The Saint

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

At the Saint Ignatius Orphanage, a rebellious boy named John Rossi refers to himself as “Simon Templar” and leads a group of fellow orphans as they attempt to run away to escape their harsh treatment. When Simon is caught by the head priest, he witnesses the tragic death of a girl he had taken a liking to when she accidentally falls from a balcony.

As an adult, Simon (Val Kilmer)—now a professional thief dubbed “The Saint” for using the names of Catholic saints as aliases—steals a valuable microchip belonging to a Russian oil company. Simon stages the burglary during a political rally held for the company’s owner, Ivan Tretiak (Rade Šerbedžija). Tretiak is a former Communist party boss and a billionaire oil and gas oligarch that is rallying support against the Russian President. Simon is caught in the act by Tretiak’s son Ilya (Valery Nikolaev) but escapes with the microchip. After learning of the heist, Tretiak contacts Simon and hires him to steal a revolutionary cold fusion formula discovered by American electrochemist Emma Russell (Elisabeth Shue). He wishes to acquire Emma’s formula—which creates clean, inexpensive energy—so he can monopolize the energy market during a severe oil shortage in Russia.

Using the alias “Thomas More,” Simon poses as an Afrikaner and steals the formula after having a one night stand with Emma. Tretiak learns Emma’s formula is incomplete and orders his henchmen, led by his son Ilya, to kill Simon and kidnap Emma in order to obtain the remaining information. Heartbroken, Emma reports the theft to Inspector Teal (Alun Armstrong) and Inspector Rabineau (Charlotte Cornwell) of Scotland Yard, who inform her Simon is a wanted international thief. Emma tracks down Simon to a hotel in Moscow and confronts him about the theft and his betrayal. The Russian police, loyal to Tretiak, arrest Simon and Emma. However, they manage to escape from the police van as they are being brought to Tretiak’s mansion.

As they flee through the suburbs, Simon and Emma are helped by a prostitute and her family who shelter them in a hidden room in their home. Later, they meet “Frankie” (Irina Apeksimova), a fence who sells them the directions through an underground sewer system that lead to the American embassy. Simon and Emma exit the sewer tunnel only to find Ilya and his men waiting for them among a gathering of protestors outside the embassy’s front gates. Emma safely makes it to the embassy for political asylum, while Simon allows himself to be caught by Ilya as a distraction. He escapes after rigging a car bomb that severely burns Ilya.

Simon plants a listening device in Tretiak’s office and learns he plans to perform a coup d’état by selling the cold fusion formula to Russian President Karpov to frame him for wasting billions on useless technology. Tretiak then plans to use the political fallout to install himself as President. Emma finishes the equations to complete the formula, and Simon delivers the information to Tretiak’s physicist, Dr. Lev Botkin (Henry Goodman), who builds an apparatus which proves the formula works. Simon infiltrates the President’s Kremlin residence and informs him of Tretiak’s conspiracy just before Tretiak loyalists detain him. In front of a massive gathering in Red Square, Tretiak makes public accusations against President Karpov, but when the cold fusion reactor is successfully initiated, Tretiak is exposed as a fraud and arrested. He is also revealed to have caused the heating oil shortage in Moscow by illegally stockpiling vast amounts of heating oil underneath his mansion.

Sometime later, at a news conference at the University of Oxford, Emma presents her cold fusion formula to the world. Simon attends the conference in disguise and once again avoids being captured by Inspectors Teal and Rabineau when they spot him in the crowd. As he drives away, he listens to a news radio broadcast (voiced by Roger Moore) reporting that $3 billion was recently donated to the Red Cross, Salvation Army and the United Nations Children’s Fund. It is implied that Simon, who had access to Tretiak’s accounts, donated the money anonymously. Furthermore, a non-profit foundation led by Dr. Botkin is being established to develop the cold fusion technology.

REVIEW:

This weekend a TV spy show from yesteryear will be jumping to the big screen with The Man from U.N.C.L.E. This is not the first time an old show has made such a jump. Sometimes these films work and sometimes they don’t. Let’s find out what side The Saint fall on, shall we?

What is this about?

Master thief Simon Templar (Val Kilmer) eludes his pursuers by assuming the names of obscure saints. When a Russian politician (Rade Serbedzija) hires Templar to steal the formula for cold fusion, he falls in love with Emma Russell (Elisabeth Shue), the frail Oxford scientist who has unlocked the process’ secret. Back in Moscow, Templar must decide whether to betray his new love or the madman who’s paying him millions.

What did I like?

Change it up. Many spy movies seem to forget the art of disguise, a technique that our titular hero uses as his forte. These days we may have forgotten that Val Kilmer is quite the charming actor, but back in the late 80s and 90s he was on top of the world. Kilmer switches into at least 10 different costumes, maybe more, and each is a character of their own. Why is this so special when comedians do it all the time? Just that, Kilmer isn’t a comedian, so for him to do this and create unique character shows some actual acting chops that have been grossly underutilized.

Science-y stuff. Most of the time when films start talking about science related mumbo jumbo, that is what it sounds like to the general audience, mumbo jumbo. Knowing that very few people who would be going in to watch this film are going to be in possession of or working on some sort of higher level science degree, the explanation of cold fusion was kept pretty simple. For the benefit of those that do want that challenge, they could just read the formulas.

Homage. Simon Templar is a character that has existed since the 1930s, appearing in all forms of media. At one time he was even portrayed by the great Vincent Price. A nice little touch that the filmmakers added in is the voice of Roger Moore, who has played the world’s greatest spy, James Bond. That’s not all, though. In the 60s, Moore was the titular character in a 60s television series, so it was a nice little touch to bring him in.

What didn’t I like?

Death and consequences. In the first scenes of the film, we get a bit of a background on young Simon Templar, complete with tragedy as the young girl he apparently fancied fell to her death as they were all trying to escape Catholic school. Two things bother me about this. First, after seeing her death, we fast forward to the present and nothing is ever said about what happened as a result or about his training. Second, around the film’s climax Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue are trying to escape the Russian mobsters. One of the escape routes is to jump off the roof. There is a quick flash of the dead little girl, implying that there is some repressed trauma there, but the film never does anything with it, which seems like such a waste.

Police. I feel like I should say something about the bumbling cops, but the fact is they weren’t really bumbling. They were smart enough to deduce that Templar was using disguises, so there is that. My issue with them is that they seemed unnecessary. If anything, they could have showed up as comic relief. The one time they did have something worthwhile to do was when Elisabeth Shue came to them to report her missing/stolen formula cards. I may be making too big a deal out of this though. I’m not the biggest fan of the police.

Cold blooded. Maybe it is the heat down here getting to me (we have been under a heat advisory since Monday), but I really have to question how you can not have enough resources to keep your people, who live in a cold climate, warm during the winter. Even our government, as corrupt and money hungry as they may be, would find a way to keep most people warm during the winter, because if they lose people, they lose money and votes, and that’s all that matters, right? I just don’t get how this Russian president let things get so dire before he even attempted to do anything.

Final verdict on The Saint? It fell short of my expectations. I think I was expecting something more along the lines of The Shadow but instead I got a 2nd or 3rd rate Bond rip-off. That said, there are enjoyable moments in here, Kilmer and Shue turn in great performances, and the writing isn’t too bad. Still, if you ask me to recommend it, I don’t believe I can do that. Better to just watch one of the 007 films.

2 3/4 out of 5 stars

Mighty Joe Young

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Jill Young is seen as a child at the beginning of the film when she witnesses the death of her mother, Ruth Young (Linda Purl) and the mother of Joe, an infant mountain gorilla, at the hands of poachers led by Andrei Strasser (Rade Šerbedžija). Strasser loses his right thumb and trigger finger to Joe, and swears revenge on the gorilla for the damage. Before she dies, Ruth tells Jill to take care of Joe, to which Jill agrees. 12 years later, Jill has raised Joe (who, because of a rare genetic anomaly, has now grown to the size of 16 1/2-feet (5 meters) and weighs 2,200 pounds (1,000 kilograms); as a result, the other gorillas won’t accept him and both are now living in relative peace until a wildlife refuge director, Gregg O’Hara (Bill Paxton), convinces Jill that they would be safer from poachers if they relocate to the United States.

The trio goes to Hollywood, Los Angeles, California and win the hearts of the refuge staff. There, Jill is approached by Strasser, who is now running a fake animal preserve while really selling animal organs off on the black market – who has seen a news report about Joe and is now eager for revenge. At first Jill fails to recognize Strasser as the poacher who killed both her mother and Joe’s, since Strasser hides his right hand in his coat pocket. Strasser tries to persuade Jill that Joe would be better off in his wildlife refuge back in Africa. Later, during a gala, Strasser’s henchman, Garth (Peter Firth), uses a poacher’s noisemaker to scare Joe into a frenzy. Joe trashes the gala, recognizes Strasser and tries to attack him. Joe is then captured and placed in a concrete bunker. Before their departure, Gregg has fallen in love with Jill and he kisses her goodbye.

When Jill learns that Joe may be euthanized, she decides to take Strasser’s offer. She and the refuge staff smuggle Joe out in a truck. On the way to the airport, Jill notices the half-glove covering Strasser’s missing fingers, and realizes who he really is. She briefly fights with Garth and Strasser, then jumps from the truck and onto Hollywood Boulevard, leading to the first of several automobile accidents. Joe sees her and rocks the truck over onto its side and escapes. Meanwhile, Gregg has realized that Strasser is a poacher and goes after both Jill and Joe. He finds Jill, who reveals to Gregg that Strasser killed her mother and plans to kill Joe. They locate Joe at a carnival where he is playfully wreaking havoc. Strasser arrives and attempts to shoot Jill. But Garth pushes Strasser’s gun away from Jill, causing him to fire at a spotlight, which subsequently starts a fire and causes the Ferris wheel to break down. Realizing how ruthless Strasser truly is, Garth says that he quits, but Strasser knocks Garth unconscious with his gun. Strasser eventually confronts Jill and attempts to kill her, but Joe sneaks up behind them and tosses Strasser into the air, where he grips onto electrical wires over a transformer. Short two fingers on the hand holding the wire as he lost his thumb and trigger finger, as previously mentioned, Strasser is electrocuted to death when his grip fails and he falls into the transformer, leaving only the half-glove hanging from the wiring. Later, at the Santa Monica Pier, Joe tries to save a child from atop the burning wheel but the fire burns it down and Joe and the child fall to earth where Joe is crushed beneath the wheel but the child is unharmed. Joe apparently dies from his wounds, but is later shown to have survived. The young boy Joe saved donates money to Jill after hearing her say how they’d need money to buy a new home for Joe and the people who witnessed the whole accident follow suit.

Joe is returned to Africa where Jill opens the “Joe Young Preserve.” In the final scene Joe runs off into the distance, seemingly enjoying his new found freedom

REVIEW:

Sakes alive, this has been a week that makes you wonder what is wrong with people in the world, right? First we have a young man get shot by a police officer which, based on the different races, has exploded into protests. I turn on the television and I swear I’m looking at some historical show about what went on in the 60s. Also, there was a beheading of a journalist, by some radical extremists. Geez, man, can it get any worse than this? I really do wonder. So, how about we go with something extremely light tonight, Mighty Joe Young.

What is this about?

In a remake of the 1949 classic, director Ron Underwood’s Oscar-nominated adventure follows Gregg O’Hara’s quest to capture a two-ton African gorilla and transport him to a California reserve far from poachers.

What did I like?

Give good face. Primates are known to have very human-like facial expressions at times. Joe takes that to a whole new level, as his expressions are actually more expressive than some of the humans. Not only that, these looks come at just the right time as to convey just the right emotion at the time. Whether Joe is CG, animatronic, or a mixture of both, these emotions are perhaps the best thing about him.

Not the bad guy. Bill Paxton has made a career out of being a character actor who has a resume filled with playing the villain. Most recently, he was seen on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as the head of the Hydra infiltration, otherwise known as the Clairvoyant. What a change it is to see him in this role, where he is not that bad guy, but actually is the hero who gets the girl in the end. As good as he is at being the bad guy, had he taken more roles like this, perhaps he could be a leading man today. I’m just sayin’!

King Kong ain’t got… Although this is a remake of a film of the same name from the 30s or 40s, I can’t help but believe it exists only as a watered down, family version of King Kong. All the elements are there, giant ape, wildlife preserve, poachers, climbing tall building in the city, etc. However, the difference is in Joe’s personality, which is very playful, something that I don’t believe we ever saw from King Kong. That slight change makes a huge difference, believe it or not.

What didn’t I like?

Twirl the moustache. Often, I will hear critics refer to villains as “cartoony” or the “twirl the moustache” kind. Well, the villain here is one that I feel belongs in that category. He has everything that you ask for in a cartoon villain. Mysterious European accent, quest for revenge because of something that happened in his younger days, intriguing facial hair…all check. The only thing missing was the black cape and top hat!

We should care, because? As expressive as Joe’s facial expressions were, I had a hard time finding a reason that we as an audience should care whether he lives or dies. There was no connection between him and us, so by the time the ferris wheel scene comes and Joe falls off, it is hard to feel anything for him. Same goes for when he goes on his rampages. Granted, this may just be me and my black hole for a heart, but I felt nothing. He was just a big ape, honestly.

Editing. I have an issue with the herky jerking editing that was done in this film. In one scene, everyone is in Africa, the next they’re on the road to Hollywood. Nothing wrong with that per se, but it almost felt like one of those Family Guy cutaways, where something happens and then the next scene is totally different setting. It seems that Disney was going more for the serious filmmaking side of things with this film, as opposed to something like George of the Jungle, which was a live action cartoon. Better editing would have helped that situation.

Apparently, the little woman loved Mighty Joe Young when it came out, so I have a feeling this will not be the last time I see it, and that’s okay. Truth be told, I didn’t find this to be a horrible film. Some scenes are quite emotional, there’s some action, romance, comedy, and a villainous poaching plot. By all means this should be a great film, but something is hindering it from making that step. I cannot put my finger on it, but I think it might be related to the original, which I will eventually get around to watching. So, do I recommend this? Yes, it is a quality family film that can be enjoyed by all without worries of language, sexual situations, or violence. Enjoy!

4 out of 5 stars

Taken 2

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

After the deaths of Albanian mobsters, the cousins of the criminals whom Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) killed while searching for his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), leave Paris, France and return to their hometown of Tropojë, Albania, for the dead men’s funeral. During the ceremony, Murad (Rade Šerbedžija), the employer of the men and father of Marko, whom Bryan killed by electrocution, states that they will find Bryan to avenge the deaths of their loved ones, no matter what the cost.

Kim and her mother Lenore (Famke Janssen), who is currently having relationship problems with her husband, surprise Bryan by joining him on his trip to Istanbul, Turkey where he is having a business vacation after a work assignment for the CIA. While Kim remains at the hotel, Lenore and Bryan are being followed by Murad’s men on the streets of Istanbul, but Bryan suspects a tail. The men capture Lenore, forcing Bryan to surrender, but before he does he calls Kim and warns her about the men, allowing her to escape through the hotel balcony, and she escapes through the rooftops of Istanbul, but Bryan is captured.

Bryan wakes with his hands tied to a pole in a dark room. Using a communications device that he has hidden in his sock, Bryan calls Kim, instructing her to go to the U.S Embassy and tell them what happened, but she begs for a chance to help him and Lenore. Under Bryan’s guidance, she opens up his weaponry suitcase and throws a live grenade out of the window. Bryan uses the time it takes for the sound of the explosion to reach him in order to deduce his location.

He then has her take a gun and two more grenades and travel towards his location via the rooftops, while he frees himself from his restraints and sends steam up a chimney to mark his location. Kim tosses the gun down the chimney and Bryan uses it to escape. Now on the run, they are chased by Murad’s men. They steal a cab and are chased through the streets. Bryan has Kim commandeer the car and while she drives away, he shoots the assailants, escaping.

Bryan later returns to the building but Lenore has already been moved. Leaving Kim at the U.S embassy, he follows the route to Murad’s safehouse he memorized from his abduction. After killing two men, he confronts Murad, who insists that his two remaining sons will seek revenge if Bryan kills him. Murad agrees to call off his vendetta in exchange for Bryan letting him live. Bryan drops his gun and walks away, but Murad seizes it and tries to shoot Bryan only to discover that Bryan has removed the bullets. Knowing that Murad would never abide by a truce, Bryan kills him.

Three weeks later, the Mills family eats at a diner back home to celebrate Kim’s passing her driving test. They are joined, much to Bryan’s surprise, by Kim’s kind boyfriend Jamie, and Kim jokingly asks her overprotective father not to shoot him nor restrain him.

REVIEW:

Somewhere along the way, Liam Neeson went and become a huge action star, and at his age, to boot! Taken 2 further cements its legacy as a go to guy for action films, but does it live up to the hype that preceded it?

What is this about?

Retired special ops agent Bryan Mills and his ex-wife are abducted in Istanbul in a bid to avenge the deaths of his daughter Kim’s kidnappers. This time, it’s Kim who helps to free her parents — unleashing Bryan to turn the tables on his abductors.

What did I like?

Length. Action movies these days seem to forget that they’re audiences are predominantly the kind that aren’t necessarily wanting to see a long, drawn-out, character-driven film. We prefer to get a bit of an intro, then get right down to it. Perhaps that is why, despite what the critics would like, films like The Expendables worked. Aside from being a throwback to the 80s, they skipped all that useless drama and got right to the meat of what we want to see. This film does that, as well, but also had a runtime of just over 90 minutes.

Don’t forget. In case you forgot, Neeson racked up quite the body count in his quest to get his daughter back in the original Taken. Tying the films together, the opening scenes show each one of these men being put in the ground, almost like something you would see in a western. Some people thought this was a bit too much for a PG-13, but I liked it.

Ladies. In the previous film, Jensen and Grace weren’t given much to do. As a matter of fact, Jensen was more of a bitch and Grace was the victim. Somehow, in the time between the two films, things were retconned and Jensen all of a sudden isn’t so hateful towards Neeson’s character and, by the nature of the plot, Grace is no longer the victim, but more of a the hero.

What didn’t I like?

Looks, but not talent. Maggie Grace is a gorgeous young woman but, just like many of her contemporaries in Hollywood today, her acting leaves much to be desired. I don’t know if it is necessarily this script, the way she was directed, her character, or what, but she comes off as having as much life in her as those leaves blowing outside my window right now.

Continuity. In the early scenes, Neeson is teaching Grace how to drive, something typical for a father/daughter. Next thing we know, he tracks her down at her boyfriend’s house so she can have her driving lesson. The tracking aside, as a driver, she isn’t that great. Fast forward to later in the film and she has to drive through Istanbul. How is it she is able to do this, when she couldn’t even parallel park earlier?

Human. A few reviews I’ve read of the latest Die Hard have said that Bruce Willis’ character is almost superhuman these days. In some ways, the same can be said from Neeson. No he doesn’t get blown halfway across town and mange to emerge without a scratch, but some of his feats just defy logic, even for the reality in which this is set in. The fact that this guy was just a normal man with a specific set of skills is what made him endearing to audiences. He can’t just go around doing impossible stunts and keep that mystique.

Null. This is a small thing, but how is it that the people in Turkey don’t notice a hot girl running around in a half-opened button down shirt, tight jeans (somehow she managed to find a pair that fit her perfectly in a men’s locker room), who is armed and throwing grenades all over the place? Is this a normal thing over there?

Taken 2 is a bit of a conundrum for me. On the one hand, it isn’t as good as its predecessor, but I have to wonder if that is because of the high expectations we all had for it, or because it really isn’t that great. Seeing as how I just recently re-watched Taken a couple of weeks ago, I can’t really say for sure. When I rewatch this at some point in the future, I’ll know for sure. I do think this is a film that is worth seeing, either way, although, like many reviewers, I think it suffers from the PG-13 rating. Check it out sometime!

4 out of 5 stars