Meet Dave

PLOT:

In a New York City apartment a young boy named Josh Morrison (Austin Lynd Myers) watches through his telescope an approaching object coming from the sky. It is a baseball-sized metal ball which flies through the window of his room. He keeps it and shows it at school in a science class presentation. Some months later, on Liberty Island a massive fireball crash lands. The fireball is actually a human-sized spaceship (Eddie Murphy). It is controlled by 100 humanoid aliens, each one inch tall. Its captain (also played by Murphy and looking like Dave) pilots the spaceship along with his crew from inside its head. For people the spaceship seems fairly human, but odd and with superpowers. A superstitious cop named Officer Dooley (Scott Caan) is desperately searching for the ship.

The aliens are seeking a way to save their planet, Nil, from an energy crisis. For that they need salt, which they plan to produce by draining the Earth’s oceans using the metal ball, so they have to recover it. Through a car accident in which the spaceship is hit by the car of Josh’s single mother Gina Morrison (Elizabeth Banks), the spaceship befriends Gina and Josh, telling them it’s name is Dave Ming-Chang and sees the ball on a photograph. Josh tells him that is was taken from him by a bully. Directed to him by Josh, Dave takes the metal ball back from the bully.

The Captain spends time with Josh and Gina, and realizes that humans are more advanced than they thought, having feelings and love. He decides to cancel the plan of draining the oceans, because of the damage to the Earth. Number 2 (the second in command on the spaceship) disagrees, takes over command, and imprisons the captain. Commander Number 3 (Gabrielle Union) is secretly in love with Number 1 and becomes jealous of Gina. She first cooperates in the change of command, but later agrees with Number 1. Numbers 1 and 3 are both expelled from the spaceship, but manage to reenter it and convince the crew that the captain should be in charge again. In the meantime one crew member, Number 17 (Kevin Hart), drunk from the alcoholic drink Dave has taken, takes a pretty female crew member and jumps out. Meanwhile, Number 1 apologizes to Number 3 for ignoring her. He admits that he does love her and wants to be with her. Back at the police station, Dooley discovers Number 17 in his coffee and steals him to find out information from him.

The police knows from the impression of Dave’s face in the dirt on the crash site what he looks like, and they arrest him for investigation. Dave breaks out, and the police try to arrest him again. Josh is at the scene and recharges Dave, who runs out of power, using a taserhe takes from a police officer. The ball, thrown in the ocean by Number 2, is retracted. The captain orders Number 2 to be stuck in the ship’s "butt" forever. Number 17 is allowed to enter Dave, and it uses its rocket-propelled shoes to leave Earth. While in the ship, Number 1 asks for Number 3’s hand in marriage. She accepts, and they kiss. During the end credits, the aliens dance to Shining Star by Earth, Wind and Fire.

REVIEW:

Eddie Murphy may look like a mutated version of his former self these days, but you can’t say he’s lost his ability to be funny. This is some of his funniest stuff since Coming to America or The Nutty Professor.

The concept of this film is one that has been explored before somewhere, but never brought to life with such comedic brilliance. I would love to see a spinoff of some sorts. It would be interesting to see the exploits the Nillians have. Obviously, it couldn’t have Eddie Murphy, but it could still be interesting.

Elizabeth Banks and Gabrielle Union are two of the sexiest actresses I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, save for one scene for the both of them, you don’t really get to see their sex appeal. Putting that aside, they still put on great performances and really get into their roles, especially Gabrielle Union when she gets into the jealous female being spurned for another woman mode. I may be wrong for playing the race card here, especially since it wasn’t brought up during the movie, but  was kind of expecting her to say something about, "So, you’d rather have the white girl?" She didn’t go there, though, but it just seemed like she could have.

Ed Helms does a masterful job as mutinous Number 2. As the film progresses, you can see the contempt he has for the captain growing and bubbling over. After he assumes control and snaps, he takes his character to a new level. 

Kevin Hart, Mike O’Malley, and Scott Caan lead a supporting cast that really puts the icing on the cake for this film.

It really is a shame this movie didn’t do better than it did, but a good portion of the reason it wasn’t as successful as it could have been was that it was released around the same time as Hellboy II: The Golden Army and The Dark Knight. So, of course it wasn’t going to be a huge success against those odds. I think had it been released a few weeks later, or even during the movie lull (after Labor Day…before High School Musical 3 was released) it would have done much better.

Having said all that, I’ve noticed something about movies like this. They start out hilarious and then somewhere after the halfway point, they lose the funny and turn serious, or just stop being funny. Unfortunately, Meet Dave fits that mold, as well.

This is a very funny movie, and like I said, is vintage Eddie Murphy. Critics may have bashed it, but I never listen to critics. I prefer to read what the real people say and form my own opinion after seeing for myself. The people were pretty much with the critics, just not as hard bashing. I loved this movie, but wished it would have kept up the funniness all the way through. I highly recommend it if you’re in the mood for a good laugh

4 out of 5 stars

Bugsy

PLOT:

Gangster Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel (Warren Beatty) who works for the New York mob goes to California and instantly falls in love with Virginia Hill (Annette Bening) and then buys a house. On a trip to Nevada he comes up with the idea for a casino in the desert. He enlists the help of gangster Mickey Cohen (Harvey Keitel) and acquires funding from gangster Meyer Lansky (Ben Kingsley) and other New York mobsters who approve the deal for $1 million. Bugsy puts Virginia in charge of accounting and begins construction of the Flamingo Las Vegas Hotel Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada but has no sense of control and the budget soon rises to $6 million. Bugsy tries everything to ensure it gets made even selling his share of the casino and most of his belongings. Upset about the costs, the fact that the casino is a failure and that $2 million of the budget is unaccounted for Meyer Lansky asks Bugsy to meet him in Los Angeles. Bugsy discovers that Virginia stole the money but tells her to “keep it and save it for a rainy day” rather than return it. He then calls Lansky and tells him never to sell his share of the casino and that he’ll live to thank him someday. While in his home back in L.A. later that night, Bugsy is killed by several gunshots (presumably from an assassin hired by Lansky or one of the other mobsters). Virginia is told the news back in Las Vegas and becomes upset, rushing out of the casino. The final text before the credits states that she returned the missing money a week later and committed suicide at some point after that. It also states that by 1991 (the film’s release year) the $6 million invested in Bugsy’s dream of Las Vegas had generated revenues of over $100 billion.

REVIEW:

Benjamin “Busgy” Siegel is not necessarily a household name when it comes to gangsters like Al Capone is, but he is fairly well known enough. In seeing this film, I learned alot of things about the man and the myth.

Warren Beatty is one of the best actors of a generation, and it is obvious he really cared about this role. Is it any wonder he won a Golden Globe for his portrayal? He should’ve won the Oscar, too, but it’s kinda hard to compete with Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs.

Annette Benning is breathtaking as Virginia. Harvey Keitel and Ben Kingsley give their usual flawless performances on screen, and the rest of the cast is just amazing.

I tend to love movies set in this time period, but this film just didn’t connect with me. I’m not sure why. This is a very good movie, its just not for me. I think I prefer Warren Beatty’s previous gangster-era movie (and one of my faves) Dick Tracy.

So, while this may not have been my favorite, I’m not going to dissuade you from going to see by totally bashing it. It’s too good a film for that. However, it does drag on in parts. As a matter of fact, there are parts that lost me, but that’s what Oscar nominated films apparently have to do.

That being said, this is worth a look if you’re looking for a really good film. You should give it a look.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad

PLOT:

Legendary adventurer Sinbad the Sailor (Kerwin Matthews) and his crew land on a island for provisions. While exploring, Sinbad encounters Sokurah the magician (Torin Thatcher), fleeing from a giant cyclops. They are able to escape, but Sokurah drops his magic lamp when the cyclops throws a boulder into the sea, overturning their boat. The cyclops finds and keeps the lamp. Though Sokurah offers Sinbad much to get it back for him, Sinbad refuses. He and his fiancé, Princess Parisa (Kathryn Grant), are on their way to Bagdad to be married, to cement ties between their two nations.

When the Caliph of Bagdad (Alec Mango) refuses to provide Sokurah a ship and crew to retrieve his treasure, the magician secretly shrinks Parisa to the size of a hand. Sokurah claims that he knows of a potion that can restore her, but it requires a piece of the eggshell of a roc, a giant, two-headed bird that coincidentally nests on the island of the cyclops. The caliph has no choice but to provide a ship. Sinbad enlists his loyal men from the previous voyage, but they are not enough, so he also has to recruit thieves and murderers from the Caliph’s prison.

When they reach the island, the cutthroats mutiny and capture Sokurah, Sinbad, and his men. However, screaming demons madden the crew, and the ship is in danger of being dashed upon the rocks. One of the mutineers releases Sinbad so he can save the ship. Afterwards, Sinbad regains control of the men.

On the island, Sokurah insists on splitting into two groups, so that if one is caught, the other can try to rescue them. Indeed, Sinbad’s party is captured by the cyclops. Sokurah finds them, but refuses to release the prisoners from their wooden cage, instead going on to retrieve the magic lamp. The cyclops chases him, forcing him to drop the lamp. Meanwhile, Sinbad slips Parisa between the bars and she unlatches the cage. Sinbad manages to blind the cyclops and trick it into falling off a cliff to its death.

Sinbad still needs Sokurah to guide him, but keeps the lamp, though he does not know how to use it. Parisa suggests she enter the lamp. Inside, she talks to the boy genie (Richard Eyer). He tells her how to summon him in return for a promise to try to free him.

The party reaches the roc’s nest, just as a giant hatchling emerges from its shell. They kill it for food, which results in an attack by the infuriated parent. In the confusion, Sokurah abducts the Princess and takes her to his underground fortress.

Sinbad follows, slipping past the chained guardian dragon. Sokurah restores Parisa to her normal size in return for the lamp. However, he reneges, animating a skeleton swordsman (an effect Ray Harryhausen would reuse in Jason and the Argonauts), but Sinbad defeats it. He and the Princess flee. As they cross over a river of molten lava, Parisa recalls part of the prophesy the genie told her about. She persuades Sinbad to throw the lamp into the lava, releasing the genie from his slavery.

Sokurah releases his dragon and pursues, but the monster is delayed when it has to fight another cyclops. Sinbad has time to organize his men to slay the fire-breathing creature with an enormous crossbow, a weapon ironically designed by Sokurah. The mortally-wounded beast falls on Sokurah, killing him. Sinbad, Parisa, and the other survivors depart, joined by the genie, Sinbad’s new cabin boy.

REVIEW:

I’m a huge fan of stop motion animation. If you’ve read my reviews of Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans, you know that I believe that it is infinitely superior to CGI.

Sinbad is not a character I am too familiar with. I remember my sister renting a Sinbad movie when I was little and watching it with her because my  neighbor was out of town and I had no one to play with. For some reason I recall liking it, and today, with the advent of Netflix, I am able to become acquainted with Sinbad myself.

This movie goes up and down. It starts off fast and with lots of action, then it suddenly grinds to halt as they arrive at Bagdad. If not for the snake woman and the plot device of the princess getting shrunk, then I’m sure the rating I’m going to give this film would be an entire star lower. That section of the film is that droll.

I don’t fully understand why Sinbad would choose to take a bunch of cons for his crew with out having some kind of precautions. He should have known better than to trust these lowlifes, especially in that day and time.

Ray Harryhausen again does what he does best and that is bring fantastic creatures to life with stop motion animation. My favorite is the dragon, but you have to appreciate the cyclops, roc,  skeleton, and the snake dancer.

I may be a little to used to seeing grown up genies, thanks to I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin,but the idea of a little boy genie just seems wrong. At the same time, since his power seem to only b for protection, then I don’t have that much of an issue with his age.

Sokurah, the magician, is obviously a very powerful man. One must wonder, why doesn’t he just vanquish the cyclops his self? Then again, if he did that, we wouldn’t have much of a film would we?

Princess Parisa is very beautiful, as most women were during the time this movie was made, and not the fake beauty we have today. However, I wonder what it had to be like to be stuck in what was essentially a dressing room.

All in all, this is a good film. Not the best I’ve seen in this genre, but pretty solid. I recommend it for any and all.

4 out of 5 stars

Blade

PLOT:

A man is led to a rave club by a seductive woman, only to find that the club is filled with vampires eager to feed on the human members of the crowd. In the middle of the carnage, a vampire-hunter named Blade arrives. As a half-vampire hybrid known as a “daywalker”, Blade has all the strengths of a vampire but none of their weaknesses except the thirst for blood. He slaughters the vampires in the club, leaving only Quinn alive and horribly burned.

Blade tracks Quinn down to a hospital, but Quinn is able to bite a resident hermatologist, Dr. Karen Jenson, before escaping once again. Blade brings Karen back to his lair and introduces her to Abraham Whistler, his mentor and weaponsmith. Karen resolves to study vampirism and find a cure before she becomes a vampire. She soon discovers that the anticoagulant EDTA reacts explosively with the vampire infection. Meanwhile, Deacon Frost, a young upstart in the vampire community, clashes with his vampire elders. He believes that vampires should rise from the shadows and enslave humanity. The elders shun him for his radical views and because he was not born a vampire, like they were. Frost studies ancient vampire lore and comes to believe that he can awaken La Magra, a vampire god, to gain godlike power. Together with his minions, he kills the chief vampire of the region and imprisons the other elders.

Blade combats Frost’s various minions in an effort to uncover his plan, but Frost manages to invade Blade’s lair, kidnapping Karen and mortally wounding Whistler. Blade gives the infected Whistler a gun to commit suicide, then arms himself with a large supply of EDTA. He storms Frost’s home, overrunning the bodyguards, and discovers his own mother, whom he believed dead, in Frost’s bed. She reveals that Frost was the vampire that bit her while Blade was still in the womb and caused him to become a daywalker. Thunderstruck, Blade is defeated and taken to the Temple of Eternal Night for Frost’s blood ritual.

Frost sacrifices the elder vampires in a magic ritual and gains the power of La Magra. Karen manages to break free and feed Blade her blood, giving him the power to fight back. He kills his mother while Karen kills Frost’s lover Mercury with garlic spray. Blade then cuts through Quinn and the rest of Frost’s minions before engaging Frost in swordplay. Frost’s new powers make him immune to normal weapons, so Blade injects him with EDTA, causing Frost to explode. Blade and Karen return to Blade’s lair, where Karen successfully cures herself of vampirism. Blade chooses to forgo the cure in order to continue hunting vampires with their own powers. An epilogue finds Blade killing a vampire in Russia.

REVIEW:

Let me preface this by saying, I watched this after eating Thanksgiving dinner this afternoon, so I was a bit out of it and I believe I fell asleep a couple of times. Luckily, I’ve seen this film many times before.

There are many that don’t even know that Blade is a comic book character. True, he’s not on the level of X-Men, Spider-Man, etc, but he’s still a Marvel property, even if Stan Lee didn’t create him.

This is an awesome film! It’s no wonder they felt the need to make a couple of sequels. Wesley Snipes is the perfect Blade.

Some call this a horror film. I guess you can say that, but for me, its more of an action/adventure with lots of blood, similar to Underworld or Van Helsing.

The plot isn’t too hard to follow, unlike most horror films where you get lost, and if not for all the people getting chopped up, you’d probably be scratching your head wondering WTF?!?

I wish the presence of La Magra was bigger, rather than just Stephen Dorff with red eyes. I get so tired of hearing about actors and/or their fans who think that doing roles that require them to morph into a creature that will take away their screen time will hurt their career. Personally, I think a full out creaturific La Megra would have been awesome! That is my only real complaint other than there isn’t enough Sanaa Lathan.

If you’re looking for a good vampire, comic superhero, or action/adventure film, then this is for you!

4 out of 5 stars

The Producers

PLOT:

The flop musical “Funny Boy” (based on William Shakespeare’s Hamlet) opens (“Opening Night”). Afterward, Leo Bloom (Matthew Broderick) arrives at the office of the show’s washed up producer, Max Bialystock (Nathan Lane). Max has hired Leo Bloom as his accountant. While studying Max’s books, Leo inadvertently inspires Max to put on a show that is certain to fail at the box office and cleverly change their accounts leaving them with $2,000,000 to spend. At first, Leo refuses to participate. Max, who cannot change the books himself, attempts to coax Leo into the scheme (“We Can Do It”). Leo still refuses and returns to his old accounting firm, Whitehall & Marks.

After being chastised by Mr. Marks (Jon Lovitz), Leo fantasizes about being a Broadway producer (“I Wanna Be a Producer”). Leo quits his job and with Max, forms Bialystock & Bloom. Max and Leo search for “the worst play ever written” and discover Springtime for Hitler,written by an ex-Nazi named Franz Liebkind (Will Ferrell). They are coerced into performing Adolf Hitler’s favorite tune in order to gain Liebkind’s signature for Broadway rights to the musical (“Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop”). They solicit a flamboyant gay director, Roger De Bris (Gary Beach) (the worst director in the world), to direct and choreograph the play. De Bris initially refuses saying that the musical is far too dark and gritty and that Broadway needs to be more “gay” (“Keep It Gay”). Roger is talked into it, however, after being enticed by Max and Leo, who tell him that if he directs the play, he is certain to win a Tony. Then, Ulla (Uma Thurman), a beautiful Swedish woman, appears at their office for casting despite there being no auditions. Max insists on hiring her as their secretary and auditioning her (“When You’ve Got It, Flaunt It”).

To gain the finances for the musical Max has sexual affairs with every old lady across town (“Along Came Bialy”). Max and Leo return to the office to discover that Ulla has redecorated it to be entirely white. After Max leaves, Leo laments about Ulla and the dangers of sexual affairs straying him from his work, culminating in a kiss between Leo and Ulla (“That Face”). Later, at the auditions for the role of Hitler, Franz becomes angered at a performer’s rendition of a beloved German song. Franz storms the stage and sings the song the correct way (“Haben sie gehört das deutsche band?”). Max hires Franz to play Hitler.

On opening night, as the cast and crew prepare to go on stage, Leo wishes everyone “good luck”, to which the players are horrified. They explain to Leo that it is in fact “bad luck” to say “good luck” on opening night and that the correct phrase is to say “break a leg” (“You Never Say Good Luck on Opening Night”). Franz leaves to prepare and, in his rush, literally breaks his leg. Max enlists Roger to perform the role in his place, and Roger accepts.

As the show opens, the audience is horrified and begins to walk out until Roger steps on stage as Hitler. Because his performance is so flamboyant, the audience sees the play as a mockery of Hitler rather than Franz’s original vision (“Springtime for Hitler”). As a result, the show is a success and the IRS will be keeping tabs on Max and Leo. Max gets arrested for his tax fraud while Leo and Ulla escape to Rio (“Betrayed”), however they return to stand up for Max in court (“‘Til Him”). The judge sentences them both to five years at Sing Sing prison, but they are pardoned after writing a musical in prison (“Prisoners of Love”), and go on to become successful Broadway producers.

REVIEW:

If you are a regular reader of this blog and my reviews, you can no doubt tell that I am a fan of musicals. The Producersdoes not disappoint. It has entertaining numbers, comedy, a sold plot, and Uma Thurman as an uber-hot Swedish sexpot!

I did not get the chance to see this on Broadway, mostly because I don’t live in NYC, but if previous musicals are any indication, it didn’t lose anything in the transition from stage to screen, except maybe a couple of songs.

Mel Brooks is a genius. However, if you expect to see the same kind of humor in this film as you would in some of his other film, such as Spaceballs, The History of the World, etc., you’ll be disappointed. However, this is still a good film.

It’s not without its flaws, though. Having not seen the Broadway production, I don’t know of these are in the original production or just a result of bad editing, but there are spots, especially as the film nears its end, that it just seems to rush to a conclusion without taking the time to move the plot forward. Of course, I was trying to rush through the movie today, myself, so it could have been my personal sense of rushing that caused said feeling.

This is an excellent film, and I highly recommend it to all, but like I said, don’t go in expecting your typical Mel Brooks film.

4 out of  5 stars

War, Inc.

PLOT:

War Inc.is set in the future, when the fictional desert country of Turaqistan is torn by a riot after a private corporation, Tamerlane (based on Halliburton), owned by the former Vice President of the United States (Dan Aykroyd, based on Dick Cheney), has taken over the whole country. Brand Hauser (John Cuysack), a hit man who suppresses his emotions by gobbling down hot sauce, is hired by the corporation’s head to kill the CEO of their competitors. To do this, he has to have a cover story which is in the form of a gala wedding by the outrageous Central Asian Superstar Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff). Everything changes when the ruthless killer finds himself head-over-heels in love with a sexy reporter Natalie Hegalhuzen (Marisa Tomei) and developing paternal feelings for the oversexed Yonica.

REVIEW:

I hadn’t heard much about this film, other some promotional shots of an extremely sexy Hilary Duff, until my friend over at The Movie Whore posted a blog recommending it and I immediately went and put this on my Netflix list. It was a long wait, but I finally got the chance to see it, and was not disappointed.

I’m a fan of satires, so is it really any wonder that I would like this film? I’m not a big fan of John Cusack. Well, let me take that back, I’m not too familiar with is work. The last movie I saw him in was America’s Sweethearts, but I do have Martian Child on my Netflix cue.

Hilary Duff has come a long way since her days as Lizzie McGuire. Anyone want to call her “Duff Puff” after looking at her rock hard stomach in this? I’m sure the Disney folks would’ve had a cow had she have made this film while still working for them. Listen to the songs and you’ll see why. All that said, her accent, while not the best, is pretty good.

Marisa Tomei is still gorgeous and hasn’t lost any of her talent as an actress. I don’t know why she doesn’t get more roles. In my opinion, this is one of her best.

Ben Kingley and Joan Cusack add there own brand of comic relief to the picture. Until the ending credits, I did not know that Montel Williams was voicing the Guide Star system, which seems to be John Cusack’s best friend.

Cusack is believable as an assassin. When he starts killing, he seems to be in a different zone. I don’t know if that is part of the movie, or just good acting, but it works.

I don’t really have anything negative to say about this picture. It’s sad it didn’t get a wider release, but that may be a good thing. I can see this becoming a cult favorite in the future. Especially because of its satirical stance on the way the US treats the Mid-East.

I highly recommend this film. Watch it and you won’t be dissatisfied!

4 out of 5 stars

Superman Returns

PLOT:

Superman has been missing for five years, having traveled to where astronomers believed they had discovered the remains of Krypton. During his absence, Lex Luthor was released from prison. Lex married a rich widow and obtains her fortune upon her death. As Clark Kent, he returns to Earth, living with his adoptive mother, Martha Kent on the Kent Farm in Smallville. Clark returns to his job at the Daily Planet in Metropolis, while learning Lois Lane has won the Pulitzer Prize for her article Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman. Meanwhile, Luthor travels to the Fortress of Solitude and steals Kryptonian crystals. During an experiment with the crystals, Lex causes a worldwide power outage. This interferes with the flight test of a space shuttle attached to a Boeing 777, occupied by Lois Lane who is covering the story. Clark flies into action as Superman and stops the plane from crashing onto a baseball field.

The world rejoices in Superman’s return, but Lois is more concerned with the blackout. Clark later meets her fiancé Richard White, nephew of Daily Planet editor-in-chief Perry White, and their son, Jason. Clark is emotionally hurt when he overhears a conversation between Lois and Richard in which she says she never loved Superman. He then proceeds to stop a bank heist, saving Kitty, Luthor’s co-conspirator. With Superman distracted, Luthor steals Kryptonite from the Metropolis Museum of Natural History. Perry assigns Lois to interview Superman while Clark investigates the blackout. That night, Superman arrives at the Daily Planet and takes Lois for a flight, during which he apologizes for leaving her.

Lois focuses her attention on the blackout again and ascertains its origin. Lois and Jason inadvertently aboard Luthor’s ship and are captured. Luthor reveals to them his grand scheme of using one of the stolen Kryptonian crystals to grow a new continental landmass in the Northern Atlantic Ocean that will destroy much of Earth’s existing continents, in the process killing billions of people and leaving him as the new landmass’ owner. On observing the effect of a Kryptonite sample on Jason, Luthor asks who Jason’s father really is; after Lois asserts that the father is Richard, he leaves to launch the crystal (now encased in green Kryptonite) into the sea. Under water, the crystal begins to create Luthor’s new landmass. Lois faxes their co-ordinates to The Daily Planet and is attacked by a henchman. The henchman is hit by a piano, which seems to have been pushed at him by Jason; afterward, Lois and Jason are imprisoned in galley. Luthor flies in his helicopter to the still forming continent. Meanwhile, Superman is attempting to minimize the destruction in Metropolis caused by the new landmass’ growth when Richard arrives in a sea plane to rescue Lois and Jason. Superman soon arrives to help and then flies off to find Luthor.

Meeting Luthor, Superman discovers the landmass is filled with Kryptonite, which weakens him to the point that Luthor and his henchmen are able to beat him. Superman is stabbed by Luthor with a shard of Kryptonite and falls into the ocean. Lois makes Richard turn back to rescue Superman, whereupon she removes the Kryptonite from his back. Superman, after regaining his strength from the sun, lifts the landmass by putting layers of earth between him and the Kryptonite. Luthor and Kitty escape in their helicopter; Kitty, unwilling to let billions of people die, tosses away the crystals that Lex stole from the Fortress of Solitude. She and Luthor are stranded on a desert island when their helicopter runs out of fuel. Superman pushes the landmass into space, but is weakened by the Kryptonite present and crashes back to Earth. Doctors remove more Kryptonite from Superman’s wound, but after it is removed they cannot penetrate his skin with their surgical tools. While Superman remains in a coma, Lois and Jason visit him at the hospital where Lois whispers a secret into Superman’s ear. Superman later awakens and flies to see Jason, reciting Jor-El’s last speech to Jason as he sleeps. Lois starts writing another article, titled “Why the World Needs Superman”. Superman reassures her that he is now back to stay, and flies off to low orbit, where he gazes down at the world.

REVIEW:

I’m not the biggest fan of Superman, but I do know a pretty fair amount about him and the original movies starring Christopher Reeve. In comparison, this film stacks up between the second and third films. It’s not the greatest, but its far from the worst.

Brandon Routh was an unknown when he took this role (and for the most part still is), but he does a fairly good job, and bears a resemblance to Christopher Reeve, which can be argued as to how he got the part. However, I did not like that in an early 3 hr film, you can all bu count his lines as both Clark and Superman on your hands.

Kevin Spacey steals the show as a Lex Luthor. He even adds a nod to Gene Hackman’s portrayal of the iconic villain. On top of this, he adds his own twist in there.

Kate Bosworth’s portrayal of Lois Lane, I thought was a bit too emotional. She seems to spend the whole film pissed off that Superman just up and left her as if they were an exclusive couple. Now, it has been a while since I’ve seen the original films, but if I’m not mistaken, the only place Lois and Superman actually make it official is in the comics.

The rest of the cast is solid, but no one really sticks out, except James Marsden as Richard. There were times when I thought he could have been Superman, but then he’s already been one superhero (Cyclops). No need to confuse people by making him another one, especially under the same director.

Speaking of the director, Bryan Singer did an ok job with this, but I expected better. He left the X-Menfranchise for this, and it just doesn’t seem like it was worth it. I’m not saying there should have been a reboot, but the flow of this film seems to be similar to the first X-Men.

MY biggest issue with the movie, that I haven’t already mentioned, is that there is a lack of action for 3/4 of the film, minus a few scenes here and there. I went into this expecting to see more action, and the whole paternity issue just didn’t really seem to fit, especially since they shoved it in near the end, and Richard didn’t even seem to react to it, at least not on-screen.

I did like the homages and nods to the previous films and comics. For instance, there is a scene where Superman saves car from crashing into the ground that is straight from a cover of Action Comics. Also, when Superman boards the plane after saving it, he says the same lines Christopher Reeve said to Margot Kidder after saving the helicopter in the original Superman.

This is not as bad as I, or the critics make it seem, but it could use some refinement. It’s sad that they have chosen to reboot the franchise and make Superman dark rather than go with the original plan of giving this film a sequel. So, I recommend you see this one, before you waste your time on a dark Superman, because we all know Superman is not known for being dark. That’s what Batman is for.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Ali

 

PLOT:

In 1964, a brash new pro boxer, fresh from his olympic gold medal victory, explodes on to the scene, Cassius Clay. Bold and outspoken, he cuts an entirely new image for African American’s in sport with his proud public self confidence with his unapologetic belief that he is the greatest boxer of all time. To his credit, he sets out to prove that with his highly agile and forceful style soon making him a formidable boxer who soon claims the heavyweight championship. His personal life is no less noteworthy with his allegiance to the Nation of Islam, his friendship with the controversial Malcolm X and his abandonment of his slave name in favour of Muhammad Ali stirring up controversy. Yet, at the top of his game, both Ali’s personal and professional lives face the ultimate test with the military draft rules are changed, making him eligible for military induction during the Vietnam War. Despite the fact that he could easily agree to a sweetheart deal that would have meant an easy tour of duty for himself, Ali refuses to submit on principle to cooperate in an unjust war for a racist nation that treated his people so poorly. The cost of that stand is high as he finds himself unable to legally box in his own country while his case is contested in court. What follows is a battle for a man who would sacrifice so much for what he believes in and a comeback that would cement his legend as one of the great sports figures of all time.

REVIEW:

As far as biopics go, this is one of the better made films. That may be due to the fact that the film’s subject, Muhammed Ali, is still alive.

Will Smith is very believable as Muhammed Ali, and his dedication to his craft is evident in the fact that he packed on the lbs and muscle to take this role. I was not around during Ali’s time, but from videos I’ve seen, Will captures him almost exactly dead on.

If I didn’t know it was John Voigt playing Howard Cossell, I would have never guessed. Aside from Smith, he does the best job in his role. The rest of the cast is very solid.

I did get a bit bored at times with this film. It just seemed to drag on for parts. Also, there were scenes that just didn’t seem to fit into the plot or move it forward.

There are those that say they should have covered Ali’s earlier and later life. I see where they would want that, but I have no issue with what was chosen as the final material

Muhammed Ali was and still is a great man, and this picture does him justice. Before watching it, all I knew was that he was a boxer, has Parkinson’s, and lit the torch at the ’96 Summer Olympics. It gets a high recommendation from me.

4 out of 5 stars

Drive Me Crazy

PLOT:

Nicole Maris (Melissa Joan Hart) and Chase Hammond (Adrian Grenier) live next door to each other. Nicole’s parents are divorced and Nicole lives with her mother and Chase’s mother died of cancer, making them teens living with their single parents. However, they are worlds apart. Nicole is up on the latest fashions; Chase, on the latest protest. She wouldn’t miss a pep rally or basketball game with her scheming socialite friends; he can usually be found in a dark coffee room with his friends who don’t care what they wear.

Nicole wants a dream date with the star basketball player, but right before it was certain they were going together, he falls in love with a cheerleader. Meanwhile, Chase’s “non-conformist” girlfriend, Dulcie (Ali Larter) dumps him for another man. Now that they have something in common, Nicole and Chase reluctantly join forces to navigate the land mines of high school love.

Their scheme: date each other to attract the interest and jealousy of their respective romantic prey. It works all right: they both get the person they wanted. But in the midst of planning a gala centennial celebration, Nicole and Chase find that the one they always wanted, is closer than they ever realized. Finally, they dump their original dates and fall in love with each other.

There is still one big twist that could ruin their relationship forever in the end. After the celebration ends, they go back home only to find out that their parents have fallen in love and will move in together, which would make them step-siblings. However, the movie ends with the feeling that they aren’t going to let that fact stop their relationship.

REVIEW:

This is your typical teen romantic comedy film, only there was very little comedy and the romance was more about one girl overreacting.

The story had potential, as did many of the actors, but it just doesn’t cut it. Having said that, it is good to see young Ali Larter, Adrian Grenier, and Melissa Joan Hart in one of their early roles.

I hate to make it sound like I hate this film, becise I don’t, there just isn’t much to say about it, good or bad.

I recommend it if you’re a fan of teen oriented film, or a fan of someone starring in the picture, maybe even if you like the Britney Spears song that inspired the title, but otherwise, I wouldn’t waste the time.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Mask of Zorro

PLOT:

In 1821, the Mexican Army is on the verge of liberating its country from Spanish colonial rule. In the area of present-day California, the cruel and ruthless Spanish Governor, Don Rafael Montero is about to be overthrown. In a last ditch effort to trap his arch-nemesis, the masked swordsman Zorro, Montero lays a trap by condemning three innocent men to death. Zorro arrives and begins fighting the guards, not noticing an extra contingent awaiting him on a nearby balcony. The trap is thwarted with assistance from two orphan brothers, Joaquin and Alejandro Murrieta, whereupon Zorro rewards Joaquin with a medal he is wearing. Zorro then lands in front of Montero and cuts a “Z” into his neck as a reminder to never return to California. Calling his faithful black stallion, Toronado, Zorro rides up into the sunset and waves his sword into the sky in front of the cheering populace.

However, from their final confrontation, Montero is able to surmise that Zorro is really a nobleman, and most likely Don Diego de la Vega, a Spanish noble living in California whom the Governor had always disliked, due to his unrequited love for Diego’s wife Esperanza. Montero confronts him at his home later that evening, and proves Diego is Zorro by finding and aggravating a wound inflicted on Zorro in the attempt to trap him. Attempting to arrest him, a fight ensues, during which Esperanza is killed while protecting Diego, Diego’s house is burned and his infant daughter, Eléna, is taken to Spain by Montero to be raised as his own while Diego is taken to prison.

Twenty years later, Montero returns to California and comes to a notorious jail housing forgotten prisoners from the Spanish era, looking for Diego. Although he is there, Montero does not recognize him. Diego then seizes an opportunity to escape, intent on killing Montero at the first possible chance, but retreats when he sees Montero has brought with him Eléna, now a beautiful young lady who very much resembles Esperanza. She arrives on the shores of California for what she believes is the first time and is presented with a bouquet of local flowers. She recognizes the scent and asks for the name of the flowers. Montero’s old friend, Don Luiz, tells her it is romagna, but that they only grow in California. Later, while walking in a local market, Eléna meets a woman who claims to have been her nanny and that she used to hang flowers on her crib. Eléna tells her that she must be mistaken, but the elderly woman disagrees, saying that she could never forget the daughter of Diego and Esperanza de la Vega.

Diego soon encounters an adult Alejandro Murrieta, whom he recognizes by the medal he awarded Joaquin. He has grown up to be a drunken, clumsy bandit, bitter over the recent murder of his brother by a sadistic (and partially psychotic) Texian Army Captain, Harrison Love. Diego recruits and trains Alejandro to become his successor. After becoming a better swordsman, Alejandro, dressed in a make-shift Zorro costume, goes out to steal a black stallion that resembles the original Zorro’s horse, Toronado. On his way to the inn where the horse is stabled, Alejandro runs in to Eléna and is struck by her beauty. After successfully stealing the horse, and blowing up most of the inn with gunpowder in the process, Alejandro hides in a local church, where the priest Father Felipe, who was once the guardian of Joaquin and Alejandro, joyfully embraces his ‘old friend’ Zorro. Alejandro hides in the confessional, where Eléna is waiting to speak to the priest. Alejandro pretends to take her confession, while really learning more about her. He then escapes through the roof and rides back to Zorro’s lair on his stolen black stallion. Diego scolds Alejandro for taking the horse; he claims that Zorro was a servant of the people, not a thief, to which Alejandro responds that he feels that Zorro is needed again, and he is determined to make a difference for his country. Diego also tells Alejandro that, to enter Montero’s world, he must have charm, be a gentleman and gain Montero’s trust. They both agree that this project “is going to take a lot of work.”

Posing as a visiting Spanish nobleman, with Diego as his servant (As Montero will never look a servant in the eye), Alejandro infiltrates Montero’s inner circle. He sees the beautiful Elena again and surprises her with a small red rose. Later Elena comes to Alejandro’s table and asks him to come and sit with Montero. At the table, the group talks about the ‘legendary bandit’ Zorro. Later, Captain Love asks Elena to dance with him, she agrees. Their dance is soon interrupted by Alejandro who tells Captain Love to get back to Montero. He dances with Elena and asks her to do something more robust. The two do a traditional Spanish tango. Diego sees them dancing and is happy because he knows that Alejandro would be a perfect match for Elena, while Montero does not think so, he wants Elena to be with Captain Love. However, Montero is convinced to let Alejandro into his inner circle and asks him to stay after the party to see a ‘vision’. Alejandro learns that Montero has been operating a secret gold mine he has dubbed El Dorado with the aid of Captain Love, using peasants and petty criminals as slave labor. His goal is to buy California from Mexico (using gold that really already belongs to Mexico) and establish himself as California’s leader. Diego uses this opportunity to become closer to Eléna, though he identifies himself as “Bernardo” the servant (a homage to the name of Zorro’s mute sidekick from the original story), learning that Montero told Elena that her mother died in childbirth.

Diego then allows Alejandro to wear the real mask of Zorro (along with the rest of the costume) and sends him to Montero’s mansion to steal the map leading to the gold mine. At the mansion, Zorro succeeds in stealing the map and also duels and fights off Montero, Captain Love, and all of the guards. As he escapes to the stable, he is confronted by Eléna, who attempts to retrieve the map belonging to her “father.” They engage in a sword fight, and Eléna shows her own skill with a sword. She disarms Zorro and forces him back. But Zorro manages to retrieve Eléna’s own sword and cuts off her bodice, leaving her topless and in nothing but her underwear. She tries to cover her breasts with Zorro’s hat but she soon finds herself in his arms. They kiss for a moment, her attraction grows and she leans in for more, but Zorro steps back, takes back his hat, bids her goodbye, and proceeds outside. Montero and his soldiers enter the stable, and Montero observes his daughter’s state. Zorro is then pursued by Montero’s soldiers as he makes his escape, but he knocks all the soldiers off their horses and escapes on his horse, the new Toronado.

Together, Diego and Alejandro use the stolen map to locate the mine, in order to save those working there before Montero and Captain Love can “destroy all the evidence”. However, Diego refuses to go with Alejandro; he has other business to finish. Alejandro realizes that Eléna is Diego’s daughter and that he intends to kill Montero in revenge. Feeling betrayed, Alejandro denounces Diego for his selfishness and departs, although Diego points out that the people still have Zorro, reflecting how he has officially passed the title on.

While Alejandro/Zorro sets off to save the mine workers, Diego heads to Montero’s mansion to confront his old nemesis. At last, Montero recognizes Diego and realizes the identity of the new Zorro, Diego simply commenting that there are many who would proudly wear the mask of Zorro. Montero believes that Diego has come to punish him for the illegal mine, but his confident manner fades when Diego, with a sword to Montero’s neck, orders him to call for Eléna. Eléna comes down to see her ‘father’ apparently being held hostage by a man she has only known as a servant. Eléna recognises the name Diego de la Vega and asks the two men what flowers used to hang on her crib. Montero then holds a gun to Diego’s head and says he would shoot him even in front of his own daughter, forcing him to stand down. As he is lead away by guards, Diego turns to Eléna and tells her that the flowers were romagna. This convinces Eléna that she is possibly his daughter rather than Montero’s, and she later helps him escape. They then head to the mine to assist Alejandro.

At the mine, Zorro encounters Captain Love as he is trying to transfer the gold. Zorro defeats the guards and then engages Love, as an unseen Montero prepares to shoot him from a distance. However, Diego arrives at the last moment and knocks Montero’s shot off balance, before engaging him by the sword. After disarming Montero, Diego is free to kill him, but Eléna appeals for him to stop. Montero then takes Eléna hostage with a gun to make Diego drop his sword, which he does. Montero then shoots Diego, seriously wounding him, but he is able to continue to fight.

In the end, Zorro impales Love with the Captain’s own sword, while Diego sends Montero off a cliff, dragged by a moving cart of gold, which crushes him and Love, killing them both. Eléna frees the captive workers before explosives set by Love to wipe out the evidence of the mine can go off. Zorro helps Eléna free the slaves just as the mine is destroyed by a spectacular explosion. Diego, whose gunshot wound is fatal, makes peace with Alejandro and endorses him as the next Zorro, encouraging a union between him and Eléna, who finally accepts him as her father. Diego informs his daughter that she is exactly like her mother: same mouth, eyes, spirit, and a Zorro who loves her. He dies in their arms and is given a grand funeral by the people he had long protected, allegedly the grandest any had ever seen. Alejandro and Eléna marry and rebuilt the de la Vega family mansion and have a son whom they name Joaquin, in honor of Alejandro’s brother, and Zorro returns as the defender of the People of California.

REVIEW:

There was a time when one could see episodes of Zorroon the Disney channel at night. Those days have passed and been replaced with constant reruns of Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.Until the Disney folks decide to remember their roots, this will have to take its tide us over.

Make no mistake, though, this is not a downgrade from the original series. As a matter of fact, it is loosely based on it.

Casting is excellent. I don’t know who else I would have cast as Zorro other than Antonio Banderas. Anthony Hopkins is masterful in his role as the original Zorro. Catherine Zeta-Jones is beautiful as ever.

This move never takes itself too seriously, nor does it think it is a comedy, which is a plus.

One of the most talked about scenes in the film is the scene between Alejandro and Elena where Zorro undresses her with his sword and then leaves her. It is quite HOT!!!

If I have anything bad to say about this movie, it is that there are some parts that feel forced into the plot, but that might just be me.

As a fan of westerns and Zorro, of course I’m going to recommend this. Speaking objectively, though, this is a nice action filled movie with some humorous moments that you will enjoy!

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Curious George

PLOT:

A clumsy, mischievous, and curious chimpanzee named George (voiced by Frank Welker) lives in the jungles of Africa. His behavior amuses the other young jungle animals, but angers their parents; therefore George is left sad and alone.

Meanwhile, at the Bloomsberry Museum, Ted (the “man in the yellow hat” of the earlier book series) (Will Ferrell), a museum employee, teaches schoolchildren about natural history, not realizing that his lectures bore them. Afterward, he has a talk with Maggie (Drew Barrymore), the school teacher, who admires him and for whom he has strong feelings. Later, Mr. Bloomsberry (Dick Van Dyke), the owner of the museum, tells Ted that he is pressed to close the museum by his son, Bloomsberry Junior (David Cross), who wishes to build a parking garage in its stead. This upsets Ted, who suggests, to revive the museum’s popularity, that they obtain a statue called the Lost Shrine of Zagawa. Excited, Mr. Bloomsberry thinks to go himself as he had been prevented from doing by his son’s birth, but finds that he is too old. Without thinking, Ted quickly volunteers to make the expedition. Mr. Bloomsberry accepts the idea and Ted prepares to leave for Africa. Junior, frustrated, modifies his father’s map of Africa to prevent Ted from finding the Shrine.

Ted subsequently goes to an outfitters’ store, where he is tricked into purchasing a yellow safari outfit with a yellow hat on the grounds that “Yellow is the new Khaki” and therefore the new fashion for explorers. He then sets off for Africa, though embarrassed by his uniform.

Ted arrives in Africa, and leads a group on a four-day hike to the lost shrine. George spots the yellow hat and, mistaking it for a large banana, goes after it. Ted mistakes a rock for a rhinoceros, whereupon he shoots it with a tranquilizer dart, which ricochets and hits his guide, Edu, rendering the man unconscious and therefore slowing the expedition. The team sits down for a lunch break. Ted prepares a sandwich to eat, whereupon George suddenly takes his hat and attempts to eat it. When Ted notices this, he tries to make a bargain with George for the hat, which George turns into a game. Ted plays “peek-a-boo” with George, until he decides to continue the expedition, leaving the hat behind. When Ted reaches the end of Junior’s sabotaged map, he encounters a miniature idol; believing this to be Zagawa itself, he gets depressed. He gets a call from Mr. Bloomsberry and sends a picture of the statue via cellphone. However, the angle of the picture causes Mr. Bloomsberry to believe the idol is much bigger. Ted returns to the docks, while George quickly follows with the hat. George sneaks onto the ship and rides to the city without Ted’s knowledge.

Upon arrival, Ted rides home in a taxi. George follows Ted all the way to his apartment. When Ted finds George in his apartment, he is flabbergasted. Ivan, the doorman of the apartment building, follows George’s scent, intending to enforce the apartment manager’s rule against pets. Ivan searches the apartment, while George makes it a game of “hide and seek”. Ivan fails to find George, and therefore leaves. Ted looks for George, to find that George has gone to Ms. Plushbottom’s (Joan Plowright) apartment, whose resident is a neighbor of Ted’s. Ted worriedly climbs the fire escape outside the building to the top. He finds George inside, where George has been painting colorful pictures on walls (a reference to one of the books on which the film is based). When Ms. Flushbottom notices, she calls for Ivan, who races to her room. After a lot of commotion, Ivan sends Ted and George away.

Upset, Ted wonders what he is going to do with George. Together, they walk to the Bloomsberry Museum, where crowds of people await to see the idol. He goes to his office, where he attempts to sort out his thoughts. Meanwhile, Junior is upset about the idol foiling his plans, and then notices that Ted is back. He decides to spy on him, and finds out the truth about the idol’s size. Clovis, an inventor, knocks at Ted’s door and gives Ted a bill for the exhibit of the Lost Shrine of Zagawa. Ted tells Mr. Bloomsberry the truth and reveals the 3-inch-tall idol. Junior then brings in the large crowd of people to see the idol. They start asking questions, which makes Ted nervous. Suddenly, he sees George climbing a dinosaur exhibit, which starts to fall. He races after George as the dinosaur skeleton crumbles. Junior orders Ted out. Ted goes to a telephone booth to call Animal Control to get rid of George.

That evening, with nowhere to sleep, Ted follows George to a park, where Ted lies down on a bench and sarcastically tells George how “great” it is. George makes a pile of leaves under a large tree, where Ted joins him and becomes fascinated by the sight of a starry sky. George curiously observes fireflies; eats them; spits them out in disgust; and causes Ted to do the same. They acquire green color on their tongues as a result, and therefore make a joke of showing each other this until George is asleep.

The next morning, Ted awakes in the park to find George gone. Hearing a commotion, he follows it to a zoo, where he finds George with Maggie and her class. Here, George is given his name by Ted, in honor of George Washington. Ted attempts to court Maggie, but is alerted to the fact that George is floating away, suspended by a bunch of balloons, and goes after him in the same way. They float around the city; George’s balloons are popped, but Ted catches him. Together, they fly around the city, held aloft by Ted’s balloons. When they float over the Bloomsberry museum, Ted holds out the idol and wishes it were big. This gives him an idea, for the fulfillment of which he visits Clovis’ workplace.

At Clovis’ shop, George discovers a machine that can create a 40-foot-tall hologram of any object. Ted takes the machine to the museum, intending to use it to display the idol. En route George causes trouble (unnoticed by Ted) by using the machine to project a giant version of himself cavorting around the city, provoking a re-enactment of scenes from King Kong.

Upon reaching the museum Ted shows the machine to Mr. Bloomsberry. Though Junior tries to convince his father that use of the projector is not honest, the older Bloomsberry sees it as the only way to save the museum. Desperate to build his parking garage, Junior pours his coffee into the projector and gives the rest to George so as to frame him for damaging it.

With the machine ruined, Ted is forced to admit the truth to the thousands of people waiting outside, including Maggie. Angry at him, Ted allows George to be taken away by Animal Control officers and be shipped back to Africa, saying “it’s for the best.” However, Ted’s conscience convinces him that he has made a mistake or wronged his friend, as he confesses to Maggie. Maggie, rather than comfort Ted, tells him that his conscience accuses him rightly and should be obeyed. Ted therefore sets out to retrieve George.

Ted attempts to jump his car onto the departing ship, but lands in the swimming pool of a cruise ship nearby. Hopping on to the retracting anchor chain of the cargo boat, he smashes in a porthole and, with a well-placed blow to the cage’s lock with a fire extinguisher, frees George. While he tries to explain to George that their friendship is more important than any idol, a beam of sunlight passes through the tiny statue, which is in their hands, and creates a pictogram which George notices, displaying the location of the larger version of itself desired by Mr. Bloomsberry. Ted and George therefore travel to Africa in the ship’s cargo bay, to rejoin Edu and find the true idol. This they do.

Upon the exhibit’s re-opening, Ted redesigns the entire museum to be more interactive, thereby igniting the children’s interest in science. Junior is set to work parking customers’ cars, somewhat to his chagrin; by fulfilling this task, however, he earns his father’s praise, which he has much coveted. Ted and Maggie are about to become sweethearts in earnest when George again interrupts them by hijacking a nearby spacecraft. Ted and George orbit the Earth in this craft, which is itself a reference to the book series on which the film is based. The film concludes as they make their second and third orbits at a comically exaggerated speed.

REVIEW:

I do not know much about Curious George. I’m more of a Paddington reader myself, but I do recall a few stories of George and the man in the yellow hat.

This film captures alot of the book’s innocence, but at the same time it gets bit too heavy for its material.

Having said that, this is a very cute movie. One cannot help but fall in love with George and the relationship between Ted and Maggie is priceless.

There isn’t a true villain in this film, but if there is a bad guy, it’s Junior, who just wants to be appreciated by his father. David Cross does an excellent job of bringing him to life.

I do not care for the animation of this picture, though. Nor do I like the overuse of CGI, but the soundtrack by Jack Johnson makes up for it a little bit.

As I said before, this is a good family film. Nothing fancy about it, just something you can watch if you’re 8 or 800 and still enjoy.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Transformers: The Movie

 

PLOT:

Unicron, a space-roaming artificial planet, destroys and eats robot planet Lithone, along with its population. Several of the inhabitants attempt to flee the planet in spaceships but many fail.

It is revealed that the evil Decepticons have gained control of the Transformers’ homeworld, Cybertron. The heroic Autobots are readying themselves on two of Cybertron’s moons for a strike against the Decepticons, preparing a supply shuttle for launch to Autobot City on Earth. Their transmission is intercepted by the Decepticons, who ambush the shuttle and kill its crew, consisting of Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, and Brawn. The Decepticons then attempt to use the ship to infiltrate Autobot City on Earth without being detected.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Daniel Witwicky and Hot Rod race to greet the shuttle. They notice its damaged exterior and spot Decepticons aboard the damaged shuttle, upon which Hot Rod fires at the stowaways. After a brief battle pitting Hot Rod and Kup against the Decepticons Blitzwing and Shrapnel, the Decepticons begin their attack on Autobot City. The outnumbered Autobots, including Autobot City Commander Ultra Magnus, Blurr, Springer, Perceptor, and female Autobot Arcee, fare poorly. Ultra Magnus sends orders to alert Blaster to radio for assistance from their commander and leader Optimus Prime. An attempt to thwart the transmission by Decepticon Soundwave fails, and the broadcast reaches Moon Base One where Optimus is stationed. Optimus Prime and the Dinobots arrive to successfully repel the Decepticon invaders, including the here far-more-menacing Devastator.

Here too, Optimus Prime, almost single-handedly takes down many Decepticon warriors. In an epic clash of the titans, Optimus Prime and Megatron engage in a memorable final battle that leaves Prime mortally wounded (due to the untimely intervention of Hot Rod) and Megatron severely damaged and near-death as well. Prime manages to turn the tide of battle however and defeats Megatron. The Decepticons retreat with their fallen leader and other war-wounded loaded aboard Astrotrain for transport back to Cybertron, on the orders of Starscream.

Inside Autobot City’s walls, Perceptor alerts the other Autobots that the wounds that Optimus Prime has suffered during his battle with Megatron are fatal. The dying Optimus Prime calls on Ultra Magnus to assume command of the Autobots and bestows him with the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, which Optimus extracts from his chest. Optimus asserts that the Matrix one day will light the Autobots’ darkest hour, right before he dies. Back in space, Astrotrain’s shortage of fuel prompts the Decepticons to eject the dead weight of their injured — including the protesting Megatron. This leaves the remaining Decepticons to bicker among themselves for leadership.

Drifting aimlessly, the Decepticon castoffs encounter Unicron, who offers to give Megatron and the others new bodies on the condition that they destroy the Autobot Matrix, which, Unicron says, is the only thing that can stand in his way. Megatron reluctantly agrees, and Unicron uses his power to reformat him into a new form: the powerful Decepticon warrior christened “Galvatron”. His damaged underlings were also reformatted into Cyclonus, Scourge, and the Sweeps. Unicron provides them with a craft on which they travel to Cybertron, where Galvatron confronts and obliterates the treacherous Starscream and takes command of the Decepticons, as his alter-ego Megatron did before him.

Back on Earth, the Autobots are alerted as Unicron consumes Cybertron’s two moons, along with Autobots Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper and Daniel’s father Spike (who are ultimately rescued). Galvatron leads the Decepticons in another assault on Autobot City. The Autobots board a pair of shuttles and flee toward their threatened planet of Cybertron. Hot Rod, Kup and the Dinobots are shot down over the planet Quintessa, while Ultra Magnus and company evade their pursuers and set down on the planet of Junk for repairs.

Captured by Quintessa guardsmen, Hot Rod and Kup witness the sentencing and execution of Orbilus and are then subjected to a trial by Quintesson executioners. Before the trial, they see Kranix, now Lithone’s last survivor, who then tells them about Unicron, before he’s taken away by the Quintessa guardsmen to be fed to the Sharkticons. At the trial, Hot Rod and Kup battle the Sharkticons with difficulty, but luckily, they are rescued only by the arrival of the Dinobots. Grimlock intimidates the Sharkticons to rebel against the Quintessons with ease, while the Autobots escape. With help from the Dinobots’ new ally, Wheelie, the group locate a ship and depart for the planet to join the other Autobots.

Meanwhile, Galvatron finds and hunts down the Autobots on Junk. Ultra Magnus tries but fails to awaken the Matrix’s powers, and then is destroyed by the Sweeps. Galvatron steals the Matrix, stating that he intends to use it to make Unicron his slave. The remaining Autobots are harassed by hostile Junkion natives, led by Wreck-Gar, until Hot Rod’s party touches down to befriend them. The Junkion allies repair Ultra Magnus and volunteer a vessel to help the Autobots fight against Unicron.

Back in space, Galvatron attempts to subjugate Unicron using the Matrix but is unable to unleash its power. Unicron, seeing that Galvatron is underestimating him, transforms into a huge planet-sized robot and attacks Cybertron. As protest against this, Galvatron opens fire on Unicron, but Unicron simply swallows him up. Decepticon defenders scramble to counter Unicron’s attack, to no avail. As the Autobots reach the scene, Hot Rod crashes his ship into through the giant’s eye and finding themselves separated within Unicron’s body. At that time, Wreck-Gar and his Junkions fight back against Unicron, but Unicron crushes their only ship, however they survive.

Inside, Hot Rod fights the recently consumed Galvatron. Hot Rod secures his grip on the Matrix, and the power of The Matrix is unleashed, transforming him into Rodimus Prime. Rodimus unleashes its power to destroy Unicron from within, but not before he throws Galvatron deep into space. Rodimus leads the other Autobots out of Unicron’s body before it explodes, sprawling parts of the giant across the galaxy. Reclaiming Cybertron, the victorious Autobots declare the beginning of a new age of peace and happiness. The movie ends with Unicron’s monstrous head circling Cybertron, a dark replacement for the two moons that once existed.

REVIEW:

As a huge fan of the Transformers, I can remember when this film came out and feeling like a piece of me taken away when Optimus Prime was killed. Now, I look at this film, and appreciate how revolutionary his death was. The same goes for the others that died. Ironically, the reverse of those that died in the 2007 film.

Unicron is one impressive creation, and having Orson Wells voice him, in his last role, nonetheless, just makes him more menacing. Arcee is a waste of animation, though. I fully believe they made her just to appease the female fans.

Hot Rod is partially responsible for Prime’s death, but the way the film plays out, that could have been done for a reason, as he is the one who ultimately saves the day and assumes leadership of the Autobots.

There is rampant speculation to this day over which Decepticon became Cyclonus, Skywarp or Bombshell. As many times as I’ve seen this movie, I go back and forth on which. This time I have to say Bombshell, but next time I see it, I may go with Skywarp.

When this movie was initially released, it got mostly negative reviews. Since then, its become a cult favorite. I suppose it was just before its time.

One thing I have a bit of an issue with is the voice cast. They brought in many big name voices, but these actors didn’t stick around for the series. It wouldn’t have been any better or worse with the normal voice actors. Orson Wells, excluded, of course.

I highly recommend this. Transformer fans more than likely have this movie memorized, but for those that are getting to know the TF universe or what 80s movies were like, then this is a must see.

5 out of 5 stars

Fight Club

PLOT:

The narrator (Edward Norton) is an automobile company employee who travels to accident sites to perform product recall cost appraisals. His doctor refuses to write a prescription for his insomnia and instead suggests that he visit a support group for testicular cancer victims in order to appreciate real suffering. By attending the group, the narrator feels distraught at the condition of these ill fated people and breaks down. He is then able to sleep soundly and subsequently fakes more illnesses so he can attend other support groups in order to get out his pent up emotions through crying. The narrator’s routine is disrupted when he begins to notice another impostor, Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter), at the same meetings and his insomnia returns.

During a flight for a business trip, the narrator meets Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), who makes and sells soap. The narrator arrives home to find his apartment has been destroyed by an explosion. He calls Tyler and meets him at a bar. Tyler agrees to let the narrator stay at his home on the condition that the narrator hits him. The narrator complies and the two end up enjoying a fist fight outside the bar. The narrator moves into Tyler’s dilapidated house and the two return to the bar, where they have another fight in the parking lot. After attracting a crowd, they establish a ‘fight club’ in the bar’s basement.

When Marla overdoses on Xanax, she is rescued by Tyler and the two embark upon a sexual relationship. Tyler tells the narrator never to talk about him with Marla. Under Tyler’s leadership, the fight club becomes “Project Mayhem,” which commits increasingly destructive acts of anti-capitalist vandalism in the city. The fight clubs become a network for Project Mayhem, and the narrator is left out of Tyler’s activities with the project. After an argument, Tyler disappears from the narrator’s life and when a member of Project Mayhem dies on a mission, the narrator attempts to shut down the project. Tracing Tyler’s steps, he travels around the country to find that fight clubs have been started in every major city, where one of the participants identifies him as Tyler Durden. A phone call to Marla confirms his identity and he realizes that Tyler is an alter ego of his own split personality. Tyler appears before him and explains that he controls the narrator’s body whenever he is asleep.

The narrator faints and awakes to find Tyler has made several phone calls during his blackout and traces his plans to the downtown headquarters of several major credit card companies, which Tyler intends to destroy in order to cripple the financial networks. Failing to find help with the police, many of whom are members of Project Mayhem, the narrator attempts to disarm the explosives in the basement of one of the buildings. He is confronted by Tyler, knocked unconscious, and taken to the upper floor of another building to witness the impending destruction. The narrator, held by Tyler at gunpoint, realizes that in sharing the same body with Tyler, he is the one who is actually holding the gun. He fires it into his mouth, shooting through the cheek without killing himself. The illusion of Tyler collapses with an exit wound to the back of his head. Shortly after, members of Project Mayhem bring a kidnapped Marla to the narrator and leave them alone. The bombs detonate and, holding hands, the two witness the destruction of the entire financial city block through the windows.

REVIEW:

By even reviewing this, I’m breaking the first rule of Fight Club, which is, “You do not talk about Fight Club.” However, I have to say, this is a pretty good movie. I can see why it’s developed such a cult following.

Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are two very talented actors and they’re roles in this film really show some of their acting chops. One thing about Norton, though, every movie I’ve seen him in, with the exception of American History X, he’s had a split personality or some variation of it. This is no exception.

This is more a movie for the guys, no doubt about it, but ladies no doubt will enjoy the scenes with bare chested, sweaty men.

Helena Bonham Carter, while doing a good job, is wasted in this role, both in terms of talent and beauty. Jared Leto’s role could have been bigger, but now that I think about it, this was one of his earlier roles.

I did not know this was based on a book. Now that I’ve seen it a couple of times, I may go read it, then watch it again.

This movie has light moments, fighting scenes, and an unexpected ending. If those types of things appeal to you, then I recommend this to you very highly.

4 out of 5 stars