Just Friends

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

In 1995, Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) is an obese, curly-haired high school student with a lisp, braces, and a “gentle giant” demeanor. He attends the graduation party of his best friend, Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart), on whom he secretly has a crush. He plans to confess his feelings by writing them in Jamie’s yearbook. When Chris tries to return Jamie’s yearbook, it is taken by her despicable ex-boyfriend, Tim (Ty Olsson). Tim reads Chris’s confession aloud at the party wherein Chris is publicly humiliated. He is further demoralized when Jamie doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. Chris receives a kiss on the cheek from Jamie and is told that they are like brother and sister. When the mob of partygoers burst out of the house again, Jamie admonishes them for making fun of Chris. Chris leaves on his bicycle tearfully and vows to leave town and never return in order to achieve greater success than his classmates.

Ten years later, Chris has lost weight, is handsome and is a highly successful Los Angeles record producer. He is also a womanizer. Prior to Christmas, Chris’ boss, KC (Stephen Root), orders Chris to accompany an emerging, self-obsessed pop singer called Samantha James (Anna Faris) to Paris. KC wants Chris to ensure Samantha signs with him. Chris sees difficulties in this but follows orders. During the trip to Paris, Samantha sets her private jet on fire by using aluminum foil in the plane’s microwave oven. This necessitates an emergency landing in New Jersey, near Chris’s hometown. Chris takes the singer to his mother’s house for a place to spend the night and re-engages with his teenage past, including his unresolved feelings for Jamie. At the local bar, Chris encounters some old classmates, including Tim, who is now balding, fat and a heavy drinker. Jamie also appears, working as a bartender to support herself through graduate school. Chris plans to impress and seduce Jamie. However, a number of unexpected problems, including a growing realization that Jamie’s friendship is important to him, hamper Chris’ plan. Chris bonds with Jamie on several occasions and during a friendly ice skating “day date”, Chris is taken away in an ambulance after being injured in a game of hockey. Jamie is reunited with Dusty Dinkleman (Chris Klein), a paramedic and former high school nerd who was also in love with her.

Prior to his date, Chris had left his younger brother, Mike (Christopher Marquette), to spend time with Samantha. Samantha eventually pushes Mike against the bathroom wall to find out Chris’ location and, following initial resistance, Samantha, knowing Mike’s strong feelings towards her, passionately kisses him, resulting in the brother’s disclosure (thinking that Chris and Jamie have had sex already, Mike uses the term “lover”). Samantha consequently becomes jealous towards Jamie, believing that the old classmates are in a relationship, and in an angry rage, Samantha destroys Jamie’s family’s Christmas decorations. Embarrassed by Samantha’s actions, Chris returns home but is visited by Jamie there. Jamie reveals that she is not mad at Chris and plans to spend the night with him; but, due to Chris’ continuing lack of assertion, the two end up falling asleep and no romance ensues.

The day after Samantha’s vandalism, Jamie speaks with Darla (Amy Matysio), who is now married to Clark (Fred Ewanuick), about the night before and her fear that Chris lack of affection might mean that he doesn’t like her. Jamie admits that whilst the two are “just friends”, she tried to “put herself out there” to Chris, to show Chris that she is interested in a relationship. Meanwhile, Chris attends Clark’s workplace, a dental surgery, to talk to Clark, revealing to him that “the timing wasn’t right” and that their shared history hinders his willingness to have sex with her. Chris explains that he feels like he is in high school again.

Later, Chris and Clark catch Dusty singing to a sexy nurse and then kissing her. Dusty then reveals to Chris and Clark that he only plans to have sex with Jamie, as he wants to humiliate her in the same way that he felt she used to humiliate him. Chris tries to warn Jamie about Dusty during a children’s Christmas pageant, but instead ends up attacking Dusty and ruining the play. Jamie refuses to listen when Chris tries to tell her about the nurse, leaving Chris angry and disappointed with both Jamie and her family. Chris consequently gets drunk and enters the bar where Jamie works, proceeding to blame her for keeping him in the “friend zone”; he also exclaims that Jamie will never amount to anything meaningful. Jamie punches Chris and he is tossed out of the bar at her request.

Upon returning to LA, Chris realizes that Jamie is his one true love interest and returns to New Jersey hoping to finally be with her. Chris declares his true love for Jamie at her house and the two kiss outside in view of the neighborhood kids

REVIEW:

Look at Ryan Reynolds today. Does he look like someone who was ever overweight and/or nerdy? Let alone had any trouble picking up girls? I don’t know if he was anything like his character in Just Friends, but I am very appreciative that this film was made, as I can totally relate.

What is this about?

After being snubbed by his high school crush, an overweight nice guy moves to Los Angeles, where he slims down and blossoms into a womanizer. But when he’s stranded in his hometown, he bumps into the girl who once broke his heart.

What did I like?

The zone. Unless you were one of those guys that was a teen heartthrob and/or you were superjock, chances are that you had a few crushes, many of which didn’t even know you existed. Hell, some of them to this very day, don’t know I exist. If this film accomplishes anything, it is that it brings attention to the fact that girls push aside the sweet guy who would do anything for them and make them a pseudo-gal pal, in favor of the guy who will trample all over their heart and leave them a shell of their former selves. Not that I’ve had any experience with this subject, mind you. It is still good to know that this is a phenomena that occurs everywhere.

Brittany. So, Anna Faris was tapped to play this Brittany Spears-like character and she knocks it out of the park. First of all, it should be noted that this was made in 2005, which was around the time of Spears’ “meltdown”. Faris, who is comedic gold, steals the show with her diva like behavior and overactive sex drive. I was wishing for more!

Revenge. The sheer thought of getting revenge on the females who spurned my affections is quite thought-provoking. I can’t help but say that I would get immense pleasure out of seeing them reap what they sowed. I know that sounds vindictive, but  this is something that need. Chris Klein’s character, which is a departure from his normal schtick, has it right, if you ask me!

What didn’t I like?

Fat suit. I was telling my friend, Alyse, about this film and just happened to mention that it has Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit. As you can see in the poster up there, Reynold’s suit is not very  well crafted. On top of that, I just have a hard time believe that Reynolds was this fat guy who turns into a handsome guy. It all seems to Cinderella-ish to me. If they wanted to do that, then they should have gone all out with the Cinderella angle. There is even a moment where he is asked how he los the weight, but he never answers. I’m curious, too, it could be some weight loss surgery is the reason or it could be old-fashioned diet and exercise. Who knows?

Change. Being from a small town, myself, I know how rare it is for anyone to leave and make a name for themselves while everyone else stays home and works at the mom and pop store. My issue is this. 10 yrs pass from the beginning of the film to when Reynolds returns, and yet everyone looks exactly the same, except for him, another geek (Chris Klein), and the jock/bully. The object of his desire, played by Amy Smart (I still was expecting Jason Statham to crashing through the window and use her to get his heart pumping again). < Crank reference. seemed to have gotten hotter!!!

Incomplete. I wasn’t going to mention this, but I have to. My disc from Netflix decided to start acting all wonky and I wasn’t able to repair it to watch the final scenes. It was doing the same thing upon my initial starting of the disc. I really hate it when I get a disc that works, but doesn’t work. Irritations ratcheted up to a maximum level! UGH!!!!

As a pure romantic comedy, Just Friends is one of the lesser ones that I’ve seen, but nowhere near as ad as some of the ones that I have the “pleasure” of viewing. The fact is, this is not a good film, but it does have moment that will keep it in your memories for a day or two, but on the whole, this is sure to cause some conversations among you and your friends from high school about why your friendship was the way it was. I know there are a few that I need to ask about. I can’t recommend this, but I won’t dissuade you from seeking it out, either.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

American Reunion

PLOT (spoiler alert!!!):

13 years after graduating high school, Jim (Jason Biggs), Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Stifler (Seann William Scott) have gone their separate ways. Jim is married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and they have a 2-year-old son named Evan. Oz is an NFL sportscaster living in Los Angeles with his supermodel girlfriend Mia (Katrina Bowden). Kevin is married to Ellie (Charlene Amoia) and works from home as an architect. Finch has supposedly gone missing. Stifler works as a temp at an investment firm.

When a high school reunion is announced, Jim and Michelle decide to return to East Great Falls for it. They arrive at his old home, where Jim’s dad Noah (Eugene Levy) is still grieving over his wife dying 3 years earlier. Jim also runs into his neighbor Cara (Ali Cobrin) whom he used to babysit and has since grown up. Jim meets up with Oz and Kevin at a bar. Finch also arrives on a motorcycle, telling them he has been traveling the world. In the bar, they meet Selena (Dania Ramirez), who was Michelle’s old band camp friend who used to be ugly but has since grown more attractive. The boys agree not to invite Stifler to any of their festivities, but they reluctantly allow Stifler to join them when he shows up at the bar.

The next day, the guys go to the beach with Michelle, Selena, and Mia. Oz reunites with Heather (Mena Suvari), who is dating a heart surgeon named Ron (Jay Harrington), while Kevin reunites with Vicky (Tara Reid). At night, the guys and girls, minus Michelle, go to the falls where they encounter a high school party celebrating Cara’s 18th birthday. Oz, Heather, Mia, and Ron spend time together, where Mia brags about her adventurousness and promiscuity and Ron secretly tells Oz he’d be willing to trade girlfriends. Kevin spends some time with Vicky, Finch makes out with Selena, and Stifler tries to hook up with high school girls. Jim is forced to drive a drunken Cara home. On the way, Kara tries to seduce Jim. Oz, Finch, and Stifler come help Jim secretly return Cara home, but her boyfriend A.J. (Chuck Hittinger) spots Jim and Stifler sneaking out. Meanwhile, Kevin wakes up in a bed next to Vicky without most of their clothes on and assumes they had sex.

The next day, Jim and Michelle, who have been having a lackluster sex life, decide to do something about it at a party Stifler is hosting. They decide to bring Noah to help him out of his depression. At the party, Noah gets drunk with Stifler and starts spending time with his mom Jeanine (Jennifer Coolidge). Kevin confronts Vicky about what happened the night before. When Vicky says they didn’t have sex, Kevin is relieved, but Vicky gets upset that he would have a low opinion of her. Mia takes ecstasy and shows everyone a video of Oz as a contestant on Celebrity Dance-Off, which shows his embarrassing loss. When Heather goes to comfort Oz, he admits he never should have left her and kisses her, but when she leaves, she returns to find Mia straddling him. Upset with him, she gets into a fight with Mia. Jim and Michelle decide to role play with dominatrix outfits, but Jim is confronted by Cara wanting to seduce him again. They are confronted by A.J. and their two groups of friends get into a fight, which is broken up by the cops, who are there to arrest Finch for stealing the motorcycle.

In the aftermath, Mia breaks up with Oz, Stifler decides to skip the reunion for work, and Michelle, upset with Jim’s behavior, goes to her grandmother’s. When Jim tells his dad about their lack of sex because of their son, his dad says they need to make time for each other. At the reunion, Jim, Oz, Kevin, and Finch, who was bailed out by his mom, meet up. Finch admits that he’s an assistant manager at Staples and stole the motorcycle when his boss didn’t give him a raise. They decide to go get Stifler. Stifler quits his job and accompanies them as they return to the reunion. Kevin makes amends with Vicky, Finch hooks up with Selena, Oz gets back together with Heather, and Jim reconciles with Michelle. Meanwhile Stifler is asked to be a party planner for a wedding and hooks up with Finch’s mom Rachel (Rebecca De Mornay), much to the delight of the finally reunited “MILF Guys”.

The next morning, the five friends gather at a hot dog joint, where Jim encounters Kara and both apologize for their behavior. Oz states he’s staying in town with Heather, Finch states he’s planning a trip with Selena to Europe, and Stifler plays coy about Finch’s mom. They all agree to gather once a year to catch up. Elsewhere, Noah and Jeanine are at a movie where Jeanine performs fellatio on him.

REVIEW:

I’m a pretty big fan on the American Pie franchise. The first 2 are among my favorites, as is American Pie Presents Band Camp. The other straight to DVD abominations, though, we’ll just pretend don’t really exist. Initially, when I heard they were getting the original cast back together for a theater released film, I was skeptical. I mean, the track record hasn’t exactly been the greatest following American Pie 2, which happens to be my favorite entry in the series. As more and more news came out about this, though, I found myself getting a little excited about American Reunion, but was it worth it?

Back in 1999, sex comedies had become almost a taboo thing to do, now in 2012, these things are a dime a dozen. Although, most of them are so bad they end up without even a sniff of the big screen. One thing that they all seem to have in common is they involve teens, so seeing some adults in a sex comedy is a nice change.

These guys have come a long way since those sex crazed horndogs we met in the first American Pie. That’s not to mention how far (some of) their careers have come after all these years.

I bet you’re wondering who has a reunion after 13 years, right? Well, and this is actually touched on in the film, someone screwed up in planning the 10 yr reunion, so they’re a little late in getting things off the ground.

Alright, so what worked for me?

Seeing all of the original cast again. Yes, they’re older (in some cases it really shows), but think about what you looked like 13 ys ago compared to today. Chances are there have been quite a few changes there, as well.

Eugene Levy, as with everything else he’s in, steals the show. Couple that with his hooking up with Jennifer Coolidge, and it is comic gold.

Speaking of Stifler’s mom, she’s still as hot as she was in the first two films. Then again, I’ve always said that about her…sometimes. I also loved how she was about to pop out of her dress. Now that I think about it, her character is not really that much different from the one she plays on Two Broke Girls in some ways.

Dania Ramirez was also a nice addition, especially since she was a band geek (something I know a lot about). A friend of mine who saw this at a midnight screening said it was nice to see that East Great Falls had some color, too.

The 90s music is a great touch here and there, but (not to spoil anything) when Oz and Heather get back together, they play the song that was playing when they hooked up after prom in the first film, which was a nice touch, I thought.

What didn’t work…

I love nudity of the female form. Yes, there are perky breasts to be seen here, not in as much abundance as previous entries, but my qualm is with the fact we had to see Jim’s junk. I know females out there will say that it is a double standard, but I could care less about seeing a guy’s penis, especially one squashed by a glass pot cover!

It has been 13 years and the acting for most of these guys has not gotten any better. Granted, with the exception of Alyson Hannigan, none of them have had steady work. Hell, Thomas Ian Nichols has literally only done these movies, to the best of my knowledge.

While it was good to see everyone again, some of them felt like they were brought in just to say, such as Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) and Jessica (Natasha Lyonne). I can accept the Jessica thing, as she wasn’t really a major part of the films in the first place, contrary to what the posters tell you, but Nadia was the main reason Jim got into all those sexual deviations, such as the pie situation and the infamous video on the net. Yet, for some reason, they brought her in for 2 seconds to say hi at the end, with some Jim look a like, which just made it worse.

If the direct to DVD sequels have taught us anything, it is that there is such a thing as too much Stifler (no matter part of the family they are) , yet this film didn’t seem to get that memo, as it gave a lot of focus on him. The thing is, Stifler is a good comedic supporting character who is different from the leads. When you make him a lead, it ruins the dynamic, as we learned in American Wedding. Now, this is not to say that Seann William Scott did a bad job. It was just the way it was written. 

On top of this, the mental breakdown that happens at the end of these movies, usually done by Kevin, happened to Stifler. What’s up with that?!?

Speaking of breakdown, did we really need to have Michelle running off to her grandmother’s? This is the 21st century, and just judging by her personality and chemistry with Jim, I just see her not getting mad, but taking it out on him in the bedroom. I joked that she may even invite that little 18 yr old to join them, or at least her band geek friend.

So, when all the dust settles, what do I really think of American Reunion? Well, it is a great trip down memory lane. I would wager that when you come out of seeing this, you’ll want to call up some old friends or that one that got away, or even just talk to an old friend who you had a crush on (and still might) but will never tell. I won’t say this is the best entry in the franchise, nor will I say it is a great film, but it is a good flick that can be enjoyed for what it is. I highly recommend it as you’re sure to come out with a smile on your face, especially after the credits scene. While I can’t say you should rush out and see it in theaters, rest assured, when the DVD comes out, I’ll be sure to be getting it…the unrated version, that is.

4 out of 5 stars

Election

PLOT:

Jim McAllister (Matthew Broderick) is a high school teacher in the suburbs of Omaha, Nebraska whose enthusiastic involvement at school masks his frustration with other aspects of his life. Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) is an overachieving senior with a secret vindictive and sexual side. Earlier in the year, Tracy had an affair with McAllister’s best friend, another teacher. As a result, her lover was fired from his job, divorced by his wife, and ended up a ruined man; Tracy, however, walked away with no one knowing of her involvement aside from the principal, McAlllister, and her mother.

Tracy announces that she is running for student body president,  horrifying McAllister, who is in charge of organizing the school’s student government and is one of the few people who dislikes Tracy (he also seems afraid that, like his friend, he will be tempted into an affair with her). Other students assume she will win the election, and she is set to run unopposed, but McAllister decides to teach Tracy a lesson in humility by introducing some competition into the election, and convinces one of the most popular, yet dumbest students, a joc, Paul Metzler (Chris Klein) to run against Tracy. Paul agrees, after McAllister convinces him that politics could be his purpose in life, now that his football career has been ended by his broken leg.

Meanwhile, Paul’s younger sister Tammy (Jessica Campbell) – who is sexually involved with another girl at the school – is dumped by her lover, Lisa (Frankie Ingrassia), who says that she is straight and was just “experimenting”. Lisa quickly becomes Paul’s new girlfriend and campaign manager, in part to anger Tammy. Tammy decides to run for president to spite her brother and Lisa with a platform that student government is a sham.

At the speeches, Flick’s speech gets only polite applause, while Paul’s overwhelming support is dwindled by his terrible rhetorical skills. Tammy, however, delivers a demagogic masterpiece in which she denounces the election as a farce that will change nothing at the school. In summation she admits she doesn’t care whether her fellow students vote for her and vows she will do nothing in their service if she wins. Her defiant conclusion “Don’t vote at all!” rallies the student body to a standing ovation, to the consternation of Paul, Tracy and the faculty. Tammy is suspended for three days, but she and her brother make up.

The competitive, ambitious Tracy wants to win at any cost. The night before the election, she tries to fix one of her posters that had become detached from a wall, but accidentally destroys the poster completely. In a fit of uncharacteristic rage, she destroys all of Paul’s campaign posters. Claiming innocence, she threatens legal action against the school when McAllister attempts to use her affair with his best friend to impeach Tracy’s credibility. Tammy then “confesses” she destroyed the posters after witnessing Tracy disposing of the refuse by the town factory, and is transferred to a private parochial school for girls.

Jim is secretly attracted to his best friend’s ex-wife, Linda. The day before the school elections, they spontaneously begin to kiss passionately. Linda asks Jim to rent a motel room for a later rendezvous, but when he arrives at her house to pick her up, she isn’t there (and he gets a bee sting in the eye which swells humorously throughout the rest of the film). He returns home to find Linda and his wife talking together. Knowing he’s been caught, he spends the night in his car. The next morning he oversees the counting of the election ballots at school. During this, he calls Linda several times, professing his love for her. Linda blames the whole affair on him, and his wife kicks him out of the house when he tries to apologize. Jim is forced to move into a low-budget motel.

After all the ballots are counted, Tracy has won by one vote (Paul, who has no ill will towards Tracy and did not want to egotistically vote for himself, had voted for her). McAllister is so angry that he secretly disposes of two of the pro-Tracy ballots, demands a recount, and names Paul as the winner. When a janitor, who McAllister had angered earlier in the film, discovers the two discarded ballots and presents them to the principal in what can be assumed to be an act of revenge, McAllister resigns from his job and becomes a pariah. Divorced and humiliated, he leaves town, becoming a tour guide at a museum in New York City, and winds up meeting a new woman that seems to make him happy. He claims that even if Tracy becomes rich and successful, she’ll be miserable because she ruthlessly climbs the ladder of success without any time to truly enjoy it (several scenes earlier in the film suggest that Tracy has few if any friends at school).

Tracy gets accepted into her first choice college, Georgetown University, though she realizes she has few friends. Paul also gets into his first choice of a state college and continues to live with an optimistic “que sera sera” attitude, even when Lisa breaks up with him. Tammy loves the all-girl Catholic school, where she has met her new girlfriend. Years later, on a visit to Washington, D.C., Jim sees Tracy entering a limo with a congressman from her home state in Nebraska, obviously successful in life. He throws a soda cup at the car in anger and runs away. The film ends with Jim back in New York, enjoying teaching at the museum but resenting a Type-A elementary student who reminds him of Tracy.

REVIEW:

I apologize for the shortness of the this review, but I need to go lay down before my head explodes.

Long story short, we have here the tale of a high school student government election. The problem is that Reese Witherspoon, as Tracy Flick, will do whatever it takes to get to the top, and she does so, much to the dismay of faculty adviser James McAllister (Matthew Broderick), who in turn makes his own feeble attempt to fix the election that backfire sbd costs him his job.

There a whole bunch of other stuff that goes on in this film, that is really worth watching. Words cannot do justice the fact that this is an underrated comedy that fits right in with today’s socio-economic climate, while at the same defying or agreeing wth the President of the US.

Well worth the time it takes to learn about high school politics, Election fires on all cylinders and will leave you wanting more. I hope you enjoy!

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

PLOT:

The movie opens with Chun Li narrating her experience growing up aspiring to be a concert pianist. As a child, she moves from San Francisco to Hong Kong with her family. There, along with piano, she learns Wushu from her father, Xiang, who is a well connected businessman. One night, her home is attacked by Bison and his henchman. Chun Li’s father fights them off until Balrog grabs a hold of a young Chun Li, forcing him to surrender. As Bison and his men are leaving with Xiang, Chun Li’s mother tries to stop them. Balrog just punches her.

Years later, Chun Li grows up and becomes a talented concert pianist. At the end of one of her concerts, she receives a scroll written in Ancient Chinese text. On her way home, she sees a mysterious homeless man getting assaulted by street thugs. After the thugs leave, Chun Li tends to him and notices a spiderweb tattoo on his hand. Meanwhile, Xiang is shown working for Bison as a prisoner. In return for his services, he is allowed to view pictures of his daughter all grown up. Back home, Chun Li’s mother finally loses her battle to cancer as Chun Li and her servants mourn her loss at a funeral.

Elsewhere, we see Nash and Maya investigating a murder of several heads of criminal syndicate families in Bangkok. Chun Li on the side is meeting with a wise old lady in town who studies the scroll and tells her to either find a man named Gen in Bangkok, revealing to her an image of the same spiderweb she saw tattooed on the homeless man’s hand. With a new goal in mind, Chun Li leaves her home and heads to Bangkok. After days of searching for Gen without any luck, she sees a man being assaulted in an alley by thugs. Chun Li comes to his rescue and fights them. After a long battle ended by finishing them with a Bike Rack Drop Ultra move, Chun Li collapses in exhaustion. There, we see Gen pick her up to take her to his home.

Gen tells Chun Li that he knows how to find her father and that Bison has him, but that she also needs anger management. In response, she goes to an internet cafe to find out more about Bison, who is now holding the families of property owners hostage in order to force them to sign their property over to him. Upon leaving, one of the owners is asked to hand over the rights to a docking harbor, allowing the shipment of the “White Rose”. Chun Li overhears this. Meanwhile at Interpol, Nash figures out that Bison’s headquarters are right across the street from the Police Station.

Later that night, Cantana, one of Bison’s secretaries, goes to a nightclub. Chun Li spies on her and notices her eyeing the girls in the club. Chun Li moves in and seductively dances with her before casually walking away into the bathroom. Cantana follows her and locks the bathroom door. Chun Li beats Cantana until Cantana reveals the location of the White Rose. Cantana’s bodyguards come back and Chun Li escapes after fighting them off.

We are then told of Bison’s origins. He is the son of Irish missionaries. He grew up an orphan having to steal fish from people in Thailand. In order to lose his conscience, he forced his daughter out of the womb of his wife prematurely. This transferred his conscience into her, thus Bison no longer had/has a conscience. Back at Gen’s home, Bison’s henchmen come after Gen and Chun Li. Gen fights them off until Balrog blows up his house with a RPG. With Gen gone and nowhere to be found, Chun Li runs off. She is then attacked by Vega, who she defeats soundly and hangs upside down over the side of a building.

Chun Li then heads to the harbor and interrogates an employee into telling her the arrival time of the White Rose. Later that night, this turns out to be a trap as several Shadaloo soldiers capture her. Chun Li is then taken back to Shadaloo headquarters and is reunited with her father. Bison tells her that Xiang outlived his usefulness and breaks his neck, killing him. Bison and Balrog leave Chun Li to the henchman to finish off. Chun Li however escapes when they try to swing her around from the ceiling like a pinata. As she runs away, she is shot in the waist by Balrog. Before Balrog could recapture her, the crowd begins throwing durians at him. This scares Balrog as he drives off in his Mercedes-Benz. Chun Li meanwhile, is rescued again by Gen, who narrowly escaped death and survived the explosion in his house.

Chun Li approaches Nash and tells him she needs backup to take down Bison. Nash and Maya oblige as Chun Li approaches the dock employee who set her up last time. The employee tells her that he was forced into deceiving her and tells her the real arrival time. Chun Li doubts him at first, but he points to the white board at the arrival time, proving that it is true. At the dock later that night, Interpol agents engage in a shootout with Shadaloo soldiers. On a ship, Chun Li finds a girl asking where her father is. Meanwhile, Gen fights Balrog and kills him by stabbing him with a pipe spraying nitrogen. We later find out that the girl is Bison’s daughter and her name is Rose, making her the White Rose. Bison takes her in and welcomes her warmly.

Bison walks into his office where he is ambushed by Gen. Gen however is no match for him. Sensing his daughter in danger, Bison goes back to his daughters room, where he finds she is gone. Gen shows up again and ambushes Bison, getting beaten up again. Chun Li then comes in and fights Bison. After a long battle, she hits him with a bamboo pole and drops sandbags on him, startling him and making him unaware of what is going on. She then charges up a Kikoken and shoots it at him, knocking him off the scaffolding they were fighting on, then jumping on his head and twisting it all the way around, breaking his neck and killing him.

Back home, Chun Li is settled down as Gen pays her a visit. He shows her an ad for a Street Fighter tournament, telling her about a Japanese fighter named Ryu. Chun Li declines, saying that she’s home for now.

REVIEW:

I’ve always been a fan of the Street Fighter game. I haven’t bothered to watch the original film that came out back i nthe late 80s, though, I will soon enough. It can’t be any worse than this. There is a reason this was released when it was and not during a time when it could really make some bucks.

When I heard they were thining of doing films on the characters from Street Fighter, I was excited. As with many video game characters, each has a very interesting backstory. The problem is getting that story to translate well onto the big screen and getting the right people for the parts. Chun-Li is an interesting character, although, for me I can count on one hand how many time I’ve beaten her. Still, I wouldn’t have picked her to be first, I’d have gone with M.Bison, Ryu, Guille, or someone of that caliber. Still, the story is not this film’s downfall, but rather the atrocious acting from two of the leads.

Kristin Kreuk, who apparently is from Smallville, somehow won the role of Chun-Li. Good for her for winning the part and all, but I would have given it to a more Asian actress, such as Maggie Q, Kelly Hu, etc. That’s just me, though. Kreuk is very wooden and unbelievable as Chun-Li. For someone who loses her mother and dad is missing, you’d think there’s have been some emotion going on, but nothing. Even after she is reunited with and watches her dad get killed, there is little to no emotional depth to her. The narration was even worse. If I wanted to hear monotone speaking, I’d listen to Ben Stein. Kreuk just made this film painful for me.

Another bad acting performance comes from Chris Klein. Look, this guy has come along way in his career, but someone needs to advise him to take better roles. Now, he may be a fan of the game, so taking this one may have just been because of those feelings. Klein, though, has to give his worse performance on screen I’ve ever seen from him. I’ve seen better acting from elementary school theater productions. Not to mention his character seems to be just thrown in there to throw some sort of subplot into this already convoluted movie…I’ll get to that in a bit.

Not all the acting was bad, though. Neal McDonough steals the show as M.Bison. He makes this thing watchable, that’s for sure. On top of that, his accent seems authentic, even if I can’t place where it is exactly he’s supposed to be from.

Robin Shou has a bit of an ironic role here. You may remember in Mortal Kombat, as Liu Kang, he was a bit of a rebellious “chosen one”. Here, he’s on the other side of that coin. His role as Gen has him teaching Chun-Li various fighting techniques and whatnot to survive. I found a bit of humor in that. Like klein, he appears to be a lot smaller than he was in the role we know him best for, but his talent (acting and martial arts) has not dwindled at all.

Moon Bloodgood is a nice piece of eye candy for those of us that are not really attracted to Kristin Kreuk. Her role, though, isn’t that big, and actually involves that convoluted subplot that really doesn’t need to be in this thing. Come to think of it, she might have made a good Chun-Li.

Michel Clarke Duncan fits Balrog to a ‘T’ and Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas shows up as Vega. Both characters though seem to be thrown in just to let the viewers have some characters from the game.

This film has too much potential to be this bad. Everything is in place for it to succeed, except two things. The afforestation bad acting and the convoluted subplot involving Interpol and trying to catch M.Bison’s crime syndicate. Now, I understand they had to stick something in there to play up the bad guy role of Bison and all, but this just felt tacked on and pointless. Also, they spent way too much time on the early years of Chun-Li. Obviously, this is an origin story, but people aren’t watching it to see drama and a little girl hanging on her dad for 30 minutes. We want some action, and there just wasn’t enough in it for me.

Video games just don’t make good movies 90% of the time. There are a few exceptions. Of course, it wasn’t that long ago that the same could have been said for comic book movies. All it takes is the right one to catch on. Unfortunately, this is not it, and may very well be the first and last of the origin films. I haven’t heard of any more in the works. As you can tell, I’m not fan of this picture, and kind of knew it wasn’t going to be any good before I even popped it in the DVD player, but I still watched it anyway, hoping I would be wrong. As I always say, you should watch and make your own decision, you’ve just read my opinion,

2 out of 5 stars

American Pie 2

PLOT:

The story is about the four friends, and their attempts to have the greatest summer party ever at a summer beach house in Michigan first used by Kevin’s older brother four years ago. Kevin is lost without Vicky, and often accidentally makes advances on her even though they are no longer dating. Nadia is coming for the party, and Jim is desperate so he asks Michelle for help with his sexual problems. Stifler invites his younger brother to party, and Finch has yet another meeting with Stifler’s mom. Oz is going steady, and has a long distance relationship while his girlfriend who is in Spain, but once again Stifler interrupts the phone sex. The film keeps the same cult status as the first, and also holds true to the idea of piling on risqué scenes one after another. The movie also focuses more on Jim and Michelle, who, when Nadia arrives early, pretend to be in a relationship so she will not expect Jim to have sex (After the incident with “Pussy Palace”). They break the fake relationship off once Jim is ready to sleep with Nadia but Jim, having fallen in love with Michelle, proceeds to turn down Nadia and enter into a relationship with Michelle instead.

The end of the movie shows many of the friends sleeping with familiar (and some not-so familiar) people. Jim is with Michelle and Oz is with Heather, like in the first movie. Sherman gives up on getting anyone, but the rejected Nadia, who wanted Jim because he was a geek, is turned on by his “Sherminator” gimmick, and has sex with him. Stifler ends up with two women he at first thought were lesbians. Kevin doesn’t end up with anyone, but he does seem to succeed in getting over Vicky. As for Finch, he spends the night talking with a few girls, but he doesn’t sleep with any of them. Soon after, Stifler’s mother arrives, and the end of the movie shows her car on the side of the road, with Finch having sex with her.

REVIEW:

This is the best of the American Pie films. True, the first one set the precedent and a new standard for raunch in cinema today, this one took off with those ideas and made a absolutely hilarious film.

All the major characters return for another helping of pie, although when this was released Mena Suvari, Chris Klein, and Tara Reid were off to bigger and better things, and Sean William Scott was working his way up the food chain. I think for this film, though, having them all back, even if for  a few brief scenes really captures the feelings one has after the first year of college away from your friends.

Perhaps the best known part of this film is the lesbian “challenge” scene where Stifler, Jim, and Finch are caught in the house and the two girls decide to have some fun with them that include kissing, grabbing, and finally requesting a hand job. I’ll admit, it’s my favorite part.

Another popular scene is Jim’s (who else) mishap with superglue (rather than lubricant). The series of misadventures that follows that is hilarious, all the way up to the diatribe Jim’s dad gives the lady in the wheelchair in the waiting room.

There is a bit of a touching moment where Jim realizes he’s in love with Michele and leaves ultra hot Nadia in the lighthouse to profess his love. Those that are into that lovey-dovey stuff will really eat that up, so yeah, this is one of those films that has something for everyone, but proceed with caution. This film can be offensive to some, otherwise, watch and have fun!

5 out of 5 stars

American Pie

PLOT:

Set in 1999, four Michigan high school seniors make a pact to lose their virginity before their high school graduation after a geeky classmate, Chuck Sherman (Chris Owen) claims to have done so at a party at fellow classmate Steve Stifler’s (Seann William Scott) house.

Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), the initiator of the pact, tries to repair his relationship with his girlfriend Vicky (Tara Reid) after they have a serious fight at the party when she accuses him of being with her only for sex. Chris ‘Oz’ Ostreicher (Chris Klein), who is on the high school lacrosse team with Stifler, joins the jazz choir to pick up girls, as the girls in the band know little of his insensitive jock reputation. Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), the mochaccino-drinking sophisticate, pays Vicky’s friend Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) $200 to spread rumours around the school of his sexual prowess, hoping that it will increase his chances of success.

Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) pursues Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), an exchange student from (former) Czechoslovakia. After she comes to Jim’s house to study with him, she has to change clothes after her ballet practice, so Stifler convinces Jim to set up a web-cam so they can watch her change. Jim quickly heads over to Kevin’s house to watch with him. Once he gets there Nadia is seen on the computer discovering his pornography collection hidden in his dresser, and instead of being offended, she begins looking through it while masturbating.

Kevin urges Jim to go back home, saying this is his best opportunity to lose his virginity. Jim arrives and Nadia orders him to strip. Meanwhile, it becomes apparent that he had incorrectly addressed the email with the web-cam link to Kevin and Stifler, having instead sent the link to every mailbox in the school directory; virtually the entire student body are watching.

As Jim slowly caresses her leg up to her genitals, he climaxes prematurely. As Nadia is about to leave, he convinces her to stay, but upon seeing her nude and touching her pubic area, he climaxes prematurely again, humiliating himself in front of the entire student body. In his desperation, Jim asks band geek Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) to the senior prom as she is apparently the only girl at his school who did not see what happened.

Finch, meanwhile, has his own problems. Stifler, angry that a girl turned him down for the prom because she was waiting for Finch to ask her, puts a laxative into Finch’s mochaccino. Finch, being paranoid about the lack of cleanliness in the school restrooms, and unable to go home to use the toilet as he usually does, is tricked by Stifler to use the girls’ restroom. Afterward, he emerges before all the other students at school, humiliated and is left dateless.

At the prom, everything seems hopeless for the four boys until Vicky asks the girl that Chuck Sherman claimed to have bedded about her “first time”. She proclaims to everyone at the prom that she and Sherman did not have sex at Stifler’s party, leaving Sherman embarrassed and making him wet himself. The revelation takes the pressure off of Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch, and they head to the post-prom party with new hope.

At the after-party at Stifler’s house, all four boys fulfil their pledge. Kevin and Vicky have made up and have sex in an upstairs bedroom, but the act is very awkward. Vicky breaks up with Kevin afterwards on the grounds that they will drift apart when they go to college, with him attending the University of Michigan and her at Cornell University.

Oz confesses the pact to Heather (Mena Suvari), a girl from the jazz choir, and renounces it, saying that just by them being together makes him a winner. They fall in love, begin a relationship, and ends up making love on the porch though the reformed Oz never admits that they did.

Finch strays downstairs to the basement recreation room where he meets Stifler’s mother (Jennifer Coolidge). She is aroused by his maturity, and they have sex on the pool table. Stifler finds them together in the morning and faints.

Jim and Michelle have sex after he finds out that she saw the “Nadia Incident” after all. She accepted his offer to be his date because of it, knowing he was a “sure thing”, but she makes him wear two condoms to combat his earlier ‘problem’ with Nadia. Jim is surprised by Michelle’s unexpectedly aggressive behaviour in bed. In the morning he wakes up to find her gone, she used him for a one-night stand, which Jim thinks is “cool”.

The morning after the prom Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch eat breakfast at their favourite restaurant where they toast to “the next step.”

REVIEW:

Back in the 80s, there were tons of sex comedies. Then, the 90s came and they seemed to disappear, until American Pie. Still regarded as one of the best sex comedies and the film that brought us the term “MILF”, there is not doubt in my mind after watching it again that it will withstand the test of time.

The cast of this film was comprised of virtual unknowns. Here it is 10 yrs later and many of them, especially Shannon Elizabeth and Sean William Scott, have gone on to bigger and better things, but none of them have been sitting around cashing residual checks from this film.

The pie scene is best seen in the unrated version, because the theatrical release isn’t as shocking. However, it is the highlight of the film, aside from the introduction of Stifler’s mom and Michelle’s final band camp tale.

All in all this is a very good film, but as with many sex comedies, it’s not for everyone. Proceed with caution if you’re easily offended, otherwise watch and enjoy.

4 out of 5 stars

Say It Isn’t So

 

PLOT:

The film begins with Gilbert Noble (Klein) taking a stray cat named “Ringo” to the pound at which he works. Advised about a haircut, Gilbert goes to a hairdresser’s where he meets a beautiful young hairdresser woman named Josephine Wingfield (Jo). As Jo cuts Gilbert’s hair, she mentions that she lost a tail-less cat named Ringo a while ago, leading Gilbert to tell her that Ringo is at the pound. Immediately after this revelation, Jo accidentally cuts off a part of Gilbert’s ear, and he is rushed to the hospital.

To make up for the incident, Jo invites Gilbert to her house for lunch the next day, where Gilbert meets Jo’s self-centered mother Valdine (Sally Field) and stroke-suffering father Walter (Richard Jenkins). After the lunch day, Gilbert and Jo start dating frequently, and eventually fall in love.

As the days go by, Gilbert and Jo see each other and eventually have sex for the first time. But just as Gilbert prepares to propose to Jo, he receives a call from an agent who has been searching for Gilbert’s long-lost mother. Apparently, the agent has come up with the news that Gilbert’s mother is really Valdine Wingfield, something that shocks them all. Jo then leaves the Wingfield household, and Gilbert stays there where the news somehow leaks out of them having sex as siblings.

A few months later, a surprise comes to the Wingfield doorstep in the form of a young man named Leon Pitofsky (Jack Plotnick) who claims to be Valdine and Walter’s son. When Leon reveals the proof (birth papers), Valdine and Walter, who gets better for a few moments, angrily lash out at Gilbert and force him to leave. Gilbert runs for his life and flees Indiana to Oregon (where Jo lives) to tell her the news. Valdine phones the police station in the county where Jo lives, reports Gilbert as a sexual preedator in order to stop Gilbert from telling Jo. She tells the police to keep the whole thing quiet but the police prove to be just as corrupt as the criminals they capture and hang “Wanted” posters all over Gilbert’s destination town, depicting Gilbert as a “sexual predator” (or, as a dumb foreigner puts it, a “Prevert”).

On his way to the town, Gilbert meets a legless middle-aged African-American named Dig McCaffrey (Orlando Jones), who gives him directions and hands him a business card should he ever need him. However, Gilbert is soon spotted by people who saw the posters, and is immediately shunned by the society as a “pervert”.

Meanwhile, Josephine is engaged to Jack Mitchelson (Eddie Cibrian), a rich and powerful young man who secretly deals in cocaine and controls over half the county by paying off numerous politicians. Valdine keeps on pushing Josephine for the marriage, although Josephine still loves Gilbert.

As Gilbert tries to hide from the authorities, he seeks Dig’s help, who frequently manages to aid him in his escape from muggers and killers. Ultimately, after countless escapades with mental-patient Mr. Campisi (C. Ernst Harth), Gilbert finally manages to find Leon (Valdine’s real son). Determined to win Josephine back, Gilbert, with Dig’s help, makes a plan to change Josephine’s mind before the impending wedding. But the plan backfires when Leon gets away from Dig and Gilbert gets in an awkward situation (with his hand inside a cow’s rectum) and Josephine sees him. Another attempt to have a message (“JO! I’M NOT YOUR BROTHER! MARRY ME!”) flashed across the sky from a plane ends up in Gilbert being arrested and being sent to an asylum (after the word “NOT” is ripped off by a nearby tree as they take off in Dig’s plane).

Ultimately, Gilbert is not able to stop Josephine from marrying Mitchelson. But police arrive at the marriage scene to inform that Gilbert died in car accident, which was actually a sabotage by Leon. But unknown to everyone, Gilbert was not driving the car at the time of the accident. One of Mitchelson’s goons who had taken the car from Gilbert was the one whose ashes were found. Even better for Gilbert, Walter makes a good recovery and reveals to Josephine that it was Valdine who planned the whole thing to destroy their relationship and force Josephine into marrying Mitchelson. Also, the news that Valdine is Gilbert’s mother was fed to the detective by none other than Mitchelson.

Seeing Josephine defy her for the very first time proves to be too much for Valdine to handle, as she has a stroke and falls unconscious while attacking Leon, who also participated in interrupting the wedding.

Thinking Gilbert to be dead, Josephine goes back to the roof of the animal shelter where they used to hang out to disperse Gilbert’s ashes and to give him the one gun salute (as Gilbert used to give dogs who were about to be put to sleep). Gilbert, who has just joined back his old job, sees her and is mistaken that she wants to commit suicide. They are finally reunited on the roof of the same animal shelter which was a catalyst for their coming together.

A few months later, Gilbert and Josephine are married, with Walter, Valdine, Leon, Dig and many other people attending, this time with Walter on his feet and Valdine in a wheelchair during a stroke. Also, as a surprise wedding present, Gilbert’s mother agent turns up and tells Gilbert that he has truly found his mother. In an ironic twist, Gilbert’s mother turns out to be Suzanne Somers, a famous actress/sex symbol about whom Gilbert used to fantasize while masturbating.

A deleted scene or alternate ending on the DVD release shows Gilly & Jo opening thier own animal shelter together & they are seen standing on the same roof top happily in love. Jo has also become pregnant with their first child.

REVIEW:

I remember watching this when it came out back in 2001 and thinking it was pretty average. Years later and my opinion of this film is that while it has a few funny moments sprinkled in, for the most part it is pretty lame.

Chris Klein, best known for playing Oz in the American Pie movies, has the acting chops to carry a film, and this seems like the kind of bad movie that was just a stepping stone, but I still think he could have done so much better.

Heather Graham’s career has been up and down. This is one of her down moments. Not her finest role.

Speaking of one who shouldn’t have taken a role in this film, the venerable Sally Field is above films like this, unless she did it just for fun, then its ok, but if she actually auditioned for this role, then she made a mistake.

The script for this picture is just not good. There’s no if, ands, or buts about it. Since the script is so bad, it makes the rest of the picture seem sub-par. The only bright spot was Orlando Jones’ Dig. He saved the film from mediocrity.

In case you can’t tell, I’m not a fan of this flick. However, its not the worst film I’ve seen and there are parts that are worth sitting through. This is the kid of movie you rent as a date movie with the explicit purpose of having something going on while you make out and can easily have playing in case someone walks in (parents, roommate, etc.)

2 out of 5 stars