Spanglish

PLOT:

Flor Moreno (Paz Vega), a poor, Mexican, single mother gets hired as the housekeeper for John (Adam Sandler) and Deborah Clasky (Téa Leoni), their kids, Bernice (Sarah Steele) and Georgie (Ian Hyland), and Deborah’s mother Evelyn Wright (Cloris Leachman), a rich, white American family. Flor’s daughter, Cristina is played by Shelbie Bruce. Flor, Cristina, and John are very likeable while Deborah is mean, self-centered, and apathetic to her daughter. Evelyn is a carefree drunk.

Flor doesn’t speak English so Cristina translates for her when she needs to talk to the family. Bilingual, skinnier, and overall kind, Cristina impresses Deborah, whom she begins to treat like her own daughter, taking Cristina shopping, getting her hair done, enrolling her in a private school, and showing her more love than her own daughter.

Flor becomes unhappy when it appears that Cristina is influenced by Deborah. This is in part because she wants Cristina to keep in touch with her roots, and partly because Deborah is overstepping her bounds by acting like Cristina’s mother. Flor objects to the family’s overreaching with Cristina to which John is apologetic.

Flor learns English so she can communicate with them better wherein John and Flor talk more and become closer.

When Evelyn realizes that her daughter is having an affair and that her marriage is in trouble, she sobers up and tells Deborah to knock it off because she’ll never get another man as good as John. As Flor heads to their house, Deborah confesses to John that she cheated on him. John walks out, and runs into Flor on the way and they go to his restaurant to “hang out”. They have the “greatest conversation of their lives” and confess their love for one another, but Flor leaves and John never mentions that Deborah cheated on him.

Flor quits and takes her daughter home. She tells Cristina that she doesn’t want her to go to the private school anymore either, upsetting Cristina and causing her to scream that Flor is ruining her life. Flor tells Cristina that it is time for her to decide the most important question of her life: “Is what you want for yourself to become something very different than me?”. Cristina doesn’t respond and on their bus ride home she initially sits away from Flor, but ends up embracing her for the duration of their ride.

The film ends with Cristina as an adult, years later, acknowledging that “all she is today” rests on the simple fact that she is her mother’s daughter.

REVIEW:

Adam Sandler films tend to be more on the slapstick side of comedy, and not so much on the more serious side of things, yet Spanglish, starts out as a light hearted happy film, but ends up a borderline chick flick.

The film’s plot centers around a Mexican immigrant (we’ll say she is) who can’t speak English and becomes the nanny for a well to do chef and his obnoxious, talkative wife. As the film progresses, we get to know more about each of the characters, as they are extremely well developed. We get a conflict based in infidelity, but are left with an ending that feels a bit empty.

Storywise, this is a very strong film, capable of hanging with the “artsy-fartsty” films, but because of it being a comedy, it doesn’t get the respect it deserves.

Adam Sandler turns in a mature performance, yet maintains a bit of his “Sandler-ness”. I was mostly impressed with how he handled his character’s conflict over becoming a 4-star chef and wanting to avoid shunning the little people. He also impressed me with how he portrayed the emotions dealing with his wife cheating on him and the feeling he has for the nanny.

Paz Vega had quite the introduction to US audiences with this film, even if she does look like Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. I’m not sure, but I think she took a page out of Antonio Banderas’ book, and didn’t learn English until she got an American film role. Having said that, it is quite possible that the scenes in which we see her learning English were genuine. If that is the case, then her performance is that more impressive.

Tea Leoni started out as a decent character, but as the film progressed, she took a downturn. What kind of woman bosses her husband around, cheats on him, more or less calls her daughter fat, basically steals her nanny’s daughter, and just makes everything about her? Then when she thinks that Sandler runs into the arms of Vega, she gets all emotional about it, knowing full well that she had been cheating on him for 11 weeks. Stuff like that can earn you a spot on the most despised list.

The word “spanglish” wasn’t an everyday word, I believe, until this film was released. I cannot belive that with the cultural impact this picture has had that it didn’t do that well. I guess now that I think about it, I can. There are more than a few films that bombed at the box office on;y to go on and become cult hits on video or DVD.

Spanglish is one of those films that dances  a fine line between comedy and drama, occasionally tipping over to one side or the other, but never getting to the point of over-seriousness, even in the serious parts. This really surprised me, because I didn’t know what to expect from it. Pleasant surprises are always good, and I hope that after watching this you’ll be as pleasantly surprised and entertained as I was.

4 out of 5 stars

Star Trek

PLOT:

In the year 2233, the Federation starship USS Kelvin is investigating a lightning storm when a massive ship, the Narada, emerges from within the storm and attacks the Kelvin. The Narada’s captain, Nero, orders the Kelvin to stand down and bring its captain aboard. The captain appoints George Kirk as acting captain and departs. On board the Narada, Nero kills the captain after questioning if he knows an Ambassador Spock and getting no reply. Nero orders the Kelvin to be destroyed while Kirk orders everyone to evacuate as he stays behind to provide cover. One of the escape shuttlecraft carries his pregnant wife and seconds before the Kelvin collides with the Narada, she gives birth to a boy while George listens over the comm. They decide to name the baby James. The Kelvin collides with the Narada, killing George, while the shuttlecrafts escape.

Several years later, a young Vulcan named Spock grows up on planet Vulcan and is discriminated against because of his half-human heritage, which leads him to join Starfleet. On Earth, James Tiberius Kirk grows up to be an intelligent, though reckless and cynical, young man. After a run-in at a local bar, Captain Christopher Pike challenges Kirk to emulate his father’s heroism and convinces him to join Starfleet. En route to Starfleet Academy, Kirk befriends fellow cadet Leonard McCoy.

Three years later, Starfleet receives a distress signal from Vulcan that indicates the appearance of a lightning storm in space, and with the primary fleet engaged in an operation, the cadets are mobilized to help crew the ships in orbit. McCoy smuggles Kirk aboard the USS Enterprise. Kirk recognizes the similarities between this mission and the encounter that destroyed the Kelvin, and warns Pike that the fleet is heading into a trap. The Enterprise arrives at Vulcan to find the fleet destroyed and the Narada drilling into the planet’s core. The Narada attacks the Enterprise and Nero orders Pike to surrender himself. Pike agrees, promoting Spock to captain and Kirk to first officer. En route to the Narada, Kirk and Hikaru Sulu perform an orbital skydive onto the drilling platform and destroy it. Nero launches red matter into the planet’s core, imploding the planet into a black hole. Spock rescues some of the planet’s elders, but his mother dies along with the majority of the planet’s population. Nero sets course for Earth and tortures Pike for the command codes to its perimeter defenses.

After a heated argument about Spock ordering to rendezvous with the rest of the fleet, Kirk is marooned on Delta Vega for mutiny. On Delta Vega, Kirk encounters Ambassador Spock, who tells Kirk he is from the future and to save time, relays the future’s events through a mind meld. In the year 2387, the galaxy is threatened by a massive supernova. Ambassador Spock pilots a ship carrying red matter, which will create an artificial black hole to consume the supernova. Before Spock completes his mission, the supernova destroys the planet Romulus. Captain Nero attempts to exact revenge on Spock, whom he blames for the destruction of his homeworld, and his family. Both ships, however, are pulled into the black hole’s event horizon and travel into the past. The Narada arrives first and Spock arrives 25 years later, where he is captured by Nero and marooned on Delta Vega so that he can witness the destruction of Vulcan. Ambassador Spock insists that Kirk must become captain of the Enterprise and the two travel on foot to a nearby Starfleet outpost. There, they meet Montgomery Scott. Ambassador Spock beams Kirk and Scott aboard the Enterprise while he stays on the planet. Once aboard, Kirk deliberately enrages Commander Spock to force him to acknowledge that he is emotionally compromised, thereby forfeiting command to Kirk.

Spock, Scott, and Pavel Chekov devise a plan to ambush the Narada by hiding behind Saturn’s moon, Titan. Once there, Kirk and Spock beam aboard the Narada. Kirk rescues Pike while Spock retakes Ambassador Spock’s ship, destroys the drill, and lures the Narada away from Earth before piloting a collision course. The Enterprise arrives and beams Kirk, Pike, and Spock away before the collision, which ignites the remaining red matter and creates a black hole within the Narada. Kirk offers to rescue Nero and his crew, but he refuses and the Narada is destroyed. The Enterprise escapes the same fate by ejecting and then igniting the ship’s warp drive, with the resulting explosion pushing them clear.

Back on Earth, Kirk is promoted to captain of the Enterprise. Soon after, Spock, while searching for his father, encounters his older self in a hangar. Ambassador Spock is departing to help establish a new colony with the remaining Vulcans. The younger Spock informs his older self of his wishes to leave Starfleet to aid his people. Ambassador Spock tells his younger self that he and Kirk need each other and that he should do what feels right. Taking his advice, Spock remains in Starfleet, becoming first officer under Kirk’s command. Leonard Nimoy narrates the Star Trek tagline to close the film.

REVIEW:

Star Trek has been entertaining nerds…er…fanboys…er…individuals for 30+ years. In that span, there have been at least 4 different series and 9 (not counting this one) films. Since I’m not a “Trekkie”, i’m not up in the Star Trek history and whatnot, but I know the basics. This film takes those facts and reintroduces them to new fans and a new generation.

I will never be a Star Trek fan, it just isn’t in my nature, and I’d be betraying Star Wars, but this film was done so well, that italmsot is good enough to convert me. I like how they sring in a new history with all the characters, while leaving the original history alone in a seperate universe, and tie it all together with the use of time travel and Leonard Nimoy. I have respect for these filmmakers for finding a way to keep the old school, die hard fans happy, as well as appeal to the new ones and the mainstram move goers.

Chris Pine steps into the role of James T. Kirk and without blinking, makes it his own. I was expecting some sort of bad Willima Shatner impression or something along those lines, but instead, Pine makes the character his own, capitalizing on the rebeliousness, maybe a bit too much.

Zachary Quinto seems like he was born to play Spock. It is especially weird to see his as a hero when he is best known for beign the villainous Sylar on Heroes, but here he is. In a manner similar to Kirk, Spock is a bit of a rebel, but he is more subdues,and like the original, more logicval and into the facts. Whereas Pine didn’t really show much of Shatner’s influence in his character, Quinto obviously did his homeowrk on Nimoy’s portrayal. He may have even consulted him, since they were on set at the same time.

Eric Bana is almost unrecognizable as the viallanous, twisted Nero, a Romulan who has managed to travel through space and time to get his revenge on Spock. Bana’s performance is pretty good, but it is his ship and the other toys that he uses or commands be used that really captivate the audience, such as the drill that doesn’t allow for communication or beaming up.

Speaking of beaming up, it was good that they included that in here, as well as the “redshirt” getting killed, and some classic lines from the original series, albeit paraphrased, we got the picture.

My issue with the film is that the only space fight part of it was at the beginning, the rest of it seemed to be more about the growth and drama. Since this is an origin flick, that isn’t too badm but if there is a sequel, that stuff needs to be pushed by the wayside in favor of more space scenes.

Another issue I have is that the on;y character that seemed ot have any life was Quinto’s Spock. Pine’s Shatner seemed to be nothing more than a frat boy with a brain who somehow gets to be captain of the ship. Urban’s McCoy is paranoid and schizophrenic. Zoe Saldana is used less in this film, than Nichelle Nichols was in the show. In other words, character development was a problem, but that’s just me being a bit on the nitpicky side.

The Enterprise looked really good. I was impressed. They were saying it was a brand new ship, and the way the sets looked, they had us believing that, rather than some sort of Hollywood sound stage.

Fans of the original series were skeptical about this when it was initially announced, Some even detracted and protested it, but as soon as it was released they soon changed their tune. For me, I’m not one to celebrate remaking anything. I believe Hollywood should come with their own ideas, but this film was so good that you forget about the original series, at least if you’re like me and have on;y seen 1 or 2 episodes of it. Star Trek should be a must see for you, so go see it!

4 out of 5 stars 

Who’s Your Caddy?

PLOT:

When “street smart” rapper Christopher “C-Note” Hawkins (Big Boi) applies for a membership to all-white Carolina Pines Country Club, the establishment’s proprietors are hardly ready to oblige him. Unwilling to accept that the club views him as unfit for membership, C-Note purchases land that contains the 17th green – willing only to exchange the hole for a membership. This sets the stage for an outrageous assault on the country club and its membership committee as C-Note and his fun-loving, streetwise crew disrupt the goings-on at the club with their irreverent attitudes and a back-and-forth prank fest.

At one point, C-Note plans to shoot a music video on the club’s land. That leads the Club President, Cummings (Jeffrey Jones), to offer a bribe to get him to stop, but all C-Note wants is a membership to the club. President Cummings then hires Shannon Williams (Tamala Jones), an uptight lawyer who graduated Harvard at the top of her class. She goes to Christopher’s house, he refuses yet another attempt to bribe him to leave.

As a last resort, she devises a plan to allow him to join the club then to record him violating the club’s bylaws to kick him out while he is on the club’s 4 week probationary period. On separate occasions, he is accused of landing a helicopter on the property, bringing a gun onto the golf course and driving recklessly on the way to the golf course. Eventually, all the charges are proven wrong and C-Note is officially made a member of the Carolina Pines Country Club.

The film progresses with Cummings hiring Big Willie Johnson (Tony Cox) to kill C-Note. Eventually Cummings challenges C-Note and Mick to an 18 hole match of golf, and C-Note accepts. On the day of the match, C-Note is surprised to see that Cummings hired and flew in professional golfer and 5-time PGA Tour winner Jesper Parnevik (who plays himself) to play on his team. After 9 holes, Parnevik and Cummings are up four holes, but after a pep-talk by Caddy Mack, they are able to rally on the back 9, and win by C-Note holing his second shot on the 17th hole from 230 yards over water with his driver. Soon after, Cummings is arrested for conspiracy to murder, and C-Note is named owner of Carolina Pines Golf and Polo Club.

REVIEW:

Quite honestly, there isn’t much to this film. It is your typical low-budget flick about an African-American who wants to stick it to the white man and the differences in their cultures. ITs been done many times before. The only difference this time is the golf. Since I’m not the biggest fan of golf, I can’t really comment on this, other than to say that when Big Boi was putting, it looked more like he was trying to play baseball, rather than golf. This film is so predictable that is loses what little bit of entertainment value it has. Having said that, there are a few funny moments, bit not enough to waste your time with this film. Who’s Your Caddy? is so bad, that it truly is bad. If not for a few good acting performances, this would go down as one of the worst films of all time.

2 out of 5 stars

A Christmas Carol

PLOT:

On Christmas Eve in Victorian England, Ebenezer Scrooge, a bitter and miserly old moneylender, holds everything that embodies the joys and spirit of Christmas in contempt, refusing to visit his cheerful nephew Fred’s Christmas dinner party with his family, and forcing his underpaid employee Bob Cratchit to beg to take the day off for his own family. That night, Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his former business partner, Jacob Marley, who had died seven years prior on Christmas Eve and is now forced to spend his afterlife carrying heavy chains forged from his own greedy ways. Marley warns Scrooge that he will suffer an even worse fate if he doesn’t repent, and foretells that he will be haunted by three spirits that will help guide him.

The first spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Past, shows Scrooge visions of his own past that take place on or around the Christmas season, reminding him of how he ended up the greedy man he is now. He had spent much of his childhood neglected by his father over the holidays at boarding school until he was finally brought home by his loving sister Fan, who died prematurely after giving birth to his nephew Fred. Scrooge later began a successful career in business and moneylending and became engaged to a woman named Belle, though she later called off the engagement when he began to grow obsessed with accumulating his own wealth. Unable to bear having to witness these events again, Scrooge extinguishes the spirit.

The second spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Present, shows Scrooge the happiness of his fellow men on Christmas day. Among them are his nephew Fred, who playfully makes jokes with his family at Scrooge’s expense, and Bob Cratchit and his family, who are just barely able to make do with what little pay Scrooge gives Cratchit. The Cratchits also tend to a sickly young son, Tiny Tim, whose commitment to the spirit of Christmas touches Scrooge, who is dismayed to learn from the spirit that he may not have much longer to live. Before the spirit vanishes, it warns Scrooge about the evils of Ignorance and Want, showing them as terrifying, uncivilized children doomed to grow into savage, despicable individuals.

The third and final spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come,  shows Scrooge the final consequences of his greed. Tiny Tim has died, leaving the Cratchits to mourn him on Christmas. Scrooge has also died, though there is more comfort than grief in the wake of his funeral. In addition, Fred finds benefit from inheriting his wealth, and Scrooge is even robbed by his former maid. Unwilling to let this grim future come to pass, Scrooge begs to be given a second chance as the spirit forces him into his deep and empty grave leading all the way to Hell.

Scrooge awakens to find himself in his bed on Christmas morning, the three spirits having guided him over the course of one night, and immediately sets out to atone for his sins, making donations to the poor, attending Fred’s dinner party, and giving Cratchit a raise to care for his family, allowing Tiny Tim to live. Scrooge spends the remainder of his life a new man embodying the spirit of Christmas itself.

REVIEW:

A Christmas Carol has always been one of my favorite books. I’ve seen almost every version of this immortal story, and have to say that this is one of the best that I’ve seen.

Let me say that this is by no means the perfect interpretation of the book, but it is a very entertaining version. Before I go any further, let me say that normally I’m not a fan of 3D. These days it seems as though studios are just using it to jack up the prices of tickets, but it was actually worth it to see this in 3D. I can guarantee that when I see it on DVD in a few months, the experience won’t be the same. I still don’t think that 3D is all its cracked up to be, and definitely isn’t worth the extra money, but it is a different experience.

Many of the actors in this film lend their voices to numerous characters, not to mention their likeness. THe way these characters resembled their voices was scary. If I was an actor, I’d be wary of this technology. It could put me out of work.

Jim Carey really gets to show his voicing talent as Scrooge and the 3 spirits (only two of them speak). This is the kid of thing we expect from Carey, but Gary Oldman lends his voice to 3 people, as well. Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim, and Jacob Marley. I’ve often said that Oldman is very chameleon-like is his performances, but this takes the cake.

Speaking of Jacob Marley, his was kind of creepy at first, but once he jaw nearly fell off, it lightened the mood. Sort of in the same way Goofy does in the version with Mickey Mouse. I’ve always wondered why Marley has his jaw pulled up like that, and now I know.

The spirits are intriguing, as expected, but I would have never envisioned Christmas past as a candle, nor Christmas present as a giant who can’t stop laughing. Yes, that guy laughed the entire time he was on the screen. Every version of Christmas present has him as a jolly giant, but this one takes the cake. Its like he had some laughing gas before he came to Scrooge or something. Even when he was being serious, he was laughing. I didn’t know what to think.

It is quite obvious that studios are getting more familiar with this technology. The cinematography in this film, as well as the graphics proved that, especially in the scene with all the ghosts after Marley floats out of the window and the sequence with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Some live action films aren’t this good.

As I said before, this is one of the best version of A Christmas Carol. Personally, I prefer the George C. Scott or Mickey Mouse versions, but that could be because I grew up on them, and isn’t an indictment of this film. I’m just more comfortable with them. In time, I’m sure this film will find its place in the pantheon of Christmas films. In the meantime, with Christmas coming up, I can fully recommend this. Is it worth the extra few bucks for the 3D glasses? Yes, it is, especially since the experience you’ll get is so immensely different that what you’ll get when this is released on DVD, not to mention the fact that hey actually have parts of the 3D that could be scary to some.

4 out of 5 stars

Turtles Forever

PLOT:

The 1987 Turtles are transported to another dimension while they are battling with the 1987 Shredder in the Technodrome. Hun is mutated into a gigantic turtle and joins forces with the 2003 Shredder. He battles the eight turtles but they escape to the 1987 dimention. Splinter is kidnapped and brought to the Technodrome. The eight turtles then return to the 2003 dimention are seek to rescue Splinter, but they are beaten. Shredder than reveals is master plan. He has discovered that there are not two dimentions, but several, including the movie versions and various tv and comic adaptations. He seeks to destroy all dimentions of ninja turtles by destroying the original “Turtle Prime”…aka the Mirage Turtles. Shredder vanishes with the Technodrome and the 2003 universe begins to erase. After a brief battle with Mutant Hun, the eight turtles travel to the Mirage dimention and meet the original turtles, who are black and white and much darker then even the 2003 versions and narrate their actions ala the comic books. The 12 turtles battle a gigantic Utrom Shredder who is eventually defeated when Bebop and Rocksteady inadvertinantly hit him with the Technodrome’s ray. All turtles then return to their original dimentions, leaving the Mirage Turtles to discuss getting some pizza.

Then, a brief live-action scene shows the original issue of the mirage comics being finished with the writers hoping it will sell.

REVIEW:

I grew up watching the Saturday morning version of the Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the late 80s.  I had all the toys and collected the comics. When these new versions arrived a few years back, I was hesitant to embrace them on the grounds that they appeared to be more on the dark side of things, but after watching a few episodes, they are nowhere near as dark as I initially thought. However, watching Turtles Forever made me realize how different the turtles universes are.

When looking at the groups of turtles on their own, you’d never know that one set is taller, fatter, than the other, just that the 80s version is more cartoonish and have eyeballs and the letters on their belts. This is something that is pointed out ad nauseum throughout the flick.

The plot is actually one of the best I’ve seen in any action movie, animated or otherwise, in some time. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

honestly, the only thing I didn’t care for in this film was that they kept making the 80s turtles seems like they were nothing more than comic relief. Especially, when the film switches to the original, black and white comic dimension (where the turtles narrate in a manner and voicing reminiscent of the The Spirit).

Speaking of the voicing, would it have killed them to get some more of the original voices? I know that many of the current turtle fans don’t have clue as to what the original turtles sounded like, but it paine me to listen to them, almost as much as it did to watch them being treated like second rate sidekicks. I mean, at the end they literally run up and hug “current” Raphael the way little kids run up and hug their parents when they get home or something. This really disgusted and irked me and took away from the enjoyment and pleasure that I should have received from this meeting of the universes.

All in all, if you’re a true turtle fan, you’ll enjoy this feature. All the major characters from the universes are there, with the exception of Baxter Stockman, but that’s not really that big of a loss. Though, I would have loved to have seen how the mutated fly version would have reacted to the floating head…lol Can I recommend this? Yes, but proceed with caution if you’re a fan of the 80s era turtles. I know there are people out there that are going to say, “get ver it and move with the times”. Yeah, yeah, yeah…look, I understand the change and all, I just don’t think you should spit upon your legacy the way this film does. As matter of fact, they kind of do the same with the orignal versions, but that was done more with how they were drawn, rather than the script. I cannot in good faith say that I would be willing to watch this over and over again, but it was an ok flick for what it was.

3 1/2 out of  5 stars

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

PLOT:

LexCorp’s CEO Lex Luthor has been elected President of United States during a severe nation-wide economic depression. Under his leadership, the country is returned to its former glory and a force of superheroes consisting of Captain Atom, Starfire, Katana, Black Lightning, Power Girl, and Major Force who now work for the betterment of America. His aim is to employ every superhero to work for their country, but secretly, this is so they will not work against him. Meanwhile, Superman and Batman are still fighting crime on their own and maintain the distrust toward Luthor due to the heroes’ past with him. Thus, Luthor brands them as outlaws.

The United States government discovers that a Kryptonite meteor is hurtling toward Earth. Instead of asking superheroes for aid and wanting to take credit for himself, Lex decides to destroy it with nuclear missiles. Lex arranges a meeting with Superman in Gotham City under the pretense of forming a pact. This results in a battle between the hired Metallo and Superman and Batman. Following the heroes’ escape, Metallo is killed by an unknown assailant. Later that night, Lex pins Metallo’s murder on Superman, using footage of their battle to implicate him. Lex claims that the radiation being emitted by the meteor is affecting The Man of Steel’s judgment, and places a one-billion-dollar bounty on Superman’s head.

While breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs, seeking information on the meteor, Batman and Superman find Metallo’s remains and realize that intense radiation has killed him. They are then attacked by an army of villains looking to collect on the bounty. The army includes: Silver Banshee, Captain Cold, Icicle, Killer Frost, Mr. Freeze, Gorilla Grodd, Bane, Black Manta, Black Spider, Brimstone, Catman, Cheetah, Copperhead, Deadshot, Despero, Giganta, Girder, King Shark, Lady Shiva, Mongul, Captain Boomerang, Nightshade, Parasite, and Solomon Grundy. After some effort, most of the villains are defeated.

The remaining villains are defeated by Captain Atom, who has arrived with Lex’s superhero team to arrest Superman. All but Power Girl, whose loyalties are divided, attempt to capture Superman and Batman. Superman create a hurricane using his superspeed, and the two heroes escape with Power Girl.

In Metropolis, Power Girl admits that she feels threatened by Lex, and doesn’t believe Superman killed Metallo. Lex’s superheroes catch up and the fight begins again, this time with Power Girl aiding Superman and Batman. The Dark Knight realizes that Major Force killed Metallo under Luthor’s orders and goads him into admitting it in front of everyone. In anger, Power Girl punches him in the stomach with so much force that it ruptures his containment suit. Captain Atom, ashamed at his complicity in Lex’s misdeeds, absorbs the energy, disintegrating Major Force and injuring him in the process.

Meanwhile, Lex’s missiles fail to stop the meteor. Amanda Waller discovers that Lex has secretly been taking kryptonite steroids, which impairs his judgment. Lex decides to let the meteor hit the Earth so that he may rule what remains behind. Batman and Superman break into Lex’s lab to retrieve data on the meteor’s radiation. They end up in battle with Captain Marvel and Hawkman, eventually emerging victorious with Power Girl’s aid. Though Lex is unwilling to relinquish the data, Waller gives them a copy. Batman and Superman fly off to Tokyo to give the meteor’s data to a teen super-genius who is the Japanese Toyman. Waller tries to have Lex arrested, but he injects himself with more kryptonite steroids and dons a power suit. After escaping Waller and the military, Lex then follows Superman and Batman.

Toyman has built a rocket-propelled spacecraft, intending to use it as a powerful missile to stop the meteor. The ship resembles a giant, robotic composite version of Superman and Batman. With the data, Toyman is able to calculate the necessary reinforcements needed for his own rocket so it won’t explode before impact, as Luthor’s missiles did. Lex arrives and disables the remote guidance systems. Batman volunteers to fly the ship himself, despite Superman’s protests. In an aerial battle, though initially fairing poorly against Lex and his kryptonite power suit, Superman defeats Luthor in the streets of Metropolis. Captain Atom arrives and grabs Luthor. Batman succeeds in destroying the meteor, and Superman finds him alive and well in an escape pod.

With the truth of Metallo’s death public knowledge, Superman is cleared of the murder charge and Luthor is arrested.

REVIEW:

Wow! Batman and Superman team up. Can anyone stop them? Apparently, the corrupt government with Lex Luthor as president can, not to mention this subpar writing.

Let me get to the pros first. This is based on the comic storyline of the same name, and they draw heavily from that, as other DC animated films have done, watering down some of the violence and themes and such to make them more “kid-friendly”. The animation seems to be a mixture of the old school style that is currently seen in Batman: The Brave and the Bold and the current style they are using. Surprisingly, this makes for some beautiful animation.

The character design is pretty good, though I think both Batman and Superman looked a bit gaunt at times. Sure they had 6 pack abs and muscles on top of muscles, but they also looked a bit skinny. Maybe its just me, though.

Power Girl really caught my attention for a couple of reasons. I do belive she is the bustiest character DC has ever done. I’m not complaining, but I do wonder what made them do that. I don’t know much about the character, so it is totally possible that I just need to go pick up a book and look for her.

On to the cons…the adaptation of this story isn’t the greatest, but at the same time it isn’t the worse. The main issue is that they try to cram it into a very small window and end up losing some of the lustre. Also, they rush the whole frame up and Power Girl becoming a “traitor”, but take their sweet time with Toyman and the Kryptonite meteor. In other words, they try to include too much into this short film. They should have either picked better parts to focus on for the film, or made it a little longer.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies was a disappointment for me. I expected so much more from this, especially following the amazing job DC did with Green Lantern: First Flight and Wonder Woman. I guess you can’t win them all, but the difference between this film and its two predecessors is like night and day. Sure, it is a good watch and entertaining, if you’re a comic fan, for those that have no prior comic knowledge I can see this being extremely boring. Also, for die hard comic fans, I can just see this pissing off fanboys left and right because of things that were left out. It happens, no way around it. Basically, this is just an average animated superhero flick. sure, its worth watching, but it won’t be the end of the world if you don’t see it.

3 out of 5 stars

Edward Scissorhands

PLOT:

An elderly woman tells an ostensibly true story to her granddaughter of a man named Edward with scissors for hands, the creation of an inventor. The inventor was inspired to make an artificial man due to the anthropomorphic appearance of his other inventions. He raised Edward as his son and tutored him in various subjects, but died while in the act of offering a pair of hands to Edward. Many years later, local Avon saleswoman Peg Boggs, after failing to make profits in her suburban neighborhood, visits a Gothic mansion on a hill. There, she finds Edward, and convinces him to have her take him in. Edward befriends Peg’s young son, Kevin and, after an initial misstep, her teenage daughter Kim.

Peg’s neighbors become thrilled at Edward’s masterful skills at hedge clipping and haircutting. However, two of the townspeople, a religious fanatic named Esmeralda and Kim’s jock boyfriend Jim, dislike him immediately. Joyce, a “lonely housewife”, suggests that Edward open a haircutting salon with her. While examining a proposed site, she attempts to seduce him, confusing Edward, who escapes the room in a state of panic. Edward attempts to bring up the subject of her actions while the family is having dinner, but no one reacts to the news.

Wanting money for a van, Jim takes advantage of Edward’s ability to pick locks and breaks into his father’s house. The burglar alarm sounds and all but Edward escape, despite Kim’s angry insistence that they return for him. Edward is arrested, but released when a psychological examination reveals that his isolation allowed him to live without a traditional sense of ethics. The arresting officer, Allen, befriends the timid Edward, sensing his intrinsic goodness. Meanwhile, infuriated by Edward’s rejection, Joyce gets revenge on Edward by claiming that he tried to rape her. Many of the neighbors begin to question his personality. During Christmas, Edward is feared by almost everyone around him except the Boggs family, thus making him an outcast.

While the family is setting up Christmas decorations, Edward carves an ice sculpture from a block of ice. The ice shavings create the effect of falling snow, under which Kim dances. Jim catches Kim’s attention, whereupon Edward accidentally cuts Kim’s hand. Jim assumes that Edward deliberately harmed her, and uses this as a pretext to attack Edward in a jealous rage. The situation worsens when Kevin is almost run over by Jim’s drunken friend. Edward pushes Kevin out of the way, accidentally cutting his face in the process. Edward flees back to his hill-top mansion. The neighbors, concerned, follow him. Officer Allen unsuccessfully attempts to turn them back by giving them the impression that Edward is dead. He fires his gun a few times and tries to tell them that it’s all over. They continue to the mansion.

Kim heads to the mansion and reunites with Edward. Jim follows them and battles Edward, and is eventually killed by him. Kim professes her love for Edward and convinces the townspeople that Edward and Jim killed each other in the fight. All the neighbors return to their homes, while Joyce is seen guilty for making up the rumor about Edward. The elderly woman from the beginning reappears, as she finishes telling her granddaughter the story. It is revealed that Edward is still alive and “creating snow” from his ice sculptures, which fall upon the valley below. The elderly woman reveals to her granddaughter that she is, in fact, Kim. She refuses to visit Edward because she wants Edward to remember her the way she was in her youth.

REVIEW:

When this film came out, Tim Burton was still an up and coming director with unique vision. Edward Scissorhands was fast-tracked into production following the success of Batman. That decision ay have turned out to be a good thing, as it capitalized on Burton’s popularity, but the film itself is strong enough that it didn’t need such pity.

In the past few years, Johnny Depp has established himself as one of the most talented actors of this generation. There is no doubt the man can act, as you can tell in this film that shows him in his younger days. Sure, Edward doesn’t have much to say, but its the facial expressions and childlike mannerisms that Depp uses that really show his ability as an actor and immortalize Edward as one of the best characters in cinema.

Winona Ryder seems to fit right in as the “damsel in distress” female lead and makes a pretty cute couple with Depp. Unfortunately, she looks a bit old for her character, regardless of the wig they put on her.

I loved how the neighborhood was like the kind of community you see in old television shows and movies, and had a very basic color palette. It was a nice contrast to the darker tones of the film, a signature of Burton films.

There really isn’t much to complain about here except for how gossipy and nosey the neighbors are and how they turn on and chase Edward away at the drop of a hat. It is truly disgusting that people can be so shallow as to not get the whole story before they more or less crucify someone. What made it worse is near the end when the police officer says its over in front of the castle, the crowd doesn’t believe him and storms the grounds. It really shows how pathetic these people’s lives are!

Tim Burton has said that this is his most personal work, which may explain why it may be one of his best. The story is great, the characters are believable and relatable, and the actors seem to really be enjoying themselves, which always makes a film that much better. It is definitely worth a viewing or two.

4 out of 5 stars

Year One

PLOT:

Zed (Jack Black) is a hunter and Oh (Michael Cera) is a gatherer. After being informed that Zed ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the shaman banishes him from the tribe. Oh decides to go with Zed on his journey to find the end of the Earth. Along the way, they encounter Cain and Abel (David Cross and Paul Rudd). Cain kills Abel and informs Zed and Oh that they must escape with him or else be accused of killing Abel.

Afterwards, Zed and Oh find that the girls they wanted to “lay with” (Maya and Eema) from their former tribe have been captured and are being sold into slavery. They try to buy the girls’ freedom, but Cain ends up selling Zed and Oh. While being taken to a village by the owner with all the other slaves from their tribe, Sodomites attack and take the slaves prisoner, though Zed and Oh escape and hide in the desert, watching the Sodomites.

The next morning, Zed and Oh discover that the Sodomites have left with the slaves. They head off to save the slaves. They come to a mountain and find Abraham (Hank Azaria) about to kill his son Isaac (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Zed stops them, claiming that the Lord sent him to do so. Abraham takes them to his Hebrew village and tells them about the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Zed and Oh head off for Sodom after Abraham offers to circumcise them. As they arrive in Sodom, they are captured. Cain, now a Sodomite soldier, saves them from being sodomized, calling them “his brothers.” The two recalled that they were sold by Cain as slaves and Cain apologizes and offers them food. While being given a tour of the city by Cain, Zed and Oh are offered by Cain to become guards. Shortly after they become guards and are patrolling the city they see the princess, who is starving herself because she feels guilty that everyone else in the city is starving. That night, at a party, Zed is invited by the princess to talk with her.

Inside the palace, Zed sees Maya and Eema serving as slaves, while Oh is forced to follow the very effeminate high priest around the palace. Zed meets the princess (Olivia Wilde) and she asks him to enter the Holy of Holies and tell her what it is like, thinking that Zed is the “Chosen One.” Inside the temple, Zed encounters Oh, who is hiding from the high priest. There, they get into a heated argument and are then imprisoned for going inside the temple. The two are sentenced to be stoned to death but Zed convinces the Sodomites to have mercy, so they are instead sentenced to hard labor until they die from work. The king then announces that he will be sacrificing his daughter and two virgins (Maya and Eema) as a gift to the gods.

Zed interrupts the ceremony, claiming he is the “Chosen One.” A riot starts and Oh saves Eema. The two have sexual intercourse inside the palace, which not only consummates their relationship, but also means that Eema cannot be sacrificed. They then come out to help Zed fight the soldiers (including Cain). The crowd kills all the leaders and proclaim Zed as the Leader being the “Chosen One”. Zed turns this down and instead becomes an explorer with Maya. Oh becomes the leader of the village where the whole adventure started. The two say their goodbyes and head their separate ways.

REVIEW:

Comedies set in prehistoric times are oft-time surefire hits and comedy gold. I don’t know if I can say that Year One is a hit, but it does make an attempt. 

Jack Black is one of those actors/comedians that people either love or hate. For me, I can tolerate him, but I don’t particularly like or dislike him. His antics work here, though, as his character is one of those clumsy types that fouls up everything without knowing it.

Michael Cera honestly needs to find someway to stop playing the same character in every film. Don’t get me wrong, the lovable, soft-spoken loser that gets everything piled on him, and then comes out at the end smelling like roses, works for him, but he seems to play the same character in every single film he’s in. Pretty soon these roles are going to dry up and he’ll end up working at McDonald’s or something, which would be a shame because I think he has potential to be so much more.

David Cross is his usual annoying character that double crosses everyone. That may be why he was chosen to play Abel.

In a film about cavemen, you know there has to be some nice candy, right? Well, we have  June Raphael as Maya, who ends up with Jack Black and Eema ends up with Michael Cera…ironically her real name is Juno. There is also the super sexy Olivia Wilde later in the film, but they have so much makeup on her that it takes away her hotness, in my opinion.

I got a little confused with this picture. They start out in what appears to be prehistoric times and the next thing we know they’re talking to Cain and Abel, then Abraham and Isaac, then they end up in Sodom. WTF?!? Pick a time and stick with it! The movie is called Year One, so why not stick to that. Skipping around through time like this has been done before in a little picture called History of the World, pt. 1 ( a better film, in my opinion).

Year One  is not without its faults, but that doesn’t mean that its a total waste of time to watch. Sure, you could better with Mel Brooks’ History of the World, Pt. 1, but don’t count this one out. Unless you’re one of those people who finds one or more of these actors annoying (for me, its David Cross, but I can deal with it, unlike some people), then I think you’ll be entertained by most of the film. Its one of the few comedies these days that remembers its a comedy all the way through and doesn’t try to become a drama…although, it does attempt to be an action flick, but even that is done in a comedic way.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

PLOT:

Superman saves a group of cosmonauts whose ship has been thrown off course by a rogue satellite. Shortly after, his alter ego, Clark Kent, visits his hometown of Smallville to check on the now uninhabited family farm where he grew up. Venturing into one of the empty barns, he uncovers the space-capsule he was sent to Earth in, and removes from it a green-glowing, Kryptonian energy module. A recording left by his mother, Lara, states that its power can only be used once.

Unwilling to sell the land to a developer, Clark returns to Metropolis and transforms into Superman in order to stop a runaway subway train. Returning to the Daily Planet as Clark Kent, he learns that the newspaper has been taken over by Warfield, a tabloid tycoon who fires Perry White and hires his daughter Lacy (Mariel Hemingway) as the new editor. Lacy takes a liking to Clark and does her best to seduce him. As a result of her persistence, Clark agrees to go on a date with her.

Following the news that the United States and the Soviet Union may engage in nuclear war, Clark is conflicted with regard to how much Superman should intervene. Receiving a heartfelt letter written by a concerned schoolboy, Superman travels to the Fortress of Solitude, where he seeks advice from the spirits of his Kryptonian ancestors. Rather than interfere in human matters, they recommend he leave Earth.

After asking Lois’s advice on the matter, Superman attends a meeting of the United Nations, telling the assembly that he will rid the Earth of nuclear weapons. Superman collects most of the world’s nuclear stockpile in a gigantic net in high Earth orbit, then hurls it into the sun, destroying the warheads.

Meanwhile, Lenny Luthor breaks his uncle, Lex Luthor, out of prison with the aid of a remote control automobile. Returning to Metropolis, the pair steal a strand of Superman’s hair that he donated to a museum, and use it to create a genetic matrix which they attach to one of the few remaining American nuclear missiles. After the missile is test fired, Superman intercepts the missile and throws it into the sun.

As the missile is enveloped by the star’s intense heat and radiation, a glowing ball of energy is discharged which develops into a super-human (Mark Pillow). This “Nuclear Man” makes his way back to Earth to find his “father,” Luthor, who establishes that while his “son” is indeed powerful, he will deactivate if isolated from the sun’s rays or bright artificial light.

A battle ensues between Luthor’s creation and the Man of Steel. After saving people all over the globe from Luthor’s monstrous creation, Superman is forced to save the Statue of Liberty from falling onto Metropolis – during which time he is poisoned from a scratch by Nuclear Man’s deadly, radioactive fingernails. Nuclear Man kicks his mortally wounded opponent into the distance with such strength that his red cape is torn away.

To Lois’ disgust, The Daily Planet, now reformatted as a tabloid newspaper, publishes the headline, “Is Superman is Dead”? Lois indicates a desire to quit, and seizes Superman’s recovered cape for herself. Also distressed at the headline (her father’s idea), Lacy reveals to Lois that she cares for Clark and asks if she knows where he is. Lois ventures to Clark’s apartment where she proclaims her love for Superman. Felled by radiation sickness, Clark staggers to his terrace, where he retrieves the Kryptonian energy crystal to heal himself.

Having developed a crush on Lacy, Nuclear Man threatens mayhem if he is not introduced to her. The newly-restored Superman agrees to take him to her in order to prevent anyone else from being hurt. Attempting to disable the villain, Superman lures Nuclear Man into an elevator, trapping and then depositing him on the dark side of the Moon. As the sun rises, Nuclear Man breaks out of his makeshift prison due to a crack in the elevator doors and Superman is forced once again to defend himself, this time on the Moon’s surface. At the end of the battle, it appears as though Superman has been defeated once again, and he is driven into the ground by his opponent.

Lacy protests her father’s sensationalist headlines, warning him that his stories are dangerous, and that newspapers are supposed to be about journalism. She is proven right, as Nuclear Man, having developed a crush on Lacy, kidnaps her and spirits her away. Superman claws his way out of the thick moon dust, and pushes the moon out of its orbit, casting Earth into an eclipse which nullifies Nuclear Man’s powers. Superman returns Lacy to Earth, then recovers Nuclear Man and deposits him into the core of a nuclear power plant, where he becomes a plentiful energy source. Superman also recovers the fleeing Luthors – returning Lex to prison, and Lenny to Boys Town.

Perry White restores the previous Daily Planet decorations, much to Warfield’s annoyance. During his absence, White has secured a loan with which to buy back the controlling shares of the newspaper, making Warfield a minority shareholder and protecting the paper from any further abuse.

In a press conference, Superman declares only partial victory in his campaign, saying, “There will be peace when the people of the world want it so badly that their governments will have no choice but to give it to them.”

REVIEW:

Superman has long stood for truth, justice, and the American way, but this film turns him into a patsy of sorts for the world and the nuclear arms race.

The concept for the plot is a good one, but it just doesn’t gel the way it should. There are too many things going on at once to really focus in on the story, such as the battle between Superman and Nuclear Man, the conflict Reeve has with his secret identy, among others.

All these things don’t make for a horrible film, but  one that falls way short of the expectations that this film and its predecessor bring to mind.

The first two Superman films cemented the Man of Steel’s legacy in cinema history, but movies 3 and 4 are so bad that they brought the franchise to a grinding halt. Critics say that this is the nail in the coffin that buried Superman for 20 years. While that may be true, I found that its predecessor was worse and this one was getting back to the roots of the first two films. Continuing with that train of tought, it is important to note that this picture is not horrible, but doesn’t deliver on its promises.

2 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Monsters vs. Aliens

PLOT:

Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) is hit by a meteorite on the day of her wedding to weatherman Derek Dietl (Paul Rudd), absorbing a substance called quantonium and growing into a giantess. Alerted to the meteorite crash, the military arrive and capture Susan. She is labeled a monster, renamed “Ginormica” by the government, and sent to a top-secret prison facility headed by General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) and containing other monsters: B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), a brainless, indestructible gelatinous blob; Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. (Hugh Laurie), a mad scientist with the head and abilities of a cockroach; the Missing Link (Will Arnett), an amphibious fish-ape hybrid; and Insectosaurus, a colossal grub that is larger than Susan. The monsters are forbidden to have any contact with the outside world; while the other monsters have been living contentedly with this lifestyle for the past 50 years, Susan feels incredibly isolated and wishes to return to her old life.

An alien named Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) detects the quantonium radiation emanating from Earth and deploys a gigantic robotic probe to find it and extract it from its source, Susan. After a botched attempt by the President of the United States (Stephen Colbert) to make first contact with the robot, it begins destroying everything in sight, resisting all conventional military force used against it. General Monger convinces the President to use the monsters to fight the robot instead. The monsters accept the mission with the promise of freedom if they succeed. Arriving in San Francisco, Susan is chased by the robot across the city to the Golden Gate Bridge, where the monsters are able to defeat the robot.

Now free, Susan returns to her hometown and introduces her family and friends to the monsters, who are quickly rejected after innocently causing a panicked ruckus in the neighborhood. Derek, meanwhile, breaks up with Susan, claiming that he can’t be married to someone who could overshadow his career. Initially devastated, Susan realizes that becoming a monster has improved her life, and fully embraces her new friends and lifestyle. Suddenly, she is abducted by Gallaxhar, who apparently kills Insectosaurus when he tries to save her. On Gallaxhar’s spaceship, Susan breaks loose and chases Gallaxhar down, only to enter a machine that extracts the quantonium from her body, shrinking her to her normal size. Gallaxhar proceeds to use the quantonium to power a machine which clones him into an army so he can invade Earth.

With assistance from General Monger, B.O.B., Dr. Cockroach, and the Missing Link infiltrate Gallaxhar’s spaceship, rescue Susan, and hot-wire the spaceship’s power core, activating the spaceship’s self-destruct sequence. However, during their escape attempt, Susan is cut off from her friends, who are trapped in the power core and tell her to save herself. Instead, Susan confronts Gallaxhar, who tries to escape with the quantonium, and attempts to force him into releasing her friends. When Gallaxhar says he cannot reverse the sequence, Susan takes the quantonium back and absorbs it, restoring her to her gargantuan size and allowing her to save her friends. The monsters leap out of the exploding spaceship and are rescued by General Monger on the back of the revived Insectosaurus, who had sealed his body in a cocoon and transformed into a giant butterfly.

The monsters receive a hero’s welcome upon their return. Derek attempts to get back with Susan for the sake of interviewing her, which could benefit his career; instead, Susan rejects him and forces him to endure the humiliation of being thrown into the air and caught, swallowed and spit out by B.O.B. on camera. At that moment, the monsters are alerted to a monster attack near Paris and fly off to face the new menace.

REVIEW:

When I first heard about this movie I was as giddy as a school girl about it. The thought of classic monsters from the 50s taking on an alien invasion is a dream matchup equivalent to Ali-Frazier, but after I watched this I was a little disappointed. Not that it wasn’t a great movie, but the fact that it was set in modern-day kind of deadens the effect.

The 50s would have made the perfect backdrop for this, and wouldn’t have changed any parts of the plot except for the laptop at the very beginning. It just seems to be that this should have occurred in a time when everyone was paranoid about monsters and aliens, as opposed to everything but them, as they are these days, but maybe that’s just me

As I said before, this is by no stretch of the imagination a bad film. As a matter of fact, it’s really good.

Reese Witherspoon is all happy on her wedding day, then as she’s outside crying she get’s hit by a meteorite. Fast forward a few minutes and she’s at the alter about to say I do, then she suddenly starts glowing and then goes through a growth spurt. Strangely enough he hair turns white…don’t ask me how growing to 50 ft makes your hair turn from brown to white, but apparently it does. Personally, I think it was an upgrade.

The military shows up tags and bags her, so to speak, detains, debrief, and whatever else they do when they want to cover stuff up. Next thing we know she’s in this cell thinking she’s laying next to her supposed-to-be husband Derek. We go through the whole sequence of her meeting all the principal characters of the film here, General W.R. Monger, Dr. Cockroach, B.O.B., The Missing Link, and Insectosaurus.

Fast forward a bit and enter the villain, Gallaxhar, who wants the power of the meteorite that hit Susan. So, he sends out a giant probe to extract her. The thing lands in California. As one reporter puts it, “aliens only land in America.”[sic]  There is a big to do about the probe and the President of the U.S. (ironically and hilariously voiced by Stephen Colbert) attempts to make first contact. This doesn’t work and seems to do nothing more than activate the thing. Soon we see the President and his generals in sort of war room, when General Monger suggests he let the monsters handle it.

The monsters are…unleashed…for lack of a better term on San Francisco to stop the thing. THe fight tears up most of the city and spills out into the Golden Gate Bridge, where Susan realizes her full potential and takes control of the situation, ultimately defeating the probe, but not without destroying the bridge.

After some dramatic, heart warming fuzzy scene, Susan is abducted by Gallaxhar who extracts the quantonium from her, causing her to shrink back to her original size (at least she keeps her white hair) and informs her of his plan to take over Earth and eventually destroy it as he did his own.

The other monsters come to Susan’s rescue and help her to initiate the self-destruct sequence. In a final confrontation with Gallaxhar, Susan in nearly beaten, but then gets the quantonium back and becomes Ginormica again, totally saving the day.

Voice casting here is brilliant. EAch character seemed tailor-made for their voice actor. Keifer Sutherland is unrecognizable as General Monger until you see his name in the credits, and I’ve already mentioned Stephen Colbert as the president.

The action is what you would expect from your typical sci-fi genre flick. A city gets destroyed, ships blow up, the world is in danger, the usual.

I didn’t care for the dramatic mid section, but I suppose you had to have a calm before the storm, as it led to Susan getting captured. I also wasn’t a fan of the design of Derek. He looks like they animators just took a model from Happily N’Ever After put a suit on him, changed his air, and stuck him in Modesto, CA as a weatherman. That’s just a minor complaint, if you can even call it that.

I had high expectations for this picture. It didn’t live up to the standards I set for it, but that doesn’t mean I still didn’t enjoy it. How could you not? The film has everything except for transforming robots, and actually, the probes kind of fit that bill. Again, I think it would worked better had it been set in a different era. Still, anyone can watch and enjoy this, and not have to think too hard about it. Those born after 1985, may not get the keyboard scene, though. Only those of us older viewers will know those songs.

4 out of 5 stars

Superman III

PLOT:

Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor), an unemployed ne’er-do-well, discovers a knack for computer programming. After embezzling from his new employer’s payroll (through a technique known as salami slicing), Gorman is brought to the attention of the CEO, Ross Webster. Webster (Robert Vaughn) is obsessed with the computer’s potential to aid him in his schemes to rule the world financially. Joined by his sister Vera and his “psychic nutritionist” Lorelei Ambrosia, Webster blackmails Gorman into helping him.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent has convinced his newspaper to allow him to return to Smallville for his high school reunion. En route, he extinguishes a fire in a chemical plant containing vials of acid that can produce clouds of corrosive vapor when superheated.

In Smallville Clark is reunited with childhood friend Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole). Lana is a divorcée with a young son named Ricky (Paul Kaethler). Clark and Lana begin to share affection for each other, though Lana’s former boyfriend Brad (Gavan O’Herlihy), Clark’s childhood bully and now an alcoholic security guard, is still vying for her attention.

Meanwhile, Webster schemes to monopolize the world’s coffee crop. Infuriated by Colombia’s refusal to do business with him, he orders Gorman to command an American weather satellite to create a hurricane to decimate the nation’s coffee crop. Webster’s scheme is thwarted when Superman neutralizes the hurricane and saves the harvest. Webster then orders Gorman to use his computer knowledge to create kryptonite, remembering Lois Lane’s Daily Planet interview from Superman, during which Superman identified it as his only weakness. Gus uses a computer to locate Krypton’s debris in outer space, but after the computer fails to analyze an “unknown” element in kryptonite, he improvises by replacing the unidentified element with tar, garnered from a pack of cigarettes.

Lana convinces Superman to appear at Ricky’s birthday party, but Smallville turns it into a celebration. Gus and Vera, disguised as United States Army officers, give Superman the kryptonite as a gift, and are dismayed to see that it appears to have no effect on him. However, the compound begins to produce symptoms: Superman becomes selfish, focusing on his lust for Lana, causing him to delay rescuing a truck driver from his jackknifed rig. Superman begins to question his own self-worth, and, as the Kryptonite takes effect, he becomes depressed, angry, and casually destructive, committing petty acts of vandalism such as blowing out the Olympic torch and straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Ross, seeing this, creates new plans and orders a supercomputer to be built.

Superman assuages his depression with a drinking binge, but is overcome by guilt and undergoes a nervous breakdown. After nearly crash-landing in a junkyard, he splits into two personas: the evil, selfish Superman and the moral, righteous Clark Kent. They engage in an epic battle that ends when Clark strangles his evil identity, restoring him to his former self.

After defending himself from numerous rockets and an MX missile, Superman battles Gorman’s supercomputer, which severely weakens him with a kryptonite ray. Gorman, guilt-ridden and horrified by the prospect of “going down in history as the man who killed Superman”, destroys the kryptonite ray with a firefighter’s axe, whereupon Superman flees. The computer becomes self-aware, defending itself against Gus and draining power from electrical towers, causing massive blackouts. Ross and Lorelei escape from the control room, but Vera is pulled into the computer and transformed into a cyborg. Empowered by the supercomputer, Vera attacks her brother and Lorelei with beams of energy that immobilize them.

Superman returns with acid from the chemical plant he saved earlier; the intense heat emitted by the supercomputer causes the acid to turn volatile, destroying the machine and turning Vera back to normal. Superman flies away with Gus, leaving Webster and his cronies to the authorities. After dropping Gus off at a coal mine, where he gives him a job reference, Superman returns to Metropolis and reunites with Lana Lang, who has relocated to the big city and found employment as Perry White’s new secretary.

REVIEW:

Everyone that sees Superman III is quick to criticize it for the use of comedy as well as the change in director and subpar story. Having never seen this film before, I wanted to see for myself .

Going in with an open mind, I expected a film on par with the previous two, but that was not the case. There is an obvious difference in every aspect of this film. I’m surprised they kept the same actors and music.

Christopher Reeve reprises his role as Clark Kent/Superman once again. This time he gets the chance to fight himself in a battle for his sanity after homemade kryptonite drives him off the deep end. Not really sure how it did that, though.

Granted, Superman doesn’t have the extensice rogues gallery that Batman does, but I’m sure there was someone in there that could have been chosen, rather than cretin some random character who seems to be a poor man’s Lex Luthor, which is no indictment of Robert Vaughn’s talent, but rather the writing and choice to come up with an orignal character rather than reach in and bring out Branice, Toyman, or someone other villain. They could have even made him sort of distant Luthor, but that’s just my humble opinion.

Richard Pryor plays a computer whiz who is a bit slow when it comes to real life situations. his smarts seem to go out the window. Many critics have blasted his performance and credited him with the fall of  Superman. I won’t go that far, but I will say he ws out of his element here and that it was more than obvious that he was cast to be nothing more than comic relief. There is nothing wrong with that, if you good story and script, which this film doesn’t.

The best scene of the film I alluded to earlier and that is the fight between “dark” Superman and Clark Kent. While this is the est scene of the film, it is never explained how or why it happens, let alone how things suddenly go back to normal when he wins. I did, however, like the fact that his suit got darker as Superman was doing evil things.’

 Fans of the Superman franchise will be disappointed with this, but those that like Richard Pryor will live it. Some of this bloodshed is on his hands, but thankfully this was a one time engagement and we can look  for and to better Superman films ot be reviewed.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult

PLOT:

As the film begins, we are introduced to an imprisoned terrorist, Rocco Dillon (Fred Ward), who is approached by Mr. Pahpshmir to be given a target for a bombing.

Meanwhile, Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) has retired from Police Squad after marrying Jane (Priscilla Presley) and works as a house husband. However, after the Department learns of Rocco’s plans, he agrees to come out of retirement in order to prevent the bombing. When Jane learns that he has gone back to being a cop, Frank tells her, “No, I swear, it’s another woman!” Jane does not believe him, and is distraught that he has gone back to his police work. A devastated Jane leaves him in a parody of Thelma and Louise. While Jane leaves to go on a road trip with a girlfriend, Frank goes undercover in Rocco Dillon’s cell, where he pretends to be “Nick ‘The Slasher’ McGuirk.” Together, “McGuirk” and Dillon break out of jail in a sequence parodying The Great Escape.

Meanwhile, Jane finds the address of Rocco’s girlfriend written in Frank’s handwriting. Mistakenly concluding that Frank really was seeing another woman, she drives to Rocco’s hideout planning to give him a piece of her mind.

After their tunnel breaks ground outside in a L.A. high school playground, they are escorted by Dillon’s gangster mother to his country retreat, where they meet the gorgeous buxom Tanya Peters (Anna Nicole Smith), Rocco’s girlfriend, in a pink bathing suit. Frank comments, “It was Tanya. That bathing suit never looked happier.” Later, Rocco tells Frank of his plans to bomb the Academy Awards. He also has a confrontation from Tanya that night while Frank says he was playing chess, Tanya tries to seduce him, then she kisses Frank while Jane arrives looking for him.

Later, Frank and Jane pretend to be Vanna White and “Weird Al” Yankovic and are able to infiltrate the Awards, and cause mayhem on stage while he and the police are looking for the bomb hidden in one of the envelopes. While looking for the bomb he encounters Tanya again. Attempting to seduce him, she takes off her black shiny dress. Frank is spellbound by her breasts, but to his horror, Frank is surprised to see (although the viewer sees only a shadow) that there is a penis (which bends rather impossibly) on Tanya, a la The Crying Game (in the censored version the viewer sees that she has the legs of an old man instead of a penis). He runs onstage and vomits into a tuba. Rocco Dillon arrives and points his gun at Frank, who is holding the bomb in the best picture envelope, having snatched it from Raquel Welch’s hands as she was about to open it. In a subsequent fight, Rocco takes Jane hostage, vowing to make Frank pay for killing his mother (Frank had shot upwards and hit an applause sign, which fell and got stuck on Rocco’s mother’s head). In the scaffolding above, Frank and Rocco battle until the terrorist grabs the bomb and is sent hurtling through the ceiling and into the sky above, where he crashes into Pahpshmir’s helicopter, head-first into a toilet. The bomb explodes killing both of them. Months later, Frank and Jane are finally having a baby. However, when Frank and Det. Nordberg (O.J. Simpson) arrive to videotape the birth, they enter the wrong delivery room. Enraged that the baby is black, Frank chases Nordberg down the hospital corridor, threatening to murder him.

REVIEW:

With a film subtitles The Final Insult, you’d think it’d be such the horrendous film that it insults the franchise. However, that is not the case, as this film manages to keep the integrity of this series of films (if there is such a thing).

The major characters from the previous films return for the final chapter, Leslie Nielson, O.J. Simpson, Priscilla Presley, and George Kennedy. No surprise that Nielsen is spot on with his comic  timing and deadpan humor here, but Presley gets in a few jokes herself.

Whatever you may think of Anna Nicole Smith, this is the film that more or less made her acting “career”. If you don’t belive me, go look at a trailer for it and see how many times they mention her and show some of her sexy poses and massive cleavage.

You know what you get when you watch these films. Slapstick parody/spoof type of physical comedy that most either love or hate. This film follows the formula, although something that the first two had seems to be missing here. I can’t quite put my finger on it, though.

The Naked Gun series of films have brought tons of laughs to anyone that watches them and doesn’t try to read too much into these silly films. Storywise, this one is inferior to the previous couple of films, but I think its funnier, even if the jokes do get a bit in the way of moving things along sometimes. If you just want to watch a funny, silly film, then this should definitely be on your list.

4 out of 5 stars

Astroboy

PLOT:

The film begins in Metro City, a small city that floats above Earth now covered in discarded robot parts. Toby Tenma finishes a physics pop quiz ahead of all his classmates and is free to leave, so he rewires Orrin (the family servant robot) who takes Toby to the Ministry of Science.

Toby’s father, Dr. Tenma, is at the ministry, meeting with President Stone and Dr. Elefun. They have captured two cores of energy, a “positive” (good) core and a “negative” (evil) core. Toby is placed in a room where he is supposed to stay until the end of the demonstration, but he escapes and runs off to the demonstration room.

President Stone orders the Red Core to be placed into a robot called “The Peacekeeper” to power it. The Peacekeeper begins to malfunction and tries to attack the scientists, vaporizing Toby before the adults are able to deactivate the robot.

Soon after, Dr. Tenma is seen holding blueprints of a robot replica of Toby, in hopes of recreating his son. He takes hair from Toby’s hat to access all his memories and place them in the robot. Dr. Elefun provides the Blue Core to power the very advanced Toby robot. The robot Toby comes to life, to the excitement of Dr. Tenma. Tenma then takes Toby home, at first excited to spend time with his son, but he quicly realizes the new Toby is not the same as the old Toby.

Dr. Tenma calls Dr. Elefun, fearing that he may have made a mistake. Dr. Elefun makes a point that Toby cannot be exactly duplicated. Dr. Tenma grieves over the fact that whenever he sees Toby, he is reminded that Toby is really gone and will never come back.

While in his room, Toby worries about his father, since he has never been that angry with him before. While Toby gets into a quarrel with cleaning robots outside his window, he discovers he can understand them but falls out the window only to discover that he can fly.

President Stone discovers Toby’s energy signature and his blue core, and orders his troops to capture it. When Toby returns home he overhears his father talking with Elefun about deactivating Toby. Dr. Tenma reveals that Toby is only just a copy of the original Toby and that he no longer wants him since his face only reminds him of his real son and the pain of losing him. Devastated, Toby flies off but not before Elefun assures him that he has a place somewhere in the world.

Toby is ambushed by military drones. A barrage of missiles temporarily disables Toby, causing him to fall to the Earth’s surface. Toby wakes up in the remains of Soylent Green’s dystopian concept of 2022 below Metro City filled with broken robots where he meets a robot dog, Trashcan. Trashcan leads Toby to a trap where he is wrapped up and captured by a group of kids, but released when they see he is not a robot. They introduce themselves to Toby, but before he can respond, a group of robots kidnap him. The group is the R.R.F (the Robot Revolutionary Front) who save robots and name Toby, Astro. They then warn him of Hamegg who enslaves robots. Just then, Cora busts in and takes Astro.

President Stone arrives to arrest Elefun and learns of what Dr. Tenma did with the blue core. He promises to deactivate Astro when they capture him and give Stone the blue core for the Peacekeeper. Cora takes Astro to their home, filled with tons of children and the Fagin-like ringmaster Hamegg. However, Hamegg isn’t as evil as he seems. Hamegg eagerly welcomes Astro into their family. Later that night, Hamegg talks with Astro and how he used to work in Metro City with Dr. Tenma, but was thrown away due to his “intimidating brilliance”.

The next day while out searching for parts in Brazil, Trashcan tried to tell everyone else that Astro is a robot, but fails. (Trashcan writes on the ground “He’s A Robot” but then one of the kids comments “Makes me wish I knew how to read.”) Astro finds a 100 year old robot named Zog. Using the power of his blue core, Astro revives Zog. They take him back to their home and fix him up for the robot games. But Astro is slightly upset when he discovers that it is a fight to the death. Before the games start, Hamegg electrifies Astro and reveals to everyone that he is a robot. So, Hamegg puts him in the games. At Yankee Stadium, Astro easily clears all the robots but is put up against Zog, who refuses to fight Astro. Hamegg, forcibly tries to get Astro to fight, but Zog attacks him (being over 100 years old, the rules of robots not being allowed to harm humans doesn’t apply to him, since it has been the rule for 50 years). Just then the military arrives and Zog tries to defend Astro, but Astro stops Zog and goes with the military.

Astro is taken back to the lab he was made in and Dr. Elefun tells him that he is wonderful and none of this is his fault, but Astro believes that it is hard to fit in and that perhaps this is his destiny. Dr. Tenma takes out the blue core and apologizes to Astro, who says he shouldn’t be sorry and apologizes for not being a better Toby. Dr. Tenma gives Stone the core, but betrays him and takes it back, putting it in Astro. Astro wakes up wondering why Dr. Tenma has done that, but he replies that even though Astro is not Toby, he is still his son.

Astro escapes so Stone uses the red core to reactivate the Peacekeeper, however, the Peacekeeper absorbs Stone and heads to destroy Astro. With the entire city cleared and the Peacekeeper souped up with a bunch of weapons. Meanwhile, Cora and the others hijack Hamegg’s car to head to Metro City and help Astro. But when the Peacekeeper tries to absorb him, it doesn’t work. Dr. Tenma says that if the blue core and red core come together, Astro and the Peacekeeper will die. Either way, Astro flies into the Peacekeeper and they explode, leaving Stone unharmed, but arrested and Astro deactivated since the blue core has been drained. However because Zog was revived with the blue core, he returns some of the energy back to Astro, reactivating him.

Astro finds his place as a hero and everyone rejoices. Cora reunites with her parents. But before any celebrating can happen a large alien attacks and Astro, now at peace with his robotic nature, immediately launches into action after reassuring his concerned father, “I was made ready!”

REVIEW:

Let me start this off by saying that while I know a little about the character of Astroboy, it is all from cramming in some episodes on youtube this summer leading up to the release of the film. Having done that, though, I did learn more about the origins and whatnot of Astroby and the supporting characters.

When I found out that this was going to be done with CGI, as opposed to being hand drawn, I was more than disappointed. A classic characters such as Astro Boy deserves to make the jump to big screen in the medium that e became popular in. However, after watching what they did with CGI, I can’t say that I was disappointed. As you know if you’re a regular reader, I’m no fan of CGI, so for me to say that means they did something special.

Voice casting here was pretty good, although, given Toby’s age, I would have gone for a younger actor. Also, Nicolas Cage’s voice seemed to both work and not work as Dr. Tenma. That could have something to do with the way was reading his lines and how they were written, but he didn’t really sell me on his portrayal. Donald Sutherland’s voice just didn’t work. Well, let me take that back. It worked when you weren’t looking at his character, but to see President Stone with Donald Sutherland’s voice just seemed a bit odd and out of place for me, and ruined that part of the film. The rest of the cast is outstanding, especially Bill Nighy doing double duty and Samuel L. Jackson making a voice cameo as Zog.

If you’re familiar with the story of Astroboy, then you know the obvious comparison to Pinnnochio is inevitable, but once he falls to the surface and meets Hammegg, you the  film takes on an Oliver Twist vibe. I was fully expecting them to bust out into song at any minute.

There are a lot of comedic moments in here, which really make the film very entertaining, especially when you think about how dark this film could be, but some of the pop culture references, as with many animated films these days, just took away from the film, as opposed to enhancing it.

Action is the word of the day when you watch this. There is lots of it in here. As the film progresses there is more and more of it, which I really liked. On top of that, it doesn’t take away from the plot, nor are these action scenes just thrown in there for the fun of it. They help move the story along and establish Astroby as a superhero.

The design of Astroboy was a bot of a problem for me. Not that there is anything initially wrong with him, but he hair kept switching sides. You’d think the animators would have caught that. Then there was the whole machine guns in his butt thing. Look, I’m all for keeping things close to the source material, but that is something they could have changed.

Astroboy is a rare remake of a classic show from yesteryear that actually works and isn’t a slap in the face to the legacy of the original. Sure, there are those that will say this thing has a political agenda, is too dark…blah, blah, blah. These are the same people who say fish shouldn’t be called fish. They’ll get over themselves. Don’t miss out on a really good family action flick. These are few and far between these days.

4 out of 5 stars