PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):
In 1996, student and star athlete Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) is being honored at his high school’s senior assembly. Halfway through Joyner’s speech, Trevor Olson (Dylan Boyack) and his friends grab shy, overweight student Robbie Wheirdicht (Sione Kelepi) from the boy’s locker room and throw him into the assembly naked. Only Joyner and his girlfriend, Maggie Johnson (Danielle Nicolet), are sympathetic towards Wheirdicht, who runs away quickly after Joyner has given him his varsity jacket to cover his private parts. Everyone else, including the bullies, laugh, and the devastated Robbie dropped out of school and disappeared after the incident.
Twenty years later, Joyner is married to Maggie Johnson and works as a forensic accountant but is dissatisfied with his career. Maggie suggests they see a therapist to salvage their deteriorating marriage. At work, Joyner receives a friend request on Facebook from a man named Bob Stone, who reveals that he is Wheirdicht and requests that they meet. Joyner is shocked to see that Wheirdicht (Dwayne Johnson) has transformed into a muscular, confident man. Stone asks Joyner to review a few accounting records. Joyner deciphers the records as multi-million dollar transactions from an auction, with the final payment set to be made the following day. Stone avoids Joyner’s questions and spends the night on his couch.
The next morning, a group of CIA agents led by Pamela Harris (Amy Ryan) arrive at Joyner’s house in search of Stone, who escapes and erases all traces of his presence. Harris tells Joyner that Stone is a dangerous rogue agent who intends to sell satellite codes to the highest bidder. Soon after, Stone abducts Joyner and explains that he is trying to stop a criminal known as the Black Badger from selling the codes but needs Joyner’s skills to find the coordinates of the deal’s location. After an attack by a bounty hunter, Joyner flees and calls Maggie, telling her to meet him at the marriage counselor’s office. Harris intercepts him and tells him that Stone murdered his partner Phil Stanton and is the Black Badger himself. She warns him to refrain from telling Maggie and gives him a device to alert them to Stone’s location. Joyner then arrives for marriage counseling, where he finds Stone posing as the counselor (the real counselor bound and gagged with duct tape in the office closet by Stone).
Stone convinces Joyner to help him, and Joyner sets up a meeting with Olson (Jason Bateman) who is able to track the offshore account for the auction, so they can get the deal’s location. Olson at first apologizes for his behavior 20 years ago, but then reveals that he was only kidding them and bullies Stone again who is unable to react despite Joyner encouraging him to punch Olson for this. Harris calls Joyner and threatens to arrest Maggie if he fails to help them detain Stone. Joyner is forced to betray Stone, and the CIA arrests him. As Harris tortures Stone to get him to confess, Joyner decides to help Stone escape. Joyner deduces that the deal is happening in Boston and helps Stone steal a plane. At an underground parking garage, where the deal is assumed to be taking place, Stone enters alone, while Joyner sees Harris entering a short while later. He mistakenly assumes that she is the Black Badger and runs after her, only to find Stone meeting with the buyer and claiming to be the Black Badger. Stone shoots Joyner, grazing his neck, to keep him safe.
Stanton (Aaron Paul) arrives, revealing that he is alive, and claims he is the real Black Badger. The buyer attempts to retrieve codes from both Stone and Stanton, but the CIA arrives and a shootout begins, while Joyner grabs both codes and runs outside. He encounters Stone and Stanton, who engage in combat. Unable to decide who is the criminal, Joyner randomly shoots Stone, but Stanton confesses that he is the Black Badger and that Stone is innocent. Joyner causes a distraction by backflipping over Stanton, allowing Stone to rip Stanton’s throat out, killing him. The two deliver the codes to Harris, who then drops them off at their high school reunion, where Joyner reconciles with Maggie. Stone is announced as the Homecoming King, with Joyner revealing to Maggie that he hacked the voting system to ensure Stone’s win. Olson attempts to bully Stone a third time, but Stone knocks him out. As Stone delivers his speech, he relives his most embarrassing high-school moment and takes off all his clothes confidently. He walks off stage to unite with his high-school crush Darla McGuckian (Melissa McCarthy), a formerly cross-eyed girl. Stone, Joyner, and everyone else dance.
Before the ending credits, some time after the meeting, Maggie is pregnant and Joyner has joined the CIA. As a gift for his first day on the job, Stone gives Joyner back his varsity jacket from high school.
REVIEW:
Laurel & Hardy. Oscar & Felix. Ren & Stimpy. These are a few of the inummerate odd comedy couples we have seen over the years. Enter Johnson & Hart. A true odd pairing if there is one. Do they have the chemistry and comedic timing to make Central Intelligence a winner?
What is this about?
When a career accountant reconnects with a former classmate who now works as a CIA operative, the mild-mannered number-cruncher soon finds himself waist deep in a lethal counterespionage operation.
What did I like?
From geek to chic. We all know that one guy or girl we grew up with that was made fun of because of their looks. Fast forward to today and they’re laughing at everyone because they got hot. I love these kind of stories, especially when they work out for the best. Johnson’s character was a fat schlub who got embarrassed at an assembly by being dragged out there in the nude. 20 yrs later he’s tall, buff and a CIA agent. Can’t get much better than that, right?
1996. Speaking of 20 yrs ago, this film really speaks to me, especially when they touch on how Hart’s character isn’t where he thought would be when he graduated high school. As a fellow member of the class of ’96, and someone in the same boat, I feel his pain. In another vein, I didn’t get to go to my reunion because of work commitments and watching this reunion made me wonder how my classmates have changed over the years. I’ve seen the pictures on facebook, but I wonder how they look in person.
Guessing game. For a spy film, there needs to be a little bit of mystery. This film delivers by keeping us guessing as to who the “bad guy” is until the last act, where another big surprise is revealed. I’ve read some scathing reviews about this flick and, whether I agree with them or not, I can’t help but give props to how they were able to keep the audience on their toes.
What didn’t I like?
Bully tactics. I may be trying to read too much into this, but how is it that there were no repercussions for the group of boys that tossed Johnson’s character butt naked out in the middle of an assembly. There had to have been some punishment for that mental anguish that was caused to everyone for seeing that. Instead, we see the leader of the group somehow works in the same building as Hart and isn’t the slightest bit remorseful. *SIGH*
Mental case. Perhaps it is just me, but Johnson’s character seems to be a little…off. What brings me to this conclusion? Well, he seems to have an unnatural obsession with Hart’s character. Not in a homosexual way, but more in the stalker type way. For instance, to save him from further embarrassment, Hart covers Johnson at the assembly with his letterman jacket. A jacket which he never got back. Also, even though this was the only real interaction they had, Johnson used Hart as his emergency contact. Need I go on? Somehow this was never even mentioned in the film, though.
Storytime. Truthfully speaking, the story isn’t the best. I say this because of the weakness of the entire script. Were it not for the chemistry and comedic abilities of Johnson & Hart, I doubt this film would have even semi worked. The CIA angle was too convoluted for a comedy and there were holes big enough to drive a tank through when it comes to the certain plot lines such as the aforementioned bully angle.
Final verdict on Central Intelligence? I found this to be a much more enjoyable film than what I was expecting. The few action scenes are great, the chemistry between Johnson and Hart can’t be beat, and Johnson’s charisma as the lovable schlub turned hunk is perfect for the tone of this film. Do I recommend this film? Yes, though I wouldn’t rush to see it. If you feel like waiting for it to show up on FX or TBS, it won’t be a loss. Still, give it a shot sometime!
3 3/4 out of 5 stars
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