The Huntsman: Winter’s War

PLOT:

Freya the Ice Queen (Emily Blunt) brings her sister Ravenna (Charlize Theron) back to life, and the powerful evil siblings plan to conquer the Enchanted Forest. Only the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) and his secret lover Sara (Jessica Chastain) can stop them in this sequel continuing the inventive twist on the Snow White fable.

What people are saying:

“The Huntsman: Winter’s War is visually arresting and boasts a stellar cast, but neither are enough to recommend this entirely unnecessary sequel” 2.5 stars

“When people gripe about Hollywood’s reliance on sequels and cheap franchise cash-ins, this is the kind of movie they mean: no Grimm’s Fairy Tale, but a grim tale nonetheless.” 2 stars

“Visually beautiful with all kinds of now-typical fantasy action, “The Huntsman” is that pretty but dumb date we all wanted, but knew wouldn’t be good for very long. I enjoyed it for what it was, and truly the visual effects are stunning and creative, but the plot was paper-thin (even as the writers tried to contrive a complicated story by pushing a lot of plot lines in quick sequence).” 3 stars

“If you can get past Chris Hemsworths terrible Scottish accent this is a lot better than the Snow White film. I suspect that’s mainly down to the lack of the abysmal Kristen Stewart. This is quite fun and pretty to look at (I’m including Mr Hemsworth in that), and Sheridan Smith, Nick Frost and Rob Bryden add some much needed comedy element! ” 3 stars

“The Huntsman: Winter’s War is an unnecessary sequel that wastes its talented cast. Why did these actors do this movie? They are all better than this. Chris Hemsworth and Jessica Chastain are only in this for the paycheck. Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron overdo it as the villains. Thankfully, Theron camps it up with her performance, making her performance the most fun to watch. Unfortunately, there isn’t any emotional attachment to these characters. You just don’t care about them. The plot is generic and boring. The script is terrible. They try to do humor in this film, and it fails miserably. The action is fine, but it just isn’t exciting. Overall, there really isn’t any point to this movie. These excellent actors are trapped in a movie with a lazy script and dull action.” 1 1/2 stars

A Million Ways to Die in the West

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 1882, in the town of Old Stump, Arizona, a cowardly sheep farmer named Albert Stark is dumped by his beloved girlfriend Louise as a result of his withdrawal from a duel. He prepares to leave for San Francisco, believing that the frontier holds nothing for him. Meanwhile, infamous outlaw Clinch Leatherwood robs and kills an old prospector for a nugget of gold. He orders one of his men, Lewis, to escort his wife Anna to Old Stump to lie low while he continues his banditry. Lewis and Anna arrive in Old Stump under the guise of two siblings intending to build a farm, but Lewis is arrested after shooting a man in a saloon. During the ensuing brawl, Albert saves Anna from being crushed by two of the brawlers and the two form a friendship. They attend a county fair at which Louise’s new boyfriend, the foppish Foy, challenges Albert to a shooting contest. Albert is defeated, but Anna steps up and defeats Foy. Foy insults Albert, who angrily challenges Foy to a duel in a week’s time.

Anna teaches Albert how to shoot. During a barn dance the night before the duel, Anna slips Foy a Mickey. After leaving the dance, Albert and Anna kiss before heading home. Upon breaking out of jail and murdering the sheriff, Lewis sees the kiss and reports it to Clinch. On the day of the duel, Foy arrives late and goes into convulsions due to the laxative he had unknowingly imbibed. Albert, who has decided that Louise is not worth the trouble, once again forfeits the duel. He retires to the saloon, but Clinch arrives and demands to know who kissed his wife. When no one comes forward, Clinch shoots a nearby cowboy. He reveals that Anna is his wife and threatens to continue killing unless his wife’s lover duels him at noon the next day. Clinch later compels Anna to reveal Albert’s name and then prepares to have sex with her, but she knocks him unconscious and escapes.

Anna returns to Albert’s farm where he confronts her. Clinch pursues Anna to the farm and recaptures her, but Albert escapes. While fleeing, he is captured by a tribe of Indians who threaten to burn him to death. The Indians spare him when he reveals that he can speak their language. They give him a bowl of peyote, which sends him flashing back to his birth and through traumatic events of his childhood before making him realize that he loves Anna. Albert returns to Old Stump and confronts Clinch. He wounds Clinch with a bullet poisoned with rattlesnake venom before having his own gun shot out of his hand, but manages to stall until Clinch lethally succumbs to the poison. Louise attempts to win back Albert, but he rejects her and instead enters a relationship with Anna. Albert also receives a bounty for killing Clinch and uses the money to buy more sheep.

At the fair, the proprietor of a racially charged shooting game asks who would like to take a shot. Django Freeman steps up and shoots the man while commenting that a lot of people die at the fair.

REVIEW:

If you know anything about the old west, then you are more than aware of the plenitude of dangers that awaited anyone living our there during those hard times. The title, A Million Ways to Die in the West, is an allusion to that, but does the film represent the varying ways one can meet their end, or is it just a title that supposedly sounds good?

What is this about?

After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. But Albert’s new solidity is put to the test when the woman’s criminal husband rides into town.

What did I like?

Subject matter. I think we all have a certain period in time that we are all fascinated with, be in Medieval times, the 80s, the Swing/WWII era, the Disco era, etc. For Seth McFarlane, it appears he has an affinity for the old west, as this film is a love letter to not only the great movies based on that period of American history, but also the actual events and way of life people endured. On top of that, this is a comedy. To my knowledge, I don’t believe there has been a comedy about the west since Blazing Saddles, so kudos to McFarlane for bringing something back to the table.

Specific set of skills. Liam Neeson seems to have become pigeon-holed as an action hero here in the last few years. I say this because in every film he’s done since the original Taken, he has been playing a version of the same guy, and of course in The A-Team, he was just a bad ass! I think what we’ve all forgotten, though, is that Neeson is a highly capable actor with great range…and he’s Irish. With this role, he was able to not only remind us of his natural accent, but also have some fun playing the bad guy for once. It was a nice change of pace for him because, from what I hear, in his last couple of films he has just been looking bored with doing the same stuff over and over again.

Supporting cast (and cameos). Say what you will about Seth McFarlane, the guy known how to bring in some talent. Think about how many big names have guest starred on Family Guy, American Dad, and even The Cleveland Show. Also, this is a guy that was able to get permission from George Lucas to do those Star Wars specials, which was no easy feat. So, it should come as no surprise that he was able to land a great supporting cast for this film, each bringing something special to the table, be it as a rival for McFarlane’s character, comic relief, or what have you. Also, there are a couple of cameos. I won’t spoil them, but when you see them you’ll be giddy as a school girl. They are totally out of place, but are nice just the same.

What didn’t I like?

Racist. With Seth McFarlane’s brand of humor, he usually inserts a race joke or two in just to spice things up. That’s fine, I have no problem with that. However, I do have an issue when you have a blatant racist machine that has the customer shooting runaway slaves, who are eating watermelon, btw. Also, in the barn dance scene, when talking to Charlize Theron’s character about her bustle, he makes an off-hand joke that alludes to the notion that black guys like big butts. Granted, the second one is more of a stereotype, but I don’t believe either of these should have even been thought of as funny, let alone filmed, even if the machine gets its comeuppance by a certain cameo at the end of the film.

Extended Family Guy. I can’t help but feel that this was initially written as a special episode of Family Guy. It has that vibe to it. McFarlane just probably thought it was such a brilliant ideas that it needed to be brought to the big screen. I will give him that. This is a good idea, in concept, but the execution is lacking. I was half expecting there to be cutaways in some of these scenes. Perhaps it would have done better as an episode, rather than a film.

Go East, young man! For someone who says they love the west so much, McFarlane sure doesn’t waste any time criticizing it. As a matter of fact, every chance he gets, he makes it a point to have his character say bad things about the west, killing any illusion that we may have, despite knowing the truth. For me, I wasn’t a fan. The Old West, as we see in the movies, is a fantasy and should be kept that way. McFarlane’s cynical diatribes in this film were nothing more than someone wanting to ruin other people’s fun, to put it simply. Given the title, maybe some narration early on with said diatribe would have worked, but even that would’ve been pushing it, in my opinion.

I have mixed feeling about A Million Way to Die in the West. On the one hand, it gets points for being a western comedy. That joke about Amanda Seyfried’s eyes was priceless. Why wasn’t she cast in Big Eyes, again? On the other hand, a good majority of this film just seems to be petty and cruel toward the west and the story muddles along until the next big joke happens. All in all, though, I had a decent time watching, but I don’t think I can recommend this as something anyone needs to watch.

3 1/4 out of 5 stars

Mighty Joe Young

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Jill Young is seen as a child at the beginning of the film when she witnesses the death of her mother, Ruth Young (Linda Purl) and the mother of Joe, an infant mountain gorilla, at the hands of poachers led by Andrei Strasser (Rade Šerbedžija). Strasser loses his right thumb and trigger finger to Joe, and swears revenge on the gorilla for the damage. Before she dies, Ruth tells Jill to take care of Joe, to which Jill agrees. 12 years later, Jill has raised Joe (who, because of a rare genetic anomaly, has now grown to the size of 16 1/2-feet (5 meters) and weighs 2,200 pounds (1,000 kilograms); as a result, the other gorillas won’t accept him and both are now living in relative peace until a wildlife refuge director, Gregg O’Hara (Bill Paxton), convinces Jill that they would be safer from poachers if they relocate to the United States.

The trio goes to Hollywood, Los Angeles, California and win the hearts of the refuge staff. There, Jill is approached by Strasser, who is now running a fake animal preserve while really selling animal organs off on the black market – who has seen a news report about Joe and is now eager for revenge. At first Jill fails to recognize Strasser as the poacher who killed both her mother and Joe’s, since Strasser hides his right hand in his coat pocket. Strasser tries to persuade Jill that Joe would be better off in his wildlife refuge back in Africa. Later, during a gala, Strasser’s henchman, Garth (Peter Firth), uses a poacher’s noisemaker to scare Joe into a frenzy. Joe trashes the gala, recognizes Strasser and tries to attack him. Joe is then captured and placed in a concrete bunker. Before their departure, Gregg has fallen in love with Jill and he kisses her goodbye.

When Jill learns that Joe may be euthanized, she decides to take Strasser’s offer. She and the refuge staff smuggle Joe out in a truck. On the way to the airport, Jill notices the half-glove covering Strasser’s missing fingers, and realizes who he really is. She briefly fights with Garth and Strasser, then jumps from the truck and onto Hollywood Boulevard, leading to the first of several automobile accidents. Joe sees her and rocks the truck over onto its side and escapes. Meanwhile, Gregg has realized that Strasser is a poacher and goes after both Jill and Joe. He finds Jill, who reveals to Gregg that Strasser killed her mother and plans to kill Joe. They locate Joe at a carnival where he is playfully wreaking havoc. Strasser arrives and attempts to shoot Jill. But Garth pushes Strasser’s gun away from Jill, causing him to fire at a spotlight, which subsequently starts a fire and causes the Ferris wheel to break down. Realizing how ruthless Strasser truly is, Garth says that he quits, but Strasser knocks Garth unconscious with his gun. Strasser eventually confronts Jill and attempts to kill her, but Joe sneaks up behind them and tosses Strasser into the air, where he grips onto electrical wires over a transformer. Short two fingers on the hand holding the wire as he lost his thumb and trigger finger, as previously mentioned, Strasser is electrocuted to death when his grip fails and he falls into the transformer, leaving only the half-glove hanging from the wiring. Later, at the Santa Monica Pier, Joe tries to save a child from atop the burning wheel but the fire burns it down and Joe and the child fall to earth where Joe is crushed beneath the wheel but the child is unharmed. Joe apparently dies from his wounds, but is later shown to have survived. The young boy Joe saved donates money to Jill after hearing her say how they’d need money to buy a new home for Joe and the people who witnessed the whole accident follow suit.

Joe is returned to Africa where Jill opens the “Joe Young Preserve.” In the final scene Joe runs off into the distance, seemingly enjoying his new found freedom

REVIEW:

Sakes alive, this has been a week that makes you wonder what is wrong with people in the world, right? First we have a young man get shot by a police officer which, based on the different races, has exploded into protests. I turn on the television and I swear I’m looking at some historical show about what went on in the 60s. Also, there was a beheading of a journalist, by some radical extremists. Geez, man, can it get any worse than this? I really do wonder. So, how about we go with something extremely light tonight, Mighty Joe Young.

What is this about?

In a remake of the 1949 classic, director Ron Underwood’s Oscar-nominated adventure follows Gregg O’Hara’s quest to capture a two-ton African gorilla and transport him to a California reserve far from poachers.

What did I like?

Give good face. Primates are known to have very human-like facial expressions at times. Joe takes that to a whole new level, as his expressions are actually more expressive than some of the humans. Not only that, these looks come at just the right time as to convey just the right emotion at the time. Whether Joe is CG, animatronic, or a mixture of both, these emotions are perhaps the best thing about him.

Not the bad guy. Bill Paxton has made a career out of being a character actor who has a resume filled with playing the villain. Most recently, he was seen on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as the head of the Hydra infiltration, otherwise known as the Clairvoyant. What a change it is to see him in this role, where he is not that bad guy, but actually is the hero who gets the girl in the end. As good as he is at being the bad guy, had he taken more roles like this, perhaps he could be a leading man today. I’m just sayin’!

King Kong ain’t got… Although this is a remake of a film of the same name from the 30s or 40s, I can’t help but believe it exists only as a watered down, family version of King Kong. All the elements are there, giant ape, wildlife preserve, poachers, climbing tall building in the city, etc. However, the difference is in Joe’s personality, which is very playful, something that I don’t believe we ever saw from King Kong. That slight change makes a huge difference, believe it or not.

What didn’t I like?

Twirl the moustache. Often, I will hear critics refer to villains as “cartoony” or the “twirl the moustache” kind. Well, the villain here is one that I feel belongs in that category. He has everything that you ask for in a cartoon villain. Mysterious European accent, quest for revenge because of something that happened in his younger days, intriguing facial hair…all check. The only thing missing was the black cape and top hat!

We should care, because? As expressive as Joe’s facial expressions were, I had a hard time finding a reason that we as an audience should care whether he lives or dies. There was no connection between him and us, so by the time the ferris wheel scene comes and Joe falls off, it is hard to feel anything for him. Same goes for when he goes on his rampages. Granted, this may just be me and my black hole for a heart, but I felt nothing. He was just a big ape, honestly.

Editing. I have an issue with the herky jerking editing that was done in this film. In one scene, everyone is in Africa, the next they’re on the road to Hollywood. Nothing wrong with that per se, but it almost felt like one of those Family Guy cutaways, where something happens and then the next scene is totally different setting. It seems that Disney was going more for the serious filmmaking side of things with this film, as opposed to something like George of the Jungle, which was a live action cartoon. Better editing would have helped that situation.

Apparently, the little woman loved Mighty Joe Young when it came out, so I have a feeling this will not be the last time I see it, and that’s okay. Truth be told, I didn’t find this to be a horrible film. Some scenes are quite emotional, there’s some action, romance, comedy, and a villainous poaching plot. By all means this should be a great film, but something is hindering it from making that step. I cannot put my finger on it, but I think it might be related to the original, which I will eventually get around to watching. So, do I recommend this? Yes, it is a quality family film that can be enjoyed by all without worries of language, sexual situations, or violence. Enjoy!

4 out of 5 stars

Æon Flux

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 2011, a deadly pathogenic virus has killed 99% of the Earth’s population, forcing the survivors to regroup and scatter across the Earth.

404 years later, in late 2415, all of the survivors inhabit Bregna, a walled futuristic city-state, which is ruled by a congress of scientists. Although Bregna is largely an idyllic place in the destroyed Earth, people routinely disappear and the population suffers from bad dreams.

A skilled warrior, named Æon Flux, is a member of the Monicans, an underground rebel organization who communicate through telepathy-enabling technology and are led by the Handler. After a mission to destroy a surveillance station, Æon comes home to find her sister Una has been mistaken for a Monican and killed. When Æon is sent on a mission to kill the government’s leader, Trevor Goodchild, she discovers that both she and the Monicans are being manipulated by council members in a secret coup.

Æon questions the origins of everyone in Bregna, and in particular, her personal connection to Trevor. Everyone in Bregna is revealed to be a clone, grown from recycled DNA. With the dead constantly being reborn as new individuals and bearing partial memories of their previous lives, their troubling dreams have increased. Cloning was required because the antidote to the virus made humans infertile. Trevor’s ongoing experiments were attempts to reverse the infertility. His ancestors had also worked on this problem. Æon learns that she is a clone of the original Trevor’s wife Katherine, and is the first “Katherine” clone in over 400 years.

One of Trevor’s experiments, Una, was successful: she had become pregnant. However, in order to stay in power, Trevor’s brother, Oren Goodchild, had her killed along with the other members of the experimental group. He ordered all of Trevor’s research to be destroyed. In a confrontation with Trevor and Æon, Oren reveals that nature has corrected the infertility problem and that some women are becoming pregnant. Oren has had them all killed to maintain the Goodchild reign. Æon is forced to go against both her former allies, who want to kill Trevor, and Oren.

She convinces the other Monicans to ignore the Handler and help her to kill Oren and his men. Æon goes to destroy the Relical, the dirigible that stores the DNA for cloning. There she meets the old man who monitors everything. She discovers he preserved her DNA for years, although Oren had ordered it to be destroyed so “Katherine” could not influence Trevor in any way. The dirigible crashes into the city wall, breaking it down to reveal the surrounding land for the first time in centuries. It is lush and fertile, not a wasteland as they were taught.

REVIEW:

Looking at MTV today, it is hard to imagine that at one time all they showed on there was music videos. That’s what the ‘M’ stands for, as a matter of fact, music! In the 90s, they would occasionally show short little vignettes between video shows. Those that are around my age will remember these, Dogboy, Beavis & Butthead (which went on to its own success, including a spinoff, Daria), The Specialists, and the one that perhaps was the most popular at the time, Æon Flux. Brining a character of few words and little known background to the big screen is a challenge, indeed, but was it worth the gamble? Let’s find out, shall we?

What is this about?

Aiming to hasten an uprising, the leader of an underground rebellion (Frances McDormand) dispatches acrobatic assassin Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron) to eliminate the government’s top leader in this futuristic thriller based on the popular animated MTV show. It’s the 25th century, and a rampaging virus has forced the remnants of humanity into seclusion. But political conflict swirls within, and the climate is ripe for revolution.

What did I like?

Re-creation. It has been awhile since I’ve any episodes of this show. I wonder if there are any clips on YouTube? One of the things I do recall was how almost every episode opened with Æon Flux’s closed eye-opening to catch a fly. That is not something you would expect the filmmaker’s to recreate, but they managed to actually do it, surprisingly, showing that they did at least watch an episode or two of the series before they started filming.

Action. A film about an extremely acrobatic and flexible assassin trying to bring down some form of government. Hmmm…will there be action? You bet your sweet ass there is. Now, there isn’t the kind of action where everything blows up, but rather this is the more subdued somersaults across deadly blades of grass type stuff. Still, it works for the film and its characters.

Conspiracy. Overthrowing government is a popular plot device in films, or so I’ve noticed. I’m not quite sure that I’d necessarily call this a government, as much as it is a group of people who have made themselves the rulers because they created the cure for the virus that wiped out the population of Earth. Still, some people are easily corrupted by immense power and think they can rule everything. These people must be stopped, hence the reason for the Monicans and their plan to bring the power back to the people…by any means necessary!

What didn’t I like?

Close, but no cigar. Recreating the wispy frame of Æon Flux for the big screen, let alone real life, was no easy task. The only person I can think of who may have pulled this off better than Charlize Theron would have been Angelina Jolie in her scary skinny skeleton like stage around  the time that this was released. Strangely enough, Michelle Rodriguez was up for the role. No offense to her, but she’s a bit too…um…genetically blessed for this character. At any rate, my issue is that Theron does a good job, but not good enough. Her take on Æon Flux wasn’t working for me, partly because of how she was written, partly because I’m sure Theron insisted on having actual lines, rather than being true to the character and staying mostly silent. Also, the hair was wrong, and what was the deal with Sithandra’s enhancements? Blech! Don’t even get me started on how the costume was altered. I think that was done so that she didn’t look like a dominatrix, though.

Explain! We get a brief explanation near the end as to why the Monicans are being hunted by the scientists/government, but even then you are still left scratching your head. What is the motivation? Is it all because of the DNA that just happens to be floating above the city in a giant dirigible? There are more questions than answers to be found in this film, which isn’t a good thing, as they are questions that should have been answered early on, not before the climax!

Handle this. I’ve seen this move 3 or 4 times and still have no idea why Æon Flux, Sithandra, and I’m assuming other Monican assassins take some kind of pill and are transported to this alternate dimension where they wear some sort of white ritual robe and talk to “the Handler”. Where is she? Why haven’t the scientists targeted her? Surely they have knowledge that someone is calling the shots, right? I don’t recall her from the show, so this was just a bad idea that whoever penned this script brought in, I imagine. Why can’t anyone stay close to the source material anymore?!?

Æon Flux should have been a fun action flick, especially enjoyable by those who are clamoring for a strong female lead in this genre. However, due to severe departure from the source material, bad writing, and even worse and uninspired storytelling, this film crashes and burns. Such a shame for such a great character. It is no wonder she has been all but forgotten. So, do I recommend this? Yes, but only as a weekend afternoon flick. You know, the kind that you watch when you’re flipping through and absolutely nothing else is on? That is probably the only time to watch this, if you must.

3 out of 5 stars

Men of Honor

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Carl Brashear (Gooding, Jr.) decides to leave his lifestyle in native Kentucky in 1948 and the life of a sharecropper by way of joining the United States Navy. As a crew member of the salvage ship USS Hoist (ARS-40), where he is assigned to the galley, he is inspired by the bravery of one of the divers, Master Chief Petty Officer Leslie William “Billy” Sunday (De Niro). He is determined to overcome racism and become the first black American Navy diver, even proclaiming that he will become a Master Diver. He eventually is selected to attend Diving and Salvage School in Bayonne, New Jersey where he arrives as a Boatswain’s Mate Second Class. He finds that Master Chief Sunday is the Leading Chief Petty Officer and head instructor, who is under orders from the school’s eccentric, bigoted commanding officer to ensure that Brashear fails.

Brashear struggles to overcome his educational shortcomings, a result of his leaving school in the 7th grade in order to help his family’s failing farm. He receives educational assistance from his future wife, an aspiring doctor, who works part-time in the Harlem (New York City) Public Library. Brashear proves himself as a diver by rescuing a fellow student whose dive buddy abandoned him during a salvage evaluation that turns into a near disaster. Unfortunately, due to the prevailing racism of the commanding officer (Hal Holbrook), the student who fled in the face of danger is awarded a medal for Brashear’s heroic actions. Likewise, during an underwater assembling task where each student had to assemble a flange underwater using a bag of tools, Brashear’s bag is cut open. Brashear finishes the assembly and successfully completes the diving school, earning the quiet and suppressed admiration of Master Chief Sunday and his fellow divers. Master Chief Sunday is later demoted to Senior Chief by the commanding officer for standing up for Brashear and allowing him to pass. His career begins to wane as he continues to lose his composure around the officers that disrespect his accomplishments, until he is finally demoted to Chief Petty Officer and relegated to menial duties.

The paths and careers of both Brashear and Sunday sharply diverge as Brashear rises quickly through the ranks, even becoming a national hero in 1966 Palomares B-52 crash (Spain) for recovering a missing atomic bomb and for saving the life of Navy crew, while the latter becomes a brooding alcoholic and is displeased with his low rank. The two eventually meet again after Brashear loses his left leg in the atomic bomb incident and must fight the US Navy bureaucracy in order to return to full active duty and fulfill his dream of becoming a master diver. They are successful and Brashear is reinstated.

In the epilogue, it is noted that two years later Brashear becomes a master diver. It is added that he does not retire from the Navy for another nine years.

REVIEW:

I remember in college watching part of Men in Honor when it came on the local movie station we had in the dorms, but I don’t recall ever watching it in its entirety. As much as I remember liking this film, I cannot for the love of me tell you why I never got back to it. Perhaps it is because my dad was in the Air Force and I did AFJROTC in high school and this is a Navy picture. Who knows?

What is this about?

Against formidable odds — and an old-school diving instructor embittered by the U.S. Navy’s new, less prejudicial policies — Carl Brashear sets his sights on becoming the Navy’s first African-American master diver in this uplifting true story.

What did I like?

Story needs to be told. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that just about everyone has no idea who Carl Brashear is, let alone his importance to future African-Americans in the Navy With that said, if I were to ask you who Jackie Robinson was, I bet I would get 1000 word essay on him. My point is that this is a story that needs to be told and I’m glad that these filmmakers had the balls to get it out there.

Cuba. I was listening to a podcast a while back and they were pondering where Cuba Gooding, Jr. had disappeared to. As we can see from many of his films, he is a very talented actor, but he just disappeared. One this for certain, though, he seems to always show up and/or star in these films dealing with racial issues of the past such as Radio, Pearl Harbor, and Red Tails. This is a very strong performance from him. Some have said this is arguably the best performance of his career. It is hard to say this isn’t as you can tell this is a character he really got into and cared about.

Fact check. Other than some dramatization for film’s sake, this is a pretty much spot-on retelling of what happened, according to an interview I read with the real Carl Brashear. We’ve all seen these biopics that are so far removed from the truth they are just shy of being in the same category as Pecos Bill, Paul Bunyan, and John Henry. Thankfully, someone had the good sense to realize that audiences appreciate the real story a lot more than fabrications.

What didn’t I like?

Sorry, Charlie. One critic said about Charlize Theron’s performance, something along the lines of “…it isn’t bad, but she’s just there and serves no purpose.” Really, he has a point. She is gorgeous in this picture, don’t get me wrong. As a brunette with a little more meat on her bones than we see from here these days, she is freakin’ hot…and some of you know how I feel about this era, right? That being said, there was no need for her to be there. She serves as eye candy pretty much, and nothing more. She brings nothing to the story and without her, nothing will be lost.

Pacing. The first 3/4 of the film go by rather slow, but it develops the characters and tells the story. Once Brashear defiantly graduates, though, it seems like there was a rush to finish the picture. Save for the accident that took his leg and the triumphant courtroom scene, one could forget that last quarter.

Rapport. Poor Michael Rappaport. It is obvious he was cast to be some kind of comedic sidekick/comic relief and yet he gets kicked out of the program after a couple of scenes and then we only briefly see him again late in the film. I don’t know if that’s how things went, but I wouldn’t have minded if they would have given him something better and/or more to do. Plus, this film could have used something to lighten the mood here and there.

Men of Honor is one of those films that you would imagine critics would be falling head over heels for, but for some reason they just thought it was ok. Guess other films gave them more money to get glowing reviews. I love this film and highly insist that you see it! With a stellar cast, great storytelling, a but of tragedy, and some defiant courage, this is sure to be something you’ll enjoy.

5 out of 5 stars

Snow White and the Huntsman

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Snow White is the Princess of Tabor, daughter of King Magnus and Queen Eleanor. After his wife’s death, King Magnus marries the beautiful Ravenna after rescuing her from the Dark Army, an invading force of glass soldiers. Ravenna, who is in fact a powerful sorceress and the Dark Army’s master, kills Magnus on their wedding night after noting that men like him exploit the beauty of women and discard them. As Ravenna usurps control of the entire kingdom, Duke Hammond escapes the castle with his son William, but is unable to rescue Snow White, who is captured by Ravenna’s brother Finn. Snow White is then locked away in the north tower of the castle.

Tabor is left in ruins under Ravenna’s rule as she periodically drains the youth from young women in order to maintain a spell once cast by her mother which allows her to keep her beauty. When Snow White comes of age, Ravenna learns from her Magic Mirror that Snow White is destined to destroy her unless Ravenna consumes the young girl’s heart, which will make her immortal. Ravenna orders Finn to bring her Snow White, but she escapes into the Dark Forest, where Ravenna has no power. Eric the Huntsman, a widower who has survived the Dark Forest, is brought to Ravenna, who orders him to lead Finn in pursuit of Snow White. In exchange, she promises to revive his deceased wife, Sarah. Duke Hammond learns that Snow White is alive and has fled into the Dark Forest. William, Snow White’s childhood friend, later infiltrates Finn’s band as a bowman to find her.

The Huntsman tracks down Snow White in the Dark Forest but refuses to hand her over until he knows Ravenna will keep her word. When Finn admits that Ravenna cannot resurrect the dead, the Huntsman helps Snow White to escape, promising to escort her to Duke Hammond’s castle in exchange for a reward of gold. The two leave the Dark Forest, escape the troll and pass through a fishing village where all the women have disfigured themselves in order to escape Ravenna, and where he learns Snow White’s true identity. He then leaves her in the care of the women but returns when he sees the village being burned down by Finn’s men. Snow White and the Huntsman eventually meet a band of dwarves — Beith, Muir, Quert, Coll, Duir, Gort, Nion, and Gus. Muir discovers that Snow White is the only person who can defeat Ravenna and end her reign.

As they travel through a fairy sanctuary, the group is attacked by Finn’s men, resulting in Gus’ death. The Huntsman kills Finn after learning he abetted in the murder of his wife. William reveals himself and helps defeat the soldiers before joining the others in their journey to Hammond’s castle.

Ravenna disguises herself as William and tempts Snow White into eating a poisoned apple, but is forced to flee when the Huntsman and William discover her. William kisses Snow White — whom he believes to be dead — without seeing that she has shed a solitary tear. She is taken to Hammond’s castle. As she lies in repose, the Huntsman professes his regret for not saving Snow White, who reminds him of his wife, and kisses her, breaking the spell; she awakens after a second tear has fallen. Snow White then takes command of the Duke’s army and leads them into battle against Ravenna.

The Dwarves infiltrate Tabor through the sewers and open the gates, which allows the Duke’s army to invade the castle. Snow White confronts Ravenna, but is overpowered. Ravenna is about to kill Snow White and consume her heart when she uses one of the moves Eric taught her on Ravenna and successfully kills her in the end, telling her that she cannot have her heart. Duke Hammond’s army is victorious.

The kingdom is once again in order and peace as Snow White becomes Queen and in the end, Snow White and Eric share meaningful glances, indicating a possible romantic end for Snow White and the Huntsman Eric.

REVIEW:

Remember the days when fairy tales were all about singing princesses, talking animals, and happy endings? Well, if Snow White and the Huntsman has anything to do with it, and I fear it will, those days are numbered. This film brings us a darker tone to the tale that most of us know best from the Disney masterpiece Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but I question whether this change is for the better or worse.

What is this film about?

Snow White, imprisoned daughter of the late king, escapes just as the Magic Mirror declares her the source of the Evil Queen’s immortality. The Queen sends her men, led by a local huntsman, to bring her back. But upon her capture, the huntsman finds he’s being played and turns against the Queen’s men, saving Snow White in the process. Meanwhile, Snow’s childhood friend, William, learns that she is alive and sets off to save her.

What did I like?

Special effects. Say what you will about the film itself, you cannot deny that these effects are one arguably the best thing about it. Starting with the (underused) magic mirror. Instead of a disembodied head, we get some sort of lucid figure that oozes from the mirror, quite the departure from what we are used to. The queen herself has some pretty cool effects, mostly dealing with her magic glass army. Finally, there are the creatures in the forest, fairies, trolls, dwarves (which I will talk about later), and a horse-like spirit. The look of all this is just gorgeous!

C & C. Kristen Stewart may be the “star” of this little picture but, make no mistake, it is Charlize Theron that owns the picture. She gives a wicked queen so evil that she may even make you forget about any other versions. Chris Hemsworth also is a presence to be reckoned with. He doesn’t steal the film like Theron does, but he does prove that he can do more than just play Thor.

What didn’t I like?

Snow White. I don’t care for Kristen Stewart. She is one of these so-called actresses in Hollywood that sleeps with the director or some other higher up and keeps getting jobs, while the more talented thespians are forced to take lesser parts. That point aside, she may have the pale look needed for this part, but she doesn’t have the acting chops. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it is a dead heat between her and Megan Fox as to who is the worst actress in Hollywood today. Her acting may have been the reason why I didn’t really get the chemistry between her and Hemsworth or the sudden change in attitude. Before she bit the apple, she wasn’t exactly a prissy princess, but she wasn’t going off to lead a rebellion, but she waked up and all of sudden she’s Xena? WTF?!?

Vertically challenged…or are they? No disrespect to the seven fine British actors that were cast as the dwarves, or the use of technology that allowed these “full-size” actors to portray dwarves, but how hard would it have been to either totally CGI some dwarves or find seven little people (or whatever the term is these days)? I know that if I were an actor such as Tony Cox, Peter Dinklage, Warwick Davis, or any of the other shall we say, vertically challenged, actors, I’d be more than pissed. Work is already hard to come by, and now they’re shrinking other actors down? That just isn’t right!!!!

Girl power. Enough is enough with this girl power thing! Women are powerful, we get it, but is that any reason to turn a classic fairy tale into what is, as one person put it, “a watered down version of the Lord of the Rings movies”. On top of that, was there any reason to take the love story away from the prince and give her to the Huntsman? Doesn’t that negate everything we know about Snow White? Even further than that, the “fight” between her and the queen wasn’t worth the wait. Snow walked in there like she was storming down to the WWE ring, but then all we get is some scenes with the queen’s glass army and other special effects.

*YAWN* I cannot remember a film that has bored be as quickly as Snow White and the Huntsman. The few redeeming qualities it has are not enough to overcome the slow, boring pace of the flick with characters we don’t really care for. I do not recommend this unless you’re doing a comparison of Snow White films. In which case, I suggest the far superior Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Mirror Mirror or, if you must have something different, Sydney White but please don’t waste your time with this. I certainly wish I could have those two hours back! Yes, I did just say Mirror Mirror is far superior to this one. My opinion, deal with it!

2 out of 5 stars

Prometheus

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

As a hovering spacecraft departs an Earth-like world, a humanoid alien drinks a dark bubbling liquid, then starts to disintegrate. The alien’s remains cascade into a waterfall. His DNA triggers a biogenetic reaction.

In 2089, archaeologists Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway discover a star map in Scotland that matches others from several unconnected ancient cultures. They interpret this as an invitation from humanity’s forerunners, the “Engineers”. Peter Weyland, the elderly CEO of Weyland Corporation, funds an expedition to follow the map to the distant moon LV-223 aboard the scientific vessel Prometheus. The ship’s crew travels in stasis while the android David monitors their voyage. Arriving in 2093, they are informed of their mission to find the Engineers. Mission director Meredith Vickers orders the crew to avoid making contact without her permission.

The Prometheus lands near a large artificial structure, which a team explores. Inside they find numerous stone cylinders, a large, monolithic statue of a humanoid head, and the decapitated corpse of a large alien, thought to be an Engineer. They find other bodies and presume the species is extinct. David secretly takes a cylinder, while the remaining ones begin leaking a dark liquid. A rapidly approaching storm forces the crew to return to Prometheus; Shaw takes the Engineer’s head. Crew members Millburn and Fifield are left stranded in the structure. In the ship’s lab, the Engineer’s DNA is found to match that of humans. David investigates the cylinder and the dark liquid inside. He then intentionally taints a drink with the substance and gives it to an unsuspecting Holloway. Shortly after, Shaw and Holloway have sex.

Inside the structure, a snake-like creature kills Millburn, and sprays a corrosive fluid that melts Fifield’s helmet. Fifield falls face-first into a puddle of dark liquid. When the crew return, they find Millburn’s corpse. David separately discovers a control room containing a surviving Engineer in stasis, and a star map highlighting Earth. Meanwhile, Holloway sickens rapidly. He is rushed back to Prometheus, but Vickers refuses to let him aboard, and at his urging, burns him to death with a flamethrower. Later, a medical scan reveals that Shaw, despite being sterile, is pregnant. Fearing the worst, she uses an automated surgery table to extract a squid-like creature from her abdomen. Shaw then discovers that Weyland has been in stasis aboard Prometheus. He explains that he wants to ask the Engineers to prevent his death from old age. As Weyland prepares to leave for the structure, Vickers addresses him as “Father”.

A mutated Fifield attacks the Prometheus’s hangar bay and kills several crew members before he is killed. The Prometheus’s captain, Janek, speculates that the structure was an Engineer military installation that lost control of a virulent biological weapon, the dark liquid. He also determines that the structure houses a spacecraft. Weyland and a team return to the structure. David speaks to the Engineer after waking him from stasis. The Engineer responds by decapitating him and killing Weyland and his team. Shaw escapes from the spacecraft as the Engineer activates it. Shaw warns Janek that the Engineer is planning to release the liquid on Earth and convinces Janek to stop the spacecraft. Janek ejects the lifeboat and rams Prometheus into the alien craft, while Vickers escapes in an escape pod. The Engineer’s disabled spacecraft crashes onto the ground; its wreckage crushes Vickers. Shaw goes to the lifeboat and finds her alien offspring is alive and has grown to gigantic size. David’s still-active head warns Shaw that the Engineer has survived. The Engineer forces open the lifeboat’s airlock and attacks Shaw, who releases her alien offspring onto the Engineer; it thrusts a tentacle down the Engineer’s throat, subduing him. Shaw recovers David’s remains, and with his help, launches another Engineer spacecraft. She intends to reach the Engineers’ homeworld in an attempt to understand why they wanted to destroy humanity.

In the lifeboat, an alien creature bursts out of the Engineer’s chest.

REVIEW:

This was hyped as one of the best films of the summer, but Prometheus came off as nothing more than a generic sci-fi flick filled with over-prices special effects, half asleep actors, and a subpar script. The mythos of the Alien franchise is also lost on me, as I have never seen any of them in their entirety, to my recollection.

What is this about?

When scientific explorers unearth an artifact that points to the origins of humankind, they’re pulled into the unexpected adventure of a lifetime. But if they falter, the very future of their species is at stake.

What did I like?

Breathtaking. The opening scene in this film is sure to take you breath away with the sheer beauty of the scenery. It reminds me alot of the first time we see Pandora in Avatar. I have to believe that those few moments with this gorgeous bit of nature were meant to be longer, but cut down to get the film going. That really is a shame, because once it does, there is nothing that even resembles this again, thanks to the barren wasteland it becomes.

New-mi. If you are going to reboot a franchise like this, then you sure as heck better get someone who can fill the shoes of Sigourney Weaver. I’m not so sure that Noomi Rapace accomplished that small feat, but she did etch her own path. Her character gives us that mixture of feminine love and affection, while being able to show she’s not afraid to mix it up with some alien creatures.

Refresh. I’m no fan of reboots, but I can at least stomach them, as opposed to remakes. Let’s face it, the alien in this franchise doesn’t have the same shocking impact that it once was. If you were to suddenly see this thing jumping out at you in a dark alley, I don’t think you would be as scared, if at all, as you were back when the franchise started. That is a product of the oversaturation these films have received. Think about how many sequels there have been! With all that said, it is good to know that we are getting the beginning of said creature. Maybe that will bring the intimidation factor back?

What didn’t I like?

Common sense. I fund it odd that these people, some of which are highly intelligent, seemed to have no common sense. For instance, why in the bloody blue hell would you go into a place filled with some kind of strange egg-type structures and then start messing with things? That is a sure-fire recipe for disaster, as this film shows us.

Real boy. I was not a fan of Charlize Theron before this film, and I think afterwards, I’m even less of one. This character she plays was more robotic than David, the android. She isn’t necessarily the villain, but she sure isn’t our hero. I felt she could have brought something more to the table. As it is, her character is just there to be there. Hell, she even interferes in a couple of missions, so you just know she’s such a nice lady now, right? On the other hand, David was totally likable, even though he doesn’t particularly fall into the role of being a good guy, either, but he’s just following his program. What I found odd about him, besides Fassbender trying to make him sound like HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey, is that he may very well have been the most human character in the entire film.

Aliens. There is some debate as to whether this is or isn’t a direct prequel to the Alien franchise. As I said earlier, I haven’t seen any of them, so I can’t really comment on how this relates or doesn’t relate, but one thing is for certain, there is a definite lack of alien life forms in here. I’m not saying this needed to be some kind of alien infestation…yet, but it would have been nice to actually see a few species rather than this oozing liquid and the engineers.

When the smoke clears, Prometheus puts the viewers in one of two camps. You’re either going to love to hate this flick. For me, I didn’t totally hate it, but I’m far from loving it, that’s for sure. As a matter of fact, I was bored through more than half of it. That being said, I can see how people would be interested in it. I’m just not the one. For me, this was just an average outing, nothing more, nothing less.

3 out of 5 stars

Sweet November

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Nelson Moss (Keanu Reeves) unexpectedly meets Sara Deever (Charlize Theron), a woman very different from anyone else he has ever met. His arrogance and ignorance leads to her failing her DMV test. She beguiles him and continually asks him to spend a month with her on the promise that she will change his life for the better. That night, she sleeps with him, and the next day Chaz, (a close friend of Sara’s) arrives and is able to identify Nelson as Sara’s “November”.

Throughout November, the two experience happy times together and fall in love. During the month and their adventures, Nelson examines his life and past and befriends a fatherless child called Abner (Liam Aiken). Eventually, he realizes he is in love with Sara and asks her to marry him. It is revealed that Sara has terminal cancer, Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Because she cannot bear to have Nelson experience her death, she asks him to leave. Sara tells Chaz that Nelson proposed to her. Chaz says that it wasn’t the first time that a man had proposed, implying Sara has had numerous “months”. Sara confirms this but claims it was the first time she had wanted to say yes. She decides she will not continue the relationship to protect Nelson from getting hurt. Nelson complies, but then stages a surprise return during Thanksgiving, giving her gifts that remind her of their happy times.

They stay together for one more day; he posts November calendars all over her apartment walls, saying it can always be November for them. They make love, but the next morning, Nelson finds Sara is dressed. She asks him to leave, with all his calendars taken down. Nelson becomes confused and heartbroken. Sara asks Nelson to let her go so that he will always have happy memories of her and explains that this is how she needs to be remembered. She will return home to her family (who she had been avoiding) and face her last days. The movie ends with Sara blindfolding Nelson (a revisitation of an activity they had done earlier in the month), giving him one last kiss, and then walking away. Nelson then takes off the blindfold in tears, and is later shown at a park they went to on one of their dates

REVIEW:

Now that I  think about it, maybe I should’ve done this last month, since it is called Sweet November, and here it is the end of December. Oh well, it still wasn’t my choice to watch this, but sometimes a man has to appease the little woman, right fellas?

So, if you’ve ever seen any chick flick, then you are more than aware that these things will feature some sort of depressing plot point, usually some kind terminal illness or some kind of odd love life problem. This film goes more along the line of the former, but the latter is there in a disjointed sort of way that manifests itself in the film’s final, tumultuous act.

Let me start by mentioning the acting here. It is pathetic. First off, we’ve come to expect wooden performances from Keanu Reeves, that’s just who he is, so we accept it.

However, Charlize Theron is a great actress, of that there is no question, but here she just seems as if she’s trying to be Dharma from Dharma & Greg. If that was the was, then she accomplished it, however, it didn’t really work for me. Fact is, she got a bit annoying, especially at the beginning.

As horrible as those two were, I was encouraged by the outstanding performance of two guys who are known as villains, Jason Isaacs and Michael Rosenbaum. The biggest surprise comes when we get to see these guys in drag. Let me just say that it will be a true shock for those that see these two.

The story falls flat for me, as well. This thing with the 30 days to “fix” the guy who all of a sudden is supposed to put his life on hold and move in with this random chick seems a bit odd. Top top that off, there is this whole thing where his life seems to all of a sudden spin out of control the next day, just seems a bit to coincidental for my taste. Then, of course, there is the sudden revelation that she has cancer. To me, that just seemed sort of forced in there to make this make sense…unsuccessfully, I might add.

Final verdict of Sweet November? Well, I just learned that this is a remake of a film from yesteryear. That officially makes two unwatchable remakes (and I already hate and despise the things) that Keanu Reeves has been in, the other being The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008). This film has nothing that any guy is going to be interested in, save for Lauren Graham in her lingerie in the film’s opening scene. Everything else is geared exclusively for the female audience, and that is ok. Let the girls have this movie, just be sure there is a box of Kleenex handy come the end. Do I recommend this film? Yes, but only if you’re of the female species.

3 out of 5 stars

The Italian Job

PLOT:

In Venice, Italy, retired safecracker John Bridger (Donald Sutherland) calls his daughter Stella Bridger (Charlize Theron) and tells her that he is participating in what will be his final heist. John then meets up with Charlie Croker (Mark Wahlberg) before setting the heist into motion. Their team consists of themselves and four others: Steve (Edward Norton) is the “inside man”, Handsome Rob (Jason Statham) is a getaway driver, Left Ear (Mos Def) is an explosives expert, and Lyle (Seth Green) is a technical expert. The heist is a success, but Steve betrays them all by taking the gold for himself; he kills John Bridger and leaves the rest of the team for dead.

A year later in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Stella is using her safe cracking expertise to break into vaults as an assistant to law enforcement personnel. The team has tracked Steve down, and Charlie recruits Stella to participate with the team in stealing the gold from Steve since she has the required skill and motivation. The team travels to Los Angeles, California to begin their surveillance of Steve’s house and plan the heist. Meanwhile, Steve attempts to sell his gold through a money launderer, but kills him when the launderer begins asking questions about the source of the gold. However, the money launderer is a cousin of a local Ukrainian Mafia boss, who subsequently seeks vengeance for his cousin’s murder. The team’s initial plan is to have Steve stood up on a date with Stella—who posed as a cable repair woman to get into Steve’s house and locate his safe—while the team would break into Steve’s house, load the gold into three Mini Coopers modified by Rob’s mechanical friend Wrench (Franky G), and use hacked traffic lights to make their escape. However, Charlie is forced to call it off because of a local party, which would witness the heist’s execution. To maintain her cover, Stella goes on the date with Steve, but he figures out her real identity. Charlie then confronts Steve and promises that he will recover the stolen gold.

Now aware that Charlie and his team are alive, Steve makes preparations to move the gold. He obtains three armored trucks and a helicopter from which to monitor the trucks’ transit. To counter the shell game, Charlie uses Lyle’s control over the Los Angeles traffic system to isolate the one truck containing the gold, which Lyle manages to find, and gridlocks the entire city. The team then steals the gold from the truck and escape in their trio of Mini Coopers. Steve and his hired security guards pursue them through Los Angeles, and the team manages to lose them all, except Steve. He follows Charlie, but falls into a trap: Charlie has already informed the Ukrainian that Steve is the man they want, and Charlie gives the Ukrainian a portion of the stolen gold. Steve is taken away by the gangsters, and the team split up the remaining gold and raise a toast to Stella’s father as they leave Los Angeles on the Coast Starlight. During the credits, it is shown what happens to each of the main characters afterward.

REVIEW:

If you’ve seen these little striped cars driving around, y’know, the mini-Coopers, this is the film that brought them fame and popularity. Personally, they are a bit small for me, but to each their own. However, they do play a pivotal role on this picture. I thought, initially, that they would be just a way of transportation, but turns out that they take up more screen time than some of the actors.

Again, I have to say that I detest remakes, but I have not seen the original, so I have nothing to compare this to, so, my opinion is strictly based on what I saw, and nothing else.

The good…look at the cast, Jason Statham, Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Seth Green, Mos DEf, and Donald Sutherland. At the time this film was made, Statham was up and coming, Wahlberg, Norton and Theron were settling in to mega stardom, and Green and Mos Def were realizing that they are best served ding comic roles. Having said that, this cast is phenomenal. The chemistry that exists really sells the story. The last 30 minutes or so, are nothing but pure action, which I love. Of course, I could have done with a few more explosions, but I won’t hold that against them. While the plot of the crime is a bit convoluted, it is impressive, especially when they pull it off…before the deception, of course. What’s even more impressive is how they use the same process to get the gold back from Edward Norton.

The bad…for an action flick, there is a severe lack of action here. As I said, the last 30 minutes or so cram it all in, and that’s fine, but what about the other 90? Save for the heist at the beginning and later escape and betrayal, there’s nothing but a bunch of drama that takes up the rest of the film’s runtime. I’m not quite sure what the deal with the Ukrainians was, even if they do play a pivotal role at the end. I guess if they got a proper introduction and some development, they would make more sense, and not just 3 scenes, total. Maybe it’s just me, but if I had a few tons of gold all marked with a distinctive design of a dancer on them, I’d be finding a way to get rid of that mark, so that they can’t be traced. Norton’s character seems like a real smart guy, so I don’t understand how he missed that.

With all the fancy gadgets and ways they these guys pull off the hesits and adjust their mini Coopers, one has to wonder how long it will be before some real crooks are able to pull this off. I guess if some major city grid is shit down and a massive shipment of gold is stolen, we’ll know, right? I really don’t know why I’ve avoided this film. I guess because I thought it was more drama heavy, as most films involving Wahlberg and Theron tend to be. For the most part, I was right, but I was also wrong. I did enjoy this picture, but I’m not in love with it. The entertainment value is there, but not enough to where I’m going to drop everything I’m doing and watch this again. Having said that, if given the chance, I’d love to see it now and then, but for me, it was just above average.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Hancock

PLOT:

John Hancock (Will Smith) is a drunkard with superhuman powers, including supersonic flight, invulnerability, immortality, and super-strength. Although he uses his powers to rescue people and stop criminals, his activities inadvertently cause millions of dollars in property damage due to his constant intoxication and cynical attitude. As a result, he is routinely jeered by the public and is considered a nuisance by the LAPD. Hancock frequently ignores court subpoenas and lawsuits from the city of Los Angeles to address the property damage he has caused.

When public relations spokesperson Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) departs from an unsuccessful meeting pitching his All-Heart logo for corporations that want to be seen as charitable, he becomes trapped on railroad tracks facing collision with an oncoming freight train. Hancock saves Ray’s life at the cost of derailing the train and damaging other cars. Hancock is jeered by other drivers for causing more destruction, but Ray steps in and thanks Hancock for saving his life. Ray offers to improve Hancock’s public image, and Hancock grudgingly accepts. Ray convinces Hancock to turn himself in for his outstanding subpoenas so they can show Los Angeles how much the city really needs Hancock when they miss him fighting crime and saving lives. When the crime rate does rise following his incarceration, Hancock is contacted by the Chief of Police to help stop a violent bank robbery. With a new costume from Ray, Hancock is released from jail and makes a triumphant return by rescuing a wounded police officer, and foiling the robbers led by Red Parker (Eddie Marsan).

Hancock is applauded for handling the bank robbery and becomes popular once more, as Ray had predicted. He goes out to dinner with Ray and his wife Mary (Charlize Theron), with whom he reveals his apparent immortality and his amnesia from 80 years ago. After Hancock tucks a drunken Ray in bed, he discovers that Mary also has superhuman powers. He threatens to expose her unless she explains their origins. Mary eventually tells him that they have lived for 3,000 years with their powers, having been called gods and angels in their time. She also explains that they are the last of their kind and are meant to be paired. Mary does not tell Hancock the entire truth, and Hancock departs to tell Ray about the conversation. The exchange results in a battle between Hancock and Mary that takes them to downtown Los Angeles, causing significant destruction to the area. Ray, downtown in a business meeting, sees and recognizes his wife using abilities like Hancock’s.

Hancock meets Ray and Mary back at their house. Mary explains that Hancock is technically her husband, explaining that they were built in twos, and that they are drawn to each other over time and great distances. When later intervening in a liquor store robbery, Hancock is shot and wounded. Visiting him at the Hospital, Mary explains that when a pair of immortals get close to each other physically, they begin to lose their powers. She also tells him that she and Hancock have been attacked as a couple many times throughout history, most recently being in an alley in Miami 80 years ago. His skull was fractured during the attack, causing amnesia. To save his life at the time, Mary deserted him, allowing him to recover from his injuries. After her explanation, the hospital is raided by the bank robber Red Parker and two other criminals that Hancock had encountered when imprisoned. Mary is shot trying to defend Hancock as he is able to stop the two men, but is further wounded in the process. When Red attempts to finish Hancock off, Ray comes to the rescue and stops the bank robber with a fire axe. With Mary dying, Hancock uses the last of his strength to flee from the hospital so that their parting would allow them both to heal with their powers. Hancock is now living in New York City, working as a superhero there. As gratitude to Ray, Hancock paints Ray’s All-Heart logo on the moon, giving worldwide advertisement to his cause.

REVIEW:

It’s good to see that Hollywood is capable of coming up with something on their own without going back and remaking a film, taking a classic TV show and attemtping to bring it to the big screen, or using a comic book for source material (very loosely, I might add).

This film starts out very strong, as we see Will Smith drunk and laying out on a bench as some things are basically going on a road rage shooting rampage. Problem is, not long after the film really gets started, they decide to take away this gruff Hancock, and turn him into your typical superhero. Nothing wrong with that, but it just seems that would better if that saved ot for the end of the film. After they do this, though, somehow we get this weird immortal god storyline that confuses the audience, and for me, is really the only flaw this film has. I’ve heard talk that the second half of the film was written by a different team of writers. If so, then they didn’t tie the stories together well enough, because it feels like two completely different films, not to mention the whole immortal part is unnecessarily confusing.

Will Smith is money when it comes to summer blockbuster films. This film didn’t exactly get the best review from critics, but audiences turned out for and loved it. Aside from his name carrying the picture, Smith gives his usual spot on performance. He’s the snarky, cocky guy that he tends to be in most, if not all, of his films. On top of all this, he is incredibly believable as a drunk.

Jason Bateman plays the, I don’t want to say sidekick, but in a way he kind of is as Hancock’s PR Agent. Don’t ask me why a superhero needs PR Agent, but he does. Mix this in with Hancock’s "other", who just happens to be Bateman’s wife and he has to contend with two superhero lead characters while maintaining same kid of voice of reasoning. Amidst all this, he keeps a level head and really is quite impressive from an acting standpoint.

Charlize Theron got on my everlasting nerve in the early part of this film. She came off as the nagging wife who watches the news all day and every little thing that happens freaked her out, so when Hancock shows up at her house after destroying half the city, you can imagine she’s none too happy. Then the next day when she comes home and finds him talking to Ray, she rushes to turn on the news and show them that a warrant has been issued for his arrest. After it is discovered that she has the same powers as Hancock, though, Theron appeared to go from little to no makeup to the whole raccoon eye look. I didn’t understand it. Her character just seemed to be there as a female counterpart to both Ray and Hancock. She nearly dies at the end of the film, yet you don’t really feel anything for her.

What would a superhero movie be without a villain? Eddie Masan fills those shoes as Red Parker, a crook that Hancock defeats and cuts off his hand after getting released from prison. Parker becomes the ring leader for a gang of inmates who break out of prison to get Hancock using psychology. This guy seems to have all the makings for a pretty awesome villain. Problem is, his origin and bio were given to us via newscast and he doesn’t really get to develop. It’s such a shame.

As I said earlier, this film doesn’t gel together, not because its a bad picture, but becuse the different stories are segued well and causesa disconnect. The trailers and ads pumped up the fact that Hancock was a drunk superhero, yet, we only get that for like the first 15 minutes. I felt this should have been more of a focal point of the film, with him getting rehabilitated by film’s end, but that’s just me. Still, I would watch this over and over again, and hope you will, too.

4 out of 5 stars

That Thing You Do!

PLOT:

The film follows the career of the Erie, Pennsylvania, rock band that formed in the middle of the British Invasion. Guy Patterson (Tom Everett Scott), son of a local appliance store owner and a good drummer who idolizes jazz, is involved in a shallow relationship with Tina Powers (Charlize Theron). He is asked by rhythm guitarist/singer Jimmy Mattingly (Johnathon Schaech) and lead guitarist/singer Lenny Haise (Steve Zahn) to substitute for their unnamed beat group’s regular drummer, Chad (Giovanni Ribisi), who has broken his arm, at that night’s annual Mercyhurst College talent show in an attempt to win the $100 first prize. Rounding out the group is the band’s never-named bass player (Ethan Embry). They are to play a ballad written by Jimmy, “That Thing You Do”, which they rehearse in a garage. At the suggestion of Jimmy’s girlfriend Faye Dolan (Liv Tyler), inspired by a comment from Guy, they adopt the name “The Oneders” (pronounced “ONE-ders”), but it is almost always mispronounced as the “oh-NEE-ders.”

At the talent show, Guy sets the beat substantially faster than its original ballad tempo. Although the rest of band struggles to keep up, everybody gets up to dance to it, they overwhelmingly win the $100 top prize, and they get their first paying gig, at a pizza parlor near the airport. After a fan requests their record, they enlist the help of Guy’s Uncle Bob (Chris Isaak), who records songs and sermons for churches and choirs, to record and cut the song on vinyl, which Faye sells at their gig. Talent scout Phil Horace (Chris Ellis) sees them play, buys a record and introduces himself to Guy at the appliance store. Based on Horace’s promise that he will get them radio airplay and performance bookings in big cities like Pittsburgh and Steubenville, Ohio, The Oneders sign him as their manager, despite Jimmy’s initial reluctance to assign rights to his music.

Horace is successful: the song is played three times in one day on WJET and they are booked at a gig in Pittsburgh sponsored by well-known mattress salesman “Boss Vic Koss” (Kevin Pollak). Although the first set is a failure due to a series of technical mishaps, Horace has secretly arranged for a record company A&R man, Mr. White (Hanks) to see the show. He is impressed by their record, buys the band’s contract, signs the band to his employer (the Play-Tone record label), changes the spelling of their name to The Wonders, and decides that Guy should always wear sunglasses on stage and be known as “Shades” as a gimmick. He also arranges for Faye to accompany the band as “wardrobe mistress.” At the same time, Tina (not very impressed with Guy’s newfound semi-stardom) falls in love with her new dentist and dumps Guy.

Alongside other Play-Tone artists, the band tours state fairs across the Midwest, and the single enters and climbs the Billboard Top 100. As the tour progresses, The Wonders go from being the opening act to the feature attraction, even earning band-specific stage decorations. Throngs of teenage girls mob the band at one tour stop. While on tour, Jimmy engages in an affair with aging siren Diane Dane (Chaille Percival). When the song hits the Top 10, the band is ordered to leave the tour in Wisconsin and head for Hollywood to meet Sol Siler (Alex Rocco), the owner of Play-Tone, for a promotional photo shoot. While leaving, security guards stop Faye from accompanying the group (similar to a real incident that happened to Cynthia Lennon in August 1967), but Guy comes back for her. On the airplane, White announces that the band also will be appearing in a major motion picture and, at Jimmy’s urging, doing a recording session for an album, while Faye comes down with a severe cold. Meanwhile, in Erie, original drummer Chad has taken Guy’s place as a salesman at Patterson’s Appliance.

The Wonders then appear as “Cap’n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters” in a film, Weekend at Party Pier, that is actually a beach movie, and Siler turns out to neither know nor care anything about the record business, preferring to discuss himself. Jimmy becomes disillusioned and sulks. During an off day, the bass player abandons the band to visit Disneyland with a group of United States Marines, whose ranks he had previously committed to join. Alone, Guy goes to a jazz club, where he meets his idol, jazz pianist Del Paxton (Bill Cobbs), and drinks with him until closing time. The next day, experienced studio bassist Scott “Wolfman” Pell (Larry Antonino) joins The Wonders for a live performance on The Hollywood Television Showcase. During it, the words “Careful girls, he’s engaged!” are captioned on the screen beneath Jimmy’s image (an homage to “Sorry girls, he’s married!” to John Lennon on the Ed Sullivan Show, which is referred to in the film). After the show, an angry Jimmy rudely tells Faye and the rest of the band that he is not engaged and that he doesn’t intend to marry Faye. Hurt by Jimmy’s callousness and insensitivity, Faye ends their relationship.

At the recording session the next day, the Wonders learn that they are to record songs from the Play-Tone catalog for their album. White promises Jimmy one original song per side of the album, but makes it clear that he wants “snappy” material, not ballads. Jimmy promptly quits the band and walks out. Lenny never even shows up for the session (he went to Las Vegas with a Play-Tone secretary/Playboy Bunny the night before and then married her). White thanks Wolfman for coming, and Wolfman also leaves. With the departure of everyone but Guy, there are no more Wonders, and White declares the group in breach of contract. White reminds Guy that Jimmy is “the talent”, Lenny is “the fool”, but Guy is “the smart one”, and asks about Faye (whom White says “is special”), then leaves. Guy remains in the recording studio alone, as it was his first time in one, and his impromptu drumming catches the ear of Del Paxton, who is recording next door. The two record a jam session where Guy plays a drum routine entitled “I Am Spartacus” while Del improvises an accompanying piano medley.

Back at their L.A. hotel, Guy tells Faye that Del thinks he can make it as a session musician in L.A., and Faye and Guy finally declare their love for one another. (In the “director’s cut” of the film, the jam session results in a job for Guy at jazz radio station KJZZ, which had earlier interviewed the Wonders. That’s how Guy becomes a “permanent West Coast-er”.) In a written epilogue, Guy and Faye remain in Los Angeles, marry the following year and raise four children before moving to Bainbridge Island, Washington, where they found a music conservatory in which Guy teaches Jazz Composition. Jimmy rejoins Play-Tone and records three gold albums with a new band called The Heardsmen (which was Jimmy’s original choice to name The Wonders). Lenny manages a casino in Laughlin, Nevada, but he is now single. The Bass Player is awarded the Purple Heart for wounds sustained at Khe Sanh while serving in the Marines, and becomes a building contractor in Orlando, Florida.

REVIEW:

From what I’ve read and seen in clips, the 60s were a big time for new, up and coming bands. This films captures the rise of a fictional group, but as fictional as the story is, one must wonder (pardon the pun) how rooted in reality it is.

The music takes center stage in this film, and could very well have led to a musical. It is fresh and boppy. You would never know that it wasn’t written in the era.

Tom Everett Scott, Ethan Embry, Steve Zahn, and Johnathon Schaebech did an excellent job of selling the fact that they were a band, and even better, that they were actually playing and singing. As a musician myself, I know how hard it is to fake such things, let alone make it believable.

Liv Tyler is the spark that really keeps this film going. As we’re watching the film we see her drifting from  and being under-appreciated by her boyfriend, Schaebech, and developing a relationship with Scott. There is true depth to her character, and we see it all.

Tom Hanks did a masterful job of writing, directing, and acting in this film. This is a work he can be proud of.

I didn’t care too much for the fact that, as happy as the film’s soundtrack was, the film itself didn’t capture that same feeling. I don’t know if the contrast was done on purpose, but it just didn’t sit right with me.

Giovanni Ribisi starts off the film as the band’s drummer, but after he falls and breaks his arm, he is all but forgotten, especially once they start to get more and more successful. Also, it seems that “Shades” starts to develop an ego at the nationally televised performance and you can see it bother Lenny, but that’s as far as it goes. These are a couple of issues that could have been addressed to make the film a bit better, but I understand they didn’t for fear of making it too dramatic and/or lengthy.

This film was made during a time when it was still fun to go to the movies. There is nothing too over dramatic or dark about it. As a matter of fact, this very well could be a family film when you think about it, but there are some questionable topics that keep it out of that category and give it a PG rating, rather than G. Still, it is an interesting look at the rise of a fictional band in the 60s, and if nothing else, all will enjoy the soundtrack.

4 out of 5 stars

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion

 

PLOT:

CW Briggs is a veteran insurance investigator, with many successes. Betty Ann Fitzgerald is a new employee in the company he works for, with the task of reorganizing the office. They don’t like each other – or at least that’s what they think. During a night out with the rest of the office employees, they go to watch Voltan, a magician who secretly hypnotizes both of them, in order to use them for his dirty schemes. The next evening already, Briggs makes his first robbery, and when he wakes up in the morning he has no memory of it. Things get really complicated when he starts investigating the case.

REVIEW:

I remember hearing mixed things about this movie, mostly on the negative side, so I had to see it for myself. After watching it, I can see how some people would pick it apart. Mainly because it resembles a Bob Hope routine.

Let’s get the negative out of the way. The characters could have been developed better. The majority of the scenes in the movie have either Woody Allen or Helen Hunt in them. Charlize Theron is, well, I’m not sure if she’s wasted or if the role would have been better suited for Scarlett Johansson.hmm…Yes, Scarlett should have played it, she just seems to fit in that time period better, and I honestly think she would have done a better job and not been so unemotional. Who in the world came up with the keywords, Madagascar and Constantinople? Well, I guess it has to be something that can’t come up in normal conversation, but still, it  should have been something more random, like quellish or something. On the topic of hypnotism, I can’t seem to grasp the concept that just anyone can go in and undo the mind control. That’s just me, though.

On the positive side, its set in the 40s, my favorite period of time. On top of that, there’s big band jazz playing in a good majority of the movie. This is the first Woody Allen movie I’ve ever seen, but from the impression I’ve seen of him, this is vintage Woody. Helen Hunt is her typical tough woman role which she seems to have all but trademarked. Dan Akroyd is believable as a shady, greasy, boss who is cheating on his wife.

There are high points and low points of this film. Not quite as funny as they say it is, but it’s not a drama by any means. This is one of those that you may or may not have even heard of, so if you haven’t, I recommend you check it out.

4 out of 5 stars