Some Like It Hot

PLOT:

Two struggling musicians, Joe and Jerry (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon), witness what looks like the Saint Valentine’s Day massacre of 1929. When the Chicago gangsters, led by ‘Spats’ Columbo (George Raft) spot them, the duo flee for their lives. They escape and decide to leave town, only to find the sole out-of-town jobs available are in an all-girl band headed to Florida. The two disguise themselves as women, calling themselves Josephine and Geraldine (later Jerry changes his pseudonym to Daphne), join the band and board a train. Joe and Jerry both fall for “Sugar Kane” (Marilyn Monroe), the band’s sexy vocalist and ukulele player, and fight for her affection while maintaining their disguises.

In Florida, Joe woos Sugar by assuming a second disguise as a millionaire named “Junior”, the heir to Shell Oil, while mimicking Cary Grant’s voice. An actual millionaire, Osgood Fielding III (Joe E. Brown), falls for Jerry in his Daphne guise. One night Osgood asks Daphne out to his yacht. Joe convinces Daphne to keep Osgood ashore while he goes on the yacht with Sugar. That night Osgood proposes to Daphne who, in a state of excitement, accepts, believing he can finagle a large settlement from Osgood immediately following their wedding ceremony.

When the mobsters arrive at the same hotel for a conference honoring “Friends of Italian Opera”, Spats and his gang spot Joe and Jerry. After several humorous chases (and witnessing yet another mob murder), Jerry, Joe, Sugar, and Osgood escape to the millionaire’s yacht. Enroute, Sugar tells Joe that she’s in love with him and not with “Junior”. Jerry, for his part, tries to explain to Osgood that he cannot marry him, but Osgood is oblivious to all of Jerry’s objections and remains determined—to the very end—to go through with the marriage; finally, Jerry removes the wig and yells, “I’m a man!”, prompting Osgood to utter the film’s memorable last line “Well, nobody’s perfect.”

REVIEW:

I got chewed a new one for having not seen this before, so I took the time to watch it this morning and was pleasantly entertained.

In the ’50s, men in drag was still pretty much a taboo thing, so the fact that this film has its stars, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in drag for the majority of the film is astounding. Also, don’t quote me on this, I believe this is one of the first films to actually show people getting killed on camera.

Let’s be honest, though, the main reason many people have interest in this film is Marilyn Monroe. As with many of her other films, she plays the blonde (ditsy) bombshell. As much as I hate to say this, but, if you’ve seem one of her films, you’ve pretty much seen what she can do. The only difference here is she sings a couple of songs and shows a bit more emotion. Having said that, she still does a pretty good job.

Tony Curtis is the real star of the picture. He does triple duty…sort of. Although his British accent is pretty bad, its still funny to see him try to pull it off.

Jack Lemmon seems to take a backseat to Curtis and Marilyn, but he does have a few good scenes here and there.

The thing that bothers me about this film is that the guys, when they are in drag, look a bit like Herman Munster. Alot of people have been saying how beautiful they are, but I just don’t see it.

All in all this one of those classic films that you need to see. There music, laughter, gunplay, and smidgen of romance. Definitely worth a couple of hours.

4 out of 5 stars

Return of the Killer Tomatoes

PLOT:

Set twenty five years after the events of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!(referred to as the Great Tomato War in the movie), the basic plotline is that after the events of the first film (where the tomatoes were stopped by the worst song ever composed called “Puberty Love”) the misanthropic villain, Professor Mortimer Gangreen (Played by John Astin), has created a tomato transformation chamber by which he can turn ordinary tomatoes into humans. By dipping ordinary tomatoes into vats of toxic waste and then placing them into the chamber, Gangreen uses music to his advantage, as the juke box that is hooked up to the chamber syncs up with the tomato transformation chamber, allowing him to create virtually anything by the use of whatever song he’s picked. With these, he plans to conquer the world. Though the veterans of the Great Tomato War have something to say about that…

This film marks the appearance of FT, the Fuzzy Tomato. Other notable characters are Chad Finletter (Anthony Starke), nephew of Wilbur Finletter (the semi-main, but more popular, character of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!) and his girlfriend Tara (Karen Mistal), who is actually a female Killer Tomato turned into an attractive girl by the device. Tara turns back into a tomato when she hears the opening musical notes of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony; however, the musical notes of the theme to Gone with the Wind restores her to human form.

REVIEW:

A mad scientist who uses toxic waste to turn tomatoes into humans. Sounds like guaranteed entertainment, right?

This film is along the line of the Toxic Avenger series, a horrific spoof that never takes itself too seriously and makes no apologies for its badness.

John Astin somehow manages to fit the role of a mad scientist perfectly. Maybe its because this role is as eccentric as  the one he’s best known for, Gomez Addams from the original Addams Family. Professor Gangreen seems to have an unhealthy obsession with tomatoes, and beefcake men, apparently.

This film is one George Clooney’s earliest film roles. My jaw dropped when I saw his name in the credits, but now that I think about it, many stars got their start in small films such as this. Clooney shows flashes of the brilliant actor he will go on to become…or at least tries to with the material he’s given.

Karen Mistal is a total babe and may very well be the breakout star of this film. Such a shame she more or less disappeared after this film. She plays Tara, the runaway tomato who hooks up with the Finletter boy. Mistal has many of the film’s best scenes and lines, and apparently has a love for cooking toast.

Since the film is about tomatoes, you’d expect to see giant tomatoes, right? Surprisingly, there are none. The only tomato that isn’t normal size or turned human is the one called FT (Fuzzy Tomato), who functions as a pet of sorts for Tara and plays a very important role in the films climax.

One review  read about this film said it best, ”If you’re looking for a serious horror film, then you’d best look elsewhere.” This is so true, though when I would see this film in the video store when I was growing up, I thought it was a serious horror film. I was so wrong.

This is not the best film in the world. As a matter of fact, it loses momentum after the first hour or so. The scene where they initialize product placement, while meant to be funny, just kills the little momentum it has growing and eventually just becomes a lame joke. I think this could have been done better. The filmmakers should take a lesson from Mel Brooks when doing such jokes. Still, this wasn’t a total waste of time. It’s a good B-movie to watch, as long as you know what you’re getting into and don’t expect anything more. Still, there really isn’t anything to brag about here.

3 out of 5 stars

The Secret of NIMH

PLOT:

An old rat named Nicodemus writes in a journal about his friend Johnathan Brisby, who has been killed that day while helping with “the plan”. As he holds onto an amulet, he wonders to himself how to help Johnathan’s widow, who knows nothing of her husband’s association with this rat, or their experience of “NIMH” four years earlier. He then puts the amulet away and says goodbye to his friend.

Elsewhere, Mrs. Brisby, a shy and timid field mouse, lives in a cinder block with her children on the Fitzgibbons’ farm. She is preparing to move her family out of the field they live in as plowing time approaches; however, her son Timothy has fallen ill. She visits Mr. Ages, another mouse and old friend of her late husband, who diagnoses her son with pneumonia, and provides her with some medicine from his strange laboratory. Mr. Ages warns her that Timothy cannot go outside for at least three weeks or he will die. On her way back home she encounters Jeremy, a clumsy but compassionate crow. After she frees him from the string he was entangled in, Dragon, the farmer’s cat, appears and chases them away. Mrs. Brisby loses the medicine during the chase, but Jeremy is revealed to have picked it up. The next day spring plowing begins, and though Mrs. Brisby is able to stop the tractor, she knows she must come up with another plan. With the help of Jeremy she visits the Great Owl, a wise creature living in the nearby woods, to ask for help. He initially advises her to move her family regardless of risk, but after discovering she is Johnathan Brisby’s widow, he tells her to visit a mysterious group of rats who live beneath a rose bush on the farm and ask for Nicodemus.

Upon visiting the rose bush, Mrs. Brisby is chased away by a large rat called Brutus with his electric spear. She then meets Mr. Ages, who has somehow broken his leg. He is amazed that she has survived from the visit from the owl, and leads her past Brutus to the rats’ home, where she is amazed to see their use of electricity and other human technology. She meets Nicodemus, the wise and mystical leader of the rats, and Justin, an extremely kind and friendly rat who is the Captain of the Guards. She learns that her late husband, along with the rats, was a part of a series of experiments at a place known as NIMH (which stands for the National Institute of Mental Health).

Nicodemus explains to Mrs. Brisby how mice and rats were captured and tortured. Injections performed on the mice and rats had boosted their intelligence, allowing them to learn to read and to understand things such as complex mechanics and electricity. The experiments also prolonged their lifespan, which is why Johnathan never told his wife, as she would have aged and died far faster than he. The rats, along with Mr. Ages and Jonathan Brisby, escaped from NIMH and came to live on the Fitzgibbon farm. The rats created a home for themselves under Mrs. Fitzgibbon’s rose bush, creating an elaborate habitation of beautiful chambers, elevators, and Christmas lights. However, the rats are unhappy (on a number of levels) in their dependence on the humans, from whom they are stealing electricity, and have concocted “The Plan”, which is to leave the farm and live independently. Nicodemus then presents Mrs. Brisby with the amulet.

Because of her husband’s prior relationship with the rats, they agree to help Mrs. Brisby move her home out of the path of the plow. However, Jenner and his hesitant accomplice Sullivan, who wish to remain in the rose bush, plot to kill Nicodemus during the move. Mrs. Brisby is told by Justin that someone must drug the Fitzgibbon’s cat, Dragon, so that they can complete the move safely. But only mice are small enough to fit through the mouse hole leading to the house, and Jonathan was killed by Dragon while trying. Mrs. Brisby volunteers as a means of repaying them.

Later that night, she successfully puts the drug into the cat’s food dish, however the Fitzgibbon’s son Billy catches her and convinces his mother to let him keep her as a pet. While trapped in a birdcage, she overhears a telephone conversation between Mr. Fitzgibbon and NIMH and learns that NIMH intends to come to the farm to exterminate the rats the next day. She manages to escape from the cage and runs off to warn Justin.

Meanwhile, the rats are completing the move during a thunderstorm. Just as the Brisby house is over Nicodemus, Jenner cuts the pulley ropes, expecting the house to fall and crush Nicodemus. However, Sullivan reneges on his part of the plan, causing the house to land elsewhere. Despite this, Nicodemus is instead crushed under flying pulleys and ropes. Everyone still assumes that it was an accident and Jenner tries to assert himself as the new leader, trying to convince them to return to the rosebush and abandon the plans to migrate. Mrs. Brisby arrives and, though saddened to hear of Nicodemus’ death and worried for her children, tries equally hard to convince the rats that NIMH is coming and that they must leave immediately. Jenner becomes angry and knocks her down. Justin rushes to Mrs. Brisby’s aid, and a sword fight between him and Jenner ensues, which ends with Sullivan, himself mortally wounded, killing Jenner and saving Justin’s life.

Mrs. Brisby suddenly hears the cries of her children from inside the house and realizes that the house is sinking in the mud it landed in. Despite the best efforts of the rats, they are unable to pull it from the mud. However, Mrs. Brisby’s will to save her children somehow gives power to the amulet, which she uses to lift the house out of the mud and move it to safety from the plow. The considerable effort causes her to pass out shortly afterward.

The next morning, the rats have already gone to Thorn Valley with Justin as their new leader and Timothy has begun to recover. Jeremy also finds “Miss Right”, an equally clumsy crow, and the two fly away together.

REVIEW:

I remember watching this film when I was younger and loving it. The action, story, and animation really grabbed my attention.

In the 80s, Don Bluth gave Disney a run for their money in terms of animated films. With The Secret of NIMH, Bluth takes a darker turn and tone than his other works, but it works with the story and source material. The animation is breathtaking and beautiful.

This film is based on a book (as many animated film are), but there are some difference, most noticeably the name of the main character.  In the book, she is Mrs. Frisby, but the film addresses her as Brisby. This is due to some kind of copyright infringement having to do with frisbees. Kinda of sad they couldn’t work out some sort of agreement, if you ask me.

The voice casting is pretty good. Many of the voices are known voice actors, but there are a couple of names that surprised me when I saw them in final credits, Shannen Doherty and Will Wheaton.

There isn’t much to say about this film. My only issues with it, is that the scene where Mrs. Brisby gets put in a cage inside the house seems a bit out of place. I don’t know id that is something to do with the book, or what, but it just doesn’t work for me. Other than that, this is a good family film, albeit a bit darker than many would like, that is very enjoyable.

4 out of 5 stars

The Long, Long Trailer

PLOT:

Nicky Collini and his fiancé Tacy, buy (despite Nicky’s extreme reluctance and dire predictions), a large trailer home (a 32-foot (9.8m) 1953 New Moon, which cost $5,345 at the time), so that they can save money that would otherwise be spent on a house, and also be able to travel around the USA to civil engineering projects that Nicky is employed on.

They have to buy a more powerful car to tow the trailer, a 1953 Mercury Monterey convertible with a 125 HP flathead V8 engine, and the money spent starts to mount up. The honeymoon trip to the Sierra Nevada mountainsrapidly becomes a catalogue of disasters. These include Tacy’s attempts to cook dinner in a moving trailer, and a cliffhanging ride on a narrow road through the mountains.

Relations deteriorate between the couple and finally Tacy storms off in a huff. But by the film’s end, they are tearfully reunited.

REVIEW:

I’m one of the biggest fans of I Love Lucyto ever sit down in front of the television (alot of that has to do with my mother’s obsession with the show), and I have always been intrigued with the on and off screen relationship between Lucy and Desi. As loving as they are in the show, this film takes it to another level.

Lucy plays Tacy (short for Anastacia). If you’re familiar with I Love Lucy, then you can tell the similarities between the characters, only Tacy is more mature and has no delusional showbiz aspirations.

Desi takes on the role of Nicky (sounds alot like Ricky). Nicky, though, does not share characteristics with Ricky. His job is never revealed, but it apparently requires alot of traveling, which is the basis for the whole plot of the film.

Along this honeymoon trip, the couple have a plethora of issues involving their brand new trailer, including how to get it up the mountains of Colorado with shotty brakes.

I would have liked for them to have met some more intersting characters along the way other than Tacy’s relatives and the people at the trailer park, but that’s just me.

Having not even been a twinkle in my parent’s eyes in the 50s, alot of the prices that are quoted in here crack me up, such as $46 for what equals a complete overhaul for the trailer, something that would start at $500 nowadays…at least.

Any Lucy fan should check this out, that’s for sure, but for everyone else that’s just looking for a good movie, then it won’t hurt to check this out. It is very enjoyable. The chemistry between Lucy and Desi is top notch, and unless you get grossed out by their excessive PDA, their love will melt your heart.

4 out of 5 stars

Click

PLOT:

Michael Newman is an architect with a wife, Donna, and two children, Ben and Samantha. One night after Michael loses his temper at the amount of remote controls in the house, he goes in search of a universal remote control for his appliances. Finding most stores closed, the store he stops at is Bed Bath & Beyond where he only found crap for bedrooms and bathrooms until he finds a suspicious door with the name beyond above it. He meets Morty, an eccentric inventor who gives him a remote control answering to the description of “universal”, warning Michael that it can never be returned.

To Michael’s amazement, he finds out that the remote controls the universe, anticipating and interpreting his wishes. After some initial fun with it, Michael discovers the remote is programmed to skip or fast-forward through sickness, sexual intercourse, showering, traffic, arguments with Donna, and promotions. In each case, he is alive but on “autopilot” during the interim, so he has no conscious experience of what happened. Michael tries to destroy the remote, but it keeps regenerating.

Thereafter, Michael is put into “autopilot” for ten years until the year 2017, and a further six years until 2023 to discover that Donna has divorced him; Michael himself has become grossly overweight and is diagnosed with cancer. Later, he finds that his father Ted died during Michael’s sickness while both were estranged. During Michael’s grief, Morty appears and reveals that he is the Angel of Death. Upon hearing this, Michael tries to attack Morty, but is unable to do so owing to Morty’s ability of teleportation.

Fearing that Morty is about to attack him, Michael wishes to go to a happy time in his life, and fast forwards seven years into the future. He arrives at Ben’s wedding in 2030. Michael is overcome with a popped artery and taken to hospital. He tells his son Ben that family always comes first, and his daughter Samantha that he loves her very much. Morty appears, says it’s time to go and fades away as Michael dies with Ben lying on his father’s chest, crying.

There is then a white flash, and Michael wakes up in the present day believing his misadventure to have been a dream, he rushes to visit his father, to atone and invite his parents to dine with him every day. He then reassures Donna, Ben, and Samantha of his affection for them. At the end of the movie, Michael finds the familiar remote on his kitchen counter, bearing a note from Morty stating “Michael, like I said, good guys need a break. I know you’ll do the right thing this time, Love Morty. P.S. Your wife’s rockin’ body still drives me crazy.” This shows that the misadventure was not all a dream, but Morty has rewound Michael’s life back to this point to give him another chance. Michael throws the remote in the garbage and begins to check his pants to see if the remote regenerates there. Then he starts to enjoy life.

REVIEW:

I’m sure that just about everyone has wished they could have a remote control that would control the tv, vcr, dvd player, tivo, etc, but who would ever have thought of having one that could literally control your the events of your life? That is exactly what Adam Sandler gets in this film.

I’m not one to go into Bed, Bath, & Beyond on my own, but I’ve always thought two things about that place. First is that it has a cool name, second what exactly is “beyond”. I’m sure Sandler and the other writers/filmmakers followed my train of thought because in the “beyond” is where Sandler meets Morty who gives him the remote control.

Had you have said that Adam Sandler would play a character that wasn’t a loser, but rather a guy that just works too hard, most people would laugh at you. It’s amazing how far he has come over time. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this role tragic, because the tragedies that befall him him are his own fault, except for the heartattack near the end. Still, there is an amazing amount of depth to this character that we are not used to getting from Sandler.

There is a sort of running gag between Michael and Morty about Michael’s wife Donna, played by Kate Beckinsale, in which he says that her smokin’ hot bod drives him crazy. I’m sure I speak for most of the male population (and some females) when I say that he is totally right. Now, this film doesn’t really showcase Kate’s acting talent or body, but that’s ok, she gets a few good scenes in there. What is amazing to me is that the makeup job they do on her to make her age is done in such a way that she stays hot.

Christopher Walken is known for doing these off the wall characters, and this Morty character is right up there with the rest of them. He seems to be some sort of mad scientist working at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but it turns out that he’s the Angel of Death. A strange and unexpected plot twist, but it gives his character a little bit of background.

I was looking through the cast and there are many children of stars that appear in this film, such as Sean Astin, Jake Hoffman, Lorraine Nicholson, and Katie Cassidy.

The real star of the film is the remote, though. This thing allows Michael to do all kinds of cool stuff that we can only dream of such as fast forwarding through sickness, muting dogs, pausing everyday actions, etc. Personally, I don’t know what I’d do with that kind of power.

This is another picture that starts off a bit slow. AS a matter of fact, it actually begins on the dramatic side, but after awhile the comedy kicks in, including a fart scene between Sandler and Hasslehoff. This isn’t the greatest movie or all time, nor is it Sandler’s greatest hit, but it is pretty good.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Jetsons: The Movie

PLOT:

In the late 21st century, Spacely Sprockets and Spindles has opened a new mining colony on an asteroid. The proposed project is meant to produce product at 1/10 the cost of making the items on Earth. However, the factory continues to be sabotaged by someone or something, and as Mr. Cosmo Spacely checks up on the ‘Orbiting-Ore Asteroid’ again, the latest head of the factory, Mr. Alexander Throttlebottom, has run off, making it 4 managers of the new plant that Spacely’s lost so far.

Fearing for his company (and profits), Mr. Spacely names George Jetson as Throttlebottom’s successor and sends George and his family to the plant. While the family is thoroughly upset from having to have been thrown from their normal life style (and the plans that they had that day), they set up apartments on the adjoining apartment community to the Asteroid and its neighboring shopping complex. While it takes the family time to adjust, Elroy Jetson meets a robot boy named Teddy-2, whom he first is at odds with, but eventually befriends. Teddy-2’s father, Rudy-2, is the plant engineer and shows George around. Judy Jetson, meanwhile, is having a hard time adjusting, and accepting the fact that she lost her chance at a date with rock star Cosmic Cosmo, but soon feels better meeting a teenage boy named Apollo Blue.

George soon figures he’s ready to set the plant running again, and Mr. Spacely is all set to see the plant working full-throttle, and soon to churn out the 1,000,000th Spacely Sprocket. However, the opening day festivities give way to panic as the factory is sabotaged once again. Over the next several days, George and Rudy-2 try to fix things, but the problems persist, to the point that Mr. Spacely heads on up to check on things.

Thinking he has to take charge, George stays overnight, only to fall asleep and be taken off by the mysterious saboteurs. Elroy, Teddy-2 and their neighbor Fergie Furbelow sneak into the plant, and meet Squeap, a member of an alien race known as Grungees. Squeap tells them (with Teddy-2 translating) that the factory is actually drilling into his people’s community, which is based inside the asteroid. Soon, Jane, Judy, Apollo, Rudy-2 and Astro show up, and realize what is happening as well. George is found hog-tied in the Grungee’s colony, and soon realizes just what the factory is doing.

But Mr. Spacely doesn’t. Seeing his factory at a stand-still, he starts it up (after disconnecting Rudy-2, who tries to stop him), nearly burying Elroy and Squeap alive under rubble, and prompting everyone in the asteroid to get top-side, where George manages to shut-down the factory, and show his boss exactly what he’s doing. After some talk, they come to an agreement: the Grungees will run the plant, and create new Spacely Sprockets through recycling old ones (thus stopping the further destruction of the Grungee’s homeworld). Soon after, Spacely Sprockets reaches the 1,000,000th sprocket, and Mr. Spacely figures that George is no longer needed at the Asteroid.

And so, the Jetsons bid their new friends a tearful goodbye, and head back to their apartment on Earth. As the family passes over the factory, the Grungees arrange themselves to form the words “THANK YOU GEORGE,” as a final grateful goodbye to George for saving their home.

REVIEW:

Although The Jetsons were before my time (not counting the ’80s re-airings), I have always been a big fan of them. To this day, I still wonder when we as a society are going to get the cool stuff they have such as flying cars, full meals in capsule form, buildings that move up out of the weather, etc.

This film marks the big screen jump for the Jetson family. For the most part, though, it just seems like an extended episode. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, except that it feels like they wanted it to be that, but at the same time wanted it to be different enough to attract younger audiences that weren’t familiar with the original cartoon. This is probably also the reason for pop star Tiffany replacing the original voice of Judy Jetson, who had actually recorded her lines before being replaced, but that’s sheer speculation on my part.

The story here is not a bad one, but I kind of feel like it could have been better. Although the Grungees were cute and everything, I was sort of expecting Cogsworth to be behind the whole thing. Fact of the matter is, he wasn’t even in the film. Back to the Grungees, they seemed to be based on Orbity’s design, but without the springs.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if they really wanted to knock this out of the park, and they came close to doing so, they should have included more of the regular Jetson characters, such as Cogsworth, Orbity, Henry, Mac, Rudy, etc. That’s just me, though.

Aside from that, this is a nice family picture that all can enjoy, especially those that are familair with and/or grew up on the cartoon. A definitive must-see for any animation fan, that’s for sure.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Spaceballs

PLOT:

Planet Spaceball, led by President Skroob (Mel Brooks), has wasted all of its air and, desperate to find more, plans the extraction of all the air from planet Druidia. They plan to kidnap the Druish Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), who is about to marry the narcoleptic Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock). Resenting this marriage, Vespa runs off from the altar with her Droid of Honor, Dot Matrix (voiced by Joan Rivers and played by mime/dancer Lorene Yarnell), and escapes into space, where she is attacked by the Spaceballs under the command of Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis).

Vespa’s father, King Roland (Dick Van Patten), hires Captain Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his mawg(half-man, half dog) sidekick Barf (short for Barfolemew; John Candy) who are desperate for money to pay back their debts to the Mafioso Pizza the Hutt (Dom DeLuise), to rescue his daughter. They manage to rescue her by literally “jamming” a radar hub (a jar of raspberry jam is hurled into it) and then escaping by entering light speed, to which the enemy ship Spaceball One then pursues by going to “ludicrous speed” (“They’ve gone to plaid!”). Upon exiting hyperspeed, the heroes realize they have run out of fuel and crash-land on the desert planet Vega. There, they meet Yogurt (Mel Brooks), who introduces Lone Starr to The Schwartzand the audience to the film’s merchandising (which is prevalent throughout the film henceforth). However, the Spaceballs, having discovered their location by using an “instant cassette” of the movie, trick Vespa and capture her again, taking her to their capital city. Lone Starr and Barf rescue the Princess again, but not before the Spaceballs have succeeded in forcing King Roland to reveal the entry code to Druidia’s atmosphere (12345), leading Dark Helmet to exclaim “That’s the stupidest combination I ever heard in my life! It’s the kind of thing an idiotwould have on his luggage!”; President Skroob walks in some time later, and after being told that they’ve obtained the combination, asking what it is, and then being told what it is, then exclaims “12345?! That’s amazing. I got the same combination on my luggage!”).

Spaceball One, upon arriving at Planet Druidia, then transforms into Mega Maidwith a vacuum cleaner, which starts to extract the air from the planet. Lone Starr uses his Schwartz ring to reverse the procedure, and sneaks through an ear to the central brain area of the ship to activate the self-destruct button, attempting to use a Vulcan neck pinch on an unsuspecting guard (who then corrects him and knocks himself out). As he is about to press the button, Dark Helmet appears and challenges him to fight. They proceed to duel using lightsaber-like weapons emanating from their Schwartz rings, (accidentally killing a cameraman in the process) until Dark Helmet tricks Lone Starr into losing his ring. Yogurt then speaks to Lone Starr, convincing him he doesn’t need the ring to use the Schwartz. Using this advice, Lone Starr summons a mirror to reflect Dark’s attack and inadvertently press the self-destruct button, causing chaos aboard the ship as Mega Maidcounts down to self-destruction. The heroes then escape as Dark Helmet, President Skroob and Col. Sandurz look on in horror . (Mega Maid’s head, its hand, and the handle of the giant vacuum—which resemble parts of the Statue of Liberty—then crash-land on a neighboring planet à la Planet of the Apes, much to the horror of its residents.

Lone Starr returns the Princess to Druidia and (since his creditor Pizza the Hutt, while locked in his car, ate himself to death) leaves without taking the agreed payment of one million spacebucks (though he takes 248 spacebucks for lunch, gas, and tolls). After disgustedly leaving a space café after an alien bursts from the stomach of a customer who orders the “special” (played by John Hurt, whose character suffers the same fate in Alien – he looks at the alien and mutters “Oh, no. Not again!”) and then imitates Michigan J. Frog, he offers a snack to Barf who is still hungry. Barf opens a fortune cookie originally given to Lone Starr by Yogurt to discover that he is a “soitified [(certified)] Prince”, and then returns in time to interrupt the marriage to marry Vespa.

REVIEW:

As a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise, I had my doubts about how the holy trilogy would be treated when this film came out, especialy after I heard about  a character called Pizza the Hutt. Of course, this is a Mel Brooks picture, so I shouldn’t really be surprised that there was nothing to worry about.

Brooks spoofs all types of sci-fi films, but its obvious the main parodoxical material is the holy trilogy.

Lone Starr, played by Bill Pullman, is a mixture of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, with more emphasis on Han. Lone Starr has all the heroic traits of both Luke and Han, and a few of the latter’s faults.

John Candy is Barf, a mawg who is obviously based on Chewbacca. Candy is in top form here. I don’t need to say anymore. The man was a genius.

Rick Moranis is Dark Helmet. If you can’t tell this is a parody on Darth Vader, then…well, I don’t know what to tell you. As with most Moranis roles, he is still the nerdy guy, but this time he’s an evil nerdy guy with power and a big helmet.

Mel Brooks does double duty as Presidet Skroob and Yogurt. I’m not sure, but Skroob fits the role of the Emperor, even if he doesn’t seem to be a parody of him. Have you noticed that Skroob is Brooks mixed up? Yogurt is Brooks’ parody of Yoda who is as wise and powerful as Yoda, but also into selling merchandising and has a bit of the Wizard of Oz in him, at least it looks that way with his first appearance.

Daphne Zuniga’s character of Princess Vespa is a blatant attempt to parody Princess Leia. There is even a scene where it appears she has the bun hairstyle over her ears, but they turn out to be headphones. She is accompanied by Dot Matrix, a C-3PO rip off voiced by Joan Rivers. I don’t think there are any other characters that look as much like their source character than Dot, except maybe Dark Helmet.

Parodies are hit and miss, as we’ve seen in recent years with almost every parody film starting with Scary Movie 3. This film suffers from some bad acting, though. I know they weren’t trying to win any awards with this thing, but the acting is so bad in scenes that I bet a 3rd grade class doing a class play would do better. Yes, its that bad, but it can be overlooked with all the other great aspects of this film. I know its hard to find a good spoof/parody these days, so why not take a step back in time and enjoy this one?

5 out of 5 stars

Bad Boys

PLOT

PLOT:

Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) and Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) are detective sergeants in the Miami-Dade Police Department. Lowery is from a wealthy background and enjoys a playboy-like lifestyle, and Burnett is married with three kids; James, Quincy, and Megan, to Thereasa

One night, $100 million of seized heroin is stolen by gangsters from a secure police vault. This is a major blow to Burnett and Lowery, because it was the biggest drug bust of their careers. Internal Affairs believe it was an inside job and issue an ultimatum—if they do not recover the drugs in five days, the narcotics division will be shut down. It is quickly discovered that one of the gang members was Eddie Domínguez, a former cop, who has absconded with some of the heroin. Dominguez is shot to death by his boss, French drug kingpin Fouchet (Tchéky Karyo), who also kills escort Maxine Logan (Karen Alexander), one of Lowery’s ex-girlfriends. The only witness to the crime is Max’s best friend Julie Mott (Téa Leoni).

Although she has never met him, Julie will only testify to Lowrey, but he is out of contact when she threatens to run, so Burnett is forced to impersonate him in order to get her to co-operate. In order to continue the deception Burnett moves Julie into Lowrey’s apartment, which he himself has to move into, while Lowrey moves in with Burnett’s family and claims to be Burnett in Julie’s presence while Burnett claims to be Lowrey.

Eventually, Fouchet and his gang of criminals learn where Julie is and kidnap her. Burnett, Lowrey and two other members of the Miami P.D. organize a plan to stop the criminals from killing Julie and selling the drugs to a Colombian drug lord. A final shoot-out erupts between Burnett, Lowrey and the drug dealers. The criminals are eliminated, Julie is saved in the process and Lowrey kills Fouchet.

REVIEW:

In 1995, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence were big television stars. Fast forwards nearly 15 years…Smith is now arguably the biggest movie star in the world and Lawrence has recreated his image as a family film actor. Who would have thought, right?

Smith plays Mike Lowery, a cocky, womanizer cop who appears to have inherited some money from his parents (it is never really explained other than a brief mention). As usual with Smith, he takes it to the next level. Granted that level was much lower at this point of his career, its still impressive.

Lawrence, plays his partner Marcus Burnett, a married man who has to pose as Mike in order to get a witness to a crime, played by Tea Leoni, to testify. Compared to his character on Martin, Marcus is a total departure for Lawrence. Unfortunately for Martin, this characterization is the same as many of his recent roles.

Tea Leoni comes off as a bit annoying in her role as Julie, the witness, but I guess someone had to be not so likable, right? I will say this about her, with dark hair, she resembles Megan Fox…foreshadowing by Michael Bay, perhaps?

This is an action packed film directed by Michael Bay, so you know you’re going toget lots of explosions and some comedy thrown in there. While everything doesn’t blow up on the screen, there are quite a few explosions. Women will love seeing Smith running down the street with his shirt wide open. Sorry guys, we don’t get anything from Tea.

Critics have said this is too similar to Lethal Weapon and other buddy cop films. I can see the similarities, but at the same time, I don’t understand why they have to be compared. These are all different films. As I always say, critics just need to get over themselves and remember what its like to actually enjoy a film for what it is.

Having said that, this is quite the ride. The climactic fight scene at the end is the icing on the cake. Excellent writing and direction make this a very entertaining film that is just flat out fun. A must-see for any action-comedy fan.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Clue

PLOT:

In 1954, against a backdrop of McCarthyism, six strangers are invited to a party in a secluded New England mansion. They are met by the house butler, Wadsworth (Tim Curry), who reminds them each that they have been given pseudonyms to protect their true identity. After dinner, Wadsworth reveals the true nature of the party: each of the guests have been blackmailed by Mr. Boddy (Lee Ving) to hide their secrets. Mr. Green (Michael McKean) is a gay employee of the State Department, which if revealed will cost him his job. Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan) is the wife of a politician who has been accepting bribes for her husband. Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd) is a psychiatrist who has committed adultery with his female patients. Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren) operates an illegal Washington, D.C. bordello. Colonel Mustard (Martin Mull) has been stealing components from military aircraft to sell on the black market. Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn) has had several husbands that have mysteriously died or disappeared, leaving their fortunes to her. Wadsworth reveals he has also been blackmailed to keep secret that his wife has many socialist friends. Wadsworth reveals that he has gathered all the guests together to confront Mr. Boddy (who is due to arrive shortly) and turn him over the police.

When Mr. Boddy arrives and realizes the setup, he reminds the guests that he can reveal their secrets in police custody and offers them an alternative proposition: by using weapons that he has provided to each of them, they can kill Wadsworth and destroy the evidence, keeping their secrets safe while he continues to blackmail them. Mr. Boddy turns out the lights in the room, creating a moment of chaos, and when they are brought back up, Mr. Boddy is dead. The guests all quickly deny killing him. Wadsworth and the guests try to deduce who killed Mr. Boddy by exploring the house. During their slapstick explorations, the cook (Kellye Nakahara) and the maid Yvette (Colleen Camp) are also murdered, along with three others that visit the house during their investigation: a stranded motorist (Jeffrey Kramer), a police officer looking for the motorist (Bill Henderson), and a singing telegram girl (Jane Wiedlin).

Wadsworth comes to the conclusion that he knows who the murderer is, and runs through a frantic re-enactment of the entire evening with the guests in tow. Wadsworth points out that the victims in the other murders were tied to the secrets of the guests. In preparation to reveal the murderer of Mr. Boddy, Wadsworth turns off the electricity to the house. At this point, the story proceeds to one of three endings: A, B, or C. In the film’s initial theatrical run, some theaters announced which ending the viewer would see. In the home video release, the three endings are shown sequentially, with the first two characterized as possible endings, but ending C being the true one.

Ending A

Miss Scarlett is the true culprit, having used her former call-girl Yvette to murder Mr. Boddy and the cook, while she herself killed the others to keep her true business of “secrets extortion” safe, planning on using the information learned tonight for her own benefit. Wadsworth reveals himself to be an FBI agent and arrests Miss Scarlett as police secure the house.

Ending B

Mrs. Peacock is revealed as the murderer of all the victims, and escapes after holding the others at gunpoint. However, Wadsworth reveals himself as an FBI agent with the night set up to spy on Mrs. Peacock’s activities, believing her to be taking bribes by foreign powers, and the police quickly capture her as she flees.

Ending C

It is revealed that no one person committed all of the murders. Professor Plum killed Mr. Boddy, Mrs. Peacock killed the cook, Colonel Mustard killed the motorist, Ms, Scarlett killed the cop, Mrs. White killed Yvette, and singing telegram was killed by Wadsworth. It is revealed that he is really Mr. Boddy, and that the man that was killed was his own butler. Wadsworth had brought the other victims (his accomplices in the blackmail scheme) to the house to be killed by the guests, and thus plans to continue to extort his blackmail scheme over them. Mr. Green then reveals himself as an FBI agent and shoots Wadsworth; as police raid the house, the other guests are arrested for murder.

REVIEW: 

Having never played the classic board game, I’m not familiar with the characters or the plot of the source material. Being the over-analytical mind that I am, I think I was just overthinking things as it appears no prior knowledge of these characters is needed.

Each of the characters is well developed and introduced in such a way so that anyone can keep track of all the players, as long as the viewer pays attention at the beginning of the film and doesn’t get lost as the film progresses.

As a murder mystery, this is actually quite good. Although it is a comedy, it delivers on all fronts…comedy, suspense/horror, satire, etc. Audiences of all ages will be thoroughly entertained, I know I was.

4 out of 5 stars

The International

 

PLOT:

Interpol agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) are determined to bring to justice one of the world’s most powerful banks, the International Bank of Business and Credit which funds terrorist activities. Uncovering illegal activities including money laundering, arms trading, and the destabilization of governments, Salinger and Whitman’s investigation takes them from Berlin to Milan, where the IBBC assassinates an Italian prime ministerial candidate. Following a lead on the assassin to New York City, Salinger is involved in a gunfight in the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum. An ally of Salinger’s in the NYPD tracks down the assassin’s handler Wexler, who helps Salinger reach Istanbul, where the CEO of the IBBC is conducting an arms deal. Both Wexler and Skarssen are killed by a hitman contracted by Enzo and Mario Calvini to avenge their father’s murder by the bank. However, during the credits, it is indicated that the bank continues with its plans and is successful, regardless of the death of its CEO.

REVIEW:

Someone needs to find the person that put together the trailer for this film and arrest them form is leading the audience. This is not the action packed film the trailer leads you to believe, but rather a serious suspense drama. Having said that, I don’t want to give the impression that this film is not worth watching.

I’m not a regular fan of films in this genre. They just don’t usually appeal to me, but as I was watching this picture, I found myself riveted, intrigued, and on the edge of my seat. The twists and turns, along with the little bit of action here and there, keep the viewer’s interest, while the drama of the business end of things leaves you scratching your head. Speaking of scratching you head, the final scene, and subsequent end titles, will leave you either wanting a sequel or wondering if that really was it.

Clive Owen is more than capable of better work than this. I’m not sure if its the story/script or what, but he just seems to be uncomfortable here, kinda like he’s just going through the motions and took the role for the paycheck.

Naomi Watts no doubt took this role with the intent of doing something that would focus on her acting rather than her beauty and sexuality. In that aspect, she succeeded. She is just another face on the screen, but I’m of the belief that if you’re going to get a big name actress like Watts, you need to justify giving her the big bucks by giving them a good amount of screentime. Naomi is Clive’s supporting actress, even though she gets major billing here. She’s in very few scenes, but those scenes that she is in are pretty good and convincing.

To sum things up, this is not a bad film, it was just marketed as something it wasn’t. The acting isn’t the best, but it isn’t the worst. The story isn’t bad, but it isn’t executed to its full potential. I think that is partially due to the preconception that this was going to be an action flick. The one big action scene, which isn’t climactic, isn’t bad, but I’ve seen better. After saying all that, I will say that it is worth watching.

3 out of 5 stars

The Nutty Professor

PLOT:

Lance Perkins (Murphy) is hosting an exercise program on TV for overweight people. Professor Sherman Klump (also Murphy) gets ready for work. Meanwhile, hamsters are overrunning Wellman College and causing general chaos. It turns out that these are the school’s laboratory hamsters that 400-pound Sherman accidentally released the night before. The problem contained, Sherman is given an update by his assistant Jason (Ales) about their latest project – an experimental formula that reconstructs the DNA of an obese person to make weight loss easy. It seems that their fattest hamster, Shelley, has lost 3 ounces, proving that the serum works. Jason suggests increasing the amount Shelley is fed, but the ever-kindly Sherman argues against it, saying it could be dangerous.

He then has an unpleasant meeting with Dean Richmond (Miller). The Dean tells him that the incident with the hamsters has cost the science department most of its funding. Harlan Hartley (Coburn) is the school’s last remaining wealthy alumnus and is planning to award a $10 million grant to the college, and Klump is warned not to alienate him as well.

After class, Sherman meets the lovely Miss Carla Purty (Pinkett), a chemistry grad student teaching a class across the hall who is a big fan of his work, and falls instantly in love with her. Later that night, Sherman dines with his portly family (most of whom are also played by Murphy), and argues with them about obesity. Cletus, his ravenous father, starts his habit of randomly passing gas. Treating this disgraceful procedure religiously, he breaks wind to the point where he has soiled himself (6 times). Sherman is hurt by the comments his father, Cletus, makes, but Sherman’s mother, Anna, tells him that he is “beautiful inside and out”, prompting Sherman to attempt to ask Carla out on a date, which she accepts.

While watching Lance Perkins on TV giving one his speeches of motivation, Sherman falls asleep and dreams he is making out with Carla on a beach but she gets buried into the sand by Sherman’s weight, Sherman awakes to Perkins telling the viewers to get up and tell themselves “Yes I can!”, which Sherman does. Now Sherman is motivated and full of energy and is determined to lose some weight. A Rocky-style montage ensues, showing Sherman trying various methods to get fit before the big date. However, although the date begins well, with Carla showing great admiration for Sherman’s work with Shelley, it turns into a disaster when Sherman falls victim to the evening’s star entertainer, an insult comic called Reggie Warrington (Chappelle), who humiliates him with cruel jokes about his obesity. Back at Carla’s home, with tears in his eyes, Sherman says goodbye to his date.

Later that night, alone and depressed at home, Sherman stuffs himself with junk food while watching Perkins console a fat woman who tells a sad story about how a man asked her out as an excuse to make fun of her obesity. Sherman dozes off in front of the TV set, and has another nightmare in which he becomes the fattest man in the world and lays waste to the city with a single fart which is lit on fire accidentally. When he wakes, he finally yields to the temptation to try his new serum on himself. It seems to work perfectly: in seconds, he loses 250 pounds and becomes slim and fit. However, with his new body, Sherman also develops a split personality as well, the high testosterone levels causing his new personality to be overly confident and assertive, as well as demonstrating a desire to resort to violence on more than one occasion.

The following day, while still slim, he starts to flirt with Carla, who comes to the lab looking for Sherman. Quickly inventing the name “Buddy Love” for his new alter ego- based on a security guard saying “Hey, buddy, what the hell happened here?”, although ‘Love’ is his own contribution-, he invites Carla back to The Scream. However, the serum then begins to wear off, one hand bulking up and his voice returning to normal, and he ushers Carla out. Carla later tells Sherman about Buddy, and Sherman encourages her to go out with him. At The Scream, Buddy turns up very late in a brand new Dodge Viper and persuades an angry Carla (who is about to leave) to go back inside. This time, when Reggie appears, Buddy heckles him mercilessly, fires off a barrage of jokes about his mother’s weight, and finally takes the stage himself as he performed a piece from Minnie Riperton’s 1975 hit Lovin’ You and forced Reggie to do Minnie’s signature high-pitched squeal, then throwing the comedian into a piano.

Buddy returns to Carla, who is delighted with him. He gives a waiter a credit card to pay for the meal. Buddy and Carla then share a kiss. Immediately after, the serum begins to wear off and Buddy makes a quick exit, attributing it to an allergic reaction to Carla’s lipstick (The ‘bulking up’ began with his lower lip). Jason happens to be at the bar and notes the card Buddy is using belongs to Sherman. He follows Buddy into the sports car to confront him, only to learn Sherman’s secret when he discovers him in mid-transformation, culminating in Sherman having to be cut out of the car when he is too big to use the door.

The next morning, Sherman is very late for a class, and his students have all left. The Dean, however, is there, and he confronts Sherman about the sports car, which Buddy bought on Sherman’s faculty account. The Dean threatens to ’strangle Sherman and cut off his air supply until he passes away’ if he screws up again and asks him to meet Hartley at a hotel restaurant, called The Ritz, to describe the weight-loss serum.

Later, in the lab, Jason tells Sherman that he can’t control Buddy, whose testosterone levels keep rising, using his out-of-character attitude as Buddy as an example. He warns him not to use the serum again and to focus instead on the research for Hartley. Later, Carla talks to Sherman about her date with Buddy, and Sherman takes the opportunity to ask Carla to dinner with his family, who promptly embarrass him by making various suggestive comments about their relationship and Cletus farts again. His confidence low, and after Carla mentions that she would like the opportunity to get to know the caring person she sometimes sees in Buddy’s eyes, he uses the serum again. Jason tries to stop Buddy, soon Sherman tries to communicate to Jason from deep down inside Buddy and instructs Jason to go into the storage closet to get an antidote, but the muscled Don Juan regains control and locks Jason in before departing.

Buddy, who is becoming ever more aggressive, takes Carla out on a second date, this time to the hotel where Sherman was to meet Hartley. The Dean, looking for Sherman, asks Carla if she knows where Sherman is, but Carla asks Buddy if he could take Sherman’s place. With the Dean desperate to get the grant, he allows Buddy to talk to Hartley, Buddy subsequently taking all the credit for the work. Hartley and the Dean are both impressed, the Dean later asking if Buddy would be willing to fill in for Sherman on a more permanent basis.

Buddy then picks up three beautiful women at the hotel, and invites Carla to participate in some “group action”, only for her to dump him. Undaunted, he throws a loud party at Sherman’s house that night, burning all the health food products in Sherman’s fridge. Sherman, having transformed back during the night, wakes in a wrecked apartment surrounded by strange women, with no memory of the night before. When he turns to see what has happened, he is stunned. Waking up in bed with the apartment in shambles around him, however, is the least of his problems.

Carla arrives shortly thereafter to tell Sherman that she’s left Buddy, as well as to apologise about her encouraging Buddy to talk to Hartley. One of the women from the hotel the night before comes out of Sherman’s room asking for Buddy, and Carla thinks. Sherman is as unfaithful as Buddy- to the extent that the two of them actually share women. To add to Sherman’s problems, as he chases after her, he finds an eviction notice taped to his front door by his unseen grouchy downstairs neighbor and landlord, Mr. Wilson, due to all the noise Buddy and the party were making the night before. Jason then enters the scene and tells Sherman that they need to head over to the lab. Trying to collect himself, Sherman tells Jason that it needs to wait until later. However, Jason stresses that there won’t be a later, and a visit to the lab confirms that- Dean Richmond has fired Sherman, replaced him with Buddy, given him Sherman’s ticket to the alumni ball, and in gloating promises to ruin Sherman.

At home, depressed, Sherman accidentally activates the VCR, where Buddy has left a message taunting Sherman and encouraging him to take the serum once again. This inspires Sherman to take his life back, resolved to prove that he can defeat Buddy. He and Jason start destroying all the serum samples, but when he sips a diet drink that Buddy has craftily filled with the serum, he transforms again. Buddy, who has “taken on a life of his own” with a vengeance, tells Jason that he has calculated that, if he drinks 500 mL of the serum, he will have enough cellular stability to be thin forever, thus “killing” Sherman; however, he cannot drink all of that serum at once, as it will (literally) kill Sherman and Buddy with it. Buddy, however, has a plan, to drink 250 mL of the serum while still in the lab and the other 250 at the alumni ball. He then knocks Jason out and heads to the alumni ball to carry out his plan, which will simultaneously prove the validity of Sherman’s research.

Buddy arrives at the ball three hours late and starts acting rowdy to the disgrace of Dean Richmond, who scolds him for not being there on time. Buddy responds by threatening the Dean in the same way he threatened Sherman (by strangling him to death). He then begins to make his way to the stage, where his plan will be put into place.

Back at the lab, Jason regains consciousness just in time to see a warning on the lab computer that Buddy’s testosterone levels are at a lethally high 60,000% and darts out of the lab to head for the ball. There, Buddy begins to demonstrate the effects of the serum to the amazed audience (which includes the Dean, Carla, Hartley, and Sherman’s parents), allowing himself to briefly ‘bulk up’ just enough to demonstrate how one sip of the serum is effective enough to make him then. Then, as he prepares to drink the second dose of serum to stay Buddy Love forever, Jason runs in, and tries to stop him. Buddy punches Jason, but Jason hits back.

As Buddy stands poised to return a blow, Sherman starts to “fight” him for control of his body: fat and thin body parts- beginning with his right fist and subsequently varying around the rest of his body- alternate with increasing speed while Buddy’s voice shouts “You can’t beat me!” and Sherman’s voice replies “Yes I can!”. Eventually, after a violent transformation/confrontation, Sherman wins the struggle. Still on stage, he tells the awed alumni that, while he started out wanting to help people, what he did was selfish and foolish, and that he has learned that the important thing is to accept himself as he is, rather than being unhappy about how much he weighs. He leaves, but Carla stops him and asks why did he lie. He explains that he did not believe that she would accept him and she assures him that it doesn’t matter if he is overweight or not. Carla asks him to dance and he agrees yes, Jason subsequently arriving with a tuxedo that fits. The two subsequently dance for the rest of the night, much to the approval of Jason and Sherman’s family. Harley then tells the Dean that he’s decided to give Sherman the grant because he’s “a brilliant scientist, and a gentleman.”

REVIEW:

In Coming to America, Eddie Murphy showed us that he could turn himself into totally different characters with a little makeup and his natural talents. Characters that we would never know were him if not for the acknowledgement in the end credits.

Murphy takes on the mantle of about 7 characters in this film. A few you can tell are him. Obviously, the main character, Sherman Klump, is Murphy, but so are all the other Klumps, except for the youngest. If you look close enough, you can tell that they are Murphy, but the brother had me fooled into believe was not Murphy. 

This is Eddie Murphy at his best, not to mention the fact that he doesn’t look weird as he does these days. With a mixture of gross out comedy, natural comedic genus, and some heartfelt loser moments, e makes Sherman Klump a tragic hero. Now, the “Mr. Hyde” side of that coin, Buddy Love, is brash, cocky, annoying, basically its everything people said Murphy was in the early days of his career. I have to wonder if he drew on that as part of the character’s development.

Jada Pinkett-Smith plays Sherman (and Buddy)’s love interest, Dr. Carla Purty. Yes, her name is Purty. The name comes from the original The Nutty Professorfilm starring Jerry Lee Lewis. Pinkett-Smith doesn’t quite seem comfortable in this role. I think that may be because most of the parts I’ve seen her in are strong women, and Carla is more of a subdued character. Having said that, aside from the strange tan hair, she has never looked better.

Dave Chappelle makes a brief, but memorable appearance as Reggie Warrington, a comic whose shtick is making fun of people’s flaws. It is he who inadvertently pushes Sherman to create the formula that “releases” Buddy Love. At the time this film was made, Chappelle was still relatively unknown, so no doubt, this role got him noticed.

With all the talk of obesity these days, its good to take a step back and see a film that makes fun of the obsession with being thin. Granted there wasn’t that big of a problem in ‘96, and especially not back when Jerry Lee Lewis made the original, but that’s not the point. It’s good to know that a film exists that deals with weight issues from a, pardon the pun, light point of view.

While many were offended by the infamous table scene, that is one of the best parts of the film. Critics are just too stuck on their high horse to enjoy anything. Sometimes its just good to forget everything you know and enjoy something as its made. That is the real fun of films such as this one. I love this film. Its not the best picture in the world, but it accomplishes its goal of making the audience laugh, maintaining their attention, and being entertaining.

4 out of 5 stars

Kindergarten Cop

PLOT:

The taciturn, stubborn, autocratic, violent Police Detective John Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has pursued drug dealer Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson) for years. He finally arrests Crisp for murder, but is unable to convict him due to the refusal of a witness named Cindy (whose boyfriend Danny was shot and killed by Crisp) to identify the killer. After Kimble psychologically humbles Cindy, Crisp is identified in a police line-up. Kimble, accompanied by Detective Phoebe O’Hara (Pamela Reed), is then ordered to go undercover in Astoria, Oregon, to find Crisp’s ex-wife Rachel and their son, who are hiding from him, and offer her a deal to testify against Cullen. Since their appearance is not known to them, O’Hara is to act as the substitute teacher of the son’s kindergarten class at Astoria Elementary School while Kimble has to track down the identity of the mother, who is believed to have stolen money from Crisp.

Unfortunately, O’Hara, who is hypoglycemic, gets a terrible case of the stomach flu and falls ill at the last moment. Kimble therefore takes the teacher’s job, much to the suspicion of the school principal, Miss Schlowski (Linda Hunt). Despite having no teaching experience — and thus initially collapsing beneath the stress—Kimble soon adapts progressively to his new status. Using his tame ferret as a class pet, his police training as a model for structure of the classes, fun games such as “Who Is Your Daddy And What Does He Do?”, and positive reinforcement, he becomes a much-admired and cherished figure to the children despite the aggravation they bring him. In turn, Kimble begins to love his cover job and his young charges, even to the point of manhandling an abusive father whose son Zach attends Kimble’s class.

Kimble becomes passionately fond of his student Dominic’s mother Joyce (Penelope Ann Miller), who also works at the school. Joyce, like many other of the students’ mothers, is on terms of estrangement from her husband, so that she will not speak of him. This excites the suspicions of Kimble. In a conversation with the gradually more trusting Joyce, Kimble learns that Joyce and his quarry Rachel are one and the same, and conveys this to O’Hara.

Crisp is released from jail when his attorney arranges for his mother Eleanor (Carroll Baker) to poison Cindy, who is the only witness. When they receive the news of Cindy’s death and Crisp’s release, Kimble and O’Hara tell Joyce the truth of their mission. She tells them that she never stole any money, but that Crisp wishes to control Dominic. She then leaves in a rush. Kimble attempts to track them down, to find that Dominic has gone without the knowledge of his mother to plant toy lasers in a radio-transmitter tower. Dominic has been raised believing that his mother has enemies, identified only as the “bad people”; to quell his own feelings of helplessness, he has made these toys and now wishes to put them into action. Kimble, remembering this, is able to retrieve Dominic. Joyce and Kimble share a kiss, as a sign of her gratitude and his protection.

During the next day, at the school, a newly arrived Crisp deliberately causes a fire in the library, which triggers the school fire alarm and initiates an evacuation as a diversion for the rest of the school children, and thus abducts his son; the other children, who have been put on the alert by O’Hara, see him and he flees. While Kimble searches for them, a frightened Dominic attempts to escape his kidnapper. Outside, O’Hara attempts to get in the building, but is kept outside by the firefighters. She takes her revolver out of her purse and runs around to the back of the school to get in, but is struck by Eleanor’s 1989 Buick Century, after which Eleanor steals her gun. In the school’s locker room, Kimble and Crisp fight over Dominic. When Kimble has the upper hand, Crisp threatens to kill his son. Just as Crisp is about to shoot Kimble, Kimble’s tame ferret emerges from Dominic’s shirt, where he had been concealed, and bites Crisp on the neck (earlier, Kimble told the children that ferret doesn’t bite), causing Crisp to shoot Kimble in the leg. Kimble grabs his gun and kills Crisp by shooting him three times in the chest. Dominic, Joyce, and the ferret escape.

Eleanor enters and threatens the wounded Kimble. As she is about to kill him, an apparently intact but injured O’Hara enters and knocks her unconscious with a baseball bat. Eleanor is arrested, while the unconscious Kimble (much to the sadness of the children) is hospitalized. During his recovery, O’Hara and her chef fiancée announce their marriage, inviting him to it.

While Kimble recovers, he comes back to the school to visit his kindergarten classroom. While he is visiting, Joyce sees him and kisses him in front of all the kids.  Other Reviewers have said the Kimble returns as a full time teacher of his Kindergarten class, and leaves the police force. This is due to the fact that O’Hara needs to ask where to send the wedding invite (California or Astoria), even though his assignment in Astoria has finished. And also, when the school principal (Linda Hunt) says to Kimble as he re-enters the classroom “They’re all yours”, and hands him his teaching whistle, whereupon Kimble is given a hearty welcome back by Phoebe and his pupils.

REVIEW:

Cops go undercover all the time, but not many, if any, of them look like Arnold Schwarzanegger. Can you imagine being a kindergartner and this giant, scary dude suddenly becomes your teacher?

Even a big tough guy like Schwarzenegger can get overwhelmed by a bunch of 6 yr olds. Part of this is because he isn’t exactly a big kid loving person and only took this job because his partner was too sick to start the assignment. As John Kimble, Schwarzenegger exhibits his typical hard, tough guy exterior. That is, until he is softened up by his unexpected compassion for the kids and fellow teacher Rachael, played by Penelope Ann Miller.

Miller is a beautiful woman, no question. I remember my elementary school teachers having a similar look (something happened around jr. high…they all became a bunch of old women instead). Aside from her beauty, she isn’t a bad actress either. This really shows when Kimble tells her he’s a cop and she has to show all the emotion of being lied to, concern for her son Dominic, and fear.

Richard Tyson is a total unknown to me. As a matter of fact, I think this is the only thing he’s known for. As Cullen Crisp, he seems to be a bit unstable, as well as being a mama’s boy. Crisp is hell-bent on getting his son back, since Rachael ran off with him and will do anything he can to see that happen. He even attacks a man in the street for a toy car set for the boy (who he doesn’t even have possession of). When he finally does manage to get his hands on Dominic, he appears to be driven insane because he doesn’t recognize him as his father. This guy is a total nutcase.

Pamela Reed brings in some comic relief as Kimble’s partner, Phoebe. Phoebe was originally supposed to be the kindergarten teacher, since she has the teaching experience, but caught some sort of stomach flu on the plane,and well, the rest is film plot. Reed has a memorable scene where she feigns an Austrian accent (which is actually thicker than Arnold’s). This film would not be as entertaining without her.

The kids in the class each have their own little quirks. Would you expect less? There is one diamond in the rough, though. Look for a young Odette Yustman as Rosa.

Is there any reason to dislike this film. I’m sure critics, naysayers, and those that are nit-picky can find something. Me, I liked it. I don’t love it, but that doesn’t mean I won’t willingly watch it again. That’s my opinion, though. You have to make you own assessment.

4 out of 5 stars

Return of the Jedi

PLOT:

Luke Skywalker, having fashioned himself as a Jedi Knight, initiates a plan to rescue the frozen Han Solo from the vile crime lord Jabba the Hutt with the help of Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2. Leia infiltrates Jabba’s palace on Tatooine disguised as a bounty hunter and releases Han from his carbonite prison, but is caught and forced to serve as Jabba’s slave girl. Luke arrives the next morning and allows himself to be captured. Jabba sentences Luke and Han to be fed to the monstrous Sarlacc. As he is about to be put to death, Luke breaks free and a large battle erupts; in the ensuing chaos, Leia strangles Jabba to death with her slave chains, Han inadvertently knocks Boba Fett, the bounty hunter who captured him, into the gaping maw of the Sarlacc, and Luke, escaping with his allies, destroys Jabba’s sail barge. As Han and Leia rendezvous with the other Rebels, Luke returns to Dagobah where he finds that Yoda is dying. With his last breaths, Yoda confirms that the evil Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Anakin Skywalker, and that Luke must confront him again to become a true Jedi Knight. He and the spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi also reveal that Luke has a twin sister, whom Luke deduces to be Leia.

The Rebel Alliance learn that the Empire has been constructing a new Death Star, larger and more powerful than the first. In a plan to destroy the new weapon, Han is elected to lead a strike team to destroy the battle station’s shield generator on the forest moon of Endor, allowing a squadron of starfighters to enter the incomplete infrastructure and destroy the station from within. Returning from Dagobah, Luke joins the strike team along with Leia and the others, but soon fears that, sensing Darth Vader’s presence, he may be endangering the mission. On Endor, Luke and his companions encounter a primitive yet intelligent tribe of Ewoks and form an alliance with them. Later, Luke confesses to Leia everything he knows about his relationship to Vader and to her, and that he is leaving to confront Vader one more time, believing that there is still good in him.

Luke and Vader board the Death Star and meet the evil Emperor, who reveals that Luke’s allies are walking into a trap. Back on Endor, the Rebels are captured by Imperial forces, but a surprise counterattack by the Ewoks allows the Rebels to fight back. During the strike team’s assault, Lando leads the Rebel fleet in the Millennium Falconto the Death Star, only to find the station’s shield is still up. As a dogfight ensues, the Emperor tempts Luke to give in to his anger and join the dark side of the Force. A lightsaber duel between Luke and Vader erupts, during which Vader searches Luke’s thoughts and learns that Luke has a sister. When Vader suggests she would turn to the dark side instead, Luke cannot contain his anger and viciously attacks his father, slicing off his hand. However, he comes to his senses and, despite the Emperor’s goading, spares his father and declares himself a Jedi. Enraged, the Emperor begins to slowly kill Luke with Force lightning. His son’s agonized pleas for help causes Vader to repent, becoming Anakin Skywalker once more. He turns on the Emperor and casts him down a reactor shaft to his death, but is mortally wounded by the Emperor’s lightning. At his request, Luke removes Anakin’s mask to look into the eyes of the pale, withered man that is his father. Having seen his son with his own eyes for the first, last and only time, Anakin dies, finally at peace.

Back on Endor, the strike team finally destroys the shield generator, allowing the Rebel fleet to launch a final assault on the Death Star. Lando leads the remaining ships deep into the station’s core and fires at the main reactor, causing it to collapse. Luke escapes on an Imperial shuttle with his father’s body before the Death Star explodes, and Lando escapes in the Millennium Falcon. On Endor, Leia reveals to Han that Luke is her brother, and they share a kiss. That evening, Luke returns to Endor and cremates his father’s armor on a funeral pyre. The entire galaxy celebrates the fall of the Empire. During the Rebels’ own celebration on Endor, Luke catches sight of the spiritual figures of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and his redeemed father, who watch over them with pride.

REVIEW:

The final film in the Star WArs saga is a fitting conclusion that warps everything thing up in a nice little package.

All the characters return for this gigantic climax, and we’re introduced to the Ewoks, as well as actually get to meet the Emperor.

Emperor Palpatine, as it turns out, is the one who has been pulling all the strings and more or less runs the universe. Before the prequel trilogy was release, this wasn’t common knowledge. Surprisingly, though, Palpatine is played by the same actor in each film, except for his brief appearance in The Empire Strikes Back. I thought it was a different actor, but apparentl Ian McDiarmid IS the Emperor.

A lot of people call the Ewoks, mini Wookies. When you see them with Chewbacca, you can see why they would say this, but I still don’t think its a good enough reason to call them that. The Ewoks are their own race and are totally different from the Wookies. The only similarities between the two races are that they are both fuzzy/hairy.

In Empire, Vader was let off the leash and wrecked all types of havoc. Sadly, in this one, he is scaled back and for the most part, is a much softre character than he is in the previouis two films, and maybe even in the entire saga.

When we first me Luke Skywalker, he was an insecure, rebellious kid. His first appearance in this film leads us to believe he’s a confident Jedi knight. In the battle about the sand cruiser, his skills shine through.

Han and Leia take a backseat to Luke’s saga, but they are not without their moments, such as their budding romance, Leia’s discovery that she’s Luke’s sister, Han getting released from carbonite, etc.

Jabba’s palace is a disgusting place. It reminds me of the fat kings or grungy gangsters from cartoons. I wonder if those were the influence. Still, its not without it’s impressive points, such as the Rancor and the Sarlacc, as well as the plethora of character alines in Jaba’s throneroom.

So, of course, I have to bring up the addition that Geoge Lucas made to the DVD in an attempt to “enhance the viewer’s experience”. They suck! first off, we have this weird song that was thrown in during the inital throneroom scene. Obviously, thiswas meant to capture the audience way “Cantina Band” does, but it just doesn’t work. Next we have the celebration at end of the film. The idea is good, but it doesn’t fit in with the rest of the film. It is quite obvious that they tacked it on. Finally, before the end credits run, Luke looks over and seen Obi-Wan, Yoda, and his father, Anakin. Originally, he saw the actor that played Anakin in the 3 films, but he has since been replaced with Hayden Christensen. Not to take anything away from Hayden, because I understand the reasoning behind all this, but I honestly think they should have left well enough alone.

The action scenes are just as awesome as the previous films. The lightsabe duel doesn’t have the intensoty of its predecssor, but the stakes are different and that influenced it, I belive. All this aside. This is a bit of a downgrade from its predecessor, but it is still an awesome flick and no one should live their life without seeing it and the other two parts of the “holy trinity.”

4 1/2 out of 5 stars