Archive for March, 2018

Trailer Thursday 3/29

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on March 29, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

Next week is Spring Break around here, so i got to thinking what kind of movies are there about this time off. Sure enough, there is a movie called Spring Break (though you have to sift through all the soft core porn, wet t-shirt contests, etc. to find it).

Enjoy the trailer!

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In Like Flint

Posted in Action/Adventure, Classics, Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Flint is again called out of retirement when his old boss finds that he seems to have missed three minutes while golfing with the president. Flint finds that the president has been replaced by an actor (Flint’s line [with a wistful look] is “An Actor as President?”) Flint finds that a group of women have banded together to take over the world through subliminal brainwashing in beauty salons they own.

What people are saying:

“Although the film crawls with dime-store beauties, there is a noticeable lack of sexiness in it. Women bent on being tyrants evidently haven’t much time for anything else” 3 stars

“…tries to top its predecessor by sending übermensch Derek Flint to Moscow, outer space, and the Isle of Uppity Brassiere Models … sloppy pacing, shoddy production values, and Lee J. Cobb looking like he’s planning a stern call to his agent.” 2 1/2 stars

“Awesome, super spy and Man of Mystery joins forces with an army of super-hot, ’60s, bikini-clad women (who plan to take over the world with a brain-washing hairdrier) to foil a diabolical plot to take over/destroy the world. Yeah … who wouldn’t like this movie? The movie was almost as good as the Austin Powers spoofs of the Super Spy.” 4 stars

“Basically another in the endless series of Bond-knockoffs of the late 60’s, the second Flynt movie (for some reason I keep missing the first one) is fun enough as a semi-parody. It’s nowhere nearly as offensive/dumb as the Matt Helm stuff. Coburn makes a decent superman spy, although his lanky physique makes him look rather ungainly in the fight sequences (only Ted Danson looks more awkward). It’s your basic Cold War type movie with some women who want to rule the world (and *oh the humanity* are betrayed by the military man they put their trust in, played by a fiendish Steve Inhat) tossed in.” 3 stars

“Derek Flint is back, bashing more heads, wooing more lovely ladies, and thwarting more evil. This time, he’s up against an impostor in the government, a rogue military man, and an army of beautiful woman bent on world domination. Is the super cool master of kung-fu up to the challenge? Do you really have to ask? Wild antics, crazy music, and a bevy a beautiful women. They could have kept these movies going for years. But, unfortunately, this was the last (excluding the TV pilot).” 4 1/2 stars

The Boss Baby

Posted in Animation, Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

DreamWorks Animation and the director of Madagascar invite you to meet a most unusual baby. He wears a suit, speaks with the voice and wit of Alec Baldwin, and stars in the animated comedy, DreamWorks’ The Boss Baby. The Boss Baby is a hilariously universal story about how a new baby’s arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator, a wildly imaginative 7 year old named Tim

What people are saying:

“The contrast between the helpless-infant stage of life and corporate-speak is funny but fairly high-concept for a kiddie movie, and the plot grows denser as it goes along and the baby and Tim reluctantly join forces to stop a conspiracy by which puppies would corner all the love in the world” 3 stars

“I’ve seen previews for animated films in the past and gotten the complete wrong impression from them before. That did not happen this time, as this movie looked boring and contrived, and it certainly was that. There’s some cute potty humor, and a few jokes from the alarm clock that made me smile, but otherwise this movie was simple, obvious, and boring. It was very difficult after the climax to sit through the rest of the film… which would be emotional if the movie had done it’s job of making you care about the characters. There’s very little to like here. I’d recommend this to children 4-6 years old? Maybe? ” 1 star

“I could have done without the kewpie-doll faces and oversized eyes, but for the most part and where it counts, gets its kids just right.” 3 stars

“This movie surprised me. I did not expect to like it very much. I thought it would just be a bunch of crude humor but it turned out that the story and the characters pulled me in, and I ended up caring about them very much. I enjoyed that the movie just got better as it went along and ended up being a movie with lots of heart! (the scene with the tons of plastic beads really got to me; it was so touching!) Don’t want to spoil it for those that have not seen the movie yet. Good story about family and love between siblings4 stars

“the juxtaposition between imagination and reality is brilliant, and the story strikes a great balance between hilarity and heartwarming. On the flip side, some elements are overly repeated (I’ll puke if they play blackbird one more time!), the chase & fight scenes are annoying, the story gets a bit complicated for a PG film (not to mention the plot-holes this creates), and there’s so much room to edit this down by a good 15 minutes.” 3 stars

Trailer Thursday 3/22

Posted in Trailer Thursday with tags on March 22, 2018 by Mystery Man

It’s Trailer Thursday!!!

One of the worst fears parents have is that they will have an “evil” child. I saw one of these little monsters in the store last night and it made me think of this movie. So, here is this week’s trailer, Problem Child

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

Looking for an evening of high-brow, intellectually stimulating, cinematic entertainment done with sophistication and panache? Look elsewhere! This riotous sequel has very little plot and scads of deliciously vulgar, politically incorrect and just plain idiotic humor as presented by the master of rubber-faced lunacy, Jim Carrey. As a sort of prologue, the great pet detective is assigned to rescue a racoon stranded on a steep Himalayan hillside. After much danger, Ace manages to reach the stranded critter only to accidentally send it hurtling to its death. Devastated, poor Ace enters a Tibetan monastery to search for peace. His quest is interrupted when a British emissary arrives and begs him to head for Africa

What people are saying:

Nature Calls in this Ace Ventura sequel, and it’s answered by the law of diminishing returns” 2 stars

“Warner Bros. doubled the budget for this sequel in 1995. For their trouble, they got half as funny a film.” 1 star

“The first six unnecessary minutes are skippable. If you didn’t skip it, luckily it’s forgettable as the film goes on, which it’s in somewhat level that it’s better than its predecessor by being funnier.” 3 1/2 stars

“I just discovered that many people and Critics disliked this movie, in reality it is a 4 start movie it is very silly at times, but this is a movie me and my dad have quoted for over 20 years it is hilarious. It is so strange how for the longest time we talked about how much better When Nature Calls was than the first one only for me to find out now that Critics did not feel that way at all. There are way to many quotable hilarious scenes in the movie to not give it a chance, I feel it remains funny throughout the run time, still love it and quote it to this day.” 5 stars

“It’s just as good as the first. This sequel has even more ridiculous moments that are impossible to achieve, but what do you expect in a Jim Carrey movie? It’s just as funny as the first with the jokes but I liked the setting and plot better in the first one. But the humor is just as good.” 4 stars

Furry Vengeance

Posted in Comedy, Family, Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , on March 20, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

When ambitious real estate developer Dan Sanders (Brendan Fraser) relocates his family to rural Oregon to supervise the construction of a massive new subdivision, one resourceful raccoon rallies his woodland friends to fight back and shut down the project. As the battle between man and beast heats up, the hapless real estate developer realizes there are some natural environments that are better left untouched.

What people are saying:

“A thin premise stretched far beyond serviceable length, Furry Vengeance subjects Brendan Fraser – and the audience – to 92 minutes of abuse” 2 1/2 stars

“Almost as much of a relief as making it through to the end is realizing earlier on that none of the creatures will be talking for the duration of the picture. This reduces the annoyance factor considerably for anyone over the age of nine.” 2 stars

“i like the idea that over all time there was a group of animals protecting the forest. but this would have probably been a better animated movie with talking animals instead of the goofy “film” presented. it tries to be funny but it really isn’t because none of it can be taken seriously. Brendan Fraser annoyed the crap outta me, he just couldn’t function. everybody should feel really bad about making this movie the way it was. it would have probably been good if it had been animated” 2 stars

“This wasn’t as good as I was hoping it would be… but it had it’s moments. I love the fact that the animals had such a great revenge. I can’t believe that he got hurt more than five times… and he still lived.” 3 1/2 stars

“A bore from its opening moments right through the lame credit sequence featuring the actors lip-syncing to Cypress Hill’s “Insane in the Brain,” Furry Vengeance would only be worthwhile if the animals of the world took the film to heart and attacked the filmmakers for creating a movie that makes them look like vindictive jerks.” 2 stars

Dead West

Posted in Independent, Movie Reviews, Thrillers/Mystery with tags , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2018 by Mystery Man

PLOT:

An outlaw drives through the West killing all the women who aren’t up to his love standards, until the brother of one of his victims goes after him.

What people are saying:

“Comical. This is what happens when porn actors make a ‘serious’ movie, although it was oddly entertaining. Definitely smoke some chronic and watch with no expectations.” 2 1/2 stars

Dead West takes us deep into the mind of a disturbed, yet charismatic serial killer traveling the country on a murder spree. A revenge thriller turned into a love story, this film is packed with compelling characters brought to life by a cast of wonderful actors. Brain Sutherland, Meagan Karimi-Nasar, and Jeffrey Arrington lead the way with strong performances. Supporting actors Katie Michaels, Bethany Jacobs, Carollani Sandberg, and Lisa Coronado also light up the screen with focused, heart-breaking performances. My only negative is that the pace of this film is a little slow at times. Nonetheless, the story is very compelling and the actors handle the dialogue extremely well and drive the film home to a thrilling finish. The cinematography is fantastic, and director Jeff Ferrell does an incredible job bringing his words to life on the big screen. The film score is also terrific.” 2 stars

“I feel like I just watched a 2 hour porno with no sex. The writing is horrible and the acting is horrible. The woman that played Roxie was good but the rest of the movie is 100% garbage. The leading guy is supposed to be this womanizing good looking man…. he is a freaking pudgy dude that has below average looks and bad teeth. Seriously…” 1/2 star

“I’m not sure what I expected when I played this movie, but about 15 minutes into it I was already wondering how much more I would have to endure. This film has no redeeming value whatsoever. The film was poorly scripted, the acting was awful, the directing was questionable, at best. I’m not sure how this film was funded. I watched all of the way through because I kept saying to myself, “it’s going to get better” or that there is some “twist” that will just grab me. Sorry, nope. What you see in the first 15 minutes is what you get.” 1 star

“It’s pretty grim when you have to click on the ‘See full cast’ tab on the IMDb title page of a movie to find out who the main character was portrayed by. This is a movie that could never have been made back in the days of the Production Code because the murderer gets away with it and presumably lives on to continue his killing spree. The whole thing is kind of silly actually, when you consider that Duane The Ladykiller (Brian Sutherland) drives one of the most distinctive cars one could possibly own, a bright orange Camaro with a black hood, and he’s routinely recognized by any number of witnesses who could provide their first person accounts to authorities at any step along the way. Not to mention the guy had no visible means of support to carry on his cross country hobby. If you couldn’t figure it out early enough, the guy gives away the key to his principal character traits when he takes a pick-up to the Skyline Drive-in and the feature attractions are ‘Maniac’ and ‘Vigilante’. Yup, he was both of them.” 2 stars