An unjustly accused prisoner in 2019 is given a slim chance at freedom if he enters a battle-to-the-death on a television game show. Dawson steals the show as the slimy host!
What people are saying:
“Great Schwarzenegger effort where he is a prisoner hunted down on a violent game show. You would think that by 2017, the home version of the show would have advanced to video instead of a board game. Richard Dawson is good as the jerk host.” 4 1/2 stars
“I loved the idea behind this movie, but there have been many other better movies with the same idea, and the movie itself is predictable and much like Schwarzenegger’s other films. Richard Dawson was perfect as the game show host, though, I really liked him. Overall, it’s okay, but I wouldn’t recommend it. A similar, but better movie: Deathrow Gameshow.” 3 stars
“Finally watched this from start to finish and it is pretty damn bad. I am sure back when it came out it was a bit better for a sci-fi film but it now is generic and along with the horrible acting it is enjoyable for the hilarity of corny one liners and cheesiness.” 1 1/2 stars
“Some of the main problems that The Running Man runs into is the extremely fast pacing and the extreme lack of character development, plot development, and exposition. Seriously, this could have been a really good movie if the crew focused on these things rather then the full-fledged action you find for the entire duration of the film. It felt as if this movie was made for thirteen-year olds with very short attention spans. A couple of redeeming qualities are Arnie’s acting and his classic one-liners and a really cool head-exploding scene. That’s pretty much it.” 2 stars
“With a dance routine choreographed by Paula Abdul, ironically The Running Man forecast America’s obsession with over-produced competitive ‘reality’ shows and predates The Hunger Games by 25 years. I’m not so sure about Arnie’s Bond style quips but the casting of Richard Dawson as the show’s host is inspired.” 4 stars
John “Breacher” Wharton (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is the leader of an elite team of DEA agents from the Special Ops Division, which includes James “Monster” Murray (Sam Worthington) and his wife Lizzy Murray (Mireille Enos), Joe “Grinder” Philips (Joe Manganiello), Julius “Sugar” Edmonds (Terrence Howard), Eddie “Neck” Jordan (Josh Holloway), Tom “Pyro” Roberts (Max Martini), Bryce “Tripod” McNeely (Kevin Vance), and “Smoke” Jennings (Mark Schlegel).
During a raid on a cartel warehouse, in which Smoke is killed, the team steals $10 million of the cartel’s money, hides it in the sewer pipes for future retrieval and distribution, and blows up the rest of the cartel’s cash to cover their tracks. However, the heist is discovered, the money disappears, and their superior Floyd Demel (Martin Donovan) suspends them while the DEA investigates the team for the theft. After several months without any confessions or evidence of their participation, the team is reinstated.
Breacher later finds out that Lizzy has become addicted to drugs and that her marriage to Monster is failing.
Pyro is killed after an unidentified stranger tows his trailer onto a railroad crossing and is rammed by a train while he’s unconscious. Atlanta Police homicide detective Caroline Brentwood (Olivia Williams) and her partner Darius Jackson (Harold Perrineau) are assigned to the case and interrogate Pyro’s teammates.
Brentwood notes Neck is aggressively avoiding interrogation, and Breacher accompanies her to Neck’s house hopeful he will cooperate. When they arrive, they find him nailed to the ceiling and disemboweled. Brentwood recognizes the execution as the modus operandi of the cartels, leading Breacher to assume the cartel is hunting the team over the stolen money.
Breacher and Brentwood visit Tripod, who left the DEA after being suspended, and find him dead after a shootout in which he killed an assailant Breacher identified as a cartel enforcer. Monster later visits Brentwood, who is suspicious of Breacher, and tells her that Breacher’s family was kidnapped by the cartels, who videotaped their murders and later sent the tape to Breacher along with the severed body parts of his wife and son. Breacher spent months searching for his family’s killers before the team convinced him to move on. Brentwood apologizes to Breacher, and they wind up having sex.
Jackson traces the dead enforcer’s cellphone to a cartel safe-house, which is raided by Breacher and his team. However, the enforcers are not there. They are later found dead at the bottom of a river near Tripod’s house, and Brentwood realizes that they were killed before Pyro and Neck, meaning someone is framing the cartel for targeting the team.
Breacher reunites the team to tell them what happened, and Lizzy lashes out and reveals she’s been having an affair with Sugar. Grinder later confesses to Brentwood that they stole the money. Breacher and Brentwood meet with Grinder in a public setting to discuss what should happen next when Grinder is shot dead by Lizzy, who is behind the murders along with Sugar. Lizzy then meets with Monster to discuss her escape. Monster destroys her passport to prevent her escape, and Lizzy slashes him with a knife, killing him.
Breacher and Brentwood go to Lizzy’s house and find Monster’s body stuffed in a refrigerator. Lizzy calls Breacher, pretending to be alone, and arranges a meeting at a parking garage. Breacher goes there with Brentwood hidden, and they engage in a shootout with Lizzy and Sugar, who attempt to escape. Following a car chase through the Atlanta’s streets, Sugar & Lizzy’s truck ends up crashing into a tow truck, decapitating Sugar.
Breacher and Brentwood confront a dying Lizzy, who accuses the team of stealing the money behind their backs, motivating her to seek revenge. Brentwood is puzzled, assuming Lizzy had stolen the money. Breacher tells the dying Lizzy that he took the money. Lizzy tries to reach for her weapon and Breacher kills her. Breacher tells Brentwood to be “a good girl and walk away.” The local cops arrive and Breacher disappears.
Weeks later, Breacher is in Mexico, where he uses the stolen money to bribe a corrupt police official into helping him identify Brujo, the man who murdered his family. Breacher finds him in a Mexican bar and kills him and others loyal to him in a violent shootout, during which he is shot in the chest. Having avenged his family, a seriously-wounded Breacher sits at a table, takes a shot of whiskey, lights up one last cigar and smiles as he hears the approaching sirens.
REVIEW:
Since returning to acting, Schwarzenegger’s film choices have been…questionable. Some have been good, some just were there so he could spout a few of his catchphrases and others were just plain bad. Sabotage looks like it will fall in the good category, but we will have to see.
What is this about?
A crack team of DEA agents plots a daring heist, making off with $10 million in drug money. They soon find themselves targets of an unknown killer.
What did I like?
Mellow with age. Schwarzenegger and Stallone were huge, over-the-top action stars in the 80s. Fast forward 30 years and you will see they both have mellowed out. I do believe, though, that this is the first time I’ve actually seen Schwarzenegger act. Is he any good? Eh…that’s debatable, but he’s competent enough, I can say that. Fact is, the guy has realized times have changed and he’s gotten older, so bringing it back down a level or two is a good thing. Having said that, I think that if he hit the gym hard, he’s be back to his old shape in no time and then…YIKES!!!
Violence. Let’s see…cops with guns and the Mexican drug cartel. What should we expect at some point? That’s right! Lots of blood to be spilled and shots fired. My expectations were met and then some, especially in the last couple of acts, because this thing just gets crazy at that point. For me, violence, especially of this magnitude, should not just be crowbarred into a film, it has to fit the tone. In this case, it works and works very well, but in another film, perhaps not so much.
Is that a plot? Believe it or not, there is a plot about Schwarzenegger’s family being murdered, stolen money, what it’s for, and the mysterious circumstances under which members of this team are dying. A bit more serious and complex film that what you would expect from a bunch of muscled up guys with guns, but it does work better than it doesn’t. I was invested in the story, if for no other reason than to find out why these cops would risk their careers to steal $10,000, especially none of them seem like the rogue cop type.
What didn’t I like?
Once upon a time in Mexico. In this epilogue of a scene, Schwarzenegger goes to Mexico to handle some business. I wouldn’t have a problem with it, except that it feels like a different film. Before this happens, the plot with the money and the murder of his team is resolved, making this feel sort of tacked on. I feel that they could have merged the two together or just done a montage, rather than having an added 10-15 minutes of film that just didn’t seem connected.
Likable characters? Shouldn’t there have been at least one of these characters that we actually were able to relate to? Well, there wasn’t. The closest one was perhaps Schwarzenegger, but even he was very cold and distant, which was explained later in the film. I don’t know, I guess I just would have liked for there to have been one person that was an avatar for the audience, if you will, rather than just a bunch of assholes.
Comic relief. I am grateful for the moments of comic relief that are sprinkled in here and there. A flick like this needs to lighten up sometimes. Thing is, I don’t think they did enough of it. Seems to me that on this team, there should have been at least one guy that would be the jokester, I nominate Terrence Howard, but there wasn’t. They were all so serious, and I think that took me out of the film. Obviously, these guys love their job, but are we to believe that on a personal level they don’t joke around (other than giving each other penis tattoos on their back)?
Final verdict on Sabotage? It is somewhat decent, but I don’t believe that I loved it. Honestly, I’m not even sure if I liked it more than your average film. Nothing in the picture is going to stick with you and, I believe, if not for Schwarzenegger, this would probably have been a direct-to-DVD or Netflix release. Still, as always, I’m sure some viewers will fall in love with it and others will scorch the earth (or at least the message boards) with their hatred for this film. Do I recommend it? No, this is not a film that is worth going out of you way to see, but if you happen to catch clips of it somewhere, I can’t fault you for that.
The Expendables led by Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and formed by Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) and Toll Road (Randy Couture) extract former member Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes), a knives specialist and team medic, from a military prison and recruit him to assist them in intercepting a shipment of bombs meant to be delivered to a warlord in Somalia. Arriving there, they reunite with Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), who directs them to the drop point, where Ross is surprised to find out that the arms trader providing the bombs is Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), who co-founded the Expendables, but later betrayed the team to profit off of illegal weapons dealing, and was since believed to be dead. In the ensuing firefight, the Expendables are forced to retreat due to Stonebanks’ men’s advanced weaponry, and Caesar is severely injured in the process.
Blaming himself, Ross leaves for Las Vegas, where he enlists retired mercenary Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer) to help him find younger, mercenaries to join the team. The recruits include ex-Marine John Smilee (Kellan Lutz), nightclub bouncer Luna (Ronda Rousey), computer expert Thorn (Glen Powell) and weapons expert Mars (Victor Ortiz). Skilled sharpshooter Galgo (Antonio Banderas) advocates to be included in the team, but Ross turns him down. The new team rendezvous with CIA operative Max Drummer (Harrison Ford), the Expendables’ missions manager, and Ross’ rival Trench Mauser (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who have traced Stonebanks to Romania, where he is set to make a deal with another arms trader. Ross and the new recruits infiltrate his office building and capture him in order to deliver him to Drummer, but Stonebanks’ men catch up to them and fire a missile at the team’s van. Ross is thrown into a ravine, while Smilee, Luna, Thorn and Mars are captured by Stonebanks.
Stonebanks sends Ross a video, challenging Ross to come after him. While preparing to leave, Ross is found by Galgo, and agrees to give him a chance. Christmas, Jensen, Road and Doc likewise join his efforts, and they raid the building where Stonebanks is keeping the recruits and rescue them. Stonebanks has rigged the place with explosives, but Thorn is able to use a battery-powered device to delay the countdown. Drummer and Mauser arrive to help them alongside retired member Yin Yang (Jet Li), and the team begrudingly works together to kill Stonebanks’ men and destroy his weapons. Ross and Stonebanks fight hand-to-hand, and Ross finally kills him just as the batteries of Thorn’s device run out and the entire building begins to collapse. The team makes it to Drummer’s helicopter and flies away to safety.
Caesar recovers from his wounds, and Ross officially accepts Galgo, Smilee, Luna, Thorn and Mars into the team. They all get together at a bar to celebrate.
REVIEW:
Admittedly, I never would have expected this niche idea to spawn into an entire franchise, yet here we are with The Expendables 3. While there is something to be said about surviving to a trilogy, one has to wonder if they are getting too big for their britches. Look at how many people are on that poster!
What is this about?
Maintaining their go-for-broke attitude in this installment of the action franchise, the Expendables square off against villainous arms trader Conrad Stonebanks, who’s hell-bent on destroying the team.
What did I like?
Blood Transfusion. After a mission goes wrong and nearly costs one of them their lives, Stallone’s character fires the old guys (big mistake) and goes on a search for the next team of Expendables. Quite honestly, save for Ronda Rousey’s character, these young bucks are generic and forgettable. However, two new old guys that come in steal the show, Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. First off, Snipes has been in prison for tax evasion the past 8 years or so (in real life), so this is his first role back, and you really can’t tell he was away. Although, I wonder if it is possible for him to have gotten darker. Ha! This character of his kicks all sorts of ass and has the personality of Willie “Mays” Hays, Snipes’ character from Major League. Banderas is an acrobatic ball of Spanish fire! When he comes on, he doesn’t shut up, but he gets the job done. If I had to equate his performance with anyone, it would be as if he brought the studio performance of reading his line for Puss in Boots to this film and then had a few cases of Red Bull. I almost forgot to mention Harrison Ford, who replaces Bruce Willis’ role as CIA liaison. Ford is an upgrade, both in terms of credibility and acting ability. Most importantly, though, he appears to want to be there, whereas Willis was just sort of there.
Action and explosions. A bunch of ex-military guys going out on missions armed to the teeth and willing to sacrifice themselves for the cause. What else can we expect but lots of action and explosions? If you’re looking for some mind-blowing drama, this ain’t the place to find it, I hate to break that to you. Save for a slight slowdown in the second and third acts, this flick is almost nonstop action, starting with a badass train rescue scene that reminds us why these films are so enjoyable.
Mel’s diner. The Expendables 2 dug up Jean-Claude Van Damme and made him a villain. Excuse me, Vilain. This time around we get Mel Gibson, who apparently was one of the original Expendables (with Stallone and Snipes), but a mission went wrong and, after being rumored for dead, he is discovered to be a massive weapons dealer. In Machete Kills, Gibson returned to the big screen, after his strange legal troubles, and gave us an over the top villain performance for the ages. This character seems as if he is just as unhinged, but Gibson is doing his best to keep that under control. That Jekyll & Hyde dynamic, if you will, is what makes it work so well as a foil for the team.
What didn’t I like?
Young vs. old. Tell me if you’ve heard this before. A bunch of old guys, who are (or were) the top of their game…maybe even the best have an encounter with the “next generation” who do the same job but with fancier gadgets and more attitude. If that sounds familiar, it is probably because just about everytime we get old and new school together, they come to blows. Personally, with this group of “newbies”, they could have been left out of the film, save for Rousey and the computer guy. These films were created with the intention of giving the older guys the spotlight, a little tidbit they seem to have forgotten.
Race card. Bare with me as I step on my soapbox for a bit here. So, early on, Terry Crews’ character is mortally wounded, strangely enough, this happens as a new African-American character, played by Wesley Snipes, is brought in. Crews even mentions it, since he was in Somalia, or whatever 3rd world country that was while the rest of the team was breaking Snipes out of that prison train. We should have known then, but it seems as if this film suffers from what has been deemed The Walking Dead syndrome, which is the inability to have two black characters. Go back and watch the show, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Most notably when T-Dog was just coming into his own is when he gets it…coincidentally as Michonne was brought in. If this is some hidden Hollywood racism, it could also point to why we still haven’t got that much-anticipated Black Panther movie. Then again, if we ever do get it and he joins the Avengers, Falcon or War Machine, if not both, would have to go. Back to the point at hand, Crews’ character is one of the most charming and endearing of this franchise and they took him out of this film. It could have just as easily been Randy Couture’s character. No one cares about him, plus we get 2 other UFC stars later in the film! –steps off soapbox–
Snipe hunt. After Snipes’ badass introduction, he disappears into the background. I have two issues with this. First, they go through all the trouble of pointing out that he’s one of the original Expendables and a doctor, yet the only time we see him doing any doctoring is when Crews is hurt. As far being one of the original, that just seemed like it was a convenient plot point to break him out of jail. Second, the clothes they put him in are…well…let’s just say they remind me of what my grandfather wore. Now, I will say that the home base of this film is New Orleans, and that is a style down there, especially among jazz musicians, just go look at Kermit Ruffins. Unfortunately, Snipes is not playing a jazz musician, so I have to wonder if the clothes were to just keep him noticed. If that was the case, then it worked. If not, then someone needs to rethink these choices because the look does not work for Snipes.
I was expecting The Expendables 3 to do better at the box office. Maybe if they stopped trying to make these PG-13, it would have. The audience for these films is mostly those of us that were around when these guys were in their prime, making R rated action flicks, complete with boobs, muscles, sweat, action, and guns. If and when they make the 4th film of this franchise, I hope they realize that. Also, they touched on the origin of the group, I would like to see more of that and/or since there are so many now, perhaps Expendables A and Expendables B? Just a couple of thoughts. All that said, this is not the kind of film that will be bringing home any awards in the spring, I think we all know that little fact. However, it is a fun summer flick. Out of the 3 films, it may be the best written and most exciting. Do I recommend it? Yes, very highly! Check it out!
Hercules, at Olympus, berates his father Zeus for not allowing him to leave the gods’ abode to adventure on earth. Eventually Zeus sends Hercules, on a beam, to the land of men.
After some strange encounters in the air and at sea, Hercules arrives in New York City, where hilarity ensues in the form of interactions with various New Yorkers, who regard him as physically superior but socially awkward. He meets a skinny little guy called Pretzie (Arnold Stang). Hercules becomes a successful professional wrestler.
Zeus, watching Hercules from the heights, becomes irritated with Hercules’ antics, which he feels are making a mockery of the gods, and calls on Mercury to stop Hercules. After Mercury makes an unsuccessful attempt to bring Hercules home, Zeus orders Nemesis to see to it that Hercules is consigned to the infernal regions ruled over by Pluto.
However, Juno instead convinces Nemesis to poison Hercules with a poison that would strip him of his divinity and then talk to Pluto. Nemesis informs Pluto of what is happening and he bets a large sum of money against Hercules in an upcoming strongman competition with Hercules’ gangster manager.
When Hercules loses the strongman competition his friends try to lead off Hercules’ angry manager’s henchmen, but Hercules follows them to save them.
Meanwhile, Zeus uncovers the truth from Nemesis as to what is happening but only intervenes at the last minute to restore Hercules’ divinity, not wanting any son of his to die at the hands of a mortal.
Hercules defeats the gangsters and realizes that he has been disobedient and returns to the heavens shortly after, only saying good-bye to Pretzie over a radio after he leaves.
In the heavens, Zeus tells Juno and Hercules that he is not going to punish Hercules for his behavior as they ask him about it and then asks to be left alone. They leave him alone, and upon their departure, Zeus sneaks out of the heavens and descends to earth, scaring a passenger jet on his way down.
REVIEW:
Before he was The Terminator, Governator, or any other -ator, Arnold Schwarzenegger was nothing more than a new muscle-bound face in Hollywood. Hercules in New York is his first US film, I believe, as he is only 22 years of age and had just beaten Lou Ferrigno (you know, Th Incredible Hulk from TV) for the title of Mr. Olympia, Universe, or whatever the bodybuilding title is. Arnold’s muscles were a thing of beauty, but were they enough to carry an entire film?
What is this about?
Long before he became governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger (billed as Arnold Strong) starred as the titular god in this comic adventure. Bored of life on Mount Olympus, Herc is zapped by a lightning bolt into 20th-century New York. He befriends a pretzel vendor (Arnold Stang), tears through Times Square in a chariot and crosses paths with the mob and a shifty wrestling promoter before Zeus (Ernest Graves) orders him to return home.
What did I like?
Sidekick. What is a good action film without a nerdy sidekick, right? In this one, we get a guy who must have been an inspiration for Rick Moranis, because many of his mannerisms remind one of good ol’ Rick. I would wager no one known who Arnold Stang is. Even I don’t know much about him other than he appeared in an episode of The Cosby Show (the one with Sammy Davis, Jr.) and was the voice of Top Cat, Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, and various other characters and commercials. His pairing with the giant, muscle-bound Schwarzenegger is odd, to say the least, but it also genius. Remember, in about 15-20 years after this, Arnold teams up with another man of diminutive stature that you would never guess he’d have chemistry with, Danny DeVito, in Twins. We all know how well that one ended up, right?
Ye Gods. Originally, I thought this was going be some movie where a guy wakes up in a museum and realizes he’s Hercules, but in New York, and the only mention of the gods would be in passing here and there. That wasn’t the case, though, as they are major parts of the plot, especially Zeus. As a matter of fact, there is almost this Clash of the Titans vibe with their gathering on Olympus that I really enjoyed.
Strong look. Apparently, finding someone who has the look of how we all think Hercules should appear is next to impossible, but Schwarzenegger pulls it off. Then again, the guy is a bodybuilder, what do you expect? Take a look at the upcoming Hercules movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and he is about the same size, if not bigger. There is always the Disney version and Kevin Sorbo’s take in the PS3 game, God of War III that also seem to be very similar. All this is to say, with everything else about this film, Arnold had the look.
What didn’t I like?
Action. I was watching something one day and it showed what some of the most iconic scenes in film would look and sound like without the score behind them. Most were painful to watch because of the silence. That is what happens to this flick whenever there is an action scene. Not only does the music cut out, but so does all the sound! Come to think of it, I don’t think there was much of a score to this film! Who had that bright idea?!?
Mixology. Last I checked, Zeus, Juno, and Samson weren’t all in the same belief. Hercules is a Greek demigod, so all the other deities should have been Greek, as well. So, why was Hera called Juno? Why was Samson, a character from the Bible, called in? It was all quite confusing! Stick to one or the other. I would make an exception for Pluto, because some people get offended when you say Hades, but they say hell in the movie, so no excuse for not calling him Hades!
Petulant child. In Thor, we meet an immortal of immense strength, royal lineage, and a bad attitude. The same thing applies to Hercules. Similarities between him and Thor abound, but the thing that sticks out the most is how much more Hercules seems to not care about anyone but himself. At least Thor showed compassion for his compatriots. Hercules just came off as a brat throughout most of the picture.
Dubstep. At this time in his career, Schwarzenegger’s English was not so good, so the filmmakers decided to dub his voice. The problem with that is that it is obviously not Arnold’s. At least with kung-fu and Godzilla films, when the Japanese is dubbed, we English speakers get a chuckle of how bad the dub is because the words don’t line up with the mouths. That isn’t the case with Schwarzenegger, as the dubbed voice sounds as pretentious as this version of Hercules appears to be. This isn’t the first time Hercules has been dubbed, either. If I recall, I believe Mickey Hargitay was dubbed in Hercules vs. the Hydra and Arnold was again dubbed in his next major release, that I know of, Conan, the Barbarian. Those were better dub jobs, though.
Whoever thought it was a good idea to put Hercules in modern-day, mix him up with some gangsters, and attempt to give him a rather average looking love interest needs to be drug out into the street and shot! There is a reason this is considered one of the worst films ever made. Still, I’ve seen much worse. Do I recommend it? If you’re a die-hard Schwarzenegger fan, especially when he was young and even more muscle-bound than we have grown to know him being, then yes, but don’t expect greatness. This is one of his first films, after all, and he doesn’t even deliver the lines (unless you happen upon the version that isn’t dubbed). Otherwise, best to avoid this at all costs!
Ray Breslin is a former prosecutor who co-owns Breslin-Clark, a Los Angeles–based security firm specializing in testing the reliability of maximum security prisons. He spends his life getting into prisons to study their designs and the guards’ habits to find and exploit their weaknesses, thus enabling him to escape without a hitch or a victim. He claims his goal is to ensure that criminals sent to prison stay inside by eliminating the weakness of every prison.
One day, he and his business partner Lester Clark are offered a multimillion dollar deal by CIA agent Jessica Miller to test a top-secret prison and see if it is escape-proof. Breslin goes against all his own rules and chooses the money. He agrees to the deal and gets himself captured in New Orleans, Louisiana, under the guise of a Spanish terrorist named “Anthony Portos”, but the plan goes awry when his captors remove the tracking microchip from his arm and drug him on the way to the prison, which thus disables him from ending the experiment by proving his identity.
Breslin wakes up in a complex of glass cells with no outside windows to indicate the prison’s location. He meets fellow inmate Emil Rottmayer, and they both stage a fight for Breslin to study the solitary confinement cell, which uses high-powered halogen lights to disorient and dehydrate prisoners. Seeing that the cell floors are made of aluminum, but the rivets are steel, Breslin has Rottmayer procure a metal plate from Warden Willard Hobbes’s office floor before the both of them and Muslim inmate Javed are once again thrown into solitary. Using the metal plate, Breslin focuses the reflection from the lights to heat the rivets and pop open the floor panel to reveal a passageway below.
He goes through the passageway and discovers that the prison is inside a cargo ship in the middle of the ocean, making a simple escape impossible in case of a possible break down. Breslin and Rottmayer continue to study the complex by learning the guards’ daily routines, and Breslin gives Hobbes false information about Rottmayer’s boss, Victor Mannheim. Meanwhile, Breslin’s colleagues Abigail Ross and Hush grow suspicious of Clark when Breslin’s paycheck for the job is frozen. They discover from hacked documents that the prison, codenamed “The Tomb”, is owned by a for-profit organization linked to an unnamed privately owned security provider, and Clark was offered a US$5 million annual salary from them in exchange for keeping Breslin behind bars.
Back in the prison, Hobbes reveals to Breslin that he is aware of his identity, and with chief security officer Drake watching him, he wants to ensure that Breslin stays for the rest of his life in prison. Rottmayer has Javed convince Hobbes to bring him on deck to do his nightly prayer when he actually uses a makeshift sextant to get the ship’s latitude. Using the latitude and observations of the weather, Breslin and Rottmayer deduce that they are in the Atlantic Ocean near Morocco. Breslin visits the infirmary of Dr. Kyrie and convinces him to help him and Rottmayer escape by sending an email to Mannheim. Breslin then transmits a false tap code message from his cell, giving Hobbes the impression that a riot will occur in cell block C. With majority of the security stationed at cell block C, Javed instigates a riot at cell block A, giving him, Breslin, and Rottmayer time to run toward the deck while a lockdown is initiated.
Breslin kills Drake, but Javed is shot dead by Hobbes and his men during their escape. Breslin goes to the engine room to reboot the electrical systems, giving Rottmayer time to open the deck hatch while a helicopter sent by Mannheim engages in a gunfight with the ship’s crew. Rottmayer boards the helicopter while Breslin is flushed to the bottom of the ship by the automated water system. The helicopter picks up Breslin, but when Hobbes starts shooting at them, Breslin kills the warden by shooting and blowing up a group of oil barrels in front of him.
They land on a beach in Morocco, where Rottmayer reveals that he is actually Mannheim, Miller is his daughter, “Portos” was a codeword used to alert Mannheim that Breslin was an ally, and Hobbes was originally unaware that Breslin’s cover story was fake. Later, at a Moroccan airfield, Ross informs Breslin that Clark had fled, but Hush tracked him in Miami, and locked him in a container aboard a cargo ship.
REVIEW:
For the longest time, action fans have been wishing for the ultimate team up of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, the two most bankable action stars arguably of all time (although, if they don’t watch their backs, Liam Neeson is going to take that title away from them, especially if Bruce Willis hasn’t already). While they are both in their late 60s, Escape Plan finally gives action fans their wet dream team up, albeit in an action thriller, rather than a Rambo vs. Commando type film that we all were hoping for.
What is this about?
Framed and thrown into an escape-proof prison that he designed himself, structural security expert Ray must use all his know-how to break out. Ray and a fellow inmate dodge the jail’s corrupt warden and guard to track down who’s behind the setup.
What did I like?
Prison. The prison that Stallone’s character ends up in is built from the mistakes other prisons that he has escaped from have made. The warden even makes an effort to not let him escape using methods he’s used before. The guy did his homework, but the point I’m trying to make here is that the prison is an impressive sight when we first see it. Immediately, I was reminded of Magneto’s plastic cell from the X-Men movies. There seemed to be a similar design on display.
JC and the Crew. Normally, movies that star Jim Caviezel aren’t my cup of tea. He tends to do more heavy drama stuff that I just don’t go for. That being said, he makes for a great villainous warden. The snarling facial expressions and utter disdain he has for everyone, especially Stallone makes him an antagonist that you will remember, as his strength is in his intellect, rather than muscles.
Concept. Earlier this year, I watched Escape from Alcatraz, which was a true story about inmates breaking out of Alcatraz, which was supposedly impossible to escape from. Stallone’s job is to make sure prisons have airtight security. The problem is when you’re this good at your job, someone is going to come and take you down, and that is how Stallone ends up in prison with no apparent way out. That is the kind of plot that draws you in and give the audience a bit of suspense wondering if he’ll get out or not.
What didn’t I like?
Payoff. Earlier, I mentioned how there was a big hoopla about Sly and Arnold finally starring in a film together, excluding The Expendables franchise. Had this been made when both guys were in their prime, there would have been guns, fights, and pretty much anything else that you can attribute to films these guys have made. However, because they have gotten up there in age, the genre this film is placed in, and various other factors, this wasn’t the big blowout that people would have liked. What I mean by that is that everyone would have liked for these two to slug it out, much like Vin Diesel and the Rock in Fast Five, but that isn’t what we got, leaving us to wonder why not.
Twist. There is a twist in the plot that isn’t exactly obvious, but you can figure it out if you just think. That isn’t my problem though. I take issue with the fact that the twist isn’t really built up enough. It is as if you’re going along knowing something is bound to happen, but it doesn’t actually happen until you very least expect it. A better buildup would have worked better than a brief mention followed by nothing until the end.
Answer the question. More than a few times, Stallone is asked, “What kind of man spends his life in prison?” I don’t believe he answered the question, but we did get a bit of a back story involving his previous career as a lawyer and his client double-crossing him, if I’m not mistaken. This is more a complaint about character development than anything else, especially since we learned about Stallone’s history, and yet no answer as to why he wants to spend the rest of his life in and out of prisons. I almost want to say it would have been better to just let him stay a mystery.
If you were looking for an action packed team up between Sly and Arnold, Escape Plan is going to severely disappoint. The thriller aspect of this film takes center stage more than the action and we don’t get much action from Schwarzenegger (Stallone does do his fair share of stunts). After all the dust settles, the best way to determine what one really thinks about this film is to take out the major draws and see what you have left, which is not much of anything. Do I recommend this film? Only if you’re a fan of the acting of these two guys and I don’t really know anyone that fits into that category. Your best bet with this flick is to just catch it on television one day, if at all.
While praying at an altar with his traveling companion and fellow thief Malak (Tracey Walter), Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is confronted by Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) of Shadizar, who tests the pair in combat with several of her guards. She tells him that she has a quest for him, but he initially refuses her. The Queen uses her power to learn his greatest desire, and promises to resurrect Conan’s beloved Valeria. Conan agrees to the quest. The Queen states that her niece, Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo), is destined to find a special jewel that can be used to obtain an artifact that will awaken the dreaming god, Dagoth. She tasks Conan and Malak to protect Jehnna on this journey, to be accompanied by the captain of the Queen’s guard, Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain). Secretly, the Queen has instructed Bombaata to kill Conan once the task is complete so they can sacrifice Jehnna to the god.
Because the gem is secured in the fortress of a powerful wizard, Conan seeks the help of his friend, the wizard Akiro (Mako). Akiro must first be rescued from a tribe of cannibals who plan to eat him to absorb his magic. Afterwards they meet Zula (Grace Jones), a powerful warrior and bandit, whom Jehnna and Conan rescue from vengeful villagers; considering herself indebted to Conan for saving her life, she offers to join their quest. They reach the wizard Toth-Amon’s (Pat Roach) icy castle upon a lake, and make camp for the night. While they sleep, the wizard transforms into a bird of smoke and kidnaps Jehnna. The company assault the castle and Conan is able to defeat the wizard, but in doing so he disrupts the magic binding the castle together forcing their hasty retreat. With the jewel now in hand they travel to the place where the horn is hidden. Jehnna expresses romantic interest in Conan, but he drunkenly rebuffs her and declares his devotion to Valeria.
They reach an ancient temple, and Jehnna uses the power of the jewel to find and obtain the horn. Guardians of the horn overwhelm the group, but they manage to find a secret exit passage. Bombaata blocks their exit and seizes Jehnna. The others escape his deathtrap and make their way back to Shadizar. There, they use a secret route known to Malak (through his “Cousin’s sister’s brother”, basically his first cousin) to reach the throne room and confront Bombaata. Conan kills him in combat.
Meanwhile, Jehnna has been drugged and prepared for the sacrifice. The horn is placed upon the head of the Dagoth statue. Upon its first signs of life, they attempt to sacrifice Jehnna, but Zula intervenes and kills the Grand Vizier (Jeff Corey) first. Having received an improper sacrifice, the statue becomes angry and begins to twist and distort into the demonic version of Dagoth (André the Giant) as Akiro had feared. Queen Taramis is killed and Conan battles the Dagoth, eventually killing it by removing the horn from its head.
After the battle, the newly crowned Queen Jehnna offers each of her companions a place in her new court. Zula becomes the new captain of the guard replacing the recently deceased Bombatta, because Jehnna does not see any reason why a woman cannot do as good a job as any man. Akiro becomes her new wiseman and advisor, and Malak’s buffoonery qualifies him for the position of court jester. She offers Conan her hand and the opportunity to rule the kingdom together, but he declines, having been promised a kingdom already. He departs on his own for further adventures and to find his own place in the world.
REVIEW:
Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as the muscle-bound hero Conan in Conan the Destroyer. Originally, this was meant to be part of a trilogy, but the third film was retooled and turned into Krull the Conqueror. Why, you may ask? Quite simple, this film did not do as well with fans and critics. One has to wonder what went wrong, though.
What is this about?
While on a quest to retrieve a magical gem, muscleman Conan vanquishes mortal and supernatural adversaries with help from his ham-fisted sidekick, a wacky wizard, a fierce woman warrior and a gigantic bodyguard. But there’s a traitor among the ranks.
What did I like?
Conan. A man of few words, but much action, Conan was the perfect role for a young Schwarzenegger to take on. If you can believe it, I read that he was actually asked to put on more muscle. Now, this is a guy that isn’t too far removed from winning a Mr. World title, which is a bodybuilding completion, and they asked him to get even bigger! Not much can be said about his acting, other than comparing this to the latest film I saw him in, The Last Stand, you can really tell he has come along way, even if he doesn’t have the imposing physique anymore.
Quest. In the early 80s, there seemed to have been a slew of sci-fi films involving quests and children that would go on to be or that already were ruling the kingdom. You would think this would get to be a bit tired, but for some reason, it felt like a fresh idea with Princess Jehnna not being a total brat. Something that as the years have passed, we see less and less of in on-screen children, if you’d notice. The quest for the dagger leads to some adventures and is the main focal point of the film, also it is not just a recycled version of Conan the Barbarian. It is always a plus when you have fresh material.
Sidekick. A good comedic sidekick can go a long way, especially is they can do more than crack jokes, but be useful in accomplishing the task at hand. Malak may be a bit of an idiot, but he works in contrast to the serious nature of all the other characters. His obsession with Zula, played by Grace Jones is particularly interesting to watch. Through all his bumbling, his dagger skills are particularly impressive.
What didn’t I like?
PG. For some reason, the powers that be at the studio decided that this film would make more money if they toned down the violence so that it could appeal to a broader family base, not to mention garner a PG rating. This is actually a practice still being used today, mostly in the horror genre. Why else do you think films that could be total bloodbaths end up so sanitized? Studios think they’ll make more money by toning it down so the younger fanbase can come out and see it. When a flick is meant to have a certain level of violence and what not and it doesn’t…well, that is a red flag that hangs over the entire picture.
Laker nation. Wilt Chamberlain makes his big screen debut as the princess’ bodyguard, or whatever his official title was. He doesn’t do a bad job, but one has to wonder why they cast a retired (I think he was at this time) NBA player. For that matter, has anyone noticed that all the basketball players that go on to movie careers are Lakers: Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabar, Shaquille O’Neal, etc? What’s up with that?
Dagoth. The whole point of this film is to awaken the dreaming god, Dagoth. As you can imagine something goes wrong, and Dagoth turns on everyone. I’m not going to raise a fuss about that, but rather the design and execution of the creature. It seems to me that he would’ve been the perfect opportunity for stop-motion animation, rather than a guy in a suit. Also, the fight, at least for me, could have been better. It is the climax of the film, after all. All bets should have been off!
My expectations for Conan the Destroyer weren’t exactly high, but I did expect a decent film. What I ended up watching was a flick that the studio got their greasy mitts on and ruined everything good about. There is no doubt in my mind that this would have been a far superior film before that happened, not to mention a worthy successor to the original film. If you’re a fan of early 80s fantasy films or Schwarzenegger in his early days, then this is something you probably shouldn’t miss. Otherwise, it is a film that you happen to glance over and maybe decide to check out when all the other options have been exhausted.
Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a man who has resigned himself to a life of fighting what little crime takes place in sleepy border town Sommerton Junction, Arizona, after leaving his LAPD post following a bungled operation that left him wracked with failure and defeat after his partner was crippled and his team decimated. The crimes experienced in Sommerton range from the Mayor parking his red Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 in the fire lane and vintage arms collector Lewis Dinkum (Johnny Knoxville) firing off guns at slabs of meat with the deputies. One night, international drug lord Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) makes a daring escape from FBI custody in Las Vegas and speeds off in a modified Chevrolet Corvette C6 ZR1, taking Agent Ellen Richards (Génesis Rodríguez) as his hostage as he races southbound toward Mexico at speeds over 200 mph. Agent John Bannister (Forrest Whitaker) has a blockade set up in Bullhead City, Arizona, but Cortez’s men mow down the police officers on site and clear the road for him to continue his getaway. Cortez also uses his extraordinary driving skills to immobilize two SWAT vehicles headed toward Summerton Junction. Before flying to Arizona, Agent Bannister has his team do a financial background check on all agents involved to find out how Cortez managed to escape so easily.
Sometime past 4:30 in the morning, Owens dispatches deputies Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford) and Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander) to visit the residence of the local farmer Parsons (Harry Dean Stanton), who has suddenly missed his usual milk delivery at the diner. After discovering that Parsons has been murdered, the deputies follow a trail of tire tracks that lead them to Cortez’s henchman Thomas Burrell (Peter Stormare) and his mercenary cutthroats, who are planting a mobile assault bridge across the canyon that marks the U.S./Mexico border. Bailey is fatally shot in the middle of a shootout between the deputies and the thugs before Owens rushes in to bring his officers back to his precinct. Shortly after being notified by Agent Bannister of Cortez’s presence, Owens gathers Torrance and senior Deputy Mike “Figgy” Figuerola (Luis Guzmán). He also deputizes jailed local Frank Martinez (Rodrigo Santoro), a former Marine with PTSD who developed a streak of never finishing what he started. Because Bailey was his friend, Martinez insists that he will not falter. Finally, Owens recruits Dinkum to protect their town. Dinkum agrees only if he becomes a deputy and if he keeps the gun Owens had confiscated earlier.
At 7:10 a.m., Owens and his deputies have the town’s main road barricaded with cars when Burrell and his men arrive, prompting a lengthy firefight. Armed only with a Tommy Gun, Figuerola holds off the thugs before being injured by a sniper. Owens and Dinkum mow down a majority of the thugs with a Vickers machine gun dubbed “Nazi-Killer” mounted on the back of a school bus with Martinez providing cover fire, while Torrance snipes several gunmen on the rooftops. After Owens kills Burrell, Cortez’s Corvette eventually arrives in town, veering past the barricade as Owens and the deputies shoot at it. Cortez ejects Agent Richards from the car before speeding through a corn field. Suddenly, he encounters the Mayor’s Camaro commandeered by Owens before both cars collide with a tractor. A dazed Cortez continues his escape on foot, but Owens meets him at the bridge. Owens ignores Cortez’s bribe offers before both men wrestle each other. Despite sustaining slashes and stab wounds from Cortez’s push dagger, Owens defeats the drug lord and handcuffs him before dragging him back into town with the battered Camaro. Agent Bannister arrives to take Cortez back into custody and arrests Agent Richards for taking the drug lord’s bribe and aiding in his escape. Deputies Figuerola and Dinkum are taken to the hospital to be treated for their wounds. Martinez turns in the deputy’s badge, Bailey’s badge, that Owens had given him earlier. Owens tells him to keep it, as he’s earned it. As the Mayor sees what is left of his Camaro, Owens warns him about parking in the fire lane before he, Torrance and Martinez walk into the diner.
REVIEW:
Now that Arnold is through running California into the ground, he has returned to acting, as we saw in the two Expendables movies. The Last Stand is his first starring role, if I’m not mistaken. Given that he’s been away for a few years and, also, isn’t as young as he used to be, this is the perfect vehicle, pardon the pun, to reintroduce audiences to him.
What is this about?
Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a border town sheriff who’s taken up his post after tragic events brought an end to his tenure with the LAPD. But his quiet life is interrupted when a drug boss escapes FBI custody and flees straight toward his town.
What did I like?
Action. This is one of those films where you just shut your brain off and enjoy the ride. Yes, there is a plot, but you don’t really care much about it, at least until the end. When the fast car and the guns take center stage about halfway through, you can’t do anything but smile and enjoy, which is really the whole point of any film, really. The final fight between the sheriff and the villain is really worth seeing, especially if you’re a Schwarzenegger fan. The old man still has it.
Deputies. Gone are the days of the bumbling sheriff deputies like Barney Fife, or are they. The three deputies here represent the kind of personalities we normally see associated with a cop. There is the steel-willed female who doesn’t show any emotions until just the right moment, the comic relief, and the young go-getter. These three mixed with Schwarzenegger’s bitter old man sheriff and you have quite the chemistry going on with the town’s lawmen.
Car. Last week, I had the chance to see Fast & Furious 6, where the cars were, um, fast and furious. As I was watching the car chase scenes, I couldn’t help but think there had to have been some inspiration drawn from those pictures. Also, the car scenes were just really well shot. There may have been a little too much use of the shaky came, but I can live with that because this car was awesome!
What didn’t I like?
Survival. There is a scene near the end where the sheriff bodyslams the villain onto the edge of the bridge they are fighting on. I don’t know why or how, but somehow the guy survives when he should have a broken back. I realize that all realism is thrown out the window with this picture, but good grief! That was just a bit much for even me to swallow.
Johnny Knoxville. I don’t like him!
Wasted. The great character actor, Peter Stormare is not really given anything to do in this picture. He has a couple of scenes where he gets to show off his sadistic nature, but for the most part, he is playing a character that seems like he’s a right hand man, but it is never really implicitly stated.
The Last Stand can best be described as a sort of modern say western. We have the sheriff and his deputies defending the town from the criminal element coming through. There is even a shootout in the middle of the day, and it is set in a western town. Needless to say, I enjoyed the heck out of this flick. It is right up my alley with the mindless action and whatnot. I won’t recommend it to those of you that insist on films that make you think, but for those that want mindless action and a good popcorn flick, this is for you. Give it a shot!
Retired Delta Force Operative Colonel John Matrix is informed by his former superior Major General Franklin Kirby that all the other members of his unit have been killed by unknown mercenaries. The mercenaries, among them Bennett, an ex-member of Matrix’s team fired for overt brutality in service, attack Matrix’s secluded mountain home and kidnap Matrix’s young daughter Jenny. While trying to intercept them, Matrix is also overpowered by the mercenaries.
It is revealed that Matrix is needed to carry out a political assassination for a South American dictator named Arius, who wishes to lead a military coup in his home country of Val Verde. Arius, who was deposed by Matrix in the course of one of his missions, has chosen the colonel because the current president trusts him implicitly. With Jenny’s life on the line, Matrix reluctantly accepts the demand.
After boarding a plane to Val Verde, Matrix manages to kill his guard, Henriques, and jumps from the plane just as it is taking off. With approximately 11 hours’ time (the period of the flight), he sets out after another of Arius’ men, Sully. He then enlists the aid of an off-duty flight attendant named Cindy, and instructs her to follow Sully to a shopping mall. Cindy first assumes that Matrix is a maniac, but after seeing him desperately trying to get his hands on Sully, she has a change of heart and henceforth assists him in his endeavor. After a lengthy car chase, Matrix catches up with Sully whom he drops off a cliff to his death.
With Cindy’s aid, Matrix learns where Jenny is being held. He then breaks into a surplus store to equip himself with military weapons, but the police arrive and Matrix is arrested. Cindy helps him escape, and after commandeering a seaplane from a nearby marina controlled by Arius, Matrix and Cindy land the plane off the coast of Arius’ island hideout. Matrix instructs Cindy to contact General Kirby and then proceeds to Arius’ villa, kills Arius’ entire private militia, and subsequently confronts and kills Arius in a gunfight.
Matrix locates Jenny in the basement of the villa, where she has fled and was cornered by Bennett. After a fierce struggle, Matrix finally kills Bennett. Kirby arrives with a military detachment and asks Matrix to rejoin the Special Forces Unit, but Matrix declines and departs the island aboard the seaplane with Jenny and Cindy.
REVIEW:
Many critics and reviewers, myself included, have been saying that they want to see some legit 80s action. With this in mind, a friend of mind suggested Commando, one of Schwarzenegger’s upper tier, yet somewhat forgettable, films.
What is this about?
Col. John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), the former leader of a special ops team, is vaulted back into action to save his young daughter (Alyssa Milano) who has been kidnapped. Her life is threatened lest John assassinate a South American president. Rather than being strong-armed into such a proposition, John takes matters (and lots of guns) into his owns hands as he fights through the jungle against his enemies to save his daughter.
What did I like?
Body count. From the opening scene to the end, there is a pretty high body count, and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more! Man, I miss 80s flicks, where movies got away with killing people for no other reason then they were there. In a way, I was hoping for more bodies strewn about and more blood. Yes, you can call me bloodthirsty, sadistic, etc., but I know what I like.
Ridiculous. Many of the things that Schwarzenegger does make no sense. They make him almost super human with these feats, such as carrying a tree from the forest to his house. Also, driving a bulldozer into a weapons store and then stocking up on everything without cops showing up for quite some time. I feel like I should have a problem with this, but the over-the-top ridiculousness of this sold me even more on the whole flick.
What didn’t I like?
Score. This can be a big or small thing, depending on how much you pay attention to the score. For me, as a musician, I analyze everything about the things. This score isn’t bad, mind you, but it doesn’t really fit, especially in the early parts of the film when they are still in, I want to say outside of L.A., but don’t quote me. The steel drums and exotic feel didn’t seem to be the best choice. Truthfully, I didn’t really notice it until the introduction of Schwarzenegger. It was played almost like his theme music. With that in mind, in the latter half of the film, when location shifts to the island, not only does it work better, they also go with some cheesy 80s music. I felt it would have worked better the other way around.
Obvious. Look at the cast. Isn’t it quite obvious who is going to live and who isn’t? I don’t believe this was a big budget film, but they could have at least brought in some actors that wouldn’t have made it so obvious that they weren’t going to make it to the end. It just seems like that does the audience no favors.
Skin. This is sure to sound a bit hypocritical of me, but I really saw no reason for Arnold to strip down to his skivvies just to go from the plane to the land and then put clothes on. To me, that seemed like that was just a way to show off his muscles. Conversely, there is a scene a little earlier where we see gratuitous boobs. No reason for them, as she isn’t even a character in the plot, but I have no complaint about that. Arnold, though, I have to issue with.
Anyone looking for a fun, bloody, action flick, need look no further than Commando. With this you get everything you’re looking for, including Arnold in his early prime (this was around the time of The Terminator). Make no mistake, though, this is not a great film. It is just mindless fun, the kind of thing that movies of this era were made for! Check this out sometime!
Red Sonja is visited by a spirit who grants her the strength to seek her revenge against Queen Gedren. In a flashback scene, Gedren murders Red Sonja’s brother and parents after Sonja rejects the queen’s sexual advances, and Sonja is raped by Gedren’s troops.
Later, Gedren’s army and her aide-de-camp Ikol attack a temple full of white-robed priestesses, who are preparing to destroy a large, glowing green orb called the Talisman, used by the Creator to forge the world. This dangerous artifact’s destructive power is growing, and the priestesses intend to destroy it before it gets out of control and destroys the world. Only the priestess Varna manages to escape and she is mortally injured. Varna encounters Lord Kalidor and begs him to help her find her sister, Red Sonja. Kalidor finds Sonja and tells her that her sister is dying. Before dying, Varna tells Sonja what happened at the temple, and urges her to find the Talisman and destroy it. Sonja begins a journey to Berkubane, Gedren’s Kingdom of Eternal Night.
Sonja sees a storm in the distance, indicating that someone is using the Talisman. Kalidor offers to help her, but Sonja rejects his offer and rides to the now-ruined kingdom of Hablock. There she meets the young Prince Tarn and his servant, Falkon. They tell her that Gedren wiped out Hablock and its army with the Talisman because Tarn refused to surrender. Tarn announces that he is raising a new army to crush Gedren and invites Sonja to work for him as a cook. She declines and goes her own way.
Sonja kills Lord Brytag after he refuses her passage through the mountain passes. His troops surround Sonja, and Kalidor, who has secretly been following her, attacks their rear, allowing Sonja to escape. Sonja comes across Tarn and Falkon in the mountains. Tarn is being tortured by bandits. Falkon rejoins Sonja to help her kill the brigands and free the prince. They travel onward toward Berkubane.
At Castle Berkubane, Gedren and Ikol watch Sonja and her party approaching on a magic screen. Gedren recognizes Sonja and orders that she be brought back to the fortress unharmed. She and Ikol use the Talisman to conjure up a storm, forcing Sonja’s band to take shelter in a watery cavern. Gedren unleashes an “Icthyan Killing Machine” in the cavern. Kalidor reappears, and helps Sonja blind the beast.
Sonja now accepts Kalidor’s company, but also warns him that “no man can have her” unless he can defeat her in a swordfight. Kalidor challenges her and they fight to a draw. Kalidor, Sonja and Falkon then infiltrate Castle Berkubane. To protect Tarn, they convince him to stay behind in order to prevent Gedren from escaping. Sonja confronts Gedren, while Kalidor and Falkon deal with her guards in the castle’s dining hall. Ikol tries to escape with gold looted from Hablock, but is stopped by Prince Tarn, who accidentally kills him.
The Talisman, which Gedren has placed in a Chamber of Lights, is becoming too powerful to control. Its power breaks the floor open, revealing a chasm of molten lava beneath the castle. Sonja and Gedren fight in the Chamber, and Gedren falls into the chasm. Sonja throws the Talisman in after her, destroying it and starting a chain reaction that tears Castle Berkubane apart. The heroes manage to escape just before the castle is consumed by the rising volcano. Sonja and Kalidor kiss. Prince Tarn and Falkon look on before departing.
REVIEW:
I really like these sword and sandal type flicks. I also have a thing for scantily clad redheads. With those two things in mind, it would seem that Red Sonja would be right up my alley, but that turned out to be quite the case as this ended up being vastly overrated.
What is this about?
After her family is brutally murdered, a young woman named Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen) sees “red” and becomes a master of the sword — all to seek revenge on the evil queen responsible for the tragedy that snuffed out her kin.
What did I like?
Action. Once you get past the useless diatribes and pointless plot, there are some decent sword fights and action scenes sprinkled in here, most notably one featuring Sonja and a metallic dragon she fights in the water. While I do wish there was more, what we do get is worth seeing.
What didn’t I like?
Acting. Good golly Miss Molly was the acting in this film bad. Far from being the worst I’ve seen, it was still pretty horrible. I can forgive Schwarzenegger because he was still learning the language, but everyone else…geez! It is a miracle Brigitte Nielsen managed to get some kind of career after this film, she may very well have been the worst offender, and she’s the title character!
Forgettable. There is nothing that I can remember about this film and it just ended a few minutes ago. I can’t imagine that anyone will be remembering anything about it a week, month, or year after watching it. Usually there is at least something to wrap your mind around, but not the case with this, which is such a shame.
Prince Tarn. There are annoying kids and then there are those that are just downright unbearable. Prince Tarn is one of the latter. Part of it is his character, but that can only go so far. How can any one child, who was obviously meant to be comic relief, bring the film down so quickly?
Red Sonja was supposed to be a nice little action flick for me to check out during my typical Wednesday night film session, but it turned out to be something that nearly bored me to tears. I had such high hopes for this, but they were quickly dashed. I do not recommend this to anyone, unless you’re trying to torture someone. It isn’t the worst thing one can see, but it is pretty bad.
Captain Ivan Danko of the Moscow Militia sets a trap for Viktor Rostavili, a Georgian drug kingpin and crime lord. The ambush severely backfires; Viktor flees the Soviet Union and comes to the USA, after gunning down several other Moscow cops, including Danko’s partner.
Loudmouthed Chicago Police Department Detective-Sergeant Art Ridzik, investigates several local murders committed by Viktor’s cartel. When Viktor is arrested in Chicago, Danko is despatched to escort him back to Moscow to face justice in the Soviet Union. Unexpectedly, Danko and Ridzik find themselves partnered together when Viktor escapes custody, gunning down Ridzik’s partner in the process. Danko is frustrated when his lack of a diplomatic license prohibits him from carrying a weapon. He shares his candid observations with Ridzik: “This Chicago is very strange city. Your crime is organized, but your police is not.”
Danko and Ridzik pursue Viktor and his henchmen around Chicago. Finally, Danko and Viktor commandeer a couple of Greyhound buses, then engage in a high-speed chase, smashing up half of Chicago in the process, with no sign of the cops…until Viktor is side-slammed by a train. He takes on Danko in a running, Texas-style shootout (Danko uses a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum given to him by Ridzik); Viktor is gunned down. Danko returns to Moscow after exchanging wristwatches with Ridzik as an act of goodwill.
REVIEW:
For the longest time, the U.S. and Russia were…well, I don’t want to say enemies, but there were tensions. With the end of the Cold War, Americans were allowed to start filming in Russia. One of the first films to have this honor was Red Heat.
What is this about?
When Viktor (Ed O’Ross), a narcotics kingpin from the USSR, escapes from prison and heads for Chicago, Russia’s brawniest, most fearless and most disciplined police detective (Arnold Schwarzenegger) follows Viktor to the Windy City and teams up with a loud-mouthed American cop (James Belushi). Together, the mismatched, culture-clashing, rule-breaking duo must overcome their differences and attempt to track down the nefarious Viktor.
What did I like?
I love the 80s. Good heavens do I miss the 80s. Here we have an 80s action comedy where we see someone get shot and there is blood splattered everywhere. Same thing could happen today and there will be no blood, but rather a possible bullet hole. Aside from the blood, there are some pretty cool action scenes, but hey, this Schwarzenegger in his prime. Do we really expect less?
Opening. Some people may say that the opening scene doesn’t quite fit with the rest of the film, but I liked it. Again, it shows you how far films have fallen since the 80s. We have a bath house, or at least that’s what I think it is, and there are sweaty guys all over the place. More importantly, there are naked women! All of a sudden, here comes Arnold and next thing you know, he’s fighting some guy out there in the snow!
Cast. I noticed one thing about this cast. There are action stars, such as Schwarzenegger, Laurence Fishburne and comedy stars like Peter Boyle and Jim Belushi, as well as some decent eye candy in Gina Gershon (though she’ll look better in about 10 yrs when Showgirls comes out). I applaud the casting director for the nice mixture. The combination of dynamics really helped the film move along.
What didn’t I like?
Accents. I’m not really well-versed in Russian, but even I could tell that this dialect was far below what it should have been. You would think they’d have found someone who can actually speak the language to be the dialect coach. I guess that’s two languages Arnold has messed up in his career, English and now Russian.
Chicago. Back in the days of MySpace, I wrote a blog about how aliens seem to always target D.C., as opposed to hundred of other large cities in world. Well, foreign criminals seem to have a similar fondness for Chicago. You would think, since these guys are dealing in cocaine, that they would be all about Miami or someplace know more for cocaine, but they head for Chicago. I guess the cold climate made them feel like home? Or they think they could be the next Al Capone?
Villain. This guy Viktor is the film’s antagonist. They build him up so much, you’d think he was the living embodiment of evil. When it comes down to it, though, he just doesn’t seem to fit the bill. As a matter of fact, he looks like nothing more than some guy’s henchman, not a master criminal. I was rather disappointed. I think I had an easier time believing this schlub was able to land a hot chick like Gina Gershon!
Red Heat is a good film for those of us that love 80s action flicks. Now, for those of you that think flicks like these are cheesy and dated, I have but one question for you. Why in the bloody blue hell are you even bothering to read this?!? I won’t highly recommend it, but there is a good time to be had by watching this. Check it out sometime!
The Expendables are deployed to Nepal in order to rescue a Chinese businessman. The team consists of leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), former SAS soldier and blades specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), martial artist Yin Yang (Jet Li), weapons specialist Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture), and snipers Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) and Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth), the group’s youngest and newest member. The mercenaries rescue the businessmen, as well as Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Ross’ rival. Yang accompanies the businessman in his return to China, and temporarily departs from the group.
Ross accepts a mission from Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) to retrieve an item from a safe from an airplane that was shot down in Albania. The team, accompanied by tech genius Maggie (Yu Nan), retrieve the item from the airplane; their victory is short-lived, after discovering that Billy has been captured by Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), who intends to retrieve the item. The Expendables surrender the item, however Vilain executes Billy and leaves. The group bury Billy and swears revenge on Vilain; Maggie reveals the item on the plane was a blueprint to a mine which stores plutonium. Vilain, along with his right-hand man Hector (Scott Adkins), intends to retrieve a large amount of plutonium and sell them.
The team decides to travel to the mines, although the group stops by an abandoned military base where they spend the night. The next morning, the team are ambushed by Vilain’s army, but the army is quickly eliminated by Booker (Chuck Norris) single-handed, who departs the group shortly afterwards. Before departing, Booker informs the group about a nearby village with residents who are against Vilain. As they enter the village, the group discovers a number of armed female villagers who are guarding their children. The women tell the mercenaries that the men of the village have been taken to work at the mine; the miners never return to their families. Eventually, the Sang arrives to take more villagers to work, but the team successfully kills all the Sang, saving the village. The group stages an attack on Vilain through infiltrating the mine by shooting their plane through the caves; the plane is destroyed in the process. Vilain causes a set of explosions that buries the team and the miners underground. After Jensen makes an unsuccessful attempt to detonate a portion of the mine, Trench and Church rescue the mercenaries and the miners trapped in the mine; the miners are reunited with their loved ones from the village.
The Expendables, Trench and Church pursue Vilain to the airport, where Vilain and his men would depart on a private plane with the plutonium. The team, rejoined by Booker, fight their way through the airport. Christmas encounters and eventually decapitates Hector. Ross and Maggie follow Vilain to the hangar, where Ross and Vilain battle. Vilain is eventually strangled and stabbed by Ross, avenging Billy’s death. Church, Maggie, Booker and Trench say their goodbyes to Ross, with Church giving a worn-out airplane to Ross (as a replacement of the team’s destroyed airplane). As the team departs in the plane, the Expendables give a final toast in honor of Billy. The group leaves a large sum of money to Sophia (Nikolette Noel), Billy’s French girlfriend, as well as a picture of Billy and Billy’s final letter to Sophia
REVIEW:
A couple of years ago, everyone scoffed at the idea of a bunch of aging action starts getting together and making a movie. Many thought it was just a way for them to get a paycheck, since Hollywood had apparently passed them by. Well, they went on and laughed all the way to the bank, becauseThe Expendables was a big financial success, proving that not everything needs to be CGI and big budget special effects. Now, we have The Expendables 2…same idea, but with a few of the stars that didn’t or couldn’t be in the first one.
What is it about?
Contrary to popular belief, there is a plot to this film, and it isn’t just a bunch of old guys shooting and blowing up stuff…although, that stuff is very prevalent throughout the picture. The actual storyline, though, is that the guys get hired by Mr. Church to go in and bring back something valuable, we initially don’t know what it is, from a safe in a plane that was shot down in the Chinese mountains. Once they retrieved the package are ready to head home, they are ambushed by a group of vigilante villains. After a tense game of chicken, a team member dies, which leads to the driving force behind the rest of the film, revenge. Along the way to the final showdown, the group helps the town that is being forced to mine plutonium so that the other vigilantes can sell it.
What did I like?
Action. If you’ve ever seen an 80s action flick, then you know that they are all about over the top explosions and bloody gore. Welcome to the 2000s, where the explosions are created by computers more often than not and gore is relegated to horror movies. Thanks goodness someone remembered that the audience wants to see this kind of stuff. Now, if only we can get more of it!
Tone. I’ve heard some people weren’t too happy with the change in tone from the first film, but I actually didn’t mind it. A few jokes among friends don’t hurt. If anything, they make these characters seem more human. Don’t you agree? There is a line that Barney has which really sums it up. It goes something like, “…we keep it light, but when the time comes we go full on dark”[sic].
Start and end with a bang. The best scenes in this film are the opening and closing scenes. Both are just the over-the-top action we expect from this fledgling franchise. These are this kind of scenes with lots of people getting killed, lots of stuff being blown up, and dizzying camera angles.
New blood. Bringing in Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme wasn’t a bad idea, even if Norris made them tone down the language to get a PG-13 rating (the violence knocked it back up to an R). I didn’t miss Mickey Rourke at all. Then again, after watching the first film again yesterday afternoon, he wasn’t really that important.
Know your audience. The audience for this film is mostly guys like me who are fed up with these so-called “action” (read=drama) films of today and they make sure they do everything the right way. I don’t believe this was a 3D film, but I can imagine some studio execs pleaded and begged for it to have been. I can’t say how glad I am to not have to have been forced to shell out the case for some rental sunglasses just to see some half-ass 3D effects that really don’t look any different from 2D.
Friendship. There is a scene where the guys are sitting around trying to relax from the day and it is just like some old friends reminiscing. They even have some fun with the “new guy”. This is not only the funniest scene of the movie, but it serves to develop the bond between the characters that we didn’t get in the first film, save for Barney and Christmas, who is actually not involved it.
Villain. Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to his starring form with his role as the villainous Villain (pronounced vil-lain). This guy seems to be cold, calculating, and everything you would expect from a villain of today. He demands and commands respect and murders without a second thought. Then there is the fact that he can go toe to toe with Stallone. Just wait until you see that!
What didn’t I like.
Girl, please. When this film started, I was thinking to myself, we have this group of 80s action guy stars, but what about a group of women? No sooner than I finished that thought, do we get introduced to the character of Maggie. Throughout the film, you can tell there is tension between her and Stallone, and I’m not just talking about the sexual tension. As a character, she isn’t bad, but a woman doesn’t belong in this group. It just doesn’t work.
Asian connection. Jet Li kicks more ass in the 10 minutes or so he’s on the screen this time around than he did in all of the last picture. OK, maybe that’s a bit of a an exaggeration, but he does seemingly disappear and never comes back or is mentioned for the rest of the picture. Coincidentally, the “help” that Church brings in is Asian. I can’t help but think there was a reason behind this ethnic casting.
Jason. I’m a huge Jason Statham fan and, personal bias aside, I have to say that it sort of felt like he was relegated to the role of the sidekick this time around. He even bitches about it when he has to go back and get the truck. If not for the scene in the church and his fight with Van Damme’s right hand man, you’d really wonder why he wasn’t utilised more.
Young blood and nearly silent. Aside from Li, there were two other things about the cast that bothered me. First, there is the early death of Liam Hemsworth’s character. I was initially questioning his casting instead of his brother, Chris, but since they killed him off so fast, I guess it makes sense. I have to wonder, especially if they’re talking of making this a real franchise, why they would kill the newest and youngest member, especially since he’s such a crack shot. Granted, his death serves as motivation for the rest of the film, it just seemed like they could have used someone else, like say, Toll Road. Randy Couture’s character is there, but he has little, if anything, to say. I believe he may have 5 or 10 lines throughout the entire film. They could have given him something else to do!
Arnold. After his years as governor of California, it is good to see Arnold getting back into the acting thing. There was even a trailer with hims starring in his own film, so he’s at least picking back up where he left off. The problem here, though, is that his one-liners are as bad they were in Batman & Robin. I can’t give him a pass for being rusty on this one. He needs to do better, and the writers should be ashamed for having him constantly recite such drivel!
The Expendables 2 is a damn fun, good time to be had. A true nostalgic picture than makes you wonder why they don’t make films that are truly fun anymore. I want you, though, if you’re looking for something cerebral and artsy-fartsy, this is not the film for you. This is a film for those of us that actually want to be entertained when we go to the movies! With the summer movie season coming to a close, this is the perfect film to wrap it up and may end up being a sleeper hit, at least on this blog, come the end of the year awards. I highly recommend that you stop reading this and head to your nearest theater and go see this right now!
Gynecologist Dr. Alex Hesse (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has a nightmare about urinating infants in a library. In the real world, he and his colleague Dr. Larry Arbogast (Danny DeVito) have invented a fertility drug, “Expectane”, that is supposed to reduce the chances of a woman’s body rejecting an embryo and thus prevent a miscarriage. Unfortunately, they are not allowed to test it on women since the Food and Drug Administration has not yet approved the drug; so Hesse and Arbogast move forward in their research. In response, Hesse breaks into the laboratory and locks himself in. The head of the review board, Noah Banes, informs Arbogast that while the FDA has denied their team the right of human experimentation, the team has managed to receive a donation by Dr. Diana Reddin (Emma Thompson) from the ovum cryogenics department. When Hesse questions the chances of a woman taking an unapproved drug during pregnancy, Arbogast reveals that there is no need to identify the gender of the experiment and convinces Hesse to impregnate himself, using an ovum codenamed “Junior”.
That night, Hesse has another nightmare in which his potential offspring has his own face pasted onto it. That day, he complains to Arbogast that his nipples are hurting him. Later, the normally aloof Hesse inexplicably lightens up and chats incessantly about walks, massages, and naps. Reddin tells Hesse that being a woman is not as great as it sounds, citing the menstrual cycles which do not stop until menopause, while Arbogast warns Hesse of a disease that is turning men into strudels. Meanwhile, Arbogast’s pregnant ex-wife wants him to be the doctor delivering her baby. Hesse begins to wonder what it would be like to be a father and watches some television commercials to have himself a good sobbing. He later begins overeating, with Arbogast’s ex-wife noting his practice of “mixing cuisines”. It is revealed that the “Junior” ovum is actually Reddin’s own body, making her the mother of Hesse’s child. Banes wants to take credit for the experiment despite having no role in it. Arbogast disguises Hesse as a woman and hides him in a retreat for expecting mothers outside the city, passing off his masculine appearance as past anabolic steroid use. Eventually, Hesse goes into labor (as does Arbogast’s ex-wife) and gives birth via caesarean section to a baby girl naming her Junior. Arbogast delivers his ex-wife’s child and the two reconcile to raise their new son as their own. Before the credits, it shows the two families on a beach on vacation celebrating the birthdays of Junior and Jake (Arbogast and his ex-wife’s son), we discover that Reddin is pregnant and when the credits are rolling, they are all playing in the sea.
REVIEW:
Following up on the success of Twins, some studio exec had the brilliant idea to reunite Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito because they had such great chemistry. The idea is not a bad one, but one would think they could come up with a better film than this.
First off, this is not necessarily a bad plot, but the whole thing about a guy being pregnant just is not an interesting one. Of course, this is the second time I’ve seen this kind of thing today, the first being that episode of The Cosby Show where all the mean dream they drank something and got pregnant.
So, let get to what didn’t work…
Frank Langella, who is normally known as a creepy villain character actor, wasn’t really that intimidating, even though his character seemed to call for some kind of creepy, intimidation factor.
The pregnancy thing wasn’t really that convincing. Schwarzenegger is a big guy, but that little pregnancy belly he was sporting seemed to be nothing more than a pillow they stuck under his shirt. I know these people could have done better than that!
The good…
Emma Thompson plays this clumsy, almost absent-minded scientist that comes in and eventually falls for Schwarzenegger’s character. Seeing the two of them together made no sense, and yet, at the same time they made a cute couple.
The chemistry Arnold and DeVito had in Twins resurfaces here, showing why they were chosen to star in this thing.
Pamela Reed was a bit of an ancillary character for a good chunk of the film, but when the time came for her to step up, just like she did in Kindergarten Cop, you’re sure to remember she’s in here.
The scientific mumbo jumbo seems to be well-researched. If it wasn’t, then they sure went through a lot of trouble to make it believable.
There really isn’t much to say about this film. It is one of those films that was made to capitalize on a surprise comedy duo. However, there are those that have called this the worst movie of all time. No, I don’t believe it is that bad. It actually isn’t bad, but rather just an average film. This is one of those films that you can either take or leave. Trust me, if you never see it, you can still have a clear conscious. On the other hand if you do decide to give it a shot, then its just another film that you can say you’ve seen.
Conan the Barbarian is a film about a young barbarian’s quest to avenge his parents’ deaths. The story is set in the fictional Hyborian Age, thousands of years before the rise of modern civilization. The film opens with the words, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”, a paraphrasing of Friedrich Nietzsche,on a black screen followed by a voice-over that establishes the film as the story of Conan’s origin. “A burst of drums and trumpets” accompanies the forging of a sword, after which the scene shifts to a mountain top, where the swordsmith tells his young son Conan about the Riddle of Steel, an aphorism on the importance of the metal to their people, the Cimmerians.
The Cimmerians are massacred by a band of warriors led by Thulsa Doom. Conan’s father is killed by dogs, and his sword is taken by Doom to decapitate Conan’s mother. The children are taken into slavery; Conan is chained to a large mill, the Wheel of Pain. Years of pushing the huge grindstone build up his muscles. His master trains him to be a gladiator, and after winning many pit fights, Conan is freed. As he wanders the world, he encounters a witch and befriends Subotai, a thief and archer.
Following the witch’s advice, Conan and Subotai go to Shadizar, in the land of Zamora, to seek out Doom. They meet Valeria, a female brigand, who becomes Conan’s lover. They burgle the Tower of Serpents, stealing a large jewel—the Eye of the Serpent—and other valuables from Doom’s snake cult. After escaping with their loot, the thieves celebrate and end up in a drunken stupor. The city guards capture them and bring them to King Osric. He requests they rescue his daughter, who has joined Doom’s cult. Subotai and Valeria do not want to take up the quest; Conan, motivated by his hatred for Doom, sets off alone to the villain’s Temple of Set.
Disguised as a priest, Conan infiltrates the temple, but he is discovered, captured, and tortured. Doom lectures him on the power of flesh, which he demonstrates by compelling a girl to leap to her death. He then orders Conan crucified on the Tree of Woe. The barbarian is on the verge of death when he is discovered by Subotai and brought to the Wizard of the Mounds, who lives on a burial site for warriors and kings.The wizard summons spirits to heal Conan and warns that they will “extract a heavy toll”, which Valeria is willing to pay. These spirits also try to abduct Conan, but he is restored to health after Valeria and Subotai fend them off.
Subotai and Valeria agree to complete Osric’s quest with Conan and they infiltrate the Temple of Set. As the cult indulges in a cannibalistic orgy, the thieves attack and flee with the princess. Valeria is mortally wounded by Doom after he shoots a stiffened snake at her. She dies in Conan’s arms and is cremated at the Mounds, where Conan prepares with Subotai and the wizard to battle Doom. By using booby-traps and exploiting the terrain, they manage to kill Doom’s soldiers. Valeria reappears for a brief moment as a Valkyrie to save Conan from a mortal blow.Conan recovers his father’s sword during the fight, although its blade is broken. After losing his men, Doom shoots a stiffened snake at the princess. Subotai blocks the shot and the villain flees to his temple.
Conan sneaks back into the temple where Doom stands at the top of a long stairway, addressing the members of his cult. Conan confronts Doom, who attempts to mesmerize him, but the barbarian resists and uses his father’s sword to behead his nemesis. After throwing Doom’s head down the stairs, Conan burns down the temple. He returns the princess, and the final scene shows him as an old king; the narration says his road to the throne is another tale
REVIEW:
The film that introduced the film world to Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan the Barbarian, is actually better than what I expected it to be. That being said, this is still one of those mindless Saturday afternoon action flicks.
First thing I should mention is that there really isn’t much dialogue, except for in pockets to explain what it going on. So, while this is no Caveman, the lack of speaking in remnant of the first half of Wall-E.
There was a remake of this that came out this summer, and apparently didn’t do too well, but quite honestly, I don’t see why anyone would want to remake this. Most remakes are done to update references, or make something bloodier/more violent. There are no pop culture references here, at least that I picked up on, and the film is plenty bloody, albeit a tad on the fake side, but come on, it was 1982!
I didn’t really get the story here. I mean, it basically is Conan setting out to find the man who killed his father and along the way he becomes a thief and has to steal a king’s daughter back from, coincidentally, his father’s murderer.
What’s not to get about that? Well, it isn’t so much the plot itself, as much as it is the way the film is edited. Just when it seems like they were going to settle down and tell the story, they jump to something else totally different. It was like when you’re in school and ask a question to your teacher. They start out giving you an answer, then go on some other tangent, which leads to another, then another, and 15 minutes later they make it back to your question, just in time for the bell to ring.
Luckily, however, this is an action flick, and it doesn’t fail to deliver on that front. I could have done with some epic battles, but there was just something about this that reminded me of those old Sinbad movies, especially when it involved the snake.
Speaking of the snake, the special effects aren’t too bad, especially when one considers when this was released. You can’t get much better than that. On the flipside, however, the ghosts or souls or spirits or whatever those were during the death scene about halfway through looked like nothing more than some random strain of smoke from dry ice. If that was the intention, then fine, but I don’t think it was. They could have done better, if you ask me.
So, what is my final verdict on Conan the Barbarian? Well, it isn’t a bad film, but it does have its share of issues. The main reason to see this is the action and that it is the big screen debut of Schwrazenegger. I do recommend this, especially before you waste your time on the remake.
Let's All Go to the Movies!!!! 