Splitting Heirs

PLOT:

The movie centres on the aristocratic family of the Dukes of Bournemouth (England), upon which misfortune has befallen throughout history, leading it to believe itself cursed. The most recent heir, Thomas Henry Butterfly Rainbow Peace, was left in a restaurant as an infant in the 1960s, by the time his parents remembered him, he had disappeared. Meanwhile, in the 1990s, Tommy Patel (Eric Idle) has grown up in an Asian/Indian family in Southall, never doubting his ethnicity despite being taller than anyone else in the house, fair-haired, blue-eyed, light-skinned – and not liking curry. From the family corner-shop he commutes to the City, where he works for the Bournemouth family’s stockbroking firm, handling multimillion-pound deals.

He is given the job of acting as host to the visiting American representative of the firm, Henry Bullock (Rick Moranis), who turns out to be the son of the head of the firm, the present Duke; they become friends, and the friendship survives Henry’s becoming the new Duke when his father dies. Circumstantial evidence shows that the true Bournemouth heir is actually Tommy, we see a series of family portraits each of which captures something of Tommy’s facial characteristics, and his Indian mother tells him the story of his adoption. He consults the lawyer who dealt with his adoption, Raoul P. Shadgrind (John Cleese), who says Tommy has no hope of proving his claim, but plants the idea of him obtaining his rightful place in the family by getting Henry out of the way; Shadgrind himself then engineers a variety of ‘accidents’ in the belief that he will share in the spoils as Tommy’s partner. The delightfully complicated love interest comes with Tommy’s and Henry’s (shared at the same time) lover, later the new Duchess (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and their (shared at different times) mother, the dowager Duchess (Barbara Hershey). As befits a classic comedy of errors, the final resolution of everyone’s doubts and misconceptions leaves everyone living “happily ever after – well, for a bit, at least…”

REVIEW:

As a lover of the Monty Python comedy troupe, I’m always looking for other works they’ve done, if for no other reason than to see how they have grown as entertainers since those days. With Splitting Heirs, there is a chance to see Eric Idle (and a little bit of John Cleese) do a little comedic film on their own.

What is this about?

Eric Idle and John Cleese team up in this farce about a lowly bank employee who tries to claim the noble title that is his birthright. Seems there was a switcheroo when Tommy was born, and Tommy was inadvertently substituted with an American baby by his drug-addled mom, the Duchess of Bournemouth. What’s worse, the would-be duke just happens to be Tommy’s best friend, and the Duchess (who’s clueless about Tommy’s real identity) is hot for him!

What did I like?

Brothers. I have to give props to the casting director. Eric Idle and Rick Moranis could pass for long-lost brothers that grew up in different environments. Sure, no one would mistake them for real-life brothers, but remember that this is just a film. The chemistry between the two of them is also something to behold. Sometimes we forget how much of a funnyman Rick Moranis is, I think, since he usually plays lovable losers and sometimes the straight man.

Funny ha ha. As you can imagine when you have a cast of comedians, there are quite a few funny moments. The first half of this film, as well as the scenes with John Cleese are sure to have you rolling on the floor laughing and asking for more. That is not to deny the women in this film, either. Barbara Hershey’s overly slutty character will have you chuckling and/or feeling uncomfortable as you watch her seduce her son.

What didn’t I like?

Forgettable. I hate to say this, but there just is nothing memorable about this film. By the time the credits finish rolling, then you’ll be wondering what happened 10 minutes ago in what you just watched, which is really a shame, but blame the fact that so many similar (and better executed) films have been released that make this seem just plain and humdrum.

Curse. In the opening, we get some info on the Bournemouth curse but, for the rest of the film, it is all but forgotten, save for a couple of mentions in passing. Now, personally, I feel that they could have done more with the curse, both in terms of plot and comedy. Why they didn’t explore it a bit more, is beyond me, other than maybe they didn’t want to turn this into some sort of horror/thriller, perhaps.

Splitting Heirs is a film I selected because I just wanted something funny. Certain people in this house prefer the heavy dramas, so it is nice to get an escape into hilarity. This could have been funnier, yes, but it accomplished what I got it for. Now, having said that, I won’t go so far as to say it is a good film, but there are so many things that it could have done worse and made itself into a bad film. So, do I recommend this? Not really, I found this to be average at best, but it does have some moments. Unfortunately, there are also plot pints that were merely touched on and never expanded upon and that is what hurts this more than anything. So, check this out if you want, but don’t expect greatness.

3 out of 5 stars

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

PLOT:

In 1462, Vlad Dracula (Gary Oldman), a member of the Order of the Dragon, returns from a victory against the Turks to find his wife Elisabeta (Winona Ryder) had committed suicide after hearing false reports of his death. Enraged at the notion of his wife being eternally damned as a suicide, Dracula desecrates his chapel and renounces God, declaring that he will rise from the grave to avenge Elisabeta with all the powers of darkness.

In 1897, law clerk Jonathan Harker (Keanu Reeves) takes the Transylvanian Count Dracula over as a client from his colleague R.M. Renfield (Tom Waits), who has gone insane. Jonathan travels to Transylvania to arrange the formalities of Dracula’s real estate acquisition in London, including Carfax Abbey. Jonathan meets Dracula, a wrinkled, pale old man (Oldman) inhabiting a bizarre castle. During the signing of the papers, the Count discovers a picture of Harker’s fiancée, Mina (Ryder), and is astonished to find that she is the reincarnation of Elisabeta. Dracula leaves Jonathan to be seduced by his brides (Monica Bellucci, Michaela Bercu, and Florina Kendrick) and sails to England with boxes of his native soil, taking up residence at Carfax Abbey. His arrival is foretold by the ravings of Renfield, now an inmate in Dr. Jack Seward’s (Richard E. Grant) neighboring lunatic asylum.

In London, Dracula emerges as a werewolf-like creature amid a fierce thunderstorm and hypnotically seduces, then rapes and bites, Lucy Westenra (Sadie Frost), with whom Mina is staying while Jonathan is in Transylvania. Lucy’s deteriorating health and behavioral changes prompts Lucy’s former love-interests Quincey Morris (Billy Campbell) and Dr. Seward, along with her fiancée, Arthur Holmwood (Cary Elwes), to summon Dr. Abraham Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins), who during a blood transfusion recognizes Lucy as the victim of a vampire. Dracula, now young and handsome, meets and charms Mina. However, when Mina gets word from Jonathan, who has escaped the castle and recovered at a convent, she travels to Hungary to marry him. In his heartbroken fury, Dracula transforms Lucy into a vampire. Van Helsing, Holmwood, Seward, and Morris kill Lucy to stop her undead suffering, and save her from eternal damnation.

As Jonathan and Mina return to London, Jonathan and Van Helsing lead the others to Carfax Abbey, where they destroy the Count’s boxes of soil. Dracula enters the asylum, where he kills Renfield for warning Mina of his presence, and visits Mina, who is staying in Seward’s quarters while the others hunt Dracula. Dracula confesses that he murdered Lucy and has been terrorizing Mina’s friends, but a confused and angry Mina admits that she still loves him and now remembers her old life as Elisabeta. At her insistence, Dracula begins to transform her into a vampire. The vampire hunters burst into the bedroom, with Dracula claiming Mina as his bride before escaping by changing into thousands of rats. As Mina begins changing the same way Lucy had, Van Helsing hypnotizes her and learns via her connection with Dracula that he is sailing home in his last remaining box. The Hunters depart for the port of Varna to intercept him, but Dracula reads Mina’s mind and evades them. The Hunters split up, with Van Helsing and Mina traveling to the Borgo Pass and the Castle, while the others try to stop the Gypsies transporting the Count.

At night, Van Helsing and Mina are approached by Dracula’s brides. They frighten Mina at first, but she gives into their chanting and attempts to seduce Van Helsing. Before Mina can feed on his blood he places a communion wafer upon her forehead, leaving a mark. He proceeds to surround them with a ring of fire to protect them from the brides. In the morning, he infiltrates the castle and decapitates them. As sunset approaches, Dracula’s carriage appears on the horizon, pursued by the hunters, and arrives at the castle. A fight between the hunters and gypsies ensues and at sunset Dracula bursts from his coffin. Harker slits his throat while a wounded Morris stabs him in the heart. As Dracula staggers, Mina rushes to his defense. Holmwood tries to attack but Van Helsing and Harker allow her to retreat with the Count, turning instead to Morris, who dies surrounded by his friends.

In the same chapel where he renounced God centuries earlier, Dracula lies dying, now in an ancient demonic form. He asks Mina to give him peace, by stabbing the sword through his heart. They share a final kiss, as the candles adorning the chapel miraculously light in God’s presence, and the hole in the cross heals itself. Mina shoves the knife through his heart. The mark on her forehead disappears as Dracula’s curse is lifted, as well as Elisabeta’s soul. She then decapitates him and gazes up at the fresco of Vlad and Elisabeta ascending to Heaven together. Mina is then finally free.

REVIEW:

 Previous film incarnations of the vampire have all been loosely rooted in Bram Stoker’s novel, but Bram Stoker’s Dracula is taken straight from the pages.

With all the vampire stuff that is flying around out there today, not to mention the fact that Halloween is next week, it seemed like the perfect time to watch this film. Not to mention the fact that I had the chance to watch the Bela Lugosi version of Dracula yesterday.

I could compare the two films until the cows come home, but what point would that serve? They are like peaches and apricots. There are similarities, bt ultimately, they are different.

The plot here goes a bit more into the history of Dracula, such as how he renounced God and started drinking blood. Also, they mention that it is only a myth that he couldn’t go out during the day, though they are weak during the day.

We all know about vampires turning into bats and exuding all types of sexual charisma, but have you ever heard about them turning into a wolf or smoke? That is something else that is mentioned in this version that the other’s leave out.

The plot here moves along at a fairly brisk pace, but there is a bit of disconnect when it comes to Keanu Reeves’ character, Jonathan Harker. After he escapes from the castle, he is suddenly gray-haired. Can you honestly tell me that the beautiful brides who were all over him made him gray? I don’t know about you, but if 3 beautiful women were crawling all over me like they were him, I’d let them do what they want.

The cast is great, but it is Gary Oldman who really sells the film. He is great as the younger version of Dracula. You can feel his pain in the beginning of the film when he is Vlad (not quite sure what was up with the way that armor was designed, though), and he outshines everyone as the old Count Dracula.

Keanu Reeves is everything you expect from him.

Winona Ryder is beautiful as ever, though she puts me in mind of Keirra Knightley in this role for some reason. I think it might be because of the way she moves her mouth or something.

Anthony Hopkins seemed to be nothing more than a narrator at first, but a little more than halfway through the film he comes in as Van Helsing and, well, he’s Anthony Hopkins, need I say more?

Look for appearances by Cary Elwes, Billy Campbell, and a young Monica Bellucci, as well.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula is not my choice for favorite Dracula picture, but that is because I’m such a fan of the classics sch as the aforementioned Bela Lugosi version, as well as the black and white silent film, Nosferatu. This is still a great piece of cinema. Watch it and you will definitely have a better understanding of the undead, something you won’t get from watching those crappy Twilight films. I highly recommend this to everyone, especially at this time of year!

4 out of 5 stars