Coneheads

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Upon discovering an Unidentified Flying Object over American airspace, the National Guard sends out planes to warn it off and end up firing upon it when they don’t comply. Activating their cloaking device and crashing into the ocean the occupants, Beldar Clorhone and his life mate Prymaat try to adapt to the humans’ way of life despite standing out with their conical shaped skulls. Beldar gets work as an appliance repairman, and when his grateful boss Otto discovers that Beldar is an illegal alien, he arranges to have an identity created for him, which sends up red flags for the (INS). Meanwhile, after communicating with their world and discovering that a rescue vessel will not be there for several years (seven “Zurls”), Prymaat informs Beldar that she is pregnant and they need to adapt as humans to raise her safely. An ambitious INS agent named Gorman Seedling and his assistant Eli attempt to capture Beldar and Prymaat, but they elude him.

Months later, Beldar has become a respected taxi driver, and the couple live in his boss’s basement. After the birth of their child, Connie, they move to a suburban neighborhood in Paramus, New Jersey, adopting the surname Conehead as Beldar makes a career as a driving instructor. Meanwhile, Seedling gets an offer for a promotion and decides to leave the Coneheads to the next agent to take his place, however his promotion is hindered by this case and he is forced to continue it due to the expense of tracking them.

Now a teenager, all Connie wants to do is fit in with her peers, much to the objection of her father, especially when she becomes involved with a mechanic named Ronnie. Beldar is preoccupied with winning a golfing trophy at a country club where he is a member and Prymaat becomes concerned about her appearance. Eli and Seedling pose as Jehovah’s Witnesses to gain entry to the Conehead home, but they are ejected quickly when Beldar receives word from Remulak that a rescue vessel is on its way.

At a costume party that night, Connie is told they are to be rescued and she disobeys her parents by returning home with Ronnie to consummate their relationship as a goodbye, before they are caught and the INS shows up to arrest them. As Seedling is about to capture the Coneheads their vessel arrives, and he along with Eli are taken with them into space and sent back to Remulak together. While there, their leader, Highmaster Mintot accuses Beldar of treason and sentences him to fight a ferocious beast called the Garthok. Beldar manages to use his golfing skills to save himself and kill it, and is granted a request. Beldar requests to return to Earth to oversee its conquest, which Mintot agrees. Eli is left behind and becomes Mintot’s flunky. Beldar leaves with Prymaat, Connie and Seedling in tow but realizes that Connie’s feelings are more important than planetary conquest and quickly fakes a counterattack, forcing the rest of the ships to turn back as Beldar self-destructs the ship, making it look like they were destroyed. In appreciation for sparing his life, Seedling agrees to give the Coneheads a Green Card in exchange that he prove he has a talent no other American citizen possesses, which Beldar happily agrees to.

Some time later, Ronnie arrives to take Connie to the prom and after a few words of advice (55 words to be precise), Beldar uses a massive flash bulb from his home-built Polaroid camera to document the event. As Connie and a now-sunburnt Ronnie depart for their night, Beldar and Prymaat look at the picture they took and say “Memories, we will enjoy them.” before the screen fades to black.

REVIEW:

Either in the late 70s or early 80s, there was a sketch on Saturday Night Live that took the world by storm. Well, who are we kidding, just about everything they did back then was amazing, especially compared to what they try to pass off as comedy on there today. With the immense popularity of that sketch, as well as the success of Wayne’s World, it was decided to Coneheads needed to be brought to the big screen. The big question though is, how will audiences react to these strange beings from another world?

What is this about?

With enormous cone-shaped heads, robotlike walks and an appetite for toilet paper, aliens Beldar and Prymatt don’t exactly blend in with the population of Paramus, N.J. But for some reason, everyone believes them when they say they’re from France.

What did I like?

Just another family. With giant cones for heads, it would be so easy for the filmmakers to make a joke out of how everyone notices that they aren’t “normal”. However, the joke really is how that no one seems to notice, even the teenage girls (who you know notice everything that they don’t like…HA!) didn’t seem phased. Whenever alien races move to Earth, it seems to be that they are ostracized, rather than embraced. Even the aliens in Alien Nation, who look human save for some spots on their heads, had some problems. I’m glad the Coneheads skipped over this issue. It would have killed the momentum of the film with everytime someone would have noticed.

Gags. Being an alien species from another world stranded here brings about all sorts of difference in culture and what things are. One running gag that always has me cracking up is how to the Coneheads, a condom is gum. I wonder what gum on their planet of Remulak is to humans. Gags like that are the driving force behind the comedy of this picture. Truthfully, there aren’t many funny lines spoken. A few physical gags, but those are alien-related. The bread and butter are the small gags that will crack you up with how ludicrous they are.

Meet the young one. When the Coneheads originally appeared on SNL, it was during the late 70s/early 80s. This film was released in 1993. On the show, the daughter was played by Larraine Newman. While she was able to get away with playing a teenager on the show, that would not do for the big screen, so she was replaced with Michelle Burke. As a way to keep her as a Conehead, she does make a cameo appearance, ironically talking to her Burke, in the arena. It was a nice touch and showed respect to all the time she put in cultivating that character.

What didn’t I like?

Rancor…um…Garthok. The Coneheads return to their home world of Remulak and once it is found out the Beldar (Dan Aykroyd) had his teeth fixed to fit in down here on Earth, the high exalted one (or whatever his title is) accused him of treason and threw him into the pit. In this pit is a monster of great size and strength known as the Garthok. Looking at it, and assessing the situation, one can only think of the Rancor from Return of the Jedi. Why, oh why, must every film rip off the holy trilogy?!?

Too normal? Earlier I mentioned how no one really brought up the appearance of the Coneheads. However, there was this one random guy why said something and it got me to thinking. With the normal way these people have lived their lives down here on Earth, surely someone has had to have said something to them or reported something. I guess that was the reason the INS plot was shoved in here, because that didn’t really work on any level, except to make them look totally inept and incompetent.

Me want Jane. I’m not sure what the reason for this was, but Jane Curtain’s Prymaat had little to nothing to do in this film. It was almost as if Curtain had other projects going on at the same time and could only be around for a day or two, so they filmed all of her scenes real quick. Nothing against Dan Aykroyd. I love the guy, especially in comedic roles that suit him, but one of the reasons the Coneheads sketch worked so well was the family aspect. As this film portrays them, it is Beldar and his daughter. Occasionally they’ll wheel out Curtain. That just isn’t right. Can we get more Jane, please?!?

Most films from the 90s haven’t withstood the test of time very well, just go look at Twins! Coneheads has avoided that curse and, with current events being what they are, actually still is relevant. Who would have thought that a film that wasn’t thought to be a big hit would be worthy of such high praise. I think the best part of this film is not the sci-fi elements, nor the comedy, but rather the everyday lives of these people who have cone-shaped skulls living down here on a planet of “blunt skulls”, as they call us. The filmmaker’s decision to show us that part of their lives, rather than having them be a side-show attraction is really appealing and a different take on aliens than what we are normally accustomed to. Do I recommend this film? Yes, very highly! If for nothing else, then you can see that there was a time when Saturday Night Live actually produced worthwhile sketches that went on to bigger things.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Tommy Boy

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

After seven years at college, Thomas R. “Tommy” Callahan III (Chris Farley) barely graduates from Marquette University and returns to his hometown of Sandusky, Ohio. His father, industrialist, and widower, Thomas R. “Big Tom” Callahan, Jr. (Brian Dennehy), gives him an executive job at the family’s auto parts plant, Callahan Auto. In addition to the new job and office, Big Tom reveals that he plans to marry Beverly Barrish-Burns (Bo Derek), a woman he had met at a fat farm, and that her son, Paul (Rob Lowe), will become Tommy’s new stepbrother. At the wedding, Big Tom suddenly dies of a heart attack. After the funeral, doubting the future of the company without Big Tom, the bank reneges on promises of a loan for a new brake pad division and seeks immediate payment of Callahan Auto’s debts. Ray Zalinsky (Dan Aykroyd), owner and operator of another automotive, Zalinsky Auto Parts, offers to buy them out while the company’s shares are high, but Tommy suggests a deal: he will let the bank hold his inherited shares and house in exchange for helping the sales of brake pads going. The bank agrees, but they also want the company to prove it still has viability by selling 500,000 brake pads. If they succeed, the bank will grant the loan. Tommy volunteers to go on a cross-country sales trip with his father’s sycophantic assistant, Richard Hayden (David Spade), a childhood acquaintance who is annoyed over Tommy’s ability to be lazy and yet be rewarded.

Meanwhile, Beverly and Paul are shown kissing romantically. They are not mother and son, but rather married con artists with criminal records. Instead of eventually getting a divorce and taking half of Big Tom’s estate, Beverly has inherited half of the controlling interest in the company. To turn that into cash, she seeks a quick sale to Zalinsky. On the road, Tommy’s social anxiety and hyperactivity alienate several potential buyers. The lack of any progress leads to tension between Tommy and Richard. In addition, the duo encounter a variety of incidents that lead to the near destruction of Richard’s car. When all seems lost, Tommy persuades a surly waitress to serve him chicken wings after the friers are turned off. Seeing this, Richard realizes that Tommy has the ability to read people, just like his father, and suggests this is how he should sell all the time. The two mend their friendship and start to sell effectively to various automotive plants, eventually putting them over the half million mark. However, Paul sabotages the company’s computers, causing sales posted by sales manager Michelle Brock (Julie Warner) to be lost or misrouted. With half of the sales now canceled, the bank, backed by Beverly and Paul, decides to sell Callahan Auto to Zalinsky. Hoping that they can persuade Zalinsky to reconsider, Tommy and Richard travel to Chicago boarding a plane as flight attendants. In Chicago, they get a brief meeting with Zalinsky, but he tells them he only wants Callahan for the reputation, not the employees, and that after sale he will dissolve the company and absorb the production line into his company, leaving Callahan workers unemployed.

Tommy and Richard are denied entrance to the Zalinsky board room since Tommy has no standing. After briefly wallowing on the curb in self-pity, Michelle arrives with Paul and Beverly’s police records. Tommy devises ‘a plan’: dressed as a suicide bomber by using road flares, he attracts the attention of a live television news crew and then, along with Michelle and Richard, forces his way back into the board room. Back in Sandusky, Callahan workers watch the drama on a television. In a final move of pure persuasion, Tommy quotes Zalinsky’s own advertising slogan, that he is on the side of the “American working man.” As the TV audience watches, Zalinsky signs Tommy’s purchase order for 500,000 brake pads. Although Zalinsky says that the purchase order is meaningless as he will soon own Callahan Auto, Michelle shows her police records, which includes Paul’s outstanding warrants for fraud. Since Beverly is still married to Paul, her marriage to Big Tom was bigamous and therefore never legal. Thus, all of Big Tom’s controlling shares actually belong to Tommy, the rightful heir. Since Tommy does not want to sell the shares, the deal with Zalinsky is off and since Tommy still holds Zalinsky’s purchase order, the company is saved. Paul attempts to escape, but is arrested. Zalinsky admits that Tommy outplayed him and honors the large sales order. The film ends when Tommy starts his romance with Michelle and is made the president of Callahan Auto.

REVIEW:

Not too long ago, I was reading an article about how different the comedic landscape of cinema would be had Chris Farley not passed away, because if you go back and look, that is when Adam Sandler’s movies started coming out. This really got me thinking, and I honestly do believe there would be a difference in quality of comedies had Farley lived. I may post about that sometime in the near future, but for not, let’s talk about Tommy Boy.

What is this about?

Party animal Tommy Callahan is a few cans short of a six-pack. But when the family business starts tanking, it’s up to Tommy and number-cruncher Richard Hayden to save the day in this riotous road comedy.

What did I like?

Casting call. Two key roles had to be filled for this film, well 3 technically. The first is someone who has great chemistry with Chris Farley. Naturally, one would go back to his Saturday Night Live days to find the perfect choice, David Spade. The yin and yang between this odd couple really drives, pardon the pun, the film in the second half. Next, what big guy could you get to play Farley’s father. I can think of only two people who might work, though I am sure there are others, John Goodman and Brian Dennehy, who ultimately earned the role. Dennehy is a bigger guy, both in terms of girth and height, which made him the optimal choice for Big Tom. Finally, someone to fall for Tommy. That went to unknown actress, Julie Warner. Other than this, the only other time I’ve seen her was in season 6 of Dexter

Are you my mummy? You don’t cast Bo Derek unless you’re going to capitalize on her looks. Hell, I think they even brought up her beauty in the episodes of 7th Heaven in which she appeared. I appreciated how they introduced her coming out of the water, though, showing she still is a 10. Now, the way her character turns out to be a bit of an antagonist I didn’t care for, but much like Regina in Once Upon a Time, her beauty gives her a pass from me.

Road trip. A good road trip flick is hard to find. There plenty out there to choose from, but how many are truly memorable? In order for road trip films to stick in your head, there has to be some reason you want to watch those parties involved get from point A to point B. In this case, the fact that Tommy is trying to save his family’s legacy, the town, and the sacrifice he’s made to do so pull you in. Throw in the hijinks he and Spade get into along the way and the lack of success they have early on and you just can’t help but want to see how it will all end,

What didn’t I like?

Lit’rally worthless. Typically, when you bring in Rob Lowe, he is meant to be the slimy, yet suave, villain. At least that was his role in the 90s. Take Wayne’s World, for example. Strangely enough, today he is playing one of the good guys on Parks and Recreation. Back to my point, though, Lowe is his usual slimy self. At one point, he and Tommy get drunk. Tommy is covered in mud and cow feces, so Lowe hoses him down with gasoline. Now, seems to me this would have been the perfect place to light a match and have Farley do comedic stuff, but nothing comes of it, which is really a shame, as it would have set him up to be a diabolical villain. Instead he does nothing, and that pretty much is what he does for the majority of the film, except for a bumbling attempt at something, I forgot what, but he gets attacked by a guard dog. The only thing he manages to do right is computer fraud, but that scene was so awkward, I had to turn away. Come on Rob Lowe, you can do better than this disjointed performance, script problem or not.

Deer in headlights. On the road, Farley and Spade hit a deer. As can be expected, they put it in their backseat until they can properly dispose of it (they were en route to an appointment). For some reason, the deer comes back to life and not only attacks the two while they are driving, but it totals the car and runs away. I’m guessing this is some kind of comedic effect, but I didn’t laugh. It just didn’t quite seem to fit in with the rest of the film. Now, had that been some bum they hit who came back to life and went berserk, then perhaps that would have made more sense to me.

Calm down. Man, Chris Farley rode that loveable, overactive, fat guy shtick to the grave, didn’t he? As can be seen in this film, it wears thin with some people over time, especially those that Tommy is trying to get to buy brake pads. Once he does calm down, everything is fine, though. Am I saying I didn’t like the way Farley played this character? No, not at all. What I am saying is I would have liked for him to have been a little different that what we have seen from him before.

Tommy Boy is a delightful film that has heart and will make you appreciate the hard work that goes into getting auto parts on the shelves. No need to drag this on any longer, so I’ll get right to it. Should you see this? I think so. Not only is it funny, but the humor is varied and not just fart jokes. The appearance of Dan Aykroyd later on the film is just icing on the cake. Check it out sometime!

4 out of 5 stars

Airheads

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

Chazz (Brendan Fraser), Rex (Steve Buscemi) and Pip (Adam Sandler) are a Los Angeles would-be rock band calling themselves The Lone Rangers. The guys are continuously turned down as they try to get their demo tape heard by producers. They finally decide to try to get the local rock station, KPPX-FM Rebel Radio 103.6, to play it on the air, after they saw how Rebel Radio helped another band (The Sons of Thunder) get a record deal. Their first break-in attempt is using Pip’s ATM card and its PIN. Then, Rex tries to “short circuit” the electronic lock with Pip’s Big Gulp. They finally get in when a station employee comes out (and goes back in) and they keep the door from shutting.

Once inside, disc jockey Ian the Shark (Joe Mantegna) puts them on the air without them knowing. The station’s sleazy manager Milo (Michael McKean) overhears them and intervenes. After Milo calls Rex “Hollywood Boulevard trash”, Chazz and Rex shove water pistols (that look like Uzis) loaded with hot pepper sauce in Milo’s face and demand airplay. After setting up a reel-to-reel for the demo, the tape starts and is destroyed when the reel runs out and catches fire in an ashtray. The guys try to run, but Doug Beech (Michael Richards), the station’s accountant, calls the police and the building is surrounded.

They soon realize that they are armed hostage takers, and begin negotiations with the police. During the crisis, it is learned that Milo had signed a deal to change radio formats, which includes having to downsize Ian and most of the other employees. Ian and the rest of the employees take the side of Chazz and turn against Milo. Eventually, the record executive who rejects Chazz in the beginning of the film comes to the radio station. The band signs a record contract and goes out on stage to play, only to realize that they are supposed to lip sync the song and fake playing the instruments. They refuse to lip sync while the music is playing and get a round of cheers from the audience, who rush the stage.

Afterwards, Ian becomes the band’s manager and we learn that the three were sent to prison, but served only a short time and had their album “Live in Prison” (which was recorded while the trio was imprisoned) go triple platinum.

REVIEW:

 Ah…the 90’s…a time when grunge rock was the norm. Don’t you miss those days? Well, if you get the chance to watch Airheads, you may be transported back there.

This comedy centers around 3 losers (who i wold imagine are stoners, though it isn’t mentioned) that have a garage band and are trying to get their music played so that they can get signed to a record deal. In an effort to get this done, they take realistic looking toy guns, water pistol to be exact, into a radio station and inadvertently cause a hostage situation at a radio station.

Looking at this from today’s point of view…these gys would probably be considered terrorists or something, when all they were trying to do is trying to break into the business. Is that so wrong? Sure, they went about it the wrong way, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, right? **Note: I’m not advocating anyone go hold up a radio station!!!!**

This is truly a goofy comedy. If you’re going into this thing expecting something more, than you are just wasting your time. The best way I can describe the tone of this film is to think Mallrats, but with less talking and more comedy.

I loved the way that this film doesn’t take itself too seriously. Often time, movies feel the need to make a point, usually comedies, and end up losing the funny. This film was a laugh riot from start to finish.

The grouping of Brendan Fraser, who looks like he just came straight over from Encino Man and got a new wardrobe, Adam Sandler, in one of his funniest roles, and Steve Buscemi together was a stroke of genius. These guys were great together!

Who thinks of Joe Mantegna when it comes to comedy? With the exception of voicing Fat Tony on The Simpsons, this guy is known as a serious actor, so it was a surprise to see him in this, and yet, he was really impressive and believable.

Michael Keaton serves no purpose in this picture. At one point Buscemi calls him a cockroach, and that is really what he is. He’s just there to annoy.

Ernie Hudson proves he can actually do something other than be a second-rate Ghostbuster here.

Chris Farley is in the film as well, but he’s not really a major character.

Also, listen out for Beavis & Butthead. They call in to the radio station near the midway point.

For those of you out there who just want to find a movie that will let you relax and laugh, rather than have to think about every little thing that happens, then Airheads is perfect for you. I highly recommend it. After all, in this day and time, couldn’t well use a laugh every now and then?

4 out of 5 stars