s decent family entertainment” 3 1/2 stars

“What a perfect example of this stupid generation I’m apart of. All the millionnials who don’t know how to do anything useful and they think as long as their happy life is good when there’s so much more to it than that.
Reminds me of all the people I hate.” 1 1/2 stars

“Wow, I was not expecting this to be this good. It’s bright, colorful, vivid, trippy, and the songs chosen for the musical numbers (That’s right, this is a musical featuring mostly 20th-21st century pop hits plus some original songs as well.) are fantastic. The story is pretty simple, and the whole thing kind of reminds me of a 90’s Saturday morning cartoon updated for the modern day. Anna Kendrick was my favorite voice actor here, and is bubbly, cute and adorable. Trolls is a painless, enjoyable film” 3 stars

Vampire Killers

Posted in Comedy, Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on October 27, 2010 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

After Jimmy (Matthew Horne) is dumped by his girlfriend and Fletch (James Corden) is fired from his job as a clown, they decide to escape their woes and hike to a remote village they find on an old map. As they arrive at a pub in the village, with Jimmy upset about Fletch destroying his phone, they see a number of attractive foreign female history students leaving. Hoping to find more beautiful women inside, they are greeted by a morose crowd of men and approached by a seemingly crazed vicar (Paul McGann) who believes Jimmy is a long lost descendant of a local vampire slayer. As the barman offers the two men free ale as an apology for the vicar, they learn the students they saw earlier are going to a cottage – where they are to stay the night. Jimmy and Fletch pursue the students’ bus, catching up to it as the engine has broken down, and are introduced to four girls (Heidi, Lotte, Anke and Trudi). They are invited to join a party on the bus.

The group arrives at their destination, only to learn that a curse rests over the village and that every female child turns into a lesbian vampire on her eighteenth birthday. There is an old legend stating that the Vampire Queen, Carmilla, descended on the village, killed its menfolk and seduced its women to her evil. When the ruler of the land, Baron Wolfgang Mclaren (Jimmy’s great ancestor) returned from the Crusades, he discovered one of the women corrupted by Carmilla was his wife, Eva. The baron forged a sacred sword, then defeated Carmilla, but before dying Carmilla cursed the village, adding that when the blood of the last of Mclaren’s bloodline mixed with a virgin girl’s blood, Carmilla would be resurrected.

Fletch and Jimmy spend the night with the women. Heidi, Anke and Trudi are turned into vampires. After Lotte insists that the others try to find her missing friends, they witness Trudi being turned. Eva, Carmilla’s mistress, tries to draw Lotte to her growing clan of lesbian vampires. The trio runs back into the cottage after killing Heidi and Anke, and barricade themselves in after the vampires destroy the bus. Judi arrives at the door and Jimmy, not ready to give up on the relationship, takes her into the bedroom. Lotte reveals to Fletch that she is a virgin and wants to sleep with Jimmy.

At the church, the Vicar researches the vampire slayer who killed Carmilla, before arming himself and setting off to find Jimmy. Judi reveals herself to be a vampire, and after a struggle Fletch and Jimmy kill her. The vampires approach the cottage and Jimmy inadvertently invites them in. Eva discovers that Jimmy is the descendant of the baron who killed Carmilla and that Lotte is a virgin and kidnaps them.

The Vicar saves Fletch from Trudi and tells Fletch the truth about the village and Jimmy’s identity. They go after Jimmy and Lotte in the Vicar’s crucifix-covered car. As the vampires prepare to sacrifice Lotte and Jimmy, Fletch and the Vicar try to recover the sword of Daeldo, the sword that killed Carmilla, from the baron’s tomb. While Fletch works to open the tomb, the Vicar checks on his daughter Rebecca, but does not notice that she has been turned. Rebecca attempts to seduce Fletch, who does not know what she is. When she attacks him, she is inadvertently impaled on the sword. Fletch decides not to tell the Vicar of his daughter’s death.

At Carmilla’s tomb, Lotte reveals her love for Jimmy. The vampires begin draining the two of their blood to resurrect Carmilla. With the sword, Fletch and the Vicar drive to Carmilla’s tomb. When they enter the woods they bring various weapons, but forget the sword. Despite not having the sword, the pair reach Jimmy and Lotte. The Vicar releases them, but not before enough blood gathers to resurrect Carmilla. He sacrifices himself so the others can get back to the car and the sword. Eva separates Lotte from the men, attacking and seducing her. Lotte fights back while Fletch and Jimmy fetch weapons. Lotte kills Eva with her cross necklace, infuriating Carmilla. Fletch tries to kill Carmilla before Lotte is turned, but is captured himself. Jimmy saves them by hurling the sword at Carmilla, piercing her heart and destroying her for good. With the curse lifted, the three survivors decide to continue ridding the world of evil.

The film ends with the shot of a “Gay Werewolf” howling before the full moon, suggesting a sequel.

REVIEW:

 Ok…let’s get one thing out of the way…how can a film with the original (British) title Lesbian Vampire Killers be such a dud in the T & A department.

I mean, I wasn’t expecting this thing to turn out to be some sort of soft core porn or anything, but I was at least expecting some kind of lesbionic something or other, and didn’t get it.

I don’t understand how this thing was rated R when there isn’t really anything bad. Sure, there is some language, bt that’s about it. They said there was nudity, but I didn’t see it, except for maybe 1 scene, and that wasn’t enough to garner an R, in my opinion.

That wasn’t the only problem I had with this flick. When the vampires were killed, stabbed, or what-have-you, they had this white goop instead of regular blood. I’m sure there is some reason for this, but I didn’t get it. In the back of my mind, I was thinking this was some kind of…shall we say, male fluids…that they were filled with.

As bad as this film is, and trust me on the fact that it is bad, there are some good things. For instance, the opening segment and initial plot are awesome. It is a shame that they dropped the ball afterwards, casing this crash and burn.

The women are quite hot, even if the closest they came to lesbianism on-screen were some kissing and petting.

The comedy aspect of this flick wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t as funny as it could/should have been.

So, what do I ultimately think about Vampire Killers? Well, I would say that this thing isn’t worth your time. The story about Carmilla, the vampire queen is better told in many other films, and if you just want to see lesbian vampires, I’m sure there are plenty of porns that use that as their “plot”, not to mention that in most vampire films, Dracula’s wives seem to have lesbian tendencies. My final verdict is this is better than other vampire spoof-type films such as Transylmania, but you’d do best to avoid this film if you can.

2 out of 5 stars