Cooties

Posted in Horror, Independent, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

When a cafeteria food virus turns elementary school children into killer zombies, a group of misfit teachers must band together to escape the playground carnage. The film stars Elijah Wood (The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings), Rainn Wilson (“The Office”), and Alison Pill (“The Newsroom”) as teachers who fight to survive the mayhem while hilariously bickering in an uncomfortable love triangle on the worst Monday of their lives.

What people are saying:

“Just stupid! Elijah Wood must be hard-up for work to take this role. 10 year old kids (4th grade) using awful language. Gore abounds and the brief attempts at humor (it’s billed as a comedy) are so lame! I found no “sanving graces” in this film. The rental company (who do not allow their name to be used in “reviews”) said their “best guess” for my rating would be 3.2 stars. Not even close!” 1 star

“I had a lot of fun watching this movie. The jokes were funny, the scares were scary, and the gore was gory. Pretty much what it says on the tin, an altogether satisfying film.” 4 stars

“Fun premise, but dumbed-down script with very few laughs. I *hope* they were going for the look and feel of a 1980’s B-movie. What I liked were the zombie kids – pretty disturbing as a concept and the young actors are pretty creepy as a swarm of zombies. But the story of survival just keeps looping around on itself as the teachers try and find a way out and the ending is not satisfying at all….it just ends. Save for the presence of some good comedic character actors, this just felt rushed and cheap.” 2 stars

“As it stands cooties is neither scary nor funny. It’s a bad zombie movie as well with being a bad horror comedy. The movie has a good cast with a few somewhat entertaining performances, but the script is awful and the story goes nowhere. The Gore is over-the-top fake looking and ridiculous.” 1 1/2 stars

“This is watch it by your self late at night trying to fall asleep movie. Nothing really good or too bad about it. Has some funny parts but other times you wish it was more of a 40 minute single tv episode and have it get to the point.” 2 1/2 stars

Trailer Thursday 12/1

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on December 1, 2016 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

No fancy description…just remember what it was like to be…Home Alone

Escape from L.A.

Posted in Action/Adventure, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

The year is 2013 and Snake Plissken is back from Escape From New York. An earthquake has separated Los Angeles from the mainland. In the New Moral America, all citizens not conforming to the new laws (no smoking, no red meat, no Muslims in South Dakota) are deported to L.A., now a penal colony. The President’s daughter has stolen a doomsday device and has fled to L.A. It’s up to Snake Plissken to find the President’s daughter and retrieve the doomsday device before its too late.

What people are saying:

“A dreadful belated sequel to the entertaining Escape From New York. Perfectly epitomizes how Carpenter’s skills have eroded since his late ’70s, early ’80s heyday.” 2 1/2 stars

“It’s preposterous and there’s nothing particularly new that wasn’t introduced in the last one, Escape From L.A. is nonetheless an extremely fun and entertaining watch with plenty of social commentary strewn throughout.” 2 1/2 stars

“Set in a not too far dystopian future , this movie is a sequel to John Carpenter’s “Escape from New York.” Although not a very popular film, I actually liked it. I love the way movie gives you the real deal about politics and our society in a humorous and adventurous way. But at the same time, it is a warning of the totalitarian government that continues to rise. Despite bad special effects, the movie still delivers a lot of action and interesting characters.” 3 1/2 stars

“Pretty bad movie. It tries to be cheesy, B-movie entertainment, and it succeeds, except for the entertainment part. It’s too cheesy, the effects are not good, even for the time, the action is ok, and the performances are bland, especially Russell. One of the moments that proved this movie’s quality was when Russell and Fonda surfed a tsunami in downtown LA to chase a car.” 2 1/2 stars

“While not as gritty as “Escape From New York” this movie still manages to be very entertaining. It may be a tad bit campy in comparison and some parts feel like carbon copies from the first. There was even a point in the beginning when I checked to make sure I was Watching the right movie. This movie is still a good time and I definitely recommend a watch, especially if you enjoyed the first movie.” 3 stars

Unfinished Business

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

A hard-working small business owner (Vince Vaughn) and his two associates (Tom Wilkinson, Dave Franco) travel to Europe to close the most important deal of their lives. But what began as a routine business trip goes off the rails in every imaginable – and unimaginable – way, including unplanned stops at a massive sex fetish event and a global economic summit.

What people are saying:

“If you’re a female I can see why you would hate this movie. But from a male’s perspective I actually enjoyed it. It has plenty of dark humor, but I still managed to find myself laughing throughout the entire movie and the storyline kept me interested. There were even some parts of this movie that had me wishing I was there.” 3 stars

“It was a mediocre movie but it really had its moments. Dave Franco character being my favourite, Vince Vaughn did his usual to the best of his ability, with Wilkinson being a third wheel. Franco made this movie for me, otherwise its only slightly amusing.” 3 stars

“A few cheap laughs thru out the film. It’s one of those films that you really want to like, but reality sets in, you realize what being in denial is all about. The plot is cookie cutter Hollywood story, the story isn’t really all there. So at the very least, deliver some hearty character interaction, dervelopment, & turn your head gags. Sadly the characters are all one dimensional from start to finish. The funny moments are few, the back stories & growth are limited, & it goes on longer than it should have.” 2 stars

“Not a great movie. It seemed to be divided between business, partying, and bullying is bad. Vince Vaughn did fine, but not all the acting was great. For example, the evil female Chuck wasn’t very hate-able. The movie just seemed confused about what type of movie to be. Not recommended.” 2 1/2 stars

“Totally completely FLAT from beginning to end. There’s nothing worse than a comedy that repeats the same unfunny jokes over and over and over and over and over again. Very disappointing.” 1 star

Vacation

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Hoping to bring his family closer together and to recreate his childhood vacation for his own kids, an adult Rusty Griswold takes his wife and two sons on a cross-country road trip to Walley World. Needless to say, things don’t go quite as planned.

Trying to bond his family together and relive his childhood memories, Rusty Griswold takes his family to Walley World, an amusement park. On the way they face challenges, overcoming fears, and troubles with mischievous people. When his family admits that they never wanted to go, he starts to think his family thinks he’s a loser. Will they make it to Walley World or will the family separate?

Rusty Griswold takes his own family on a road trip to “Walley World” in order to spice things up with his wife and reconnect with his sons.

What people are saying:

“Surprisingly funny and at times charming.
As a huge fan of the 80’s films I was really not expecting much. But it’s not half bad. No it’s not great like the old ones . But good enough .” 2 stars

“It has some laugh out loud moments that are peppered throughout the film, but the majority of it needed to be polished by better writers. It wasn’t terrible, but it could have been so much better.” 2 1/2 stars

“I’m so glad I ignored the bad ratings and watched this film anyway. It’s hilarious! I haven’t laughed that much at a film in a long time. Quite a dark sense of humour which made it even better! Great film.” 5 stars

“Nice family comedy. kinda far fetched and unbelievable but it kills a couple hours and you get a few laughs out of it.” 3 stars

“I gave this movie a solid 23 minutes before I had to shut it off with extreme prejudice. What a complete hunk of garbage. This movie make European Vacation look like a god damn masterpiece. I’m embarrassed for anyone who had anything to do with the production of this turd.” 1/2 star

Unfriended

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Six high-school friends are chatting through Skype when they receive a message from their former friend Laura Barns, who committed suicide after watching a footage in Internet showing her completely wasted. They believe it is a troll, but soon they learn that something supernatural is happening. Further, their dirty little secrets are exposed while they are mysteriously murdered one by one.

What people are saying:

“Unfriended adds a novel 21st century twist to the horror genre that transcends its silly storyline and slow pace with a smart, tension-packed script that manages some legitimate chills to go with its timelessly relevant social subtext.” 3 1/2 stars

“Perhaps director Gabriadze and writer Nelson Greaves intended to create a Social Media “Scream” and a commentary on cyber-bullying, but “Unfriended” comes across as disdainful of millennials. ” 2 stars

“Wow, now this is one scary movie, I was practicly sweating after finishing this movie. There’s a lot of anticipation as well as a ghoulish and creepy little story, and a new found footage style, using Skype, I found that to be clever. It’s well done and it’s definitly one scary movie, not just disturbing, but actually SCARY!!! Recommended !!” 3 1/2 stars

“It’s original and definitely watchable, but Unfriended doesn’t sell itself well. After a while I was rooting for the killer. These stupid teenagers lose their s— over the lamest things. Buncha whiners.” 2 stars

“It’s definitely very realistic in terms of its execution in dealing with technology and its format of being shown through computer screens, but as with a lot of found footage films, while it sets up very realistically, it dives too much into wanting to scare its audience rather than letting the restrictions of its concept drive the scares more naturally and subtly. The acting isn’t bad, it’s more so the directing trying to do too much near the end of the film.” 2 stars

Krampus

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on November 26, 2016 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

When his dysfunctional family clashes over the holidays, young Max is disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas. Little does he know, this lack of festive spirit has unleashed the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers. All hell breaks loose as beloved holiday icons take on a monstrous life of their own, laying siege to the fractured family’s home and forcing them to fight for each other if they hope to survive.

What people are saying:

“A very fun Christmas horror movie that deserves a viewing from those looking to have a darkly good time around the holidays. Original in many ways, Krampus may suffer from its numerous undeveloped characters, but for what it tries to accomplish, it succeeds.” 3 stars

“It starts promising with a wicked intro, and the latter half is actually quite funny/cool….but overall the dialogue is just so bad that it’s hard to take seriously, or to laugh. The ending makes up for it a bit…but overall it was hugely disappointing with terrible acting (Mainly all the kids minus the main one). It had so much more potential.” 3 stars

“I saw this in theaters last year and I was blown away. Take something as simple and lovable as Santa Clause and give it a dark twist. It feels like something straight out of the 80’s. Characters you hate and love, and an overall sense of terror when things don’t turn out the way you expect.” 5 stars

“A masterful throwback to eighties horror comedies like Gremlins, and might I dare say even better. The creature effects and designs on the monsters are all fantastic. All the characters feel flushed out and are each given little moments to shine and have interests and personalities. It would be so easy to just set most of these people s cannon fodder, but thankfully this movie is better than that. A fun addition to the genre of both terror and laughs, and that’s hard to do.” 4 stars

“A fascinating premise and awesome creature designs stand out in this very intriguing holiday horror film. Unfortunately the script and acting are only mediocre and the film restrains from going full force into the campiness which holds it back from being truly memorable. Still a solid creature feature that may go into my Christmas movie watch list.” 3 1/2 stars