As a massive asteroid hurtles toward Earth, NASA’s head honcho hatches a plan to split the deadly rock in two before it annihilates the entire planet, calling on the world’s finest oil driller to head up the mission.
What people are saying:
“Just when you think you’ve had it with this movie, there comes a farcical, rock ‘n’ roll sort of comedy sequence, or a hilariously goofy line.” 3 stars
“Yes, it’s big. It’s stupid. It’s also completely kick butt. A true adventure film, Armageddon takes you by the throat and won’t let go. For as silly as the script seems, I dare you not to be on the edge of your seat during the tense moments or touched by the admittedly sappy sentimentalism later in the flick. There are too many moments here that are full of sheer joy not to watch this again.” 5 stars
“Now I love movies, I really enjoy action movies, but this….Oh my! This IS one of the worst movies of all times. Mindbogglingly dumb, full of cliches and a meaningless ending. Why so many people adore this waste of time and money, I’ll never understand.
A typical Bay-affair. Still waiting for him to just release a movie with 90 minutes of just explosions!” 1/2 star
“Yeah, gotta go with five stars for this one. Yes, it unashamedly goes for the heartstrings, yes the song is cornball, and yes, it’s full of cliches and REALLY bad science. It’s also action-packed, full of humor, loads of fun, and if you don’t cry at the end, you’re probably not human. This one and Twister are my two favorite cornball ‘disaster’ movies.” 5 stars
“NASA decides to recruit and train a courageous group of drillers to save Earth from a large asteroid. A List movie stars-Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck, Billy Bob Thornton, Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson, and a great movie soundtrack “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith. Despite the movie having a very serious plot, some characters provide comic relief including Rockhound, Bear, Lev Andropov, and Oscar Choi. One subplot is the conflict between Harry, Harry’s daughter Grace, and AJ (Grace’s boyfriend) which eventually gets resolved. This movie has great footage of NASA’s spacesuits, equipment, rigorous training facilities/program, control center, and space shuttles. It also has superb special effects of the smaller asteroids striking Earth, the team traveling through space to land on the asteroid, and the team on the asteroid. Once arriving in space, the team appears jinxed facing one unexpected challenge or tragedy after the next leading to the courageous climax of the movie that will make viewers cry. This movie has a strong plot and subplot, excellent character choices, is well written to touch the heart and emotions of viewers, and has amazing special effects making you feel like you are there with the team. Most people would not have enough courage to do what this team did in outer space to save Earth.” 5 stars
An unnamed gunslinger, referred to as The Lady, enters the Old West town of Redemption circa 1881 where she enters a single elimination gunfighting contest held by Redemption’s ruthless leader, John Herod, a former outlaw. She meets Cort, a former Herod henchman turned reverend, whom Herod captures and forces to enter the contest; and Fee, also known as “The Kid,” a brash young gun shop owner who hopes to impress Herod, whom he believes to be his father, by winning the contest. Though now a preacher, Cort is an amazingly fast and talented gunfighter, and the only man that Herod truly respects and fears. Herod covers this by treating Cort cruelly, denying him water, beating him and keeping him chained to an old fountain.
In the first round of duels, The Kid defeats a Swedish quick-draw champion, while Herod kills braggart Ace Hanlon, who had taken credit for some of Herod’s own accomplishments. The Lady defeats an old enemy she left shackled to a wagon, while Cort defeats one of Herod’s men who thought he was getting an easy kill. Herod later learns that the townspeople have secretly hired a bounty hunter, Clay Cantrell, to enter the contest and kill him. The next day, Herod declares that all remaining duels must be to the death, then kills Cantrell when the two face off against one another. Herod angrily informs the townspeople that since they had enough money to hire Cantrell, he will raise their taxes. Later that day, during a rainstorm, the Lady duels and guns down a competitor who has sexually abused the bartender’s young daughter.
Flashbacks reveal that The Lady’s true name is Ellen, and she had grown up in Redemption, where her father was the town’s Marshal. One day Herod and his men invaded the town, killed all the deputies and tied her father to the gallows. Herod gave Ellen a gun and offered to let her shoot the rope and free him. However, she missed and killed her father instead. Seeking revenge, she has come to Redemption with the intent of killing Herod. However, an uncomfortable dinner date with Herod leaves Ellen unsure about whether or not she can go through with it and she attempts to flee. She then reunites with the town’s local doctor, Wallace, who was also her father’s best friend. The old man convinces her to return to Redemption and free the town from Herod.
With Ellen, Cort, Herod and The Kid left as the four remaining contestants, Kid challenges Herod to a duel to win his respect. Although Herod and the Kid both injure each other with bullet wounds, Kid’s wounds prove fatal and he dies in Ellen’s arms. Herod is saddened by the Kid’s death, but does not publicly acknowledge the Kid as his son. When Ellen and Cort are forced to face each other, they refuse to open fire and Cort only shoots Ellen after Herod threatens to kill them both. Cort furiously challenges Herod to a duel the next day, but seconds before their duel, Ellen suddenly reappears after using the Kid’s stolen dynamite to blow up Herod’s illegitimate business establishments. She and Cort had faked her death with help from Wallace and a blind salesman.
In the confusion, Cort dispatches Herod’s men while Ellen goes on to fight Herod. Although Herod outdraws and shoots Ellen in the arm, she shoots him in the chest and finishes him once and for all with a well-aimed gunshot to the eye. With Herod gone and the law restored, Cort becomes the new Marshal of the town as Ellen rides off into the sunset.
REVIEW:
Sometimes, there are genres that seem to do nothing but repeat themselves over and over again, such as with westerns. In this case, someone needs to come in and do something different, or at least attempt it, no matter what the financial result will be. The Quick and the Dead is a film that takes such a chance.
What is this about?
In this offbeat Western, a lady gunslinger arrives in a frontier town seeking revenge for the murder of her sheriff father by town boss John Herod.
What did I like?
Tournament. Maybe it is the fact that I love fighting like Mortal Kombat so much (until I get bored with fighting the same guys over and over again), or maybe it is the March Madness thing that is going on right now, but I am a sucker for a good tournament. In a stroke of genius, someone decided that it would be a good idea to use gunfighters instead of martial artists in a tournament. While the execution of said tournament isn’t flawless, I can appreciate it. Really, how many of us have thought of a tournament of our favorite gangsters, heroes, villains, etc. This is the same concept, just using gunmen from this, universe, if you will.
Lady Stone. What’s this?!? A female lone gunman that seems to be the hero of the film? Say it ain’t so! Believe it or not, Sharon Stone is the star of this picture. Much like Clint Eastwood’s character in the “Man with no name trilogy”, we don’t know much about her at first, other than she has a hero side to her and knows her way around a pistol. When I think about it, all westerns, with the exception of Bandidas, use women as housewives, whores, eye candy, and/or some kind of sidekick. Stone, who was still riding high from Basic Instinct 3 or 4 years earlier, would have been perfect for a more feminine part, but she took a chance as a lead, standing toe to toe with the big boys. I don’t think she did too bad a job, myself.
Not a Hack…man. Gene Hackman is at his finest villain role here, perhaps even better than Lex Luthor in Superman II. He plays an outlaw gunman who has apparently killed the local lawman and taken over the town, ruling it with fear tactics and taxing them into poverty. In other words, this guy is just plain evil. Having said that, though, one does get the sense he has a sense of honor about him. In the last two rounds of the tournament he faces a young Leonardo DiCaprio, who is rumored, but not confirmed to be his son. The rest of the film he kills on sight, without the slightest bit of hesitation, but with DiCaprio, he does everything he can to keep from killing his possible son. The following round, he faces his former henchman, played by a young Russel Crowe. The previous night, one of Hackman’s cronies does some sort of damage to Crowe’s hand and, sensing that it won’t be a fair fight, he offers to use his other hand to even the odds. It really is quite the twist in a character who seems to be as villainous as they come, but there is a heart in there, somewhere.
What didn’t I like?
Paternity. DiCaprio’s “The Kid” character is similar to many of the character he was playing at this point in his career, brash, cocky, headstrong, etc. It isn’t until he decides to challenge Hackman that we get a sense of humility from him as he tells Stone that he wants to prove himself to his father. All this is well and good, but I didn’t get the emotional weight that I feel it deserved. Had this angle been played up more, perhaps the result of that fight would have been more of a, pardon the term, shot in the gut.
Stone. I give Sharon Stone all the props in the world for being a female lead in gun fighting western. However, I just don’t buy her character. Obviously, the makeup department did all they could to “ugly” up Stone’s beauty, and the wardrobe department kept her looking very unisex, but there is still something too feminine about her. If this were made today, I would cast someone like Michelle Rodriguez or maybe Charlize Theron. Both have proven they don’t take crap from anyone, and also have shown to be able to fit into a man’s world the way this character needs to be able to do. Stone didn’t sell that to me, I’m sorry to say. In the last scene, it was like they gave up trying, put her in tight leather pants, let her hair down, and borderline made her sexy. WTF?!?
Mustache. This is a very small complaint, but Keith David’s character, who was almost non-existent, had the typical old-west moustache, but it looked a bit on the cartoony side of things. I half expected him to start twirling it! It was very distracting, especially for a character that didn’t have much to do. What were they thinking with this, I wonder?
To sum up, The Quick and the Dead is probably one of the more underrated westerns out there. Is it on the level of the great ones from the 60s? No, but it is a decent watch. I say give this one a shot, even if you’re not a fan of the genre. Surely there will be something that you can latch on to. Check it out!
Reggie the Turkey has always been afraid of Thanksgiving because turkeys have always been on the menu, but his attempts to warn his farm-based flock constantly fall on deaf ears and has made him an outcast. When the other turkeys finally realize what is going on, they throw Reggie outside in an attempt to save themselves. In a surprise twist of fate, he winds up being named the “pardoned turkey” by the President of the United States and is subsequently taken to Camp David. Although initially hesitant, Reggie soon eases into a routine of doing nothing but enjoying pizza delivered to him by the “Pizza Dude” and watching Mexican telenovelas.
About three days before Thanksgiving, Reggie gets bag-kidnapped by Jake, the president and the only member of the Turkeys Liberation Front. Jake tells him that a “Great Turkey” told him to find Reggie and take him back to the first Thanksgiving with him to take turkeys off the menu once and for all. They then infiltrate the base where a time machine is located. Despite interference by federal officials and several attempts by Reggie to trick him back to the surface, Jake manages to commandeer an egg-shaped time machine with an A.I. software named S.T.E.V.E. and they time-travel back to the same day in 1621, three days before the first Thanksgiving. Once there, they are immediately attacked and separated by colonial hunters led by Myles Standish. Reggie and Jake are quickly rescued by native turkeys led by Chief Broadbeak and his two children, Ranger and Jenny, the latter of whom Reggie immediately falls for.
Broadbeak explains that the turkeys in the area have been forced underground since the settlers came and that they cannot risk fighting back without the settlers taking them. The next day, Broadbeak orders Jake and Ranger to spy on the settlers and Reggie and Jenny to spring all the hunting traps the humans set up. Despite initial hostility, Ranger and Jake find out that the settlers have already begun preparations for Thanksgiving as well as where they keep their weapons. Meanwhile, Jenny, who believes Reggie is lying about being from the future, is impressed with his accidental unorthodox way of springing the traps. However, they are soon intercepted by Standish and Reggie is forced to get her in orbit over the planet aboard S.T.E.V.E., validating everything he said in the process. Reggie convinces Jenny to go back to the future with him once everything blows over, but she refuses to leave the flock no matter how much she likes him. Jake then drags Reggie away and tells him he has a plan to attack the settlers. However, Reggie has gotten sick of all his unapproved stories and threatens to leave.
Desperate, Jake tells him that this trip was more about him making up for his failure to save turkey eggs while escaping a turkey-fattening facility when he was young, maintaining that the Great Turkey convinced him to go through with this. While still reluctant to believe what he said, Reggie still goes along with the plan. They manage to use gunpowder to destroy the weapons shack, but Jake inadvertently leaves a gunpowder trail back to the tree the turkeys are hiding under. Standish and his men flush the turkeys out from underground, capturing enough for the feast and killing Broadbeak in the ensuing panic. Jenny is sworn in as the new chief and orders the remaining turkeys to prepare an attack on the settlers.
Despite Jake’s attempts to get him to stay, a heartbroken Reggie heads back to the present. Once back at Camp David, Reggie is confronted by three future versions of himself. Through the awkward conversation, Reggie discovers from one of them that he is the Great Turkey, having used S.T.E.V.E. to throw his voice and appearance. Inspired, Reggie goes back in time to stop the attack, erasing Standish from history in the process. Through S.T.E.V.E. and the Pizza Dude, Reggie convinces the settlers and the arriving Indians that pizza is a more acceptable food than turkeys, taking them off the Thanksgiving menu entirely. In the end, Reggie decides to stay with Jenny while Jake takes S.T.E.V.E. in order to look for new adventures. However, Jake returns moments after leaving and implies to Reggie and Jenny that he needs help putting an end to the turducken.
REVIEW:
You know, now that I think about it, there really aren’t many movies about turkeys and/or Thanksgiving, of note, except for that Charlie Brown special. Back in the day, it seemed liked everyone had one, but these days, not so much. I believe that is why Free Birds even exists, to fill the void that the younger generations don’t know exists.
What is this about?
After years of fruitless warning of his farmyard brethren of the coming Thanksgiving doom, Reggie the Turkey finds himself spared as the annual Pardoned Turkey. However, Reggie’s easy life is disrupted by Jake, a fanatic turkey who drags him along with the insane idea of going back in time to make sure turkeys are not part of the first Thanksgiving. Through foolhardiness and luck, the pair manage to take an experimental time machine to do just that. Now in 1621 at the Plymouth colony, Reggie and Jake find themselves in the middle of a turkey clan’s struggle for survival. In doing so, their preconceptions of the world and themselves are challenged forever in a conflict from which the world will never be the same.
What did I like?
Pardon me. Every year, one turkey is given the honor of being pardoned by the President of the United States. What this does is basically grant said turkey a stay of execution for a year, let’s not sugarcoat what it is. The creative force behind this flick was smart enough to take this concept and run with it. Not only do they take said and turkey and show him living the life inside the White House, but they take the time to show the audience that humans can’t tell one turkey from the other. Is it just me, or do those guards in the hazmat suits look like they came from the set of Monsters, Inc.
Someone actually had a thought! Take a minute and think of all the films that have been released in the past year or so. Aside from sequels and comic book films, how many were actually original? For me, I think there may have been one or two, but that’s it. The rest all fall into the unfortunate category of reboots/remakes. Ugh! This seemed like it was going to be just another kiddie flick, but in reality, it deserves some praise for having an inspired, original script, which is something we don’t run across very often. Whether you love or hate this film, one think that can be said it that it is fin.
Oh My! In the last year or so, George Takei has become a huge star, at least for now. In a nod to his past on Star Trek, it was rather funny to see/hear him as the voice of the time traveling space ship, S.T.E.V.E. Takei’s trademark humor are included well, as we see that the ship is a character on its own…arguably a better character than the birds!
What didn’t I like?
Owen. Once again, we have Owen Wilson voicing a rather pathetic character who somehow manages to develop a backbone, conveniently, at the right time and helps to save the day. Cliché plot point aside, Wilson’s voice grates my nerves almost like no other, except Jesse Eisenberg and Jay Baruchel. Personally, I have never and will never care for the less talented of the Wilson brothers, who seems to always be shoved down our throats, complete with close-up of his deformed nose. I’m surprised they didn’t give this turkey some sort of deformity. Then again, I guess being the scrawny one, as he is, was bad enough. Does Wilson do a good job voicing the character? Not really. He does ok reading the lines and all, but that’s what it feels like. There is little to no emotion put into his performance and if he was looking to create another animated character on par with Lightning McQueen, this isn’t it.
Love story. Two turkeys go back in time in an egg-shaped time machine to stop the First Thanksgiving so that turkeys everywhere can stop being killed every year. Sounds like a die-hard action movie for kids, right? Would you think they’d put a love story in there? In my mind, I figured we’d see the token love interest temporarily, as in like a scene here or there. Little did I know that they would drag that out, give her an entire backstory, and make her a central character. In a better film, this would not be a problem, but this all just seemed shoehorned in to fill up a couple of extra minutes.
Anti-Thanksgiving. The people who made this film must really have something against Thanksgiving. Not only do they try to take turkey away from the dinner tables (I’m not a turkey eater, myself), but they take the “heroes” of initial feast and turn them into the villain, especially Miles Standish. Some have called this an anti-Thanksgiving film. I cannot find a reason to argue with that moniker, as it does everything it can to kill the holiday, save for actually accomplishing the goal the two turkeys set out to do in the first place, which was stop the first Thanksgiving.
Watching Free Birds, I got a couple of chuckles from a joke here and there, such as one about “Angry Birds”, but the humor mostly fell flat with me, as I’m not in the demographic this was intended. However, I did like the story that was written for this film and believe that it could have been something special in more capable hands. The animation is pedestrian, but not horrible, and the character design seems to be uninspired, for lack of a better term. Do I recommend this? On a normal summer day, I would have to say no. However, when Thanksgiving rolls around and you’re looking for a holiday flick to watch with the kids, then sure. After all, that is more than likely the only reason this film was even made.
In 1985, awkward and shy 16-year-old high-schooler Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) lands a prom date with his dream girl Mary Jensen (Cameron Diaz), only to have it cut short by a painful and embarrassing zipper accident. After the ordeal garners the attention of numerous members of the household and community, Ted is finally carted off to the hospital. He subsequently loses touch with Mary.
Thirteen years later, Ted is still in love — maybe even obsessed — with Mary. On the advice of his best friend Dom, he hires private detective Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to track her down. Healy finds that she is an orthopedic surgeon living in Miami with her friend, Magda, but Healy falls in love with the irresistible Mary as well. Healy resorts to lying, cheating, stalking, and drugging Magda’s dog to win Mary but is exposed by Mary’s architect friend, Tucker, who is heavily reliant on crutches and speaks with an English accent. Tucker, however, turns out to be a fraud himself, as he is an able-bodied and entirely American pizza delivery boy who is also in love with Mary. Using slander, Tucker drives away potential rivals, among them Brett Favre, playing himself as an NFL quarterback.
Ted, aided by Dom, drives down to Florida to reconnect with Mary. Ted seems to have won Mary’s love, until an anonymous letter exposes his being less than honest about his link to Healy. While Ted confronts Healy and Tucker, Mary is confronted by Dom, who turns out to be her former boyfriend Woogie, who “got weird on her” back in high school, stealing all her shoes. Having found out that Tucker also lied about Mary’s former love interest, football player Brett Favre, Ted decides that Mary should be with Brett (who was the only one of the suitors who did not resort to deceit to win Mary). After reuniting Brett and Mary, Ted leaves tearfully. But Mary chases after Ted, saying that she would be happiest with him.
The film concludes with the two engaging in a kiss while a guitarist (Jonathan Richman), who periodically narrated the story in song throughout the film, is accidentally shot by Magda’s boyfriend who was trying to shoot Ted so he could win over Mary.
REVIEW:
Remember those two or three years when Cameron Diaz was the hottest thing on the planet? Well, There’s Something About Mary will surely remind you of those days, but leave us not get ahead of ourselves. There is more to this film than just Cameron, but is it enough to bring in an audience and keep them?
What is this about?
Ted was a geek in high school, who was going to go to the prom with one of the most popular girls in school, Mary. The prom date never happened, because Ted had a very unusual accident. Thirteen years later he realizes he is still in love with Mary, so he hires a private investigator to track her down. That investigator discovers he too may be in love with Mary, so he gives Ted some false information to keep him away from her. But soon Ted finds himself back into Mary’s life, as we watch one funny scene after another.
What did I like?
Competition. Whenever an attractive female is involved, there is always a competition among those that wish to have her. Often this happens to be guys of varying “classes”, if you will, each with their own special set of skills and charms. No departure from that formula to found with this film, and I have no problem with that. There is even a jock…a professional jock, for that matter, that is thrown into the mix at the end, just to spice things up. The competition amongst these guys as they vie for Mary’s affection provides for some of the more comedic parts of the flick.
Mary. As I said in my opening statement, at the time of this release, Cameron Diaz was one of the hottest women on the planet. You can argue that she never lost that title. I wouldn’t really argue with you, other than to say she has younger competition now, but all this is beside the point. The Farrelly Brothers did a great job of casting her, as she was hot both in looks and an up and coming career at the time. Diaz’s comedic chops and innocence make her Mary likable and endearing to the audience, something that is necessary for the film to work. The fact that Diaz is almost as hot as she looks in The Mask doesn’t hurt, either!
Gross out. The Farrelly Brothers are well-known for their gross out humor. Just take a look at Dumb & Dumber, Osmosis Jones, and (if you must) The Three Stooges, for examples. This just happens to be one of the more tame films, but there is still some gross out stuffs to be seen, such as the infamous hair gel scene, or the franks and beans fiasco. At the time of this release, this was gross out humor at its finest, without going overboard. Fast forward nearly 20 years (has it really been that long?!?), and it still works.
What didn’t I like?
Detective. Matt Dillon glues on a moustache that is just a couple of inches short of being one of those that can be twirled a la Snidely Whiplash. Since he is the villain, it does make sense, but at the same time, it just makes no sense. Without the ‘stache or with a different style of facial hair, he still would have been a total creep, so I question why they put that on him. Also, how slimy of a detective do you have to be to go on a job locating a girl for someone, then come back tell the guy that hired you that she’s become fat, unattractive, and has popped out handful of kids, when she looks the same as she did in high school, if not better, and then move down there with the intent of hooking up with her.
How can you not know? Not to spoil anything, but someone close to Mary turns out to be now all that they appear. We come to find out that the whole reason for this is because of something she did. It is very hard to say this without spoiling, anything, just so you know. When the story was told, the first thing that popped in my head was how did she not realize what was going on? I get maybe not at first, but it just seems as if it would have been obvious after some time.
Leatherface. A couple of years ago, there was a story about some woman who was tanning every chance she got and doing the same with her kids. When I heard that, I thought about this lady from this film, played by Lin Shaye, who looks as if she is made out of leather. For comedic effect, it was funny at first, but after a while she’s just some leather looking lady who occasionally mention she likes to tan and has to much faith in what her dog thinks. As you can about imagine, I am not a fan
Without a doubt, once you see There’s Something About Mary, you will surely remember it, that’s for sure. That being said, this is a gross-out romantic comedy, so you can guess that it isn’t for everyone, especially those that are easily offended. Then again, if you’re one of those, why are you even bothering with this? Is this a perfect comedy? No, but it does have enough to keep everyone entertained, even the cheesy balladeers that brought to mind the minstrels from Cat Ballou. I very highly recommend this, especially if you’re in need of a few laughs.
The film consists of six interrelated and interwoven stories spanning different time periods. The film is structured, according to novelist David Mitchell, “as a sort of pointillist mosaic.”
South Pacific Ocean, 1849
Adam Ewing, an American lawyer from San Francisco, has come to the Chatham Islands to conclude a business arrangement with Reverend Gilles Horrox for his father-in-law, Haskell Moore. He witnesses the whipping of a Moriori slave, Autua, who later stows away on Ewing’s ship. Ewing advocates for Autua to join the crew as a freeman. Meanwhile, Dr. Henry Goose slowly poisons Ewing, claiming it to be the cure for a parasitic worm, aiming to steal Ewing’s valuables. When Goose attempts to administer the fatal dose, Autua saves Ewing. Returning to the United States, Ewing and his wife Tilda denounce her father’s complicity in slavery and leave San Francisco to join the Slavery Abolishment Movement.
Cambridge, England and Edinburgh, Scotland, 1936
Robert Frobisher, a bisexual English musician, finds work as an amanuensis to composer Vyvyan Ayrs, allowing Frobisher the time and inspiration to compose his own masterpiece, “The Cloud Atlas Sextet.” But Ayrs wishes to take credit for Frobisher’s work, and threatens to expose his scandalous background if he resists. Frobisher, who has read a partial copy of Ewing’s journal in the meanwhile, shoots Ayrs and flees to a hotel, where he finishes “The Cloud Atlas Sextet” but then commits suicide just before his lover Rufus Sixsmith arrives.
San Francisco, California, 1973
Journalist Luisa Rey meets an older Sixsmith, now a nuclear physicist. Sixsmith tips off Rey to a conspiracy regarding the safety of a new nuclear reactor run by Lloyd Hooks, but is assassinated by Hooks’ hitman Bill Smoke before he can give her a report that proves it. Rey finds and reads Frobisher’s letters to Sixsmith, resulting in her tracking down a vinyl recording of Frobisher’s “The Cloud Atlas Sextet.” Isaac Sachs, another scientist at the power plant, passes her a copy of Sixsmith’s report. However, Smoke assassinates Sachs and also runs Rey’s car off a bridge. With help from the plant’s head of security, Joe Napier, she evades another attempt against her life which results in Smoke’s death and exposes the plot to use a nuclear accident for the benefit of oil companies.
United Kingdom, 2012
Timothy Cavendish, a 65-year-old publisher, has a windfall when Dermot Hoggins, a gangster author whose book he has published, murders a critic and is sent to prison. When Hoggins’ brothers threaten Cavendish’s life to get his share of the profits, Cavendish asks for help from his brother Denholme. Denholme tricks him into hiding in a nursing home, where he is held against his will, but Cavendish escapes. Cavendish receives a manuscript of a novel based on Rey’s life and writes a screenplay about his own story.
Neo Seoul, (Korea), 2144
Sonmi-451, a genetically-engineered fabricant (clone) server at a restaurant, is interviewed before her execution. She recounts how she was released from her compliant life of servitude by Commander Hae-Joo Chang, a member of a rebel movement known as “Union”. While in hiding, she watches a film based on Cavendish’s adventure. The Union rebels reveal to her that fabricants like her are killed and “recycled” into food for future fabricants. She decides that the system of society based on slavery and exploitation of fabricants is intolerable, and is brought to Hawaii to make a public broadcast of her story and manifesto. Hae-Joo is killed in a firefight and Sonmi is captured. After telling her story and its intent, she is executed.
The Big Island (dated “106 winters after The Fall”, in the end credits and book cited as 2321)
Zachry lives with his sister and niece Catkin in a primitive society called “The Valley” after most of humanity has died during “The Fall”; the Valley tribesmen worship Sonmi (Sonmi-451) as a goddess. Their sacred text is taken from the broadcast of Sonmi’s manifesto. Zachry is plagued by hallucinations of a figure called “Old Georgie” who manipulates him into giving in to his fear, and hiding while witnessing the murder of his brother-in-law and nephew by the cannibalistic Kona tribe. Zachry’s village is visited by Meronym, a member of the “Prescients”, a society holding on to remnants of technology from before the Fall. In exchange for saving Catkin from death, Zachry agrees to guide Meronym into the mountains in search of Cloud Atlas, a communications station where she is able to send a message to Earth’s colonies. At the station, Meronym reveals that Sonmi was mortal and not a deity as the Valley tribes believe. After returning, Zachry discovers the slaughter of his tribe by the Kona. Zachry kills the Kona chief and rescues Catkin; Meronym saves them both from an assault by Kona tribesmen. Zachry and Catkin join Meronym and the Prescients as their boat leaves Big Island.
Epilogue
A seventh time period, several decades after the action on Big Island, is featured in the film’s prologue and epilogue: Zachry is revealed to have been telling these stories to his grandchildren on a colony of Earth on another planet, confirming that Meronym, who is present at the site, succeeded in sending the message to the colonies and was rescued along with him.
REVIEW:
It is my understanding that Cloud Atlas is based on a very successful book. If the book is anything like what I just saw, then is must be highly imaginative…and long…VERY long.
What is this about?
In this star-studded drama, six seemingly disparate stories take viewers from a South Pacific Island in the 19th century to 1970s America to a dystopian future, exploring the complicated links that humans share through the generations.
What did I like?
Make-up. It should go without saying that the makeup is a star of its own in this film. The reason I say that is because what other way can you use the same group of actors over 6 very different eras and change things such as their race, nationality, and in a couple of cases, sex. The makeup artists are to be highly commended for the job they did with these people.
Time. There was something about the way these people connected in one era, then would find each other in another era and connect, then do the same thing again in another era that resonated with me. I guess if you’re meant to be friends, lovers, or enemies with someone, then it’ll happen in all of your incarnations.
Mix. A review I read about this a little before I started this post said that this is the perfect mix of all the genres that people would want to see, be it comedy, drama, intrigue/suspense, action, etc. I had to think on that for a minute and it is true. Each of these segments is not only set in a totally different era, but they all have a different tone to them. That is what keeps the film interesting.
What didn’t I like?
Ambitious. I give this film all the credit in the world for taking a stab at doing something different. However, I felt that it may have taken a bit too big of an undertaking. This is a big film, but feels like it is an independent flick. The two don’t gel the way they could/should and ultimately, it hurts the proceedings.
Asian. The story involving Neo-Seoul wasn’t working for me. I just couldn’t seem to get into it. That isn’t my complaint, though. That section of the film also featured some very odd make-up that could be construed as racist by some. I didn’t think so, but I can see how some would cry foul. Having said that, I’m not really sure what else could have been done.
Long. At nearly 3 hours long, you better be ready to be sitting for quite some time. I’m not really a fan of long films, unless they can keep my attention, which this one did not. As a matter of fact, I actually found myself dozing a bit in the middle and had to rewind in a couple of sections just so I wouldn’t be lost. I don’t know what they could have cut out, but I’m sure there had to be a way to make this shorter, right?
Cloud Atlas was very much hyped up before it was released, but the finished product doesn’t live up to that hype. For me, it was ok, but nothing spectacular. I can’t not recommend this, because it isn’t a bad film but, at the same time, I can’t say that you should rush out and see it. Yes, it is above average and worth seeing, but I just don’t know how much you should move your schedule around to check it out.
On a cold winter, Calvin Palmer, Jr. (Ice Cube) decides he has had enough of trying to keep open the barbershop his father handed down to him. He cannot borrow, revenues are falling, and he seems more interested in get-rich-quick schemes to bring in easy money. Without telling his employees, or the customers, he sells the barbershop to a greedy loan shark, Lester Wallace (Keith David), who lies about its future by announcing plans to turn it into a strip club.
After spending a day at work, and realizing just how vital the barbershop is to the surrounding community, Calvin rethinks his decision and tries to get the shop back – only to find out Wallace wants double the $20,000 he paid Calvin to return it, and before 7 P.M. that day. Right after he admits to the employees that he sold the barber shop, and that it would be closing at the end of the day, the police arrive to arrest one of the barbers, named Ricky (Michael Ealy). He is accused of driving his pickup truck into a nearby market to steal an ATM, but it is revealed that the ATM thief, JD (Anthony Anderson), a cousin of Ricky’s, was actually the one who committed the crime after borrowing Ricky’s truck. Because this is, potentially, Ricky’s ‘third strike’, he could be sentenced to life in prison. Calvin uses the $20,000, from Lester, to bail Ricky out of jail yet Ricky is angry as he believes Calvin betrayed him.
Calvin reveals that he found a gun in Ricky’s locker in the barbershop and shows it to him. They stop the car and Ricky throws the gun into the river, proving that he does not want to get into any more trouble. Then they both go to see Lester. Lester, as well as JD and Billy (Lahmard Tate)(who were still trying to pry the ATM open) are confronted by Calvin and Ricky. They demand Lester give the barbershop back. Lester is angered and orders his bodyguard Monk to pull out his gun. The police arrive just in time to save Calvin and Ricky but JD and Billy are arrested. Calvin and Ricky see the ATM, and get a $50,000 reward for returning it to police. They get the money, and the barbershop reopens with even better business than before. In the meantime, Calvin’s wife, Jennifer (Jazsmin Lewis), has given birth to a baby boy.
REVIEW:
I remember growing up and going to the barbershop with my grandfather on the weekend. I have to say that the characters I would see there aren’t anywhere near as colorful as those we see in Barbershop.
What is this about?
A day in the life of a barbershop on the south side of Chicago. Calvin, who inherited the struggling business from his deceased father, views the shop as nothing but a burden and waste of his time. After selling the shop to a local loan shark, Calvin slowly begins to see his father’s vision and legacy and struggles with the notion that he just sold it out. The barbershop is filled with characters who share their stories, jokes, trials and tribulations. In the shop we find Eddie, an old barber with strong opinions and no customers. Jimmy is a highly educated barber with a superiority complex who can’t stand Isaac, the new, white barber who just wants a shot at cutting some hair. Ricky is an ex-con with two strikes against him and is desperately trying to stay straight. Terri is a hard-edged woman who can’t seem to leave her two-timing boyfriend. And lastly there’s Dinka, a fellow barber who is madly in love with Terri but doesn’t get the time of day.
What did I like?
A day in the life. Plot aside, I have to give this film all kids of props for not being afraid to show real people. What I mean by that is there is no fancy plot to this film, and it could have very well been any barbershop in America when they were just sitting around cutting hair, throwing insults, and just talking. These are the scenes when the film really shines.
Old man. Cedric the Entertainer plays the typical old man barber every barbershop seems to have. An old guy that is just there and you never see him cut hair. You can say that he steals the show and I don’t think any one would be willing to argue with you about that. The last film I saw Cedric the Entertainer in was Codename: The Cleaner. This came out before that was made. Apparently, Cedric hadn’t sold out, yet, when this was made.
Plot. I didn’t really care for either plot, but without them, this might as well have been a reality show about barbershops. Didn’t they actually have one of those at one time? Anyway, the main plot about struggling to keep the shop, while the same kind of regurgitate generic plotline we’ve been served for years, worked and the subplot about the stolen ATM provided a look at the outside world and provided comic relief. Although, since this is a comedy, I’m not sure that is what you would actually call that.
What didn’t I like?
Race and gender. Technically, this isn’t a “race” films, but rather one that features mostly African-Americans. However, it seems as if every chance he gets, Sean Patrick Thomas’ character was throwing his blackness in the face of the one white person we see in the whole film, who also happens to be a barber (I can’t think of the actor’s name, but I believe he’s Jane Fonda’s son). Thomas seems to always get roles that call on him to play the race card in some way or other. He also seems to get into a near altercation with Eve’s character over some apple juice that he may or may not have drunk. Being the only female in a barbershop, is hard enough, but it must be even harder when you’re not half-bad looking like Eve. There is the problem. No one is going to want to go to an attractive barber, or are they. I had an attractive barber my first couple of years in high school. Truth be told, she didn’t do half as good a job as her mother, but she was hot, so I kept going to her. They never show Eve’s prowess with the clippers, but I can imagine all her customers are the kind that go to her just because she’s somewhat of a looker, no matter the quality of her cuts.
Bumbling. I mention the “comic relief” earlier. I’m not quite sure what the whole reason for having that part of the plot was, but whatever. My beef is with how bumbling they are! We’re talking the kind of bumbling reserved for supervillain henchmen. If this wasn’t already a comedy, they might have actually worked. Instead they were like throwing a gallon of ice cream onto an ice cream sundae. Some people may like it, but for others it is just too much.
Old man. I mention Cedric the Entertainer’s character earlier, and I want to bring him back up briefly. Actually, I just question why they couldn’t cast an actual old comedian in this role. Nothing against Cedric, but it just seemed to be rather odd, especially with the weird gray hairs and unusual hairstyle he was sporting.
Barbershop is one of those films that people are always going to talk and laugh about, but some question how good it really is. Personally, I think it depends on your taste in comedy. For me, I loved it, but someone else may prefer the dry, insulting wit that seems to be so popular today. Obviously, it isn’t the choice comedy for everyone, but it is worth watching, even if it about 10-20 minutes longer than it should be. Check it out sometime!
A nameless unemployed drifter, referred to as “Nada” (Roddy Piper), finds construction work in Los Angeles. Fellow worker Frank Armitage (Keith David) takes him to a local shantytown for food and rest, where Nada notices odd behavior; a blind preacher urges people to take action outside a local church with shantytown member Gilbert (Peter Jason), a police helicopter scouts overhead and a homeless drifter (George Buck Flower) complains as a bearded man interrupts the TV signal, urging action against those in power. Nada investigates and finds the church is a front; the choir is actually an audio recording and scientific apparatus and cardboard boxes fill the room. Nada sees a wall compartment hiding another box but escapes when the preacher catches him. At night, police bulldoze the shantytown and attack its fleeing inhabitants. In the morning, Nada finds the church empty, but procures the hidden box. At an alleyway, he stashes it, finding it full of black sunglasses and taking a pair.
Looking through them, Nada discovers the reality of the bleak world. The media and advertising actually contain totalitarian commands of obedience and conformity in consumerism, to control an unwitting human population. Many with authority and wealth are actually humanoid aliens with skull-like faces. Nada confronts an alien woman at a store, who then speaks into a wristwatch notifying the others about him. Two alien police officers apprehend Nada but he kills them, taking their guns and going on a shooting spree against aliens in a bank, while one vanishes using his wristwatch. Nada escapes, destroying an alien flying camera and taking Cable 54 assistant director Holly Thompson (Meg Foster) hostage. At her hill-top home, Nada tries to convince her of the truth while suffering a headache from the glasses. Instead, Holly knocks him through her window and calls the police. Nada tumbles down and escapes, leaving his belongings behind.
Nada returns to the alleyway, saving the sunglasses box from a garbage truck. He tries convincing Frank to put on another pair, but Frank wishes no involvement as Nada is now a wanted man. The two engage in a fistfight as Nada forces the glasses onto Frank, who then sees the truth as well. They rent a hotel to discuss their predicament before Gilbert contacts them, notifying of a secret meeting with others against the aliens. There, Nada and Frank are given updated contact lenses to replace their glasses and learn more from the bearded man’s transmission. The aliens control Earth as their third world, causing global warming as they deplete its resources before moving onto other planets. Frank is given an alien wristwatch, a complex radio and teleportation device. The aliens primarily use a signal to disguise themselves and destroying its source will make everyone on Earth see them. Holly appears, apparently joining the cause and apologises to Nada. However the police attack the meeting, killing anyone in sight, while Nada and Frank are cornered fighting their way out. Frank accidentaly opens a temporary portal by throwing the watch, through which the two jump into a network of underground passages.
The two find the aliens in a grand hall celebrating with their elite human collaborators. The homeless drifter from earlier, now a well-dressed collaborator, believes the two to be collaborators as well. He takes them on a tour of the passages, revealed to link the alien society, including a space travel port. A further passage leads to the basement of Cable 54 station and the source of the signal. The collaborator escapes by teleporting as the two attack their way through the building to find the broadcaster on the roof, finding Holly and taking her along. As Nada climbs to the signal broadcaster, disguised as a satellite dish, Holly kills Frank. Revealed to be a collaborator, she takes aim at Nada along with an alien police helicopter, persuading him to stop. Nada drops his gun, but then retrieves a hidden pistol from his sleeve and kills Holly. He then shoots and destroys the broadcaster but is killed by the alien police, giving them the finger as his last act. With the signal destroyed, humans discover the aliens in their midst.
REVIEW:
The other day, Yahoo! had an article about the best alien movies and They Live was on there. I’m not one to really use them as my source for what and what not to watch, but I figured it couldn’t hurt anything. I have to say that I think this was one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve ever encountered.
There wasn’t much I liked about this flick, if anything.
Homage to the old school. I love classic sci-fi flicks, such as The Day the Earth Stood Still. When we see the aliens (through the use of special sunglasses), it is through a special black and white filter that apparently pays homage to those classic films of the 40s and 50s. Truth be told, if this would have been entirely in black and white, or even in a different era, it may have been 1000x better!
Accent be gone. I think most people know Rowdy Roddy Piper as the loud, obnoxious wrestler who was Hulk Hogan’s rival in the mid 80s…at least according to the Saturday morning cartoon, Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n Wrestling it was. I don’t believe his accent is real, but it was nice to hear him tone it down…a lot!
What didn’t I like?
No life. In contrast to the film’s title, the plot has no life to it. I just wasn’t able to get into the story. For something like this, there should have been something more exciting, not just some random bad acting and effects.
Plotholes. I could spend all day listing all the plotholes in this flick, but I’ll spare you. Just be aware that there are many, many places where you will be scratching your head wondering WTF?!?
They Live just didn’t do it for me. I felt like this film could have been so much more and it just wasn’t. How it has attained such a cult status is beyond me, maybe it has something to do with the economic themes it touches on. At any rate, I wouldn’t recommend this to my worst enemy!
An American Antarctic research team stationed at the United States National Science Institute Station 4 or Outpost 31 is alerted by gunfire and explosions. An Alaskan Malamute is trying to evade a Norwegian helicopter with an on-board rifleman frantically trying to kill the dog. The helicopter lands and the rifleman attempts to volley a thermite charge but accidentally drops the grenade. The pilot tries to pick it up but dies in the subsequent explosion, destroying the helicopter in the process. Unable to communicate with the American team in English, the rifleman fires at the dog, grazing Bennings, one of the researchers. The man is then shot and killed by Garry, the station commander.
Not knowing what to make of the incident, the station crew adopts the dog, placing it in the hands of Clark, the sled-dog handler. Unable to contact the outside world via radio, helicopter pilot R.J. MacReady and Dr. Copper risk a flight to the Norwegian camp for answers, but find the entire compound in charred ruins. MacReady and Copper enter the charred building to find an axe stuck in the door, the Norwegian personnel missing, and the body of a man (named Colin in the prequel) who appears to have committed suicide in the radio room. While Cooper collects videotapes and documents for evidence, MacReady searches the rest of the camp and discovers a large block of excised ice with a hollowed cavity in a room with a large hole in the roof. Outside the camp, the two also discover the burned remains of a mangled humanoid corpse with two faces. They bring the twisted body back to the camp, but an autopsy by Dr. Blair is inconclusive aside from the fact that the creature’s body contains a set of normal internal organs.
At a request by Bennings, Clark kennels the stray with the rest of the station’s sled dogs. Once alone, it transforms into a chaotic biomass that violently assaults the dogs with acidic fluids and whip-like tentacles. Alerted by the noise, MacReady and Clark summon the crew to the kennel with weapons, and Childs burns the creature with a flamethrower. A subsequent autopsy by Blair reveals that the stray dog was a mimetic extraterrestrial life form that assimilates and imitates other life forms on a cellular level. Realizing the implications of this, Blair quickly becomes withdrawn and suspicious of the others. Using the Norwegian research materials, MacReady, Norris and Palmer inspect a field site to discover a massive crater formed by an alien spacecraft. Norris and MacReady inspect the craft, which Norris estimates to be at least 100,000 years old, due to the age of the surrounding ice. Palmer, who remains at a distance, discovers the area from which the Norwegians had cut the large block of ice.
The burned corpse from the Norwegian camp is revealed to be still alive when Windows finds the carcass assimilating Bennings and alerts MacReady. The team corners the Bennings-Thing in mid-transformation and burn it with fuel, along with the corpse from the Norwegian camp. Blair, meanwhile, has calculated that the creature will assimilate the entire planet within three years should it ever reach civilization, and suffers a psychotic episode, destroying the helicopter and radio with an axe and killing the remaining sled dogs. The team manages to corner and overpower him, and locks him outside in the tool shed.
To determine which members of the team are infected, Copper recommends a blood serum test, but finds that the medical blood supply has been destroyed by sabotage. Suspicious, MacReady puts Garry, Copper, and Clark into isolation, and orders Fuchs to continue Blair’s work. An approaching snowstorm forces them inside tight quarters and MacReady makes a tape recording of the events in case he or the crew do not survive.
As a blizzard approaches, Fuchs goes missing shortly after a power failure. His burned remains are found outside, with his death suspected to be self-immolation. Station chef Nauls returns to the others after finding MacReady’s torn clothing in his shack’s oil furnace. During a heated debate about MacReady’s fate, MacReady breaks in and commandeers dynamite, forcing the others into a standoff that causes Norris to suffer a heart attack.
When Copper attempts to revive Norris by defibrillation, Norris is revealed to be the Thing when his torso transforms into a giant sharp jaws and bites off Copper’s arms, who quickly bleeds to death. MacReady quickly torches Norris’s body, but the creature’s head detaches itself from its torso, grows spider-like legs, and tries to crawl away. Fortunately, MacReady kills the creature and orders everyone to be tied up for a new improvised blood test. Clark tries to stab MacReady, but is shot and killed.
By observing the Norris-Thing, MacReady explains his theory that every individual piece of the alien is a distinct unit with its own survival instinct and a sample of the alien’s blood will react defensively and try to move away when touched with a heated metal wire. Drawing samples from each member, the test reveals that MacReady, Nauls, Childs, Garry, Windows, and the deceased Copper and Clark are human. But Palmer is revealed to be the Thing and transforms and kills Windows before MacReady burns it; MacReady then burns Windows’ body as it also begins to transform.
Leaving Childs behind for security, the others head to the tool shed in order to force Blair to take the blood test, only to find that he has escaped by tunneling underground. They find that Blair has been infected and has been scavenging parts of the helicopter and radio equipment to build a small spacecraft in a cavern beneath the tool shed. Childs is then seen inexplicably leaving his post just before the entire camp loses power.
MacReady concludes that the alien intends to freeze itself in the storm and await the arrival of the rescue team in the spring. Resigned to the probability that they will not escape alive, the team begins to dynamite the entire complex, hoping to force the Thing out in the open.
While rigging the generator room to explode, Garry is killed by the Blair-Thing. Nauls then disappears after he hears a noise and goes to check it out. As MacReady finishes setting the explosives, Blair transforms into a larger monster, demolishing the generator room and taking the detonator. Before being attacked, MacReady blows up both the Blair-Monster and the base with a stick of dynamite.
MacReady wanders the burning ruins to face his fate with a bottle of scotch and encounters Childs, who claims to have been lost in the storm after pursuing Blair, but MacReady is unconvinced. With the harsh weather closing in around them and without the energy to test which of them is really human, they acknowledge the futility of their situation. They sit sharing the bottle between them, as the camp burns. MacReady says, as the movie’s final line: “Why don’t we just… wait here for a little while… see what happens…”.
REVIEW:
Not too long ago, a remake or prequel, not sure which, was released. I’m not exactly in a rush to see it, but I’m sure that at some point I will decide to give it a shot, so I figured why not check out the film that started it all. There is also the fact that Netflix only has it available on instant streaming until January 1.
Please note, that while this is the film that almost everyone refers to when talking about the The Thing, it is actually a remake of a 1951 film, The Thing From Another World, but is apparently closer to the source material.
We have hear yet another example of why 80s movies tend to be so popular. I say this because of the way this film is paced and how the story develops. Had this been released today, there probably would have been some long expositional backstory and needless drama that lasts 3/4 of the film, whereas in this film, we get the basics and then move on to the good stuff. Thank goodness!
Now, the plot and story could do with a little more development, in my personal opinion, but I think the mystery of the Thing is what makes this film so creepy. Think about it this way, how scared are you of the lies of Freddy Krueger, Jason, Michael Myers, Pinhead, Leatherface, and even Chucky now that we’ve gotten like a gazillion films from all of them, as compared to the way you felt when you saw them at first. That is why it is good that we don’t know too much about the Thing, even though I’m sure there are those out there that feel we need to know everything about the creature, including what color its feces are!
The special effects in this flick are pretty good, especially for 1982. They don’t look hokey or cheesy, but at the same time, they don’t look as if the special effects artists were trying too hard to make them look “real”.
The acting is what you would expect from a film like this, nothing special, but you have to sit back and be impressed with how the cast captures the near madness of these men as the yare cooped up in Antarctica and then suddenly have to deal with this creature that is killing them off and replicating. Oh, and yes, this is an all male cast. There is nary a female in sight, although T.K. Carter’s character has some mannerisms that lead one to assume he may be playing for the other team, if you will.
Regarded as a cult classic, The Thing is much deserving of all its good press and whatnot. Is it worth the hype? I would say so. There is much to like about this film, and I’m sure there are also thing that many of you will not like so much, but isn’t that what makes us all unique? I didn’t necessarily love this flick, but I did enjoy it, and I recommend you give it a shot.
Frank Martin (Jason Statham) has relocated from southern France, to Miami, Florida, where he is driving for the wealthy Billings family, headed by Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). Frank has unexpectedly bonded with the Billings’ son, Jack (Hunter Clary), whom he drives to and from elementary school in his new Audi A8 W12. Frank is also preparing for the arrival of Inspector Tarconi (François Berléand), his detective friend from France, who has come to spend his holiday in Florida with Frank.
Frank takes Jack to a doctor’s checkup, only to be ambushed by a gang of ruthless criminals dressed as doctors who are attempting to inject Jack with a deadly virus. A lengthy fight erupts between the armed villainess Lola (Kate Nauta) and the unarmed Frank; nevertheless, Frank is able to escape with Jack. Frank drives back to Jack’s house, but Lola arrives and forces her way into his car when he is held at a standoff by an unseen sniper capable of penetrating the car’s bulletproof glass. Frank then drives Lola and Jack away from oncoming police units in a long chase sequence.
They arrive at a warehouse occupied by a gang led by Gianni (Alessandro Gassman), the Italian antagonist and ringleader of the operation. Frank is forced to leave Jack in the hands of Gianni and his gang. While leaving the warehouse, he discovers an explosive attached to the car and succeeds in removing it prior to detonation. Jack is later returned to his family after the payment of a ransom, but unknown to them and Frank, Jack has been infected with a deadly virus that will eventually kill anyone that comes into contact with it “within a span of 48 hours”.
Frank decides to take matters into his own hands and finds one of the fake doctors that kidnapped Jack and pretends to infect the Russian henchman, Dimitri (Jason Flemyng), with the same virus. Dimitri panics and hurries to his lab to get the cure, but Frank follows him and takes the antidote from him. After disposing of Dimitri, Frank faces the doctor in charge of the lab. The doctor hurls the only two vials containing the antidote out of the window and Frank quickly jumps to catch them. He lands on a car and catches one, only to find it broken. He saves the other vial from being run over by a truck. Frank sneaks back into The Billings’ home and explains his innocence to Audrey (Amber Valletta), the only one who trusts him. Jack is cured, but he had already breathed on his mother and his father, who is the director of National Drug Control Policy. Jack’s father is taking part of a major conference which brings together the heads of many anti-drug organizations from around the world. Frank learns that, through Jack’s infected father, a Colombian drug cartel wishes to infect and kill all of the conference attendees so that the cartel’s cocaine-smuggling business can operate without interference.
Frank drives to the henchman-garrisoned house of Gianni, who has already injected himself with the remaining supply of antidote to hide it from capture. Following a fight in the garage and another one in which he uses a firehose to fight off the villains, Frank finds Gianni and holds him at gunpoint, but Lola shows up. Leaving Lola to deal with Frank, Gianni flees the scene. Frank kills her.
Frank then follows Gianni, who is making an escape in his helicopter to a waiting jet at the airport. Using a Lamborghini Murcielago from Gianni’s garage, Frank speeds to the airport and boards Gianni’s jet by driving onto the runway and climbing onto the jet’s nose gear, leaving the Lamborghini to collide with a sign at the end of the runway. The explosion damages the aircraft’s landing gear. Frank gets into the interior of the plane through the open wheel well. When the copilot comes to investigate the damaged landing gear, Frank breaks his neck, then he quickly confronts Gianni, who pulls a gun on him. Frank thwarts his attempt to fire the weapon, and they begin wrestling for the gun. Gianni is able to take a shot at Frank, who narrowly dodges the bullet. The round hits the pilot and the plane eventually crashes into the ocean.
Gianni tries to strangle Frank, but Frank manages to break Gianni’s spine with his elbow, rendering Gianni alive but immobile. Frank then pushes his captive and himself out of the sinking plane. On the ocean’s surface, police teams arrive. The Billings have been given the antidote, and Frank goes to visit them in the hospital. Before entering their room, he sees them with Jack, who is joking with them, and he silently walks back to his car where Tarconi is waiting. He drops his friend at the airport. Alone, Frank is about to drive away when he receives a call from a man who needs a transporter.
REVIEW:
You gotta love a film that is nothing more than mindless action. The Transporterwas just that, but Transporter 2 takes the same action and gives us a bit of an arguably suspenseful plot to go along with that action.
First off, the thing to notice about this is how good the drivers are. NASCAR has nothing on these guys. I’m sure some of this was stunt driving, but as was brought to my attention previously, Jason Statham does many of his own stunts. Of course, some of this is more than likely computer generated, but it’s still fun to watch, no matter how it was created.
I love the story here. The transporter is now living and working in Florida as a chauffeur (bit of a downgrade, wouldn’t you say?). The family he works for apparently has something to do with DEA or something and this drug lord assassin for hire can’t have that, so he is hired to wipe the father out. He does this by introducing an airborne virus to the child and it spreads to anyone who breathes the air in 4 hrs. Talk about evil!
Jason Statham is exactly what you expect from him. The broody, kick-ass type. He does have a couple of compassionate moments here, first with the kid and the second with an apparent show of feeling for the mother, though he does resist the urge.
Alessandro Gassman is the villainous Gianni, a vile criminal if I’ve ever seen one. When they make a list of greatest movie villains of the 2000s, this guy should definitely get some recognition. If introducing an airborne virus that can wipe out the entire city of Miami in a matter of hours isn’t bad enough. The initial “patient” was a little boy. To top that, when it was time to get the antidote, he injected it into himself, ensuring that he could not be killed. Wow!
Amber Valetta is nothing more than a overconcerned mother, but if some guy who you barely know appears to run off with your boy right in front of your face, I’d say that’s cause for concern.
Kate Nauta is not a good actress, but she had a killer 6 pack. I initially thought she was Pink, though.
Offering comic relief, as well as nod to the first film, Francois Berleand returns as Inspector Tarconi. Granted, he is supposedly on vacation (though with all the work he had to do, you wouldn’t know it, except for the ridiculous Hawaiian shirt he was wearing). I actually liked his chemistry with Statham and his character lightens the mood and reminds the audience not to take this film too seriously.
The stunts are what makes this film special. The most impressive of this is near the beginning when Statham jumps off a bridge flips the car, and just as a bomb is about to go off, he manages to get it removed by a crane hook. Wow!
The Transporter was good, but Transporter 2 improves upon the formula. It is like many people say with sequels, you can tell that the studio is using that money the y got from the original to good use. There is lots and lots of action, some suspenseful moments, and a touch of comedy and drama. How can anyone not like this film? I highly recommend this adrenaline rush!
The movie opens with the evening star twinkling above New Orleans. A young Tiana and Charlotte La Bouff are listening to the story of The Frog Prince as told by Tiana’s mother. Charlotte is thrilled with the idea of finding a prince, while Tiana vows she will never need to. Instead she shares a dream with her father: to open a restaurant of their own.
Years pass and Tiana is now working as a waitress, skimping and saving, and seems to have let go of having fun in favor of her dream, as her father has now passed on. She finally makes the money and shows the plans for her restaurant to her mother, who insists that she needs to look at other parts of life and that even though her father never got what he wanted, he had what he needed: love.
Meanwhile, Prince Naveen arrives in the city with his butler Lawrence. The prince has been cut off by his parents for his play-boy lifestyle and either has to marry or get a job to support himself. He plans to wed Charlotte to gain her fortune. The two soon meet up with Dr. Facilier, who turns Naveen into a frog and gets Lawrence to join him in his plot to rule New Orleans.
At the La Bouff grand ball, Tiana learns that another client put down an offer on the building she wanted for her restaurant, and is now left with nothing unless she can top him by Wednesday. Having given up hope, she desperately wishes on a star, when frog Naveen appears. Thinking her a princess, he convinces her to kiss him, but the spell backfires and she becomes a frog as well.
The two are chased out as Lawrence uses a voodoo charm to impersonate the prince and win the heart of Charlotte. It requires Naveen’s blood however, so Facilier sends out his voodoo spirits to retrieve the prince, who has escaped to the bayou with Tiana. He plans to get Charlotte’s money, kill her father Big Daddy La Bouff, and take over New Orleans, feeding the souls of the citizens to his voodoo friends.
In the bayou, Tiana and Naveen encounter Louis, an alligator who wants to be a jazz musician, and Ray, a Cajun firefly who is in love with a star he has named Evangeline. They take them to see Mama Odie, the good voodoo priestess of the swamp. Along the way, Naveen falls in love with Tiana. They eventually reach Mama Odie, who insists they need to dig deeper to get what they want. Naveen realizes this means being with Tiana.
Mama Odie reveals that for the two to become human, Naveen must kiss Charlotte, who is the Mardi Gras Princess. Naveen plans on proposing to Tiana, but she shows more interest in her dream than in him and he thinks she doesn’t reciporate his feelings. He decides to marry Charlotte and give Tiana her money so Tiana can open her restaurant. However, he is kidnapped by the voodoo spirits, and as they search for him Ray reveals to Tiana that Naveen truly loves her.
Tiana rushes to the Mardi Gras parade to find Lawrence marrying Charlotte in the Naveen disguise, having re-fueled the voodoo charm. Broken hearted, she runs to the graveyard and tells Ray that Evangeline is just as star and he will never actually meet her. Ray rushes off and manages to free the real Prince Naveen and steal the charm, causing Lawrence to resume true form and become arrested. He gives it to Tiana just before Facilier crushes him.
Facilier offers Tiana her restaurant, as well as her human form back, but Tiana realizes that love and following your heart is more important than taking the easy way, like her mother had said. She shatters Facilier’s charm, releasing the voodoo spirits from within who proceed to drag a screaming Facilier into their world for failing them. Naveen offers Charlotte marriage, but Tiana confesses she’d rather have him as a frog than have her restaurant because she is in love with him. Charlotte offers to kiss him so he can marry Tiana, but it is too late. Mardi Gras is over and she is no longer a princess.
Louis finds Ray and rushes him to the pair. He gets to see them together and happy before he dies from his injuries. At Ray’s funeral, they look up and see that another star has appeared next to Evangeline.
Naveen and Tiana are married in the bayou by Mama Odie. Their kiss turns them back into humans because Tiana is now a princess married to royalty. The two go back home and get back the building by having Louis threaten the real estate agents. They work together and open Tiana’s restaurant, where Louis plays trumpet in his band. The movie ends with them kissing as the evening star, Evangeline, twinkles from above.
REVIEW:
Remember the days when movies were hand drawn and in 2D? Well, if The Princess and th Frog is any indication, they may be coming back. I’ll admit, I’m a Disney freak, and have been looking forward to this film longer than just about any movie in my life, including both Transformers. After watching this afternoon, I can say with pride that it did not disappoint.
Let’s get one thing out of the way first. Tiana, is Disney’s first African-American princess. However, as you watch the movie, you don’t even notice, and why should you? Aside from the culture difference between her and her best friend, Charlotte, who appears to be the richest girl in New Orlans, you don’t even notice it. Such a shame that people are making such a big deal about the race of the newest princess, especially since they didn’t make a big deal about Ariel being the first redhead, or Mulan being the first Asian, or Aladdin being the first human male to get his own picture.
When you make a picture set in New Orleans, no matter what the genre, you must have jazz and food in it, and those are exactly two of the biggest driving forces in this picture, aside from the voodoo (another key New Orleans draw) and story. Set in the 1920s, the city sets the perfect backdrop for this story, and the animators and storyboarders captured the city to near perfection (it was a little clean for my taste, even for those days).
Tiana…what can I say about her. I’ve touched on her in previous entires, Defending the Disney Princessesand Who Should be a Princess, and now she has her time to shine.In the lexicon of Disney heroines, in years to come she will be remembered up there with the greatest. She works two jobs to scrimp and save in order to buy her own restaurant, something her father and she dreamed of. It is never said what happened to her father, but it appears he may have dies in WWI. Although this is her movie, she doesn’t hog the spotlight, just as her fellow princesses didn’t. I have to wonder when she was cast, if she sought out advice from the likes of Ariel, Snow White, Jasmine, Belle, etc. Speaking of Belle, she bears a slight resemblance to her and the actress who gives her a voice, Anika Noni Rose. Anika’s vocals do this character justice, but it is her singing that really sets her apart. While not the strongest in the world, they are solid. For goodness sakes, Tiana isn’t an opera or Broadway star. Rose allegedly beat out the likes of Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and Jennifer Hudson, for the role. I think she was a perfect choice.
Prince Naveen…this guy comes off as your typical cocky prince when we first meet him. He’s carefree, but when you have no money and have been cut off, you have to find some way to get that out of your head, right. Naveen falls prey to the Shadow man,and spends the majority of the film trying to decide what it is he wants, true happiness or love…not to mention the constant berating be Tiana he endures. I’m not exactly sure where this country he’s from, is, but his accent leads me to belive it’s somewhere near France or Spain, but I can’t pinpoint it. In terms of looks, he reminds me of Eric from The Little Mermaid, only with more, for lack of a better term, ethnic features.
Dr. Facilier…another in a great line of tremendous Disney villains, which include Jafar, the Wicked Queen, Ursala, Scar, the Horned King, Cruella de Ville, and Maleficent. When you talk about giving this guy a voice, no one is better than Keith David. This guy’s rumbling baritone vocals really resonated with the character and were downright creepy at times. I didn’t quite understand what is deal was with this “friends from the other side”, but that’s just one of those mysteries that may have been uncovered in the book, or is best left unknown. What I do know is that this guy’s song steals the show. It is such a shame he isn’t more in the film. Also, I do believe he is the first villain to no have some sort of sidekick. Even Maleficent and the Wicked Queen had crows. All he has is his shadow.
Mama Odie…I guess you can say she is the equivalent to the fairy godmother in the picture. Like Facilier, her song steals the show, and she also uses voodoo, but at least she doesn’t owe a debt to mysterious voodoo masks. This blind woman uses a pet snake as a walking stick, and like Cinderella’s fairy godmother, is a bit…shall we say…out there. It works for her, though, and makes for quite the enjoyable character.
Ray and Louis are the token sidekicks. Ray being a firefly they meet in the bayou (that’s a swamp for you non southern/Louisiana readers), and Louis is an alligator who years to play his trumpet for people. I don’t think I need to tell you who Louis is named after, do I? Both characters are there to add comic relief, but Ray, I have to say, does a better job. I warn you now, there is a moment of sadness near the end, involving one of these characters.
Charlotte, Tiana’s best friend, is a spoiled rich girl, who you just know she would want to keep the prince all to herself, but in a break from the norm, she actually is as nice (and airheaded) as can be. Bi Daddy LeBeouf and Tiana’s parents are some of the most caring people I’ve ever seen on film.
This film isn’t all rave review from me. The drawing seemed a bit off, as if they had either gotten artists straight out of high school or were rusty. I’ll chalk it up to the latter, since Disney has been obsessed with computer animation since Home on the Range. The beginning of the picture, where we meet Tiana seems to drag on. I mean we get the pciture…thisi s Tiana and Charlotte and New Orleans, blah, blah, blah, get on with it. Also, when Tiana first becomes a frog and she and Naveen are escaping the party, Charlotte’s dog apparently speaks to her, giving the audience the impression that the animals can hear her, but this is never touched on or talked about again. I’d say that this is how they hear Louis and RAy, except that the humans Louis plays with on the steamboat (they think he’s in a Mardi Gras costume) can hear him just fine. I guess that’s one of those mysteries like who all can hear Stewie from Family Guy.
I am so glad Disney decided to not only go back to 2D, but bring back the musicals. If they were smart, they go back and look at their most successful animated pictures (not counting the Pixar films), these would be the ones that are musicals, yet for some reason they abandoned the concept and eventually gave up on hand drawn animation. Often times musicals will leave you with songs that are just ho-hum and you won’t remember then 5 minutes after they’re done, let alone be singing them after the film is over, but this one had my toe tapping all the way through. Trust me, I will be adding this music to my collection. Randy Newman did an excellent job, and Ne-Yo’s song during the end credits just was the cherry on top.
As I was sitting in the theater, I was surprised at how excited everyone was to see this. Aside from your typical summer blockbuster, I have to say I have not seen a theater so packed. It was almost standing room only, and I went during the day!
Oh, one more thing, Tiana’s dream sequence…the animators captures that 20s style of art. It reminded me of the “RHapsody in Blue” segment from Fantasia 2000, and was just as good!
Disney has recaptured the magic with this one. No, it’s not as good as some others, but it is a major step in the right direction. Tiana hopefully won’t get mired down in controversy, as is sure to come her way from people who just want to be haters. This is a beautiful picture, and most importantly, is didn’t const $2.50 extra for what accounts to renting a pair of sunglasses to watch! I love this movie and even if I wasn’t a collector of Disney animated pictures, it still would be going in the collection. Let the countdown begin for the DVD! In the meantime, you should go see it, preferably more than once. Yes, it is that good!
In a prologue-esque scene, a strange set of metallic hands are seen catching a doll of an African-American girl, changing it into a doll with blue hair, a raincoat, and freckles. They then toss the doll through a window, where it floats off into darkness.
Coraline Jones (Dakota Fanning) is an active, imaginative girl who moves into the Pink Palace Apartments with her parents Mel and Charlie Jones (Teri Hatcher, John Hodgman) who are working on a book about gardening despite the fact that Mel is uninterested in dirt and mud, while Charlie has an unenthusiastic outlook on life outside of his writing. Coraline finds herself often neglected by her parents due to their busy schedule and finds entertainment in various other activities. She meets a boy named Wyborne "Wybie" Lovat (Robert Bailey Jr.) who immediately irritates her for his bizarre behavior and talkative nature. She also meets her upstairs neighbor, Mr. Bobinsky (Ian McShane), a Russian whose obsession with cheese and using jumping mice in a circus act begins to creep her out. One rainy day while "exploring" her apartment at her father’s request, Coraline happens upon a small door in the living room wall. After irritating her mother with requests to unlock the door, which is somewhat hidden under the wallpaper, she is disappointed to find that it has been bricked over. In Mel’s hurry to return to her work, she neglects to relock the door.
Shortly after, Wybie presents Coraline with a doll which is oddly made in her image. He later explains that his grandmother will not allow him to go to the Pink Palace Apartments due to the fact that her twin sister disappeared there many years ago as a young child.
That night, Coraline is awakened by a strange noise and follows a tiny mouse to the door, discovering that the bricks are removed and a soft blue tunnel leads to another doorway. She encounters an exact replica of her own home when she emerges, though this world she finds is different. Her mother is beautiful, confident and a fantastic cook. Her father is energetic, unpredictable and with a pair of assisting hands works the piano in a singing dedication to her arrival. The major difference is that both the “Other” Mother and Father have buttons for eyes, as do the other creatures that inhabit the land. After a meal that is like a dream and going to bed in a wonderfully decorated room, Coraline awakens in her old bed and becomes disappointed that it was just a dream after all, confirmed when she goes to the door and it is again bricked over.
Coraline goes to meet the downstairs neighbors Ms. Spink (Jennifer Saunders) and Ms. Forcible (Dawn French), two former actresses who have fallen into senility and have become overweight since their prime. They introduce her to tea leaf reading, and state (quite disagreeably) that there is either a clawed hand, or a giraffe in her future.
Leaving cheese out for the mice this time, Coraline again follows them to the doorway and again is allowed to cross into the "Other" world. This time, her Other Father shows her a wonderful and magical garden, and her Other Mother introduces her to the Other Wybie who (to Coraline’s pleasure) is unable to speak. Both Coraline and the Other Wybie go to the upstairs residence of the Other Bobinski, where his jumping mouse circus entertains and amazes the two. After the show, Coraline returns to the house, and is put to bed. When she wakes up, she is sad to find she’s back in the real world. Seeing the cheese crumbs by the bedroom door, she goes downstairs to the little door, only to find that it’s locked.
Later on that day, Mel drops off Charlie to turn in the garden catalogue, while she and Coraline go shopping. Mel becomes irritated when Coraline begins comparing their reality to the dream “Other” world, and things come to an angry standstill when her mother denies Coraline a pair of lovely gloves to help keep her individual from the dress coded school she is going to be attending.
On the trip home, Coraline’s Mom explains that she locked the door when she found some ‘rat crap,’ thinking that the open door was allowing rats into the house. Back home, with nothing to eat in the fridge, Mel decides to go grocery shopping. Coraline refuses to go, and after Mel leaves, Coraline finds the key to the door. Unlocking it, she finds a small feast as well as a new outfit for her on the kitchen table, along with an invitation that Ms. Spink and Ms. Forcible have a performance to show her after her meal.
Coraline leaves the front porch, and encounters the cat (Keith David), who it turns out can talk in this world. He cautions her to be careful, but she shrugs off his concerns. Entering Spink and Forcible’s residence, she meets Wybie and the two are audience to a wonderful (yet somewhat disturbing) theater show.
After the performance, the Other Mother and Other Father greet Coraline, who is still enthralled by the performance. Wybiedejectedly watches as Coraline is led into the house. The Other Mother then explains to Coraline that she could stay forever, but must allow buttons to be sewn into her eyes. Disturbed by this request, Coraline departs for bed, hoping to fall asleep and return to her reality for good. However, she awakens to find that she is still in this other world. She goes downstairs, the house being noticeably gloomier and scary to her. She encounters her other father who tells her that he cannot talk to her while the other mother isn’t there. The helping hands in the piano continually interrupt his conversation, forcing him to remain silent. Running out of the house, Coraline tries to run away from the Other World, only to find that there is nothing beyond the house and nearby wooded area.
Returning to the house, Coraline confronts the Other Mother, and demands to return to the real world. Growing angry at Coraline’s defiance, the Other Mother transforms into a spindly, gaunt version of herself and throws Coraline into a magic mirror until she can "Learn to be a loving daughter" where she encounters the ghosts of three of her past victims. The children call the other mother a "Beldam" and explain that she traps children in her world and force them to sew buttons in their eyes, but when she tires of them she puts them into the mirror. They explain that she must find their eyes in order to free their souls. Other Wybie takes Coraline out of the mirror, and she discovers the Beldam’s punishment, skewing his face into a twisted smile with a pair of hooks. He takes her to the door, then sacrifices his safety to make sure she returns home.
Coraline returns home and discovers her parents are missing. After confronting Wybie about the happenings, he thinks she has gone crazy and flees. With the cat’s help, Coraline discovers that by seeing her parents’ reflection in a mirror that the Beldam had come and taken them away as well. She returns to the Other world, and using the cat’s advice challenges the Beldam to a game, which the Beldamhas a passion for and cannot refuse. She challenges to find the eyes of the children and her parents otherwise she will remain in that reality forever and allow buttons to be sewed into her eyes. Using a trinket given to her by Spinkand Forcible in the real world, she is able to find one in each of the "wonders" that the Beldam presented her, off the knob of a sheering mantis in the garden, which the still-kindly other father sacrifices himself to give her. One in Spink’s ring, and one in one of the circus mouse’s balancing balls. Retrieving them in the nick of time, Coraline has yet to find her parents. When Coraline discovers them in a snowglobe, she throws the cat at the Beldam’s face (whose appearance has changed drastically, with more spider-like moves), grabbing the globe and escaping a web the Beldam had created as the remainder of the illusory world shatters into nothingness. She manages to climb up and out of the world and through the tunnel, returning to find that her parents have no memory of having been kidnapped.
That night in bed, the children’s spirits tell Coraline that as long as she has the key to the Beldam’s world she is in danger. Coraline resolves to throw the key into a deep abandoned well nearby, but the Beldam has one trick up her sleeve, releasing her clawed hand (which was revealed at the start of the film) it attacks her before she can drop the key into the well. Wybie arrives and with his help, they are able to put the hand down, dropping it and the key into the well. Wybie apologizes for thinking that Coraline was crazy, revealing a photograph of his grandmother and great aunt, who is holding a doll that looks just like her. The following afternoon, there is a garden party thrown by the Joneses, with all of the neighbors involved in planting beautiful flowers (or beets in Mr. Bobinsky’s case). Coraline notices Wybiecoming through the gates to the garden with his elderly grandmother, and rushes to greet them, and tell her about her sister’s story. Back at the front of the Pink Palace, we see the cat sitting on the "Pink Palace Apartments" sign. He mysteriously licks his paw and disappears behind the sign.
REVIEW:
I’ve never read the Coraline book, but after watching this, I may go to the library and see if I can locate it.
The first thing that caught my attention about this flick, is the fact that it is not CGI, bit rather stop motion. You remember stop motion, don’t you? That’s where actual people set each character’s movements one at a time. It takes some time, sure, but its a lot more enjoyable to watch than CGI.
Aside from the stop motion, I can’t help but notice how beautifully animated this film is. It should go down in history up there with some of the other visually stunning films.
It is quite obvious that Tim Burton is behind this film. The only things missing ar Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Danny Elfman. True, Burton didn’t direct this film, but his stamp is all over it. The creepy, fun look that almost all of his films have is everpresent.
Something ironic that I found was when the Other mother becomes a spider like entity. Teri Hatcher is known as a skinny, bony, hag these days. I just found it hilarious that the character she played morphed into the Other Mother, they made her so skinny and ugly that she looked like Teri.
What did I think of this film? It is for sure worth a viewing? Most definitetly, unless you’re one of those basket cases that has it in for Tim Burton ot something.
The film opens with a narrative, explaining the motives of the Necromongers, a race of conquerers travelling across space toward the Underverse, a dark mirror of the normal universe where death has no meaning. Their leader, the Lord Marshal (Colm Feore), commands his troops to overrun worlds and convert their inhabitants into Necromongers; those who oppose conversion are killed.
The story begins on the icy world of UV VI where Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel) is evading bounty hunter Toombs (Nick Chinlund) and his crew. Toombs is trying to collect the 1.5 million bounty placed on Riddick’s head. Riddick kills or disables all but Toombs and leaves the planet with their ship, setting a course for the planet Helion Prime, from which the bounty originated. In the Director’s Cut, Riddick is plagued by visions from a character named Shirah during the flight, who tells Riddick he is the last of a warrior-race called the Furyans.
When Riddick lands on Helion Prime, he confronts Imam (Keith David) in the city of New Mecca, believing he is responsible for the bounty. Imam explains that he only gave information on Riddick’s location to the one who placed the bounty. Imam also tells Riddick that Jack, the other survivor from Pitch Black, went looking for him several years earlier, missing his brother-like influence. She became a criminal and was sent to prison on the planet Crematoria. He introduces Aereon (Judi Dench), an envoy of the Elementals, who arranged for Riddick to be brought to Helion. She explains he is part of a prophecy that states a lone Furyan will one day challenge an unstoppable evil and bring balance back to the universe, and says the Necromongers are the ones the prophecy foretells.
Following this revelation, the Necromonger army attacks Helion Prime, wiping out the planet’s defenses in one night. Imam is killed in the attack while protecting his family. An enraged Riddick heads to the city forum, where the Helion Prime leaders are gathered before the Necromongers and the Lord Marshal. He challenges and dispatches Imam’s killer easily. Suspicious of his abilities, the Lord Marshal has Riddick taken into his fortress to confirm his identity. Placed before the psychic Quasi-Deads, who claim Riddick is a Furyan, the Lord Marshal orders his death. Riddick escapes, only to run into Toombs again. Toombs hired a new crew. Riddick allows himself to be captured so he can be transported to Crematoria, a dead world where daytime surface temperatures scorch the face of the planet.
Riddick is reunited with Jack (Alexa Davalos), who now goes by the name of Kyra. She blames him for leaving her and Imam in New Mecca, but eventually they reconcile. Back on Helion Prime, the Lord Marshal commands Necromonger Commander Vaako (Karl Urban) to find Riddick and have him killed, so Vaako sets out with a small group of Necromongers and a Purifier (Linus Roache) to bring him down. Vaako is curious as to why the Lord Marshal is so afraid of Riddick. With encouragement from his rabidly ambitious wife, Dame Vaako (Thandie Newton), the two learn, before he achieved his current title, the Lord Marshal destroyed the Furyans’ homeworld of Furya and its citizens. This occurred after a seer foretold that a male Furyan would cause his downfall. They deduce Riddick is the one in the prophecy.
When Toombs and his crew argue over Riddick’s bounty with the prison warden and his guards, the warden reveals he has pictures of the incoming Necromongers, who have picked up the trail left behind by Toombs’s ship. A gunfight erupts, with the staff emerging victorious. The warden and guards depart, running through man-made tunnels towards the ship hangar, locking the rest of prison down to prevent the inmates from escaping. Riddick, Kyra, and some of the inmates decide to reach the hanger first by traveling on the surface, surviving by keeping pace with the temperate zone created between the scorching heat and freezing cold of Crematoria’s daily cycles. They reach the hangar, but Vaako and his contingent of soldiers have arrived on the planet, hastily taking out the warden and his guards. Riddick and company are forced to fight the Necromongers.
Amidst the numerous casualties, Vaako narrowly defeats Riddick. In the Director’s Cut, Riddick suddenly manifests a powerful energy burst which knocks out both himself and most of the Necromongers. Vaako leaves Riddick for dead as the rising sun burns Crematoria’s surface. Vaako and the surviving Necromongers make their escape, taking Kyra, who believes Riddick has perished. Riddick nearly burns to death, but is suddenly saved by the Purifier. He states the Lord Marshal has offered to spare Riddick’s life in exchange for assurance that Riddick will not attempt to kill him; however, the Purifier goes on to say Vaako will likely claim Riddick’s death, in fear of failure, leaving the Lord Marshal vulnerable. Before walking into the sunlight and his death, the Purifier reveals himself to also be a Furyan.
Vaako returns to the Legion Vast, where the Lord Marshal promotes him. Riddick flies Toombs’s ship back to Helion Prime, intending to rescue Kyra. Not quite convinced of Riddick’s death, the Lord Marshal orders the “Final Protocol”, which will ultimately destroy all life on Helion Prime. Dame Vaako spots Riddick, who has infiltrated the mother ship. She suggests to her husband that he be allowed to fight the Lord Marshal, hopefully injuring him and allowing Vaako to deal the final blow so he may assume power, based on the Necromonger philosophy, “you keep what you kill.” Riddick makes his way to the throne room, where he comes face to face with the Lord Marshal, who reveals Kyra has converted to their faith. After lamenting to himself that the Necromonger has killed everyone he loved, Riddick does battle with the Lord Marshal, whose unique powers prove too great for Riddick to handle.
Before the Lord Marshal can deliver the coup de grâce, Kyra stabs him in the back, but he backhands her into a spike on a column, mortally wounding her. Vaako, sensing an opportunity to vanquish his superior and claim leadership, strikes out at the Lord Marshal, who narrowly escapes the blow. Riddick, however, has positioned himself where the Lord Marshall has retreated to, and stabs the Lord Marshal in the head, killing him.
Riddick turns to the wounded Kyra, and she dies in his arms. As he collapses on the Necromonger throne, the Legion Vast kneel before him, and Riddick remains silent while Aereon ruminates on the irony of the situation. In the Director’s Cut, the film abruptly ends with Riddick repeating the Necromonger adage “you keep what you kill,” realizing he is the new leader of their empire. In the theatrical cut, the Necromonger fleet abruptly departs, sparing Helion Prime. The epilogue of the novel adaptation goes even further with Riddick ordering the Necromonger fleet to the Threshold, gateway to the Underverse.
REVIEW:
Pitch Blackintroduced us to Richard B. Riddick, a tough criminal/murderer, who ended up being a reluctant hero of sorts. The Chronicles of Riddick gives us a little bit more insight into the character…not that I said a little bit.
This film is filled with action and adventure, as well as some interesting plot twists. The fight scenes involving Riddick are quite intense and the part where the inmates from Crematoria are running to escape the sun is enough to get your blood pumping hoping that they make it before the sun catches and fries them.
Vin Diesel is not going to win any Academy Awards with this acting, at least not anything I’ve seen, but for this character, he’s perfect. That could be because they pretty much wrote the part with him in mind, and it shows. As hardened and action junkie as Riddick is, he shows some compassion towards Imam, his family, and Kyra.
Speaking of Kyra. In Pitch Black, she was called Jack. My, my, my has she grown up in 5 yrs (partially becuse she’s being played by a different actress). They briefly go into her story, but not really enough to say they do. Apparently, that is something that is covered in the animated DVD. Alexa Davalos is responsible for bringing Kyra to life, and doesn’t give a bad performance. She even holds her own with Vin Diesel in a couple of fight scenes.
Karl Urban plays Vaako, the Necromonger Commander who has aspirations of taking the throne by betrayal. Ironically, he played Julius Cesar in Xena: Warrior Princess, and as we all know, that ended with him being betrayed. Vaako is your typical second in command, and unfortunately, there’s nothing special about him, except maybe his wife.
Thandie Newton plays Dame Vaako (not sure why they couldn’t come up with a better name for her). Her character seems to be playing puppet with her husband, as she is the one pulling all the right strings behind his desire to overthrow the Lord Marshall. I know there are those that think this woman is very beautiful, and she isn’t an eyesore, that’s for sure, but her look just doesn’t sell me on being a villain and really took away from her acting, which was really good, probably the best in the film.
Dame Judi Dench has a fairly small role as Aereon, the elemental. As far as I could tell, she is some sort of soothsayer with the power to glide a bit. Her character is pretty impressive, but when you have an actress as talented as Dame Judi, you would thik they’d give her more screen time., but at the same tme, I would imagine a role like this must be a break for her and just what she wanted.
The biggest issue I have with this film, is that it doesn’t seem to stick with the story. What I mean by that is that it jumps around from here to there and everywhere without regards to the story. For example, it takes a good hour for things to really get going in the first place. On top of that, the Necromongers, who are the villains in the film, are off screen for a good chunk of the mid section of the film. I sort of understand why they were M.I.A., but at the same time, it wouldn’t have hurt to do a quick shot of Vaako plotting, or the lord Marshall consulting the Quasi-dead, etc.
I’m not sure if I like this better than Pitch Black, but it is pretty good. The film doesn’t suck, but at the same time, it didn’t blow me away as I was expecting it to. I’m not going to dissuade you from seeing this film, but I will offer you this tidbit, it’s best to not go in thinking this is a non-stop action flick. Yes, there is plenty of action, but it seems as if this one depends more on the story to drive it, which isn’ bad, but could have been executed better.
The movie opens in the 46th century, as a cargo spacecraft accidentally crosses through a comet’s tail while on auto-pilot. The ship along with 10 passengers survives a crash onto a strange, brightly lit desert planet. Due to the planet’s complex orbit among its three suns, there is perpetual daylight. Among the survivors are Carolyn Fry (Radha Mitchell) the ship’s docking pilot; a bounty hunter named William J. Johns (Cole Hauser); a Muslim Imam (Keith David) with his three novices Ali (Firass Dirani), Hassan (Sam Sari) and Suleiman (Les Chantery); a young stowaway named Jack (Rhiana Griffith); an antique dealer named Paris P. Ogleby (Lewis Fitz-Gerald); and two Australian prospectors, Zeke (John Moore) and Shazza (Claudia Black), and Johns’ captured target, a dangerous criminal named Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel) who (by some accounts) has had an illegal surgical procedure performed on his eyes to give him perfect night vision.
Riddick manages to escape, and Johns leaves to track him. When Zeke goes to bury the bodies of the ship’s navigator and another dead colonist he is attacked by unseen creatures and brutally killed. Riddick is caught shortly afterward by Johns, and Shazza accuses Riddick of killing Zeke. At Riddick’s urging, Fry investigates a cave and discovers that a colony of vicious creatures exists underground, though fortunately they stay in the caves where it is dark.
An abandoned mining settlement with a supply of water and a small escape ship is discovered several miles from the crash site, near a canyon filled with the bones of the planet’s ancient life (similar to Earth’s elephant graveyards). While exploring the deserted base, Ali investigates the large coring room. He awakens a swarm of smaller creatures and is found flayed. The crash survivors have a much more pressing issue, however. An astronomical model reveals that a month-long total eclipse of the planet is imminent and the survivors must escape before it begins and the creatures emerge. They must retrieve power cells from the crashed ship to power the escape vehicle.
While they are retrieving the cells, the eclipse begins and the creatures attack. The group attempts to take shelter, but Shazza is violently torn apart by the smaller creatures during a dash for the wrecked ship. The group take shelter in a section of the cargo ship, until they find that the creatures have also found a way inside, when a pair of them devour Hassan. Johns shoots one of the creatures and upon inspecting the corpse, the group discover that the creatures are extremely photosensitive, to the point where their skin starts to burn when light is directed upon it. Electing to make a dash for the ship with the power cells, the seven arm themselves with lights and attempt the journey back to the escape vehicle. Riddick uses his surgically-altered eyes to lead through the darkness. While at first well-illuminated, the large, brightly lit fiber optic cables the group have wrapped around them fail when Paris panics and attempts to flee, knocking over the power configuration and extinguishing the light. Without the protection the light offers, Paris is quickly eaten. The six make their way to a large canyon, which in turn leads to the settlement and salvation. Riddick says that the entire canyon is filled with the “Big Boys” and that “The girl” is bleeding, turning to Jack. “Jack” admits that she is a girl, saying she thought that people would respect her more if people thought she was male. Now, unfortunately, Jack is on her menstrual cycle, and the creatures are tracking the group by the scent of her blood. Johns speaks with Riddick, saying that if Jack’s blood will attract the creatures, then maybe he should kill her and drag the body behind them as a distraction. This comment causes Riddick to attack Johns and they fight in a small circle of light created by flares. The fight lasts until the flares go out. Riddick sinks into the shadows as, without protection, Johns is eaten by a creature. As they enter the canyon it starts raining. The lights go out and Suleiman is grabbed by an alien and injured but Fry wards it off with a flashlight. They continue but Suleiman is again taken by a creature, too quickly for anyone to help. When most of their light sources are gone, the three remain in a cave while Riddick goes alone to the ship. In the cave the three discovers that it’s filled with glowworm like slugs and fill bottles with them. Armed with this Fry goes after Riddick. Impressed at Fry’s instinct and skill in finding her way to the ship, Riddick callously asks her to leave Imam and Jack behind. Fry initially accepts, but then overcomes her fears and pins Riddick to the ground, ordering him to help her rescue the remaining survivors. (During the initial crash, Fry had attempted to jettison the passenger compartment to save herself and the navigator, but was stopped by the latter.) Riddick then easily overpowers Fry and holds a knife to her throat, asking if she is willing to die for them. Fry states that she would. Riddick is once again impressed by Fry, and agrees to return to Imam and Jack, and the four then make their way to the ship.
On their way back, Riddick has trailed behind and is surrounded by two creatures. Fry, who had made it back to the skiff, subsequently finds Riddick with a severe leg injury, and leaves the ship to help him aboard. The final death is considered a twist ending; Fry, who Riddick found himself attracted to and was protecting throughout the film, is suddenly stabbed in the back by a creature and dragged into the darkness while trying to help him. Riddick screams “not for me”, presumably deeming his life unworthy of being saved by Fry’s sacrifice.
Riddick makes it back to the skiff to find Imam and Jack waiting. In a final stroke of revenge, he delays departure until the last possible second before engaging the engines at full throttle to incinerate the greatest possible number of advancing creatures.
As the three are leaving the planet, Jack asks what they should say if they run into bounty hunters or other law enforcers asking where to find Riddick. He responds by saying, “Tell ’em Riddick’s dead. He died somewhere on that planet.”
REVIEW:
This film falls in line with the Alien films and Serenity, and that is a film set in the distant future with a rag tag bunch running or hiding from something. The difference here is they spend the first half of the film being scared and running frm Riddick, when they should have been taking care of themselves and finding a way to get away from the creatures.
Vin Diesel doesn’t have a line until nearly halfway through the film, but once he speaks, you know it is him by his distinguishable voice. Diesel doesn’t have many lines in the entire film, now that I think about it. He’s more of a physical presence, and that’s just fine, because he’s not that great of an actor in my opinion…judging only by this film and not his other works.
Speaking of recognizable voice, Keith David plays the token holy man who is on his way to the equivalent of Mecca with his followers. He takes on a middle eastern accent here, which isn’t totally unbelievable, but doesn’t quite sit right. As you watch this film, you have to send your heart to him, though. The guy loses all 3 of his followers. It isa good thing he isn’t headed home. Can you imagine having to explain what happened to them to their mothers?
Radha Mitchell isn’t too shabby in her role as Fry, but I think she tried too hard to be hard in some places and feminine in others, which just leads to confusion for the audience. WE don’t know if she’s gonna be the damsel in distress or the bitch in charge. Geez woman, pick one!
Cole Hauser is a bounty hunter who has had run-ins with Riddick before and has tracked him down. While keeping an eye in him, he also appears to have fallen for Fry, but it doesn’t look as it she’s interested. Hauser’s character is the typical nice guy that turns out to be a total douche. Not much more I need to say about him other than that.
The action scenes in this film are too few and far between for my taste. For the most part, you never really get a good look at the creatures. There could have been a little more backstory on Riddick, as well.
Other than those things, this is a pretty enjoyable, albeit low-budget, film. Sometimes those are the best ones, though. This will never be on any best lists, but it is worth a couple of hours of your time.
Let's All Go to the Movies!!!! 