You Again

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film opens in 2002 with Marni (Kristen Bell), an acne-riddled high school senior at Ridgefield High School, with glasses and braces, making a video about how much she hates high school, and reveals how she is tormented and bullied by other girls, specifically Joanna (Odette Yustman), who made Marni’s high school life miserable. She adds that her protective older brother, Will, (James Wolk), was very popular as a handsome basketball player. However, at a very important basketball game, Joanna pushes the mascot (Marni), who runs into Will, resulting in a loss of the game.

Years later, in 2010, however, she is a successful public relations executive, recently promoted to a job in New York. When she flies home to her older brother’s wedding, she discovers her brother Will is about to marry Joanna, who bullied and tormented her throughout high school. When Marni meets Joanna for the first time in eight years, Joanna seems to not recognize her. Marni is also upset to see that Joanna fits in very well with the family. The plot thickens when her mother Gail (Jamie Lee Curtis) meets up with Joanna’s aunt Ramona (Sigourney Weaver), Gail’s former best friend who pushed her into a pool at their senior prom. Ramona is now a successful, wealthy woman who owns several hotels and a private plane.

Although Gail seems willing to put the past behind her, she still feels the need to “outdo” Ramona during their interactions together. On the other hand, Marni is unwilling to forget the things Joanna did to her in high school, unless she apologizes, and decides to try to let her brother know of Joanna’s bullying past. Her attempts to get Will alone for a conversation fail. When Marni tells Joanna that she knows who she really is, it is obvious that Joanna remembers Marni. She refuses to give Marni a meaningful apology, and treats her disrespectfully, leaving Marni convinced that Joanna has not changed. Meanwhile, Gail comes to Ramona’s hotel room for “closure” about anything bad between them that happened in the past. They appear to make up, but Ramona still seems not to be too fond of Gail.

One day on the street, Will and Marni’s grandmother Bunny (Betty White) meets a man named Tim (Kyle Bornheimer). Joanna reveals that they have dated, and Tim appears devastated when he hears that she’s marrying Will. Marni decides to bring Tim to the rehearsal dinner as part of her plan to stop the wedding. When it is time for guests to make a toast to the bride and groom, Tim unexpectedly jumps up to give his toast to Joanna. He reveals to a stunned wedding party that Joanna left him at the altar. Later, a video is presented (recovered by Marni) from their old high school time capsule. The video reveals Joanna as she was in high school: an alpha-female bully, with the footage showing proof of her tormenting Marni and pushing other students. Will unplugs the video projector before the video is complete and walks out, furious.

However, Marni is in trouble when everyone discovers that she was responsible for the video at the rehearsal dinner. Marni decides to talk with Joanna, hoping to reconcile, but Joanna is too furious and tells Marni ”I thought we could start over.” Marni is now convinced that Joanna hasn’t changed, and walks away. Joanna then starts a fight with Marni, who fights back. Will walks in and witnesses the fight. He tells Joanna that he doesn’t care about her past, but is angry that she was not being honest with him. He then tells Marni that he is furious at her for going behind his back.

Meanwhile, Ramona and Gail argue after the rehearsal dinner, and Ramona accuses Gail of trying to ruin her life throughout high school. A catfight ensues, with both of them falling into the pool. Ramona reveals that she had a grudge with Gail, even when they were best friends, because she always competed with and outdid her, culminating with Gail taking the boy that Ramona wanted to the prom. Ramona stated that Gail was already a legendary head cheerleader and prom queen, and drama was supposed to be hers, yet Gail also defeated her with the auditions. She sarcastically thanks Gail for what she did, because it motivated her to become successful in life. Gail apologizes for being insensitive, but reveals that she is proud of Ramona, and that her loving family is her accomplishment. Ramona, remorseful of her actions, tells Gail that she was jealous of Gail’s happy family especially that her marriages didn’t work out, and feared that she was trying to take Joanna away from her. The two reconcile their friendship.

Later that night, Marni finds Joanna in the kitchen binging on junk food. She finally admits to Marni that she feels truly awful for bullying and tormenting her and feels like an awful person, and that she loves Will. Marni forgives her and promises to get them back together. The next day,during a jog, Marni apologizes to Will for her actions, saying she was only trying to protect him.

Joanna and Will reconcile in the family’s old tree house, but it collapses and injures both of them when Ben Olsen (Billy Unger) loosened the screws as a part of his plan in hiding the tree house. They are both forced to stay at a hospital, which delays the wedding. However, Marni puts together a makeshift wedding at the hospital, with the bride and groom bandaged, but properly dressed and able to walk down the aisle. Gail has a surprise for Ramona, it’s Richie Phillips(Patrick Duffy), the boy from high school that Ramona wanted to go to the prom with. Richie welcomes Ramona home and wants to be her date for the wedding, which makes Ramona very happy and they appear to start a relationship. Marni appears to start a relationship with Charlie (Sean Wing), her brother’s best friend who was always kind to her. Joanna introduces Marni’s grandmother Bunny to Helen Sullivan (Cloris Leachman). It is revealed that Helen and Bunny were enemies in high school when Helen stole a boy from her. However, Bunny gets her revenge when she cuts in on Helen’s dance and takes her partner.

During the credits, at the wedding reception, Marni presents her wedding gift to Will and Joanna, it’s Hall & Oates in person performing Will and Joanna’s favorite and special song,”Kiss on My List”! Everyone then joins Hall & Oates on stage

REVIEW:

For those that were bullies in high school, You Again should be a public service announcement in what goes around can come back to haunt you.

This film has been on my radar for some time, but I just haven’t had the chance to get to it until now.

The basic premise of this film is that the nerdy girl from high school became focused and went on to big things. Her brother, though, is getting married to her arch-enemy and high school bully, though he doesn’t know it. As it turns out, there is also some rivalry between her mother and the fiancée’s aunt stemming back to high school. Maybe it is something in the gene pool, because, as we see in the last scene, even the grandmothers had issues.

This isn’t the strongest story, but it is decent enough to keep the audience interested. Couple that with the ongoing developments of the protagonists high school sagas and of course Kristen Bell (who I’ve been in love with since Heroes and Forgetting Sarah Marshall).

As far as romantic comedies go, I’m not sure this is one. Yes, there is a guy she’s hopelessly in love with, but the film doesn’t revolve around her trying to win him. That being said, some of the film’s funniest moments stem from her trying to impress or not make a fool of herself in front of him.

Reviews of this film have been harsh, to say the least. One guy even went so far as to call it “the worst film ever made”. Ouch! Granted, it has its flaws, but I actually found myself enjoying this picture. The fact that it doesn’t try to be a chick flick, but rather just a comedy centered around women I think it what was most appealing.

For some reason, I wasn’t impressed with the cast. I couldn’t wrap my mind around Jamie Lee Curtis being Kristen Bell’s mom, or that Kristen Bell was that nerdy, pimple faced creature in high school. Why couldn’t they have just found someone to play the younger version or her, and Odette Yustman, for that matter.

Strangely enough, though, Kristin Chenoweth, who may have been the best thing about the cast, would have been perfect for Bell’s mother or even a sister or aunt. I’m just saying.

Betty White. That is all, nothing more needs to be said. She’s Betty White. I will say, though, that I would have liked to have seen more of that confrontation with her and Cloris Leachman. Can you just imagine the comedic gold these two could create?

You Again is a fairly decent film, but you can rest assured it won’t be on anyone’s “best of” lists. This is one of those films that was decent, but that’s about as far as it goes. If you were to decide to watch it, chances are you’ll find yourself giggling here and there, but that’s about it. Do I recommend it? I am not really sure. I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it, but there are much worse things out there to see.

3 out of 5 stars

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

When Greg (Zachary Gordon) and his family attend a party at a roller rink, he reunites with his best friend Rowley (Robert Capron) and classmates Fregley (Grayson Russell) and Chirag (Karan Brar). He meets Holly Hills (Peyton List), who immediately becomes his love interest. Greg’s older brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick) tricks Greg into trying to skate with her and starts pursuading violent teenagers to enter the rink. Their mother (Rachael Harris) and father (Steve Zahn) misunderstand and humilate him by speaking to him on the speaker phone and carrying him off the rink.

Afterwards, Mom has noticed that the boys haven’t been getting along so she divises ”Mom Bucks” to pay them if they spend time together where they can trade in for one real dollar, but this unwittingly makes thing worse. Meanwhile, Greg and Rowley try to make a funny YouTube video by Rowley lip-synching to “Tik Tok” by Kesha, unfortunately (despite Rowley at one point sitting on a tinfoil ball with spikes made by Manny) it proves to be awful, getting only 4 hits. After a talent show is advertised on TV, the brothers see this as a big opportunity – Rowley suggests that he and Greg perform magic tricks, but Greg rejects the idea whilst Rodrick sees this as his band’s big break.

On Sunday, the Heffley family goes to church but Greg is extremely reluctant to go inside, as a melted 3 Musketeers chocolate bar, intentionally placed on his seat by Rodrick, has stained his trousers. Greg’s mom uses her blouse to cover up the stain, but the cover-up backfires when Rodrick exposes Greg’s pants. The boys ultimately end up in a scuffle on the floor and as punishment, they are to spend a whole weekend together to bond, while their parents leave on to Rockin’ Rapids. Against his parents’ orders, Rodrick hosts a party at the house and locks Greg in the basement. Rowley comes to “save” Greg, but Rodrick locks him in the basement as well, until a call from their mother results in Rodrick letting the two out, in return for their silence on the matter.

The next day,the two get a call from their mom, informing them that Manny is sick and they are returning early from their trip. The house is trashed, and the boys only have an hour to clean it up and erase all evidence of the party before their parents arrive home. When they see that one of the partygoers wrote on the bathroom door in permanent marker, they replace the door with a different one. Afterwards, Greg realizes that the new door does not have a lock, while the old one did. When their mother notices this, she confronts both boys individually. Greg confesses, but in order to prevent Rodrick from getting angry at him (, Rodrick said earlier “deny everything!”), he says the party was only a band rehearsal, and the two escape punishment. Rodrick thinks Greg denied everything, and the brothers become friends.

The boys go out for a night of fun, getting smoothies and pranking unsuspecting people. However, one prank goes too far and Coach Malone chases them into a mall. They escape by tricking him and return home laughing, only to find that their father has inadvertently come across photos of the party. Greg is grounded for two weeks with no video games and he will be sent to Spag Union Military School in South Park,Canada, and Rodrick is grounded for a month and is not allowed to participate in the talent show and will be sent to a military school in Ohio, USA. Greg tries to apologize but Rodrick only says that they are no longer friends. Then the boys spend the weekend with their grandfather in his retirement home. Greg writes his feelings about Holly in his diary, which Rodrick gets a hold of and reads out loud waking Greg up. Rodrick then threatens to tell Holly and runs towards the lobby to do so. Greg chases after Rodrick in his underwear and manages to snatch away the diary. He runs to the bathroom, rips out the pages of the diary, and flushes them down the toilet. He discovers he is in the ladies’ bathroom, but manages to escape the mob of angry women who think he is a “peeping tom”. However, he finds that Rodrick caught everything on tape via security camera and threatens to show it to everyone sooner or later.

At the talent show a few nights later, Rowley’s performance is unable to take place, as his eight-year-old assistant Scotty gets stage fright. Greg’s mom says Greg will do the show with Rowley, but Greg refuses, saying that he will look humiliated. When Rodrick goes to his band, Greg follows and watches Rodrick’s band member, Bill Walter, kick him out of the band he created. Greg bargains with his mom to allow Rodrick to perform, if he will perform with Rowley, which his mom accepts. Rodrick thanks their mom, sees Greg, and nods at him for letting him play. The magic show is a hit with the audience and Holly meets Greg and Rowley backstage to tell him she loved their show. However, Patty Farrel says it was “pathetic”. Rodrick and his band perform but the crowd is not impressed until they see Greg’s mom dancing, and start to dance along. Greg is happy for finally having fixed the problems with his family.

Rodrick drives Greg to school, as the boys have now forgiven each other. Rodrick also gives him a tape containing that “embarrassing moment” at Leisure Towers. The boys then create a new friendship, realizing it is fun to have a brother. Later, Greg and Rowely put the video of the talent contest on YouTube and calls it “Lame Band with Crazy Mom Dancing” which becomes an instant hit. Rodrick shouts that Greg is “so dead” and the film closes.

REVIEW:

Like many people, junior high was not exactly the best of times for me. Of course, it was nothing compared to the apparent living hell that Greg has to deal with in Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules.

This is the sequel to the surprise hit Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Apparently, these are very successful books and a third film is in production as I’m typing. I still haven’t read them, but I’ll get to that…eventually.

Picking up where the last film left off, everyone is now a year older, which means 7th grade. Before school starts, though, the family has an outing to the skating rink. Does anyone skate anymore? I’m just curious.

Anyway, in typical sibling rivalry, Greg and Rodrick do something to  each other which gets Greg nearly trampled by these headbanger looking skaters. All of a sudden, mom comes on and…well, let’s just say the moment of embarrassment was nearly unwatchable.

This whole film revolves around the relationship and rivalry between the two, culminating when it comes out about a party that was thrown when the parents were away.

I won’t criticize the story, as I didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with it. My issue with this film is more of a continuation of issues that were prevalent in the first film. First, there is Greg. Again, this kid is about as unlikable as one can get without being the antagonist. This time, though, he isn’t hating on Rowley (although not wanting to be in his magic act was pretty low, in my opinion), but somehow decides Chiraq, another of his friends who goes to India with his parents for a couple of weeks is invisible. Somehow he gets the whole school to go along with this, too. I hate to say this, but the bad things that happen to this kid almost could be construed to karma.

Rodrick is your typical douche big brother. He has a much bigger role this time around. Of course, since his name is in the title, he better, right? He is actually almost more likable than Greg, which is a shame since he’s supposed to be more of a bad guy. Like I said, I haven’t read the books, so I don’t know if they are actually written like this, so it they aren’t then new actors or writers are needed to save these characters.

The mom (who is quite the MILF, btw) is just too overprotective for her own good. I say that because it is obvious she is meant to be some kind of caricature of mothers, but good grief! Some of the things this woman does are just way too embarrassing.

One thing I can’t help but mention is how this flick seems to be on the same level as its predecessor. What I mean by that is that there has been no growth in th filmmaking. It is almost as if they were filmed at the same time with the same equipment and everything. The only thing that has aged is the cast. The old adage that some things get better with age doesn’t necessarily apply here, either.

Thankfully, this film doesn’t get all sappy and preachy the way so many family films have the tendency to do. Yes, there is a moralistic tone at the end, but it is more of a happy ending than anything else.

Like it’s predecessor, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules is a surprisingly entertaining film, but is nothing to write home about. Sure, it is good family fun, but the obvious target audience for this is 4th graders (I’m estimating). I said that you’d be better served by watching an episode of Recess than watching the other film, but I won’t say that with this one. Just watch The Weekenders, instead. Seriously though, I can’t not recommend this, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it.

3 3/4 out of 5 stars

Hollywood Canteen

PLOT:

Two soldiers on sick leave spend three nights at the Hollywood Canteen before returning to active duty in the South Pacific. Slim Green (Hutton) is the millionth G.I. to enjoy the Canteen, and consequently wins a date with Joan Leslie. The other G.I., Sergeant Nolan, (Clark) gets to dance with Joan Crawford. Canteen founders Bette Davis and John Garfield give talks on the history of the Canteen. The soldiers enjoy a variety of musical numbers performed by a host of Hollywood stars.

REVIEW:

I’m a fan of old Hollywood, but for some reason, I had no idea that there was such an establishment as the Hollywood Canteen, a restaurant/nightclub for servicemen to enjoy during their shore leaves during the wars. The selling point of the place was that it was operated by celebrities. Can you imagine Bing Crosby cooking your burger, Jayne Mansfield bringing it you, and then as you leave saying goodbye to Lucille Ball, the hat check girl. That is what a night was like there, and this film Hollywood Canteen shows us what it was like.

Initially, I expected this to be some kind of variety package film, but it turns out that there actually a plot involving a soldier about to return to active duty, but before he ships out, he wants to meet Joan Leslie. One night, he makes a trip to the Canteen and impresses all the workers there so much that they make a call to her, make up some faux contest which lets him kiss Joan Leslie. From there on, the film spends its time on musical acts and the soldier’s infatuation with Joan Leslie, which does end up with the two of them starting a relationship.

The plot is a little flimsy and at times can be downright creepy, what with the whole stalking of Joan Leslie, for lack of a better term. At the same time, there are some quite sweet moments, especially with this soldier who can’t be more innocent and lovable.

I do belive this is the one film I’ve seen that doesn’t have an antagonist. No, there isn’t anything wrong with that, just an observation.

A key selling point of this film is the performances and cameos from old Hollywood stars, such as Bette Davis, Roy Rogers, Jane Wyman, the Andrews Sisters, Jack Benny, Barbara Stanwyck, Peter Lorre, and many others. Couple that with the touching story and one can have quite the rousing time watching this film. However, I do think that it went on a good 30 minutes or so too long, but that’s my personal opinion. Should you watch this? Yes, it is, but this is not the film for everyone. If you’re not into classic Hollywood, then you won’t be able to enjoy this film. Otherwise, kick back, relax, and enjoy!

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Across the Wide Missouri

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In the 1830s in the Rocky Mountains, fur trapper Flint Mitchell (Clark Gable) meets at the summer “Rendezvous” with other mountain men, cashing in his furs, drinking, and enjoying contests among his friends. He organizes a hunting “brigade” into the beaver-rich Blackfoot territory, buying horses and recruiting trappers, despite protests from his Scottish friend and former trading partner, Brecan (John Hodiak), who lives among the Blackfoot and warns him that the land belongs to them. Flint outbids Brecan for Kamiah (María Elena Marqués), the granddaughter of Blackfoot medicine man Bear Ghost and adopted daughter of a Nez Perce chief, Looking Glass (J. Carrol Naish). Brecan wants to return her to the Blackfoot, to promote peace between the tribes, while Flint wants to marry Kamiah and ensure the brigade’s safety.

Pierre (Adolphe Menjou), a French Canadian trapper, and Captain Humberstone Lyon (Alan Napier), another Scotsman, who fought in the Battle of Waterloo, join Flint on the dangerous expedition. Kamiah successfully guides Flint and his men on their trek through the high passes filled with crippling snow drifts and delivers them to the Blackfoot territory, where they build a stockade. Flint narrowly escapes capture and death by Ironshirt (Ricardo Montalban), a young Blackfoot prince and war chief, who kills Baptiste DuNord, one of Flint’s best trappers. Ironshirt steals the brigade’s horses, but Flint impresses Bear Ghost (Jack Holt), who orders them returned.

Though he marries Kamiah for reasons other than love, and cannot speak her language, Flint falls in love with her. As Flint and Kamiah grow closer, Flint and Bear Ghost become good friends. Bear Ghost prevents Ironshirt from harming Flint and his men, but catastrophe strikes when Roy DuNord, another of Flint’s men, kills Bear Ghost to avenge his brother’s death. Although Brecan kills Roy, and Flint sinks into a grieving depression over the death of Bear Ghost, Ironshirt succeeds Bear Ghost as chief and resumes his campaign to drive the white trappers out of his country.

In the spring, Kamiah gives birth to a boy, Chip. On the way to Rendezvous, the brigade is attacked by a large war party under Ironshirt and Kamiah is killed. With Chip strapped to its back, Kamiah’s horse bolts during the attack and is chased by Ironshirt, intent on killing the boy. Flint manages to kill Ironshirt, however, and rescue his son. As the years pass, Flint takes Chip to live in the Blackfoot camp, where, Flint believes, Kamiah would have wanted him. Although Flint intends to have the boy formally educated in the East, Chip persuades him year after year to postpone his schooling, learning the ways of the mountains from his father.

REVIEW:

Something I was watching last week mentioned or spoofed Clark Gable, I can’t remember which, and it got me thinking. The only thing I’ve seen the guy in is Gone with the Wind, so I figured why not check out something else he was in. This is how I came to watch Across the Wide Missouri.

The film is pretty straight forward cowboys (well settlers) and Indian story, with a side plot that delves into the relationship between one of the settlers and his new Indian bride (their son is apparently the narrator).

As you can probably guess, there is some upstart Indian brave who thinks he runs everything, which includes taking over the tribe and other typical conspiracy whatnot that is associated with characters of this nature.

I was expecting something different from this picture and just didn’t get it. Everything seemed so predictable that it skewered my view of the rest of the film. That’s not say this wasn’t enjoyable, but I have come to expect better things from westerns. I could just have become spoiled by the high quality films in this genre I’ve seen, but this didn’t stack up and fell quite flat.

There really isn’t much to say about this film. Average is probably the best word for it. There are good and bad things about which cancel each other out and keep this film from tipping the needle in the positive or negative direction. Are there those out there that will enjoy this? Yes, and there are those that will hate it, as well. I cannot say you shouldn’t watch it, but I’m not gong to recommend it, either.

3 out of 5 stars

Interview with the Vampire

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In modern-day San Francisco, reporter Daniel Molloy (Christian Slater) interviews Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt), who claims to be a vampire and tells the story of his past.

Louis’ story begins in Louisiana in 1791, when he was 24 and suffering from a death wish after the loss of his wife and infant child. The vampire Lestat (Tom Cruise) offers him a chance to be reborn and proceeds to turn him into a vampire. Lestat teaches Louis how to live as a vampire. At first, Louis rebels against hurting humans, drinking animal blood instead. He finally succumbs and kills his faithful house slave. He tries to kill himself by setting fire to his house, but Lestat rescues him and they flee.

In New Orleans, Louis is wandering the streets amidst an outbreak of plague. He finds a plague-ridden girl in a house with her dead mother. He bites the young girl, Claudia (Kirsten Dunst), whom Lestat later transforms into a vampire “daughter”, to discourage Louis from leaving him. Lestat begins to teach Claudia how to live like a vampire, making her copy his actions, as to killing. As thirty years pass, Claudia becomes a sadistic killer and closely bonded to Louis and Lestat. But when she realizes that she will live forever and never grow up, she becomes furious with Lestat. She tricks him into drinking the blood of the corpses of twin boys, whom she killed by overdosing them with laudanum, with the knowledge that the blood from the body of a creature already dead is fatal to vampires. This weakens him and she then slits his throat. Claudia and Louis dump Lestat’s body in a swamp but he later returns, having drained the blood of swamp creatures to survive. Lestat attacks them but Louis sets him on fire and flees to Paris with Claudia, assuming Lestat is dead.

In 1870 Paris, Louis and Claudia live in perfect harmony but Louis is still bothered by the question of how vampires came to be and if there are any other vampires on earth. One night, while walking the streets, he meets vampires Santiago (Stephen Rea) and Armand (Antonio Banderas), who tell him that there are other vampires in Paris and that he knows the answers Louis has been searching for. Armand invites Louis and Claudia to his coven, the Théâtre des Vampires, where they witness Armand and his coven dispatching a terrified human woman before an unsuspecting human audience. Armand later takes them to his lair and offers Louis a place by his side, while secretly telling Claudia to leave him. Louis refuses to leave his beloved Claudia, however, and leaves the lair. As he does, Santiago warns him that his vampire coven knows about Lestat’s murder and that it is forbidden for vampires to kill another vampire. Louis returns alone to Armand’s lair, where Armand proceeds to reveal that Louis is a unique vampire as he possesses a human soul and is connected to the “broken-hearted” spirit of the 19th Century. Louis becomes thoroughly smitten by Armand and resolves to leave Claudia at long last.

Returning to his residence, Louis finds that Claudia has brought home a human woman, Madeleine, with the intent that Louis turn her into a vampire to serve as a companion and protector before he leaves. Louis reluctantly gives in and transforms Madeleine, forcing Claudia to admit that they are now even and can part on good terms. Immediately after, however, the Parisian vampires burst in and abduct all three of them. As punishment for Lestat’s murder, they imprison Louis in a metal coffin and lock Claudia and Madeleine into an airshaft with an open roof. The next morning, the rising sun floods the airshaft and Claudia and Madeleine turn to ash. Armand frees Louis, who searches for Claudia and is horrified and grief-stricken when he comes across her ashen remains. He returns that night to the Theatre and seeks revenge for Claudia by burning all the vampires alive in their own theatre as they sleep and bisects Santiago with a scythe. Armand arrives in time to help him escape, and once again offers him a place by his side. Louis once again refuses, knowing that Armand choreographed Claudia’s demise in an attempt to get Louis all to himself, and he leaves Armand for good.

As decades pass, Louis explores the world alone, still grieving for Claudia, before returning to the United States. He is seen and heard telling how he saw “the sun rise for the first time in 200 years”, in a movie theatre, watching Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans, Nosferatu, Gone with the Wind and Superman. He returns to New Orleans in 1988 and finds Lestat, still alive but a mere shadow of his former self. Louis unwittingly gives Lestat some insight about modern technology; Lestat asks Louis to rejoin him, but Louis rejects him and leaves.

At this point Louis concludes the interview, which Malloy, the interviewer, cannot accept. He asks Louis to transform him so he can see what it is truly like to be a vampire, but Louis throttles him in a fit of rage and vanishes. Malloy hurriedly runs to his car and drives away, feeling happy with his interview as he plays it through the cassette player. Just then, Lestat appears, attacking him and taking control of the car. Revived by Malloy’s blood, he then offers a dying Malloy “the choice [he] never had” as they drive off into the San Francisco night, taking out the cassette and turning on the radio, which is playing Guns N’ Roses cover of The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil”.

REVIEW:

I guess this is just vampire weekend, what with this and Underworld: Awakening yesterday. I may even go listen to some Vampire Weekend after I finish this post. A little “A-Punk” or “Giving Up the Gun” never hurt anyone.

I’ve mentioned my ever-growing frustrations with those sparkly, girly ”vampires” in other franchises (those that shall not be named). Well, they aren’t here either. If you’re looking for those kind of abominations, this is not the film for you.

First thing I should say about this film is that, with the exception of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, I belive this is the first film that truly shows the plight of the vampire as they cope with immortality and the changing times.

In case you are not familiar with the source material, this flick is based on a novel by Anne Rice, The Vampire Chronicles. I have not read the books, so I can’t comment on how close the filmmakers kept with the source material, but from what I hear, they did a much better job than what was done with the “sequel” Queen of the Damned, which took out much of the major plot points and characters and left very little of the actual stories it was to be based on.

The story is told through the eyes of Louis, as he is telling a reporter his life/death story so that it can be published. I’m not quite sure what the reporter was trying to do or how this meeting was set up, but I’d imagine that may be covered in the books.

We learn of the kind of person Louis was and how he was turned by the vampire Lestat. Keep in mind this all happens in New Orleans in the 18th-19th centuries, so random killings weren’t on the news or internet 5 seconds later, women were looser (that’s saying something about New Orleans…lol), and life was all around more decadent and fitting to the life of a vampire.

As you can imagine, the lust for blood in the two does eventually get noticed and they are forced to find other accommodations after Louis burns his plantation and frees his slaves. I find it odd how it was Louis’ plantation and yet Lestat was pissed that he ”…burned everything we have”. Was he given part ownership of the place or something?

As the film progresses, they turn Claudia, a little girl whose parents were dying of the plague and who becomes their “daughter”. Years pass and she begins to lash out, going so far as to orchestrate the killing of Lestat, which causes her and Louis to flee to Paris where they meet a theatre troupe of vampires led by Armand.

It turns out, though, that these vampires are not exactly keen on the idea of killing one’s own and feel that Louis and Claudia must be punished. Things get quite interesting as the film draws to its conclusion after that point.

The vampires in this film are about as blood thirsty as they come. Well, with the exception of Louis who is not a killer and prefers to drink of rats rather than take a human life. You won’t find these vampires whining about their feelings or some nonsense such as that.

The look of the vampires, though is a bit of a strange thing for me. On one hand, they look as human as you or I, with the exception of the teeth, of course, and maybe the eyes. However, they have a very effeminate look to them. This may have to do with the era in which this is set, though.

The cast is terrific. I think this is one of the few times where I actually enjoy Tom Cruise on-screen. Apparently, Lestat is a major character in vampire lore, so this is a pretty big undertaking. The author of the books was not a fan of the casting of Cruise, but after she saw his performance, she was sold and even sent him a letter of apology. Now that is getting the seal of approval!

Brad Pitt is ok as Louis, but he comes off at times as cold and/or aloof. Part of this is the personality of the character, but something tells me he could do better, but hey, at least he’s being a real vampire.

With names sch as Cruise, Pitt, Antonio Banderas, and Christian Slater, you’d think they’d be the hamming it up and such, but that isn’t the case. In fact, they aren’t even the best part of the cast.

That honor goes to the debut of a young Kirsten Dunst. For such a young age, she sure had some chops back then, and this was really a mature role. She pulls it off like a wily veteran twice her age. No wonder she’s still around today, regardless of how milquetoast she was in the Spider-Man movies.

How does this film rate with me, I bet you’re asking? Well, to be honest with you, I actually like it. No, it isn’t my favorite vampire flick. Far from it, as a matter of fact, but if it were to be suggested or come on television, I’m for certain to give it a look-see. It is definitely worth your time.

4 out of 5 stars

An American in Paris

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Jerry Mulligan (Gene Kelly), an American World War II veteran, is now an exuberant expatriate in Paris trying to make a reputation as a painter. His friend, Adam (Oscar Levant), is a struggling concert pianist who is a long time associate of a French singer, Henri Baurel (Georges Guétary). A lonely society woman, Milo Roberts (Nina Foch), takes Jerry under her wing and supports him, but is more interested in Jerry than his art. Jerry remains oblivious to her feelings and falls in love with Lise (Leslie Caron), a French girl he meets at a restaurant. Lise loves him as well but she is already in a relationship with Henri, to whom she feels indebted for keeping her safe during World War II. For most of the film Jerry is unaware of Lise’s relationship with Henri.

Eventually Jerry learns that Lise is in love with him but is marrying Henri the next day. He invites Milo to a masked ball that night. At the raucous masked ball, with everyone in black-and-white costumes, Milo learns from Adam that Jerry is not interested in her, and Henri overhears Jerry and Lise saying goodbye to each other. When Henri and Lise drive away, Jerry daydreams about being with her all over Paris to the tune of the George Gershwin composition An American in Paris. His reverie is broken by a car horn, the sound of Henri bringing Lise back to him. They embrace as the Gershwin composition (and the film) ends.

REVIEW:

Someone once asked me why it is that I like classic films, especially musicals so much. Well, the answer lies in the films of Gene Kelly. No, I don’t have a man crush on the guy. Although his physique is something to be envied, for sure.

I am in awe of his films because, of the handful I’ve seen, all have been fun from beginning to end, some more than others, of course. An actor than can sing, dance, and act was a common thing back, then, but few did it to such a level as Mr. Kelly. I challenge you to name someone today that can do the same!

An American in Paris is another gem in the Kelly crown, but he actually isn’t the star of the film. Let me explain that statement. Yes, he is the star, but this musical features the music of George Gershwin, one of, if not THE BEST, of America’s composers.

I always say for a musical to be successful, then the music has to capture the audience. No one’s tunes have done a better job of this the Gershwin’s, though I’m sure you can make a case for some other composers such as Cole Porter, Stephen Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein, etc.

These songs, however, were not written specifically for this production. As a matter of fact, with the exception of a couple of Gershwin piano pieces “Concerto in F for Piano and Orchestra” and “An American in Paris”, these are all recycled material from other Gershwin shows.

While the songs are recycled, they are given new life by different interpretations. Take for instance “I Got Rhythm”. Gene Kelly’s version is not the same as the one we are all familiar with, but is still recognizable. Having said that, I could have done without the kids messing it up.

Along with music, one has to have a great story. Usually, musicals involve some type of love story, and that is what we get here. As a matter of fact, we get this sort of love triangle going on that is quite intriguing to watch unfold and keeps you on the edge of your seat to find out what is going to happen in the end.

Finally, there has to be a competent cast to pull off these characters. Well, I’ve already said my piece about Gene Kelly, but it should also be noted that he is quite charming and charismatic in this role, though, as someone who saw this put it, if he’s supposed to be a struggling painter, why does he look like he has his own personal trainer?

Leslie Caron, who is the object of Kelly’s affections is pretty good here. I mean, she didn’t really have much to do other than have that innocent deer-in-the headlights look that many ingenues are known to have. I particularly like how she isn’t drop dead gorgeous, but rather a woman of above average looks. That’s my opinion, of course. I think we all know that if this was filmed today, some woman who sold her soul to the devil for the gift of beauty would be cast in this role, regardless of her talent and whatnot.

The supporting characters played by Nina Foch, Oscar Levant, and Georges Guétary really flesh out the cast. Guétary is especially special because he forms the 3rd point of the love triangle. The conflict between he and his new friend never becomes that heated, bt there is some disconnect there.

The setting of Paris is actually a sound stage, but for me, it didn’t matter. I’m sure there are those that would have much preferred the real deal, though. Sure, there are times when it looks fake, but you have to keep in mind this is a film from 1951. Back then, people paid attention to the actors and what they were doing, not to the unnecessary stuff going on behind them.

The final dance scene is some of Kelly’s finest works. I believe he choreographed this himself. Couple this masterful dance sequence with the genius of the titular tune by Gershwin and you have created magic on the screen. Yes, there are those that complain about it being a bit of filler there at the end, but there are two things to remember.

First, this is a film that stars Gene Kelly. Do you honestly expect there to not be some kind of major dance sequence?

Second, it fits the way the story and isn’t shoehorned in there, the way somethings tend to be in films I see.

“An American in Paris” is my 2nd favorite Gershwin composition behind “Rhapsody in Blue” (not counting his musical songbook, of course). In college, I even did a term paper on him that, to this day, is the only A that professor has ever given on a paper. Needless to say, this was a real treat to enjoy this music coupled with great performances and pretty good story.

All that said, this is not my favorite Gene Kelly picture. That honor will probably always go to Singin’ in the Rain (despite the butchering the Glee kids did to that immortal song). This is one of those pictures that has it all. For goodness sakes, this film has won numerous awards and accolades including the Academy Award for Best Picture (back then there wasn’t a disconnect between critics and movie goers, so this actually meant something). This great film is not perfect, but it is pretty close. I have to say that is falls in the category of must-see before you die!

4 3/4 out of 5 stars

Trading Places

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Duke brothers Randolph (Ralph Bellamy) and Mortimer (Don Ameche) own Duke & Duke, a successful commodities brokerage in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Holding opposing views on the issue of nature versus nurture, they make a wager and agree to conduct an experiment switching the lives of two people at opposite sides of the social hierarchy and observing the results. They witness an encounter between their managing director—the well-mannered and educated Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd), engaged to the Dukes’ grand-niece Penelope (Kristin Holby)—and a poor street hustler named Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy); Valentine is arrested at Winthorpe’s insistence because of a suspected robbery attempt. The Dukes decide to use the two men for their experiment.

Winthorpe is publicly framed as a thief and drugs are planted on him when he is arrested. He is fired from his job, his bank accounts are frozen, and he is denied entry to the Duke-owned town-house where he resides. He befriends a prostitute named Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis) who allows him to stay at her apartment on the condition of receiving a reward once he re-establishes himself in society. Winthorpe soon finds himself ostracized and abandoned by Penelope and his former friends. Meanwhile, claiming to operate an assistance program for the underprivileged, the Dukes bail Valentine out of jail, install him in Winthorpe’s position at the company and give him use of Winthorpe’s home. Valentine quickly becomes well-versed in the business and acts well-mannered, even applying his street smarts to the job.

During the firm’s Christmas party, Winthorpe is caught planting drugs in Valentine’s desk in a desperate attempt to get his job back. After Winthorpe flees, Valentine hides in a bathroom stall to smoke a joint he took from the desk. The Dukes enter the bathroom and, unaware of Valentine’s presence, discuss in detail the outcome of their experiment and settle their wager for $1. Valentine overhears their exchange and learns that the Dukes have no intention of keeping him in the job due to his race. Valentine decides to seek out Winthorpe.

Having unsuccessfully attempted suicide by shooting himself with a semi-automatic pistol (which fails to go off till after he throws it away), Winthorpe again attempts suicide in Ophelia’s apartment by overdosing on pills. Valentine, Ophelia and Winthorpe’s former butler Coleman (Denholm Elliott) nurse him back to health and inform him of the Dukes’ experiment. On television, they learn of a Clarence Beeks (Paul Gleason) transporting a secret report on orange crop forecasts. Winthorpe and Valentine recall large payments made to Beeks by Duke & Duke and realize that the Dukes are planning to obtain this report to corner the market on frozen orange juice. The group agrees to disrupt their plan as revenge.

Learning of Beeks’ travel plans, the four get aboard his train (aboard which a New Year’s Eve costume party is also being thrown) to switch the report in Beeks’ possession with a forgery. Beeks uncovers their scheme and attempts to kill them. He fails, because of the interference of a drunken partier in a gorilla costume, and is subdued, and the group dress him in a gorilla costume and lock him in a cage with a real gorilla. The forgery is then delivered to the Dukes, while Winthorpe and Valentine head to the World Trade Center to buy out the Dukes, Coleman and Ophelia providing the necessary money.

On the commodities trading floor at Four World Trade Center, the Dukes commit all their holdings (Randolph doing so against Mortimer’s advice) to buying frozen concentrated orange-juice futures contracts; other traders follow their lead, inflating the price. Before the real crop report is declassified, Valentine and Winthorpe sell futures heavily at the increased price. After the forecast that the orange crop will be normal, the price of orange-juice futures plummets. Valentine and Winthorpe successfully cover their short sales, turning a profit of more than three hundred million American dollars. The Dukes fail to meet a margin call and are ruined, being left owing three hundred and ninety-four million American dollars for futures now worth a fraction of what they contracted to pay. Valentine and Winthorpe explain to the Dukes that they had made a wager on whether they could get rich while making the Dukes poor simultaneously. Valentine collects $1 from Winthorpe (who had believed their revenge plan would fail) while Randolph collapses holding his chest, a heart attack having seized him, and Mortimer shouts angrily at his brother about their failed plan.

Beeks and the gorilla are last seen being loaded onto a ship headed to Africa, while Valentine, Winthorpe, Ophelia, and Coleman relax on a luxurious yacht in an un-named tropical locale.

REVIEW:

When you mess with people’s lives, more often than not, it will come back and bite you in the end. Just ask the two antagonists of Trading Places, who you may recognize as the two bums outside the restaurant in Coming to America.

I was just reading some reviews about this film, and, of course some people are trying to make this more than just a film, but rather some sort of philosophical benchmark. One person even went so far as to call it opera for our time (even though there isn’t a single word sung in this picture). Isn’t it amazing how some people can’t just let a movie be a movie?

Imagine if you will, you are a rich yuppie managing editor. Everything is going your way, even things with your fiancée. All of a sudden one day, you have a run-in with a guy on the street whom you think was trying to steal your briefcase (when in actuality it was he just knocked it out of your hand was trying to give it back to you). After giving chase around your place of business, the police capture the thief and you decide to press charges.

Unbeknownst to you, though, your bosses have bailed him out and are preparing to ruin your life for the sake of their entertainment and a social experiment to prove which side of the argument is more valid, nature or nurture.

Now imagine what it must be like to find be framed for theft and drug use, which gets you fired, and subsequently causes the end of your relationship. My, my how things have gone down for you in a hurry, but as quickly as things have gone down for you, they seem to have been getting better for the guy who you thought tried to steal your briefcase.

So, yeah, that is the plot of this picture. Nothing too fancy or complicated, just good old 80s comedy, starring some two of the funniest guys of the time Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd, plus season veterans Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy.

There is part of this flick that can leave you scratching your head. I’m not too well versed in the ways of the stock market, so anytime they got to talking about that stuff, it went right over my head. Luckily, though, that isn’t the major plot device of the film, except for near the end.

If you ever want to see comedic genius, then you have to go back to bygone years and find films such as this. Unfortunately, though, the film does suffer from some issues that bring it down.

The first is that it, while this is a pretty good story, that is all is it is. I’m not really sure why, but it just never really seemed to capture my attention the way it should have.

Second, I could be wrong, but it just seems as if there should be some law against messing with people’s lives like this. For goodness sakes, these guys ruined Winthorpe’s relationship among other things for $1, all so that they could be entertained. Hell, if they were that hard up for a dollar, why not have him and Billy Ray fight as gladiators?

Finally, the whole gorilla thing near the end seemed a bit shoehorned in there. It just didn’t fit with the rest of the picture. Do you really mean to tell me the writers couldn’t devise a better way to take care of Mr. Beeks than this? Not to mention the fact that the gorilla was obviously someone in a suit, which given the year this was released, I should let slide, but geesh!

One of my girlfriends in college was addicted to Trading Spaces, which basically meant I had to watch it, too. I can’t help but wonder if I should blame this film for my having to endure that?

So, here we have Eddie Murphy in his prime. That typically means it should be hilariously funny and a high recommendation, right? Normally, I’d be inclined to agree, but not this time. As I said, there are plenty of good things about this film, but nothing that is just stand out greatness, which is a real shame. Sure, I recommend this. It is not like this is a bad film. Its anything but that. However, it is one of many films that doesn’t seem to live up to its potential.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Limitless

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Edward “Eddie” Morra (Bradley Cooper) is a playwriter who lives in New York City. He has recently been dumped by his girlfriend Lindy (Abbie Cornish) in addition to failing to meet the deadline to turn in his new book, which he hasn’t started yet. One day, Eddie comes across Vernon Gant (Johnny Whitworth), the brother of his ex-wife, Melissa Gant (Anna Friel). Vernon is a drug dealer, and he offers Eddie a sample of a new (fictional) nootropic drug, NZT-48, claiming it allows humans to access 100% of the brain’s power, as opposed to the “normal” 20%. Eddie accepts, and, much to his surprise, the drug does indeed work, putting him into a manic state, and enabling him to write the first 90 pages to his book, exciting his publisher.

Eddie asks for more of the drug, but when Vernon asks him to go pick up his dry cleaning, he returns to find Vernon murdered and his apartment ransacked. Eddie calls the police and deduces that Vernon was probably killed by someone who wanted his stash of NZT. He finds the drugs, his address book, and a wad of cash just before the police arrive. Regularly taking NZT, and using Vernon’s cash, he turns his life around. After finishing his book he focuses on trading stocks, initially financed with a $100,000 loan from a Russian mafia thug, Gennady (Andrew Howard). Eddie gets back together with Lindy. He starts increasing his dose of NZT while he turns his loan into more than $2million in just a few days. His fame hits the news, but he notices he is followed by a man in a tan coat (Tomas Arana).

His successful trading gets him a meeting with powerful businessman, Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro). Van Loon gives him an assignment to research overnight, but the higher dose of NZT is causing side effects including lost time, frenetic activity, and hallucinations. Eddie goes on a drinking and partying binge, and ends up in a hotel room with a striking blond (Caroline Winberg). He is followed there by the man in the tan coat.

Eddie wakes up just prior to his meeting with Van Loon, and realizes he has no more NZT at his house. He hasn’t looked at the assignment, but goes to the meeting anyway. Van Loon wants to force a merger with a competitor, Hank Atwood (Richard Bekins), and can’t figure out how the head of the merger target could come from out of nowhere to be a viable partner in just 2 years. Just as Eddie begins to realize that Atwood may be on NZT too, a news flash appears on a TV screen showing that the woman Eddie was out with the evening before was murdered.

Eddie was feeling sick after his binge, and is even sicker now. His ex-wife calls him and tells him she suspects he is on NZT. He pleads for a face-to-face meeting, but Melissa is reluctant. He wants to learn more about the side effects of the drug, so he starts calling the names in Vernon’s address book. He discovers that everyone listed is either dead, or in the hospital sick. While calling one of the names, he hears a phone ring, and a person sitting close by answering. It is the man in the tan coat. He chases Eddie, who escapes and meets with Melissa.

Melissa explains that the pill makes you very sick, especially if you try to go off it cold turkey. She quit 2 years earlier, and felt she was lucky to be alive, but has lost her ability to concentrate, and has become lazy. She tells him the best way is to ease off gradually, reducing the dosage over time.

Eddie finds a pill in his pocket, and heads home to take it, but is aprehended by the Russian, Gennady, looking for his money. Gennady notices the pill, and takes it. Eddie gets his money from the bank, and the Russian tells him that it makes him feel very good.

Eddie is getting sicker as he goes through withdrawal, and stumbles into Lindy’s office. He tells her about the drug, and that he has hidden his stash at her apartment. Seeing how sick he is, she agrees to retrieve his stash and return it to him at her office.

On her way back to Eddie, Lindy is intercepted en route by the man in the tan coat. It becomes obvious that he is dangerous, as he gives chase to Lindy, killing two men trying to help her as she flees. By phone, Eddie convinces her to take a pill as it will enable her to know what to do to survive. Doing so, Lindy makes a bold escape. Though Eddie is saved, Lindy is convinced that he will destroy himself because of NZT and breaks up with him again.

The Russian enforcer realizes the effects the drug has and threatens Eddie until he agrees to give him more NZT. Because of Melissa’s warnings, Eddie manages his consumption of the drug down to an acceptable level, and uses his fortune to hire bodyguards, and recruits a scientist to work on reverse engineering NZT. Meanwhile, he reconnects with Van Loon to assist with the merger deal.

While planning the merger, Eddie is told he is a suspect for the murder of the blonde. He hires a top lawyer, Morris Brandt (Ned Eisenberg). Morris tells him that the room was wiped of finger prints, and there is no real evidence against him.

Negotiations on the merger go well, but Eddie notices how frail Atwood is. Van Loon tells Eddie that he will be paid $40 million if the deal closes. Eddie purchases a well fortified “bunker” penthouse.

At the meeting to close the merger deal, Atwood is late. His wife shows up, and says he would complete the deal, but is in a coma in the hospital. Her chauffeur is the man in the tan coat. He had been looking to get NZT for Atwood, thus confirming how he accomplished his meteoric rise.

Next, Eddie is met by his lawyer, and stands in a lineup for the murder. He is not identified. He had to pass his custom tailored suit jacket to the lawyer while he was in the lineup. When Eddie goes to take another pill, he realizes that the lawyer has lifted his stash of pills that were in a hidden pocket. To make matters worse, Van Loon accuses him of leaking the merger story to the press, and he has the hands of his bodyguards delivered to him in a box while he is meeting with Van Loon. He heads home to his bunker, and while trying to figure out what is going on, he sees Morris Brandt, his lawyer, on the television, acting as Atwood’s lawyer.

The Russians break down the door to his apartment, looking for the NZT. Gennady explains that he is no longer ingesting the pills, but instead dissolves them in a solution, and injects them. The effects hit faster, and last longer. While the Russian’s associates are searching the apartment, Eddie is able to stab Gennady. He is desperate for a hit as he lays beside the bleeding man. All he can do is drink the blood that is pooling beside him. Revitalized, he stabs one of the thugs in the eye, and tricks him into shooting the other.

Atwood dies at the hospital, Brandt having kept the NZT for himself. Eddie tells the man in the tan coat that Brandt has caused his boss to die, and gets his help retrieving his stolen NZT at Brandt’s house.

Twelve months later, Eddie’s book has been published (titled Illuminating the Dark Fields, a reference to the novel on which the film is based), and Eddie is running for the United States Senate. In the midst of his campaign, Carl Van Loon approaches Eddie with the revelation that he has bought the company secretly producing NZT and that the backroom lab Eddie was financing has been shut down.

Carl offers him an unlimited supply of NZT (admitting that they both know he is headed for Presidency); however, Eddie must use his political position to push Carl’s agenda in return. Eddie refuses, explaining that he no longer needs the drug. Apparently, having had the foresight to have multiple labs working on the NZT, Eddie bluffs that he improved the drug so that he taper off it completely without experiencing side effects, while permanently retaining its mental enhancements.

By touching Van Loon’s chest, Eddie, while still on NZT, can tell that he has a serious cardiac problem. Van Loon looks stunned. Eddie lets him know that with his enhanced thinking, he is already 50 moves ahead of Van Loon, having thought of every contingency, which wraps up their relationship.

The movie ends with Eddie meeting Lindy for lunch at a Chinese restaurant, their relationship apparently renewed. When the waiter walks by, Eddie stops him and orders in Chinese. Lindy looks at him, surprised, and Eddie asks (with a mischievous smile), “What?” Hinting that he is still using NZT. Although Eddie told he he was off NZT, Eddie is known throughout the movie for lying, with the best example being the book deal when he really just had a loan.

REVIEW:

Think about how much of your brain you use during the course of the day. Chances are, it isn’t that much, right? Well, take that amount and multiply it a hundredfold. That is what the premise of Limitless is, being able to tap that part of the brain we don’t seem to use.

If nothing else is appealing about this flick, then that notion should be enough to at least pique your interest. At least it did for me, but I’m always curious about things.

So, I bet you’re thinking to yourself, what is it in this film that causes the limitless potential? Well, it all happens courtesy of a little drug called NZT. Don’t ask me how the drug actually works, because it isn’t really explained in the picture and I don’t know anything about it, other than the fact it does actually exist. I would wager, though, that its effects are nowhere near this scope.

Now, this films isn’t all about NZT, but also how it affects the life of one man and those around him. Wait, let me take that back, I shouldn’t say those around him, since he didn’t really have many people around him other than his girlfriend and then the boss he eventually earned after some time on the drug.

As you can about imagine, he does get a bit addicted, and, to no surprise, ends up owing money to some less than savory characters. I think you can also predict what happens involving his job and relationship, right? Well, if you were to guess he loses them, then you’re half right. He does, but then somehow gets them back. The film is almost like a romantic comedy on that front.

The big turning point for the film happens after the girlfriend finds out about the drugs and in order to keep him out of the hospital she goes to get the pills for him. On the way back, she is chased by a mysterious man. In order for her to escape, he tells her to take a pill so that she can know the best way to escape. This leads to quite the impressive and daring scenes of the film, culminating with using a little girl’s ice skates to cut the guy’s face.

After that there really isn’t much in the way of action, but more suspense as to what is actually going to happen next and how is this all going to end. The tension for the remainder of the film is sure to keep the audience engaged, especially the last 45 minutes or so.

Bradley Cooper has proven himself a very competent actor in the time he’s been in Hollywood. The guy can do action, comedy, and even serious roles like this. I had no problem with him here, though that whole schlub look he had going at the beginning of the film was kind of disturbing.

Like most people, when I hear Robert DeNiro is in a picture, I just assume it is going to be a great, major role for him. I’m not really sure if that is true about his character here. While he isn’t part of the film’s major plot, he does play a major role in the overall story arc, but I can’t help but think this was nothing more than an extended cameo. I could be wrong, though. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Abbie Cornish is actually not that bad of an actress, and she’s not bad looking either. I think someone put in my head that she was trying to hard to channel her inner Naomi Watts, because the whole time I was watching, that is who I was thinking she was. Whether that is a compliment or not, I’m not sure, but one thing is for sure, Abbie needs to create her own niche if she’s going to keep working in Hollywood…unless she just wants to go around being Naomi Watts’ backup, for lack of a better term.

The story here is quite compelling, as I mentioned earlier and audiences are sure to be enthralled. There are very few special effects, which allows for these actors to *GASP* act! Who would’ve thought that was even possible? I thought this was a really good film, on the cusp of being great, but something is keeping it from taking that next step. I just can’t put my finger on it. That point aside, I would highly recommend this flick as it a definite must-see and probably one of the most underrated films of 2011.

4 out of 5 stars

Underworld: Awakening

PLOT(spoiler alert!!!):

Six months after the events of Underworld: Evolution, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is captured by humans during “The Purge,” when she and Michael were planning on leaving the city. Eventually, both the government and the public learn about the existence of Vampires and Lycans. A crusade and all-out war begins: study and eradicate. After being imprisoned in cryogenic suspension for 12 years, Selene manages to escape the facility Antigen, headed by Dr. Jacob Lane (Stephen Rea), who reveals the existences of both immortal races after his son’s apparent death when being discovered as a Lycan. During the same time, another subject has also escaped the same facility that Selene was in. That subject was Eve (India Eisley), her hybrid daughter who is the key to ending the war by “curing” Vampires and Lycans of their “infection.” After escaping, she sees flashes of someone else’s point of view, and believing it to be Michael, she follows the flashes that lead her into a garbage chute. She confronts a young vampire named David (Theo James) who has been following her, when they realize that Lycans live there underground. Seeing flashes of Lycans hunting the person she is connected to, Selene eliminates many of them until the Lycans flee and she finds a young girl instead of Michael. After Selene and David get Eve out of the tunnels, they are chased through the busy city streets in a van by the three Lycans. They finally catch up to their van and break in while it’s rushing through the city. Eve rips one Lycan’s head in half while David and Selene shoot and stab the other two. On the way Selene realizes that Eve is not healing from a wound she suffered during her fight and is growing weak. David takes them to his coven.

At the coven most of the vampires are less than thrilled that David brought the infamous Selene, the lover of a Lycan to their coven, especially his father, Thomas (Charles Dance). However, they agree to help the weakened child which they soon realize is due to her not feeding. After drinking some blood her wound heals and Selene, after seeing Eve’s eyes change while feeding, sees that she has Michael’s hybrid eyes and realizes she is her and Michael’s daughter. Seeing that the coven does not want her there, she gets ready to leave. David, not wanting her to go, tries to convince her to stay and help them start an offensive against the humans by teaching them to fight. Before Selene decides, the coven comes under attack by Lycans who were thought to be almost extinct. Many of the vampires are slaughtered until Selene joins the fight. She orders David take Eve to safety while she deals with the rest of the Lycans. Going to the main hall of the coven, Selene comes upon a massacre of mostly vampires with few Lycan corpses, then a giant “Super Lycan,” more than twice the size of any werewolf she’s ever seen. Fighting it with a silver bladed weapon, she breaks a piece off after stabbing it into its back. Selene is shocked to realize that it heals instantly and the silver had no effect. Unfortunately, Selene is no match for the giant Lycan and is knocked unconscious. She later awakens to find David’s father gave Eve to the Lycans to save what was left of the Coven. During the battle, David is bitten by a Lycan and later dies after confirming Thomas’ actions, who in turn blames Selene for all that happened. After David dies, Selene makes an incision in David’s abdomen, then cuts the palm of her own hand and reaches into David’s torso, grabbing a hold of his heart. She squeezes it a few times, and with her Corvinus enhanced blood, she restarts his heart, bringing him back to life. She then leaves to go get her daughter and is confronted by a human detective named Sebastian who confirms her suspicions that the corporation called Antigen, headed by Dr. Jacob Lane, and is dedicated to “curing” the immortal species.

After seeing the evidence, Selene discovers that the corporation is actually run by the Lycans, including Dr. Lane – who have been posing as humans in order to trick the world’s governments into believing the Lycans are extinct – and that they intend to use Eve to perfect their race and develop an immunity to silver, thus allowing the Lycans to conquer both vampires and humans. The Super Lycan whom Selene had fought was Lane’s son, Quint (Kris Holden-Ried), who faked his death after being discovered his werewolf status. Using Eve’s genetics, Dr. Lane conducted experiments on his son to make him immune to silver, but in the process, vastly increasing his size and power. Seeing the dangers, Selene and Detective Sebastian team up to stop them and save Eve. Killing the Lycan guards with silver gas grenades and silver bullets, she comes across Subject 0, realizing it is Michael and, being short on time, shoots the glass to weaken the containment unit in order to free Michael before going to stop the Lycans from leaving with Eve. Using her incredible strength, she flips the van with Eve and her captors inside, only then to come face to face with the Super Lycan, whilst Eve fights the lycan Dr. Lane. Eventually Selene goes down a hallway where the Super Lycan cannot fit, forcing it to shift back to his human form, allowing Selene to impale Quint with her hand. Withdrawing her arm, Quint heals instantly which Selene is counting on. She then throws a grenade pin at him. Realizing too late that she has put a grenade inside him, the Quint claws in vain at his stomach before it explodes, killing him, while Eve rips out the throat of the Dr. Lane. Going back inside, they find Michael’s cryo tank is empty; Eve then gets a flash of the roof where they go, but Michael is no where in sight. Selene states that the world will be hunting Michael just as they hunted Eve

REVIEW:

Hot chick in skin-tight leather kicking ass…check! Kick ass action scenes…check! Most importantly, no girly man sparkly vampires…check!

In this day and age, it seems as if we’ve forgotten than vampires and werewolves are not whiny, touchy feely drama queens like they are portrayed in outlets such as the Twilight movies, but rather cold-hearted killers that have no regard for human life other than using us to feed. Underworld: Awakening reminds us how sadistic these creatures are. Such a shame there’s no Edward or Jacob to be killed along the way. That would make this film a 5+ star on that one scene…lol

First off, let me say that I’m a little distraught in the fact that this film was only shown in non 3D theaters twice. The first was at like 8 in the morning, and the other was just before the night prices kick in. As I’ve said before, I don’t support 3D unless it looks like it would be worth it. Movies cost too much as it is already, and I’m not about to shell out 3 or 4 extra bucks for some rented sunglasses, which is what they are, in essence.

The only thing that I saw that was 3D worthy is a scene where Selene sets of a silver nitrate bomb and the particles are still in the air. I guess you can make a case for the lycans jumping all over the place, but for me, I was glad I didn’t waste the money on 3D. I don’t think it was converted post production, but don’t quote me.

For those of you not familiar with the Underworld franchise, it sums up to the battle between vampires and lycans. Selene is/was a death dealer but betrayed her coven for the man she loved who was the last direct descendant of Alexander Corvinus, the father of both factions. Her man, as it turns out, becomes the first human hybrid, and well, that takes the war to a whole new level

This film pretty starts out by filling you in with all that has happens since we last saw Selene in Underworld: Evolution. It appears that the humans found about the vampires and lycans and, in typical human hysteria, overreacted and decided to wipeout both species. I’m not really sure why they felt they can wipe out entire species like that. Seems a bit Nazi-ish, if you ask me. Turns out that they manage to capture Selene and have succeeded in wiping out the Lycans…or so they think.

Fast forward 12 years and Selene’s hybrid daughter has awakened and released her from the frozen sleep she’s been in and it turns out that the lycans weren’t wiped out after all, but are back more powerful than before.

One question lingered as I was watching this. If Selene (and Michael, as it turns out) were frozen for 12 years, how is it she had a daughter? Is she a test tube baby, or is this just some detail the writers decided not to address? Either way, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Now, someone said that in the other films the fact that the vampires need to feed was not addressed and that it seems as if they just wander around without sucking some blood. I was ready to agree with that statement, then I remembered that Selene does tell Michael how to be a vampire in the second film.

In this installment, it is made clear that they can’t survive without blood, as Selene makes sure to feed first chance she gets after getting out of that frozen state. On top of that, she tells her daughter what she needs to survive. Again, some weirdness with the daughter. How has she managed to live for 12 yrs without feeding?

Something I noticed while I was watching this is that this seemed to be all about the werewolves. This isn’t that much a problem, especially given the story and all, but couldn’t we have gotten a bit more vampires? For goodness sakes, last movie we got was all about the werewolves, remember Underworld: Rise of the Lycans?

I won’t sit here and tell you that this story is what you should be going to see this film for. Truth be told, though, if you’re going to a film like this looking for some deep, profound plot or something, then you really need to have your head examined. No, the plot isn’t exactly the best. It has its holes, as a matter of fact, but it didn’t detract from the story for me, save for some minor details about Eve.

The action is fast paced and will blow your mind. Not to mention there is plenty of it to go around, especially in the last act where everything is taken up a notch! The previous films have nothing on the amount of blood spilled in this film. There is a darker, more violent vibe here, but make no mistake, the tone and scope of the film is on par with its predecessors.

How are the effects? Pretty good, I have to say. The werewolves actually look like wolves that have changed from humans and not some weird mutant teddy bears like we see in certain other werewolf franchises (not mentioning any names). The use of the hi-tech weaponry just astounded me. Especially the afore-mentioned silver nitrate. Oh, and then there is the transformation scene of the super lycan.

This isn’t the best transformation scene I’ve scene, but it really is good. Although, I couldn’t help by draw comparisons to The Wolfman because he looked like he was in pain to be transforming, whereas the transformation in the other movies, especially the first Underworld, they seem to do it just as easy as changing their clothes.

The last film did not star Kate Beckinsale. Her decision not to return is why they went the prequel route, although Rhona Mitra is just as hot as Kate. She returns to form here, donning the latex suit that many males dream about. As for her character, she doesn’t seem to be any warmer or colder than when we last saw here, but she does seem to be quite the bit more violent, but then again, you know what they say about getting in the way of a woman in love, right?

India Eisley enters the franchise as Selene’s daughter, Eve. Looking at the two of them, I’m not so sure I bought the family ties, but if you see this chick in her hybrid form she is sure to bring up memories of The Ring. Yikes!!!

Stephen Rea could have done so much more with his role. Once the true nature of is brought out, it is like a weight is lifted from his shoulders and he goes with it, but at the beginning of the film, he is your typical uptight scientist, which is very painful to watch.

Theo James, Michael Ealy, and Kris Holden-Reid all join the cast as well. Nothing really spectacular about what they do. Honestly, you can take them out and no one would notice. Ok, let’s not go that far, but you get the idea. Speaking of Holden-Reid, I could’ve sworn I just saw him on Syfy’s Lost Girl playing a werewolf there, as well.

There are some people who just are not fans of the Underworld franchise. I am one of them. I love these movies, and not just because Kate Beckinsale in her tight leather suit. This is a good action flick to start off the year, and as I said before, a film that reminds us what supernatural beings such as vampires and werewolves are supposed to be and not those wimpy, whiny things that have been polluting the movie world and vampire/lycan lore for the past few years. I highly recommend this film to everyone. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed. Of course, if could be even better if Blade showed up, teamed with Selene and they headed up to finish off a certain glittery vampire and whiny werewolf. Wouldn’t that just make the world a much better place?

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Scary Movie 2

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

The film opens with a parody of The Exorcist, during which teenager Megan Voorhees (Natasha Lyonne) becomes possessed by the spirit of Hugh Kane, the previous owner of the House. Two priests, Father McFeely (James Woods) and Father Harris (Andy Richter) attempt to drive Hugh’s ghost out, but the exorcism does not go as planned, resulting in a chain of vomiting and various instances of near-pedophilia. Finally, McFeely responds to an insult towards his mother by shooting Megan.

One year later, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans) are at college, trying to live new lives following the events of the previous film (although most of them actually died in Scary Movie, Brenda claims in a deleted scene that her death was a near-death experience). Cindy and Brenda get tagged by a socially maladjusted girl, Alex (Tori Spelling). Ray, still confused about his sexuality, has two new male friends, Tommy (James DeBello) and Buddy (Christopher Masterson). Shorty is still the same stoner he was before.

A lecherous teacher, Professor Oldman (Tim Curry) and his paraplegic assistant, Dwight Hartman (David Cross), plan to study the paranormal activity at a local haunted mansion called Hell House using the clueless teens. Meanwhile, Buddy’s advances are spurned by Cindy, who is recovering from her previous relationship. Leading to a scene in which Buddy gives Cindy a wedgie.

When Cindy is the first to arrive at Hell House, she encounters a vulgar parrot (voice of Matt Friedman), and the caretaker, Hanson (Chris Elliott), who has a malformed hand. Later that evening, the group, including sexy newcomer Theo (Kathleen Robertson), sit down for dinner. Unfortunately, everybody loses their appetite due to Hanson’s repulsive antics.

In the night, Cindy hears voices directing her to a secret room, where she and Buddy discover a treasure chest containing the diary of the wife of the house’s dead owner, Hugh Kane. They also find an old portrait of the wife and note Cindy’s resemblance to her—Buddy also points out several flaws in Cindy’s appearance. Meanwhile, many of the teens fall victim to violent attacks. Cindy gets involved in a fist fight with the house cat, Mr. Kittles. A toy clown attempts to kill Ray — but Ray turns the tables and ends up raping the clown. A weed-monster turns Shorty into a joint and tries to smoke him – fortunately, the plant gets distracted by munchies and lets him escape. The ghost of Hugh Kane (Richard Moll) has sex with Alex in her bedroom — yet departs in the morning when Alex expresses her interest in becoming the new Mrs. Kane.

Oldman is seduced and killed by a disfigured female ghost. Shorty later encounters the same ghost, yet he seduces her instead. After Dwight equips the teens with weapons that can injure their spectral enemy, they are pursued throughout the mansion. Buddy and Cindy get locked in the refrigerator. Thinking that Buddy is dying from an encounter with the ghost, Cindy gives him a “handjob”. The couple then escape the room following a convoluted deus ex machina, in which Cindy uses a collection of random objects in the room to somehow produce a Caterpillar tractor, which she drives through the wall.

Hanson himself gets possessed by Kane. Cindy, Brenda, and Theo team up to fight him in a parody of Charlie’s Angels, but wind up defeated. Eventually, Dwight and the teens regroup, and agree to use Cindy as bait to lure Kane into a device that will destroy him. The plan succeeds, freeing the group from the house’s curse.

Two months later, Cindy and Buddy are in a relationship and go out for a walk. However, Buddy disappears without notice when Cindy discovers Hanson at the hot dog stand. As Cindy backs away in fear, Hanson pursues her — and gets struck by a car driven by Shorty, distracted by a blowjob from the female ghost.

REVIEW:

You know, I seem to recall on the first film’s poster, the words “No Sequel”. Since then there have been 3 of those with Scary Movie 5 coming soon. Can we say false advertising?

I find it rather funny that this is the “worst” entry in the franchise and least successful, and yet, I happen to think it is the best of the franchise. I guess I just have weird tastes sometimes, different from what everyone else has, or maybe this just wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Who knows?

Scary Movie 2 is a sequel, yet with this parody structure, it doesn’t necessarily pick up where Scary Movie left off…or does it? I’ve read some reviews that seem to think it doesn’t. The story actually does pick up where it left off, the only thing that is missing is how Doofy got away. That is a topic for another time, though.

Like the previous film, there is one film that is the major parody, while others are spoofed here and there. This time around, it seems to be Tha Haunting, but I can see how some would make the case for The Exorcist and/or Thir13en Ghosts. This actually sets up more jokes that what we got in the previous film.

If you like the humor of the previous film, then you’re sure to love this one, as the jokes are along the same line. No, they aren’t the same, well, except for the very end, but I think that is more of a nod to the first film rather than a rehashing of old material. On the flip side, if you didn’t like said humor, then chances are, you will either be offended or not be a fan.

For the most part, this is a straightforward film. The jokes and humorous situations are what drive it forward. The moments when they are setting up for more hilarious situations give you belly a chance to rest from all the laughing exercises, true enough, but they also take the audience out of the picture. Luckily, these moments don’t last long and everyone can get back to having a good time.

Many of the major players return from the first film.Marlon Wayans has a much bigger role this time around , but it is the newcomers who really shine.  First there is Chris Elliot who is gross, creepy, and funny as Hanson the caretaker. That hand…ugh! I just don’t know what to say about it. I may be alone in saying this, but he reminded me of Freakshow from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.

David Cross, Tori Spelling, and Richard Moll all have strong showings, but nothing we haven’t seen from them before in almost every role they’ve done. Granted Spelling is pretty good in that freak scene with the ghost.

Kathleen Robertson, though, really caught my eye, and not just because of her perfect figure. Where Shannen Elizabeth played a similar character in the first film, she seemed a bit too airheaded. Robertson seems to actually have brains to go with beauty and that body. Chances are you may recognize her as the witch Azkadellia from Tin Man.

There is a slight blemish on this film. The special effects look quite cheap. Now, this may actually be done on purpose, but that skeleton looked faker than the kind you would see in the old Nintendo video games!

Final verdict on Scary Movie 2? It is a good time that is had by all, but for some reason, it doesn’t get the respect it deserves for being, in my opinion, the best entry in the franchise. This is also the last film to feature the Wayans brothers, including Keenan behind the camera. Yet, for some reason, with every parody movie that has come out, the producers or writers or whatever, keep using this and the last one as credit. I guess that is because they haven’t written anything good without the Wayans genius. Do I recommend this? Why yes…yes I do. What harm can it be to watch a parody? As I said in the last film, it isn’t Airplane!, but it’s still pretty good and worth your time.

4 3/4 out of 5 stars

Scary Movie

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

An 18-year-old girl named Drew Decker (Carmen Electra) receives a threatening phone call while home alone one night. In an opening which closely mirrors Scream, Drew is chased outside by Ghostface, who then rips off her sweater and skirt, leaving her clothed in her white bra and thong. Drew runs through her garden sprinklers but she is then stabbed in the breast by Ghostface, removing one of her silicone breast implants, hit by a car driven by her father (who was getting oral sex by his wife so he didn’t notice Drew), and then killed by Ghostface.

The next day, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), meets up with her boyfriend Bobby Prinze (Jon Abrahams) and her friends, Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), Greg Phillipe (Lochlyn Munro), and Buffy Gilmore (Shannon Elizabeth). Various news teams – including hack reporter Gail Hailstorm (Cheri Oteri) – converge on the school in the wake of Drew’s brutal death. Gail hooks up with Buffy’s mentally disabled brother Doofy (Dave Sheridan), hoping to milk the facts out of him. One day, while Cindy is in class, someone mysteriously leaves a note saying I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN. Cindy then realizes that Drew’s murder occurred exactly one year after she and her friends accidentally killed a man during a wild car ride (but the man is shown only to be unconscious and tries to tell them before being knocked out again). Unwilling to face incarceration, the next day a series of increasingly bizarre events take place. Various members of the group receive threatening notes from Ghostface and are rapidly dispatched, but most remain steadfastly oblivious to the rising body count. The killer then attacks Cindy in her house. She tries to call the police but the killer escapes. Bobby arrives at her house but Ghostface (before he left) drops the knife and gloves which leads Cindy to thinking that Bobby is the killer the police arrest him (though he is let out the next day). Greg is killed by Ghostface in plain view. Buffy tries to get help, but Buffy is at a beauty pageant and her talent was acting so they thought the cries were part of her act. Buffy, high on the success brought by the murder, becomes Ghostface’s next victim. During the murder, Buffy thinks it’s a game, so she does every cliche done by a white female in a horror film. Ghostface decapitates her (even though her head keeps talking afterwards). Later, Ghostface sticks his penis through Ray’s head, seemingly killing him. Ghostface then attempts to dispose of Brenda during a showing of Shakespeare in Love, but the moviegoers, fed up with Brenda’s constant loud interruptions during the movie, kill her before Ghostface can.

Cindy throws a house party, hoping for safety in numbers. During the party, Bobby and Cindy go up stairs and have sex, no longer making Cindy a virgin. Ghostface unexpectedly appears and stabs Bobby, before disappearing quickly. Cindy gets a gun from a drawer near the entrance, Bobby follows and she tends to his wounds. Shorty (Marlon Wayans), Brenda’s stoner brother, comes up from the basement and informs them that the killer has murdered everybody in the house. Bobby takes the gun and shoots Shorty, revealing that his wound was an elaborate ruse. Ray then arrives on the scene – whereupon Bobby reveals to Cindy that he is now a homosexual, and so is Ray, but Ray immediately denies it confirming that he is straight. They announce their plan to kill her father and frame her sister. Bobby says he did it because Cindy never had sex with him and Bobby gleefully points out that even though their plan lacks sense it doesn’t matter, since horror movies are not noted for their logic, they also say that are just copying the killer and are not the actual killers (“We’re copying a killer that already exists.”). Ray and Bobby also came up with a plan to make themselves look like heroes by giving each other stab wounds to indicate they fought her. But, Ray stabs Bobby repeatedly and nearly kills him revealing Ray’s motive was because his favorite show The Wayans Bros. had been cancelled.

However, the real Ghostface abruptly turns up and stabs Ray, who collapses on top of Bobby in the Doggy style position. The killer then attacks Cindy, but she successfully subdues him by employing moves copied from The Matrix and kicks him through a window. Nonetheless, Ghostface vanishes before the police arrive.

At the police station, Cindy and the local sheriff (Kurt Fuller) realise that (through a montage similar to that of The Usual Suspects) Doofy - the only one who knew about the car accident – was actually faking his disability and is the true killer . Unfortunately, Doofy has already escaped with Gail Hailstorm. Upon finding his discarded disguise in the street, Cindy begins screaming “No” to the heavens – and gets run over by a car, presumably killing her (though she returns in the sequel alive and well).

As the credits roll, Shorty – parodying the rules of survival in Scream – explains via videocassette that he may be in prison or deceased, but provides rules for surviving such a situation… which turn out to be instructions for surviving a snatch-and-run.

REVIEW:

There was a time when the Wayans brothers were bona fide bos office comedic gold. It seems as if that time has come and gone, but the memories of Scary Movie should be revisited.

The best way I can figure to describe this film is that it is a spoof of all the horror movies of the time, such as Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, etc. For the most part it does a good job of it, but the plot seems to be too much of a rip off, rather than something original with inflections of those films. That could just be the direction I expected this to go, though.

Now, it should be said that if you can’t take over the top comedy, then this isn’t for you. No, it isn’t as toungue-in cheek as the greatest spoof film of all time, Airplane, but many of the jokes and comedic situations are out there. Take for instance the opening scene where a young girl, played by Carmen Electra is being chased. All of a sudden she happens to get stripped down to her bra and panties and a sprinkler comes on. In Baywatch fashion, she stops and poses, before continuing her attempt to escape. When she is caught and stabbed, the killer apparently rips out one of her implants, then she gets hit by her parents who are coming home. They don’t see her because they are engaged in fellatio. Scenes like this are commonplace in the flick.

For me, they work, but I can imagine some people would be highly offended and put off by this kind of humor, especially the sexually charged jokes. Fret not, though, this is not some sex farce.

What this film may be best known for is that it introduced the world to Anna Faris. Granted, she is much hotter and a much better actress now, it is still great to see her first major role.

Scary Movie is a really good film, but I thought it would have been better. I think it just relies too much on bad jokes for schock’s sake, rather some good old-fashioned comedy, which is really what most people want, contrary to popular belief. So, should you see this? Why of course! Why wouldn’t you? Lord knows we could all use a laugh, right?

4 out of 5 stars

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

A group of college students, including Allison (Katrina Bowden), Chad (Jesse Moss), Chloe (Chelan Simmons), Chuck (Travis Nelson), Jason (Brandon Jay McLaren), Naomi (Christie Liang), Todd (Alex Arsenault), Mitch (Adam Beauchesne) and Mike (Joseph Allan Sutherland), are going camping in West Virginia. While at a gas station, they meet Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) two well-meaning hillbillies who have just bought the vacation home of their dreams: a run-down lakefront cabin in the middle of the woods. Dale tries to talk to Allison but because of his inferiority complex and appearance, he only scares her and her friends.

Tucker and Dale soon continue to their run-down, derelict cabin and are delighted in their new home despite structural hazards resulting from the building’s state of disrepair. Meanwhile, in the nearby woods, the college students have set up camp. Chad tries to put the moves on Allison, but she spurns his advances, angering him. Later, around the campfire, Chad tells everyone a story recounting an event known as the “The Memorial Day Massacre,” which took place twenty years previously in the same section of the woods, leaving only one survivor. Soon after, the group decide to go skinny dipping in a nearby lake. Also on the lake are Tucker and Dale who are fishing. Allison spots them, and startled, falls into the water and hits her head. Tucker and Dale save her, but the college kids think Allison is being kidnapped.

The next day, Allison wakes up in Tucker and Dale’s cabin. At first scared, she befriends Dale and finds the pair are harmless. The college kids arrive at the cabin to save Allison from her “captors”, whom they presume to be psycho killers. Chuck leaves in his dad’s car to retrieve help from the police. As Mitch approaches the cabin, Tucker appears frantically waving a chainsaw after accidentally hitting a wasp’s nest. The college kids scatter through the woods, resulting in Mitch accidentally impaling himself on a broken tree. Soon after, the college kids find his body, and Chad persuades the others that they are in a battle to survive with the hillbillies. Meanwhile, Tucker and Dale set out to find the kids, but fail to do so. The college kids return to the cabin to see Allison being forced to dig her own grave, when in truth she is helping Dale dig an outhouse pit. The college kids attack; however, in their attempt to save her, Allison is knocked unconscious, Todd is impaled, and Mike jumps head first into a woodchipper.

Tucker and Dale lock themselves in their cabin with an unconscious Allison, as they believe the college kids have made a suicide pact. Meanwhile, the college kids decide they should either leave or get help from the police, but Chad remains certain they must fight the hillbillies themselves. Despite this, Chloe manages to flag down a passing police car, driven by the Sheriff (Philip Granger) with Chuck. Chloe, Jason, and Naomi get in and travel to the cabin. After arriving, the Sheriff inspects the place before leaning against an unsteady beam which falls and kills him. The college students panic, resulting in Chuck shooting himself in the face. Chad appears and attempts to shoot Tucker and Dale, but only manages to capture Tucker.

Dale leaves to rescue Tucker and finds him in a trap in the forest. At the cabin, Chad and Naomi arrive to save Allison, who insists everything is a misunderstanding and Tucker and Dale don’t mean any harm. However, they accuse Allison of having Stockholm syndrome. Tucker and Dale arrive back, and Allison attempts to calmly discuss the situation, leading to Chad revealing his mother was the survivor of the Memorial Day Massacre, while his dad was killed by the hillbillies, which is why he hates them. Outside, Jason and Chloe suspect that the rest of their friends have been captured and attack with a string trimmer, resulting in Naomi having her face shredded off. As a fight breaks out, Jason is set on fire. As the fire spreads, Allison, Tucker, and Dale escape, but Chloe is trapped by it and a barely alive Naomi grabs Chads leg as a stockpile of fuel cans explode, Naomi and Chloe are killed but Chad reveals himself to still be alive, but persistent to murder Tucker and Dale. Allison, Tucker, and Dale attempt to escape in a truck, but they crash it moments later.

Awakening some time later, Dale finds an injured Tucker who reveals Chad has taken Allison to an old sawmill. Dale travels to the sawmill and finds Allison restrained by an insane Chad. Dale fights with Chad, before Allison and Dale barricade themselves inside a room and find old news clippings on the Memorial Day Massacre and the truth about Chad’s father; Chad’s father was not one of the victims, but the Memorial Day killer himself, who raped his mother, making Chad half hillbilly. Chad becomes enraged over the truth, forcing Dale to attack Chad with a box of chamomile tea, which gives him an allergic reaction, and he falls out of a window.

Afterward, the police and a news crew arrive at the sawmill and are unable to conclude the cause of the chaos. Was it a suicide pact or the work of a deranged killer whose body wasn’t found? While convalescing in the hospital, Tucker asks Dale whether he managed to ask Allison on a date and is happy to hear the two of them are going ten-pin bowling. Later that night at the bowling alley, the two confess their feelings for each other and kiss. Meanwhile, Chad has survived his injuries and attacks a news crew investigating the murders.

REVIEW:

I am not particularly a fan of horror films, but whenever someone takes the opportunity to spoof the genre, I jump at the chance to watch those films. This is how I came across Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.

This film points out one thing that we, as a society, are all guilty of, which is pre judging people before we get to know them. In the case of the college kids in this film (coupled with some prodding by their “leader”), this leads to their gruesome deaths.

Alright, let’s figure out the plot, shall we? Well, we have these rednecks who have just bought a cabin out in the woods. They stop at a gas station and run across some college kids. One of the rednecks thinks one of them is attractive and approaches her to perhaps ask her out. The problem is he is holding a scythe and already looks like he’s killed a few people in his time, so she gets freaked out and disgusted.

The rednecks then go fishing, but it happens that they are fishing in the same place the college kids were swimming. Not really sure why they were swimming there, though, it looked rather mucky. Anyway, the cute girl from the gas station sees them, freaks out and falls in the water, but doesn’t come back up. The rednecks go get her out of the water, but of course, the college kids see this and think they’ve killed her and are taking her to their place to do unmentionable things to her body.  From here on out, we are privy to rather gory murders that typically happen in a horror flick, but are done here accidentally, but also in a hilarious way.

For some reason, just as we seem to be nearing a climax to the film, there is some secondary plot that takes over the last 15-20 minutes of the picture, that quite honestly could have been left out, but I guess there needed to be an actual villain.

Speaking of which, the film is called Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, but there really isn’t any evil, save for the prejudices of these college kids. I was sort of hoping for some kind of serial killer or disgruntled wrestler who was going on a killing spree…something like that to turn out to be evil. I guess I’m alone on that front, though.

Tyler Labine has great comedic talents. Many people are calling hin the poor man’s Jack Black, but I actually think he may be the better comedian/actor, though he’s no Kung Fu Panda.

Alan Tudyk is one of those people from the Firefly series who has really been searching for his niche. It seemed like he had it in V, but they killed him in the first couple of episodes. I think he’s voicing some character on MTV’s Good Vibes, and then we saw him in this summer’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon, so the guy is doing pretty good for himself, even if he isn’t Nathan Fillion or Gina Torres. Unfortunately, though, he doesn’t have as big of a role here as he should. He appears to be the smarter of the two, but they have him playing the meek sidekick role, even going so far as to have him be caught and tortured by the college kids.

Anytime college kids and alcohol are involved, you can be assured of two things, hot girls and some douche boyfriend/frat boy. Yes, the girls are quite attractive, but the bigger part of this equation is the douchebag. If it wasn’t obvious by the fact he keeps instigating hatred towards Tucker and Dale, he has this frat boy hair cut and is wearing a tight polo shirt with the collar flipped up. If that doesn’t scream douche, then I don’t know what does. Oh, wait, perhaps the fact that he is obviously some kind of twisted individual with a back story that is discovered near the end of the film.

For those of you out there who are like me and just are not a fan of horror films, this may be the kind of flick that is up your alley. It takes the genre and flips it on its side. Now, if you’re looking for some kind of redneck slasher flick, then perhaps Hatchet would be more up your alley. However, if you’re in the mood for an over the top spook, full of blood, gore, and laughs, then you really need to check out Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. It is really worth the time to view it, even if it doesn’t look like. As this film shows us, looks can be deceiving.

4 out of 5 stars

Mars Needs Moms

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Milo (Seth Green, voice-over by Seth Dusky) is a nine-year-old boy who constantly rebels against his homemaking mother (Joan Cusack) and workaholic father (Tom Everett Scott), who himself is leaving for a business trip. Summer is just beginning, and while Milo wants his summer to be fun, his mother assigns him chores. When Milo’s mother catches him breaking her “no broccoli, no TV” rule, she grounds him and sends him to bed early. After a heated disagreement with his mother, Milo wishes that he never had a mom. Later that night, his wish comes true when his mother is kidnapped by Martians who plan to steal her “momness” to rear their own young. The Martians, led by their villainous supervisor (Mindy Sterling) have been observing Earth mothers, passing up those who are too indulgent or unable to control their children. They select Milo’s mother based on her ability to command Milo to take out the trash.

To rescue his mom, Milo stows away on a spaceship. Upon arrival on Mars, Milo is locked up in a jail cell, but manages to escape down a garbage chute where he meets a tech-savvy subterranean-dwelling earthling named Gribble (Dan Fogler). Gribble helps him devise a plan to save Milo’s mom and get her back to Earth before Earth’s night is up. Unfortunately, the plan goes awry at a Martian checkpoint, when Milo is exposed and the troops raid Gribble’s hideout, but Milo is able to escape. While hiding from the guards, Milo meets a rebellious Martian girl named Ki (Elisabeth Harnois). Milo makes it back to Gribble’s hideout, and discovers Gribble has been captured by the Supervisor and the Martians. After rescuing him, Gribble confesses to Milo on how he wound up on Mars: twenty five years ago, the Martians selected Gribble’s mother as a fine example to program their nannybots. Like Milo, Gribble stowed away, but failed to rescue his mother in time and was stranded on Mars.

After Ki manages to locate Milo and Gribble in an untouched part of the Martian underground world, they come across an ancient cave painting that showed Martian families were like Earth families in the past. After evading the guards and capturing a spaceship, Milo manages to wake up his mother, and save her before the download destroys her, but while escaping out onto the Martian surface, the Supervisor appears, and is about to kill both Milo and his mother when Gribble attacks her, causing her to fire a shot that causes Milo to trip and break his space helmet.

As Milo begins to choke in the unbreathable Martian atmosphere, Milo’s mother gives him her space helmet. Although Milo’s life is saved, the life of his mother has now been put at stake. Before the eyes of the Martians, Gribble (not wanting to see another Earth boy lose his mother) manages to find the space helmet he’d attempted to save his mom with and gives it to Milo’s mother, showing the Martians the one thing they’d overlooked about Earth moms: love for their children, in which Milo apologizes to his mother about the disagreement. The Supervisor attacks the Earthlings again and as she is about to recapture them, Ki reveals the photo of the ancient cave painting and the Supervisor’s deception to the soldiers, causing them to turn against the Supervisor.

With the Supervisor in prison, Ki and Gribble return Milo and his mother to Earth, just before Milo’s dad returns home. Having nowhere else to go and having exposed feelings for Ki, Gribble decides to stay on Mars and returns there. Milo then takes out the trash before his mother asks him to, but secretly disintegrates it with a Martian weapon, similar to a human pistol in size and shape. Under the new leadership of Gribble and Ki, the male and female Martians work together in raising their young, while the Supervisor is stuck with nanny duty. Gribble manages to contact Milo and let him know how he is by using the Spirit rover as a communication station.

REVIEW:

In my review of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, I raved about how awesome the motion capture was when used on those apes. Well, you the saying “too much of a good thing”? That can really be applied to Mars Needs Moms.

Please don’t misunderstand me, the animation is great and all, but there comes a point when this stuff is just freaky looking and that is what you get when you look at this flick. Some people could very well have been creeped out by the look of this. Me, I long for the days of hand-drawn animation and not this CGI or motion capture stuff.

Now, this family film is supposed to be a tale of how martian abduct mothers, which it is. However, there are two things that keep this film from being pretty good. The first is the dark tone that the film seems to take in regards for what happens to the mothers. These women are sapped of their memories and then somehow destroyed by the sun.

The other major downfall of the film is the annoying casting of its main characters. First, there is the unlikable kid, who was originally played by Seth Green, but some “genius” though his voice was too mature sounding, so they replaced him with this kid, whose name is best not mentioned. Now, I’m not sure if it is him or the way he was written, but with every line I felt like shoving toothpicks through my eyeballs and eardrums just to never see or hear him. He singlehandedly brough the film down, but wasn’t the only negative aspect of it.

Dan Fogler and Joan Cusack are the kind of actors best known as supporting characters. The reason for this is that they are best taken in small doses. In this film, while Cusack is there just long enough, Fogler, who is probably at his least annoying here, is still a bit much.

Everything about this film isn’t negative, though. The hippie martians were quite enjoyable, as was the scene with the revolution. However, that was all that was good about this flick.

Final verdict on Mars Needs Moms? There is a reason this film was one of the biggest flops of 2011. Not only was this badly executed, but it was an annoying picture, and if I’m not mistaken, they had the audacity to release this schlock in 3D. I saw nothing 3D worthy, but there was plenty that was pukeworthy. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment, I would stay away from this thing…VERY far away!!!

1 out of 5 stars