Cat Run

PLOT:

The Andorran hooker and single mother Catalina “Cat” Rona is hired to participate in an orgy in Montenegro with other escorts and powerful men and the American Senator William Krebb. Something goes wrong with the politician and all the girls are murdered by the security of the host to avoid witnesses. However, Cat escapes and brings a hard disk drive with classified information with her. There is a manhunt for Cat and the cruel assassin Helen Bingham is hired to retrieve the HDD and kill Cat. Meanwhile, the Americans Julian Simms and Anthony Hester decide to open a detective agency to raise money. When they read in the newspaper that Cat is being chased, they decide to seek her out, expecting to receive a reward. However, they cross the path of Helen and they end protecting Cat from the killer. When Helen is betrayed by those who hired her, she decides to help Anthony, Julian, and Cat retrieve the HDD and their freedom.

REVIEW:

Well, I am finally getting around to Cat Run after quite a while of it just festering on my instant queue. After quite a few recommendations from friends and Netflix, I finally got the hint and hit play on this little known Paz Vega film. However, I have to pose the question, is there a reason that no one has ever heard of this flick?

What is this about?

A pair of private dicks find themselves caught up in a suspected government conspiracy when they take on an uncommon case: helping a high-class call girl fight off a sexy assassin who’s already torn her pimp to pieces.

What did I like?

Nothing is true, everything is permitted. Janet McTeer plays a cold-hearted, highly skilled assassin that is not to be messed with. Watch what she does to that pimp when in the early scenes involving her if you have any questions. When it comes to assassins, this is the kind that I like to see on film. She gets the job done and gets it done efficiently.

Not scared. A film like this seems tailor made to not be a violent adventure flick, but rather one of these adventure dramas that are very popular in many markets. Yes, this film follows that formula, but there is also some glorious bloody violent scenes, such as a guy getting his head blown off. I’m not one to generally gush over blood and gore, but sometimes its just what one wants to see, just not in the way horror films seem to be obsesses with doing these days.

My buddy. The buddy cops “stars” of this film, who have just started a detective agency to make money since the restaurant one of them came to Europe to open isn’t panning out. What I enjoyed was how the two of these guys served as a sort of avatar for the audience, giving us a balance of funny and nevish moments that are quite entertaining.

What didn’t I like?

Vega. The titular character, Cat, is played by the beautiful Paz Vega. One would think that she would be in nearly every scene, but that isn’t the case, as we get the two guys who are trying to solve their first case. Once they catch up to her, we get more, but it still doesn’t make up for the fact that Vega isn’t featured in the way the marketing for this film led us to believe.

Amputee. When D.L. Hughley appeared, I figured he was just going to be in that one scene, but it turns out that he was a somewhat major character. I believe he’s still doing stand-up, but one has to wonder how bad things are for him to take this role. The part itself was bad enough, but throw in the fact that he is an amputee (I believe he said there was accident that left him that way), and you are really left scratching your head.

Leading man. In direct to DVD films, there usually is a guy who happens to be the best audition, related to someone with connections, etc., but they aren’t good actors. Well, the leading man in this film, Scott Mechlowicz is just as bad as those guys, if not worse. The term wooden acting is tossed around like salad, but there is absolutely no charisma, life, or anything, really with this guy. How or why he was chosen to lead this picture is beyond me. Thanks goodness Alphonso McAuley was so over the top with his comic relief and made watching this guy bearable.

For all the excitement I had when I hit play on Cat Run this afternoon, it quickly dissipated as the film progressed. I was hoping for something to reach out and grab me, but it didn’t. As I sit here writing this review, the only thing I remember about this flick is that it starts with an orgy and is quite violent masterpiece. So, as you can imagine, I don’t recommend this film. Spend you time elsewhere.

2 3/4 out of 5 stars